August 28, 2025 • 31 mins
Birthday reflections often reveal our deepest truths, and my 47th trip around the sun sparked ten powerful insights that transformed how I view manifestation, relationships, and personal growth.
At 47, I attribute my energy and appearance to prioritizing daily physical activity, whether through structured exercise, dance, or playful movement. Stagnation accelerates deterioration, while consistent motion creates an unbreakable body that supports an unbreakable mind.
What life wisdom has changed your perspective? Share your thoughts and listen to the full episode for all ten insights plus a bonus reflection on the true fountain of youth.
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Website: unbreakablemindandbody.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
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Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
podcast.
I am your host, tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate, creative
storyteller and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, tiana, andtoday is my birthday.
Today is my 47th birthday, andwhat I say to some people, like
my clients, coworkers andfriends, is that I feel like I'm
just getting started and Icannot believe that 47 years has
(01:00):
passed, while simultaneouslysometimes feeling as if I'm 97,
because the beginning half, or Iwould even say the beginning
two thirds, of my lifeexperience has been jam packed
with a lot of stuff.
(01:20):
Now, while I say that, in theinteresting duality that
everything in life is two sidesof a coin and all the layers in
between, regardless of how thickor thin right, regardless of
the stick we're looking at andhow long it is the ends of it,
there are things that I haven'texperienced.
(01:41):
There are some things I'm notsure I'll ever experience, and
I've made peace with thosethings.
It's really okay, because Itrust that what is meant for me
will never miss, and I alsobelieve at this juncture, at
(02:02):
this stage of the game, if Ineed to coerce, force, twist
somebody's arm, manipulate, sellit, grasp, clutch, grip on
tightly, it's not meant for me.
So what I'd like to do withthis episode is offer you 10
(02:24):
things that have been top ofmind.
They are thoughts, they arethemes, they are things that
have recurred throughout thelast year.
Now, last year, on my 46thbirthday, I posted a photo on
Instagram with 46 truths, did aphoto on Instagram with 46
truths.
(02:44):
This year, instead of thinkingof 47 things, I thought of 10.
And there might be a bonus, butyou have to wait until the end
of this episode to hear meunlock them.
Now I will be creating a postwith these 10 things, but I'd
(03:04):
like to give you story behindeach one.
So, if you happen to follow meon Instagram, you can check the
show notes to see my Instagramhandle.
Please follow me.
And if you do, follow me, sendme a message and let me know
that you heard my voice first,and now you're putting a face
and a wild personality to thevoice.
So, the first thing and, by theway, these items are not in
(03:28):
order of importance.
This is just how it flowed.
Number one manifestation hasmore to do with embodiment and
nervous system regulation thanrepeating mantras, vision boards
and meditation, than repeatingmantras, vision boards and
(03:48):
meditation.
Let me say that one more timeManifestation has more to do
with embodiment and nervoussystem regulation than it does
with repeating mantras, writingthings out, vision boards and
meditation.
Now, am I saying that mantrasand journal prompts, vision
(04:09):
boards and meditation are nothelpful tools if you want to
manifest the life of your dreams?
Of course they are, but itdoesn't stop there.
And if you're mindlesslyrepeating something, if you're
mindlessly journaling the samewords, there's a method called
the 369 method and you keepwriting the same sentence over
and over and over.
Or maybe you have listened toJohn Proctor, or you've watched
(04:36):
some movies like the Secret, oryou listen to Abraham Hicks, and
maybe you've heard certainprompts like I am so happy and
grateful now that, and you fillin the blank.
So you're taking the thing youwant in the future and bringing
it into the present tense.
There are also folks who willsay I am and fill in the blank.
(04:58):
And they're filling in theblank with not their real 3D
current reality, but with thereality that they want to create
, summoning the things from thefuture into their current
existence.
Now you have to embody thosethings.
I think two episodes ago Italked about energy.
(05:19):
It's called the unhinged energyepisode and it's unhinged
because I was unhingedcompletely unscripted and
winging it off the cuff and yourgirl can talk.
And on that episode, we talkedabout embodying things, and what
do I mean by that?
Well, when you, let's say youwant to level up your lifestyle
(05:41):
okay, maybe you're similar to me.
Level up your lifestyle Okay,maybe you're similar to me.
You live in a studio apartmentcurrently and you would like to
one day own a five bedroommansion with a in-ground pool in
the backyard and a home gym anda four car garage, when every
car in there is a luxury car and, by the way, there is nothing
(06:02):
wrong with wanting nice things,all right.
So how do you get to that point?
How do you embody that Ifthat's not your current reality?
Well, you start to execute andmake decisions as if you are the
successful person who alreadyhas those things here's number
(06:22):
two.
Those things, here's number two.
We do not have to use our pastsuffering and trauma to identify
ourselves.
Now, this was a big one for me,and this came up a lot this
year, because many times youwill encounter someone who's in
therapy or someone who has donesome of their inner work, and
(06:45):
they repeat the lessons andthey're sharing what they're
learning with folks.
Or maybe they're currently intherapy and they are doing the
work and they're processing andthey can't seem to actually get
out of the processing mode, seemto actually get out of the
(07:09):
processing mode.
They can't identify themselveswithout pulling into the
description, what they haveovercome, how much shit that
they've been through, the drama,any traumas, any generational
curses, any abuse.
