May 13, 2025 • 34 mins
Radical Generosity serves as the focal point of our discourse in this enlightening episode, wherein we engage with Mark Young, the esteemed CEO of Rise Agency and the accomplished author of the eponymous book. Mark elucidates the pivotal lesson that one’s existence should be characterized by the impact one has on the world, a sentiment that resonates profoundly throughout our conversation. We delve into the various dimensions of generosity, exploring not merely the act of giving but the profound effects of sharing wisdom and fostering connections with others. Our dialogue further reflects on the significance of nurturing one’s own well-being as a precursor to effectively contributing to the lives of others. As we traverse these themes, we aim to inspire listeners to cultivate a mindset rooted in generosity, thereby enhancing their leadership capacities and enriching their communities.
The Unstoppable Leadership Spotlight podcast presents a compelling dialogue centered around the theme of radical generosity, as articulated by esteemed guest Mark Young, CEO of Rise Agency. The conversation delves into Young's latest literary offering, aptly titled "Radical Generosity," which serves as a manifesto for living a life defined by the positive impact one can impart upon the world. Young articulates a profound inquiry that resonates deeply with the listeners: what will the narrative of our lives reflect when we are no longer present to narrate it ourselves? This pivotal question encapsulates the essence of legacy and the importance of being intentional in our actions and decisions today.
Throughout the episode, Young emphasizes the necessity of cultivating a mindset that prioritizes generosity, not solely in terms of financial contributions but also in the sharing of wisdom, time, and presence. He elucidates the physiological benefits of generosity, citing research that links altruistic behaviors to positive emotional states. By fostering an environment in which individuals feel empowered to give freely, both to others and themselves, one can contribute to a more compassionate society. Young's insights challenge the prevalent scarcity mentality that often discourages generosity and encourage listeners to rethink their approach to leadership and community engagement.
In conclusion, this episode serves as a clarion call for individuals to reflect on their values and the impact they wish to have on those around them. Young's narrative is not just an invitation to practice generosity; it is a profound reminder that true leadership transcends personal ambition, urging us to elevate others as we navigate our journeys. The episode leaves listeners with actionable insights and a renewed commitment to fostering a culture of generosity in their personal and professional lives.
Takeaways:
- The essence of leadership lies in the profound impact we have on others' lives.
- Generosity is not merely an act of giving but a transformative approach to leadership.
- One's life narrative is ultimately defined by the legacy of influence and kindness left behind.
- True leadership involves fostering an environment where wisdom and generosity are shared abundantly.
Links referenced in this episode:
- themarkyoung.com
- Radical Generosity, By Mark Young. Get the book:https://amzn.to/4lUDUwY
Mentioned in this episode:
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Unstoppable Leadership Spotlight - Welcome
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(00:58):
Well, hello everybody andwelcome to another amazing episode
of the Unstoppable LeadershipSpotlight podcast. I'm your host,
Jaclyn Strominger, and we hearon this podcast from amazing leaders
and their game changinginsights and ways that we can make
the world filled with betterleaders and better stewards of our
society. Because, you know,when that happens, we create a better
(01:21):
world in general. So today wehave an amazing guest, Mark Young.
He is the CEO of Rise Agency.We're not necessarily going to talk
about that, but we're going totalk about the book that he has just
come out with. And by the way,this is not his first, this is third.
It is Radical Generosity. So Icannot wait for this conversation
(01:41):
because we were having a preshow conversation and it's really
great stuff. So welcome, Mark,to Unstoppable Leadership Spotlight.
Well, thank you, Jaclyn. Ialways appreciate a good invite.
So, Mark, you know, tell me alittle, you know, you know, the book
Radical Generosity, you know,if you could say like one thing to
(02:05):
the listeners, and I knowthere's lots of bits in there, but
what is the biggest lessonthat you want people to walk away
with?
Let your life story be definedby the impact you've had on the world.
Your life story defined by theimpact that you've had on this world.
Absolutely. One of the thingsthat I actually talk about, there's,
(02:27):
there's a phrase in this bookand sometimes your own words kind
of haunt you. And, and there'sa, there's a line in the book that
I repeat to myself all thetime. And that is, what will the
story of my life be when I'mno longer the one telling it? Because
right now I get to control thenarrative, right? And I can defend
(02:49):
me and I can pivot and if I dosomething wrong, I can apologize.
And I still have theopportunity and, you know, pray to
God, years left to come. Butwhen I'm not here to tell that story
anymore, what will that storybe? Because I don't get to control
it anymore. And yet mychallenge is to me and to anybody
(03:09):
listening is what are we doingabout that today? What, what impact
is it that I'm able to have ona life other than my own today that
will lead to a future storythat I want told about me when I'm
not here anymore?
It's a great question to ask.So let me ask you the question. When
(03:30):
you are no longer here, do youthink about that story? About how
about the words that peoplewill say about you?
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Andit's, and it's not in a fear based
way. Let me say this. And thatis some people are like, well, I
don't want people to talk badabout me. And it's like, I don't,
you know, that, that I'm nottoo worried about. Like they do that
(03:52):
now. But, but it's not thefear of someone saying something
negative. It's a, when I can'tdo anymore. Will it, will it be enough
to, to make a. I don't want tosay to make a good story of me because
I'm trying not to make me thehero of that story. But in fact,
we're all the hero of our own story.
Right?
You know, and it's like, isthat story enough that, that people
(04:15):
will remember me in a way thatsays, wow, he really impacted my
life. Or I'm so glad I knewthat guy. Or you know, nobody blank
the way Mark did. Like, thoseare the types of stories and some
people are remembered forhundreds of years and some people
for minutes. And, and, andthe, and the reality is it's like
(04:35):
I just want to know that thisplace is better because I was in
it.
And so talk to me about how,you know, because that's a huge,
that's a huge.
You know, existential crisis.
Well, yeah, you know, I waslike. Well, because I think about,
you know, I think about likethe things that are going through
(04:56):
my mind are, you know, theimpact that you have on as a leader.
Like you've got an agency,you've got a business, so the impact
that you're having on thosepeople that ha. That are in your
fold, your team members. Youknow, I don't look at people's employees.
They're all team members, youknow, they're partners in our, in
our business and life. So theimpact that you're having on, on
(05:17):
those amazing people, like,what is, what is that lifelong going
to look like? And then lookingback, you know, if you're sitting
up here looking back down onlife, you know, how do you, you know,
you know, what's that, what'sthat vision to keep it going?
Yeah. So, and I'll, I'll saythis, and that is there's a, you
(05:38):
know, throughout the bookRadical Generosity. It was, it was
a book that I had written kindof just out of my own, whatever you
want to call it, my owncraziness or whatnot. But the reality
is, is that I've always wantedto live a life that was generous.
I've always wanted to be aperson who gave freely without fear.
And I believe that There is ascarcity mentality that's gotten
(06:00):
created in our culture. Andthat is, for me, to give to you means
less for me and more for you.And the reality is that. And again,
not to keep referencing backto a book, but when I give, I get.
And sometimes that getting isa different level of equivalency.
