40. Tranquilidad: Building Your Foundation of Inner Peace

Peace doesn't happen by accident. It's cultivated through intentional choices, firm boundaries, and consistent practice – something I've learned through years of personal development and therapy.

In this intimate episode, I reveal why "tranquilidad" (Spanish for tranquility) has become my personal mandate and non-negotiable requirement. Growing up in a family full of passion, drama, and intense emotions taught me valuable lessons about what I wanted – and didn't want – in my adult life. While I can't control my past or change where I come from, I've discovered the transformative power of controlling my responses and creating an environment that nurtures peace.

Whether you're struggling with family patterns, difficult relationships, or your own emotional regulation, this episode offers compassionate guidance for finding your center in a chaotic world. 

Take these insights with you as you start your week, and remember that each small step toward peace builds your capacity for lasting tranquility. 

If you found value in today's conversation, please take a moment to rate and review the show – your support helps others discover these tools for building an unbreakable mind and body.

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Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
podcast.
I am your host, tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate, creative
storyteller and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate

(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Welcome back to the show.
This is episode 40.
I'm your host, tiana, and I amso excited for you to be here
Now.
Today's episode is probablygoing to be a little bit shorter
than some of the more recentepisodes.
In full transparency, I'm notexactly feeling 100% at my best.

(01:03):
I'm in a little bit of arecovery mode right now.
But, as I have committed to thecreative process, to connecting
with you and to keep showing up, consistency is always key, and
I want to be here for you andgive you just a little nugget,

(01:26):
something that you can listen toand process on your Monday
morning before you start yourweek.
Now, the topic of today's showis tranquility or peace, and in
Spanish we say tranquilidad, andthat has become one of my power
words, one of my token words,one of the most potent, powerful

(01:54):
ideologies, principles,interests, desires that I have
cultivated for myself, and ithas become a mandate and
requirement in my life, in thecurrent and also in the future.
Now, you might have heard inprevious episodes of this show

(02:16):
that I have done a lot of workon myself.
I've been in and out of therapymost of my life, starting at
the tender age of eight yearsold, and I've come to realize
that we cannot control where wecome from, we cannot control our
past, we cannot change it andwe cannot control the things

(02:40):
that trigger us or bother us.
But we do have control over howwe respond and react.
And as I have grown into myadult life and done more work on
myself and done a shitload ofhealing to become a better

(03:02):
version of myself, to thereforebecome a better version of
myself for the world, for mylocal community, for my network,
my clients, my friends, myfamily and also for the
strangers that I cross pathswith every single day,
tranquilidad is really theanchor, it's the core, it's the

(03:28):
foundation, because without it Ifeel like I'm a loose cannon.
Now I come from a family of verypassionate, a very passionate,
wild enthusiastic lovers.

(03:49):
Both my mom and my dad bothsides of the family are just
enamored with music and passion.
There's a lot of fire, there'sdrama, there's fighting, and
sometimes that intensity justgoes a little too far for where
I'm comfortable living and beingand breathing right now.

(04:12):
And that's okay, because I'mnot trying to change anyone, I'm
not trying to change my family.
What I would like to do is stayanchored and rooted and
grounded in what I would like todo is stay anchored and rooted
and grounded in what I need,desire and require to live a

(04:32):
peaceful life.
I've been spending time withsomeone who has had some
tumultuous times in their life,and when they talk to me,
they'll tell me I always feelbetter after I speak to you.
You are centered, you aregrounded, you are so calm.

(04:56):
But I couldn't be any of thosethings especially for this other
person if I didn't also see andrecognize the patterns, the
behaviors, the chaos, theturmoil, the strife, the

(05:17):
desperation at times in the waythat this person feels when
they're stuck in certainconversations with people or
when they're trying to makedecisions that are in the best
interest of their closest lovedones best interest of their

(05:37):
closest loved ones and then theyturn to me, and so it's really
important, and I think it'simportant for all of us to
figure out what it is that weneed to feel our best and,
little by little, start to peelaway the layers, start to chip
away and begin to say no to thethings that no longer serve us

(05:58):
and begin saying yes to more ofthe things that do.
I've nicknamed 2025 the year ofyes, and one of my dear friends
, she knows who she is.
She's probably listening.
She also has done that.
She went through a really toughbreakup this year and it's been

(06:22):
hard for her.
She's significantly youngerthan me.
We talk when we see each otherand I just listen, and she
shared with me that this was theyear of yes, that she was going
to accept more invites than not, that she was going to try new
things and she was going to getherself out there into the world
, not necessarily on dating appsor by meeting people in bars

(06:47):
and clubs to date them, butsimply to experience life.
And when you're doing somethinglike that, it is really
important again to rememberwhere your roots are, to make
sure that you feel firmlyplanted, to know that even in
the midst of chaos and swirlingwinds around you and swirling

(07:18):
winds around you that you arerooted and grounded and you are
solid and that you have your ownback.
But in order for you to get tothat point, you probably have to
go through some shit.
So, coming from a family wherethere was a lot of arguing and
fighting sometimes there wassome hitting it took a lot of

(07:40):
effort to get to the point whereI'm at now, to get to the point
where I no longer acceptcertain behaviors.
I will not entertainconversation with people who
raise their voice at me.
I am not going to navigate asituation with someone who is

(08:01):
pounding their fist on the table, slamming doors, breaking
things, just getting very firedup because it's not necessary.
Emotional regulation isparamount, and if you are
dealing with somebody who cannotregulate their emotions, they

(08:22):
are immature, they are actingchildish and they are not facing
their own demons and doing thework that they need to do.
So how do you navigate that?
Well, you try to be as calm asyou can possibly be.
You don't want to give in,because that's literally what
this person is looking for.

