The power of presence in overcoming life's biggest obstacles – with J.R. Martinez - Untethered with Jen Liss

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hi and welcome to Untethered with Jen Liss, the
podcast that's here to help youbreak free, be you and unleash
your inner brilliance.
I'm your host, jen, and in thisepisode we're going to talk
about the power of presence andhow it can support you in
overcoming even life's biggestobstacles.
Let's dive in.
Hey there, unicorn, welcomeback to the podcast.

(00:35):
Today's episode.
We have JR Martinez.
Now JR is an Army veteran,motivational speaker, actor and
Dancing with the Stars winner.
Also, you know, a New YorkTimes bestselling author.
He is, most of all, and asyou're going to hear in this

(00:56):
conversation, jr is an amazinglypresent, inspirational,
motivational, all-aroundfantastic human being.
He has been through things thatmost of us could not even
fathom and he's going to walk usthrough his story of what

(01:17):
happened to him at a mere 19years of age and where that has
led him to where he's at today.
And this is one of thoseconversations that every single
one of us, I mean.
I feel so blessed that thisconversation is available to us,
that he is on this planet andavailable to share this

(01:39):
conversation with us and to tellus, like, here is what truly
matters and, at the same time,admitting I'm a human being.
We're all human beings tryingto be on this planet and we're
all moving through things at anymoment, and it doesn't matter
the obstacles that you have.
They are real, they are veryreal.

(02:00):
Maybe they're not the sameobstacles that he has faced, but
your obstacles are freakingreal, the things that we are
dealing with.
Every human has things, so Ihope he helps you to see that,
even though those are there,even though this might be your
current experience, even thoughyou might not be in this moment
exactly where you want to be,maybe you feel so tethered right

(02:21):
now, this can't just be it.
There is something more.
There is something different.
There is that other door andyou can just keep swimming
Without further ado.
Welcoming to the podcast JRMartinez, hi JR.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Hi Jen, how are you doing?

Speaker 1 (02:40):
It's so good, it's so freaking fun to have you on
here.
I'm thrilled to get to meet youand I know my listeners are
going to be so jazzed to get tohear from you today.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Well, thank you so much for having me on.
It's it's um.
You know it's a blessing to beable to have connection with
people and for people to feellike that.
You know they want to sharetheir platform, you know, with
me and allow me to connect withthem and to connect with the
people that listen to you, andso I just appreciate every
opportunity and I think that'sone of the things that you know

(03:09):
I take so seriously, in a senseof when I show up in spaces, I
show up, um, I, I am here, I ampresent because I mean the odds
of me connecting with one ofyour listeners, possibly ever
again.
I mean I mean, yeah, we could,but we also could not, and so

(03:30):
for me, I just try to maximizeand optimize every opportunity I
get.
So, thank you, I don't take itlightly and I just appreciate
you having me on.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Yeah, it's honestly such a gift to be in presence
with someone who is present andI feel that from you from the
second that you hopped in here.
Have you always been that way?
Have you always been thatperson who you know when
somebody is sitting down withyou, you're just that way.
I ask because my husband is,but some people to come into

(04:00):
presence is such a struggle,yeah so I think I've always had
that ability.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
I think it's been pronounced since, obviously,
what happened to me and I knowwe'll get into that but I was
always a kid that was very aware, very observant, really paid
attention to everything that wasgoing on around me.
I see it in my kids and I seemy daughter and I'm like, hey,
you're staring and I was like,but I get it though, you're

(04:28):
observing, but it's a littleweird the way you're doing it
right now.
So let me teach you how to doit so it doesn't seem awkward.
In the non-creepy way In thenon-creepy way exactly.
Trust me, if anybody knowsanything about staring at
somebody and doing double takes,I know how to work around it
because I've dealt with this somuch of my life.
But yeah, I've always been thisperson, you know.
It was interesting.
I recently had a conversationwith somebody and they talked

(04:50):
about and I can't remember forthe life of me what it was and I
probably should go back and andand find out exactly what it
was.
So I'm giving this informationout correctly.
But they referenced there wasthis doctor or a book or maybe a
doctor that wrote a book, butessentially something along the
lines of like how your DNA isconstantly changed by your
environment.
And this person you knowmentioned that about me and sort

(05:12):
of the circumstances that I'vebeen exposed to, and I said, you
know, I believe that becausehere I was, that was, I was a
kid that was very energetic,very bubbly, good energy, big
smile on my face, lovedinteracting with people, and
then circumstances andsituations that I kept finding
myself being president just kepttaking, you know, a little bit

(05:35):
of life out of me, and I thinkthat's why, when I encounter
people that might not be in themost welcoming, warm state.
I'm always trying to like lendout some compassion because I'm
like you know that's probablynot who they really were at the
beginning.
That's just, unfortunately,just a just a statue of all this

(05:57):
stuff that has been compoundedand they haven't quite figured
out how to sort of shed a lot ofthat stuff and not carry it
with them.
And so you know, I don't know,I just you know, obviously,
since a life altering event, Imean that really kind of changes
your perspective and the timethat you have on this earth and
understanding how life is sofragile.
And I understand that, howblessed I am that I got a second

(06:19):
chance at life, and so I trynot to take it for granted.
And that also means that youknow I try to show up.
But on the flip side of that isI also have to be careful
because me constantly showing up, the way that I like to show up
, is draining.
It could take a lot out of youthat help replenish you things

(06:42):
and that you know habits, traits, whatever you want to call them
, that allow you to be refueledby other people or other things.
And that's not being selfish,that's just understanding that,
hey, there's a gas station, fora reason I got to stop and fuel
up so I can get to where I wantto go.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yeah, that's such an important message and for all of
us to remember even the highenergy, super effervescent
people on this planet have torefuel in their unique way and
sometimes we ourselves forgetthat because the world doesn't
recognize it.
So then we're not recognizingthat in ourselves.
So let's go back to youmentioned.
You had a life altering momentand many people who may or may

(07:24):
not have met you on dancing withthe stars, maybe have not heard
the story.
So and I know you've told thestory a million times and at the
same time I could hear it athousand times so if you could
share with us, you know, thatmoment that shifted for you and
really changed the trajectory ofyour life and put you in the
seat with us today, Well,surprise, this is actually going

(07:45):
to be the millionth time thatI've actually said it, so number
one million.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Special episode right here.
No, you know.
No, but you know I don't mindrevisiting it, I don't mind
retelling it.
I understand that that is thebig moment that a lot of people
you know want to hear about.
Of course, that was the majormoment in my life that trying to
change the trajectory of mylife and led me down this course
of where I am today.