And I'll give the example, andthat is research has actually shown
(06:22):
that when people even thinkabout giving something to somebody
they care about, or evensomeone they don't know, like literally,
that helper's high kind ofoxytocin release actually physiologically
gives them a hit in theirbrain. Like, giving is almost like
a drug that I give to somebodyand I have a chemical reaction in
(06:42):
my brain. And what we learnphysiologically is it's no different.
Oxytocin is the love drug,right? Like, that's the hit. Like
someone gives you a hug, youget an oxytocin release. That's why
they say physical touch andhugging people is important in life,
because that physical touchactually releases an endorphin in
the brain that is a moodstabilizer. But that mood stabilizer
(07:04):
not only increases our abilityto be in a good mood, but it actually
brings us from a sympatheticdown to a parasympathetic nervous
system. And by the way, I'm ascience geek, but from a sympathetic
nervous system.
I like that stuff too.
Oh, so sympathetic nervoussystem for your listeners, is that
fight or flight state thatwhen we're in a state of somebody
(07:24):
being in a survival mode. Whatfight or flight means that only the
systems in the body that arerequired for survival get any kind
of attention from the brain,which means, you know, digestive
systems, sex organs,everything else, everything shuts
down. Because the only thingthat matters right now is I need
the heart, I need the brain, Ineed the lungs. Which is why you'll
(07:45):
notice when people get inthose types of states, their breathing
patterns change, heart rateaccelerates, mental clarity and energy
completely, focuses on onething, not many. It's that survival
instinct that kicks in. In aparasympathetic state, in that nervous
system response there is whatthey call the rest and digest. And
that is when. When your gut isdigesting the way it should and metabolic
(08:09):
processes return to normal,where your nervous system is downregulated,
your heart rate levels out,your breathing levels out, your blood
flow increases. All of thesethings actually happen in a parasympathetic
state. Getting a person who'sin a panic state, think of a child
who's crying. This is aSympathetic nervous system response.
The child is upset, somethingis wrong, they're in a survival state.
(08:31):
Hold that child for a momentand you'll notice that child calms.
There's a safety. Everythinggoes back to normal. So the thing
is giving, and even thethought of giving does the exact
same thing as a hug. Likebeing able to meet a need in somebody
(08:52):
else actually gives ussomething in return sometimes, you
know, and I've got this. Thismindset that if my life's falling
apart, the best thing I can dois just go do something nice for
someone else.
Right? Right.
And part of it, part. And it'snot fix my own problems. Sometimes
it's a, hey, you know what?Things suck. So you know what I'm
going to do? I'm going to godo something nice. And doing a kind
(09:12):
act of any sorts actuallyhelps down regulate. Like, be in
a bad mood and just go pay forthe coffee in line for the person
behind you, mood changes. Andit's not just because, oh, you know,
okay, well, I snapped out ofit is what we tell people, right?
Like, we use those types ofphrases that, you know, oh, well,
I snapped out of it. I'm finenow. No, there's physically things
(09:35):
we can do to, to, todownregulate that nervous system
and to actually make acognizant shift. And generosity is
one of them. And that's one ofthe ways that we can do that. And
there, there's multiple wayswe can do that, by the way. And as
you and I were even talkingpre show, it's like, you know, sure,
I can buy something forsomeone. I can give to charity, I
(09:55):
can feed to this. All of thoseare financially related. But the
reality is the financialaspects of giving are only one of
what I call five differentpillars of generosity. And that is,
sure, I can give you my money,but Jaclyn, I'll give you the example.
Like, I can give somebody mytime. Maybe it's volunteerism. Maybe
it's just helping theneighbor. Maybe it's mowing the lawn,
(10:18):
doing the snow removal for theperson next door who can't do it.
Like, whatever those are actsof time, there's wisdom. I'm a business
owner, right? I'm a businessowner who has been in business for
many years, and I have astaff, but there's a lot of other
people who even I, just beforeI got on this call, was on the phone
with a potential client who'sexcited to work with us. But I'm
(10:40):
giving. Granted, it's abusiness transaction. I understand.
But before it even turned intoa business transaction. I approach
every one of thoseconversations I have with my best
advice. Whether you ever dobusiness with me or not. I'm not
withholding my knowledgebecause by withholding my knowledge,
all I'm doing is trying tomanipulate you into signing a contract.
(11:01):
I'm going to give you my bestwork before you ever write me a check,
and then hope that maybe thatturns into a check because you see
that I'm being transparent.But if it doesn't, man, I want to
do great things with you.
Right?
And there's a. There's agenerosity of presence. How do I
show up in my relationshipswhen I'm out to dinner with a friend
(11:23):
or family member or on a date?Is my phone sitting on the table?
Am I distracted? Am I thinkingabout me rather than how I can be
part of that other person? Andthen the last one that I actually
want to articulate and maybespend a minute on is this idea of
being generous towards myself.And that is, you know, the flight
(11:46):
crew tells you to put your ownmask on before helping the passenger
beside you. And there's no waythat I can be a person who's giving
if I never receive and I nevernurture my own soul. And there is.
There is an act of generositytowards me that needs to take place.
Either I need fed so that Ican feed, and that's, you know, empty
(12:08):
cups can't pour in.
I was just gonna say, youknow, the. There is a really great
kids book. It's, it's. Andit's all about filling the cup, filling
somebody's cup. Right. Andthat. And so as I'm thinking about,
like, we have to keep our owncup. When our cup drains, we drain.
And so as you're just sharing,you know, you have to feed that cup
(12:32):
and fill it. Otherwise, again,you can't help other people. You
know, if that cup is filledwith water and you need to. And there's
lots of people that arethirsty and you're part of that spigot,
you kind of have to keep. Yougot to fill that up so.
That you can give 100%.
Right?
100%. And I can only give outof my own abundance.
Right?
(12:52):
And I think that is. That is apiece that for a lot of people is
missing. Simply because thereis a. What I want to say that there's.
There's a misconception thatdoing something for me is selfish,
you know, when in fact, doingsomething for me is often the way
that I'm able to do somethingfor someone else. Like, it puts me
(13:14):
in a position of ability tojust simply be there. So sometimes
it is the most. I say it's theholiest thing a person can do is
to take a nap some days.Because the reality is, and I know
me, I know just as much as Ican get into that oxytocin generosity,
I'm happy with everybody'sstate. I can also move in the other
(13:35):
direction very quickly. Andit's when I find a way to have the
emotional maturity to selfregulate and say, okay, I'm in a
really bad place right now. Iwas in a meeting just this morning.
I'll confess and say I'm in areally good mood right now. We're
good. We're having a goodtime. My last meeting was nice, but
my first meeting of the daywasn't, and it was a very disappointing
meeting. And I actually satquiet through most of it. And our
(13:59):
COO was leading the meetingand I stayed very quiet and it was
very obvious to a room full ofpeople that I was quiet. And, and,
and I said, I'm like, look, I,I'm just, I'm still processing some
of what happened yesterday,which, you know, there was, there
was some chaos yesterday. AndI'm like, I'm still processing that.
And until I have something toadd, it's best I don't add. Like
(14:22):
my act of generosity right.Right now is my silence.
Right. Right. In some. Yeah.It's almost like going back to saying,
don't say anything unless youhave something nice to say or you
don't know. You have to usethe right words to say something.
