August 7, 2025 • 47 mins
We explore the powerful concept of "blooming where you're planted" and finding growth in seemingly stagnant seasons of life. This episode dives deep into how to thrive during waiting periods while preparing for future opportunities.
• Summer adventures including Vegas, Jersey Shore, and Hawaii travel highlights
• Unpacking what it truly means to "bloom where you're planted"
• The definition includes making the most of current circumstances regardless of challenges
• Shifting perspective from waiting to preparing for your next season
• Personal story of feeling stuck as a young mother with unfulfilled career dreams
• How a mindset shift transformed a frustrating season into one of growth
• Three practical strategies for thriving while waiting: shift from waiting to preparing, move quietly with intention, focus on what's in your control
• Understanding that not every season is about movement – some are for rooting deeply
• Daily practices like mindset shifts and gratitude to help you bloom where you are
What is something you've been waiting on, and what would happen if you started showing up like it was already on its way? Connect with us on Instagram at Virago24_7 or join our Facebook group to share your journey.
Go to my website virago247.net for all things Virago 24/7
You can email me at virago247podcast@gmail.com
Instagram: virago24_7
Facebook: Virago 24/7
Thanks for listening and don't forget to share, share, share!
Everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors!
Music by Deli Rowe: "Space to Move"
Logo by Kaylin Talley
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do you ever feel like you're doing everything right
but nothing's moving, likeyou're stuck in that in-between
space?
You know where your vision isclear but the results are really
quiet?
Today I'm asking this questionwhat if our growth is meant to
(00:21):
happen right where we are?
Like no big moves, no freshstarts, just you, me, us in this
moment, rooted in rising.
You know, this episode isn'tabout being patient.
It's about trusting thatbecoming takes time and that
sometimes the way is part of thework.
(00:42):
You know it's part of thejourney.
If you've been showing up,pouring out and still wondering
when it's your time, this one'sfor you.
So let's talk about whathappens in the weight and why it
might be the most powerful partof us becoming.
Hi, I am your host, leonetteTalley, and you are listening to
(01:07):
Virago 24-7.
Virago is Latin for femalewarrior and 24-7 is for all day,
every day.
Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcastthat brings diverse women
together to talk about life andour experiences in this world.
We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage,
children, friendships and reallyanything that needs to be
(01:28):
talked about.
Here you will find everydaygrowth, everyday healing with
Everyday Warriors.
(01:54):
Hey, everybody, how's it going?
How was everyone's summer.
Mine was really, really good.
I did a lot, and most of Junewas a lot of traveling.
I felt like a superstar, likethis is what celebrities feel
like jet-setting from here tothere, literally every weekend.
I had something, starting withthe very beginning of June, end
of May, beginning of June andanyways, yeah.
(02:18):
So I went to Vegas for the veryfirst time.
That was my very first trip ofthe summer and we went.
It was a group of us, a groupof girls, women from my bootcamp
group, and my very first timewas very pleasant.
I didn't know what to expect.
(02:43):
We're older.
We did, actually we did.
We did uh go with two young,young, uh women, uh, because in
our boot camp group we're a widerange of uh, ages and so there
was a late 20s I forget, Iforget how old they're in early
30s, late 20s, early 30s thatcame with us and we had such a
(03:04):
good time.
It's weird because I know theirfriends always say why do you
hang out?
Why do you all hang out withthose old ladies?
And we're in forties andfifties, so they have to tell
them that we are so much fun andthat we are so great.
Don't let the age fool you.
We are a load of fun.
(03:26):
So that's what they have totell their little friends when
they're asked and questioned whythey hang out with these old
ladies.
But yeah, it was really, reallyhot.
That is one thing about Vegasand we were told that that's not
(03:47):
even the extent of the heat.
That was just getting started.
So it was extremely hot, likeyou're just walking around in a
sauna.
And I am a huge sweater, notlike a sweater that you wear,
but someone who sweats a lot,not like a sweater that you wear
, but someone who sweats a lot.
That is me, and I have sweatpills that are prescribed and so
(04:09):
I took those, but then withthat it soaks up everything,
even your saliva.
So then you get really, reallythirsty.
So you have, like that, cottonmouth and dry mouth, and so,
anyways, do I want to be thirstyor do I want to be sweaty?
There's a trade off there.
But we went to a lot of hotels,and you know the big ones and I
(04:36):
found out that I'm a Bellagiogirl.
Out of all the hotels that wevisited and walked through, the
Bellagio fits my personality andit was fabulous.
