Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
- I left my abusive marriage for the safety of my children and myself, and my ex-husband has since passed away. As I grow through recovery and faith, I've started considering dating again. However, I've begun having intrusive thoughts about whether the men around me are engaging in problematic behaviors like masturbation and porn. Do you have any suggestions for minimizing these intrusive thoughts or handling them when they occur?
- My husband has been working on recovery through Seven Pillars and Compassionate Warrior, and I’ve done Betrayal & Beyond. While he’s making progress, I’m struggling to sleep next to him (actually sleep). He acted out in our bed during most of our marriage, and now sleep feels vulnerable. Though I trust he's not acting out, I wake up panicked with vivid dreams and flooded thoughts of his betrayal. We’ve set boundaries around sleeping together, but it doesn’t feel like a healthy arrangement. What should I do?
- I’m questioning the concept of "erotic haze" in my relationship. What can you tell me about it? My partner is “sober” but still feels unsafe to me emotionally and physically. While he acknowledges the issues of porn and masturbation, he’s resistant to recognizing other problematic behaviors tied to his sexual history. We’re five years past D-Day, and progress is slow despite treatment efforts: inpatient twice, Seven Pillars, and currently Compassionate Warrior. He struggles with manipulation and control, and I’ve detached myself to focus on my own healing. I need validation and education to better understand this process and my feelings.
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
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