January 30, 2025 • 38 mins
What’s on your mind, unicorn? 🦄 Send me a text!
Ever feel like something invisible is keeping you from living the life you truly want? In this episode, we’re peeling back the layers on the four biggest things that hold us back—and how to break free of these Big 4 Tethers.
I’ll take you inside my own experience of making a big, scary move to Oregon, not as a forever decision, but as an experiment in following my inner knowing. We’ll also dive into the powerful story of Maya Lombarts, who defied medical expectations and family pressures to create a life that aligns with her true self. Her journey is a testament to what happens when you stop listening to fear and start trusting your own voice.
From pragmatic advice to mindset and somatic exercises to support you in releasing tethers, this episode is a must-listen as you step into 2025.
As always, our Thursday Thread ends with a mini breathwork session.
Here’s what we’re unpacking in this episode:
- The four sneaky things that keep you stuck (and how to move past them)
- How small, intentional steps can unlock possibilities you never imagined
- Why fear of permanence is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves
- The power of joy and intuition in guiding you toward your next best step
- How to shift your mindset to see challenges as opportunities instead of roadblocks
4 Tethers Holding You Back From Living Your Best Life:
- Hearing that a decision is permanent
- Being afraid of what other people will think
- Feeling like you have to have it all figured out
- Listening to what others this is bet for you
At the end of the episode, I’ll lead you through a guided meditation to help you connect with your own inner wisdom—because the answers you’re looking for? They’re already inside you.
Let’s do this. Hit play and start stepping into the life that’s been waiting for you.
🔥 Ready to step into your next level? Join us at Island Awakening in Saint Martin from June 4-8, 2025! Let’s rise together. 🌴✨
💫 Claim your spot now: jenliss.com/retreat
Support the pod:
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- Leave a review!
Music created and produced by Matt Bollenbach
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
And welcome to Untethered with Jen Liss, the
podcast that's here to help youbreak free, be you and unleash
your inner brilliance.
I'm your host, jen, and in thisepisode we're going to talk
about four of the biggesttethers that may be holding you
back and what to do about them.
Let's dive in.
Hey there, unicorn, it's Jen.
(00:33):
Welcome back to the podcast forthis Thursday thread.
It's a Thursday thread.
It's a Thursday thread, so it'sa Thursday thread episode,
pulling a little string from ourepisode on Tuesday with Maya
Lombard.
So, whether you listen to thatepisode or not, this episode
will be definitely beneficial toyou, because we're going to
talk about some big things witha capital T, but not things
(00:58):
tethers.
Oh, those old things, those oldthings, those little tethers.
Yeah, we're going to talk aboutthose things that are keeping
us from living our mostbrilliant and authentic life.
We're going to dig into four ofthose, and all of these came up
in this conversation that Ispoke about with Maya.
So Maya is a person who was bornand raised in Belgium and in
(01:23):
her teen, she was diagnosed witha disease.
The doctors told her you'regoing to have this disease your
entire life.
You're always going to have towatch your energy.
You're always going to have towalk with this cane.
This is just your life and shedid not accept that.
And she also did not acceptthat she had to spend all of her
life in Belgium, even thoughit's what her family wanted,
even though it's what her momwanted.
She chose not to live that life.
(01:46):
She chose a different life forherself and she listened to her
inner voice.
And so super powerful story.
If you want to go back andlisten to that story, there are
a few things that came up alongthe way where some of the people
who I interview on this podcast.
I look at them and I say you'redoing it, you're doing it.
Please come on the podcast andtell us how you're doing it,
(02:06):
because there are so many thingsthat can keep all of us.
It's the number one regret ofthe dying.
The top regret of the dying isI did not live my life on my
terms.
I did not live the life that Ifelt like was true to me.
I did not live authentically, Idid not do all the things that
I wanted to do, and I regret it,and it's my goal for you to not
get to that moment in time andregret it.
(02:29):
I want you to regret it, noregrets.
I think we're always going tohave my personal belief on
regret.
There's always going to bethings that we're like, ah, I
wish I might've done itdifferently.
And it's also my belief that wecan turn every single one of
those into a gift or opportunity.
Everything that we feel like isa oh, I wish I should have or
(02:52):
would have or could have done isactually a gift.
There's always a gift inwhatever decision we made,
always, always, always.
Huge fan of decision-making fromour intuition and finding the
gifts no matter what, becausethere's gifts along the way
always and when we know that itmakes breaking these tethers so
(03:14):
much easier.
So, beginning there, when wecan find a gift and an
opportunity in everything Now,it's hard sometimes to find the
gift in the moment.
Sometimes it might need twohours, it might need 20 minutes,
it might need two days, twoweeks, two months, two years,
two decades.
Sometimes it takes a while tofind the gift, but there's
(03:35):
always a gift there.
And when we know that we cansometimes get to the gift a
little bit faster, faster we canget to the gift faster we can
let go of any tethers.
But let's talk about four.
We got four big tethers that Iwant to talk about today.
These are things that could beholding you back from living
(03:57):
your most magical, mostbrilliant life.
Number one and we talked aboutthis quite a bit in Maya's
conversation Fearing that adecision is permanent.
This fear that a decision thatyou make is absolutely
positively permanent and we'lltake it to.
I'll give my personal example.
(04:18):
When Joey and I decided to moveto Oregon, so much of what kept
us from moving to the PacificNorthwest we'd had this kind of
interesting desire to move awayfrom home.
Since we got together, we cameto the Pacific Northwest for the
very first time in I think itwas 2007.
He has a brother who lives uphere and we were both like magic
(04:40):
.
We both felt really called tothis area.
We really, really loved it andwe actually didn't even know
that this is where we were goingto end up living even at the
time when we ended up movinghere.
It's not like we were targetingthe pacific northwest, we just
ended up here, but we had thatlittle something in us that was
like oh, what might that be like?
(05:01):
And and so much.
Actually, several of these toother we're going to talk about
actually were engaged in us notmoving away from home, but one
of them was that feeling that ifI decide that we're going to do
this, we're going to move 1500miles away from home, that it's
going to be a permanent decision, that all the stakes are on me
(05:26):
making that decision.
Once I do it, I will feelshameful, I will feel regret,
maybe if I don't like it.
Now, once I got here and oncewe settled in and once I started
seeing things now from thedifferent perspective of having
experience moving away from home, it doesn't feel like it would
(05:46):
be such a big deal to movenumber one, to move somewhere
else, like, oh, we did it, wedid it.
Oh, my gosh, we did it.
Look at me, we did the thing.
Holy shit, look at what we cando.
I have this knowing in my bodynow that I could do it again and
I could do it again and I coulddo it again and I could go home
and not feel shameful about it.
Now I think that shame we'renot going to dig into shame
(06:09):
today.
Shame is a big old tether.
That's a big tether.
But if I had, I don't intend togo back to Wichita, kansas, if
somehow my journey did end uptaking me back there.
If we did end up moving backthere, I would be okay with it.
But before we moved here,before we did the thing, before
(06:30):
we took action and actuallymoved and had the experience of
living in a different place, Ithought how terrible would that
be to go all the way there to doall of this and then end up
right back here.
So here's my message to youabout this tether of feeling
like a decision that we make isabsolutely permanent.
(06:52):
Let yourself experience doingthe thing that you want to do.
Let yourself engage in theactual experience, because
nothing is permanent, nothing,nothing.
