June 23, 2025 • 29 mins
The most transformative moments in life often begin with taking a risk, stepping into uncertainty, and embracing the possibility of both success and failure. Today's episode dives deep into the physical and emotional "scars" these risks leave behind—and why they're worth celebrating rather than hiding.
Looking down at the stretch marks on my inner thighs one morning, I found myself reflecting on my journey as a former professional bodybuilder who experienced dramatic physical transformations throughout my career. Our bodies tell stories through their "imperfections," whether it's stretch marks from weight fluctuations, scars from childhood accidents, or the visible marks left by life's challenges.
For anyone standing at a crossroads, wondering whether to take that leap, I share five essential questions to guide your decision-making process. Sometimes the scariest risks yield the most unexpected rewards.
Whether you're contemplating a difficult conversation, career change, health journey, or simply putting yourself out there in a new way, this episode offers both practical guidance and emotional reassurance.
Need some help with your Fitness Mindset? Download my free 5-minute pre-workout mindset ritual (link in show notes) to apply these principles to your fitness journey!
Connect with Me
Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianasmindandmoves
Website: unbreakablemindandbody.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
Download your Free 5-Min Pre-Workout Guide:
https://tiana-gonzalez.mykajabi.com/likeyoumeanit
Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
podcast.
I am your host, tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate, creative
storyteller and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, tiana, and onthis episode, we're going to
talk about all things regardingrisk sometimes the scars that
they leave behind when you takea risk and I will have five
(00:52):
questions for you to sit with,contemplate, potentially journal
on, so that you can get clarityand then decide if there's
something you want to moveforward with and potentially
take a risk on.
Now, I typically record myepisodes on Fridays and I also
(01:14):
check in with my personaltrainer and coach on Fridays, so
usually my Friday morning is aneasy wake up.
I don't set the alarm, I kindof just roll over, wake up
whenever, naturally which is abeautiful thing for me and I
will have my coffee.
(01:35):
I usually get on the scale on aday that I'm going to check in
with my trainer and then we takephotos for progress.
And then we take photos forprogress, share some updates.
Then I contemplate the topic ifI don't have one already for
this show and write out my notesfor an outline.
This way this kind of keeps theshow flowing and I'm not
(01:58):
sitting here with these longpauses or having to do a lot of
editing post-record.
Now it's kind of a mixture ofthings, because I'm relaxing,
sometimes I do a little bit ofEFT tapping, sometimes I talk to
myself and then think aboutwhat I want to share with you,
(02:18):
what's important, what's top ofmind, what's going on, how can I
help, how can I be of serviceto you, and I kind of take it
easy with it.
I don't sit with the pen andpaper and pressure myself,
because that is so completelyunnatural and it goes against
everything I believe in.
If you've listened to the showbefore, you know that I firmly
(02:40):
believe that the most valuabletime is when you are not doing
anything.
It's when you're calm, it'swhen you're relaxed, it's when
you're in a state of ease thatthings will flow to you, that
thoughts will make sense, thatyou will come to conclusions
(03:01):
that you were trying to force ina time of stress.
So I wrote out a few notes, Iput on my bikini, I set up my
camera where I get great naturallight.
Same couple of poses, frontside, back side.
I actually did two sets ofphotos today because I wore two
(03:24):
different suits and it'sincredible I'm going on a
tangent right now.
It's incredible to observe howdifferent the physique can look
based on the cut of the bikinior the suit and the color.
So I was sipping my coffeeafter taking the photos, I still
(03:45):
had one of the bikinis on.
I'm in my desk chair, I've gotmy notes from the outline I drew
up minutes prior for thisepisode and I look down at my
legs and I can see stretch markson my inner thighs.
Marks on my inner thighs andstretch marks used to be the
(04:10):
bane of my existence.
As a retired professionalbodybuilder, I am very familiar
with the human body, fluctuatingin shape and size and me
personally, my own healthjourney as an adult.
I've gone through periods whereI was very lean and small in
size because I was pre-contestand getting ready for a
(04:32):
bodybuilding show, and then I'vealso experienced where I was
significantly heavier on thescale and a few sizes up, in
fact, at one of my friend'sweddings.
It was a period of time where Iwas going through a lot with my
health.
It was about a year and changeafter I had turned professional
(04:53):
in bodybuilding and I had gaineda significant amount of weight,
not because I was beingreckless or careless, not
because I fell off in any sortof fashion, but I had a laundry
list of health issuesparticularly related to my liver
, my kidneys, my thyroid andalso my reproductive system.
(05:16):
So I'm not going to go intothat right now.
But, as you can imagine, I wasdealing with a lot and there was
also a lot of stress in thelife and I remember the dress
that I wore to her wedding was asize 14.
I'm five foot one in height, soI was accustomed to being
(05:40):
significantly smaller in size.
You know, size is a reallyinteresting topic because at
least in the generation that Igrew up in, in the 80s and early
90s, you know, skinny was thething, having a flat butt and
big boobs.
That was in the late 90s.