We stayed in a hotel called theFountain Blue and it was at the
(04:58):
very, very, very, very end ofthe strip Before we got to Vegas
.
We were at the airport.
We're telling stories and oneof the women that came grew up
in California so she spent many,many times and many years and
many days in Vegas because herparents like to gamble and there
is a hotel there called CircusCircus.
(05:20):
So she would stay there as ayoung child with her parents
Circus Circus.
So she would stay there as ayoung child with her parents and
she knew so much about CircusCircus.
Told us all about Circus Circushow it was like the crappiest
hotel on the strip, that there'sa roller coaster inside, that
it's been there for years andyears and years.
So we're talking about this andwe get to our hotel and we open
(05:43):
our blinds and right across thestreet from our beautiful hotel
, fountain Blue, is CircusCircus and it's just exactly how
she described it.
So that was our first.
Like just huge laugh is out ofall the places, because we
didn't really know what, wherewe were staying, because
actually somebody else hadbooked the hotel who had to back
(06:04):
out last minute for personalreasons.
So they're the ones that bookedthe hotel.
We had no clue where we weregoing.
Our hotel was phenomenally justfancy, just really really fancy
, and, yeah, circus Circus wasright outside our window.
We had great food, we sawCirque du Soleil show and one
(06:28):
night we decided to be young andfree and we wanted to play the
slots.
So I'm not a huge gambler and alot of us weren't really.
You know, some of us could docertain things, but you know we
weren't really there to gamble.
We were just there just to hangout, have good food, see a show
.
And our hotel, as fancy as itwas and as lovely as it was, was
(06:53):
very boring and very bougie andvery just like, wait a minute,
we're not having a good time.
So what do we do?
We decided we're going to goacross the street to Circus
Circus to see what's happeningover there.
So we get there and the way Idescribe it and I'm not talking
mess about this I know there's,you know people have their, the
(07:16):
things that they can afford, youknow, and Circus Circus has,
you know, a special clientele,know, a special clientele.
And you know it smells.
The carpet smells like it'sbeen there for a very, very long
time since it was built and whoknows when that was and just
kind of not flashy like theother hotels and not clean and,
(07:39):
yeah, just very smelly, very,very, very smelly.
There was a certain every hotelhad their own scent, very, very
, very smelly.
There was a certain every hotelhad their own scent.
And we would ask because I'mobsessed with scents and candles
and sprays, because I love ahome to smell good and I like
where I am I even spray stuff inmy car, I just like things to
smell good.
And so every hotel had theirlike signature scent.
(08:02):
We would ask the people thatwork there, hey, what's the
signature scent?
And everything was always soldout, all the candles, so I
didn't get to buy anything.
But the signature scent forCircus Circus was like
cigarettes, like moldy carpet,like that kind of smell.
So we get in there and we hearmusic and we're like, oh my gosh
(08:24):
, are they doing karaoke andthis people?
You know we weren't in bedreally early the other days,
right, but this evening it was,I think, almost midnight.
When we go over to CircusCircus or maybe like yeah, 1130,
almost midnight, and we'rewalking over to Circus Circus
from our hotel and we go acrossthe street, they're playing
(08:45):
music.
We think it's karaoke and it'sa lady, a DJ with her table and
her stuff set up and like threeother people just sitting at a
table, and it was music that welike.
So we just come in there likegangbusters, like all right, and
we just got the party started.
We were the party, we broughtthe party, so we were dancing
(09:10):
and we're singing and everyonewas loving it.
There's people coming out ofthe woodwork.
I don't know the kitchen, thebathrooms.
People were just like who arethese girls, these women dancing
to this lovely music?
It was 90s R&B, hip-hop typestuff, stuff that we were in the
(09:33):
clubs dancing to back in the90s and early 2000s.
So it was really really goodstuff.
So we're dancing pretty much for45 minutes to an hour before
she packs up and thanks us forjust bringing all our energy and
then we decide, all right,we're going to hit the slots.
And we sat at a blackjack tableand watched two of our friends
(10:00):
play.
We did the roulette table and Isaid you know what?
I'm not a gambler, but I tooksome cash out and I said, when
this is done, we're done.
And I took $100 out and I said,when it's over, we're done.
I ended up sitting at theroulette table and had some
(10:20):
really good luck, won some, lostsome and in the end I broke
even.
I walked home with my $100,which was really exciting and we
saw someone get arrested atalmost like what, two in the
morning Because she, I guess,stole the money from another
(10:44):
person.
