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May 20, 2025 16 mins

THE WORK
Follow Break Generational Trauma, One Trauma at a Time

“Healing is a daily event. You can’t ‘go somewhere’ to be
healed: you must go inward to be healed. This means a daily
commitment to doing the work.”

—Dr. Nicole LePera, The Holistic Psychologist

Our purpose is not to create a perfect life for our kids or our
people. It is to show our humanness and to raise our kids to
know they are deeply loved by their deeply imperfect parents.
And to show our people we are flawed humans who are doing
the best with what we know, right now.

Our work is to become aware of our traumas and triggers
and the impacts they can have, if unchecked, and then to
decide which ones have the biggest impact on our people.

Have you ever met an adult with no issues? No parent
issues or people-pleasing, boundary issues or control issues?
Me, neither... Not sure I want to or need to, either.

What if, each year, we focused on different parts of
ourselves instead of tackling all our trauma and hoping we can
be perfect for those close to us?

It can be so overwhelming, when you begin work in your
life with a coach, mentor, therapist, guide, or pastor. Instead,
pick one thing, and focus on that! Shift that! Grow in that area!

  • This year, my big focus will be:
  • While I am doing this for me, I know
    ____________________________ will also be hugely impacted.
  • The reason I choose this for my yearly goal is:
  • When I feel like I am not making real progress, I will
    pay attention to mini-magical moments by:
  • Actions I will take include:
  • My triggers around this trauma are:
  • I want to show up for my people in the following way:
    By showing my people my human, imperfect side, I
    am giving them a gift of:

    Focusing on one per year will shift the all-or-nothing
    thinking. It will calm the inner rebel and also
    UnFollow that “in order to be great humans, we must
    be healed” false narrative.

More of us talking about what we are healing, and why, is
how we collectively change and encourage others. Through
bravery and belief, not shame and perfectionism.

It is only by living we truly heal!

So, let’s live, lassies and lads, and show our imperfect
selves as we do it.


Get your copy of Melissa's bestselling book, UnFollow: Question Everything with Excitement, and download the FREE WORKBOOK!

Curious about Group Coaching? Check out ONE.Life today!

Did you love this episode? Let us know what other topics you'd like to hear Melissa explore or questions she could address. Email: melissa@melissawiggins.life

Remember, you can change your life one question at a time.
Let’s get started today.

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