August 25, 2025 • 30 mins
Have you ever stumbled when someone asks "What do you do?" That seemingly simple question often leaves us fumbling for words, underselling our value, or rambling without clarity. After attending a powerful female entrepreneurship conference in New York City, I'm sharing a perspective-shifting approach to answering this question in a way that truly captures your essence and impact.
As a multi-passionate creative who's navigated various professional identities, I understand the complexity of defining yourself when you don't fit neatly into one box. Many of us feel pressure to present ourselves as "pure entrepreneurs" or downplay certain aspects of our professional lives due to perceived judgment.
My non-linear path has taught me that there's no shame in creating a professional identity that combines entrepreneurial ventures with traditional employment if that arrangement creates a life you find fulfilling. What matters isn't whether whether you're building an authentic life aligned with your values.
When someone asks what you do, start with "I help..." followed by who you help and what transformation you facilitate. This immediately shifts focus from your title to your impact.
Download my free 5-minute pre-workout ritual guide through the link in the show notes, and share how you answer this question by reaching out!
Connect with Me
Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianasmindandmoves
Website: unbreakablemindandbody.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
Download your Free 5-Min Pre-Workout Guide:
https://tiana-gonzalez.mykajabi.com/likeyoumeanit
Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
podcast.
I am your host, tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate, creative
storyteller and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
My name is Tiana and on thisepisode, we are going to dive
into a very powerful, verycommon, very often asked and
(00:52):
often answered question, thequestion being what do you do?
Now?
Before I dive into the episode,I want to backtrack and tell you
about an event that I went tojust a few days ago.
That was spectacular, and it isat this event where one of the
(01:12):
keynote speakers talked aboutthis question and framed it in a
way that I had never heardbefore and changed my
perspective on it.
So I went to an in-personnetworking event or conference,
if you will, in New York City,and it was geared towards female
(01:35):
entrepreneurs and businessowners.
There was a lineup of powerfulspeakers, there was a lunch
included in the event, where wehad an opportunity to meet new
people and network with eachother, and it was quite amazing.
(01:55):
It takes a lot of work to puton an in-person event of that
caliber.
Initially, there were 200tickets for the event.
The event did sell out but, aswe all know, sometimes things in
life happen and between thepoint where the event was sold
out and the first day of theconference, quite a significant
(02:21):
number of people had to canceltheir plans or shift gears and
attend virtually.
So they did offer that optionas we got closer to the day of
the event, which probably washelpful for some people who
maybe had difficulties travelingor coming into New York City,
(02:42):
or maybe they couldn't attendthe whole thing, but they wanted
to get a piece of the action.
Now I'll tell you I feel funnyactually a little bit Not funny
in saying that I'm a femaleentrepreneur.
Of course I am a femaleentrepreneur.
Of course I am a femaleentrepreneur.
(03:03):
I run my own business.
I have done severalreiterations of my branding.
I have dived deep intoself-improvement, professional
development, personaldevelopment.
I've hired business coaches.
(03:24):
I've learned sales strategy.
I've learned online marketingand sales.
I've done all the things and Iwill say that for me personally,
I burned the whole shit down.
I left working for anyone elseand was completely on my own in
(03:50):
2021.
And I did that for really onlya few months before I started to
get stir crazy.
I felt like I was always in myhouse, I was always home.
There was no boundaries betweenwork and personal life and
every time I was home I feltthis inordinate pressure to be
(04:15):
productive all the time.
For someone like me, who's ago-getter, who's a type A
personality, who is someone whosets their mind on something and
is relentless in that pursuit,it's dangerous, because in that
case, it's too much of a goodthing.
So I decided towards, I wouldsay, the fall of 2022.
(04:43):
So it was about a year that Iwas completely on my own.
I had my own app.
I did my own lead generation,marketing, sales, content
creation, invoicing, contracts,contract renewals, client
onboarding and then the actualwork of the business, which is
(05:04):
online fitness training,nutrition, education,
programming and mentorship.
I was tired and I decided Ineeded more stimulation.
I wanted to meet new people andI had been training at a gym
that was really geared towardsyounger people.
(05:25):
That was the ideal demographicBeautiful space, great equipment
.
Not necessarily the cleanestgym in the world, because it's a
lot of younger kids and theydon't take care of things as
good, as some adults do.
Typically.
In this particularestablishment, it was often that
(05:46):
I would go to use the restroomand it would be messy and not
just a little piece of paper onthe floor here and there but
like really gross.
So I got turned off by that andI wanted to have another option
.
Somewhere else I could trainand also meet new people.
So I started working part-timeat a CrossFit gym and,
(06:07):
unfortunately for the people ofthat community and for the owner
of that gym, the person whoowned that gym just had a very
set way of doing things and wasnot open to any sort of creative
or constructive criticism orsuggestions.
(06:31):
So it was his way or thehighway.
And I remember discussing heyyou know, I want more work or I
want to do different types ofwork and here's what I can offer
you.
We had so many conversationsabout it and at the end of the
day, his answer was to just giveme more classes at a wage that
perhaps is above the nationalaverage of what functional
(06:55):
fitness coaches get paid.