So there was a little, you know, a little tuffle there and we
had the best time at CircusCircus.
So come to find out mypersonality is what I told them.
I said.
My personality is I like tostay at the fancy places.
I am a Bellagio girl, fountainBlue girl.
But the people that I like tohang out with are the Circus
(11:05):
Circus kind of people like downto earth, just no pretense.
We're just there to have funand have a good time and win
some money and dance to greatmusic.
And so that was Vegas.
It was a lot of fun.
So I'm part Bellagio, partCircus Circus, which is fabulous
(11:26):
.
That means I'm just awell-rounded person.
But yeah, that was Vegas.
The very next weekend I went toNew Jersey to visit one of my
wonderful sisters that I havethat we've been best friends
since high school.
She's one of the first peoplethat we met that our family met
when we moved to Georgia.
(11:47):
So this was back in 1994.
Went to high school together,we went to college together and
we've just remained such greatfriends.
But she's up in Jersey now andfor the past five years she's
had a very hard time having ababy.
So her and her husband wantedto be parents and they did the
(12:09):
most, they did all the thingsand finally they had a beautiful
baby boy.
And so me and my friend Adrian,we both went up there to visit
Tiffany and her sweet baby boyand that was lovely, seeing her
family, seeing him catching upwith.
The three of us stayed near theJersey Shore.
(12:32):
We stayed in a beautiful, cutelittle quaint town that just I
felt like I was in a Hallmarkmovie, except the summertime,
not the wintertime.
It was just so quaint, solovely and loved it.
Stayed in the cutest Airbnbclose to the beach and I loved
(12:55):
the beach so much that I wasable to walk and enjoy the
Jersey Shore and wonderfulrestaurants, the Jersey Shore
and wonderful restaurants,wonderful seafood.
So that was a lovely trip.
That following weekend afterthat it was a staycation here in
this area, in the Atlanta areamy really good friend Tanika had
(13:19):
a women's day and she doesevents at her home all the time.
She'll do a Galentine's andshe'll do Christmas and she'll
do something in the summer andit's always themed and we have
to wear certain colors and thedrinks are just right and the
food is just right andeverything is just beautiful.
(13:39):
So this time she decided to goout of her home and we went to a
hotel nearby where they haveevent spaces, conference spaces,
and I had actually my Viragoevent there two years ago.
So we went to that hotel andthat was lovely.
(14:01):
The theme was pink and orange,so think bright orange and like
bright pink, and so we all hadto wear that or a gold or white,
and it was very, very vibrantand the theme was bloom where
you're planted, and so that was.
(14:22):
It was just one of those daysof I got there Friday, left
Sunday, I helped her set up thenight before we did the event
and then stayed the night andthen I left Sunday morning.
But it was so great just tohave a group of women come
together to laugh and tocommunicate and have awesome
(14:42):
conversations and to do arts andcrafts.
And it yeah, it was.
It was all women driven.
We had someone who was playingthe saxophone and was our DJ,
like our MC was a woman, we madecandles.
They were women.
So it was just really, reallybeautiful and I will get back to
(15:03):
that because the meat of thispodcast will be about that event
.
And then that following weekend, like I said, I was traveling
every single weekend, would comework for a few days and then
leave to go out of town.
The last weekend, or actuallythat following weekend, I went
to Greenville, south Carolina,with my hubby, phillip, and if
(15:26):
you've never been there, it'sthe cutest little town.
I just like it because Phillipand I we're real chill when we
go on vacation.
We need good food, some shopsthat we can look at, some
wineries if there's someanywhere nearby and we're just
chill.
We like good food.
Him and I can have greatconversation and we don't need
(15:48):
to go skydiving, we don't needto jump off bridges and do
bungee jumping, like we don'tneed that excitement.
We just like to be together andtalk and chill and those are
our vibes.
So for some people it mightsound like it's hella boring,
for others, you know they, theythey're probably matching our,
our, um, our vibe.
(16:09):
So we went to Greenville, stayedin a beautiful hotel that we've
been wanting to go to.
We've been to Greenville a fewtimes and every time I see this
hotel I'm like I'm going to staythere.
It's called the the Bohemianand it's just just oh, fancy,
fancy, just beautiful, and it'snear there.
They have like this.
I don't even know what theycall it Is it a waterfall, is it
(16:30):
a river?
What is it?
I don't know, but it's waterand I love listening to water
and being near water.
So our balcony overlooked thisand you can hear it, and it was
just fabulous.
We had great food, we went totwo wineries that were about 30
minutes away from the city andit was great.