Things started to evolve.
A couple of particularcelebrities made a big splash
(06:10):
into the scene and reallyintroduced more curvy shape and
it became more generallyaccepted.
So there's been a lot about sizeand women having stretch marks
and this perfection and thisideal.
But where am I going with allthis?
So I want to bring it back torisk, because the stretch marks
(06:34):
served as a gentle reminder ofperiods of time in my life where
I took risks.
I took risks with my health inparticular.
I took risks in my life to putmyself in an uncomfortable
situation and to get on stage infront of hundreds, if not
(06:55):
thousands, of people to get atrophy and to win a title, and I
am proud of the person that didall of that an old version of
myself and I'm proud of myselftoday.
So when I look down at thesestretch marks, they're not the
(07:16):
most beautiful thing in theworld.
I don't love them and dependingon how I'm sitting, they're
accentuated.
What's interesting is I've beenlaying out in the sun a little
bit and when you're more tan,the stretch marks at least the
ones I have look worse.
So now they're accentuated evenmore.
(07:37):
But instead of allowing it toreally bother me and instead of
looking up something, a productor some type of massage or
treatment to remove them, Ilooked down at these stretch
marks today with a little bit ofpride and I said wow, remember
when.
(07:57):
Remember when you were so muchheavier and uncomfortable in
your own skin and you stillstepped out into the world, and
what got you into that positionwas taking risks prior to that.
So it was risky to go throughthe process, to get lean, to get
on stage, to be judged and toearn a status, a title, a trophy
(08:21):
a status, a title, a trophy.
And it was also riskyafterwards.
And the thing is that theserisks and these stretch marks
that serve as a reminder ofthose risks taught me so many
valuable lessons little gems,golden nuggets, if you will.
(08:42):
Stretch marks remind me of scars.
Now, if we're talking aboutscars, I'm sure you may have one
or two or many on your body.
Some of them will serve asreminders of things that you
chose.
Some of them are reminders ofthings that happened to you or
(09:05):
happened for you.
It really depends on yourperspective and how you choose
to see that incident, topic,event or thing, but scars can
also be gentle reminders of howbrave you were at a certain
point in your life.
(09:26):
And so I have a scar on my face.
It's from the chicken pox.
I got the chicken pox when Iwas in the third grade and the
first little mark or pock, ifyou will, or blister showed up
the day before we were supposedto have our school play and I
(09:50):
remember I was the lead in theplay and unfortunately the
understudy got to star in theshow because I was sick with the
chickenpox.
That was pretty disappointing.
But I have this one scarbecause, of course, I was a kid
and I was scratching even thoughyou're not supposed to and I
have one scar on my cheek, on myface.
(10:12):
It's small now, but every timeI see it, which is every day I
remember how, when I was in thethird grade, I got really sick
the day before I was supposed tostart in the school play, was
(10:35):
supposed to start in the schoolplay, and that's a gentle
reminder.
I want you to look at some ofthe scars on your body and maybe
offer yourself a differentperspective.
Now, what do I think about scarsand stretch marks and
imperfections and risk?
Well, sometimes when you take arisk, you fail, or do you?
Sometimes, when you take a risk, it doesn't work out the way
(10:58):
you intended, but it works outmaybe even better.
So if you're finding yourselfat a crossroads and you're not
sure if you want to take thatrisk, whatever it is could be in
your love life, could be withyour health and wellness journey
could be in your career.
I have a few questions that youcan ask yourself Now.
(11:20):
Maybe you want to press pause,grab a pen and paper or notebook
or just open the notes app onyour phone so you can write
these questions down as we'retalking through it.
But the first question I wouldsuggest you ask yourself is what
is my end game?
What's the end game?
You're about to embark onsomething new.
You're contemplating maybehaving that uncomfortable
(11:43):
conversation with that personthat you love so dearly, but
you've been feeling a little bitof grit, a little bit of
resistance there.
What is the best outcomepossible from having that
uncomfortable conversation ortaking that risk?
So this is where visualizationcan help you.
(12:06):
Now, if you've listened toprevious episodes, you know that
there is a difference, in myopinion, between visualization
and manifesting.
In comparison to daydreaming.
Visualization and manifesting,you are putting some effort and
work into accomplishingsomething, into accomplishing
(12:28):
something.
Daydreaming is a little bitmore of like a fantasy world.
Now, they do overlap and theyare very similar is nuanced in
the differences.
However, if you are amanifester, if you have worked
(12:54):
with the law of attraction, thenyou know there is a huge
difference.
Now you want to think aboutwhat the best possible outcome
is.
You want to make sure you knowwhat your end game is, because,
let's say, you're feelingdifferences with one of your
best friends and you're about toask them an uncomfortable
question.
The first thing they may bewondering is why are you
(13:16):
bringing this up, or why are youasking me that?
So it would be good to haveclarity on what it is you're
looking to accomplish.
You're not forcing theconversation in a certain
direction, you're notinfluencing the other party, but
you know in your mind what youwould like to see happen, and
(13:37):
hopefully this makes sense.
