Don't Tell Your Mother

In this episode, I revisit one of the most damaging rules my father ever imposed: Don’t tell your mother. Through letters, reflection, and childhood stories, I unpack how silence became the foundation of control — and how triangulation destroyed trust between my mother, my sister, and me.  I also look deeper into how and why telling a child not to tell their mother works so well, by examining two films  — The Tale (2018) and American Beauty (1999). Both reveal how grooming and justification are often disguised as art, freedom, or love.  It makes me question how we can ever protect children when society keeps rewarding the people who blur the lines between love and control, between admiration and objectification, and between art and abuse. 

⚠️ Content Note:
This episode discusses sensitive themes, including grooming, abuse, and coercive control, and may not be suitable for all listeners. If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 in the U.S. for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

🎵 Music Credit:
Moonlight Sonata by Paul Pitman (used with permission under Creative Commons license).