Unlimited

Unlimited

The Unlimited Podcast is for badass women who are on a journey to move beyond their learned limitations to live present, fun, and impactful lives. It's about reaching for the stars while keeping your feet on the ground. Your Host, Valerie Friedlander is a certified life/business alignment coach with over 20 years of science and spiritually based personal development study. You can find out more at www.valeriefriedlander.com and follow her on Instagram @unlimitedcoachval

Episodes

November 16, 2022 35 min

How to say no without guilt is a common struggle for Moms but also for most highly empathetic people. The fear of letting people down or upsetting others can make saying no extremely uncomfortable. You may worry about hurting someone. That worry may feed a fear that you will then be seen as uncaring, lazy, incompetent, or otherwise judged. There are many articles with step-by-step instructions for the logistics of politely saying n...

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Setting healthy boundaries is a process that improves with practice. Part of the challenge of setting boundaries is that most of us didn’t grow up with examples of healthy boundaries. Additionally, the media often idolize emmeshed relationships. Consider how many songs and stories idealize relationships where someone’s emotional wellbeing is dependent on one other person. In our societal narratives, love and caring look like being ...

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October 19, 2022 37 min

Dealing with impostor syndrome is a topic commonly and historically focused on working women. Most women have experienced the feelings of self-doubt and fear of not being good enough despite their accomplishments. Of course, working women aren’t the only ones who experience self-doubt. So, why are we the focus for this topic? We are social beings and our understanding of ourselves is generated in large part from our interactions wi...

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October 5, 2022 35 min

Silencing your inner critic can help you start to get out of your own way but there’s a more effective way. Using the silencing technique is only a temporary solution for two key reasons: First, it fails to address why the inner critic showed up. Second, it means you’re spending energy fighting yourself instead of harnessing that energy to help you. Most of my clients “know better” when their inner critic shows up, but it still fre...

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Become empowered by your emotions, rather than stuck in them, by understanding their purpose or lack thereof. It's important to remember that though "feelings aren’t facts," they still matter. They are an intrinsic part of our whole humanness. Supporting emotional wellbeing starts with embracing the value of emotional information. Despite some of that information being outdated or maladaptive, it can still provide direc...

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August 17, 2022 31 min

To emotional awareness and, beyond that, to USING that awareness is this week’s topic. As we explored last week, you must first find the emotions and allow space for them. Following that, you can learn how to use them in a helpful rather than harmful way. This is also called being responsive rather than reactive in our behavior. Reactivity isn't just lashing out. Another facet of reactivity is shutting down or avoiding. Both ar...

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Fantastic emotions and where to find them guides you to where you begin to access your power within your emotions. You often hear emotions spoken of as powerful. However, it's really YOU who are powerful. The problem is we aren’t taught to understand the dynamics of our emotions. Instead, we are conditioned to avoid unpleasant emotions and simultaneously hope that the enjoyable ones will eventually be earned. This leaves us fee...

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Deep self-care is necessary to shift habits in an effective and healthy way. The “stop it” or “just do it” model often isn’t sustainable and can even be harmful. Habits make up a lot of the way we show up in life. Thus, they can become confused with personality and limit what we believe possible. Our societal norms are made up of collective habits. Similarly, most collective habits are so internalized that we stop seeing them as as...

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July 6, 2022 42 min

Do you want to build a habit? Or does the idea stress you out? Habits are often a focal point in conversations around personal development, business development, career development, etc. When we talk about habits the conversation is usually about changing them and the emphasis is on control. These conversations are often full of sense of judgment around what are deemed "good" and "bad" habits and a pressure "be ...

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June 29, 2022 21 min

Give yourself a break, you are not a machine. Hustle culture tells us that we should have everything planned, systematized, and organized. It says that, if you do this well enough, then you will be successful, happy, and stress-free. But failure is part of growth. Unhappiness, discomfort, anger, overwhelm, etc. are normal emotions when it's time to do something different. In this time of change that is naturally, understandably...

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June 15, 2022 32 min

Finding time to proactively plan is hard in a world where our attention is constantly in demand. It is especially difficult to find time to plan when your plan involves doing something new. First, you must navigate a society designed to keep you busy – physically busy, mentally busy, emotionally busy. Second, you must face your own internal resistance from fear based in limiting beliefs, conflicting values, shifting relationships, ...

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How to create a plan you’ll follow through on starts with setting a clear foundation for that plan. Many clients come to me when they aren’t following through on achieving something they want. Even when they have a plan, they still aren’t doing what they think they need to do to achieve it. Once we dig in the reason is usually based in a lack of clarity around what they really want. Or more specifically, the motivation underneath w...

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May 18, 2022 34 min

The courage to change comes from inside of you but requires and deserves support from others. You need other people to help you see and hear yourself clearly as well as to see more clearly what needs to change. This is especially true the easier it is for you to fit into and follow the conventional rules of society. One of those rules being that we’re supposed to be fully self-reliant. If you are not it indicates weakness and defic...

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Breaking free from assumptions and misaligned rules is a multi-layered process. We all have rules for how we believe we are supposed to do life. They are tied to our values, to societal norms, and the stories we’ve been told about who we are and the way the world is. Since we do not exist outside of a societal context, we must acknowledge the influence of societal stories as we engage our own programing. First, looking at the rules...

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A roundtable to improve your perception is necessary because perception isn’t just an inside job. The inside part is only the first step. You do need the willingness to expand and the courage to change. Then, improving your perception requires conversations and learning from others who have different experiences. Only through this next level of awareness expansion can we make the meaningful and effective changes needed to make a be...

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April 6, 2022 38 min

Helpful vs harmful mindset work is a critical distinction to make for anyone interested in real change. Too many of the problems our society faces are framed as individual issues and placed on individuals to solve. First, this fails to address the real issues and instead perpetuates them. Second, it has developed a billion-dollar industry that feeds on itself. Mindset work IS powerful and CAN make a huge difference in your life.  T...

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March 16, 2022 38 min

Shift from drained to motivated by understanding five commonly internalized values that often work against women. Our values are beliefs that motivate us and drive our decisions. Not all the values we hold are intentionally chosen values. Actually, many of them are internalized beliefs from important adults when we were young, as well as beliefs emphasized by the society that we live in. Even if we consciously think about them one ...

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How to stop reacting and start responding starts with understanding that internal reactivity is normal. It happens when your brain perceives a threat. That internal reaction doesn’t differentiate between a real or imagined threat or between an emotional or physical threat. Some of our most common reactivity comes from a perceived threat to our values. When this happens it’s important to first acknowledge that there’s nothing wrong ...

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February 16, 2022 36 min

Clarifying what you want can be overwhelming, especially when you’re stressed out where you are now.  Gaining clarity is something a lot of clients initially come to me for help with. It’s one thing to recognize that you don’t like the way things are. That’s a helpful first step. Next, you want to find what you DO want, which is much harder because there are so many obstacles to clarity. Many of these obstacles are internalized sto...

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February 2, 2022 39 min

How to manifest what you want in life is a fairly mainstream topic these days, yet it's also typically misunderstood. It's misunderstood because it's a concept popularized by books like The Secret and The Law of Attraction. This concept of manifestation is based in problematic pseudoscience. It relates to believing something into existence and it is closely related to the toxic use of positivity. True manifestation does...

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