There are a lot of things, andwhen we always identify with our
pain, with our suffering, withthe past, it can keep you stuck
(07:37):
almost like a tornado.
It just keeps spinning aroundand around and around itself,
but it's not necessarily movingforward.
And so we want to maybe notalways bring up the tragedies
when we're talking to new people, when we're explaining who we
(08:01):
are.
There are ways to go about it.
Explaining who we are, thereare ways to go about it, and I
think it's important to navigatethose thoughts and come up with
ways to rebrand ourselves, tothink about ourselves in a
different light, and it startswith self.
I recently was having aconversation with someone and he
(08:23):
said you know, you've just beenthrough so much and I had to
stop the conversation and I said, first of all, whoa, you only
know a fraction of it.
And secondly, I've made peacewith a lot of those things.
I shared them with you inconfidence, but I shared them
with you in confidence.
But I'm not holding on to thatpain anymore.
(08:45):
I'm not wearing it like a badge.
I am not the winner of thetrauma Olympics.
Yes, I've been through a lot ofshit and no, most people won't
believe it.
If I ever told my full andcomplete story, they would be
fucking amazed that I am stillalive.
They would be fucking amazedthat I have made it as far as I
(09:05):
have, knowing some of the thingsthat I've been through, and
there are things that absolutelyno one knows.
Number three not everyone youlove as a friend feels that
mutual, friendly affection backtowards you.
Sometimes they are envious,monitoring spirits that keep
tabs but secretly towards you.
Sometimes they are envious,monitoring spirits that keep
(09:27):
tabs but secretly hate you.
This is a lesson that I learnedvery abruptly in 2024, and it
trickled over into 2025.
In 2024, I grew apart from twopeople who were very
longstanding friends andironically, they don't know each
(09:48):
other.
But I've had long runningrelationships with two of these
people and it was almostsimultaneously that I realized,
oh my God, they're not reallyinterested in seeing me win.
They're not really invested inthis relationship the way I have
been all this time.
(10:08):
In both instances I was the onewho always drove to see them.
I was the one who wasconstantly initiating plans, who
was reaching out, who wascalling, and I was the one who
was always getting breadcrumbs.
I was the one who was alwaysgetting the phone call when
(10:29):
they're running between Targetand TJ Maxx and Dunkin' Donuts
or Starbucks, and it was theconstant like hold on, a second,
I'm just running in to do this.
You know what?
I wasn't a priority as a friendfor those people, and then we
would go long periods of timewithout checking in with each
other.
And then I would get the phonecall like oh, I just want to
(10:52):
check in on you, I just want tomake sure everything's okay.
Yeah, I have time to listen now, and they would eagerly
anxiously await listening toevery fucking detail of what's
going on in my life, not becausethey're concerned, not because
they're going to offerassistance and not because
they're going to show upphysically or be there for me in
any sort of way, but becausethey just wanted to fucking know
(11:17):
my business and potentiallyjust kind of throw out negative
energy towards me.
You know the evil eye.
Now number four almost anythingcan be learned, trained,
developed and mastered if youreally want to learn it.
(11:39):
A skill, a thought, a way ofdoing something, a skill, a
thought, a way of doingsomething, almost anything can
be learned, trained anddeveloped.
I firmly believe that Now, isthere such a thing as a natural
talent and a natural gift?
Of course there is, and thatcould never be replicated.
(12:00):
There are prodigies, there aremusical geniuses, there are
creative connoisseurs who surethey've got a trained ear, eye,
sense of taste.
However, they're just outsidethe realm of normalcy because
(12:21):
they have just been born withthese gifts.
And at the same time, I alsobelieve pretty much anything can
be learned and you can get veryclose to a level of excellence.
Excellence why?
Because most people quit, mostpeople cannot play the long game
(12:42):
.
I'm a bodybuilder.
I started ballet when I was 15years old, which is old for a
dancer, and I skyrocketedthrough.
I learned all of the basics, Igot my turnout to look so much
better and I went through theprocess in class and moved
(13:08):
myself up to the front of theclass and then was leading
classes in a very short periodof time, which is unheard of.
Most ballerinas start dancingwhen they're in preschool and I
did not learn ballet until I was15.
So fucking epic LA until I was15.
(13:28):
So fucking epic.
Now, number five you will besent the same lesson, sometimes
in the form of different people,until you learn and act
appropriately, until you learnthe lesson.
And you learn the lesson whenyou change the way you respond
(13:51):
and how you behave.
I'm going to say that one againbecause it's good.
You will be sent the samelesson, sometimes in the form of
different people, and thiscould be over the course of
years, by the way.
And this could be over thecourse of years, by the way,
until you learn and actappropriately.
In my case, I dated several guysin my late twenties who all had
(14:19):
a lot of the same traits.
They were very different as faras age and background and where
they grew up, but there werepersonality traits that were
very, very similar from one tothe next to the next.
In my mid-20s, I was dating aman who was six, almost seven
(14:43):
years older than me, and thatbecame an abusive relationship
over time.
After him, I was single forabout a year, a year plus, and
then I dated someone who was sixyears younger than me, and so
that was like the swing of thependulum and it was a lot of fun
(15:04):
, but I wasn't being completelyfulfilled in a relationship
level.
I didn't have a partner in thatsituation.
I had a project, and thatperson is no longer with us.
He passed away in 2009.