But for me and my level ofexperience, knowledge and what I
bring to the table as a coachand mentor was severely
underpaying me.
So unfortunately, that didn'twork out Now in 2023, I decided
to go back into construction.
I talk about that extensively onthe previous episode.
(07:16):
If you didn't catch that, Iwould love for you to check that
out.
But here we are now.
At this time, I am no longer inconstruction and, yes, I have
bounced around quite a bit.
I'm fucking resilient and Iknow that I can handle change
well as long as it's got somecalculated risk and it feels
(07:38):
like the juice is worth thesqueeze, and I talk about that a
lot on a lot of my previousepisodes.
So if you are new here, I'dlove for you to carve out some
time, maybe while you're cookingor if you're taking your dog
out for a walk or while you'rein the car, to check out some of
my other episodes, because yourgirl can yap and I yap about a
lot of shit.
But coming back around to why, Ifelt a little insecure and
(08:04):
sometimes I second guess myselfor I stutter or I trip on my
words when I call myself a smallbusiness owner or a female
entrepreneur because right inthis very moment, I am working
at a big box gym and I love it.
It fills my cup and it feeds mysoul in a way that no other job
(08:26):
has ever done before.
I literally love going to workeach day.
I love my clients, I love theenvironment that I'm in, I love
my team.
I love my leadership.
I can't say enough good thingsabout this place.
I spend a lot of time there,even when I am not working,
(08:47):
because I thoroughly enjoy itand I love the brand.
I stand behind almosteverything that the brand
represents and stands for.
It's very much in line with mypersonal values.
But when it comes toentrepreneurship, there is an
energy of looking down on peoplewho choose to keep a nine to
(09:13):
five or never really expandtheir hobby or side job or a
side hustle into their full-timejourney.
Listen, when you start to getolder, the goal is not to work
more.
The goal is to create timefreedom and financial freedom so
(09:37):
that you're not working 24hours a day, and there is a fine
line between productivity andinvesting in the business and
working on projects, creatingthings and overdoing it.
Not have burned myself out withmy online brand in 2021 and
(10:09):
into 2022, which then steered meinto going back into a nine to
five in construction.
Now, in the summer of 2024,right around just before
Memorial Day of 2024, I quitconstruction and I did not have
anything lined up, and that wasscary as fuck.
And I will tell you that had Inot ever experienced
entrepreneurial life, I wouldn'thave had the courage to do that
(10:31):
.
You see, being an entrepreneur,I've failed so many times.
I launched countless offersproducts, ebooks, coaching,
containers, things like that.
Sometimes it's it landed welland I would generate income from
(10:52):
it.
Sometimes I'd be talking tocrickets.
There were many times where Iwould do a masterclass or a
webinar and there would be noone watching it.
People would sign up but thenthey'd say, oh, we're, we're
going to watch the recording andyou know what.
It can.
Be so disheartening to put yourheart and soul into something
(11:16):
to present to an empty room, toget feedback from people saying
like oh, you know I can't makeit, or this looks really great,
but it's not a good time for me.
Whatever those reasons are andI'm not going to be a sassy
person and say they're excuses,because sometimes they're not
(11:37):
excuses, they're valid reasonsand we should respect people who
have even the slightestinterest in what we do and how
we do it but I have gone on atangent and I want to bring it
back to the conference because Iwanted to reinforce that in my
(11:57):
heart.
I am an entrepreneur and I'mworking on an offer and I'm in
the creative process currently,and I had to slow it down a
little bit this summer because Iwas working on doing a ton of
photo shoots.
I was working on doing a ton ofphoto shoots.
(12:19):
I've had some perimenopausetype of symptoms that I've been
focusing on, and so there's justbeen a lot in my personal life
and, quite frankly, when it's 90degrees and sunny outside, I do
not want to be sitting on mylaptop.
I want to be baking in the sunor dipping in the pool.
So I have not completed theoffer just yet and it's gotten a
(12:42):
little muddy.
I'm not super clear on what I'mgoing to do with it, but don't
you worry, because as soon as Iknow what it is, I will be here
to share it with you.
This conference was awesome andonce I got there, I felt like,
oh yeah, I'm in the right room.
I'm in a room full of I thinkthere was about 170 attendees
(13:05):
that showed up in person and itwas fabulous.
There was a lot of energy.
There was a lot of energy.
There was a sisterhood type ofvibe and I think I want to throw
my own event.
Maybe not of that caliber, butI was inspired by one of the
speakers who shared a story.
(13:26):
She is in Florida and she's inthe beauty spectrum of
businesses.
She offers waxing services andshe mentioned that she had no
intention of ever becoming anevent planner or hosting events.
However, she saw there was anopportunity or a need for people
(13:50):
in her industry to connect inperson and get together, posted
something in a Facebook group,had 73 people interested.
The first event about 50% ofthose people actually showed up
and from there she's hostedseveral events.
She's even been able to chargefor the price of admission and
(14:10):
offer different things and thenupsell into whatever her
containers are.