And sometimes it's reallyabsolutely to know that.
And I need to say things in a,in a way that brings, you know. Well,
let me say this. My team is ateam that I want to work with. And
(14:46):
because I want to work withthem, I need to be careful about
my words because there's somedays that I may not want to. You
know, it's. It's the marriage,right, where you're furious. Don't
say divorce because you don'tput that one away. Like, you can
be mad, you can do whatever,but it's like I had an ex who, who
was big into like name callingduring arguing, and just look at
(15:09):
her. Like, how, like, how doesthat seem? Approved. Like, I understand
you're upset about something.We don't agree on this.
Right.
But I see no need in calling aname because I can't put that away.
Right?
Like, you can't take those,those words. Don't go back, you know,
and sometimes, like I said,sometimes the generosity is in silence.
It's a. I'm not going torespond to you. And that's how I'm
(15:32):
going to give to you right nowis because I'm going to choose not
to. To do those things. Butthis entire book has been a passion
project for me, Jaclyn. Youknow, and it's a weird topic because
when I say things like, youknow, this has been my heartbeat,
it's like, yeah, it's truelike this. You know, I, I spend my
(15:53):
life trying to live as agenerous person, but at the same
time, it's not to stroke myown ego and tell everybody how wonderful
I am. Right, Right. And it'slike when we did our book launch
last week, as I was tellingyou, like, we had a few people that
came up and spoke during thebook launch, and our entire intention
behind it was, you know, let'shave a speaking moment. Let's have
(16:14):
some people come in and share.And we had some, some great people,
some. Some other authors. Wehad the, you know, former sheriff
of the city of Austin. We had,like, several people come up and
spoke, but the entire topicwas not about how they've been generous,
but rather how other people'sgenerosity has impacted their lives,
because that's a safe topic.And I can tell you, people's generosity
(16:36):
has impacted me in crazy ways.Like, even our team, as we sat around
lunch that day, it was like,tell me about the time that somebody
has been impactful to you. Howhas somebody fed into you? And it
was, and I'm going to say itwas crazy to hear the stories that
people shared because justthere are corners of other people's
(16:57):
lives that you may never hearabout. And yet clearly important
moments, like when you asksomebody, what is something that
someone else has done and beengenerous to you? I'm going to share
a story. A young guy on ourteam, great guy. He's a young black
man. And he said about how hewent to college in a town that was,
that was not. And he's justsuch a good guy that was not very
(17:19):
integrated. And he said duringone particular holiday, most of the
people who went to schoolthere actually went home for the
holidays. But him and a coupleof friends of his that were there
who all happened,coincidentally, to be black men,
they actually stayed in townfor the holiday. And he's like, well,
we had an honors banquetcoming up where we were getting awards
(17:40):
for, you know, sportsperformance as well as academic performance
and so on. He goes, I didn'thave a suit. And he's like. And me
and a couple of my friendswent to J.C. penney's to buy a suit,
and one of the ladies in thestore, one of the shopkeepers or
the. The retail workers,accused them of shoplifting and called
the police. And he says, youknow, and again, great guy. I believe
(18:05):
him that nothing weird wasgoing on. And this was his story
about how someone had beenradically generous towards him, was.
She accused us of shopliftingand called the police. So when security
came, they detained him untilthe police got there. And when the
police started questioningthem, he's like, we were sitting
here, like. But we literallydidn't do anything. He's like, we're
trying to buy a suit for anhonors banquet. And he said in. This
(18:27):
little lady who was in thereactually stepped up and said, I've
been in the store the entiretime that these young men have been
here, and I've simply watchedthem shopping. They've done nothing
wrong. And he said, and hergenerosity and risking her own self
and her whatever, stepped upand said, these young men did nothing
(18:50):
wrong. And he said. And thepolice suddenly, like, changed, and
he. And I forget what her namewas. Miss Betty or something. He
was telling her. And he'slike, she just stood up for a group
of guys that was doing nothingwrong and said, these young men have
just literally been shoppingin the store. Like, this lady is
making an accusation based onrace, and that's not fair. He's like,
she came to our graduation.She came to the banquet. And he's
(19:13):
like, we've stayed in contact.He's like, I still hear from her.
And it was just. And it wasjust funny because I wouldn't know
that. Like, he's just. He's agreat guy. And. And we're just sitting.
A bunch of us are sittingaround lunch, and, you know, so tell
me some. Someone's beengenerous towards you. And then he
tells me this terrible storyabout profiling. I'm like, oh, my
(19:35):
gosh. Like, what a greatstory, but what a sad story, right?
It's got both. So, you know,this is.
So.
This is like. You know, it'sbringing me back to a conversation
that I recently had withanother guest that was on and something
that he shared. And I. And Iwant to kind of bring back this generosity
about giving and leadership,which is. And you said, you know,
(19:56):
even when you're havingconversations with, you know, a prospective
client, it's. It's theinformation that you can give. You
know, whether it's Advice ortips or, you know, you know, so that
you're sharing of yourself andyour knowledge. And I want to bring
it to the same concept atleadership, because this idea of
(20:18):
really being generosity with,being generous with your wisdom goes
really, really far inleadership. So the example is that
I had a guest on and he wastalking about his path to being major
(20:40):
CEO of a company, and he said,I owe it to X person at X company
who brought me under theirwing and didn't. It wasn't. I was
not an adversary. They, theyinstilled wisdom on me to help me
(21:02):
be better, to help meflourish. And, and I think this is
something that I, that I alsojust want to, you know, for the guests
listening to this, this is ahuge insight to be generous with
your wisdom, because as aleader, the people that are on your
(21:23):
team that are working withyou, the biggest thing you can do
is share wisdom to help themget that wisdom, to help them become
great leaders themselves.
Well, if I can add somethingin there and 100% agree with you.
But to take it next level,that is wisdom is the resource that
(21:45):
not everyone has. We all havesome amount of money, even though
some have more than others,and we all have the same amount of
time and we all have the sameability to be present in our situations.
But when it comes to wisdom,it starts narrowing the funnel there,
right? Fewer people have theability to give that resource, which
(22:05):
in my opinion means, meansit's more incumbent on those of us
who have that to be willing toshare. And it's, and there's a belief
or a misconception, I think ina lot of circles that if I have knowledge
in an industry or I have asecret sauce, like, I need to hoard
this so that I have security.Because the fewer people that know
(22:28):
this, the more, the more, theless commoditized I am, you know,
the more special I am, thefewer people who know what I know.
And, and I think that makes ussmaller people.
I would agree. It makes, youknow, it does. And when we think
that we're holding on tosomething, to think that it's going
(22:50):
to be like, oh, my God, I havethis. It's my carrot. In actuality,
share the carrots. Right?Share, you know, and, you know, because
people are going to look atyou like, oh, my God, Mark has all
this great wisdom and he is,he shares it with other people or
he has this knowledge and Ialways like it reminds me of, you
(23:12):
know, if, of, you know, DaleCarnegie said it, you know, you want
to hire people that aresmarter than you to help them rise
up. It's the same thing. Ifyou can instill that wisdom and the
knowledge that you have andgive it to other people that they,
because they don't have that,you're just going to make it better.