And then the person after him Ithought was like the best thing
(15:26):
since sliced bread, but truly,what was going on there is that
he was the best thing I had tothat point in time, but the bar
was so fucking low and I didn'teven know, and so when that
ended, that's the relationshipthat I said to myself all right,
I need to make a change,because this one did these
(15:50):
things, this one did thesethings and this one did these
things.
And what's the commondenominator here?
Me.
So we're going to therapy again, and I put myself in therapy
and it was the best thing I everdid for myself.
Now, truth be told, of course,as I continued dating well into
(16:12):
my thirties and into my earlyforties, I did encounter people
who reminded me of some of theyoung men I dated in my twenties
.
However, I was smart enough nowto recognize the signs, to
understand the behaviors, to seethe patterns, to honor the red
flags that I felt within me andmaybe they're not red flags for
(16:34):
everyone else, but they were redflags for me.
And to say no, thank you, I'mnot interested, but bye now.
But I had to go through what Ihad to go through to get to this
point.
Remember I believe this formyself and for you that you do
the best you can with the toolsthat you have at the time and if
you're fucked up, well,hopefully you can learn from
(16:57):
those mistakes so you don't makethose mistakes again.
That's the whole fucking point.
That is literally the point ofthis entire podcast.
Every episode of this show isto learn from your mistakes and
be in a state of constantevolution, of growth, of making
(17:17):
yourself a better person.
Now, number six confirmationbias and social media can trap
you into linear, small-mindedthinking, which is simply not
true.
What do I mean by this?
Did you ever go to I don't evenwant to say an app, any app,
(17:41):
any of the social mediaplatforms and you start seeing
articles that align with yourviews?
It could be about anything.
It could be about how to makecookies that are crispy and dark
brown on the bottom, but notburnt and gooey, and have a
little bit of a rise in themiddle.
I mean, that's very specific,right, and you could then find
(18:06):
recipes and articles thatsupport your choices and say,
yep, that's the way to do it.
That's the only way to do it.
This is how we do it, and whatdo I sound like?
I sound like someone who's verysmall and closed-minded.
There is more than one way todo things, but if you believe
(18:30):
that that's the only way, youwill start to see posts from
your network, things beingshared from media platforms and
outlets that support yourbeliefs, and then that makes you
think that that is absolutetruth, when in fact it is not.
(18:51):
Number seven learning a newlanguage is easier than I
thought, so I am learningSpanish for the millionth time,
but this time it's actuallyworking because I am immersing
myself in Spanish every singleday.
Some days it's 15 minutes, somedays it's an hour, maybe two,
(19:15):
just depends on what I haveavailable and what the topic is.
I've been watching Spanishvideos and listening to Spanish
podcasts.
There are several platformsthat I'm into.
I absolutely love having thevariety.
There's one.
That is all.
The episodes are two nativeMexican speakers and they talk
(19:39):
about the way that differentdialects use different words,
but they mean the same thing.
Different words, but they meanthe same thing and they're very
funny.
Oh my God, their banter is sogood.
Then there is another platformthat has thousands of videos on
their website and on theirYouTube channel, and the podcast
(20:02):
is excellent.
And then I found a few others,and I have to tell you that just
listening and immersing myselfin what they call comprehensible
input is helping me become morebrave when I'm in a situation
where I can try speaking to anative Spanish speaker, or even
(20:23):
with somebody who is learning aswell.
And I will tell you, this hasbrought me more connection,
because I have encounteredpeople on social media who are
in the same boat as me,including one person who has a
Spanish last name, just like Ido, and he did not grow up
bilingual and now he's changingthat and he's in his 40s and he
(20:44):
has big dreams of potentiallymoving to go to Spain and really
immerse himself, and I thinkthat's fucking awesome.
So if you want to learn a newlanguage, immersion is the best
way to go, and you can easily dothat with YouTube.
Start there.
Now here's number eight Peoplecan only meet you as deeply as
(21:09):
they have met themselves, whichmight explain why those who have
done some inner work, are bored, uninspired and not motivated
by their 3D reality.
So if you've done any therapy,if you've done shadow work, if
you are currently doing it andyou're working on making
(21:32):
yourself the best versionpossible, then you may find that
your current state of the stateisn't doing it for you anymore.
You might find your work boring.
You might find your coworkersare immature.
Now, because you've done a lotof work on yourself, your
perspective is different, and sonow you need to re-examine all
(21:56):
of the connections and therelationships that you have in
your life, because you need tobe in a room with people that
are pushing you to continue toexpand and to grow, that are
pushing you to continue toexpand and to grow.
It's kind of like if you goaway to college and then you
come home and you are meeting upwith your friends from high
school and you have nothing incommon with them anymore.
(22:18):
You don't know what to talkabout or the things that used to
light you guys up and was thecollective energy is no longer
there, because growth happensfor everyone at different rates
and different magnitudes.
So when you're dealing with orworking with people that you
once cared about deeply, it'snot uncommon that maybe you've
(22:42):
outgrown them or they'veoutgrown you.
Now here's number nine thegreatest gift that you can give
your loved ones is to go totherapy.
It is a bold statement and itsends ripples out to the world
that you desire being better.
Your children deserve a betterfuture than anything that would
(23:08):
resemble what you had growing up.
And I say the word better andhow you define it is up to you,
because it does not necessarilymean a bigger house, more toys,
fancier clothes, a nicer carwhen they get their license.