So she does have her ownbusiness, and then she also
coaches and mentors others whowant to do what she does, and
that's beautiful, and I thinkI'm brainstorming over here that
(14:31):
maybe that's something that Iwould like to do.
Now.
I'm in Westchester County inNew York, so I've got tons of
options as far as places where Icould host an event what type
of event and this is still very,very fresh.
I'm sure I'll gain clarity overthe next few days once I sit
(14:53):
with the idea a little bit moreand think about what I would
like the outcome to be.
But going back to that originalquestion that I shared, right
after the intro another speakerpresented a very cool question
what do you do?
(15:13):
And he framed his answer usingbasically the pitch or the
tagline that many of thepresenters that were physically
in the room use.
So it was kind of cool to seehim make it relatable and use
people that existed and wereactually in the same room with
(15:36):
all of us and bring their energyinto his keynote speech.
And when he talked about thequestion what do you do, he said
it's a question that is sobasic and is asked so often and
a lot of times when it's ourturn to answer it, we completely
(15:58):
fumble it.
It is totally boring.
The person who asks it regretsasking us and nine times out of
10, they're like all right.
I had two people ask me what doI do and I caught myself sort
(16:21):
of in that same type of ramblethat the speaker was talking
about, where I was kind of goingon and on and on and on the
first person.
The second person I just saidI'm a fitness coach and a
podcast host and I find thisquestion super interesting and
the thought process behind howto answer it even more
(16:44):
interesting, because it is aquestion all of us get asked at
some point Some of us maybe morethan others if we're putting
ourselves out there, if we'recreating a bio for our Instagram
profile, or if you're creatinga TikTok and you're introducing
yourself to your audience or tonew people or people that find
(17:05):
you on their For you page.
So how do you answer thatquestion succinctly and in a way
that captures your energy?
Well, what I learned at theconference was the easiest place
to start when you're answeringthat question is to say I help
(17:28):
fill in the blank with the typeof person that you help, and
then you help them do what withtheir what.
Now I'll help you fill in theseblanks here.
So here's a good example.
I would say, as an example, Ihelp busy moms lose the last 10
pounds of baby fat so that theycan feel great in their jeans
(17:50):
fat so that they can feel greatin their genes.
That's a long answer and it'snot a very good one, but that's
an example.
So, now that you know that,when you're looking at people's
bios online, or maybe if you'relooking to hire a trainer or
(18:11):
coach.
Nine times out of 10, you'llsee something to that effect.
It may not say the words I helpblank, fill in the blank, blank
, blank, but it'll be along,that vibe, that kind of energy.
But when I was growing up,sometimes I would offend people
(18:31):
by asking them what do you do?
And I got to tell you.
Looking back now, there was oneincident when I was probably
about 22 years old and the guy Iwas dating.
I asked his friend hey, mike,what do you do?
And my boyfriend got reallypissed off at me and yelled at
(18:53):
me in front of his friend andthe other people that were
around us and said that I wasreally rude and that I should
never ask that question.
Now I got to tell youinstinctively.
I assumed okay, this guy'seither in the mob, or he's a
drug dealer, or he runs numbers,he's a bookie, maybe he's an
(19:14):
ex-con, I don't know, because Ihad been around some pretty
shitty people at certain points.
Prior to that, if you recall,my dad did over 13 years in jail
in New York State and I spent alot of time visiting him.
So yeah, I definitely metcriminals, that's for sure.
(19:36):
And before my dad went toprison.
He did have some interestingacquaintances that would stop by
the karate school every once ina while.
So I learned my lesson not toask that question if my
boyfriend was around or if itwas one of his friends, because
somehow that would be consideredoffensive.
(19:57):
Now, at this point in my life, Iunderstand how somebody could
find it offensive, because incertain instances asking someone
what they do can imply thatthey're being sized up, that the
person asking is preparing tomake a judgment of the other
(20:22):
party.
Before that experience in my20s of getting my head ripped
off, that would never have beenthe case.
When we ask somebody what theydo, it's more of getting to know
them and finding out how dothey spend a lot of their time?
What do they find interesting?
(20:42):
Do they enjoy their work?
Is it their passion?
Do they have hobbies thatthey've turned into their career
?
Or is it something where theyjust check off a box, get a
paycheck and they call it a dayand there is absolutely no
judgment and nothing wrong withthat either.
(21:03):
But it's interesting to mebecause I think that at certain
points in time I have felt alittle bit of shame or judged
myself harshly in telling peopleI'm a personal trainer, because
, if you know anything aboutfitness, there are a lot of
(21:26):
personal trainers that arefucking broke.
There are a lot of personaltrainers that are struggling
financially.
There are a lot of personaltrainers that don't make the cut
.
They don't know how to sellthemselves and to build a
business, but they're not taughtany of that.
(21:50):
Most trainers get into fitnessbecause they are passionate
about helping people.
Maybe they had a parent or aloved one or a distant cousin or
friend who went on anincredible weight loss journey
and they were inspired.
Maybe they went on anincredible weight loss journey
and feel like they want to sharetheir knowledge with their
clients.