Now the second question I haveif I don't step forward or if I
don't take that risk, will ithurt me or eat me up inside?
Now, only you can answer thisquestion for yourself.
(13:59):
I work in fitness.
The fitness industry is full ofa lot of snake oil, a lot of
quote unquote opportunities, alot of things that have
potential to generate income,potential to build your network,
potential to give you morevisibility, a bigger platform, a
louder voice, more clients,which should all translate into
(14:23):
more money coming in, morerevenue.
However, a lot of times, thingsare framed that way but they
don't actually come to fruition.
So that's where a risk may notbe worth it.
Now, if you're thinking abouthaving a conversation with
(14:46):
somebody or pursuing a hobby oran interest that really excites
you, what would happen if youdon't move forward?
What would happen if you don'ttake that risk?
Is it going to eat you alive?
Are you going to be ruminatingor dwelling on it day in, day
out?
Are you going to be at homewondering what if?
(15:09):
Question number three is thisthe right time?
So if you don't step forwardbut it's the right time you
might miss this opportunity.
You might miss the chance totake that specific risk, the
(15:31):
chance to take that specificrisk, and there's something to
be said for calculated risk.
However, there's also somethingto be said for hiding behind
planning and preparation.
(15:54):
Episode 24, I talk about thechampion mindset and how you
have to get out of theanticipation phase, and that's
what I'm referring to now.
If it's not the right time,when will it be the right time?
Because if it's just wheneveryou're going to be stuck in this
anticipation phase, you'regoing to be going from
manifesting and taking actioninto daydreaming.
(16:16):
Do you see how that's slightlydifferent?
I hope that you do so.
If not now, then when?
That's question four.
If not now, then when?
Because you owe it to yourself.
You owe it to yourself to takea risk.
(16:38):
You owe it to yourself topursue that thing.
If you find yourself waking upevery day or going to bed every
night and you can't get yourmind off of this particular
thing or this conversation, orthis interest, or this hobby, or
this career path or thiseducation, whatever it is, if
(16:59):
you can't get your mind off ofit, someone's trying to tell you
something, someone out there istrying to nudge you and say,
hey, you really need to look atthis Now.
I believe that there are nomistakes.
There is no such thing ascoincidence, and I also believe
(17:20):
that it's not about things,people places, opportunities
being aligned with you.
It's about you getting intoalignment with who you are
authentically, who's your mosttrue self.
When you're that, that's whenthe right things come forward,
(17:50):
that's when those idealopportunities present themselves
.
That's when that surprise showsup.
Now, question number five ifnot now, and I'm not sure when,
how will I know when?
It's scary to be the first oneto go.
It's scary to put yourself outthere.
And please do not misunderstandme yeah, it's frightening to
(18:13):
take a risk, especially when youhave people that are depending
on you.
If you have a family where youtake care of someone, you're a
provider and you're about totake a risk in your career, or
you're about to take onsomething else which is going to
take away your time butpotentially bring in more
(18:34):
revenue or more income.
Those are risks, or more income, those are risks.
And if you don't have someonewho you can emulate, if you
don't have a mentor or a leaderto follow, then you're just
going out there on your own andit is super scary to be the
(18:58):
first one to go.
But what's going to happen ifyou don't?
How many days are you going togo to bed at night wondering if
maybe your life will bedifferent tomorrow?
But it's not going to be if youdon't take action, if you don't
take the risk.
Action, if you don't take therisk.
(19:19):
I was thinking about being youngand growing up, and there was a
period of time in my when I wasa tween I should say I wasn't a
teen and I wasn't a little kideither.
I was about 12, right after mydad went to prison and we moved
(19:39):
to the Bronx.
Now, now, my cousin.
I have a cousin who's one yearolder than me and he had a
birthday party, so I guess itwas his 14th birthday party.
I was still 12, but I wasturning 13 later that year, so
this was in 1991.
So I was at this party and ofcourse there were adults there.
It wasn't just a bunch of kids,but you know, there was a bunch
(20:01):
of kids in the living room.
There was a DJ playing recordsand nobody was really dancing
yet.
And I remember it's crazybecause I thought I forgot about
this until earlier today and Iremember some song came on and I
couldn't take it anymore.
(20:21):
So there was a room full ofkids, most of them were a little
bit older than me.
I didn't know anybody except mycousins and one or two friends.
And I'm just in the living roomand I start dancing, not
realizing that I didn't know,like the code, if you will, but
(20:42):
these kids, if you starteddancing behind someone, like
someone had their back to youand you started dancing.
That was considered a challenge.
So I unknowingly set off achallenge with this girl and of
(21:02):
course it was the scariest thingthat ever happened, because I
was, you know, at the time.
It was the scariest thing thatever happened, because I was
only about 12, going on 13.
I'm with all these kids.
I'm trying to be cool, I'mtrying to act cool.
I wasn't from the Bronx.
I wasn't born and raised.
I moved to the Bronx.