You are on a spinning ball ofrock, which is actually energy
that is just moving.
(07:12):
We're living in utter chaos,you guys, actual chaos, and I
don't say that to totally freakyou out, but maybe do the things
that you want to freaking do.
We're here for a blink of aneye.
Let yourself experience,because once you experience,
your perspective is going to betotally different from this
(07:34):
perspective.
Now You're not going to beafraid of the same things that
you were afraid of.
So here's what to do about thattether If you're like I really
want to do it, but I'm afraidthat blank, or I'm afraid that
this is going to happen.
Just do the thing.
Just do it, just freaking.
Let yourself do it, and itdoesn't have to be the full,
(07:58):
huge thing.
Let yourself start applying forjobs.
If you want to move we're goingto use this example of moving
because it's relevant to Maya'sconversation too Start applying
for jobs in other places.
See what it feels like whensomebody gives you a callback
and you interview for a job in adifferent city.
What is the harm?
(08:18):
What is the harm in lettingyourself go through the
interview process for a job inFlorida, letting yourself call a
realtor in Costa Rica, lettingyourself go and tour some
apartments in Kansas City whenyou live in Wichita, three hours
away?
Let yourself engage in abehavior that takes you in a
(08:39):
step toward that nudge that youwere feeling.
It can be the tiniest thing,because that's what happened
with Joey and I when we ended upmoving to the Pacific Northwest
.
We both sat down our very firststep.
I said, okay, each of us make alist of cities in the US that
we would be willing to live in.
Each of us made a list, 25cities, 25 cities that each of
(09:01):
us were willing to live in.
And then we whittled our listseach of us were willing to live
in.
And then we whittled our lists,each of our lists.
We brought them together and wesat down and we had a session
and we said, okay, raleigh,north Carolina I don't remember
if that was on both of our liststhere was a city in North
Carolina.
There was Charleston.
South Carolina, I know was onthe list.
Portland Oregon was obviouslyon the list.
New Orleans was on my list butit absolutely was not on Joey's
(09:25):
and I was very sad about it.
So I was like but we can onlylive there for like a year.
He's like I don't want to livein New Orleans.
So we had that discussion andit brought up so much for us and
it engaged a level ofexcitement that we both didn't.
We hadn't previously letourselves feel so by engaging in
this activity where we both didthis thing.
And then we came together andthen we're like well, okay, joey
(09:46):
sat down and he startedapplying for jobs in our
collective cities that we hadwhittled down to.
He applied at jobs all over thecountry.
He ended up going andinterviewing at one in North
Carolina.
He ended up being offered thatjob, turned it down.
Same day he got this call fromPortland, oregon.
We felt like it was a sign fromthe universe and we ended up
(10:07):
here.
So that's that story.
But really, where it started andthe importance of releasing
this tether is taking a teeny,tiny, aligned action.
And that action is not thinking.
That action is a physical doingof something.
So, whatever it is that youwant to do maybe it's writing a
book that is something that isone of my dreams Sit down and
(10:30):
write the page, write the firstpage.
Sit down and do the thing, dothe thing, take the action,
engage with it.
How does it feel?
Was that fun?
Let yourself feel the fun.
Let yourself feel it.
We will just hold ourselvesback and that's just totally
your nervous system taking careof you and being like it's not
safe to change this familiarhell is wonderful.
(10:51):
Your nervous system thinks thatthat is true and it is not.
Not true, fake news, okay,number two.
So number one was fearing adecision is permanent.
It's not.
Let yourself engage in a tinyaction of change that is going
to start to show you that thisis a fun decision that you
actually really want to make.
Number two fearing what otherpeople might think.
(11:14):
Being afraid of what otherpeople are going to think.
I'm convinced that this is thebiggest tether that is keeping
us because we naturally, ashuman beings, we want belonging,
we want to be part of the tribe, we need to belong.
We needed to belong and westill need it.
Actually, belonging is whatkeeps us healthy and secure and
(11:38):
healthy in our nervous systems.
Finding that sense of belongingwith our community is very,
very important to us.
That's not just something thatwent away as we have evolved
into modern society.
We still have that need.
But when we were in tribes, weneeded belonging to stay safe
from saber-toothed tigers thatcould be around any corner.
(11:59):
We didn't have cities to keepourselves safe, so we needed
belonging.
We don't want to be outcast.
If you're outcast, you couldactually be physically harmed.
And the same is true now.
If you're outcast from yourtribe, from a tribe, if you
don't have connections withother human beings, your nervous
system feels unsafe.
We feel safe in the collective,we feel safe being part of a
(12:25):
group.
It is one of the very firstthings that your nervous system
does If, say, imagine you're outon a hike and you're hiking
along and you hear a scary soundand you think, oh my gosh,
there might be a tiger in thisforest, legitimately.
Sometimes my brain is likethere's a tiger.
There are no tigers justwandering around in Portland
(12:46):
Oregon, but maybe there's amountain lion or something.
The very first thing that yourbody will do, the very first
thing that you do, is to lookfor other people.
If you don't see other people,the next thing that you want to
do, the urge that you will feel,is to call out we seek support,
we seek help.
(13:07):
We need that belonging.
Now, that need for belonging iswhat causes us to care so dang
much about what other peoplethink.
It's your nervous system.
So when we notice ourselves notdoing something that we know is
truly aligned for us, there'ssomething that you want to do
(13:27):
Like.
You just really want to do it.
Take Maya's example.
She really wanted to move backto Peru, but her mom didn't want
her to.
So she's dealing with thissituation of feeling like I
might hurt my mom.
I'm going to potentially bekicked out from the herd.
My mom is going to not love meanymore.
(13:49):
She's going to love me less.
She's going to hate that I'mdoing this.
All of the things I mean.
I felt all the exact same thingsfrom my parents, whether or not
they were actually projectingthat onto me.
I felt like it was true.
I felt like they are going tokick me out of the family,
they're not going to love meanymore.
I felt it with my siblings, Ifelt it with my going to kick me
out of the family.
They're not going to love meanymore.
I felt it with my siblings, Ifelt it with my parents.
So in order for me to move, inorder for Maya to move, for us
(14:11):
to do this, we had to deal withour nervous systems.
We had to remind ourselves thatit is safe to follow our dreams
.
It is safe for me to try.
And let's go back to tethernumber one that we talked about
no decision is permanent.
Nothing is permanent.
(14:32):
I can always go back.
So reminding ourselves thatchange is possible can be
helpful, and doing that whiletending to your nervous system.
So one of the practices that Ilove to do, of course, is
breathwork and reminding myselfvia breathwork.
There's a lot of grounding.
What I would suggest is agrounding technique of some sort
(14:53):
.
You can go into nature andactually combining multiple of
these together is deeplysupportive.
You can go into nature and gofor a walk and let yourself
remember, into nature and go fora walk and let yourself
remember.
This is why I want to do thisand to be curious with yourself.
(15:14):
Why is it that I want to dothis?
What is driving me to want todo this thing?
What is exciting to me aboutthis?
Follow your light, what is thelight that is here for me?
And, as you remember, as you,let your body respond, as your
body says, this sounds reallyfun.
This is just something thatI've always wanted to do.
I've always wanted to write abook and I'm excited and I feel
(15:35):
like I've got a story to tell.
I've got something inside of methat wants to come out.
You can take some deep breaths.