(08:10):
And it doesn't affect me, itdoesn't bother me emotionally.
I think that's another questionthat people wonder.
They start to ask that questionwith a little bit of timidness,
of like are we asking somethingthat's going to be triggering?
And I'm going to tell you thedetails of that day and what
happened, and I'm going to speakabout it as if I'm telling you

(08:30):
what I did with my family lastweekend.
It's just that nonchalantmatter of fact.
It's just another thing thathappened in my life and it took
me a long time to get to thatpoint where I could take the
power away from that incident,from that moment, and actually
find ways to control it andchange the tone and change the

(08:52):
outcome and what comes from it.
And so when I look at peopleand talk about that day, I talk
about it as a blessing.
I refer to it as that and whatI'm referring to is after high
school, I joined the army and Iwent to basic training for three
months, was assigned to my unit.
Two months after getting to myunit, I was deployed to Iraq in
2003.
And this was six months after Ienlisted and everything

(09:16):
happened so fast for me.
And when you're right out ofhigh school right out of high
school I mean, I'm like twomonths out of high school when I
decide that I'm going to go tothe military.
And the military was at thattime for me was a one-stop shop
right.
It kind of checked all theboxes.
It gave me an opportunity toleave these small towns that I
was born and grew up in.
It gave me an opportunity tosee the world.

(09:36):
It gave me an opportunity toget money for college.
It gave me an opportunity togive back to a country that had
given so much to me and myfamily my mother's from El
Salvador, central America, myfather's from Mexico.
So my parents are immigrantsand I was first born and first
generation and I had a differentperspective and appreciation

(09:56):
for what I had in this country.
Even though it wasn't a lotcompared to my peers, it was
incredible what I had here incomparison to my family in
Central America for example.
And when 9-11 happened I was asenior in high school and of
course, like a lot of people, Ifelt the need to do something
and so the military just kind ofpresented an opportunity for me
to do that and I joined.

(10:17):
I joined as 11 Bravo infantryfront lines combat.
You're trained to fight.
That was sort of my mindset ata young 19 years old, that I was
just going to go out there andjust kick some ass and make it
happen.
But I was only going to dothree years, that was it, and I
was going to get out at 22 yearsold and move on with my life.
You had a plan and you knoweverybody has a plan.
You know it's like there's twoways of looking at this.

(10:38):
So some people say you know youplan, god laughs.
Other, you know, mike Tysonsays everybody has a game plan
until they get punched in themouth.
They both say the same thing.
They mean this exact same thing.
It's just a different approachto it.
But you know, three weeks intomy deployment I'm driving a
Humvee through a city car calledBala when a front left tire
runs over a landmine and I'm thedriver.

(11:01):
There's three other troops in aHumvee.
It explodes, it detonates, I'mtrapped inside.
I'm completely conscious.
Three other troops that were inthe Humvee with me were thrown
out of the vehicle and they allwalk away with minor physical
injuries.
But I'm trapped inside andcompletely conscious for five
minutes just screaming andyelling at the top of my lungs

(11:21):
for someone to come pull me out.
And as I'm trapped inside ofthis Humvee and I can see parts
of my body and the way that it'sbeing changed due to what's
happening, um, all I could thinkabout is is my life is going to
end, I'm going to die, it'sgoing to end in this way.
Um, I see all these peoplerunning around outside of the
Humvee, but no one's coming tomy aid.
Of course, it feels like I'mnot in here for five minutes,

(11:42):
I'm in here for five hours,right, like it's just.
Every time is just.
It's odd because it's one ofthose beautiful things where
it's like it feels like you'rein there for an eternity but at
the same time, time slows down.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
It's wild to me that you remember so many little
details of it, and it would haveto have felt like time slowed
down for you to see all of thatand just sit in the chaos.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yeah, like talk about being present.
I mean, god Leah, I wasincredibly present.
I mean I can see, and not toget too graphic for the audience
, but I mean my body is burned.
I got third degree burnsthroughout my body and the way
that I was trapped inside ofthis Humvee, I could see my
hands and my hands have skingrafts on them.
So I'll just leave it there andleave the imagination to sort

(12:24):
of fill in the blanks.
We can all watch a PBS specialabout that later, but you know,
I can see my hands changing.
I can see guys running in frontof the Humvee on the outside
and how chaotic things were.
I can hear people like yelling,and then, of course, I can hear
people like yelling, and andthen, of course I could I could

(12:46):
hear myself screaming and then Icould actually hear myself
gasping for air, like.
So the biggest thing that wasthreatening whether I was going
to survive that incident or notwas not the third degree burns
that I sustained was actuallywhich is kind of interesting
that you know, now we're in 2024, we're having these
conversations about, you know,mental health, or we're having

(13:07):
these conversations about theinside wounds, the internal
wounds, the invisible wounds.
And the biggest thing that wasstarting, when I was going to
survive or not, was the factthat I was inhaling all this
smoke from the fire.
So my organs, everything on theinside, were just sort of
filled with smoke.
I had a lacerated liver, hadbroken ribs, so I'm just gasping

(13:28):
for air, trying to survive, notrealizing I'm inhaling smoke
which is also doing damage.
You know, throughout the courseof those five minutes I had
many moments where my eyes gotvery heavy and I know a lot of
people probably have never beenin a car accident where they've
had this similar experience.
But you can relate to it Likeif you've ever had a moment

(13:49):
where you're super tired, soexhausted, you're sitting on the
couch or wherever you may be,and your eyes are so heavy and
you're fighting it and you'refighting it and you're fighting
it, and then eventually the eyeswin and you're you're asleep or
your eyes are closed.
And I had several of thosemoments and every time that my
eyes would close, it's just likethere was no more noise.

(14:11):
It was just me and my breathand my thoughts, and I would go
down this thought process ofthinking like how my mother's
worst fear is going to become areality, I would think about how
I'm going to lose my life inthis way at this age, and then I

(14:32):
would just breathe, and I can.
There was no yelling outside ofthe humvee, there was no seeing
my hands or feeling the pain,it was just me, stillness.
And then I would tell myself inthose moments of pause you
can't keep your eyes closed, man, because if you keep your eyes
closed, that's it, you're givingup.
And I would open my eyes and Iwould continue to scream.

(14:55):
And so the whole thing was likeI just had to fight and try to
hang on, because I wasn't readyto let go.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
How easy it would have been to stay there.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Oh, a hundred percent .
It felt so good, it actuallyfelt so good to be in that place
, in that place, because it wasjust so calming and soothing and
I wasn't resisting, I was justallowing myself to lean into it.
And.
But then I just said to myself,no, and when people ask me, how
does one develop that abilityto do that in that circumstance?