I was a suburb girl.
I moved to the Bronx for a fewyears, so I'm trying to play it
(21:25):
cool.
I look like a white girl and infact in school the kids used to
call me blondie.
I got made fun of a lot for notbeing Puerto Rican enough.
Quote unquote.
That's another topic foranother episode.
But I remember I guess I wastrying.
I was trying hard to fit in,trying hard to be accepted.
(21:47):
I wanted to be accepted.
Plus, there was older kidsthere, there was cute boys.
You know, I was like just goingthrough puberty, so the
hormones were flying everywhere.
And I remember I start dancing,just totally innocent, I just
couldn't help myself.
I start dancing and it took somuch courage for me to do that
anyway, because I was in a roomfull of all these kids that I
didn't know and this girl turnsaround and she was like what?
(22:09):
And she starts battling me andI just stand there frozen.
I have no idea what's going on,a circle forms around us and
I'm standing there dumbfounded,I walk, I run out, I don't walk
out, I run out, I go to thebathroom, I am fighting tears
(22:30):
and I'm like what the hell justhappened?
Like I'm trying to make friends, not enemies, I did something
and inadvertently caused a riotyou know, a dance riot, if you
will.
And when I come out, mycousin's like what happened?
Where'd you go?
And I was like those girls, Iembarrassed myself, I didn't
mean to.
And he's like relax, you'rejust dancing.
(22:52):
He said they're not going totell you.
And he's like but as soon asyou walked out, they started
copying your dance moves.
So when you're 12 or 13 yearsold, that's a big deal, right.
And I just remember if I hadnot started dancing, nobody
would have been dancing becausepeople were kind of waiting for
(23:14):
somebody else to set it off.
And yeah, I was the first oneto go and it was super scary.
I thought it backfired and thenlater on I just did my thing
and tried not to dance likeright behind someone.
It was a small, you know, aliving room in an apartment.
(23:34):
So if there's a bunch of kidsin there, it's not going to take
much for somebody to feel likeI'm dancing behind them.
But here I was.
So if I take that story and Iplug in these questions into
this example, that little,somewhat innocent 12-year-old me
found herself in what was myendgame?
(23:55):
Well, my endgame was to move mybody, to express myself and to
get other people dancing.
I wanted more dancing.
That was the best possibleoutcome.
If I didn't step forward atthat time, what would have been
the risk?
It probably would have eaten meup inside, up inside, and
(24:19):
that's the whole point of it all.
Take the risk.
If it's eating you up inside,it means you need to do
something about it.
If it's impacting you, you needto do something about it.
Now, if I look at questionnumber three, is it the right
time?
It probably wasn't the righttime.
Maybe it was just a little toosoon, too early.
You know, I should have let thevibe develop a little bit more
(24:42):
on the dance floor.
And as I got older and I gotinto more like the club scene
and I started working in theclub scene as a dancer side note
, in 1998, I used to work as adancer in a club in Connecticut
was a lot of fun.
I started to learn about.
You know you got to build upthe energy and then like, slowly
(25:03):
but surely, let peopleorganically start dancing
instead of just being out therelike a performer.
And what I learned from that ishow to read the room a little
bit better and if not at thatparticular moment, will I know
when?
And I can confidently say nowyeah, I'll know when.
(25:27):
So there was a risk and I tookit and maybe if I had known how
to read the room a little better, engage the temperature better
and understand myself better,engage the temperature better
and understand myself better,understand the environment
better, I would have known when.
Again, if you find yourselfthinking about something that's
(25:50):
on your heart, in your head, youcan't stop thinking about it.
You want to take action?
Here's some questions for you.
Let's run through these againso I can just tie thinking about
it.
You want to take action?
Here's some questions for you.
Let's run through these againso I can just tie it all
together.
What's my end game?
(26:12):
What's the best possibleoutcome?
If I don't step forward or takethat risk, will it hurt me or
will it eat me up inside?
Is this the right time?
If it's not the right time,then when will it be the right
time and how will I know when?
(26:34):
Thank you so much for your timeand attention.
It has been such a life-changingexperience for me personally to
share my stories with you onthis show.
I love when people randomlystop me at places and say
they've been listening to theshow and they found this episode
(26:55):
helpful or that episode helpful.
That really means a lot.
It's scary to be the first oneto go.
It's scary to put yourself outthere.
It's scary to take risks and toknow that you might have some
scars left behind and you mayhave some marks on your body.
(27:16):
But what would happen if youdidn't?
What would happen if you juststayed with the flow?
What would happen if youcontinued living life and going
with the grain, following sometype of set of principles or
mantras that you were taught,and not finding your own truth
(27:38):
within, not living in alignmentwith who you are meant to be?
I hope you found this episodehelpful.
I hope that these questions willhelp you find clarity as you
are continuing to move forwardand step into your life's
purpose, to find that courage.
(28:03):
To find that courage to becomemore resilient and develop that
unbreakable mind and body sothat you can move forward in
this life.