What I recommend is the pulsebreath, which is chew into the
nose and chew out through themouth.
So you breathe in twice in thenose, breathe out twice through
the mouth, while remindingyourself it is safe for me to
(15:57):
want things for me, it is safefor me to do things that are fun
for me, and it is safe for myparents to want me to stay.
It's okay that they want me tostay and it's okay for me to
want to go.
It's okay that I worry that thebook might not be picked up
(16:20):
from a publisher and it's okayfor me to go through the act of
writing the book.
So we do the and whilesimultaneously regulating our
nervous system.
Because what conscious breathdoes for you is it activates
your parasympathetic nervoussystem, it grounds you, it
brings you into the presentmoment, which is where you can
(16:42):
make your best decisions for you, and it's where those tethers
release.
When we come into the presentmoment, there's no tethers.
You're untethered when you'refully in the present moment.
So that is how we release.
Tether number two, fearing whatother people might think.
Tether number three, feelinglike you have to have it all
(17:02):
figured out.
I need to know all of the steps.
I have to know exactly how thisis going to happen.
I need to know the outcome.
I need to know that if I amgoing to quit my job, or if I'm
going to start a side hustle, orif I'm going to do this thing
that I really want to do, thatit is going to be successful.
(17:24):
I need to know that I'm goingto do this thing that I really
want to do, that it is going tobe successful.
I need to know that I'm goingto make $100,000.
I need to know the exact stepsthat are going to get me there.
That's where we get in our headand the truth is that we don't
know.
We don't know the exact stepsthat are going to get us to a
place.
We don't know.
We don't know if we're going tomake $100,000.
We might make $700,000.
(17:45):
We might make $7 million, wemight make $7 billion.
We don't know what the ultimateoutcome is going to be.
But what we do know.
Here's what we do know.
You know that you are beingcalled to do something.
You're being called forward.
You have a nudge, you have acuriosity, you've got a little
(18:07):
something that is inside of youthat is driving you into action.
And the more you keep tellingyourself I've got to have all
the steps figured out, the moreyou're going to trip over your
own feet and you're not going tolet that thing drive you.
It's driving you, you're notdriving it.
This is a self-driving carsituation.
If you keep trying to takecontrol of the wheel, it's going
(18:28):
to get all kinds of wacky.
Let it drive you.
Let your light, your curiosity,your creativity, your fun, your
joy, your magic drive you.
The more we let that happen,it's going to take us exactly
where we need to go.
More.
We let that happen.
It's going to take us exactlywhere we need to go.
(18:49):
Release control of the wheel.
How do we do that?
Your nervous system?
We remind our nervous systemthat it's safe.
It's safe to have fun, it'ssafe to follow my joy, it's safe
to do these things that Ireally want to do.
It's safe for other people tosee me trip over my own feet and
fail.
It's safe for me to let myselffail so that I can find the gift
(19:09):
and the opportunity in thatexperience.
That's how we let go of thosesteps.
When somebody very first said tome you've got to release the
how, I was like what the F areyou even talking about?
But once you let yourself havean experience where you say you
know what, I'm just going tofollow my fun.
I'm going to choose in thismoment to follow my fun and I'm
(19:32):
going to let myself see where itleads.
And I know I'm going to find agift and an opportunity, no
matter where it goes.
Try this with something teenytiny.
With something teeny tiny,don't plan your day.
Have a day where you're likeI'm just not going to plan my
day, I'm literally going tofollow my fun.
I'm going to ask myself everyhour what fun thing do I want to
(19:57):
do, what sounds fun for me,what would be delightful right
now, and watch how that dayunfolds for you.
Imagine that being your entirelife, because likely, here's my
guess is, at the end of the day,you're going to be feeling
really good.
You're going to be feeling sogood, you're going to be feeling
really magical, and you mighthave a conversation with
(20:19):
somebody.
Maybe you go to a coffee shopand you sit down and you are lit
up, and so they're like oh,what's going on in her day?
Everybody else who's come inhere has looked really groggy.
But you're lit up and so youstart to have a conversation
with this person and what youlearn is that they're actually
an ideal client.
And you're like oh, I actuallydo that for a living.
(20:42):
Have you ever thought aboutthis?
And you give them that questionand the next time you go into
the coffee shop, they're like Iwas thinking about that thing
that you said.
What do you do?
You do life coaching.
What is that?
Tell me more.
And then they start followingyou on Instagram and then, two
months from now, they becomeyour client, maybe two days from
now, but it's more likely thatYou're sowing seeds, and we're
(21:02):
sowing seeds with our light, allday, every day, and you are not
watering your seeds when you'rehanging out in shit that you
don't want to do and when you'refeeling like you have to have
it all figured out and you'rejust tripping over your own feet
and you're grabbing the wheel.
It's like that whole phraseJesus, take the wheel.
(21:22):
That's the truth of it.
That's the truth of it.
Get your hands off the wheeland let your fun steer you,
because it knows exactly whereto take you to that brilliant
life.
A brilliant life.
The more we try to control it,the more you're going to get to
the end of your life and be likedamn it.
That's not what I thought waslaid out before me and I don't
(21:45):
want that for you.
So that was tether.
Number three feeling like youhave to have it all figured out.
Number four listening to howothers think that you should
live.
Now, this is similar to tethertwo and fearing what other
people might think, but alsodifferent.
Also different, because here'sthis funny thing about the human
(22:05):
condition is that we think weknow best for other people.
Right, you know it.
If you've got kids, we sometimesthink that we know best.
I think it with my nieces andmy nephews, I think it with my
siblings, I think it with myparents, I think it with my
spouse.
I feel like sometimes, whydon't they just blank and we can
(22:28):
?
Why don't they just blankeverybody to death?
We're all doing this.
Admit it.
You do it to other people too.
So do I.
We all do it, because we do.
We see things in other peopleand we see opportunities and in
our lives we can't always seethe opportunities clearly for
ourselves and other people areseeing them.
(22:49):
But you might not be ready forit yet.
We're often not ready for thething that other people might
see for us.
So that's one side.
There's two sides of the cointhat I like to talk about.
Sometimes we're just not yetready for the thing.
For example, very early on in myexploration of what I wanted to
(23:14):
do with an online business,multiple people said Jen, you
should be coaching people.
You're coaching me right now.
You should be coaching people.
I could not see it for myself.
I couldn't see it.
I wasn't ready.
I needed to have a few moreexperiences.
I needed to get more belief inmyself.
I needed to let myself grow,and then I was ready for it.
(23:36):
So what other people thought Ishould be doing?
If I had tried it at that point, it would maybe have been a
little bit too much.
I might have tried coaching andbeen like that was a fricking
failure, holy banana bread.
Nope, not doing this ever again.
But I instead went on my ownpath and eventually found my way
(23:58):
into coaching, gained theexperience, gained the belief.
I moved along on my path byfollowing my own light and I see
so many beautiful people doingthis all day, every day, and we
can listen to those other peoplefor thoughts, of advice and
like a little bit of steeringfor us.
But we're only going to say yesto things when we are fully
(24:21):
ready, and that's really at thepace that you should be saying
yes to things I don't shouldvery often, but when you are
ready and when it feels fun andexciting to you, not when
somebody else is pushing it onyou, and a great coach knows
this too.
A great coach will let somebodyself-coach.
Great coaches help you toself-coach.
They don't tell you what to doto self-coach.
(24:46):
They don't tell you what to do.