(15:25):
And it took me a while torealize it, but when I really
paused and reflect on my life,you know, years after the fact,
I couldn't help but reallyidentify that all the things
that I've been exposed to forthe first 19 years of my life as
a child had prepared me forthat moment, had been
conditioning me for that moment,and even though the trauma or

(15:48):
the experiences that I wasexposed to nowhere near compared
to what I experienced in Iraqbut it wasn't about it needed to
be on the same scale, it justneeded to be these little
incidents, these moments In thegrand scheme of my life, there
were little incidents that werejust conditioning me,
conditioning me, testing me andsee how I would show up and

(16:10):
building that resiliency.
Resiliency isn't somethingthat's just all of a sudden you
decide to be resilient.
I mean, it's something thatyou've been working at.
It's a condition that happensand it's been conditioned in
your life for as long as you canremember.
And even if you can't remember,the body remembers, and that's

(16:31):
why there's that book that'scalled the Body Keeps the Score,
exactly Because the body isalways remembering everything
and the body's always remindingus of those things that we
forget, like you don't even know.
Why do I feel this way whenthis happens and it's like you
don't remember?
But let me tell you somethingIf you spend a little bit more
time and pay attention to yourbody and where that feeling
surfaces, it'd come to you quickand you'd realize ah, but the
problem is a lot of us, in thatmoment of stillness, we're we're

(16:53):
, we're fine with being still insome cases, but what we do with
that stillness, what we do inthat time, that's what we're not
okay with.
And so a lot of us will bestill and we may ask ourselves
why do I feel this way?
Why does this keep happening?
Every time this person's namepops up or on my caller ID, or I
know I have to have this kindof conversation with somebody,

(17:14):
or I anticipate that it's goingto be.
It's going to be aconfrontation.
And the reality is it's justgoing to be a conversation, but
your past trauma is triggeringyou and your body's, alarming
you and now making you believethat it's going to be a
confrontation.
And then, when you spend thetime asking the questions, you
come to the conclusion of like,oh, maybe it's because X, y and

(17:36):
Z, oh well, I don't know, Idon't want to be honest about
that.
So, no, I'm just going to pushit down and just kind of find
different ways to be distracted,because that's the way we
operate and that's what's easyfor us right, at least in the
moment.
It's easy.
Not long term, it's notsustainable.
And so for me, I, in the midstof being in that Humvee and

(17:57):
having multiple moments ofstillness and pause, and then
just saying to myself, no, I'mnot going to give up, five
minutes later I was pulled outof the Humvee.
I started the medevac process,ended up in San Antonio, Texas.
I went through Germany, sanAntonio, and then, three weeks
later, came out of my medicalinduced coma and you know it was
interesting.
I like to tell this storybecause, um, a couple of stories

(18:19):
actually.
So you know one of the thingsthat you know, 19 years old, I
didn't have the luxury of goingthrough extensive training
before I deployed.
I didn't have the luxury of,you know, being in the military
for long periods of time.
I mean, I was six months out ofhigh school and or you know,
like from enlisting, so you knowand literally not even a month

(18:40):
into my deployment, when I, whenI was injured and the one thing
that terrified me of going tocombat was not the fact that I
would die by being shot, it wasnot the fact that I could die by
someone and be in infantry.
You still did hand-to-handcombat, you still carried a
bayonet with you and I was like,well, that could be an option

(19:02):
too, but I'm not worried aboutthat.
The thing that really terrifiedme to my core was landmines.
Like landmines scared me Everytime we went through training.
I never wanted to, you know,crawl up to a landmine and try
to learn how to diffuse.
It Didn't want to.
Every time we did the exercise,I found a way to goof off and
get to the back of the line.
I was like, and even though Iknew it was a dummy one like it

(19:30):
wasn't real, it wasn't going to,it wasn't active, but I, in my
mind, it just terrified me theidea that something could be
camouflaged, hidden, and thenall I have to do is just put
pressure on it by stepping on it, driving over it, whatever, and
then no control there.
There's no control and it itscared the daylights out of me.
What is the thing, jen, thatalmost took my life?
A landmine, of course, and so Isay that because that's how

(19:51):
fear works.
Right, you spend so much timegiving that thing that you're so
worried about so much power, somuch power you're almost,
you're almost like fueling thatthing to actually happen, versus
the way I like to sort ofapproach things.
That sort of give me a littlebit uncomfortable.
That easy feeling fear, if youwill, is now I focus on one.

(20:13):
Why do I feel fear?
What is it about that situation?
And, as you mentioned, likeit's control, okay, cool, so
control is something that I needto, I need to work through
right, and I'm not a controllingpersonality, but there's
obviously things that a lot ofus like to have control over.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
We don't like to have control the human condition to
grapple for control 100%.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
So I just sort of learned how to pivot.
But also what came from thatday and I've realized this as I
started to get into practice.
I went just practice a littlebit of it.
I'm not traveling around theworld and studying under these
incredible like teachers oranything but yoga and you know
yoga I.
I started doing this years ago.

(20:55):
Uh, this yin yoga and if you'renot familiar yin yoga is is
mainly like a stretching class.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
Um, but also simultaneously mentally
miserable to me.
Oh my God, so I love thatyou're bringing yin yoga up.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
So I didn't know this .
So somebody's like, yeah, yourbody's aching, you're traveling,
you're doing this, you're doingthat, yeah, you should try yin.
And I was like, all right,there's a yin class at my gym,
so I'll just go to it.
And I went to it and literallyit sounded like I was in a
delivery room, like everybodywas going into labor based on

(21:29):
their breath work.
It was like and it was so itwas.
It's one of those things like,yeah, exactly Like all the
windows are fogged up and you'relike oh and uh, but it was.
It was funny because when I wentinto the class and the
instructor I love her, I loveher spirit, I love her energy.
She is such a gift to you know,the community and she she

(21:54):
starts off very soft spoken andshe starts off by saying you
know, okay, we're gonna.
You know, yin is designed toget into the myofascia.
And she's going and giving intothis little description and she
says you know, it's notsupposed to be painful, it's
gonna be uncomfortable.
And she's like and when it'suncomfortable, you just gotta
connect to your breath and justbreathe.

(22:15):
And you find yourself in thislike twisted lizard, you know
lunge dump.
Grabbing your back, you knowankle, and you're turning into a
quad stretch at the same time.
Um grabbing a strap and you're Imean just all sorts of twisted
and you're holding there, youknow, for five minutes yelling
for three to eight minutes andyou're like and, and when it

(22:36):
gets hard, I started likebreathe, okay, like almost like
that box, breathing but notholding it, because I'm just
trying to breathe, and so it'snot like this in for two, in for
three, hold, no, I don't havetime for that, I'm just.
That's why I said like it'sliterally like a delivery room,

(22:57):
and and so.
But then I noticed that themore that I did that practice,
that my body would just sort ofsettle, like I would find myself
just sort of getting deeperinto the stretch and and my body
would just get more relaxed anddeeper into the stretch.
And then, okay, cool, thatdidn't.
Okay, all right, it feels likeI'm settling in now and I just
kept breathing, kept breathing,kept breathing.
And it's one of those beautifulthings that, through that
practice, it reminded me that'swhat I experienced when I was

(23:21):
fighting for my life for thosefive minutes that I was able to
close my eyes, connect with mybreath, block out all the noise,
all the chaos that washappening inside of the Humvee
and outside of the Humvee andjust connect with myself.
And honestly, that's one of thethings that I still do till
this day.
I don't do a traditionalmeditation, like I'm I'm I'm a

(23:43):
little too busy in the head tosit down and do that and I
applaud the people that can.
I'm more of like a, which isprobably some people would
probably be like yeah, butthat's still not good, jr.
Like I'm more of like a.
Let me go for a walk.
Meditation no, no podcast, nomusic, no calls, maybe not even
the dog, just by myself.