You're going to make the worldbetter and the people around you
better. It's so key.
(23:33):
It's absolutely, and I thinkit's important for us to bear that
in mind. And that is, it's a,it's a lesson hard learned. But you
know, I've had people who haveinvested in my life. You know, when
we were sitting around thatlunch table, you know who's invested
in you? And I'm like, I've gota lot of examples, but the one that
really stands out was I, in apast career I was a college professor
and then later turnedadministrator at private university.
(23:57):
And I remember our coo likethat guy just invested in me. And
I, and I laughingly call himMaster Yoda because in his own weird
way he grew me upprofessionally. And to this day there
are things that he would sayto me that I use his wisdom because
he invested. And sometimes itwas just a dozen words and just with
(24:22):
his words he challenged mythinking. Like I remember one time
calling him with a Fridaycrisis and I had this and I needed,
you know, tell me what, whatare you thinking? This is what I'm
thinking. We go through thiswhole conversation and he listens
to me and I'm like, you'rejust my sounding board right now,
but I need to make a decisionon this and blah, blah, blah. And
he's like, hey, go buy thisbook, Call me Monday. And I'm like,
(24:48):
thank you. Like, and, and youknow what? I went and bought the
book. I called him Monday andI'm like, thanks, I'm good. And,
and the, it was a MalcolmGladwell book called Blink, which
is an amazing book. AndGladwell's entire premise in the
book is all aboutunderstanding how to trust your gut
reflexes and not overridingyour gut reaction to something with
(25:11):
logic. And, and his entirepremise was, you're thinking too
much. You know the answer toyour problem, you're thinking too
much. And when my follow upconversation when I called him and
was like, got it, we're good.He, he left and he's like, his words
were super, super minimal. Yougot good instincts. Quit questioning
(25:32):
yourself. And, and that wasit, right? And to this, to this day,
and I laugh because I think mystaff sometimes thinks I'm, I'm Barbaric
because I will meet aninterview or a new hire and I'm like,
nope, not the right person.And I get the, I get the side glances
of you're not even giving thema chance. And it's like, sorry, I've
(25:55):
done this enough times that Iknow who's going to work and who's
not going to work because I'vejust not my first rodeo. And you
know, and I'm like, no, youcan, you can give them a try and
see what you do. I'm justgoing to tell you how this predicts
because I learned to trust mygut. And that was through the generosity
of a mentor who gave mepermission to do that.
(26:16):
Right. Key thing is. Yeah,permission. And it's so cute. You
know, it's curious when, whenit comes to those, I think certain
things like your gut, it, it'sthere for a reason and it tells you
and it speaks to you forsomething. And we do need to trust
it if you. And part of that,and I'm just going to share about
the hiring part is, you know,some of that gut is, makes up the
values that you have. And ifthe person that's in an interview
(26:39):
situation, you can almost likeinstinctively know, like not, not
the values that I want tohave. And it's so, so important.
Yeah. And I'll say like mybackground is in clinical psychology,
so it comes out quite a bit.But what I will say is what you're
referring to is what we call alimbic response. And that is that
(27:00):
the subconscious mind processis faster than the conscious mind.
And when you meet somebody,what ends up happening is your limbic
response, which is actuallythe, the sensory area in the brain
that recognizes, recognize asdanger. What we call a gut reaction
is actually your subconsciousmind processing information that
(27:22):
is reminiscent of pastinformation. So when, when you meet
a person, there may besomething about them, whether it's
the, the way they look, theway they speak, the way they smell.
Any of those types ofsituations trigger subconscious memories.
And your body responds in theway that it responded the last time
(27:42):
that stimulus was, was, wassensed. So you know, you meet somebody
and it just feels wrong.Right. Well, what's happening there?
Well, trace that back and Iguarantee you you'll find that there
was somebody else who didthat. You'll, you know, for instance,
you'll, you'll see. Like a lotof times I see this in women. Women
tend to be a little moreintuitive anyways. But you'll notice
(28:05):
it with a woman who meets aman and he just Creeps her out, right?
Like, oh, yeah, like, you knowwhat I'm talking about. You're a
woman. I'm sure you've beenaround some men that you're just
like, like that guy.
There's one that's, that comesright to my mind right now.
There you go. And the realityis, is that that person is likely.
If you were to meet somebodywho exhibited similar characteristics
(28:27):
to that guy, you'd have thesame response. And it could be nothing
more than the cologne the guywore. But your body says danger.
Some stimulus is at asubconscious level, triggered some
kind of danger response to youand said, danger, be careful. And
then what happens often isthat we get into. And from a hiring
standpoint, let me draw thatconnection. Sometimes we meet a person
(28:50):
who behaved the way a pastemployee behaved, and, you know,
this person came in, answeredquestions the same way as a past
employee, and you know howthat ended.
Right. They're no longerthere. You're obviously not good.
Right.
It's a past employee. Thatperson's not here anymore. It reminds
me of an uncomfortable orunpleasurable experience in the past.
(29:12):
And my brain says, don't dothat twice. And that's really, that's
what a gut is, you know, thatis the check. And subconsciously,
that data comes first. Andthen consciously, we tend to logic
our way around it and like,oh, but the resume is so good. And,
oh, the education backgroundis so good. And the person dressed
up really pretty and, youknow, and part of you is just like,
(29:36):
like, I just, I. Yeah. And,and it's like, and I've just learned,
you know, when you talk aboutsharing wisdom, like, I, I do this
with my team. Like, I'll meetsomebody that they're all excited
about, and I'm like, no, like,I think you're making a mistake.
And they're like, why? I'mlike, because I can predict that
you're going to end up in thispattern. And if they make the decision
anyways, because I allow it.If they make the decision anyways,
(29:58):
nine out of ten times, youknow, there's a, you know, and I
don't do the I told you sobecause we all lose. Right.
But they might come back andsay, mark, you're right, I, I, or,
or you know what? Yeah, theycould. Yeah.
And then the next time, theymay trust my, my gut on something
or train their own.
Right. Right. So, Mark, Icould talk to you for hours because
(30:22):
I love the whole psychologyof, like, business too. And I mean,
like, there's so much I'm likeI'm thinking about, you know, my
coaching, but anabolic andcatabolic energy. And I was like,
there's a whole part of thattoo. I mean, you know, so I can hours
on that. But, you know, youreally have shared some really great
insights and I think, youknow, listeners, you know, to be
(30:43):
a great leader. You know,again, there's lots of different
ways that we can be generousand generous with your time, your
wisdom with, you know, yes,you can give gifts and things like
that, but really think aboutthe wisdom that you can impart on
the people that are in yourfold. So, Mark, share with us. You
know, where can people get thebooks? How can they connect with
you, get more of your wisdom?
(31:05):
Well, I'm willing to shareanything I have. I'm not going to
talk it up. But anybody whowants to go, just go to themarkyoung.com
that t h e markyoung.com alleasy words to spell. You can go find
me there. You can find anynumber of things there, including
links to my Instagrams,including book sales for, for any
(31:26):
of my books are for salethere, contacts to my, my business,
my marketing agency. All ofthat stuff is available right@themarkyoung.com
which makes it really easy. Orthey can go find me on Amazon if
they're looking to buy a bookthere. Or for that matter, they are
also more than welcome todownload at Apple Books or Audible
(31:46):
or any of the audio places. Itell everybody, if you're listening
to the audio, listen to it at1.4. And that actually sounds like
me. Listen to it at 1.4.That's actually the way I talk. So
the way I read may be a littlebit slower.