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
What I'm talking about is theemotional depth, it's the
emotional connections, it's thequality of the bonds that you
(23:32):
have created with them, and itis the ability to have difficult
and uncomfortable conversationsand to work through those
things, resolve them, makechanges where necessary and
proceed forward.
That's what I'm talking about,and proceed forward.
That's what I'm talking about.
Both of my parents are goodpeople, but they have a lot of
(23:58):
trauma and a lot of shit, andwhen I was very little, they
were also significantly younger,and it makes sense.
They were still growing anddidn't know what the fuck they
were doing.
They did the best that theycould, and I truly believe that.
But my parents fought a lot.
There was always yelling andscreaming and fighting and
somebody slamming a door andsomebody punching a table, and
it just became a very unsettlingenvironment.
(24:20):
And that's also part of why Idecided to go into therapy,
because I knew I don't want thatanymore decided to go into
therapy because I knew I don'twant that anymore.
I've worked diligently tocreate a peaceful home, and sure
it's peaceful now because Idon't have kids, so there's no
kids that I need to disciplineat the moment, but maybe I'll be
(24:43):
a step-mom someday and I wantto be sure that I'm a better
version of myself than I wouldhave been had I not done that
work.
Because where I come from, itis common to yell and scream and
sometimes slam your hand on thetable or punch a wall, and
(25:04):
quite frankly, that'sunacceptable.
When you yell or raise yourvoice, or if you lie or if you
throw a tantrum, what it meansis you do not know how to
regulate your emotions.
If you start screaming off thehandle, yelling and cursing,
especially around children, youdon't know how to control
yourself and you are creating ahostile environment for a very
(25:27):
small, gentle, impressionablespirit, and now you're
traumatizing your own kids.
Number 10, I believe that thepower of true, vulnerable, heart
aching love can heal a lot ofthe gaps that may be seen in the
world through our differences.
(25:48):
It is very difficult to hold onto some relationships when
people's views on things aredrastically different, when
we're being divided in so manyareas of our life.
I just saw a video today of ayoung man commenting on how a
(26:13):
large retail store is removingall of their prices from their
tags that hang on articles ofclothing and you have to
download the app, scan thebarcode and then get the price.
And on the principle alone it'sjust wrong, because basically
what the store is saying is ifyou don't have a phone and you
(26:35):
can't download the app, then youdon't get to know how much the
item is and it could potentiallylead to big problems in the
future.
Now, some people are notagreeing with this person.
I happen to agree, and it's aproblem, but maybe if we had a
more gentle and loving stance orcame from a more vulnerable
(27:00):
place, we could be moreunderstanding of others that
maybe don't have what we have,or maybe they don't have a phone
, or maybe that's the best thatthey can do right now, and maybe
(27:22):
we could be a little bit morecompassionate towards one
another and bridge those gaps.
Now here's your bonus pointGetting down into your body
through movement, through breathwork, through things like
dancing and play.
This is the gateway to thefountain of youth.
I believe if you prioritizemovement, you will notice your
(27:53):
life and the energy shifting.
I certainly don't look like I'min my twenties, but I also know
that I don't look 47.
And I attribute that to keepingmyself happy, keeping my body
in motion.
I move every single day.
I've been encouraging everyonein my family, including my
grandmother, to get up and move,even if it's just a little
movement around the apartment.
(28:14):
But moving your body is thesecret sauce.
Sitting in stagnation for longperiods of time doing nothing,
you're going to rot and you candeteriorate very quickly.
I see it happen all the time.
Folks retire and they stopmoving.
(28:37):
They don't go out for walksanymore, they don't go to do
exercise, they're just kind oflounging around and yeah,
they're retired, they deserve it.
However, they fall apart andthey fall apart quickly, fall
apart and they fall apartquickly.
So those are my 10 plus onethoughts, themes, things that
(29:07):
have come up a lot over the pastyear of my life.
I'm going to run through themagain really quickly.
Number one manifestation hasmore to do with embodiment and
nervous system regulation thanrepeating mantras using a vision
board and meditation.
Number two we do not have touse our past suffering and
traumas to identify ourselves.
Number three not everyone youlove as a friend feels that
mutual, friendly affection backtowards you.
(29:29):
Sometimes they are envious,monitoring spirits that keep
tabs but secretly hate you.
Number four almost anything canbe learned, trained, developed
and mastered if you really wantto learn it.
Number five you will be sentthe same lesson, sometimes in
(29:49):
the form of different people,until you learn and act
appropriately.
Different people until youlearn and act appropriately.
Number six confirmation biasand social media can trap you
into linear, small-mindedthinking, which is simply not
true.
Number seven learning a newlanguage is easier than I
thought.
Number eight people can onlymeet you as deeply as they have
(30:11):
met themselves, which mightexplain why those who have done
some inner work are bored,uninspired and not motivated by
their 3D reality.
Number nine the greatest giftyou can give your loved ones is
to go to therapy.
It is a bold statement and itsends ripples out to the world
that you desire to be better.
(30:41):
Number 10, I believe that thepower of true, vulnerable heart
aching love can heal a lot ofthe gaps that may seem to be
widening our differences.
And number 11, the bonus point.
The big takeaway is thatgetting down into your body
through movement, breath work,things like dancing and playing,
(31:03):
is the gateway to the fountainof youth.
If you prioritize movement, youwill notice your life shifting
for the better.