(24:04):
Let me just take a drive andlet me, let me just, you know,
let me, let me, just.
Let me go sit in the park.
Let me go sit.
I love coffee.
I'm going to sit in the coffeeshop and I'm just going to sit
there and I'm just going towatch and I'm just going to
observe and I'm going to see how, what people are doing and I
find myself You're being yourcreepy little, your daughter.
My creepy little self.
Yeah, I'm being that, yeah, andso, yeah, and so I'm sure

(24:28):
there's stories out there.
Like you know, that guy thatwas on dancing God, he was like
staring at me the other day andI'm like, listen, I mean I'm
sure you were a fly as hell, butI was staring because there was
something you were doing thatwas really inspiring to me.
And that's literally what it is.
And I think a big reason I dothat is because in my most
difficult stages of my recovery,when I couldn't figure out the

(24:48):
answers in my own space, meaningin my own space of my head, in
my own space, physically, whereI was, in my, you know, in my I
was going to say my house, whereI lived while I recovered, but
it really wasn't a house, it waslike the barracks and, you know
, a little room, like a dorm.
In a sense, I was like,wherever space that I lived in,
the answers weren't there, andso I needed to get out of that

(25:10):
space and I would just putmyself out into the world.
I would literally just like andthere's a clip of me where I did
an interview long time ago andI talked about how I just like I
would be in my room crying andjust mad and resentful and
bitter about my reality becauseand I'm getting ahead of myself
and forgive me, but you know, Ihad already kind of come to this

(25:32):
conclusion that, hey, I think Iwant to do this speaking thing,
I think I want to use my lifeand my story to help other
people and this is about a yearafter I was injured.
But even though I'd go out andput on a good front because I
did feel that way in that moment, something would trigger me and
I'd go back in that safe spaceby myself and I would cry and I

(25:52):
would write, and I would justcry and I would write and I
would angrily write and I wouldangry cry.
And again, those answers aren'tthere in that space.
That space is just where I feelsafe to let those emotions out,
and so what I would do is Iwould just literally just take a
deep breath, wipe my tears,open the door and just walk
outside.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
It's like you were giving yourself the yin yoga.
You were giving yourself thatmoment to release and to be with
it a little bit.
That was my question for you,jr, because that turnaround is
pretty damn fast.
You had this dramatic,life-changing experience and
then it's like a year lateryou're moving outward and I'm

(26:32):
curious about that.
You were journaling, you wereprocessing, you were in it,
whereas you know, some people itmight take them their entire
lives to move past this.
Do you have any insight forsomebody?
Because it's like theuntethering that so many of us
are experiencing.
It can take.
Some people never get there.
Some people get to the end oftheir lives.
Most people, most people get tothe end of their life and say I

(26:55):
didn't live it on my terms, Ididn't become what I had hoped I
could become or what I couldhave become or live that life,
and you've done it and you'redoing it and you've had that
turn around so fast.
I'm curious if you have anyinsight there.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
So, growing up, being born and raised in small towns,
small population, I rememberfeeling so isolated as a kid,
not feeling like I had like aspace where I felt like I could
be accepted, Like I had mypeople, like I just felt so
isolated and didn't have realconnection outside of my home.

(27:33):
And I remember I would say tomyself like this can't be it,
Like this can't be it, Like this, like you know, I would watch
TV and movies like anybody elseand you know, and you're like
there's a whole world out there.
This can't be it, this can'tlike listen, I love, I love a
small town, Like I canappreciate it.
Now, you know, at this stage ofmy life, but then I'm like no,

(27:57):
this can't be it.
Like there's a whole world outthere, there's a whole world I
want to be part of.
Like no, this can't be it.
And I would just constantlytell myself like this, this
can't be it.
There's, there's more out there, and that would be sort of the
basis of how I would, what Ioperate from.

(28:19):
And so when I was injured, youknow, I spent initially three
months in ICU and then I was anoutpatient and I had to come up
to the hospital every single dayand go through my recovery and
I, during those three months, Iremember saying to myself this
can't be it, this can't be it.
Like my, my life is not goingto be subject to just these four

(28:40):
walls and ICU room that'sheated because they have to keep
it hot because of you know mybody temperature and how I can't
regulate like snow.
No, this can't be it.
And so I've always sort of hadthe and maybe you call it like a
little bit of like this naive,you know, sort of approach and
look at life where I was like no, there has to be more out there
.
I just always believed that andI would just always tell myself

(29:04):
if you just keep showing up,you don't have to have the
answers and listen.
Let me just quickly, just,hopefully kind of abstractly,
just solidify this a little bit,hopefully kind of abstractly,
just solidify this a little bit.
So six months after I wasinjured, I was asked to visit a
patient who had just arrived andwas struggling with his new

(29:25):
reality, his new norm.
I was encouraged by the staffto go visit him and I said no,
and I insisted on no, and theyinsisted on yes.
And I said why?
And they said, because you havean experience and you can tell
him how things have improved foryou, so go.
So finally, I was just likefine, pouting.

(29:46):
I went into that room and itturned into a 45 minute
conversation.
I remember when I was walkingout, like I was like man, I was
actually able to, like, dosomething for that person.
What I had not identified inthat moment was it actually did
more for me.
I hadn't identified that right,and so what I started doing is
every day, going around andvisiting patients.
I would just knock on doors andI would walk, I would walk in.

(30:07):
I was like hi, I'm JR, I wasinjured in April of 2003.
I've been here since.
This is what I've, procedurewise is what I've endured.
Like, this is the, this is theextent of my injury, Tell me
about yours, et cetera.
We have this conversation andfinally, after a couple months
of doing this, one night I'mwalking back to my room and I
realize like, oh, that thingthat I was introduced to in the

(30:28):
military service and I was toldthat I was no longer going to be
able to continue to serve.
Oh, I found it again.
I found service.
I can serve in a completelydifferent way and I was like,
okay, that's the thing that'sinspiring me, that's the thing
that's keeping me going.
Then I started having local newsin San Antonio reach out and

(30:50):
wanted to interview me or me andother troops.
But they were putting me up tothe forefront a lot and you know
, people were constantly likethey would see the news and see
the segment and people wouldwrite and people would call and
people would say, hey, just likethat kid and whatever.
And I was 20.
And then I remember doing likea 60 minutes interview eight