We don't really want anybodytelling us what to do, because
nobody knows but you.
Nobody can feel your dream butyou.
Nobody can feel your joy andyour light but you.
So, even if your mom wants youto stay in your corporate job
because that feels very safe andthat feels like what she was
raised with, and you lovednumbers when you were a kid.
So of course, you're anaccountant.
(25:06):
That's what you're always meantto do.
That's what you're meant to be.
Look at how stable it is, howwonderful it is, but you're
miserable.
Your mom can't.
She can't feel your misery.
She doesn't know.
She can't feel that you knowthat there's something more or
something different for you.
They can't feel it.
They can't feel this desirethat you might have to go and
(25:27):
explore and live an entirelydifferent way.
They can't feel it.
Nobody else can feel yourfeelings but you.
So what other people think thatyou should be doing and how you
should be living is completelyirrelevant to your life's design
, because your life's design isaccording to what you feel, what
(25:52):
you are sensing, the energythat is flowing through you,
your glittery magic that youwere meant to pour out into the
world Ain't nobody going to beable to tell you how to do it.
But you, now you can findmentors and advisors and I
suggest this because they appearin your life and you're
interested in what they aredoing or what they are offering,
because it's your light.
(26:13):
It's your light that has guidedyou to that person, and so you
can listen to them.
But do beware when somebody'stelling you what to do.
Beware at every corner.
When somebody says this is whatyou need to do, beware.
And we all fall into this rightAgain, it's part of the human
(26:33):
condition.
We think that we know betterfor people and I catch myself
falling into that occasionallywith clients too, it's like ooh,
that was a moment of tellingwhen I could have supported them
and self-coaching a little bit.
Now, sometimes there aremoments where you recognize it
would be maybe supportive toshare this with somebody and
they can take it or they canleave it.
But what I'm suggesting for youis that you recognize fully and
(26:58):
completely that your life isgoing to be best lived by
following what feels good to you.
My friend Wendy I can'tremember her exact quote the
other day, but she saidsomething to me like God is not
mean, god does not have a meansense of humor.
The universe is not mean, it isnot sending you on some
(27:21):
terrible path.
Everything that is happening inyour life's path is for design.
It's here to support you, it'shere to support the world, it's
here to support other people.
So continue to follow thatlight.
You can trust it.
There's not a lot else that wecan trust to actually be
constant and true in thislifetime.
(27:42):
Again, we're kind of living inwhat's actual chaos.
If we could see all of thelittle energetic things that are
happening around us all thetime, you are actually energy
that is constantly moving.
Your fingertip is not still,it's not stagnant.
It's made of tiny littlemolecules nothing smaller than
molecules quirks and things thatare all swirling around all the
time and it kind of boggles thebrain right.
(28:02):
Your brain can't see that onpurpose, because if you could
see that, we would all just belike we wouldn't be getting
anything done.
But I point it out because theone thing that is constant is
your light, is your path, is thejourney that you are being led
on.
So let yourself be led.
When you let yourself be led,that tether completely goes away
(28:24):
.
And with all of these fourtethers that we have talked
about today, here's the constant, the thing that is going to
support you the most on youruntethering journey, on your
journey back to your most truest, authentic self, the truest
authentic expression of yourself, the truest, most authentic
life that you live, is learningto become present in the moment.
(28:50):
That's when you can connectwith that light.
We can't connect with our lightsometime in the future or
sometimes in the past.
Now we can do inner child workand we can do higher self future
work yes, of course we canconnect with that.
But the worrying and thefestering and the wondering and
the thinking that I need to knowall of those things there's no
(29:10):
present moment light magic inthose moments.
Those moments are simply thereto guide you back home to your
light, to guide you back homeinto the present and to connect
inward.
So, as we do on every Thursdayepisode, let's take some time to
connect inward and to connectwith the present moment and that
(29:31):
light that is right here insideof you.
If you're able to be seated andclose down your eyes with me,
that's something that I'm goingto invite in this practice today
.
If you're driving, you canlisten in while keeping keen
attention on the road, or youcan come back and listen later.
If you're walking, just softenyour gaze, be aware of your
surroundings.
But you can soften your gazeand do this while walking.
(29:53):
I do walking, breathwork andmeditation all the time and
highly recommend it.
Actually, it is a great way tobe in nature while
simultaneously being mindful.
If you are seated, taking anice big, deep inhale into the
nose, really feeling theexpansion of your belly, letting
(30:18):
that inhale go, letting thatinhale go, taking another inhale
, letting that exhale go, maybewith an audible sigh, letting go
(30:38):
of control of the breath for amoment here, letting your body
breathe itself, noticing therise and the fall of your chest,
the rise and the fall of yourstomach, the temperature of air
(31:12):
as it moves into your nostrils,noticing if there's a
temperature difference in theair as it moves out through your
nostrils, Bringing yourawareness to where your body is
(31:40):
meeting the seat beneath you orwhere each foot is meeting the
ground, seeing if you can noticehow that support that is
beneath your body, that'sbeneath your feet, it's really
supporting you.
Taking an inhale into the nose,filling up the belly once again
(32:05):
and, on your exhale, releasinginto that support and letting
yourself be held, lettingyourself be held, letting
yourself be supported, justcontinuing to let your body
(32:29):
breathe itself, connecting intothe heart space, maybe noticing
any sensations there in theheart space.
Maybe noticing any sensationsthere in the heart space,
noticing if it feels open, if itfeels loose, if it feels like
(32:56):
there's any tightness or tension, no judgment or just noise.
You notice that there's anytension.
Drawing another of those bigbreaths into the heart space,
breathing into the heart,pausing at the top, exhaling
(33:22):
into that support again, onceagain, breathing into the heart,
exhaling into the support.
Seeing if you can bring yourawareness into that heart space
(33:56):
once again, noticing if anythingshifted or changed with those
few breaths.
Connecting to the beat of yourown heart, this muscle that puts
(34:16):
energy in motion through yourbody all day, every day.
This muscle that, throughshifting that energy, is
connected to your inner knowing.
(34:41):
It's connected to the mind andeverything it thinks, connected
to the gut and everything itfeels.
This heart is connected to thehands and everything they create
and the feet.
(35:01):
Everywhere you go, bringingyour awareness into that heart
space and that energy that isbeing created right there in the
center of your core,envisioning a light in that
(35:26):
space, just placing a star rightin the middle, right in the
center of your chest, a star asthough you've plucked it from
the sky and placed it rightthere in the center of your
chest, taking another breath asyou breathe into that light,
(35:47):
into that star, seeing the lightgrow, exhaling, inhaling,
feeling the expansion of thatenergy, exhaling Last inhale,
feeling that energy, that lightfrom the heart space, from that
(36:07):
star, reaching all corners ofyour body, the heads, the hands,
the feet, like a bright,shining star, your full body
filled with light, like a bright, shining star, your full body
filled with light, letting thatinhale go, turning back to your
(36:34):
natural breath, letting yourselfbask in the glow of this light,
of this energy, Maybe askingyourself what is it that I truly
(36:59):
?
live for Allowing this lightyour heart to respond.
What is it that I truly livefor?
That response can come in aword or a phrase, or a feeling
(37:21):
Beautiful, taking one finalinhale, big inhale into the
belly, filling up that belly.