That's so funny. Oh my God. Ilisten to a lot of things at 1.5
(32:07):
because it's like the onepoint that just like one, like. Yeah,
it's a little slow for mebecause I'm, I'm from, I'm from New
England and so I talk fast andexactly, exactly. Do things that.
So Mark, I have just lovedthis conversation. Thank you so much
for being an amazing guest andlisteners. If you have gotten value
out of this, which I'm sureyou have, because I know I have.
Click subscribe. Also, pleaseshare this episode with your friends,
(32:30):
colleagues because, you know,again, sharing is caring. And if
you can also just head over toall of the things that market, go
to the Mark Young. Well, his.What? Oh my God, I can't speak right
now. The website, you said themark young.com and just connect with
Mark there as well. So, again,thank you so much for listening to
(32:52):
the Unstoppable LeadershipSpotlight podcast. I'm Jaclyn Schuminger.
And again, thank you all forlistening. And thank you, Mark.
Thank you, Jaclyn.
Well, hello everybody andwelcome to another amazing episode
of the Unstoppable LeadershipSpotlight podcast. I'm your host,
Jaclyn Strominger, and we hearon this podcast from amazing leaders
and their game changinginsights and ways that we can make
the world filled with betterleaders and better stewards of our
society. Because, you know,when that happens, we create a better
(01:21):
world in general. So today wehave an amazing guest, Mark Young.
He is the CEO of Rise Agency.We're not necessarily going to talk
about that, but we're going totalk about the book that he has just
come out with. And by the way,this is not his first, this is third.
It is Radical Generosity. So Icannot wait for this conversation
(01:41):
because we were having a preshow conversation and it's really
great stuff. So welcome, Mark,to Unstoppable Leadership Spotlight.
Well, thank you, Jaclyn. Ialways appreciate a good invite.
So, Mark, you know, tell me alittle, you know, you know, the book
Radical Generosity, you know,if you could say like one thing to
(02:05):
the listeners, and I knowthere's lots of bits in there, but
what is the biggest lessonthat you want people to walk away
with?
Let your life story be definedby the impact you've had on the world.
Your life story defined by theimpact that you've had on this world.
Absolutely. One of the thingsthat I actually talk about, there's,
(02:27):
there's a phrase in this bookand sometimes your own words kind
of haunt you. And, and there'sa, there's a line in the book that
I repeat to myself all thetime. And that is, what will the
story of my life be when I'mno longer the one telling it? Because
right now I get to control thenarrative, right? And I can defend
(02:49):
me and I can pivot and if I dosomething wrong, I can apologize.
And I still have theopportunity and, you know, pray to
God, years left to come. Butwhen I'm not here to tell that story
anymore, what will that storybe? Because I don't get to control
it anymore. And yet mychallenge is to me and to anybody
(03:09):
listening is what are we doingabout that today? What, what impact
is it that I'm able to have ona life other than my own today that
will lead to a future storythat I want told about me when I'm
not here anymore?
It's a great question to ask.So let me ask you the question. When
(03:30):
you are no longer here, do youthink about that story? About how
about the words that peoplewill say about you?
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Andit's, and it's not in a fear based
way. Let me say this. And thatis some people are like, well, I
don't want people to talk badabout me. And it's like, I don't,
you know, that, that I'm nottoo worried about. Like they do that
(03:52):
now. But, but it's not thefear of someone saying something
negative. It's a, when I can'tdo anymore. Will it, will it be enough
to, to make a. I don't want tosay to make a good story of me because
I'm trying not to make me thehero of that story. But in fact,
we're all the hero of our own story.
Right?
You know, and it's like, isthat story enough that, that people
(04:15):
will remember me in a way thatsays, wow, he really impacted my
life. Or I'm so glad I knewthat guy. Or you know, nobody blank
the way Mark did. Like, thoseare the types of stories and some
people are remembered forhundreds of years and some people
for minutes. And, and, andthe, and the reality is it's like
(04:35):
I just want to know that thisplace is better because I was in
it.
And so talk to me about how,you know, because that's a huge,
that's a huge.
You know, existential crisis.
Well, yeah, you know, I waslike. Well, because I think about,
you know, I think about likethe things that are going through
(04:56):
my mind are, you know, theimpact that you have on as a leader.
Like you've got an agency,you've got a business, so the impact
that you're having on thosepeople that ha. That are in your
fold, your team members. Youknow, I don't look at people's employees.
They're all team members, youknow, they're partners in our, in
our business and life. So theimpact that you're having on, on
(05:17):
those amazing people, like,what is, what is that lifelong going
to look like? And then lookingback, you know, if you're sitting
up here looking back down onlife, you know, how do you, you know,
you know, what's that, what'sthat vision to keep it going?
Yeah. So, and I'll, I'll saythis, and that is there's a, you
(05:38):
know, throughout the bookRadical Generosity. It was, it was
a book that I had written kindof just out of my own, whatever you
want to call it, my owncraziness or whatnot. But the reality
is, is that I've always wantedto live a life that was generous.
I've always wanted to be aperson who gave freely without fear.
And I believe that There is ascarcity mentality that's gotten
(06:00):
created in our culture. Andthat is, for me, to give to you means
less for me and more for you.And the reality is that. And again,
not to keep referencing backto a book, but when I give, I get.
And sometimes that getting isa different level of equivalency.
And I'll give the example, andthat is research has actually shown
(06:22):
that when people even thinkabout giving something to somebody
they care about, or evensomeone they don't know, like literally,
that helper's high kind ofoxytocin release actually physiologically
gives them a hit in theirbrain. Like, giving is almost like
a drug that I give to somebodyand I have a chemical reaction in
(06:42):
my brain. And what we learnphysiologically is it's no different.
Oxytocin is the love drug,right? Like, that's the hit. Like
someone gives you a hug, youget an oxytocin release. That's why
they say physical touch andhugging people is important in life,
because that physical touchactually releases an endorphin in
the brain that is a moodstabilizer. But that mood stabilizer
(07:04):
not only increases our abilityto be in a good mood, but it actually
brings us from a sympatheticdown to a parasympathetic nervous
system. And by the way, I'm ascience geek, but from a sympathetic
nervous system.
I like that stuff too.
Oh, so sympathetic nervoussystem for your listeners, is that
fight or flight state thatwhen we're in a state of somebody
(07:24):
being in a survival mode. Whatfight or flight means that only the
systems in the body that arerequired for survival get any kind
of attention from the brain,which means, you know, digestive
systems, sex organs,everything else, everything shuts
down. Because the only thingthat matters right now is I need
the heart, I need the brain, Ineed the lungs. Which is why you'll
(07:45):
notice when people get inthose types of states, their breathing
patterns change, heart rateaccelerates, mental clarity and energy
completely, focuses on onething, not many. It's that survival
instinct that kicks in. In aparasympathetic state, in that nervous
system response there is whatthey call the rest and digest. And
that is when. When your gut isdigesting the way it should and metabolic
(08:09):
processes return to normal,where your nervous system is downregulated,
your heart rate levels out,your breathing levels out, your blood
flow increases. All of thesethings actually happen in a parasympathetic
state. Getting a person who'sin a panic state, think of a child
who's crying. This is aSympathetic nervous system response.