(31:10):
months after I was injured andall the feedback that came from
that.
And then, a year later, Iremember just getting frustrated
because I thought to myself alot of these families and these
troops are, they're beingassisted medically but not
having to incur those costs.
But a lot of them come from twohome incomes, right, and now

(31:34):
that person, that spouse or thatmother or that father, has to
quit their job to come and be acaregiver to be with them.
Well, now, where's that incomecoming from?
So people are falling behindand I would hear these
conversations every time I'dvisit patients.
So I became infuriated, gotinvolved with the nonprofit,
started doing press to raiseawareness and hopefully raise

(31:56):
some money and kind of help alot of these patients.
I got interviewed by Oprah, youknow, a year after I was
injured and all that.
All that is what keptsolidifying my whole approach to
life was just keep showing up.
This can't be it.
Keep showing up.
And if you just keep showing up, even if you don't have the

(32:19):
answers, you just keep showingup, you will find the answer,
and that has been the way thatI've lived my life for 40 years
on this earth.
That's my approach.
I don't have to know the answer,I don't have to be in control,
but I just have to keep showingup.
Now I have to know what'simportant to me, what values I

(32:40):
have to understand if somethingserves me.
If it's not going to serve me,I have to have that.
But at the end of the day, Idon't have to have all the
answers.
I just got to be willing to putmyself in a space, and if I'm
willing to do that, everythingelse will take care of itself.
And I think that's the thing isthat we struggle with is that
you know we're in a space, thatwe're in like a room and we see

(33:03):
the door that we entered theroom through.
But we try to exit the room andthat door is no longer
available to open.
It's locked.
But there's a room, the door onthe other side of the room
that's completely wide open andyou're like I can get out of
this dark room if I just wentthrough that door.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
But you're like we just keep trying the handle on
the other one.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
That's not the way I came in this room.
I don't know what's over there,but I know what's on the other
side of this door.
And so we're so damn stubbornthat we're just still trying to
open up this damn door.
We're going to spend all ourenergy on trying to change this,
trying to change this, nothaving realistic expectations.

(33:42):
And that applies torelationships, that applies to
employment, where you're working, what you're doing, I mean.
That applies to.
So I mean just and I sayrelationships not only with your
partner and with your kids,with your friends, with your
colleagues, where we'reconstantly trying to change
other people.
And what we have to realize iswhere we're constantly trying to
change other people.
And what we have to realize islike, what do I need to change?
If I'm the one in the dark roomright now and that door is wide

(34:03):
open?
No, but that's not what I want,maybe that's what you need.
And so what I did is, when Ifound myself in these dark rooms
, these dark spaces, I wouldjust see an opportunity, a door,
a window, and I would just sayto hell with it.
I'm just going to go through it.
And, and literally my life islike the Forrest Gump approach,
like I'm just okay, fine.

(34:23):
Oh, you're going to go dospeaking?
Okay, I'll do, I'll try that.
Okay, you're going to go be anactor?
Okay, I'll try that.
Okay, you're going to go dodancing?
Okay, cool, I'll try that.
Why don't you write a book?
Okay, I'll try that.
Like I mean, just like Iremember doing an interview on a
radio show when I was promotingmy book and when I lived in LA,
and uh, a couple of weeks afterthey called me and they're like

(34:45):
hey, you know, would JR be opento doing like a special guest
host or or normal host is goingto be out?
And and I was like, oh, that'sfascinating.
And I my publicist, was the onethat approached me and I said,
well, how long is the show?
And she said three hours.
I was like hell, no, I'm notdoing a radio show for three
hours.
Like no, and I thought about it, thought about it and I was

(35:07):
like just going to do it.
And I showed up for three hours, had a great conversation.
What came what came of that?
They offered me my own Sundaynight slot for me to have a
two-hour show, and I had a radioshow in LA for two hours where
it was just like I never wouldhave found that ability or,
honestly, that passion that Iactually enjoyed it, had I not

(35:30):
just showed up.
And so I mean, listen, that's a45-minute answer to your
question.
That probably should have beencondensed down to seven minutes,
but nonetheless, I think that'sthe key is that, you know, I
just have been telling myselfthis can't be it, there has to
be more.
And I just keep showing up.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
It feels.
You said Forrest Gump, whichfeels so true.
I was thinking, dory, becausewhen you talk about that naive
naivety, you know she's just.
You know I just keep swimming,just keep, swimming, just keep
swimming, and she ends upfinding her way and you know
she's not bothered by all of thewell, what ifs and not trying,
frustrated, trying all the doors.

(36:09):
She just keeps swimming andjust keeps trying things.
And there is something to beingokay with being naive and being
okay with letting yourselfexperience wonder.
And you know, it's likesometimes I think people think
they could even look at me andmy approach to life and what I

(36:29):
do.
I do a lot of what you do.
I'm like what sounds fun rightnow?
Okay, I'm emceeing an event forthe very first time this week.
So I was like you know whatsounds kind of fun?
And I put it out into theuniverse and a friend was like
hey, jen, will you emcee myevent?
Of course it just drops in whenyou do, but it's like it

(36:55):
requires us to let go of thatsense of control and to just let
ourselves be in that state ofwhat might it be like if.
But I used to think, I'll behonest, I used to think that
that might have indicated thatthere was something wrong with
me, because I wasn't beingcynical, I was a real cynical
kid.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, we're conditioned to think differently
, right?
I mean, think about it.
When you approach a child, youknow, and all of all adults are
guilty of this you approach achild and you're like hi, what's
your name?
Oh, how old are you?
Oh, what do you want to be?
When you grow up?
Like, it's, like there's somany other things we can ask
that responsibility on yourshoulder.
But immediately we're like whatare you going to do with your

(37:33):
life?
You have to have it figured out.
And that child's like throwingout the craziest thing.
You know that they don't.
You know at that stage of lifethey don't know, but you know.
It's like that's just the waywe're conditioned and wired,
that we have to think that wehave to have everything figured
out.
And my approach and this is whatI hope to instill in my kids is
that, yeah, college is great.

(37:53):
Getting the education isimportant Absolutely.
I'm not knocking that.
I went and got my degree in mythirties and was an adult
learner, not because I needed tohave a degree for what I do,
because I wanted to.
I just wanted to continue tochallenge myself and see what
else there was out there for meto learn.
And I learned a lot and I'mstill learning.
But also, let's not neglect howall these experiences just

(38:19):
showing up and that's the,that's the best way to learn
that's you discover so muchabout yourself and so much about
your potential.
And you know, and, and, and,and I just got to say this
because you know again, the waywe're conditioned is we're
conditioned that we always arelooking for signs or revelations
or anything right and to remindus and let us know that we're

(38:43):
on the right path, that we'redoing the right thing, that you
know.
Validation for my decision toend this relationship,
validation of my decision toleave this job, validation of my
decision to, you know, tell mykid no, I love you and you're
crying, but you didn't do thethings that you were supposed to
do at home and so you can't goto that sleepover.
Like validation and all thesethings.