Letting that exhale go with asigh, and then a sigh Admitting
(37:46):
to your heart, to your body, toyour gut, to your mind, that you
will move forward with this,knowing that what you truly live
for is the life that you aremeant to live, and that you will
let yourself be guided by thislight.
Thank you so much for listeningto this episode.
(38:09):
It truly means the world to methat you would listen.
If you gained somethingbeautiful from this episode,
something thoughtful, Iencourage you to share it with a
friend who might need to hearit too.
It with a friend who might needto hear it too.
Maybe there's someone in yourlife who has been struggling to
live the life that they trulywant to live, or to believe in
the possibilities and the dreamsthat are calling on their heart
.
If you'd like to share it withall of your friends, you can
(38:30):
take a screenshot of thisepisode.
Share it on social media.
Tag me.
I'm Untethered, jen.
I will always reshare yourposts when you tag me.
Thanks again so much forlistening.
You just keep shining yourmagical radiant unicorn light
out there for all to see.
See you next time.
Bye.
And welcome to Untethered with Jen Liss, the
podcast that's here to help youbreak free, be you and unleash
your inner brilliance.
I'm your host, jen, and in thisepisode we're going to talk
about four of the biggesttethers that may be holding you
back and what to do about them.
Let's dive in.
Hey there, unicorn, it's Jen.
(00:33):
Welcome back to the podcast forthis Thursday thread.
It's a Thursday thread.
It's a Thursday thread, so it'sa Thursday thread episode,
pulling a little string from ourepisode on Tuesday with Maya
Lombard.
So, whether you listen to thatepisode or not, this episode
will be definitely beneficial toyou, because we're going to
talk about some big things witha capital T, but not things
(00:58):
tethers.
Oh, those old things, those oldthings, those little tethers.
Yeah, we're going to talk aboutthose things that are keeping
us from living our mostbrilliant and authentic life.
We're going to dig into four ofthose, and all of these came up
in this conversation that Ispoke about with Maya.
So Maya is a person who was bornand raised in Belgium and in
(01:23):
her teen, she was diagnosed witha disease.
The doctors told her you'regoing to have this disease your
entire life.
You're always going to have towatch your energy.
You're always going to have towalk with this cane.
This is just your life and shedid not accept that.
And she also did not acceptthat she had to spend all of her
life in Belgium, even thoughit's what her family wanted,
even though it's what her momwanted.
She chose not to live that life.
(01:46):
She chose a different life forherself and she listened to her
inner voice.
And so super powerful story.
If you want to go back andlisten to that story, there are
a few things that came up alongthe way where some of the people
who I interview on this podcast.
I look at them and I say you'redoing it, you're doing it.
Please come on the podcast andtell us how you're doing it,
(02:06):
because there are so many thingsthat can keep all of us.
It's the number one regret ofthe dying.
The top regret of the dying isI did not live my life on my
terms.
I did not live the life that Ifelt like was true to me.
I did not live authentically, Idid not do all the things that
I wanted to do, and I regret it,and it's my goal for you to not
get to that moment in time andregret it.
(02:29):
I want you to regret it, noregrets.
I think we're always going tohave my personal belief on
regret.
There's always going to bethings that we're like, ah, I
wish I might've done itdifferently.
And it's also my belief that wecan turn every single one of
those into a gift or opportunity.
Everything that we feel like isa oh, I wish I should have or
(02:52):
would have or could have done isactually a gift.
There's always a gift inwhatever decision we made,
always, always, always.
Huge fan of decision-making fromour intuition and finding the
gifts no matter what, becausethere's gifts along the way
always and when we know that itmakes breaking these tethers so
(03:14):
much easier.
So, beginning there, when wecan find a gift and an
opportunity in everything Now,it's hard sometimes to find the
gift in the moment.
Sometimes it might need twohours, it might need 20 minutes,
it might need two days, twoweeks, two months, two years,
two decades.
Sometimes it takes a while tofind the gift, but there's
(03:35):
always a gift there.
And when we know that we cansometimes get to the gift a
little bit faster, faster we canget to the gift faster we can
let go of any tethers.
But let's talk about four.
We got four big tethers that Iwant to talk about today.
These are things that could beholding you back from living
(03:57):
your most magical, mostbrilliant life.
Number one and we talked aboutthis quite a bit in Maya's
conversation Fearing that adecision is permanent.
This fear that a decision thatyou make is absolutely
positively permanent and we'lltake it to.
I'll give my personal example.
(04:18):
When Joey and I decided to moveto Oregon, so much of what kept
us from moving to the PacificNorthwest we'd had this kind of
interesting desire to move awayfrom home.
Since we got together, we cameto the Pacific Northwest for the
very first time in I think itwas 2007.
He has a brother who lives uphere and we were both like magic
(04:40):
.
We both felt really called tothis area.
We really, really loved it andwe actually didn't even know
that this is where we were goingto end up living even at the
time when we ended up movinghere.
It's not like we were targetingthe pacific northwest, we just
ended up here, but we had thatlittle something in us that was
like oh, what might that be like?
(05:01):
And and so much.
Actually, several of these toother we're going to talk about
actually were engaged in us notmoving away from home, but one
of them was that feeling that ifI decide that we're going to do
this, we're going to move 1500miles away from home, that it's
going to be a permanent decision, that all the stakes are on me
(05:26):
making that decision.
Once I do it, I will feelshameful, I will feel regret,
maybe if I don't like it.
Now, once I got here and oncewe settled in and once I started
seeing things now from thedifferent perspective of having
experience moving away from home, it doesn't feel like it would
(05:46):
be such a big deal to movenumber one, to move somewhere
else, like, oh, we did it, wedid it.
Oh, my gosh, we did it.
Look at me, we did the thing.
Holy shit, look at what we cando.
I have this knowing in my bodynow that I could do it again and
I could do it again and I coulddo it again and I could go home
and not feel shameful about it.
Now I think that shame we'renot going to dig into shame
(06:09):
today.
Shame is a big old tether.
That's a big tether.
But if I had, I don't intend togo back to Wichita, kansas, if
somehow my journey did end uptaking me back there.
If we did end up moving backthere, I would be okay with it.
But before we moved here,before we did the thing, before
(06:30):
we took action and actuallymoved and had the experience of
living in a different place, Ithought how terrible would that
be to go all the way there to doall of this and then end up
right back here.
So here's my message to youabout this tether of feeling
like a decision that we make isabsolutely permanent.
(06:52):
Let yourself experience doingthe thing that you want to do.
Let yourself engage in theactual experience, because
nothing is permanent, nothing,nothing.
You are on a spinning ball ofrock, which is actually energy
that is just moving.
(07:12):
We're living in utter chaos,you guys, actual chaos, and I
don't say that to totally freakyou out, but maybe do the things
that you want to freaking do.
We're here for a blink of aneye.
Let yourself experience,because once you experience,
your perspective is going to betotally different from this
(07:34):
perspective.
Now You're not going to beafraid of the same things that
you were afraid of.
So here's what to do about thattether If you're like I really
want to do it, but I'm afraidthat blank, or I'm afraid that
this is going to happen.
Just do the thing.
Just do it, just freaking.
Let yourself do it, and itdoesn't have to be the full,
(07:58):
huge thing.
Let yourself start applying forjobs.
If you want to move we're goingto use this example of moving
because it's relevant to Maya'sconversation too Start applying
for jobs in other places.
See what it feels like whensomebody gives you a callback
and you interview for a job in adifferent city.