Normally, philip and I he takestwo weeks off in the summer and
(16:51):
we'll take a week to ourselves,just the two of us, but it just
didn't work out that way.
So we just did a long weekendand then, a few days later, we
celebrated our daughterCorinne's birthday, and then the
five of us went to Hawaii, andmy brother, my youngest,
(17:13):
youngest brother, anthony, livesin Hawaii and he lives there
with his wife and his twodaughters.
Phillip and I went there twoyears ago and we were able to
meet the oldest daughter, noah,and now we were able to meet the
youngest daughter, harper, andthey're just the cutest little
babies.
(17:33):
Harper was nine months.
She was born in September, soshe's about to be a year old,
and then Noah is two, and wherethey live is just so beautiful
such a small little island, verysecluded, not much to do.
But the kids loved it.
(17:54):
Our youngest, corinne, willnever want to stay anywhere but
a Four Seasons.
We got to stay at the FourSeasons because we get the
family and friends discount,which is huge, and so we get the
benefits of that and stayed ina beautiful hotel room.
It's just a gorgeous, gorgeous,gorgeous place resort.
(18:16):
But, yeah, it was wonderful tohang out with the nieces and for
the cousins to meet each other,and that also was a very chill
vacation lots of beach time,pool time, hanging out with my
brother and his wife and thegirls.
It was lovely.
And then we got back and, yeah,back to work.
(18:38):
School just started this week,so we are getting back to the
routine of things and so it'sbeen a really, really good
summer.
And, yeah, I've been busy.
I've been busy, so that's whyyou haven't been hearing me here
on this microphone.
So, yes, let's go back to um,the women's weekend.
(19:03):
The theme was bloom, whereyou're planted.
So that was Tanika's theme andshe had asked me.
So in the in the morning timewe did arts and craft, we did,
we made candles, we painted, um,we chatted, we ate, and then in
the afternoon we were going tohave just like an open group
(19:26):
conversation.
So Tanika had asked me topretty much host that segment,
that part where I'm just, youknow, making sure that the
conversation is flowing and that, yeah, that we keep the
conversation going.
Fortunately, we had a group ofwomen that were not shy and that
were willing and able to talk,and so I didn't really have to
(19:51):
guide too much, which was great.
But in my preparation for thisevent, I did look into this
topic of bloom where you'replanted and what does that
exactly mean?
I'm sure we've heard it beforebloom where you're planted, but
what does it mean?
So the definition that I sawonline says bloom where you are
(20:17):
planted is a popular saying thatencourages making the most of
your current circumstances, nomatter how challenging they may
seem.
It means to thrive and grow inyour present situation, finding
ways to be productive, contentand find happiness regardless of
external factors.
(20:38):
Sounds beautiful, right whenyou're reading it.
Yeah, it's just bloom whereyou're planted.
That's easy enough.
But have you all ever been in aposition in your life, in a
place in your life, where youfeel like stuck?
And then you read somethinglike this and it's like, oh well
(20:59):
, just bloom where you'replanted, just be grateful, just
love where you are.
And you're like F that youdon't know me, you don't know my
life.
So take that definition andtake your things and all your
optimism and go somewhere withit.
But when I read into that and Istarted looking at what does
(21:23):
that look like?
Bloom what you're planted, whatdoes that mean?
And I think it's reallyimportant for us as women to
understand where we are in life.
And it's not necessarily sayingthat we always have to be
optimistic and we always have tojust love everything we're
doing and raising the kids andworking, and doing the groceries
(21:46):
, and cleaning the house andda-da-da-da and da-da-da-da
those day-to-day things that wehave to do get highly
overwhelming, highly justtedious, and then we're supposed
to do it all with a smile.
So this is not about justalways being happy and always
being just optimistic and justloving every moment and every
(22:09):
day, but realizing that as womenwe have to be aware of why
we're feeling a certain kind ofway, and my thing that I've
learned throughout these yearsand being on this podcast and
talking to different women, isunderstanding why we feel what
(22:30):
we feel, allowing ourselves tofeel whatever feelings we have,
but also not sitting there,because when we sit there, we
affect everyone around us, andour family, especially our
little ones that we're raising,our husbands that we're married
to.
We affect them if we're notaware of ourselves, our feelings
(22:56):
, why we tick, what makes ustick, what we want out of this
life, our words, our actions,our thoughts.
You know it carries a lot ofweight.
We have this ability toinfluence those around us, so
because of this, we need to bethe best versions of ourselves.