(39:04):
We're constantly seekingvalidation and but most of us
are looking for these bigrevelations to actually be the
validation.
And what I've discovered, it'snot these big as I like to say,
big billboard signs as you drivedown the highway.
It's literally all the signs ateye level when you're driving

(39:24):
on the road in your neighborhoodthe sign that says here's a
speed limit, slow down, stop,pause for a second, yield right,
like it's all those signs, butthose are the signs that we tend
to overlook when we're drivingright, like we're not paying
attention to them.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
We're looking for the billboard.

Speaker 2 (39:42):
We're looking for the billboard, we're looking for
the big thing, we're looking forthe.
It says the lottery is at $500million.
Like that's what we're lookingat and what I have learned is
yet, yes, they're going to bethose big splashes over the
course of your life, but, man, Ilove to live in like these
little revelations that happen.

(40:02):
That's where, that's where Ifunction, that's where I get all
the fuel, all the, all thelessons, all the direction, all
the validation.
Everything that I need is righthere at eye level.
It's happening.
And so early on and I'll justrecap three months after I was
injured, there was aconversation with my mom that
actually allowed me to just sortof change a little bit of my

(40:24):
trajectory.
So that's a little.
That's something that kind ofcarries you.
You can kind of use that asmomentum to carry you for a
while until the next thinghappens.
Six months later, the nextthing happened.
Right, I started visiting thatpatient, and then I started
visiting patients and now therewas all these other incidents
that were now giving me moremomentum to just carry me

(40:44):
through.
So, even though I was havingthese relapse, if you will,
where I would go to my room andbe triggered, there were more
good than bad and there weremore things for me to focus on
positively than that thing thatin that moment, that negatively
thought or emotion.
Then I'm interviewed by allthese people and people are
reaching out to me andexpressing all this positive
feedback.

(41:05):
Then I'm interviewed by Oprahand then I'm getting involved in
this nonprofit and I'm raisingawareness Like there was all
these little things that wouldhonestly, in the, in this, in
the, if you read my bio, thosethings aren't really in my bio,
right, those aren't the thingsthat are going to make the press
.
Those aren't the things thatpeople are going to pay
attention to when people talkabout.

(41:25):
You know, if I passed awaytoday, no one's going to be on
the news talking about like well, these are these little moments
that really allow jr to createthe life that he created.
No, they're going to be likethis dude was.
This dude was a veteran, he wasan actor, he was on dancing,
new York times bestseller.
That they're going to focus onthose points and so I'm here to
just sort of break it down andallow people to understand that,

(41:45):
even despite all those bigsplashes that I've experienced
in my career, I still focus andpay attention to those little
things, those little moments ofvalidations, and I still
experience it to this day, whereI'll encounter.
I mean, there was a guy theother day.
I spoke at an event.
I live in Austin, texas, and Ispoke at an event and I was at a

(42:07):
restaurant and I'm leaving thisrestaurant at night and there's
this couple that is sitting inthis little courtyard right
outside the door of therestaurant and as I'm walking
out and I have to pass them togo to the parking garage the guy
he starts walking towards me.
Now, I don't know about you,jen, but me.
I immediately my mind went tolike what's this dude going to

(42:28):
want?
Like what's this dude going toask me for?
Like ah, like right, I just hada great speaking engagement, a
great connection with people,and now I'm sitting here, the
dude comes up to me and he'slike he's, he's excuse me, would
you mind taking a photo of meand my girlfriend?
And I was like oh my God.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
You're like look at my ego.
I'll hop it up again.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
So, man, I'm like, let me give you the best like
photo shoot.
I can give you Right.
And so I'm taking all thesephotos and I thought I took some
good photos and I was likeshowing them.
And he's like, can you just doone more?
And I was like, yeah, sure, andI wasn't irritated, I was like,
yeah, no big deal.
I said, well, let's just changethe angle.
Then let's get you over hereand just mix it up, get you a
little variety.
So I take it and and I noticedhe's the way he's standing in

(43:11):
front of her and I'm like, waita minute.
And so I'm like sitting theretaking photos and then I see him
reach in his pocket and I waslike, oh shit.
So I I on his phone, I click itover to video, cause I'm like,
is he?
And sure enough?
he proposes to her and I catchthis moment and I'm like yo,

(43:34):
that is yo congrats.
And so I give him the phone I,you know, best wishes for the
both of you.
And I start walking away andI'm like that's crazy.
But then I was like I'm goingto come back, so I come back and
I'm like can I take a selfiewith you guys?
And they're like, yeah, cool.
Then I was like actually I'mgonna do a video, and so I

(43:58):
stopped recording and I said,hey, thank you guys again.
Like you know, wish you thebest.
He looked at me and he said youknow, man, I was walking around
all day, he's like, with my nowfiance, he's like, and I was
just waiting for the rightperson to capture this moment.
And I walked away and I was likeyou know what?
There's that little boom punchin the gut where I was like dude

(44:19):
, dude, no, jr, that's not whatwe do, man.
But you know what?
We're human.
I'm human, I'm going to makethose errors, I'm going to make
those mistakes.
You would think that I wouldknow by now, despite all the
life that I've lived, you knowwhat.
But I'm a human being and I gotto get checked and life checked
me and I'm over, I'm all rightwith that and you know, and when
you talked about, like you,getting ready to host this event

(44:42):
and you've talked about wantingto do that, and you threw it
out there.
I mean there's power in that.
I mean, listen, I was in thehospital the first three months
and every evening when I wasdone with my daycare and and all
this stuff, what I would dowith my mother is we would watch
novelas, which are Spanish soapoperas, and one day I said to
my mom, I'm going to be on asoap opera one day.

(45:03):
I straight up said this to mymom and she was like, really?
And I said, yeah, she's like,oh, what's the storyline going
to be?
And I was like I don't know,I'm just going to have a
beautiful love interest.
Like that was my JR jokingaround.
Find out.
Five years later I get an emailto audition to become an actor
on All my Children and it wassupposed to be three months.
It turned into three years ofme being on that show.

(45:24):
Here's the art of payingattention to the signs.
While I was on All my Children,we would do these fan events
and it would be me with allthese other big actors and
daytime television, and Iremember specifically being at
one of these events and all thefans are there and they're
asking everybody a question.
And I'm not getting a lot ofquestions because I'm the new
guy on the scene.
And so finally, somebody saidto me JR question.

(45:48):
They're like we see yourpersonality.
This type of personality iscool, cool, cool.
Would you ever consider being onDancing with the Stars?
And that was the first time Inever heard and I was like did
you dance?
I was like no, I mean, I goofedaround but it wasn't anything
like where.
It was like oh, that dude coulddance, like I.
Just I had rhythm, and so I waskind of like.