(22:11):
For me personally, I startedbodybuilding and I had a lot of
success, but then I also had alot of heartbreak because I was
at the peak condition, won mypro card and within a couple of
weeks I was significantlyheavier.
I was out of shape because Ihad issues with my metabolism,
my thyroid, my kidney, my liverit's a very long list of things
(22:33):
and it took me over a decade toreverse some of that damage not
all of it to get my health backin order, and through those
experiences I realized there's alot of misinformation out there
.
There are a lot of women whocould benefit from learning a
little bit about my experiencesand me, helping them to not make
(22:57):
the same mistakes, and that'swhy I became a trainer.
But I don't have any shameabout what I do now.
In fact, I'm incredibly proudof it, because what I do is not
just count reps.
You know, I'll never forget thisstory.
It was probably the second gymI ever worked at.
(23:22):
We're going back to 2014, maybe2015.
And there was a young lady thatworked in the boutique within
the gym.
There was a tiny littleclothing boutique in this gym
and she knew everybody.
She had a big mouth, she knewall the gossip, so I was careful
with her not to tell her toomany personal things, because
then I knew everyone in the gymwould know my business.
(23:42):
But she asked me to help herand she was very cheap.
She would always show up late,she complained the whole time
and we only did 30 minutesessions and I will never forget
she may have had one or twosessions left in the package
(24:03):
that she bought and I asked herif she was going to renew and
she was kind of like, you know,oh no, this is fine, but I'm
just going to finish thesesessions and then, you know, do
what you taught me.
I don't need somebody to countmy reps, excuse me, the audacity
, the fucking audacity.
So I'll never forget that andmaybe that's part of where that
(24:31):
shame was rooted.
You know that somebody would saythat that's what they think of
me.
That's all I do is count yourreps.
Unfortunately, that person wasjust not a good person and the
words they stung a lot in themoment and they kind of echoed
(24:52):
for a long time because I wasfearful that that's what people
thought of me.
But I know that's not true and,just like I mentioned in
several episodes previously,thoughts are just thoughts.
They're not necessarily truths.
And even if you believesomething, a belief is simply
(25:13):
something that you have thoughtabout or still think about so
much and you get confirmationbias and you believe it to be
true for you, but it may not bean absolute truth for everyone.
And so it's good to have somecuriosity and to question your
(25:35):
thoughts, and in this case, Iknow what I do is so much more
than that.
But going back to the questionwhat do you do?
But going back to the questionwhat do you do?
(26:01):
How would you answer thatquestion?
I'd love to hear your answers,and maybe, when you initially
think of your answer, it hasnothing to do with what you do
use work.
I would say similar to what Isay in the intro of this show
I'm a multi-passionate, creativestoryteller.
I help people find the couragewithin them to face the
challenges that are in their way, to overcome the obstacles that
(26:25):
they believe are bigger thanthem which they're not and to
help them achieve anything theyset their mind to.
Now, that's a really longanswer, but that's it in a
nutshell.
At the conference, I met thiswonderful speaker and she
(26:45):
teaches people how to createpowerful keynotes and pitch
themselves for public speakinggigs.
She asked me well, what is itthat you do?
I had mentioned to her beforeshe asked me that I'm kind of in
this limbo space right nowbecause I work in person
exclusively and I'm creating anoffer and I have the podcast
(27:06):
exclusively.
And I'm creating an offer and Ihave the podcast and I'm trying
to make it all cohesive, and Iknow that I will.
It's just in this developmentstage right now.
And so I said I'm a fitnesscoach and a podcast host and I
said the name of the showUnbreakable Mind and Body and I
said you know, we talk about allof the mental stuff, and so I
(27:29):
help my clients with the mentalaspect, and then we get our
asses in the gym and we get intoour bodies.
And she looked at me and shesaid I actually think that
that's beautiful and it worksreally well together.
She's like they're completelyrelated, because you train your
mind to train your body.
If you train your body, youwill also train your mind, and
(27:49):
so I loved getting thatconfirmation and validation from
an external source, because itjust helped me feel a little bit
better about all the thingsthat I've been doing.
And the truth is, do I needapproval?
No, I can do whatever the fuckI want to, but it's nice to know
that it actually landed withsomeone, someone who is in the
(28:10):
online space, who's in thecoaching space, who does public
speaking and who understands theway that online business works
and how it's very different fromin-person coaching.
So if you were to answer thequestion, what do you do?
How would you answer it?
Now I'm going to challenge youand I'm going to ask you to get
(28:32):
in touch with me and let me knowwhat your answer is you can
check the show notes to find meon Instagram.
You can also download abeautiful freebie that I made.
It's a mini guide.
It's a five minute pre-workoutritual.
(28:54):
There's five steps.
Each step takes about a minutethe first time.
You know the first couple oftimes that you do it and then
from there you can do it withyou know, just a few seconds to
get clear on what it is you'regoing to accomplish in the gym
that very day.
You do this before you get outonto the fitness floor.
You decide your top threeexercises that you're going to
(29:17):
complete and you make sure thatyou have a plan so that you
stick to it, and it doesn't haveto be a written down plan.