We need to live our lives inthis full bloom, wherever we're
(23:21):
planted.
So what does that mean?
Like I said before, bloom whereyou're planted means embracing
your current season, and for alot of us, our current season
can feel like we're just waiting, you know, waiting for our
moment, waiting for the thingthat we dreamed about when we
were little.
(23:41):
Sometimes we wait for thisperfect condition, this perfect
timing or this perfect versionof ourselves in order for us to
bloom.
But what if our growth, yourgrowth is meant to happen right
where we are growth.
Your growth is meant to happenright where we are, not after
the next promotion, not afterthe next move, the next
(24:06):
relationship or this perfecttiming.
What if we just need to lookaround and realize what can I do
with the moment that has beengiven to me?
And one of the things thatcomes to me for me personally
comes to mind is when the kidswere little.
You know, my kids are older, soI feel like I have this
(24:27):
newfound freedom where I get togo to Greenville and not worry
about childcare.
I get to, you know, go to NewJersey and Vegas.
And, yeah, I've been on manygirls trips throughout the years
, but there was always like this, this feeling of me being the
one making sure everything wasright and before I can go on
(24:49):
these trips because that's whatwe do as women is making sure
that everything is just right,so that when we're not around,
everything still functions, andso one of the things that comes
to mind is when my kids werelittle and I've said this before
on this podcast that I alwaysenvisioned myself being this
career woman.
(25:10):
I went to school for journalismand I minored in languages.
I loved learning French and Ispeak Spanish, so I was, you
know, was trying to learn moreabout Spanish, like the grammar,
and I wanted to learn Italian.
That was going to be my nextone.
I spoke German and English andmeeting new people and being
(25:38):
around different cultures anddifferent ethnicities and just
thriving in that arena.
And then I got pregnant at 21,got married at 25, had another
baby at 28, and the third at 30.
And so all of these thingshappened very quickly in my 20s
(25:59):
where, by the time we had ourthird child, I really felt like
I was drowning, like this is notmy life, this is not what I
signed up for.
I know that there were peoplelooking at me saying be grateful
, like this is wonderful, youjust married this wonderful man,
(26:23):
you have these beautifulchildren.
You should just be happy whereyou are.
And intellectually, of course,yes, yes, yes.
But deep down in my spirit, myemotions were like out of whack,
like this is not what I wantedfor myself.
And so I don't know if I'vetold the story before, but I'll
(26:46):
tell it again if I have.
There was one day where I'm homewith the kids.
I'm a stay-at-home mom, I'mjust trying just to survive.
At the time I didn't have thishuge group of friends like I do
now, the friends that I did have.
You know, we went in differentdirections and I started the
(27:07):
whole mother and marriage thingway earlier than they did, and
so we were not on the same pageand we were not living the same
life.
So I was really lonely aroundthat time and so the kids were
just it for me, and Phillip wasworking hard.
We had just opened a newpractice and that consumed his
(27:32):
time, and so there was one day Ijust got literally overwhelmed.
It really felt like someone waschoking me and I couldn't
breathe and I felt like I wasgoing insane and I packed a
little bag and I said you know,I just have to get out of here.
(27:53):
I didn't even tell Philip.
I said, as soon as he comeshome from work, I'm just leaving
.
And I think Corinne, she justturned 15.
She had to be less than one,because I don't remember that
she was even walking at the timeand I remember literally he
comes home, I have her in myarms and I literally hand her
(28:13):
off to him.
Poor guy didn't even put hisstuff down and I'm like I have
to go, I'm leaving.
I don't know where I'm going,but I have to go.
I just can't.
I can't stay here Not oneminute.
I will call you and I'll letyou know where I end up.
And so poor guy didn't even askany questions.
(28:33):
I didn't even give him time toask questions.
I left and I got in my car and Ididn't know where I was driving
.
I just started driving and Ididn't make it that far.
I think I made it.
I started driving north of us,north of Atlanta, and I made it
maybe two hours away I don'tknow it was either like past
(28:53):
Greenville somewhere, I don'tknow, but it was still in
Georgia.
And I remember getting a bottleof wine.
I found a restaurant, got sometakeout, found a hotel, checked
in Gosh.
I think what I really neededwas just quiet, quiet.
And so I sat and I watched TVand I drank my bottle of wine
(29:20):
and I ate food, and then I sleptand I slept and I slept and I
slept and I slept.
And then I woke up the next dayand I was so rested and I felt
so much better, and one of thethings that I grabbed before I
left was my Bible.