Now, before I let you go, thereis one more thing I want to
mention.
If you check the show notes,there is a link to download a
free PDF that I have created andit's to help you get yourself
into the right mindset beforeyou step into the gym to train.
(28:25):
It's a quick five minute ritualthat you can implement every
day before you get to the gym orbefore you walk into the gym or
before you get on the fitnessfloor, so that you can move with
purpose, so that you haveclarity on what you're looking
to execute and complete that dayand you can continue to develop
(28:46):
and foster that unbreakablemind and body.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
If you enjoyed this episode,follow the show so that you can
be notified when the nextepisode drops and, as always,
I'll catch you on the next one.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
podcast.
I am your host, tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate, creative
storyteller and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, tiana, and onthis episode, we're going to
talk about all things regardingrisk sometimes the scars that
they leave behind when you takea risk and I will have five
(00:52):
questions for you to sit with,contemplate, potentially journal
on, so that you can get clarityand then decide if there's
something you want to moveforward with and potentially
take a risk on.
Now, I typically record myepisodes on Fridays and I also
(01:14):
check in with my personaltrainer and coach on Fridays, so
usually my Friday morning is aneasy wake up.
I don't set the alarm, I kindof just roll over, wake up
whenever, naturally which is abeautiful thing for me and I
will have my coffee.
(01:35):
I usually get on the scale on aday that I'm going to check in
with my trainer and then we takephotos for progress.
And then we take photos forprogress, share some updates.
Then I contemplate the topic ifI don't have one already for
this show and write out my notesfor an outline.
This way this kind of keeps theshow flowing and I'm not
(01:58):
sitting here with these longpauses or having to do a lot of
editing post-record.
Now it's kind of a mixture ofthings, because I'm relaxing,
sometimes I do a little bit ofEFT tapping, sometimes I talk to
myself and then think aboutwhat I want to share with you,
(02:18):
what's important, what's top ofmind, what's going on, how can I
help, how can I be of serviceto you, and I kind of take it
easy with it.
I don't sit with the pen andpaper and pressure myself,
because that is so completelyunnatural and it goes against
everything I believe in.
If you've listened to the showbefore, you know that I firmly
(02:40):
believe that the most valuabletime is when you are not doing
anything.
It's when you're calm, it'swhen you're relaxed, it's when
you're in a state of ease thatthings will flow to you, that
thoughts will make sense, thatyou will come to conclusions
(03:01):
that you were trying to force ina time of stress.
So I wrote out a few notes, Iput on my bikini, I set up my
camera where I get great naturallight.
Same couple of poses, frontside, back side.
I actually did two sets ofphotos today because I wore two
(03:24):
different suits and it'sincredible I'm going on a
tangent right now.
It's incredible to observe howdifferent the physique can look
based on the cut of the bikinior the suit and the color.
So I was sipping my coffeeafter taking the photos, I still
(03:45):
had one of the bikinis on.
I'm in my desk chair, I've gotmy notes from the outline I drew
up minutes prior for thisepisode and I look down at my
legs and I can see stretch markson my inner thighs.
Marks on my inner thighs andstretch marks used to be the
(04:10):
bane of my existence.
As a retired professionalbodybuilder, I am very familiar
with the human body, fluctuatingin shape and size and me
personally, my own healthjourney as an adult.
I've gone through periods whereI was very lean and small in
size because I was pre-contestand getting ready for a
(04:32):
bodybuilding show, and then I'vealso experienced where I was
significantly heavier on thescale and a few sizes up, in
fact, at one of my friend'sweddings.
It was a period of time where Iwas going through a lot with my
health.
It was about a year and changeafter I had turned professional
(04:53):
in bodybuilding and I had gaineda significant amount of weight,
not because I was beingreckless or careless, not
because I fell off in any sortof fashion, but I had a laundry
list of health issuesparticularly related to my liver
, my kidneys, my thyroid andalso my reproductive system.
(05:16):
So I'm not going to go intothat right now.
But, as you can imagine, I wasdealing with a lot and there was
also a lot of stress in thelife and I remember the dress
that I wore to her wedding was asize 14.
I'm five foot one in height, soI was accustomed to being
(05:40):
significantly smaller in size.
You know, size is a reallyinteresting topic because at
least in the generation that Igrew up in, in the 80s and early
90s, you know, skinny was thething, having a flat butt and
big boobs.
That was in the late 90s.
Things started to evolve.
A couple of particularcelebrities made a big splash
(06:10):
into the scene and reallyintroduced more curvy shape and
it became more generallyaccepted.
So there's been a lot about sizeand women having stretch marks
and this perfection and thisideal.
But where am I going with allthis?
So I want to bring it back torisk, because the stretch marks
(06:34):
served as a gentle reminder ofperiods of time in my life where
I took risks.
I took risks with my health inparticular.
I took risks in my life to putmyself in an uncomfortable
situation and to get on stage infront of hundreds, if not
(06:55):
thousands, of people to get atrophy and to win a title, and I
am proud of the person that didall of that an old version of
myself and I'm proud of myselftoday.