It doesn't have to be agorgeous workout routine to it
and it doesn't have to be awritten down plan.
It doesn't have to be agorgeous workout routine.
What I mean by a plan is thatyou mentally have a plan of what
you're going to do.
For example, you want to dopush or you want to do chest and
tries.
Okay, that's what I mean.
(29:38):
So if you're interested inchecking out my Instagram, send
me a text or downloading thatmini guide Instagram, send me a
text or downloading that miniguide.
The way to do all of that is inthe show notes.
I appreciate you being here.
I appreciate your time andattention, as always, and I'll
catch you on the next one.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
podcast.
I am your host, tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate, creative
storyteller and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
My name is Tiana and on thisepisode, we are going to dive
into a very powerful, verycommon, very often asked and
(00:52):
often answered question, thequestion being what do you do?
Now?
Before I dive into the episode,I want to backtrack and tell you
about an event that I went tojust a few days ago.
That was spectacular, and it isat this event where one of the
(01:12):
keynote speakers talked aboutthis question and framed it in a
way that I had never heardbefore and changed my
perspective on it.
So I went to an in-personnetworking event or conference,
if you will, in New York City,and it was geared towards female
(01:35):
entrepreneurs and businessowners.
There was a lineup of powerfulspeakers, there was a lunch
included in the event, where wehad an opportunity to meet new
people and network with eachother, and it was quite amazing.
(01:55):
It takes a lot of work to puton an in-person event of that
caliber.
Initially, there were 200tickets for the event.
The event did sell out but, aswe all know, sometimes things in
life happen and between thepoint where the event was sold
out and the first day of theconference, quite a significant
(02:21):
number of people had to canceltheir plans or shift gears and
attend virtually.
So they did offer that optionas we got closer to the day of
the event, which probably washelpful for some people who
maybe had difficulties travelingor coming into New York City,
(02:42):
or maybe they couldn't attendthe whole thing, but they wanted
to get a piece of the action.
Now I'll tell you I feel funnyactually a little bit Not funny
in saying that I'm a femaleentrepreneur.
Of course I am a femaleentrepreneur.
Of course I am a femaleentrepreneur.
(03:03):
I run my own business.
I have done severalreiterations of my branding.
I have dived deep intoself-improvement, professional
development, personaldevelopment.
I've hired business coaches.
(03:24):
I've learned sales strategy.
I've learned online marketingand sales.
I've done all the things and Iwill say that for me personally,
I burned the whole shit down.
I left working for anyone elseand was completely on my own in
(03:50):
2021.
And I did that for really onlya few months before I started to
get stir crazy.
I felt like I was always in myhouse, I was always home.
There was no boundaries betweenwork and personal life and
every time I was home I feltthis inordinate pressure to be
(04:15):
productive all the time.
For someone like me, who's ago-getter, who's a type A
personality, who is someone whosets their mind on something and
is relentless in that pursuit,it's dangerous, because in that
case, it's too much of a goodthing.
So I decided towards, I wouldsay, the fall of 2022.
(04:43):
So it was about a year that Iwas completely on my own.
I had my own app.
I did my own lead generation,marketing, sales, content
creation, invoicing, contracts,contract renewals, client
onboarding and then the actualwork of the business, which is
(05:04):
online fitness training,nutrition, education,
programming and mentorship.
I was tired and I decided Ineeded more stimulation.
I wanted to meet new people andI had been training at a gym
that was really geared towardsyounger people.
(05:25):
That was the ideal demographicBeautiful space, great equipment
.
Not necessarily the cleanestgym in the world, because it's a
lot of younger kids and theydon't take care of things as
good, as some adults do.
Typically.
In this particularestablishment, it was often that
(05:46):
I would go to use the restroomand it would be messy and not
just a little piece of paper onthe floor here and there but
like really gross.
So I got turned off by that andI wanted to have another option
.
Somewhere else I could trainand also meet new people.
So I started working part-timeat a CrossFit gym and,
(06:07):
unfortunately for the people ofthat community and for the owner
of that gym, the person whoowned that gym just had a very
set way of doing things and wasnot open to any sort of creative
or constructive criticism orsuggestions.
(06:31):
So it was his way or thehighway.
And I remember discussing heyyou know, I want more work or I
want to do different types ofwork and here's what I can offer
you.
We had so many conversationsabout it and at the end of the
day, his answer was to just giveme more classes at a wage that
perhaps is above the nationalaverage of what functional
(06:55):
fitness coaches get paid.
But for me and my level ofexperience, knowledge and what I
bring to the table as a coachand mentor was severely
underpaying me.
So unfortunately, that didn'twork out Now in 2023, I decided
to go back into construction.
I talk about that extensively onthe previous episode.
(07:16):
If you didn't catch that, Iwould love for you to check that
out.
But here we are now.
At this time, I am no longer inconstruction and, yes, I have
bounced around quite a bit.
I'm fucking resilient and Iknow that I can handle change
well as long as it's got somecalculated risk and it feels
(07:38):
like the juice is worth thesqueeze, and I talk about that a
lot on a lot of my previousepisodes.
