UnMuted Love - Episode 60: When Your Child's Anger Feels Like A Personal Attack: Understanding Your Narcissistic Wounding

Does your child’s rage or rejection feel like it slices right through your chest? You’re not imagining it—it really does hurt. But often, that pain isn’t just about what’s happening in the moment. It’s an old wound—your wound—being reactivated.

In this episode of Unmuted Love, Ce unpacks the sneaky way your child’s trauma behaviors can poke at your deepest places of shame, rejection, and unworthiness—what psychology calls narcissistic wounding.

We’ll talk about:

• What narcissistic wounding actually is (spoiler: not what it sounds like).
• The kinds of childhood experiences that create it.
• Why kids from difficult beginnings are experts at accidentally triggering it.
• Real-life parent/child scenarios where wounds flare.
• Tools for staying grounded so you can parent from your wise self, not your wounded self.
• Why this is not a sign you’re broken—it’s actually an invitation to heal.

You’ll walk away knowing how to spot your own “triggers” and how to step back into your compassionate self—even when it feels personal.

Because here’s the truth: when you heal these old wounds, you don’t just change your story—you change your child’s story, too.

Resources:

Parenting the Hurt Child by Gregory Keck & Regina Kupecky

Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience After Neglect and Trauma by Deborah D. Gray

These are recommended for adoptive and foster caregivers to understand trauma's impact on child development and to build resilience-supportive homes. 

The Primal Wound by Nancy Newton Verrier

Considered a seminal work exploring the emotional and identity-related wounds of adoptees, helping adoptive parents empathize with adoptees’ inner experiences.

From Ce Eshelman:

Are you searching for a community of parents who will get you; who offer an attentive ear and open arms in the worst of times; who give you a standing ovation for the monumentally big "small steps" forward you make with your child? It is so painful to walk the jagged trail of this parenting journey alone and no one is ever alone in the Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Program. You will feel seen, understood, and actually deeply cared for. We know it as "love." The Society is a virtual program for parents of children who experienced trauma and others who support them or work with them professionally. You don't have to wait a minute longer. We are right here waiting for YOU!

Read the companion blog -- https://www.lovemattersparenting.com/blog/shame-is-not-your-family-heirloom

Additional Resources:

📖 Get your copy of Drowning with My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman

✨ Hear the Success Stories: LoveMattersParenting.com/testimonials

🔍 Check out my websites: LoveMattersParenting.com and AttachPlace.com

🧐 Check out my blog: https://www.lovemattersparenting.com/blog

👉 Check out my Social:

🔹YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CeEshelman

🔹 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovemattersparenting

🔹 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lovemattersparenting

"Unmuted Love with Ce Eshelman" is a free podcast for parents of children from difficult beginnings of adoption and abuse trauma. Ce is an adoptive mom of two, step-mom of two, and an Attachment and Trauma Specialist. The Unmuted Love Podcast is part of .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}