So when I look down at thesestretch marks, they're not the
(07:16):
most beautiful thing in theworld.
I don't love them and dependingon how I'm sitting, they're
accentuated.
What's interesting is I've beenlaying out in the sun a little
bit and when you're more tan,the stretch marks at least the
ones I have look worse.
So now they're accentuated evenmore.
(07:37):
But instead of allowing it toreally bother me and instead of
looking up something, a productor some type of massage or
treatment to remove them, Ilooked down at these stretch
marks today with a little bit ofpride and I said wow, remember
when.
(07:57):
Remember when you were so muchheavier and uncomfortable in
your own skin and you stillstepped out into the world, and
what got you into that positionwas taking risks prior to that.
So it was risky to go throughthe process, to get lean, to get
on stage, to be judged and toearn a status, a title, a trophy
(08:21):
a status, a title, a trophy.
And it was also riskyafterwards.
And the thing is that theserisks and these stretch marks
that serve as a reminder ofthose risks taught me so many
valuable lessons little gems,golden nuggets, if you will.
(08:42):
Stretch marks remind me of scars.
Now, if we're talking aboutscars, I'm sure you may have one
or two or many on your body.
Some of them will serve asreminders of things that you
chose.
Some of them are reminders ofthings that happened to you or
(09:05):
happened for you.
It really depends on yourperspective and how you choose
to see that incident, topic,event or thing, but scars can
also be gentle reminders of howbrave you were at a certain
point in your life.
(09:26):
And so I have a scar on my face.
It's from the chicken pox.
I got the chicken pox when Iwas in the third grade and the
first little mark or pock, ifyou will, or blister showed up
the day before we were supposedto have our school play and I
(09:50):
remember I was the lead in theplay and unfortunately the
understudy got to star in theshow because I was sick with the
chickenpox.
That was pretty disappointing.
But I have this one scarbecause, of course, I was a kid
and I was scratching even thoughyou're not supposed to and I
have one scar on my cheek, on myface.
(10:12):
It's small now, but every timeI see it, which is every day I
remember how, when I was in thethird grade, I got really sick
the day before I was supposed tostart in the school play, was
(10:35):
supposed to start in the schoolplay, and that's a gentle
reminder.
I want you to look at some ofthe scars on your body and maybe
offer yourself a differentperspective.
Now, what do I think about scarsand stretch marks and
imperfections and risk?
Well, sometimes when you take arisk, you fail, or do you?
Sometimes, when you take a risk, it doesn't work out the way
(10:58):
you intended, but it works outmaybe even better.
So if you're finding yourselfat a crossroads and you're not
sure if you want to take thatrisk, whatever it is could be in
your love life, could be withyour health and wellness journey
could be in your career.
I have a few questions that youcan ask yourself Now.
(11:20):
Maybe you want to press pause,grab a pen and paper or notebook
or just open the notes app onyour phone so you can write
these questions down as we'retalking through it.
But the first question I wouldsuggest you ask yourself is what
is my end game?
What's the end game?
You're about to embark onsomething new.
You're contemplating maybehaving that uncomfortable
(11:43):
conversation with that personthat you love so dearly, but
you've been feeling a little bitof grit, a little bit of
resistance there.
What is the best outcomepossible from having that
uncomfortable conversation ortaking that risk?
So this is where visualizationcan help you.
(12:06):
Now, if you've listened toprevious episodes, you know that
there is a difference, in myopinion, between visualization
and manifesting.
In comparison to daydreaming.
Visualization and manifesting,you are putting some effort and
work into accomplishingsomething, into accomplishing
(12:28):
something.
Daydreaming is a little bitmore of like a fantasy world.
Now, they do overlap and theyare very similar is nuanced in
the differences.
However, if you are amanifester, if you have worked
(12:54):
with the law of attraction, thenyou know there is a huge
difference.
Now you want to think aboutwhat the best possible outcome
is.
You want to make sure you knowwhat your end game is, because,
let's say, you're feelingdifferences with one of your
best friends and you're about toask them an uncomfortable
question.
The first thing they may bewondering is why are you
(13:16):
bringing this up, or why are youasking me that?
So it would be good to haveclarity on what it is you're
looking to accomplish.
You're not forcing theconversation in a certain
direction, you're notinfluencing the other party, but
you know in your mind what youwould like to see happen, and
(13:37):
hopefully this makes sense.
Now the second question I haveif I don't step forward or if I
don't take that risk, will ithurt me or eat me up inside?
Now, only you can answer thisquestion for yourself.
(13:59):
I work in fitness.
The fitness industry is full ofa lot of snake oil, a lot of
quote unquote opportunities, alot of things that have
potential to generate income,potential to build your network,
potential to give you morevisibility, a bigger platform, a
louder voice, more clients,which should all translate into
(14:23):
more money coming in, morerevenue.
However, a lot of times, thingsare framed that way but they
don't actually come to fruition.