I really hope you enjoyed thisbonus episode.
Thank you for celebrating mybirthday with me.
Thank you for being here inthis cozy little moment with me.
This is our time and I love itand I appreciate you being here.
(31:28):
I appreciate your time andattention and, as always, I'll
catch you on the next one.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
podcast.
I am your host, tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate, creative
storyteller and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, tiana, andtoday is my birthday.
Today is my 47th birthday, andwhat I say to some people, like
my clients, coworkers andfriends, is that I feel like I'm
just getting started and Icannot believe that 47 years has
(01:00):
passed, while simultaneouslysometimes feeling as if I'm 97,
because the beginning half, or Iwould even say the beginning
two thirds, of my lifeexperience has been jam packed
with a lot of stuff.
(01:20):
Now, while I say that, in theinteresting duality that
everything in life is two sidesof a coin and all the layers in
between, regardless of how thickor thin right, regardless of
the stick we're looking at andhow long it is the ends of it,
there are things that I haven'texperienced.
(01:41):
There are some things I'm notsure I'll ever experience, and
I've made peace with thosethings.
It's really okay, because Itrust that what is meant for me
will never miss, and I alsobelieve at this juncture, at
(02:02):
this stage of the game, if Ineed to coerce, force, twist
somebody's arm, manipulate, sellit, grasp, clutch, grip on
tightly, it's not meant for me.
So what I'd like to do withthis episode is offer you 10
(02:24):
things that have been top ofmind.
They are thoughts, they arethemes, they are things that
have recurred throughout thelast year.
Now, last year, on my 46thbirthday, I posted a photo on
Instagram with 46 truths, did aphoto on Instagram with 46
truths.
(02:44):
This year, instead of thinkingof 47 things, I thought of 10.
And there might be a bonus, butyou have to wait until the end
of this episode to hear meunlock them.
Now I will be creating a postwith these 10 things, but I'd
(03:04):
like to give you story behindeach one.
So, if you happen to follow meon Instagram, you can check the
show notes to see my Instagramhandle.
Please follow me.
And if you do, follow me, sendme a message and let me know
that you heard my voice first,and now you're putting a face
and a wild personality to thevoice.
So, the first thing and, by theway, these items are not in
(03:28):
order of importance.
This is just how it flowed.
Number one manifestation hasmore to do with embodiment and
nervous system regulation thanrepeating mantras, vision boards
and meditation, than repeatingmantras, vision boards and
(03:48):
meditation.
Let me say that one more timeManifestation has more to do
with embodiment and nervoussystem regulation than it does
with repeating mantras, writingthings out, vision boards and
meditation.
Now, am I saying that mantrasand journal prompts, vision
(04:09):
boards and meditation are nothelpful tools if you want to
manifest the life of your dreams?
Of course they are, but itdoesn't stop there.
And if you're mindlesslyrepeating something, if you're
mindlessly journaling the samewords, there's a method called
the 369 method and you keepwriting the same sentence over
and over and over.
Or maybe you have listened toJohn Proctor, or you've watched
(04:36):
some movies like the Secret, oryou listen to Abraham Hicks, and
maybe you've heard certainprompts like I am so happy and
grateful now that, and you fillin the blank.
So you're taking the thing youwant in the future and bringing
it into the present tense.
There are also folks who willsay I am and fill in the blank.
(04:58):
And they're filling in theblank with not their real 3D
current reality, but with thereality that they want to create
, summoning the things from thefuture into their current
existence.
Now you have to embody thosethings.
I think two episodes ago Italked about energy.
(05:19):
It's called the unhinged energyepisode and it's unhinged
because I was unhingedcompletely unscripted and
winging it off the cuff and yourgirl can talk.
And on that episode, we talkedabout embodying things, and what
do I mean by that?
Well, when you, let's say youwant to level up your lifestyle
(05:41):
okay, maybe you're similar to me.
Level up your lifestyle Okay,maybe you're similar to me.
You live in a studio apartmentcurrently and you would like to
one day own a five bedroommansion with a in-ground pool in
the backyard and a home gym anda four car garage, when every
car in there is a luxury car and, by the way, there is nothing
(06:02):
wrong with wanting nice things,all right.
So how do you get to that point?
How do you embody that Ifthat's not your current reality?
Well, you start to execute andmake decisions as if you are the
successful person who alreadyhas those things here's number
(06:22):
two.
Those things, here's number two.
We do not have to use our pastsuffering and trauma to identify
ourselves.
Now, this was a big one for me,and this came up a lot this
year, because many times youwill encounter someone who's in
therapy or someone who has donesome of their inner work, and
(06:45):
they repeat the lessons andthey're sharing what they're
learning with folks.
Or maybe they're currently intherapy and they are doing the
work and they're processing andthey can't seem to actually get
out of the processing mode, seemto actually get out of the
(07:09):
processing mode.
They can't identify themselveswithout pulling into the
description, what they haveovercome, how much shit that
they've been through, the drama,any traumas, any generational
curses, any abuse.
There are a lot of things, andwhen we always identify with our
pain, with our suffering, withthe past, it can keep you stuck
(07:37):
almost like a tornado.
It just keeps spinning aroundand around and around itself,
but it's not necessarily movingforward.
And so we want to maybe notalways bring up the tragedies
when we're talking to new people, when we're explaining who we
(08:01):
are.