(08:43):
They are trying to provoke you,they are trying to get a rise
out of you, they want to makeyou angry, they're looking for a
fight and you simply cannot dothat.
I have a client.
He's a single dad, verysuccessful business owner, and

(09:03):
he's going through some shitwith his daughter's mother and
they're fighting in court, andhe has shared some things with
me that really show me howtested he is with the ex's
behavior, with the way that shespeaks to him, with involving

(09:29):
her new partner into the mix,into the conversation, who has
nothing to do with any of theconversations surrounding
raising the daughter.
So it's a tough situation forhim and I remind him every time
we train, no matter what you do,you must not give in to the

(09:51):
temptation to lose your shit,because they're waiting for that
, they are hoping for it,they've got the camera ready for
it, they're anticipating it,they're looking for it, they're
provoking you, scratching you,poking you, just trying to chip
away to see when will you break.

(10:11):
And the most important thingthat you can do in that moment
is never break.
So tranquility, or, as I saidin Spanish, tranquilidad.
I love it.
And how would I define it for me?
Well, first of all, my phonetypically is on, do not disturb

(10:35):
most of the day, but definitelyin the afternoon and evening
when I'm home, which means I'mnot being pinged or alerted.
An evening, when I'm home,which means I'm not being pinged
or alerted I look at it when Iwant to look at it.
I'm not being interrupted withnotifications and or calls and
I'm allowing my brain to relax,I'm allowing myself to do things

(10:59):
around my home.
Maybe I'm doing a puzzle, maybeI'm painting, maybe I'm
recording an episode of the show, maybe I'm doing a puzzle.
Maybe I'm painting, maybe I'mrecording an episode of the show
, maybe I'm cooking, cleaning,washing the dishes, folding my
clothes, reading a book,watching a show.
That's something I do too, andit's nice to do that without
having notifications pop up onyour phone.
The beautiful part about all ofthis is that you get to decide

(11:23):
what you want your peacefulenvironment to be, what you want
that to look like.
For some people, if you tellthem put your phone on, do not
disturb.
The amount of anxiety they getfrom possibly missing something
important is way too much of arisk and that's actually not
beneficial for them is way toomuch of a risk and that's

(11:45):
actually not beneficial for them.
And I wouldn't recommend goingcold turkey if it's not
something you've ever triedbefore.
But you could start slow, youcan do a short time interval,
you could set a timer for whenyou're going to just put your
phone down for the evening.
But, more importantly than yourexternal environment,

(12:07):
tranquilidad is gonna stem frominside of who you are.
Do you feel calm and rooted?
Do you easily jump when youfeel triggered or scream or honk
the horn or get road rage?
Don't get it twisted.
I get road rage sometimes too.

(12:28):
I'm not perfect human being overhere, but it's really about
cultivating the environment thatyou want to be in and create
for yourself and for thoseclosest to you.
And it's going to take a littletrial and error, but I promise
you, when you start to slow down, when you can quiet out some of

(12:54):
the noise, when you can spendsome time with yourself and
really get clear on what it isyou want and what do you want to
create and what's theenvironment you wanna cultivate,
you start with those things andthen you take little baby steps
forward, day after day, and themore you do it, the better you
become at it.
It's like a muscle, it's justlike working out.

(13:16):
The more reps you get in, thebetter you're gonna be.
And in the beginning the repsare gonna look like shit, which
means you're gonna to be.
And in the beginning the repsare going to look like shit,
which means you're going to tryand you're going to get
interrupted.
You're going to put your phoneon, do not disturb, and you're
going to go right back to itbeing on normal.
You're going to try to staygrounded, but someone's going to
trigger you and you're going toreact.
It's okay.
The best thing you can do isassess and start over.

(13:47):
So I know this episode is a bitshorter than usual.
Like I said, I've just got alot going on this week and I
wanted to give you something tostart you off on the week on a
good note, but I do need to restup and take a little bit better
care of myself this week.
As always, I appreciate youbeing here, I appreciate your
time and attention, so so somuch, and if you could please

(14:09):
give the show a rating and writea review, that would be
fantastic.
Wherever you listen to the show, any platform you're on, if you
scroll down to the bottom,there's an area where you can
give me a number of stars andthen write a short review or
leave a comment.
Those things go a long way.
I appreciate you and I'll catchyou on the next one.