So that's where a risk may notbe worth it.
Now, if you're thinking abouthaving a conversation with
(14:46):
somebody or pursuing a hobby oran interest that really excites
you, what would happen if youdon't move forward?
What would happen if you don'ttake that risk?
Is it going to eat you alive?
Are you going to be ruminatingor dwelling on it day in, day
out?
Are you going to be at homewondering what if?
(15:09):
Question number three is thisthe right time?
So if you don't step forwardbut it's the right time you
might miss this opportunity.
You might miss the chance totake that specific risk, the
(15:31):
chance to take that specificrisk, and there's something to
be said for calculated risk.
However, there's also somethingto be said for hiding behind
planning and preparation.
(15:54):
Episode 24, I talk about thechampion mindset and how you
have to get out of theanticipation phase, and that's
what I'm referring to now.
If it's not the right time,when will it be the right time?
Because if it's just wheneveryou're going to be stuck in this
anticipation phase, you'regoing to be going from
manifesting and taking actioninto daydreaming.
(16:16):
Do you see how that's slightlydifferent?
I hope that you do so.
If not now, then when?
That's question four.
If not now, then when?
Because you owe it to yourself.
You owe it to yourself to takea risk.
(16:38):
You owe it to yourself topursue that thing.
If you find yourself waking upevery day or going to bed every
night and you can't get yourmind off of this particular
thing or this conversation, orthis interest, or this hobby, or
this career path or thiseducation, whatever it is, if
(16:59):
you can't get your mind off ofit, someone's trying to tell you
something, someone out there istrying to nudge you and say,
hey, you really need to look atthis Now.
I believe that there are nomistakes.
There is no such thing ascoincidence, and I also believe
(17:20):
that it's not about things,people places, opportunities
being aligned with you.
It's about you getting intoalignment with who you are
authentically, who's your mosttrue self.
When you're that, that's whenthe right things come forward,
(17:50):
that's when those idealopportunities present themselves
.
That's when that surprise showsup.
Now, question number five ifnot now, and I'm not sure when,
how will I know when?
It's scary to be the first oneto go.
It's scary to put yourself outthere.
And please do not misunderstandme yeah, it's frightening to
(18:13):
take a risk, especially when youhave people that are depending
on you.
If you have a family where youtake care of someone, you're a
provider and you're about totake a risk in your career, or
you're about to take onsomething else which is going to
take away your time butpotentially bring in more
(18:34):
revenue or more income.
Those are risks, or more income, those are risks.
And if you don't have someonewho you can emulate, if you
don't have a mentor or a leaderto follow, then you're just
going out there on your own andit is super scary to be the
(18:58):
first one to go.
But what's going to happen ifyou don't?
How many days are you going togo to bed at night wondering if
maybe your life will bedifferent tomorrow?
But it's not going to be if youdon't take action, if you don't
take the risk.
Action, if you don't take therisk.
(19:19):
I was thinking about being youngand growing up, and there was a
period of time in my when I wasa tween I should say I wasn't a
teen and I wasn't a little kideither.
I was about 12, right after mydad went to prison and we moved
(19:39):
to the Bronx.
Now, now, my cousin.
I have a cousin who's one yearolder than me and he had a
birthday party, so I guess itwas his 14th birthday party.
I was still 12, but I wasturning 13 later that year, so
this was in 1991.
So I was at this party and ofcourse there were adults there.
It wasn't just a bunch of kids,but you know, there was a bunch
(20:01):
of kids in the living room.
There was a DJ playing recordsand nobody was really dancing
yet.
And I remember it's crazybecause I thought I forgot about
this until earlier today and Iremember some song came on and I
couldn't take it anymore.
(20:21):
So there was a room full ofkids, most of them were a little
bit older than me.
I didn't know anybody except mycousins and one or two friends.
And I'm just in the living roomand I start dancing, not
realizing that I didn't know,like the code, if you will, but
(20:42):
these kids, if you starteddancing behind someone, like
someone had their back to youand you started dancing.
That was considered a challenge.
So I unknowingly set off achallenge with this girl and of
(21:02):
course it was the scariest thingthat ever happened, because I
was, you know, at the time.
It was the scariest thing thatever happened, because I was
only about 12, going on 13.
I'm with all these kids.
I'm trying to be cool, I'mtrying to act cool.
I wasn't from the Bronx.
I wasn't born and raised.
I moved to the Bronx.
I was a suburb girl.
I moved to the Bronx for a fewyears, so I'm trying to play it
(21:25):
cool.
I look like a white girl and infact in school the kids used to
call me blondie.
I got made fun of a lot for notbeing Puerto Rican enough.
Quote unquote.
That's another topic foranother episode.
But I remember I guess I wastrying.
I was trying hard to fit in,trying hard to be accepted.
(21:47):
I wanted to be accepted.
Plus, there was older kidsthere, there was cute boys.
You know, I was like just goingthrough puberty, so the
hormones were flying everywhere.
And I remember I start dancing,just totally innocent, I just
couldn't help myself.