The child is upset, somethingis wrong, they're in a survival state.
(08:31):
Hold that child for a momentand you'll notice that child calms.
There's a safety. Everythinggoes back to normal. So the thing
is giving, and even thethought of giving does the exact
same thing as a hug. Likebeing able to meet a need in somebody
(08:52):
else actually gives ussomething in return sometimes, you
know, and I've got this. Thismindset that if my life's falling
apart, the best thing I can dois just go do something nice for
someone else.
Right? Right.
And part of it, part. And it'snot fix my own problems. Sometimes
it's a, hey, you know what?Things suck. So you know what I'm
going to do? I'm going to godo something nice. And doing a kind
(09:12):
act of any sorts actuallyhelps down regulate. Like, be in
a bad mood and just go pay forthe coffee in line for the person
behind you, mood changes. Andit's not just because, oh, you know,
okay, well, I snapped out ofit is what we tell people, right?
Like, we use those types ofphrases that, you know, oh, well,
I snapped out of it. I'm finenow. No, there's physically things
(09:35):
we can do to, to, todownregulate that nervous system
and to actually make acognizant shift. And generosity is
one of them. And that's one ofthe ways that we can do that. And
there, there's multiple wayswe can do that, by the way. And as
you and I were even talkingpre show, it's like, you know, sure,
I can buy something forsomeone. I can give to charity, I
(09:55):
can feed to this. All of thoseare financially related. But the
reality is the financialaspects of giving are only one of
what I call five differentpillars of generosity. And that is,
sure, I can give you my money,but Jaclyn, I'll give you the example.
Like, I can give somebody mytime. Maybe it's volunteerism. Maybe
it's just helping theneighbor. Maybe it's mowing the lawn,
(10:18):
doing the snow removal for theperson next door who can't do it.
Like, whatever those are actsof time, there's wisdom. I'm a business
owner, right? I'm a businessowner who has been in business for
many years, and I have astaff, but there's a lot of other
people who even I, just beforeI got on this call, was on the phone
with a potential client who'sexcited to work with us. But I'm
(10:40):
giving. Granted, it's abusiness transaction. I understand.
But before it even turned intoa business transaction. I approach
every one of thoseconversations I have with my best
advice. Whether you ever dobusiness with me or not. I'm not
withholding my knowledgebecause by withholding my knowledge,
all I'm doing is trying tomanipulate you into signing a contract.
(11:01):
I'm going to give you my bestwork before you ever write me a check,
and then hope that maybe thatturns into a check because you see
that I'm being transparent.But if it doesn't, man, I want to
do great things with you.
Right?
And there's a. There's agenerosity of presence. How do I
show up in my relationshipswhen I'm out to dinner with a friend
(11:23):
or family member or on a date?Is my phone sitting on the table?
Am I distracted? Am I thinkingabout me rather than how I can be
part of that other person? Andthen the last one that I actually
want to articulate and maybespend a minute on is this idea of
being generous towards myself.And that is, you know, the flight
(11:46):
crew tells you to put your ownmask on before helping the passenger
beside you. And there's no waythat I can be a person who's giving
if I never receive and I nevernurture my own soul. And there is.
There is an act of generositytowards me that needs to take place.
Either I need fed so that Ican feed, and that's, you know, empty
(12:08):
cups can't pour in.
I was just gonna say, youknow, the. There is a really great
kids book. It's, it's. Andit's all about filling the cup, filling
somebody's cup. Right. Andthat. And so as I'm thinking about,
like, we have to keep our owncup. When our cup drains, we drain.
And so as you're just sharing,you know, you have to feed that cup
(12:32):
and fill it. Otherwise, again,you can't help other people. You
know, if that cup is filledwith water and you need to. And there's
lots of people that arethirsty and you're part of that spigot,
you kind of have to keep. Yougot to fill that up so.
That you can give 100%.
Right?
100%. And I can only give outof my own abundance.
Right?
(12:52):
And I think that is. That is apiece that for a lot of people is
missing. Simply because thereis a. What I want to say that there's.
There's a misconception thatdoing something for me is selfish,
you know, when in fact, doingsomething for me is often the way
that I'm able to do somethingfor someone else. Like, it puts me
(13:14):
in a position of ability tojust simply be there. So sometimes
it is the most. I say it's theholiest thing a person can do is
to take a nap some days.Because the reality is, and I know
me, I know just as much as Ican get into that oxytocin generosity,
I'm happy with everybody'sstate. I can also move in the other
(13:35):
direction very quickly. Andit's when I find a way to have the
emotional maturity to selfregulate and say, okay, I'm in a
really bad place right now. Iwas in a meeting just this morning.
I'll confess and say I'm in areally good mood right now. We're
good. We're having a goodtime. My last meeting was nice, but
my first meeting of the daywasn't, and it was a very disappointing
meeting. And I actually satquiet through most of it. And our
(13:59):
COO was leading the meetingand I stayed very quiet and it was
very obvious to a room full ofpeople that I was quiet. And, and,
and I said, I'm like, look, I,I'm just, I'm still processing some
of what happened yesterday,which, you know, there was, there
was some chaos yesterday. AndI'm like, I'm still processing that.
And until I have something toadd, it's best I don't add. Like
(14:22):
my act of generosity right.Right now is my silence.
Right. Right. In some. Yeah.It's almost like going back to saying,
don't say anything unless youhave something nice to say or you
don't know. You have to usethe right words to say something.
And sometimes it's reallyabsolutely to know that.
And I need to say things in a,in a way that brings, you know. Well,
let me say this. My team is ateam that I want to work with. And
(14:46):
because I want to work withthem, I need to be careful about
my words because there's somedays that I may not want to. You
know, it's. It's the marriage,right, where you're furious. Don't
say divorce because you don'tput that one away. Like, you can
be mad, you can do whatever,but it's like I had an ex who, who
was big into like name callingduring arguing, and just look at
(15:09):
her. Like, how, like, how doesthat seem? Approved. Like, I understand
you're upset about something.We don't agree on this.
Right.
But I see no need in calling aname because I can't put that away.
Right?
Like, you can't take those,those words. Don't go back, you know,
and sometimes, like I said,sometimes the generosity is in silence.