There are ways to go about it.
Explaining who we are, thereare ways to go about it, and I
think it's important to navigatethose thoughts and come up with
ways to rebrand ourselves, tothink about ourselves in a
different light, and it startswith self.
I recently was having aconversation with someone and he
(08:23):
said you know, you've just beenthrough so much and I had to
stop the conversation and I said, first of all, whoa, you only
know a fraction of it.
And secondly, I've made peacewith a lot of those things.
I shared them with you inconfidence, but I shared them
with you in confidence.
But I'm not holding on to thatpain anymore.
(08:45):
I'm not wearing it like a badge.
I am not the winner of thetrauma Olympics.
Yes, I've been through a lot ofshit and no, most people won't
believe it.
If I ever told my full andcomplete story, they would be
fucking amazed that I am stillalive.
They would be fucking amazedthat I have made it as far as I
(09:05):
have, knowing some of the thingsthat I've been through, and
there are things that absolutelyno one knows.
Number three not everyone youlove as a friend feels that
mutual, friendly affection backtowards you.
Sometimes they are envious,monitoring spirits that keep
tabs but secretly towards you.
Sometimes they are envious,monitoring spirits that keep
(09:27):
tabs but secretly hate you.
This is a lesson that I learnedvery abruptly in 2024, and it
trickled over into 2025.
In 2024, I grew apart from twopeople who were very
longstanding friends andironically, they don't know each
(09:48):
other.
But I've had long runningrelationships with two of these
people and it was almostsimultaneously that I realized,
oh my God, they're not reallyinterested in seeing me win.
They're not really invested inthis relationship the way I have
been all this time.
(10:08):
In both instances I was the onewho always drove to see them.
I was the one who wasconstantly initiating plans, who
was reaching out, who wascalling, and I was the one who
was always getting breadcrumbs.
I was the one who was alwaysgetting the phone call when
(10:29):
they're running between Targetand TJ Maxx and Dunkin' Donuts
or Starbucks, and it was theconstant like hold on, a second,
I'm just running in to do this.
You know what?
I wasn't a priority as a friendfor those people, and then we
would go long periods of timewithout checking in with each
other.
And then I would get the phonecall like oh, I just want to
(10:52):
check in on you, I just want tomake sure everything's okay.
Yeah, I have time to listen now, and they would eagerly
anxiously await listening toevery fucking detail of what's
going on in my life, not becausethey're concerned, not because
they're going to offerassistance and not because
they're going to show upphysically or be there for me in
any sort of way, but becausethey just wanted to fucking know
(11:17):
my business and potentiallyjust kind of throw out negative
energy towards me.
You know the evil eye.
Now number four almost anythingcan be learned, trained,
developed and mastered if youreally want to learn it.
(11:39):
A skill, a thought, a way ofdoing something, a skill, a
thought, a way of doingsomething, almost anything can
be learned, trained anddeveloped.
I firmly believe that Now, isthere such a thing as a natural
talent and a natural gift?
Of course there is, and thatcould never be replicated.
(12:00):
There are prodigies, there aremusical geniuses, there are
creative connoisseurs who surethey've got a trained ear, eye,
sense of taste.
However, they're just outsidethe realm of normalcy because
(12:21):
they have just been born withthese gifts.
And at the same time, I alsobelieve pretty much anything can
be learned and you can get veryclose to a level of excellence.
Excellence why?
Because most people quit, mostpeople cannot play the long game
(12:42):
.
I'm a bodybuilder.
I started ballet when I was 15years old, which is old for a
dancer, and I skyrocketedthrough.
I learned all of the basics, Igot my turnout to look so much
better and I went through theprocess in class and moved
(13:08):
myself up to the front of theclass and then was leading
classes in a very short periodof time, which is unheard of.
Most ballerinas start dancingwhen they're in preschool and I
did not learn ballet until I was15.
So fucking epic LA until I was15.
(13:28):
So fucking epic.
Now, number five you will besent the same lesson, sometimes
in the form of different people,until you learn and act
appropriately, until you learnthe lesson.
And you learn the lesson whenyou change the way you respond
(13:51):
and how you behave.
I'm going to say that one againbecause it's good.
You will be sent the samelesson, sometimes in the form of
different people, and thiscould be over the course of
years, by the way.
And this could be over thecourse of years, by the way,
until you learn and actappropriately.
In my case, I dated several guysin my late twenties who all had
(14:19):
a lot of the same traits.
They were very different as faras age and background and where
they grew up, but there werepersonality traits that were
very, very similar from one tothe next to the next.
In my mid-20s, I was dating aman who was six, almost seven
(14:43):
years older than me, and thatbecame an abusive relationship
over time.
After him, I was single forabout a year, a year plus, and
then I dated someone who was sixyears younger than me, and so
that was like the swing of thependulum and it was a lot of fun
(15:04):
, but I wasn't being completelyfulfilled in a relationship
level.
I didn't have a partner in thatsituation.
I had a project, and thatperson is no longer with us.
He passed away in 2009.
And then the person after him Ithought was like the best thing
(15:26):
since sliced bread, but truly,what was going on there is that
he was the best thing I had tothat point in time, but the bar
was so fucking low and I didn'teven know, and so when that
ended, that's the relationshipthat I said to myself all right,
I need to make a change,because this one did these
(15:50):
things, this one did thesethings and this one did these
things.