(46:08):
I was like oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, just kind of threw it out.
They entertained it.
Fast forward 2011.
All my children announced thatthey're going to cancel later
that year.
I'm getting a flood of emailsand texts from friends and
people and they're like what areyou going to do next?
And then one person's like hey,whatever happened with that
dancing thing?
And I was like why does thiskeep coming up?
And so, sure enough, I went andasked somebody what they

(46:30):
thought about that and they werelike oh, my God, you would be
perfect.
We're going to make anintroduction.
So I went and had.
The meeting led to me going ondancing with the stars, and so
the point is is like you talkedabout wanting to like what's
next for me and, man, you knowthis would be fun to do and you
can throw that stuff out intothe world.
I mean, it works both ways.
They're like you could throwbad shit out in the world and be

(46:52):
prepared because those thingscan come to fruition as well If
you're throwing enough of thatout there.
But if you throw the good stuffout there as well, Like the
wildest thing, I was in ahospital fighting for my life,
learning how to walk again, andI'm throwing out.
I'm going to be on TV, a guywith this type of scarring on a
show with all these beautifulpeople, and I'm going to be on

(47:13):
that show.
And it happened.
I mean I'm going to be on thatshow and it happened.
I'm just telling you you haveto believe and you have to just
say this can't be it.
This moment can't be it.
This is only part of the story.
This isn't the entire story,and I still have an opportunity
to write it, and I'm not theonly example of that there are
so many examples of people thathave done such incredible things

(47:35):
with their life, despitewhatever adversity they've been
faced with.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
Yeah, it's so freaking powerful.
Thank you for sharing all ofthe short stories that you have
shared, and I was thinking itwas right in the middle of this
conversation, jared, that I hadthis thought.
You are perhaps the mostbeautiful person who I have ever
sat down and spoken with,because you're so freaking
present.
You're right here.

(47:59):
You're right here with me, andthat's where we started this
conversation, and it's just likeyou are a beautiful human being
who has made such an impact onso many people's lives, and not
just these big, huge dancingwith the stars ways, but on that
young man who saw you and waslike that's the person.
That's the person.
He didn't even know you andhe's just like that's the person
, and so that's what each of uscan be doing is showing up at

(48:23):
each of those street signs, eachof those moments that is there
for us.
So thank you so freaking much.
I had to tell you I took my veryfirst dance lesson just last
week, which I thought was sofunny that it ended up being
timed.
It was not intentionally timedwith this interview, but I went
to my friend's taking salsa andit was so fun.
It was so fun.
I don't know if the instructorswere like they do this to

(48:44):
everybody.
I'm like do you say this toeverybody?
They kept saying how manylessons have you taken?
And I'm like this is my first.
They made me feel so capable.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
As you're gliding across the dance floor.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
I'm sure it just looked Flowing.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
But you know the thing, you know, when I went on
that show, listen, that show wasa blast.
I loved being on that show andthat show it it won.
I've always but see and talkabout that DNA at the beginning.
So one of the things there weremy mom used to date this guy

(49:19):
when I was like four or five.
I mean, she dated him for a fewyears, but I remember being
about four or five years old andhe would sit in the living room
and play the piano and hesmoked and he would have a
cigarette in his mouth and acouple of times I actually went
over and I would sit next to himand I would take the cigarette
out of his mouth and dump theashes and put the cigarette back
in his mouth.
It was the closest thing to afather I ever experienced and so

(49:39):
you know, to me it was justkind of a special bonding moment
and so I'm why I would watchhim and he would sing these
Spanish love songs and I wouldsing them with them, because my
first language was Spanish, andI'd sing them with them.
And then he'd go and play inlike this hole in the wall bar
down the street and he wouldtake me every now and then.
Wall bar down the street and hewould take me every now and

(50:01):
then.
And here I am, five, six yearsold, dancing in front of all
these drunk people and they'relike loving me.
I mean loving me.
I'm sitting there singing inSpanish about heartache and
breakups and she left me forsomebody else, and you know all
this stuff that I really have noidea what the hell I'm talking
about.
And I'm dancing and he'splaying the piano and I would
sing one or two songs and thenthat'd be it.
I was always capable of beingthat person.

(50:24):
I was always that.
Right Now, life tried to sortof tame that and say you're not
and you're never going to be,but no, I am.
And dancing gave me theopportunity to allow that to
come out on an amazing stage andI was in my element 90 seconds
of dancing.

(50:44):
When I go back every now andthen and I watch a couple of
those routines, I'm like, ohyeah, right here I was feeling
it, like I was fully present init, in this moment, because this
is a moment that I may neverget to experience again and I'm
going to be present with thismoment and I loved it.

(51:05):
But it was, I mean, god.
It was so much fun andobviously it gave me an
opportunity to show the worldthat I was so much more than
what they thought I was.
A lot of people just thought Iwas a veteran, I was just a burn
victim, and well, they thoughtI was a disabled veteran, was
just a burn victim, and well,they thought I was a disabled
veteran.
And then they realized at theend of the show no, no, that's
Jr, that's the dude, that's aclown that has this personality,

(51:25):
that can dance.
He happens to be a veteran andhe also happens to be a burn
survivor.
So see how I changed.
Right, I changed the narrativearound me, but it was dope man
Like, and that's the thing Ilove about dancing is that
everyone like I'm the guy thatif you catch me at a bar, at a
club and you're going to catchme in a lot of clubs these days
but if you catch me at a bar andthey start playing some jams,

(51:47):
some throwbacks, I'm going to bethe dude.
That's going to be like creatinga circle and get everybody
strangers pulling people intothe middle.
Let's go do it.
And I'm the guy that lovespulling somebody into the circle
.
And this person dancing isdoing the most craziest shit
that you're like what are youdoing?
But if I try to do it, evenDerek Hough, who's an incredible

(52:09):
dancer, tried to do it hecouldn't.
And the reason why and that'swhy I love dancing because it's
unique to you.
It's unique to what you feel,what, how your body responds to
music and the beat and therhythm.
It's unique to you and I lovewatching people get out there
and do the craziest shit.
That probably wouldn't be alldancing with the stars, but it's

(52:31):
like that's the stuff that'sfunny.
That's them.
When somebody is dancing, theyare showing you who they are,
right, like they are showing youthis is who I am, and they're
calm.
And it's like someone said tome once, when the dogs like on
their back and you're rubbingtheir belly, that's like when

(52:51):
they're, when they feel safe andthey trust you know the
environment and the person safeand they trust you know the
environment and the person andI'm like, yeah, that that's what
dancing is to me.
When someone's doing that shit,while and out, you are in your
element, you feel safe, you feelseen, you feel validated and I
just love that.
Like that to me is what I love.
So, listen, but it's funnybecause you know I went, I went

(53:12):
on that show and everyone do youdance with your wife?
Did you teach your wife how todance?
Do you do those moves?
And I'm like, listen, I camehome in the first two weeks of
rehearsals and tried to teach mywife one routine that I was
working on with Karina and shecouldn't figure it out and we
haven't danced since.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
Maybe not the best dance instructor.
Maybe it was me.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Maybe it wasn't her, maybe it was me, and that is
fair, listen.
After I was on dancing.
So I started doing all thesespeaking engagements and people,
would you know, wouldstrategically be like hey, so,
jr, you're going to come andspeak at the event, but we have
Jen who also takes, you know,dance classes, and so we're

(53:56):
going to have her introduce youand maybe, when you walk on
stage, maybe you guys could do alittle something, something.
So at first I was like, yeah,I'll, I'll entertain it, like
it's, it's cute, like I'm thedancing champion, like this
can't be bad, right, and Irealized pretty quickly that you
would do something that lookedcompletely legit and I wouldn't.