It's a. I'm not going torespond to you. And that's how I'm
(15:32):
going to give to you right nowis because I'm going to choose not
to. To do those things. Butthis entire book has been a passion
project for me, Jaclyn. Youknow, and it's a weird topic because
when I say things like, youknow, this has been my heartbeat,
it's like, yeah, it's truelike this. You know, I, I spend my
(15:53):
life trying to live as agenerous person, but at the same
time, it's not to stroke myown ego and tell everybody how wonderful
I am. Right, Right. And it'slike when we did our book launch
last week, as I was tellingyou, like, we had a few people that
came up and spoke during thebook launch, and our entire intention
behind it was, you know, let'shave a speaking moment. Let's have
(16:14):
some people come in and share.And we had some, some great people,
some. Some other authors. Wehad the, you know, former sheriff
of the city of Austin. We had,like, several people come up and
spoke, but the entire topicwas not about how they've been generous,
but rather how other people'sgenerosity has impacted their lives,
because that's a safe topic.And I can tell you, people's generosity
(16:36):
has impacted me in crazy ways.Like, even our team, as we sat around
lunch that day, it was like,tell me about the time that somebody
has been impactful to you. Howhas somebody fed into you? And it
was, and I'm going to say itwas crazy to hear the stories that
people shared because justthere are corners of other people's
(16:57):
lives that you may never hearabout. And yet clearly important
moments, like when you asksomebody, what is something that
someone else has done and beengenerous to you? I'm going to share
a story. A young guy on ourteam, great guy. He's a young black
man. And he said about how hewent to college in a town that was,
that was not. And he's justsuch a good guy that was not very
(17:19):
integrated. And he said duringone particular holiday, most of the
people who went to schoolthere actually went home for the
holidays. But him and a coupleof friends of his that were there
who all happened,coincidentally, to be black men,
they actually stayed in townfor the holiday. And he's like, well,
we had an honors banquetcoming up where we were getting awards
(17:40):
for, you know, sportsperformance as well as academic performance
and so on. He goes, I didn'thave a suit. And he's like. And me
and a couple of my friendswent to J.C. penney's to buy a suit,
and one of the ladies in thestore, one of the shopkeepers or
the. The retail workers,accused them of shoplifting and called
the police. And he says, youknow, and again, great guy. I believe
(18:05):
him that nothing weird wasgoing on. And this was his story
about how someone had beenradically generous towards him, was.
She accused us of shopliftingand called the police. So when security
came, they detained him untilthe police got there. And when the
police started questioningthem, he's like, we were sitting
here, like. But we literallydidn't do anything. He's like, we're
trying to buy a suit for anhonors banquet. And he said in. This
(18:27):
little lady who was in thereactually stepped up and said, I've
been in the store the entiretime that these young men have been
here, and I've simply watchedthem shopping. They've done nothing
wrong. And he said, and hergenerosity and risking her own self
and her whatever, stepped upand said, these young men did nothing
(18:50):
wrong. And he said. And thepolice suddenly, like, changed, and
he. And I forget what her namewas. Miss Betty or something. He
was telling her. And he'slike, she just stood up for a group
of guys that was doing nothingwrong and said, these young men have
just literally been shoppingin the store. Like, this lady is
making an accusation based onrace, and that's not fair. He's like,
she came to our graduation.She came to the banquet. And he's
(19:13):
like, we've stayed in contact.He's like, I still hear from her.
And it was just. And it wasjust funny because I wouldn't know
that. Like, he's just. He's agreat guy. And. And we're just sitting.
A bunch of us are sittingaround lunch, and, you know, so tell
me some. Someone's beengenerous towards you. And then he
tells me this terrible storyabout profiling. I'm like, oh, my
(19:35):
gosh. Like, what a greatstory, but what a sad story, right?
It's got both. So, you know,this is.
So.
This is like. You know, it'sbringing me back to a conversation
that I recently had withanother guest that was on and something
that he shared. And I. And Iwant to kind of bring back this generosity
about giving and leadership,which is. And you said, you know,
(19:56):
even when you're havingconversations with, you know, a prospective
client, it's. It's theinformation that you can give. You
know, whether it's Advice ortips or, you know, you know, so that
you're sharing of yourself andyour knowledge. And I want to bring
it to the same concept atleadership, because this idea of
(20:18):
really being generosity with,being generous with your wisdom goes
really, really far inleadership. So the example is that
I had a guest on and he wastalking about his path to being major
(20:40):
CEO of a company, and he said,I owe it to X person at X company
who brought me under theirwing and didn't. It wasn't. I was
not an adversary. They, theyinstilled wisdom on me to help me
(21:02):
be better, to help meflourish. And, and I think this is
something that I, that I alsojust want to, you know, for the guests
listening to this, this is ahuge insight to be generous with
your wisdom, because as aleader, the people that are on your
(21:23):
team that are working withyou, the biggest thing you can do
is share wisdom to help themget that wisdom, to help them become
great leaders themselves.
Well, if I can add somethingin there and 100% agree with you.
But to take it next level,that is wisdom is the resource that
(21:45):
not everyone has. We all havesome amount of money, even though
some have more than others,and we all have the same amount of
time and we all have the sameability to be present in our situations.
But when it comes to wisdom,it starts narrowing the funnel there,
right? Fewer people have theability to give that resource, which
(22:05):
in my opinion means, meansit's more incumbent on those of us
who have that to be willing toshare. And it's, and there's a belief
or a misconception, I think ina lot of circles that if I have knowledge
in an industry or I have asecret sauce, like, I need to hoard
this so that I have security.Because the fewer people that know
(22:28):
this, the more, the more, theless commoditized I am, you know,
the more special I am, thefewer people who know what I know.
And, and I think that makes ussmaller people.
I would agree. It makes, youknow, it does. And when we think
that we're holding on tosomething, to think that it's going
(22:50):
to be like, oh, my God, I havethis. It's my carrot. In actuality,
share the carrots. Right?Share, you know, and, you know, because
people are going to look atyou like, oh, my God, Mark has all
this great wisdom and he is,he shares it with other people or
he has this knowledge and Ialways like it reminds me of, you
(23:12):
know, if, of, you know, DaleCarnegie said it, you know, you want
to hire people that aresmarter than you to help them rise
up. It's the same thing. Ifyou can instill that wisdom and the
knowledge that you have andgive it to other people that they,
because they don't have that,you're just going to make it better.
You're going to make the worldbetter and the people around you
better. It's so key.
(23:33):
It's absolutely, and I thinkit's important for us to bear that
in mind. And that is, it's a,it's a lesson hard learned. But you
know, I've had people who haveinvested in my life. You know, when
we were sitting around thatlunch table, you know who's invested
in you? And I'm like, I've gota lot of examples, but the one that
really stands out was I, in apast career I was a college professor
and then later turnedadministrator at private university.