And what's the commondenominator here?
Me.
So we're going to therapy again, and I put myself in therapy
and it was the best thing I everdid for myself.
Now, truth be told, of course,as I continued dating well into
(16:12):
my thirties and into my earlyforties, I did encounter people
who reminded me of some of theyoung men I dated in my twenties
.
However, I was smart enough nowto recognize the signs, to
understand the behaviors, to seethe patterns, to honor the red
flags that I felt within me andmaybe they're not red flags for
(16:34):
everyone else, but they were redflags for me.
And to say no, thank you, I'mnot interested, but bye now.
But I had to go through what Ihad to go through to get to this
point.
Remember I believe this formyself and for you that you do
the best you can with the toolsthat you have at the time and if
you're fucked up, well,hopefully you can learn from
(16:57):
those mistakes so you don't makethose mistakes again.
That's the whole fucking point.
That is literally the point ofthis entire podcast.
Every episode of this show isto learn from your mistakes and
be in a state of constantevolution, of growth, of making
(17:17):
yourself a better person.
Now, number six confirmationbias and social media can trap
you into linear, small-mindedthinking, which is simply not
true.
What do I mean by this?
Did you ever go to I don't evenwant to say an app, any app,
(17:41):
any of the social mediaplatforms and you start seeing
articles that align with yourviews?
It could be about anything.
It could be about how to makecookies that are crispy and dark
brown on the bottom, but notburnt and gooey, and have a
little bit of a rise in themiddle.
I mean, that's very specific,right, and you could then find
(18:06):
recipes and articles thatsupport your choices and say,
yep, that's the way to do it.
That's the only way to do it.
This is how we do it, and whatdo I sound like?
I sound like someone who's verysmall and closed-minded.
There is more than one way todo things, but if you believe
(18:30):
that that's the only way, youwill start to see posts from
your network, things beingshared from media platforms and
outlets that support yourbeliefs, and then that makes you
think that that is absolutetruth, when in fact it is not.
(18:51):
Number seven learning a newlanguage is easier than I
thought, so I am learningSpanish for the millionth time,
but this time it's actuallyworking because I am immersing
myself in Spanish every singleday.
Some days it's 15 minutes, somedays it's an hour, maybe two,
(19:15):
just depends on what I haveavailable and what the topic is.
I've been watching Spanishvideos and listening to Spanish
podcasts.
There are several platformsthat I'm into.
I absolutely love having thevariety.
There's one.
That is all.
The episodes are two nativeMexican speakers and they talk
(19:39):
about the way that differentdialects use different words,
but they mean the same thing.
Different words, but they meanthe same thing and they're very
funny.
Oh my God, their banter is sogood.
Then there is another platformthat has thousands of videos on
their website and on theirYouTube channel, and the podcast
(20:02):
is excellent.
And then I found a few others,and I have to tell you that just
listening and immersing myselfin what they call comprehensible
input is helping me become morebrave when I'm in a situation
where I can try speaking to anative Spanish speaker, or even
(20:23):
with somebody who is learning aswell.
And I will tell you, this hasbrought me more connection,
because I have encounteredpeople on social media who are
in the same boat as me,including one person who has a
Spanish last name, just like Ido, and he did not grow up
bilingual and now he's changingthat and he's in his 40s and he
(20:44):
has big dreams of potentiallymoving to go to Spain and really
immerse himself, and I thinkthat's fucking awesome.
So if you want to learn a newlanguage, immersion is the best
way to go, and you can easily dothat with YouTube.
Start there.
Now here's number eight Peoplecan only meet you as deeply as
(21:09):
they have met themselves, whichmight explain why those who have
done some inner work, are bored, uninspired and not motivated
by their 3D reality.
So if you've done any therapy,if you've done shadow work, if
you are currently doing it andyou're working on making
(21:32):
yourself the best versionpossible, then you may find that
your current state of the stateisn't doing it for you anymore.
You might find your work boring.
You might find your coworkersare immature.
Now, because you've done a lotof work on yourself, your
perspective is different, and sonow you need to re-examine all
(21:56):
of the connections and therelationships that you have in
your life, because you need tobe in a room with people that
are pushing you to continue toexpand and to grow, that are
pushing you to continue toexpand and to grow.
It's kind of like if you goaway to college and then you
come home and you are meeting upwith your friends from high
school and you have nothing incommon with them anymore.
(22:18):
You don't know what to talkabout or the things that used to
light you guys up and was thecollective energy is no longer
there, because growth happensfor everyone at different rates
and different magnitudes.
So when you're dealing with orworking with people that you
once cared about deeply, it'snot uncommon that maybe you've
(22:42):
outgrown them or they'veoutgrown you.
Now here's number nine thegreatest gift that you can give
your loved ones is to go totherapy.
It is a bold statement and itsends ripples out to the world
that you desire being better.
Your children deserve a betterfuture than anything that would
(23:08):
resemble what you had growing up.
And I say the word better andhow you define it is up to you,
because it does not necessarilymean a bigger house, more toys,
fancier clothes, a nicer carwhen they get their license.
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
What I'm talking about is theemotional depth, it's the
emotional connections, it's thequality of the bonds that you
(23:32):
have created with them, and itis the ability to have difficult
and uncomfortable conversationsand to work through those
things, resolve them, makechanges where necessary and
proceed forward.
That's what I'm talking about,and proceed forward.