So if you are new here, I'dlove for you to carve out some
time, maybe while you're cookingor if you're taking your dog
out for a walk or while you'rein the car, to check out some of
my other episodes, because yourgirl can yap and I yap about a
lot of shit.
But coming back around to why, Ifelt a little insecure and
(08:04):
sometimes I second guess myselfor I stutter or I trip on my
words when I call myself a smallbusiness owner or a female
entrepreneur because right inthis very moment, I am working
at a big box gym and I love it.
It fills my cup and it feeds mysoul in a way that no other job
(08:26):
has ever done before.
I literally love going to workeach day.
I love my clients, I love theenvironment that I'm in, I love
my team.
I love my leadership.
I can't say enough good thingsabout this place.
I spend a lot of time there,even when I am not working,
(08:47):
because I thoroughly enjoy itand I love the brand.
I stand behind almosteverything that the brand
represents and stands for.
It's very much in line with mypersonal values.
But when it comes toentrepreneurship, there is an
energy of looking down on peoplewho choose to keep a nine to
(09:13):
five or never really expandtheir hobby or side job or a
side hustle into their full-timejourney.
Listen, when you start to getolder, the goal is not to work
more.
The goal is to create timefreedom and financial freedom so
(09:37):
that you're not working 24hours a day, and there is a fine
line between productivity andinvesting in the business and
working on projects, creatingthings and overdoing it.
Not have burned myself out withmy online brand in 2021 and
(10:09):
into 2022, which then steered meinto going back into a nine to
five in construction.
Now, in the summer of 2024,right around just before
Memorial Day of 2024, I quitconstruction and I did not have
anything lined up, and that wasscary as fuck.
And I will tell you that had Inot ever experienced
entrepreneurial life, I wouldn'thave had the courage to do that
(10:31):
.
You see, being an entrepreneur,I've failed so many times.
I launched countless offersproducts, ebooks, coaching,
containers, things like that.
Sometimes it's it landed welland I would generate income from
(10:52):
it.
Sometimes I'd be talking tocrickets.
There were many times where Iwould do a masterclass or a
webinar and there would be noone watching it.
People would sign up but thenthey'd say, oh, we're, we're
going to watch the recording andyou know what.
It can.
Be so disheartening to put yourheart and soul into something
(11:16):
to present to an empty room, toget feedback from people saying
like oh, you know I can't makeit, or this looks really great,
but it's not a good time for me.
Whatever those reasons are andI'm not going to be a sassy
person and say they're excuses,because sometimes they're not
(11:37):
excuses, they're valid reasonsand we should respect people who
have even the slightestinterest in what we do and how
we do it but I have gone on atangent and I want to bring it
back to the conference because Iwanted to reinforce that in my
(11:57):
heart.
I am an entrepreneur and I'mworking on an offer and I'm in
the creative process currently,and I had to slow it down a
little bit this summer because Iwas working on doing a ton of
photo shoots.
I was working on doing a ton ofphoto shoots.
(12:19):
I've had some perimenopausetype of symptoms that I've been
focusing on, and so there's justbeen a lot in my personal life
and, quite frankly, when it's 90degrees and sunny outside, I do
not want to be sitting on mylaptop.
I want to be baking in the sunor dipping in the pool.
So I have not completed theoffer just yet and it's gotten a
(12:42):
little muddy.
I'm not super clear on what I'mgoing to do with it, but don't
you worry, because as soon as Iknow what it is, I will be here
to share it with you.
This conference was awesome andonce I got there, I felt like,
oh yeah, I'm in the right room.
I'm in a room full of I thinkthere was about 170 attendees
(13:05):
that showed up in person and itwas fabulous.
There was a lot of energy.
There was a lot of energy.
There was a sisterhood type ofvibe and I think I want to throw
my own event.
Maybe not of that caliber, butI was inspired by one of the
speakers who shared a story.
(13:26):
She is in Florida and she's inthe beauty spectrum of
businesses.
She offers waxing services andshe mentioned that she had no
intention of ever becoming anevent planner or hosting events.
However, she saw there was anopportunity or a need for people
(13:50):
in her industry to connect inperson and get together, posted
something in a Facebook group,had 73 people interested.
The first event about 50% ofthose people actually showed up
and from there she's hostedseveral events.
She's even been able to chargefor the price of admission and
(14:10):
offer different things and thenupsell into whatever her
containers are.
So she does have her ownbusiness, and then she also
coaches and mentors others whowant to do what she does, and
that's beautiful, and I thinkI'm brainstorming over here that
(14:31):
maybe that's something that Iwould like to do.
Now.
I'm in Westchester County inNew York, so I've got tons of
options as far as places where Icould host an event what type
of event and this is still very,very fresh.
I'm sure I'll gain clarity overthe next few days once I sit
(14:53):
with the idea a little bit moreand think about what I would
like the outcome to be.
But going back to that originalquestion that I shared, right
after the intro another speakerpresented a very cool question
what do you do?
(15:13):
And he framed his answer usingbasically the pitch or the
tagline that many of thepresenters that were physically
in the room use.