(23:57):
And I remember our coo likethat guy just invested in me. And
I, and I laughingly call himMaster Yoda because in his own weird
way he grew me upprofessionally. And to this day there
are things that he would sayto me that I use his wisdom because
he invested. And sometimes itwas just a dozen words and just with
(24:22):
his words he challenged mythinking. Like I remember one time
calling him with a Fridaycrisis and I had this and I needed,
you know, tell me what, whatare you thinking? This is what I'm
thinking. We go through thiswhole conversation and he listens
to me and I'm like, you'rejust my sounding board right now,
but I need to make a decisionon this and blah, blah, blah. And
he's like, hey, go buy thisbook, Call me Monday. And I'm like,
(24:48):
thank you. Like, and, and youknow what? I went and bought the
book. I called him Monday andI'm like, thanks, I'm good. And,
and the, it was a MalcolmGladwell book called Blink, which
is an amazing book. AndGladwell's entire premise in the
book is all aboutunderstanding how to trust your gut
reflexes and not overridingyour gut reaction to something with
(25:11):
logic. And, and his entirepremise was, you're thinking too
much. You know the answer toyour problem, you're thinking too
much. And when my follow upconversation when I called him and
was like, got it, we're good.He, he left and he's like, his words
were super, super minimal. Yougot good instincts. Quit questioning
(25:32):
yourself. And, and that wasit, right? And to this, to this day,
and I laugh because I think mystaff sometimes thinks I'm, I'm Barbaric
because I will meet aninterview or a new hire and I'm like,
nope, not the right person.And I get the, I get the side glances
of you're not even giving thema chance. And it's like, sorry, I've
(25:55):
done this enough times that Iknow who's going to work and who's
not going to work because I'vejust not my first rodeo. And you
know, and I'm like, no, youcan, you can give them a try and
see what you do. I'm justgoing to tell you how this predicts
because I learned to trust mygut. And that was through the generosity
of a mentor who gave mepermission to do that.
(26:16):
Right. Key thing is. Yeah,permission. And it's so cute. You
know, it's curious when, whenit comes to those, I think certain
things like your gut, it, it'sthere for a reason and it tells you
and it speaks to you forsomething. And we do need to trust
it if you. And part of that,and I'm just going to share about
the hiring part is, you know,some of that gut is, makes up the
values that you have. And ifthe person that's in an interview
(26:39):
situation, you can almost likeinstinctively know, like not, not
the values that I want tohave. And it's so, so important.
Yeah. And I'll say like mybackground is in clinical psychology,
so it comes out quite a bit.But what I will say is what you're
referring to is what we call alimbic response. And that is that
(27:00):
the subconscious mind processis faster than the conscious mind.
And when you meet somebody,what ends up happening is your limbic
response, which is actuallythe, the sensory area in the brain
that recognizes, recognize asdanger. What we call a gut reaction
is actually your subconsciousmind processing information that
(27:22):
is reminiscent of pastinformation. So when, when you meet
a person, there may besomething about them, whether it's
the, the way they look, theway they speak, the way they smell.
Any of those types ofsituations trigger subconscious memories.
And your body responds in theway that it responded the last time
(27:42):
that stimulus was, was, wassensed. So you know, you meet somebody
and it just feels wrong.Right. Well, what's happening there?
Well, trace that back and Iguarantee you you'll find that there
was somebody else who didthat. You'll, you know, for instance,
you'll, you'll see. Like a lotof times I see this in women. Women
tend to be a little moreintuitive anyways. But you'll notice
(28:05):
it with a woman who meets aman and he just Creeps her out, right?
Like, oh, yeah, like, you knowwhat I'm talking about. You're a
woman. I'm sure you've beenaround some men that you're just
like, like that guy.
There's one that's, that comesright to my mind right now.
There you go. And the realityis, is that that person is likely.
If you were to meet somebodywho exhibited similar characteristics
(28:27):
to that guy, you'd have thesame response. And it could be nothing
more than the cologne the guywore. But your body says danger.
Some stimulus is at asubconscious level, triggered some
kind of danger response to youand said, danger, be careful. And
then what happens often isthat we get into. And from a hiring
standpoint, let me draw thatconnection. Sometimes we meet a person
(28:50):
who behaved the way a pastemployee behaved, and, you know,
this person came in, answeredquestions the same way as a past
employee, and you know howthat ended.
Right. They're no longerthere. You're obviously not good.
Right.
It's a past employee. Thatperson's not here anymore. It reminds
me of an uncomfortable orunpleasurable experience in the past.
(29:12):
And my brain says, don't dothat twice. And that's really, that's
what a gut is, you know, thatis the check. And subconsciously,
that data comes first. Andthen consciously, we tend to logic
our way around it and like,oh, but the resume is so good. And,
oh, the education backgroundis so good. And the person dressed
up really pretty and, youknow, and part of you is just like,
(29:36):
like, I just, I. Yeah. And,and it's like, and I've just learned,
you know, when you talk aboutsharing wisdom, like, I, I do this
with my team. Like, I'll meetsomebody that they're all excited
about, and I'm like, no, like,I think you're making a mistake.
And they're like, why? I'mlike, because I can predict that
you're going to end up in thispattern. And if they make the decision
anyways, because I allow it.If they make the decision anyways,
(29:58):
nine out of ten times, youknow, there's a, you know, and I
don't do the I told you sobecause we all lose. Right.
But they might come back andsay, mark, you're right, I, I, or,
or you know what? Yeah, theycould. Yeah.
And then the next time, theymay trust my, my gut on something
or train their own.
Right. Right. So, Mark, Icould talk to you for hours because
(30:22):
I love the whole psychologyof, like, business too. And I mean,
like, there's so much I'm likeI'm thinking about, you know, my
coaching, but anabolic andcatabolic energy. And I was like,
there's a whole part of thattoo. I mean, you know, so I can hours
on that. But, you know, youreally have shared some really great
insights and I think, youknow, listeners, you know, to be
(30:43):
a great leader. You know,again, there's lots of different
ways that we can be generousand generous with your time, your
wisdom with, you know, yes,you can give gifts and things like
that, but really think aboutthe wisdom that you can impart on
the people that are in yourfold. So, Mark, share with us. You
know, where can people get thebooks? How can they connect with
you, get more of your wisdom?
(31:05):
Well, I'm willing to shareanything I have. I'm not going to
talk it up. But anybody whowants to go, just go to themarkyoung.com
that t h e markyoung.com alleasy words to spell. You can go find
me there. You can find anynumber of things there, including
links to my Instagrams,including book sales for, for any
(31:26):
of my books are for salethere, contacts to my, my business,
my marketing agency. All ofthat stuff is available right@themarkyoung.com
which makes it really easy. Orthey can go find me on Amazon if
they're looking to buy a bookthere. Or for that matter, they are
also more than welcome todownload at Apple Books or Audible
(31:46):
or any of the audio places. Itell everybody, if you're listening
to the audio, listen to it at1.4. And that actually sounds like
me. Listen to it at 1.4.That's actually the way I talk. So
the way I read may be a littlebit slower.
That's so funny. Oh my God. Ilisten to a lot of things at 1.5
(32:07):
because it's like the onepoint that just like one, like. Yeah,
it's a little slow for mebecause I'm, I'm from, I'm from New
England and so I talk fast andexactly, exactly. Do things that.
So Mark, I have just lovedthis conversation. Thank you so much
for being an amazing guest andlisteners. If you have gotten value
out of this, which I'm sureyou have, because I know I have.
Click subscribe. Also, pleaseshare this episode with your friends,
(32:30):
colleagues because, you know,again, sharing is caring. And if
you can also just head over toall of the things that market, go
to the Mark Young. Well, his.What? Oh my God, I can't speak right
now. The website, you said themark young.com and just connect with
Mark there as well. So, again,thank you so much for listening to
(32:52):
the Unstoppable LeadershipSpotlight podcast. I'm Jaclyn Schuminger.
And again, thank you all forlistening. And thank you, Mark.
Thank you, Jaclyn.
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