(54:17):
I didn't know what the hell Iwas doing on stage and it
literally looked like a seventhgrade dance, so awkward, so
weird.
And and I told my team, I waslike, hey, cut that out, I'm not
going to do that anymore.
It's actually doesn't look thatgood on stage.
And then people were like, well, can you dip me for a photo?
And I was like, yeah, sure, Ican do that, like I know how to
dip.
And so I remember one timedipping this lady and I dropped

(54:41):
her and I was like, well, that'sthe end of that.
No dipping anybody anymore.
But it's funny because, like,people have this misconception
that when you go on that showthat I could just show up
anywhere with anybody and juststart dancing, and that's not
true.
Like you're taught veryspecific steps, a choreographed
routine, and unless you knowKarina steps, it's not going to

(55:06):
look the same way it did on theshow.
Trust me, I'm going to go backto doing the running man because
I mean, we can all vibe withthat.
Like that's just the way I getdown.
So it's just.
It's funny to me that, you know, people have this perception
that I'm Derek Hough and I amnowhere near Derek Hough.
Derek Hough is amazing.
He truly is.
He's talented.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
Well, I think you're pretty darn amazing.
There's also there's definitelysome metaphor in there that if
we had another hour to dissectit, we would about following the
steps and then trying to takeit somewhere else.
But we'll save that for nexttime you come on the podcast JR,
yeah let's do it.
And one final question.
I ask this of every singleperson who comes on the podcast

(55:46):
JR, where do you see the magicin the world?

Speaker 2 (55:52):
It's happened to me, it's been done for me and I've
done it for others.
I think the magic in the worldis just showing up for one
another and remembering thatwe're all human beings
navigating something difficult,something confusing, something

(56:17):
that you know doesn't quite makesense in the moment.
We're all just navigating,We've all got our own maps on
our own journeys, but at somepoint there's intersectionality
between all of our lives, all ofour worlds, and in that moment,
when you find yourself at thatintersection with another human
being, and in that moment whenyou find yourself at that

(56:38):
intersection with another humanbeing, it's important to just
show up for each other, Becauseyou never know what you might
give one another that's going tohelp you get to the next
intersection.
And there was plenty of pointsin my life when people never
showed up for me.
And then there were stages inmy life where so many people
showed up for me and I know whatit did for me.

(57:04):
It allowed me to get to thispoint in my life where, three
years after spending, afterthree years in a hospital listen
, I was.
I was for the next two yearsout of the military, I was
drinking, I was angry, I was nothappy and it took one person
really showing up for me and heallowed the JR to come back.
And I've just slowly had theseother examples and other
interactions with people thathave just solidified that and I

(57:27):
think I've been able to returnthat for other people as well.
And so I think the magic isjust showing up for one another
from a place of just love, andif we could all just breathe
with each other, you know, wemight figure some things out,
and we might figure some thingsout about ourselves and about
how much more we have in commonwith that person that we
normally would think we havenothing in common with.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
That's beautiful.
Thank you so much for showingup for us today and for being
here.
I'm a breath worker, by the way, so when you talk about
breathing, I'm like today andfor being here.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
I'm a breath worker, by the way, so when you talk
about breathing, I'm like, ohyeah.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
I'm right up your alley there.
Yeah, right on my alley.
Yeah, okay, where can peoplesee you showing up on social
media?
Where?
Where can they best connectwith you?

Speaker 2 (58:08):
Yeah, so listen, I'm on all the platforms LinkedIn,
Instagram, Facebook.
I don't really do the tick tockthing as much, but I am on
social media.
I am JRMartinez, or you can hitup my website, JRMartinezcom.
I mean, listen, I always say,you know, once people, once your
listeners, you know, see orlisten to this episode if

(58:30):
there's anything they feelinclined, they want to share,
get some feedback.
You know, you know how to findme and I encourage and I welcome
all of it.
So, thank you, Thank you somuch for creating this platform,
for creating this space and forsharing an hour of your
audience.
You know, with me.
I really appreciate it.
It was a great conversation.
I enjoyed it.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
Yeah, so glad to have you here.
Thank you so much.
Oh my freaking goodness, jr,thank you so much for coming on
the podcast and sharingeverything that you shared so
good.
I can't wait to dive in in thisweek's Thursday Thread.
So stay tuned for that.
We're going to pull out a nuggetof this conversation, go a
little bit deeper and we willend that conversation, as we

(59:12):
always do on Thursdays, with amoment of breathwork, which we
also talked about.
Thanks so much, jr, for callingout breathwork as something
that is genuinely so important.
When we talk about the idea ofpresence and being in the
present moment, we could hear itin his story.
That was really.
What saved him was his abilityto be present when his eyes were

(59:34):
closing, his ability to bepresent even in the pain, his
ability to be present with everyconversation that he had, with
every veteran who he wasspeaking with.
Everything has led him thosemoments with his mom in his
hospital room where they werewatching the novellas.
Everything has led to thispoint, and it's that ability to

(59:55):
really be there Wherever you are, be there Wherever you are.
There you are, oh, the morethat we can be present, the more
beautiful of an impact you canmake on your life and others.
Thank you so much for listeningto this episode.
I hope you enjoyed it.
If there was something that youthreaded out for yourself that
you really loved, that you thinkanother friend, or maybe all of

(01:00:16):
your friends, would enjoy.
Share this episode, take alittle screenshot of it.
If you share it to social mediaand tag me, I will reshare you.
Tag JR.
He would absolutely love to seethat this is making an impact.
It makes such a difference.
Sometimes I think we forget too.
With somebody who has reachedcelebrity status, it means the
freaking world to them.
You listening and feelinginspired is the reason that he

(01:00:40):
is doing what he does, and thesame is true for everyone.
So tag him.
He would absolutely love to see, as with everybody who comes on
this podcast, that you lovedlistening to it.
So thank you so much forlistening.
You just keep shining yourmagical, radiant unicorn light
out there for all to see.
See you next time, bye.

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The power of presence in overcoming life's biggest obstacles – with J.R. Martinez

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}The power of presence in overcoming life's biggest obstacles – with J.R. Martinez