So it was kind of cool to seehim make it relatable and use
people that existed and wereactually in the same room with
(15:36):
all of us and bring their energyinto his keynote speech.
And when he talked about thequestion what do you do, he said
it's a question that is sobasic and is asked so often and
a lot of times when it's ourturn to answer it, we completely
(15:58):
fumble it.
It is totally boring.
The person who asks it regretsasking us and nine times out of
10, they're like all right.
I had two people ask me what doI do and I caught myself sort
(16:21):
of in that same type of ramblethat the speaker was talking
about, where I was kind of goingon and on and on and on the
first person.
The second person I just saidI'm a fitness coach and a
podcast host and I find thisquestion super interesting and
the thought process behind howto answer it even more
(16:44):
interesting, because it is aquestion all of us get asked at
some point Some of us maybe morethan others if we're putting
ourselves out there, if we'recreating a bio for our Instagram
profile, or if you're creatinga TikTok and you're introducing
yourself to your audience or tonew people or people that find
(17:05):
you on their For you page.
So how do you answer thatquestion succinctly and in a way
that captures your energy?
Well, what I learned at theconference was the easiest place
to start when you're answeringthat question is to say I help
(17:28):
fill in the blank with the typeof person that you help, and
then you help them do what withtheir what.
Now I'll help you fill in theseblanks here.
So here's a good example.
I would say, as an example, Ihelp busy moms lose the last 10
pounds of baby fat so that theycan feel great in their jeans
(17:50):
fat so that they can feel greatin their genes.
That's a long answer and it'snot a very good one, but that's
an example.
So, now that you know that,when you're looking at people's
bios online, or maybe if you'relooking to hire a trainer or
(18:11):
coach.
Nine times out of 10, you'llsee something to that effect.
It may not say the words I helpblank, fill in the blank, blank
, blank, but it'll be along,that vibe, that kind of energy.
But when I was growing up,sometimes I would offend people
(18:31):
by asking them what do you do?
And I got to tell you.
Looking back now, there was oneincident when I was probably
about 22 years old and the guy Iwas dating.
I asked his friend hey, mike,what do you do?
And my boyfriend got reallypissed off at me and yelled at
(18:53):
me in front of his friend andthe other people that were
around us and said that I wasreally rude and that I should
never ask that question.
Now I got to tell youinstinctively.
I assumed okay, this guy'seither in the mob, or he's a
drug dealer, or he runs numbers,he's a bookie, maybe he's an
(19:14):
ex-con, I don't know, because Ihad been around some pretty
shitty people at certain points.
Prior to that, if you recall,my dad did over 13 years in jail
in New York State and I spent alot of time visiting him.
So yeah, I definitely metcriminals, that's for sure.
(19:36):
And before my dad went toprison.
He did have some interestingacquaintances that would stop by
the karate school every once ina while.
So I learned my lesson not toask that question if my
boyfriend was around or if itwas one of his friends, because
somehow that would be consideredoffensive.
(19:57):
Now, at this point in my life, Iunderstand how somebody could
find it offensive, because incertain instances asking someone
what they do can imply thatthey're being sized up, that the
person asking is preparing tomake a judgment of the other
(20:22):
party.
Before that experience in my20s of getting my head ripped
off, that would never have beenthe case.
When we ask somebody what theydo, it's more of getting to know
them and finding out how dothey spend a lot of their time?
What do they find interesting?
(20:42):
Do they enjoy their work?
Is it their passion?
Do they have hobbies thatthey've turned into their career
?
Or is it something where theyjust check off a box, get a
paycheck and they call it a dayand there is absolutely no
judgment and nothing wrong withthat either.
(21:03):
But it's interesting to mebecause I think that at certain
points in time I have felt alittle bit of shame or judged
myself harshly in telling peopleI'm a personal trainer, because
, if you know anything aboutfitness, there are a lot of
(21:26):
personal trainers that arefucking broke.
There are a lot of personaltrainers that are struggling
financially.
There are a lot of personaltrainers that don't make the cut
.
They don't know how to sellthemselves and to build a
business, but they're not taughtany of that.
(21:50):
Most trainers get into fitnessbecause they are passionate
about helping people.
Maybe they had a parent or aloved one or a distant cousin or
friend who went on anincredible weight loss journey
and they were inspired.
Maybe they went on anincredible weight loss journey
and feel like they want to sharetheir knowledge with their
clients.
(22:11):
For me personally, I startedbodybuilding and I had a lot of
success, but then I also had alot of heartbreak because I was
at the peak condition, won mypro card and within a couple of
weeks I was significantlyheavier.
I was out of shape because Ihad issues with my metabolism,
my thyroid, my kidney, my liverit's a very long list of things
(22:33):
and it took me over a decade toreverse some of that damage not
all of it to get my health backin order, and through those
experiences I realized there's alot of misinformation out there
.
There are a lot of women whocould benefit from learning a
little bit about my experiencesand me, helping them to not make
(22:57):
the same mistakes, and that'swhy I became a trainer.