What is the harm?
(08:18):
What is the harm in lettingyourself go through the
interview process for a job inFlorida, letting yourself call a
realtor in Costa Rica, lettingyourself go and tour some
apartments in Kansas City whenyou live in Wichita, three hours
away?
Let yourself engage in abehavior that takes you in a
(08:39):
step toward that nudge that youwere feeling.
It can be the tiniest thing,because that's what happened
with Joey and I when we ended upmoving to the Pacific Northwest
.
We both sat down our very firststep.
I said, okay, each of us make alist of cities in the US that
we would be willing to live in.
Each of us made a list, 25cities, 25 cities that each of
(09:01):
us were willing to live in.
And then we whittled our listseach of us were willing to live
in.
And then we whittled our lists,each of our lists.
We brought them together and wesat down and we had a session
and we said, okay, raleigh,north Carolina I don't remember
if that was on both of our liststhere was a city in North
Carolina.
There was Charleston.
South Carolina, I know was onthe list.
Portland Oregon was obviouslyon the list.
New Orleans was on my list butit absolutely was not on Joey's
(09:25):
and I was very sad about it.
So I was like but we can onlylive there for like a year.
He's like I don't want to livein New Orleans.
So we had that discussion andit brought up so much for us and
it engaged a level ofexcitement that we both didn't.
We hadn't previously letourselves feel so by engaging in
this activity where we both didthis thing.
And then we came together andthen we're like well, okay, joey
(09:46):
sat down and he startedapplying for jobs in our
collective cities that we hadwhittled down to.
He applied at jobs all over thecountry.
He ended up going andinterviewing at one in North
Carolina.
He ended up being offered thatjob, turned it down.
Same day he got this call fromPortland, oregon.
We felt like it was a sign fromthe universe and we ended up
(10:07):
here.
So that's that story.
But really, where it started andthe importance of releasing
this tether is taking a teeny,tiny, aligned action.
And that action is not thinking.
That action is a physical doingof something.
So, whatever it is that youwant to do maybe it's writing a
book that is something that isone of my dreams Sit down and
(10:30):
write the page, write the firstpage.
Sit down and do the thing, dothe thing, take the action,
engage with it.
How does it feel?
Was that fun?
Let yourself feel the fun.
Let yourself feel it.
We will just hold ourselvesback and that's just totally
your nervous system taking careof you and being like it's not
safe to change this familiarhell is wonderful.
(10:51):
Your nervous system thinks thatthat is true and it is not.
Not true, fake news, okay,number two.
So number one was fearing adecision is permanent.
It's not.
Let yourself engage in a tinyaction of change that is going
to start to show you that thisis a fun decision that you
actually really want to make.
Number two fearing what otherpeople might think.
(11:14):
Being afraid of what otherpeople are going to think.
I'm convinced that this is thebiggest tether that is keeping
us because we naturally, ashuman beings, we want belonging,
we want to be part of the tribe, we need to belong.
We needed to belong and westill need it.
Actually, belonging is whatkeeps us healthy and secure and
(11:38):
healthy in our nervous systems.
Finding that sense of belongingwith our community is very,
very important to us.
That's not just something thatwent away as we have evolved
into modern society.
We still have that need.
But when we were in tribes, weneeded belonging to stay safe
from saber-toothed tigers thatcould be around any corner.
(11:59):
We didn't have cities to keepourselves safe, so we needed
belonging.
We don't want to be outcast.
If you're outcast, you couldactually be physically harmed.
And the same is true now.
If you're outcast from yourtribe, from a tribe, if you
don't have connections withother human beings, your nervous
system feels unsafe.
We feel safe in the collective,we feel safe being part of a
(12:25):
group.
It is one of the very firstthings that your nervous system
does If, say, imagine you're outon a hike and you're hiking
along and you hear a scary soundand you think, oh my gosh,
there might be a tiger in thisforest, legitimately.
Sometimes my brain is likethere's a tiger.
There are no tigers justwandering around in Portland
(12:46):
Oregon, but maybe there's amountain lion or something.
The very first thing that yourbody will do, the very first
thing that you do, is to lookfor other people.
If you don't see other people,the next thing that you want to
do, the urge that you will feel,is to call out we seek support,
we seek help.
(13:07):
We need that belonging.
Now, that need for belonging iswhat causes us to care so dang
much about what other peoplethink.
It's your nervous system.
So when we notice ourselves notdoing something that we know is
truly aligned for us, there'ssomething that you want to do
(13:27):
Like.
You just really want to do it.
Take Maya's example.
She really wanted to move backto Peru, but her mom didn't want
her to.
So she's dealing with thissituation of feeling like I
might hurt my mom.
I'm going to potentially bekicked out from the herd.
My mom is going to not love meanymore.
(13:49):
She's going to love me less.
She's going to hate that I'mdoing this.
All of the things I mean.
I felt all the exact same thingsfrom my parents, whether or not
they were actually projectingthat onto me.
I felt like it was true.
I felt like they are going tokick me out of the family,
they're not going to love meanymore.
I felt it with my siblings, Ifelt it with my going to kick me
out of the family.
They're not going to love meanymore.
I felt it with my siblings, Ifelt it with my parents.
So in order for me to move, inorder for Maya to move, for us
(14:11):
to do this, we had to deal withour nervous systems.
We had to remind ourselves thatit is safe to follow our dreams
.
It is safe for me to try.
And let's go back to tethernumber one that we talked about
no decision is permanent.
Nothing is permanent.
(14:32):
I can always go back.
So reminding ourselves thatchange is possible can be
helpful, and doing that whiletending to your nervous system.
So one of the practices that Ilove to do, of course, is
breathwork and reminding myselfvia breathwork.
There's a lot of grounding.
What I would suggest is agrounding technique of some sort
(14:53):
.
You can go into nature andactually combining multiple of
these together is deeplysupportive.
You can go into nature and gofor a walk and let yourself
remember, into nature and go fora walk and let yourself
remember.
This is why I want to do thisand to be curious with yourself.
(15:14):
Why is it that I want to dothis?
What is driving me to want todo this thing?
What is exciting to me aboutthis?
Follow your light, what is thelight that is here for me?
And, as you remember, as you,let your body respond, as your
body says, this sounds reallyfun.
This is just something thatI've always wanted to do.
I've always wanted to write abook and I'm excited and I feel
(15:35):
like I've got a story to tell.
I've got something inside of methat wants to come out.
You can take some deep breaths.
What I recommend is the pulsebreath, which is chew into the
nose and chew out through themouth.
So you breathe in twice in thenose, breathe out twice through
the mouth, while remindingyourself it is safe for me to
(15:57):
want things for me, it is safefor me to do things that are fun
for me, and it is safe for myparents to want me to stay.
It's okay that they want me tostay and it's okay for me to
want to go.
It's okay that I worry that thebook might not be picked up
(16:20):
from a publisher and it's okayfor me to go through the act of
writing the book.
So we do the and whilesimultaneously regulating our
nervous system.
Because what conscious breathdoes for you is it activates
your parasympathetic nervoussystem, it grounds you, it
brings you into the presentmoment, which is where you can
(16:42):
make your best decisions for you, and it's where those tethers
release.
When we come into the presentmoment, there's no tethers.
You're untethered when you'refully in the present moment.
So that is how we release.
Tether number two, fearing whatother people might think.