That's what I'm talking about.
Both of my parents are goodpeople, but they have a lot of
(23:58):
trauma and a lot of shit, andwhen I was very little, they
were also significantly younger,and it makes sense.
They were still growing anddidn't know what the fuck they
were doing.
They did the best that theycould, and I truly believe that.
But my parents fought a lot.
There was always yelling andscreaming and fighting and
somebody slamming a door andsomebody punching a table, and
it just became a very unsettlingenvironment.
(24:20):
And that's also part of why Idecided to go into therapy,
because I knew I don't want thatanymore decided to go into
therapy because I knew I don'twant that anymore.
I've worked diligently tocreate a peaceful home, and sure
it's peaceful now because Idon't have kids, so there's no
kids that I need to disciplineat the moment, but maybe I'll be
(24:43):
a step-mom someday and I wantto be sure that I'm a better
version of myself than I wouldhave been had I not done that
work.
Because where I come from, itis common to yell and scream and
sometimes slam your hand on thetable or punch a wall, and
(25:04):
quite frankly, that'sunacceptable.
When you yell or raise yourvoice, or if you lie or if you
throw a tantrum, what it meansis you do not know how to
regulate your emotions.
If you start screaming off thehandle, yelling and cursing,
especially around children, youdon't know how to control
yourself and you are creating ahostile environment for a very
(25:27):
small, gentle, impressionablespirit, and now you're
traumatizing your own kids.
Number 10, I believe that thepower of true, vulnerable, heart
aching love can heal a lot ofthe gaps that may be seen in the
world through our differences.
(25:48):
It is very difficult to hold onto some relationships when
people's views on things aredrastically different, when
we're being divided in so manyareas of our life.
I just saw a video today of ayoung man commenting on how a
(26:13):
large retail store is removingall of their prices from their
tags that hang on articles ofclothing and you have to
download the app, scan thebarcode and then get the price.
And on the principle alone it'sjust wrong, because basically
what the store is saying is ifyou don't have a phone and you
(26:35):
can't download the app, then youdon't get to know how much the
item is and it could potentiallylead to big problems in the
future.
Now, some people are notagreeing with this person.
I happen to agree, and it's aproblem, but maybe if we had a
more gentle and loving stance orcame from a more vulnerable
(27:00):
place, we could be moreunderstanding of others that
maybe don't have what we have,or maybe they don't have a phone
, or maybe that's the best thatthey can do right now, and maybe
(27:22):
we could be a little bit morecompassionate towards one
another and bridge those gaps.
Now here's your bonus pointGetting down into your body
through movement, through breathwork, through things like
dancing and play.
This is the gateway to thefountain of youth.
I believe if you prioritizemovement, you will notice your
(27:53):
life and the energy shifting.
I certainly don't look like I'min my twenties, but I also know
that I don't look 47.
And I attribute that to keepingmyself happy, keeping my body
in motion.
I move every single day.
I've been encouraging everyonein my family, including my
grandmother, to get up and move,even if it's just a little
movement around the apartment.
(28:14):
But moving your body is thesecret sauce.
Sitting in stagnation for longperiods of time doing nothing,
you're going to rot and you candeteriorate very quickly.
I see it happen all the time.
Folks retire and they stopmoving.
(28:37):
They don't go out for walksanymore, they don't go to do
exercise, they're just kind oflounging around and yeah,
they're retired, they deserve it.
However, they fall apart andthey fall apart quickly, fall
apart and they fall apartquickly.
So those are my 10 plus onethoughts, themes, things that
(29:07):
have come up a lot over the pastyear of my life.
I'm going to run through themagain really quickly.
Number one manifestation hasmore to do with embodiment and
nervous system regulation thanrepeating mantras using a vision
board and meditation.
Number two we do not have touse our past suffering and
traumas to identify ourselves.
Number three not everyone youlove as a friend feels that
mutual, friendly affection backtowards you.
(29:29):
Sometimes they are envious,monitoring spirits that keep
tabs but secretly hate you.
Number four almost anything canbe learned, trained, developed
and mastered if you really wantto learn it.
Number five you will be sentthe same lesson, sometimes in
(29:49):
the form of different people,until you learn and act
appropriately.
Different people until youlearn and act appropriately.
Number six confirmation biasand social media can trap you
into linear, small-mindedthinking, which is simply not
true.
Number seven learning a newlanguage is easier than I
thought.
Number eight people can onlymeet you as deeply as they have
(30:11):
met themselves, which mightexplain why those who have done
some inner work are bored,uninspired and not motivated by
their 3D reality.
Number nine the greatest giftyou can give your loved ones is
to go to therapy.
It is a bold statement and itsends ripples out to the world
that you desire to be better.
(30:41):
Number 10, I believe that thepower of true, vulnerable heart
aching love can heal a lot ofthe gaps that may seem to be
widening our differences.
And number 11, the bonus point.
The big takeaway is thatgetting down into your body
through movement, breath work,things like dancing and playing,
(31:03):
is the gateway to the fountainof youth.
If you prioritize movement, youwill notice your life shifting
for the better.
I really hope you enjoyed thisbonus episode.
Thank you for celebrating mybirthday with me.
Thank you for being here inthis cozy little moment with me.
This is our time and I love itand I appreciate you being here.
(31:28):
I appreciate your time andattention and, as always, I'll
catch you on the next one.
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