I start dancing and it took somuch courage for me to do that
anyway, because I was in a roomfull of all these kids that I
didn't know and this girl turnsaround and she was like what?
(22:09):
And she starts battling me andI just stand there frozen.
I have no idea what's going on,a circle forms around us and
I'm standing there dumbfounded,I walk, I run out, I don't walk
out, I run out, I go to thebathroom, I am fighting tears
(22:30):
and I'm like what the hell justhappened?
Like I'm trying to make friends, not enemies, I did something
and inadvertently caused a riotyou know, a dance riot, if you
will.
And when I come out, mycousin's like what happened?
Where'd you go?
And I was like those girls, Iembarrassed myself, I didn't
mean to.
And he's like relax, you'rejust dancing.
(22:52):
He said they're not going totell you.
And he's like but as soon asyou walked out, they started
copying your dance moves.
So when you're 12 or 13 yearsold, that's a big deal, right.
And I just remember if I hadnot started dancing, nobody
would have been dancing becausepeople were kind of waiting for
(23:14):
somebody else to set it off.
And yeah, I was the first oneto go and it was super scary.
I thought it backfired and thenlater on I just did my thing
and tried not to dance likeright behind someone.
It was a small, you know, aliving room in an apartment.
(23:34):
So if there's a bunch of kidsin there, it's not going to take
much for somebody to feel likeI'm dancing behind them.
But here I was.
So if I take that story and Iplug in these questions into
this example, that little,somewhat innocent 12-year-old me
found herself in what was myendgame?
(23:55):
Well, my endgame was to move mybody, to express myself and to
get other people dancing.
I wanted more dancing.
That was the best possibleoutcome.
If I didn't step forward atthat time, what would have been
the risk?
It probably would have eaten meup inside, up inside, and
(24:19):
that's the whole point of it all.
Take the risk.
If it's eating you up inside,it means you need to do
something about it.
If it's impacting you, you needto do something about it.
Now, if I look at questionnumber three, is it the right
time?
It probably wasn't the righttime.
Maybe it was just a little toosoon, too early.
You know, I should have let thevibe develop a little bit more
(24:42):
on the dance floor.
And as I got older and I gotinto more like the club scene
and I started working in theclub scene as a dancer side note
, in 1998, I used to work as adancer in a club in Connecticut
was a lot of fun.
I started to learn about.
You know you got to build upthe energy and then like, slowly
(25:03):
but surely, let peopleorganically start dancing
instead of just being out therelike a performer.
And what I learned from that ishow to read the room a little
bit better and if not at thatparticular moment, will I know
when?
And I can confidently say nowyeah, I'll know when.
(25:27):
So there was a risk and I tookit and maybe if I had known how
to read the room a little better, engage the temperature better
and understand myself better,engage the temperature better
and understand myself better,understand the environment
better, I would have known when.
Again, if you find yourselfthinking about something that's
(25:50):
on your heart, in your head, youcan't stop thinking about it.
You want to take action?
Here's some questions for you.
Let's run through these againso I can just tie thinking about
it.
You want to take action?
Here's some questions for you.
Let's run through these againso I can just tie it all
together.
What's my end game?
(26:12):
What's the best possibleoutcome?
If I don't step forward or takethat risk, will it hurt me or
will it eat me up inside?
Is this the right time?
If it's not the right time,then when will it be the right
time and how will I know when?
(26:34):
Thank you so much for your timeand attention.
It has been such a life-changingexperience for me personally to
share my stories with you onthis show.
I love when people randomlystop me at places and say
they've been listening to theshow and they found this episode
(26:55):
helpful or that episode helpful.
That really means a lot.
It's scary to be the first oneto go.
It's scary to put yourself outthere.
It's scary to take risks and toknow that you might have some
scars left behind and you mayhave some marks on your body.
(27:16):
But what would happen if youdidn't?
What would happen if you juststayed with the flow?
What would happen if youcontinued living life and going
with the grain, following sometype of set of principles or
mantras that you were taught,and not finding your own truth
(27:38):
within, not living in alignmentwith who you are meant to be?
I hope you found this episodehelpful.
I hope that these questions willhelp you find clarity as you
are continuing to move forwardand step into your life's
purpose, to find that courage.
(28:03):
To find that courage to becomemore resilient and develop that
unbreakable mind and body sothat you can move forward in
this life.
Now, before I let you go, thereis one more thing I want to
mention.
If you check the show notes,there is a link to download a
free PDF that I have created andit's to help you get yourself
into the right mindset beforeyou step into the gym to train.
(28:25):
It's a quick five minute ritualthat you can implement every
day before you get to the gym orbefore you walk into the gym or
before you get on the fitnessfloor, so that you can move with
purpose, so that you haveclarity on what you're looking
to execute and complete that dayand you can continue to develop
(28:46):
and foster that unbreakablemind and body.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
If you enjoyed this episode,follow the show so that you can
be notified when the nextepisode drops and, as always,
I'll catch you on the next one.
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