Email your questions to unfiltered@puredesire.org
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
- I am wondering if a husband is supposed to tell his wife about relapses after full disclosure? My husband doesn’t want to cause me “more trauma” and says, “I am acting like an accountability partner.” When I tell him it’s to help restore trust with honesty, he says he has been honest because I’ve known about his struggle. But I don’t know about current relapses. He is in a program and I am seeking healing. Any insights on how to have this conversation? Is he right?
- My husband has been relapsing for 2.5 years and doesn't disclose within the agreed 24-hour period. Instead, he waits weeks or months, which leaves me feeling hopeless and angry. What boundaries should I put in place and how long do I let him continue this pattern? Although he’s in a Seven Pillars group and working on recovery, his ongoing deception makes rebuilding trust difficult. I have a safety plan in place, but his lying is a major issue. I want him to find freedom, but I don’t know how much more I can endure.
- Are there guidelines for healthy boundaries during separation? A separation safety action plan? How to help the kids through this? After a previous separation, I rushed back, but now, a year later, my husband violated my safety plan, requiring another separation. I’m in counseling, he’s nearing the end of his Seven Pillars group, but avoids personal counseling. He claims to be “trying,” yet the same patterns persist—relapsing every 3-6 months and swapping one addiction for another. I’m not seeing real growth or accountability.
Resources:
7 Key Components of a “Therapeutic” Separation Agreement
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
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