But I don't have any shameabout what I do now.
In fact, I'm incredibly proudof it, because what I do is not
just count reps.
You know, I'll never forget thisstory.
It was probably the second gymI ever worked at.
(23:22):
We're going back to 2014, maybe2015.
And there was a young lady thatworked in the boutique within
the gym.
There was a tiny littleclothing boutique in this gym
and she knew everybody.
She had a big mouth, she knewall the gossip, so I was careful
with her not to tell her toomany personal things, because
then I knew everyone in the gymwould know my business.
(23:42):
But she asked me to help herand she was very cheap.
She would always show up late,she complained the whole time
and we only did 30 minutesessions and I will never forget
she may have had one or twosessions left in the package
(24:03):
that she bought and I asked herif she was going to renew and
she was kind of like, you know,oh no, this is fine, but I'm
just going to finish thesesessions and then, you know, do
what you taught me.
I don't need somebody to countmy reps, excuse me, the audacity
, the fucking audacity.
So I'll never forget that andmaybe that's part of where that
(24:31):
shame was rooted.
You know that somebody would saythat that's what they think of
me.
That's all I do is count yourreps.
Unfortunately, that person wasjust not a good person and the
words they stung a lot in themoment and they kind of echoed
(24:52):
for a long time because I wasfearful that that's what people
thought of me.
But I know that's not true and,just like I mentioned in
several episodes previously,thoughts are just thoughts.
They're not necessarily truths.
And even if you believesomething, a belief is simply
(25:13):
something that you have thoughtabout or still think about so
much and you get confirmationbias and you believe it to be
true for you, but it may not bean absolute truth for everyone.
And so it's good to have somecuriosity and to question your
(25:35):
thoughts, and in this case, Iknow what I do is so much more
than that.
But going back to the questionwhat do you do?
But going back to the questionwhat do you do?
(26:01):
How would you answer thatquestion?
I'd love to hear your answers,and maybe, when you initially
think of your answer, it hasnothing to do with what you do
use work.
I would say similar to what Isay in the intro of this show
I'm a multi-passionate, creativestoryteller.
I help people find the couragewithin them to face the
challenges that are in their way, to overcome the obstacles that
(26:25):
they believe are bigger thanthem which they're not and to
help them achieve anything theyset their mind to.
Now, that's a really longanswer, but that's it in a
nutshell.
At the conference, I met thiswonderful speaker and she
(26:45):
teaches people how to createpowerful keynotes and pitch
themselves for public speakinggigs.
She asked me well, what is itthat you do?
I had mentioned to her beforeshe asked me that I'm kind of in
this limbo space right nowbecause I work in person
exclusively and I'm creating anoffer and I have the podcast
(27:06):
exclusively.
And I'm creating an offer and Ihave the podcast and I'm trying
to make it all cohesive, and Iknow that I will.
It's just in this developmentstage right now.
And so I said I'm a fitnesscoach and a podcast host and I
said the name of the showUnbreakable Mind and Body and I
said you know, we talk about allof the mental stuff, and so I
(27:29):
help my clients with the mentalaspect, and then we get our
asses in the gym and we get intoour bodies.
And she looked at me and shesaid I actually think that
that's beautiful and it worksreally well together.
She's like they're completelyrelated, because you train your
mind to train your body.
If you train your body, youwill also train your mind, and
(27:49):
so I loved getting thatconfirmation and validation from
an external source, because itjust helped me feel a little bit
better about all the thingsthat I've been doing.
And the truth is, do I needapproval?
No, I can do whatever the fuckI want to, but it's nice to know
that it actually landed withsomeone, someone who is in the
(28:10):
online space, who's in thecoaching space, who does public
speaking and who understands theway that online business works
and how it's very different fromin-person coaching.
So if you were to answer thequestion, what do you do?
How would you answer it?
Now I'm going to challenge youand I'm going to ask you to get
(28:32):
in touch with me and let me knowwhat your answer is you can
check the show notes to find meon Instagram.
You can also download abeautiful freebie that I made.
It's a mini guide.
It's a five minute pre-workoutritual.
(28:54):
There's five steps.
Each step takes about a minutethe first time.
You know the first couple oftimes that you do it and then
from there you can do it withyou know, just a few seconds to
get clear on what it is you'regoing to accomplish in the gym
that very day.
You do this before you get outonto the fitness floor.
You decide your top threeexercises that you're going to
(29:17):
complete and you make sure thatyou have a plan so that you
stick to it, and it doesn't haveto be a written down plan.
It doesn't have to be agorgeous workout routine to it
and it doesn't have to be awritten down plan.
It doesn't have to be agorgeous workout routine.
What I mean by a plan is thatyou mentally have a plan of what
you're going to do.
For example, you want to dopush or you want to do chest and
tries.
Okay, that's what I mean.
(29:38):
So if you're interested inchecking out my Instagram, send
me a text or downloading thatmini guide Instagram, send me a
text or downloading that miniguide.
The way to do all of that is inthe show notes.
I appreciate you being here.
I appreciate your time andattention, as always, and I'll
catch you on the next one.
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