Tether number three, feelinglike you have to have it all
(17:02):
figured out.
I need to know all of the steps.
I have to know exactly how thisis going to happen.
I need to know the outcome.
I need to know that if I amgoing to quit my job, or if I'm
going to start a side hustle, orif I'm going to do this thing
that I really want to do, thatit is going to be successful.
(17:24):
I need to know that I'm goingto do this thing that I really
want to do, that it is going tobe successful.
I need to know that I'm goingto make $100,000.
I need to know the exact stepsthat are going to get me there.
That's where we get in our headand the truth is that we don't
know.
We don't know the exact stepsthat are going to get us to a
place.
We don't know.
We don't know if we're going tomake $100,000.
We might make $700,000.
(17:45):
We might make $7 million, wemight make $7 billion.
We don't know what the ultimateoutcome is going to be.
But what we do know.
Here's what we do know.
You know that you are beingcalled to do something.
You're being called forward.
You have a nudge, you have acuriosity, you've got a little
(18:07):
something that is inside of youthat is driving you into action.
And the more you keep tellingyourself I've got to have all
the steps figured out, the moreyou're going to trip over your
own feet and you're not going tolet that thing drive you.
It's driving you, you're notdriving it.
This is a self-driving carsituation.
If you keep trying to takecontrol of the wheel, it's going
(18:28):
to get all kinds of wacky.
Let it drive you.
Let your light, your curiosity,your creativity, your fun, your
joy, your magic drive you.
The more we let that happen,it's going to take us exactly
where we need to go.
More.
We let that happen.
It's going to take us exactlywhere we need to go.
(18:49):
Release control of the wheel.
How do we do that?
Your nervous system?
We remind our nervous systemthat it's safe.
It's safe to have fun, it'ssafe to follow my joy, it's safe
to do these things that Ireally want to do.
It's safe for other people tosee me trip over my own feet and
fail.
It's safe for me to let myselffail so that I can find the gift
(19:09):
and the opportunity in thatexperience.
That's how we let go of thosesteps.
When somebody very first said tome you've got to release the
how, I was like what the F areyou even talking about?
But once you let yourself havean experience where you say you
know what, I'm just going tofollow my fun.
I'm going to choose in thismoment to follow my fun and I'm
(19:32):
going to let myself see where itleads.
And I know I'm going to find agift and an opportunity, no
matter where it goes.
Try this with something teenytiny.
With something teeny tiny,don't plan your day.
Have a day where you're likeI'm just not going to plan my
day, I'm literally going tofollow my fun.
I'm going to ask myself everyhour what fun thing do I want to
(19:57):
do, what sounds fun for me,what would be delightful right
now, and watch how that dayunfolds for you.
Imagine that being your entirelife, because likely, here's my
guess is, at the end of the day,you're going to be feeling
really good.
You're going to be feeling sogood, you're going to be feeling
really magical, and you mighthave a conversation with
(20:19):
somebody.
Maybe you go to a coffee shopand you sit down and you are lit
up, and so they're like oh,what's going on in her day?
Everybody else who's come inhere has looked really groggy.
But you're lit up and so youstart to have a conversation
with this person and what youlearn is that they're actually
an ideal client.
And you're like oh, I actuallydo that for a living.
(20:42):
Have you ever thought aboutthis?
And you give them that questionand the next time you go into
the coffee shop, they're like Iwas thinking about that thing
that you said.
What do you do?
You do life coaching.
What is that?
Tell me more.
And then they start followingyou on Instagram and then, two
months from now, they becomeyour client, maybe two days from
now, but it's more likely thatYou're sowing seeds, and we're
(21:02):
sowing seeds with our light, allday, every day, and you are not
watering your seeds when you'rehanging out in shit that you
don't want to do and when you'refeeling like you have to have
it all figured out and you'rejust tripping over your own feet
and you're grabbing the wheel.
It's like that whole phraseJesus, take the wheel.
(21:22):
That's the truth of it.
That's the truth of it.
Get your hands off the wheeland let your fun steer you,
because it knows exactly whereto take you to that brilliant
life.
A brilliant life.
The more we try to control it,the more you're going to get to
the end of your life and be likedamn it.
That's not what I thought waslaid out before me and I don't
(21:45):
want that for you.
So that was tether.
Number three feeling like youhave to have it all figured out.
Number four listening to howothers think that you should
live.
Now, this is similar to tethertwo and fearing what other
people might think, but alsodifferent.
Also different, because here'sthis funny thing about the human
(22:05):
condition is that we think weknow best for other people.
Right, you know it.
If you've got kids, we sometimesthink that we know best.
I think it with my nieces andmy nephews, I think it with my
siblings, I think it with myparents, I think it with my
spouse.
I feel like sometimes, whydon't they just blank and we can
(22:28):
?
Why don't they just blankeverybody to death?
We're all doing this.
Admit it.
You do it to other people too.
So do I.
We all do it, because we do.
We see things in other peopleand we see opportunities and in
our lives we can't always seethe opportunities clearly for
ourselves and other people areseeing them.
(22:49):
But you might not be ready forit yet.
We're often not ready for thething that other people might
see for us.
So that's one side.
There's two sides of the cointhat I like to talk about.
Sometimes we're just not yetready for the thing.
For example, very early on in myexploration of what I wanted to
(23:14):
do with an online business,multiple people said Jen, you
should be coaching people.
You're coaching me right now.
You should be coaching people.
I could not see it for myself.
I couldn't see it.
I wasn't ready.
I needed to have a few moreexperiences.
I needed to get more belief inmyself.
I needed to let myself grow,and then I was ready for it.
(23:36):
So what other people thought Ishould be doing?
If I had tried it at that point, it would maybe have been a
little bit too much.
I might have tried coaching andbeen like that was a fricking
failure, holy banana bread.
Nope, not doing this ever again.
But I instead went on my ownpath and eventually found my way
(23:58):
into coaching, gained theexperience, gained the belief.
I moved along on my path byfollowing my own light and I see
so many beautiful people doingthis all day, every day, and we
can listen to those other peoplefor thoughts, of advice and
like a little bit of steeringfor us.
But we're only going to say yesto things when we are fully
(24:21):
ready, and that's really at thepace that you should be saying
yes to things I don't shouldvery often, but when you are
ready and when it feels fun andexciting to you, not when
somebody else is pushing it onyou, and a great coach knows
this too.
A great coach will let somebodyself-coach.
Great coaches help you toself-coach.
They don't tell you what to doto self-coach.
(24:46):
They don't tell you what to do.
We don't really want anybodytelling us what to do, because
nobody knows but you.
Nobody can feel your dream butyou.
Nobody can feel your joy andyour light but you.
So, even if your mom wants youto stay in your corporate job
because that feels very safe andthat feels like what she was
raised with, and you lovednumbers when you were a kid.
So of course, you're anaccountant.
(25:06):
That's what you're always meantto do.
That's what you're meant to be.
Look at how stable it is, howwonderful it is, but you're
miserable.
Your mom can't.
She can't feel your misery.
She doesn't know.
She can't feel that you knowthat there's something more or
something different for you.
They can't feel it.
They can't feel this desirethat you might have to go and
(25:27):
explore and live an entirelydifferent way.
They can't feel it.
Nobody else can feel yourfeelings but you.
