Keywords
confrontation, conversation, professional relationships, connection, resistance, difficult people, empathy, communication
Summary
In this episode, Dalton Anderson tackles the challenge of dealing with "difficult" people, arguing that confrontation is best resolved by transforming it into a conversation. He explains that people are rarely difficult without a reason, as being difficult costs energy and is uncomfortable. The key, he suggests, is to build a genuine personal connection, which allows you to pull someone aside and understand the true reason for their resistance—be it fear, misinformation, or hidden constraints.
Takeaways
People are rarely difficult for no reason; being confrontational requires energy and effort.
The best way to solve confrontation is to have a conversation.
To have a successful conversation, you must first build a genuine personal connection with the other person.
Genuinely connecting with colleagues allows you to understand their perspective and remove ego from the situation.
It's your job to uncover why someone is being resistant, whether it's fear of change, lack of information, or past experiences.
If you are incorrect, admit it immediately and respectfully; this builds trust.
Before confronting someone, you better be sure you are correct, similar to how HR already knows the answer before asking a question.
There is almost always something blocking the "easy path" (the path of least resistance); find out what it is.
Sound bites
"We label them as difficult, but people are really difficult for no reason."
"Instead of being confrontational, be conversational."
"HR doesn't ask you questions unless they already know the answer, by the way."
"People typically take the path of least resistance."
"Why is there this flag in the ground and they're just standing on it?"
"Pull them aside and say this is the new way, get on board or find a job. That's confrontational."
Chapters
00:00 Introduction: The Problem with "Difficult" People
01:29 Episode 90 Announcement & Podcast Updates
03:55 The Core Thesis: Be Conversational, Not Confrontational
04:15 The Power of a Genuine Personal Connection
06:25 The Importance of Admitting When You're Wrong
08:24 People Aren't Difficult for No Reason
09:20 Uncovering the Root Cause of Resistance
11:15 Building Informal, Effective Professional Relationships
13:20 Why Are They Blocking the Easy Path?
15:47 Example 1: The Unresponsive Stakeholder
17:53 Example 2: The Resistant Salesperson (Fear of Change)
20:15 Example 3: The Nitpicking Client
21:30 Final Summary & Wrap-up
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.