So what other people think thatyou should be doing and how you
should be living is completelyirrelevant to your life's design
, because your life's design isaccording to what you feel, what
(25:52):
you are sensing, the energythat is flowing through you,
your glittery magic that youwere meant to pour out into the
world Ain't nobody going to beable to tell you how to do it.
But you, now you can findmentors and advisors and I
suggest this because they appearin your life and you're
interested in what they aredoing or what they are offering,
because it's your light.
(26:13):
It's your light that has guidedyou to that person, and so you
can listen to them.
But do beware when somebody'stelling you what to do.
Beware at every corner.
When somebody says this is whatyou need to do, beware.
And we all fall into this rightAgain, it's part of the human
(26:33):
condition.
We think that we know betterfor people and I catch myself
falling into that occasionallywith clients too, it's like ooh,
that was a moment of tellingwhen I could have supported them
and self-coaching a little bit.
Now, sometimes there aremoments where you recognize it
would be maybe supportive toshare this with somebody and
they can take it or they canleave it.
But what I'm suggesting for youis that you recognize fully and
(26:58):
completely that your life isgoing to be best lived by
following what feels good to you.
My friend Wendy I can'tremember her exact quote the
other day, but she saidsomething to me like God is not
mean, god does not have a meansense of humor.
The universe is not mean, it isnot sending you on some
(27:21):
terrible path.
Everything that is happening inyour life's path is for design.
It's here to support you, it'shere to support the world, it's
here to support other people.
So continue to follow thatlight.
You can trust it.
There's not a lot else that wecan trust to actually be
constant and true in thislifetime.
(27:42):
Again, we're kind of living inwhat's actual chaos.
If we could see all of thelittle energetic things that are
happening around us all thetime, you are actually energy
that is constantly moving.
Your fingertip is not still,it's not stagnant.
It's made of tiny littlemolecules nothing smaller than
molecules quirks and things thatare all swirling around all the
time and it kind of boggles thebrain right.
(28:02):
Your brain can't see that onpurpose, because if you could
see that, we would all just belike we wouldn't be getting
anything done.
But I point it out because theone thing that is constant is
your light, is your path, is thejourney that you are being led
on.
So let yourself be led.
When you let yourself be led,that tether completely goes away
(28:24):
.
And with all of these fourtethers that we have talked
about today, here's the constant, the thing that is going to
support you the most on youruntethering journey, on your
journey back to your most truest, authentic self, the truest
authentic expression of yourself, the truest, most authentic
life that you live, is learningto become present in the moment.
(28:50):
That's when you can connectwith that light.
We can't connect with our lightsometime in the future or
sometimes in the past.
Now we can do inner child workand we can do higher self future
work yes, of course we canconnect with that.
But the worrying and thefestering and the wondering and
the thinking that I need to knowall of those things there's no
(29:10):
present moment light magic inthose moments.
Those moments are simply thereto guide you back home to your
light, to guide you back homeinto the present and to connect
inward.
So, as we do on every Thursdayepisode, let's take some time to
connect inward and to connectwith the present moment and that
(29:31):
light that is right here insideof you.
If you're able to be seated andclose down your eyes with me,
that's something that I'm goingto invite in this practice today
.
If you're driving, you canlisten in while keeping keen
attention on the road, or youcan come back and listen later.
If you're walking, just softenyour gaze, be aware of your
surroundings.
But you can soften your gazeand do this while walking.
(29:53):
I do walking, breathwork andmeditation all the time and
highly recommend it.
Actually, it is a great way tobe in nature while
simultaneously being mindful.
If you are seated, taking anice big, deep inhale into the
nose, really feeling theexpansion of your belly, letting
(30:18):
that inhale go, letting thatinhale go, taking another inhale
, letting that exhale go, maybewith an audible sigh, letting go
(30:38):
of control of the breath for amoment here, letting your body
breathe itself, noticing therise and the fall of your chest,
the rise and the fall of yourstomach, the temperature of air
(31:12):
as it moves into your nostrils,noticing if there's a
temperature difference in theair as it moves out through your
nostrils, Bringing yourawareness to where your body is
(31:40):
meeting the seat beneath you orwhere each foot is meeting the
ground, seeing if you can noticehow that support that is
beneath your body, that'sbeneath your feet, it's really
supporting you.
Taking an inhale into the nose,filling up the belly once again
(32:05):
and, on your exhale, releasinginto that support and letting
yourself be held, lettingyourself be held, letting
yourself be supported, justcontinuing to let your body
(32:29):
breathe itself, connecting intothe heart space, maybe noticing
any sensations there in theheart space.
Maybe noticing any sensationsthere in the heart space,
noticing if it feels open, if itfeels loose, if it feels like
(32:56):
there's any tightness or tension, no judgment or just noise.
You notice that there's anytension.
Drawing another of those bigbreaths into the heart space,
breathing into the heart,pausing at the top, exhaling
(33:22):
into that support again, onceagain, breathing into the heart,
exhaling into the support.
Seeing if you can bring yourawareness into that heart space
(33:56):
once again, noticing if anythingshifted or changed with those
few breaths.
Connecting to the beat of yourown heart, this muscle that puts
(34:16):
energy in motion through yourbody all day, every day.
This muscle that, throughshifting that energy, is
connected to your inner knowing.
(34:41):
It's connected to the mind andeverything it thinks, connected
to the gut and everything itfeels.
This heart is connected to thehands and everything they create
and the feet.
(35:01):
Everywhere you go, bringingyour awareness into that heart
space and that energy that isbeing created right there in the
center of your core,envisioning a light in that
(35:26):
space, just placing a star rightin the middle, right in the
center of your chest, a star asthough you've plucked it from
the sky and placed it rightthere in the center of your
chest, taking another breath asyou breathe into that light,
(35:47):
into that star, seeing the lightgrow, exhaling, inhaling,
feeling the expansion of thatenergy, exhaling Last inhale,
feeling that energy, that lightfrom the heart space, from that
(36:07):
star, reaching all corners ofyour body, the heads, the hands,
the feet, like a bright,shining star, your full body
filled with light, like a bright, shining star, your full body
filled with light, letting thatinhale go, turning back to your
(36:34):
natural breath, letting yourselfbask in the glow of this light,
of this energy, Maybe askingyourself what is it that I truly
(36:59):
?
live for Allowing this lightyour heart to respond.
What is it that I truly livefor?
That response can come in aword or a phrase, or a feeling
(37:21):
Beautiful, taking one finalinhale, big inhale into the
belly, filling up that belly.
Letting that exhale go with asigh, and then a sigh Admitting
(37:46):
to your heart, to your body, toyour gut, to your mind, that you
will move forward with this,knowing that what you truly live
for is the life that you aremeant to live, and that you will
let yourself be guided by thislight.
Thank you so much for listeningto this episode.
(38:09):
It truly means the world to methat you would listen.
If you gained somethingbeautiful from this episode,
something thoughtful, Iencourage you to share it with a
friend who might need to hearit too.
It with a friend who might needto hear it too.
Maybe there's someone in yourlife who has been struggling to
live the life that they trulywant to live, or to believe in
the possibilities and the dreamsthat are calling on their heart
.
If you'd like to share it withall of your friends, you can
(38:30):
take a screenshot of thisepisode.
Share it on social media.
Tag me.
I'm Untethered, jen.
I will always reshare yourposts when you tag me.
Thanks again so much forlistening.
You just keep shining yourmagical radiant unicorn light
out there for all to see.
See you next time.
Bye.
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