If you're new to this show.
(29:41):
I have a very strong faith inGod.
I believe in him, I believe heexists, I believe in Jesus, I
believe in all those things.
And I brought my Bible and I'msitting there the next morning
and I'm just like Lord.
What do I do?
Because this feeling cannotcontinue, because I am not the
(30:01):
best version of myself for mykids, I'm not the best version
of myself for this family and Icannot continue this way because
it's going to rub off on themand it's going to alter how they
see things, because I'm nothappy and it shows I am not.
Listen, I don't know how tofake my emotions.
(30:23):
I try and it doesn't alwayslast.
It doesn't work for me.
So my emotions, you will see it, you will feel it, and it's not
always fun.
But I remember opening my Bible.
I just opened it and the Biblethat I have has different
devotions within the Bible andit will refer to certain
(30:44):
scripture and it has like itsown little um translation of
what that scripture means andhow we can use it in our lives.
So I opened it up and it landedon this devotional that was
literally about being bloomedwhere you're planted.
It didn't say that it wasn'tthe title, but that's pretty
(31:06):
much what they're talking aboutthat God picks us to do certain
things at certain times in ourlives and we just need to be the
best version of ourselves inthat time.
And it's not going to beforever and I'm trying to think
all the messages that I got fromit.
It's not going to be forever.
(31:27):
This is just temporary.
But while you're here, you'vegot to be the best version.
And so I sat there and I criedand I prayed and what came to me
is that I get to be home withmy kids.
And, yes, this is not how Ienvisioned my life and, yes, I
wanted to be this jet settingcareer woman, using my languages
(31:49):
and meeting people and justtraveling and just spreading my
wings.
And I felt like being in thishouse in the suburbs of Atlanta
was not allowing me to spread mywings, but I had to get it
through my mind that this iswhere I was needed and this is
where I am, and so we have tomake the most of this.
(32:11):
So what does that look like?
This is where I am, and so wehave to make the most of this.
So what does that look like?
Being grateful that I get tostay home, because there's many
women that don't get to do that,being grateful that I get to
raise my kids full time and Idon't have to be somewhere nine
to five.
I can take them to the park orwe can have long lunches and at
(32:33):
a pizzeria or wherever.
And I went home.
I thought I was going to staythe whole weekend, but I ended
up going home that day.
I checked out, I came home andI don't even remember if Philip
and I even talked about it.
It was one of those thingswhere I said I'm fine, it's
going to be okay, I'm good now.
(32:54):
I just needed that.
And I'm not saying thateverything was perfect after
that.
But my mindset had to changeand it had to flip that this is
just temporary.
And now these days, yes, theyfeel like they're long days and
they're going on forever.
And this sucks balls because Idid not envision my life for
(33:14):
this.
But now that I'm all theseyears removed from that day and
from that moment damn, does itgo by fast and gosh am I
grateful that I was able tochange and shift that mindset
and bloom where I'm planted.
And then I started doing thingsthat were fun for me, like I
found local modeling.
I always thought I wanted to dosome modeling when I was
(33:36):
younger as well.
So I found some local stuffnothing major, but I would do
some runway stuff for a localboutique and so I was able to
get my creative juices out inthat and I did that for a few
years and it was actuallyfulfilling.
It wasn't anything amazing Iwasn't on covers and magazines
and getting paid all thismodeling money but it was fun
(34:01):
and it got me out of the house.
So I did that and I startedwriting and reading more and
just not allowing myself to staystagnant because I kept telling
myself one day it'll be yourtime.
One day it'll be your time todo whatever you want.
So another thing that I didaround that time was join my
(34:23):
bootcamp group, and I wasn'tfeeling good about myself.
I didn't like the way I lookedafter having the three kids, and
so I joined this group and itjust opened up everything for me
.
All the friendships that I talkabout and these relationships
with these women that I talkabout all the time were formed
from making that decision andthen also plugging into the
(34:46):
church that we're going to.
At the time we started going tothe life groups that were there
, with people that were in thesame boat as us as far as, like
you know, raising children andraising small children, and so I
found amazing friendshipsthrough that and so by running
away for that one day and thencoming back and saying self,
(35:11):
what can I do differently inorder not to feel this way, I
just said yes to those thingsand my whole life just opened up
after that.
And it's funny, as we'retalking right now, I just had
this epiphany that that is thedefinition of blooming where
you're planted.
It's just funny when you'regoing through life and things
(35:35):
happen and you have all thesestories, you don't realize that
that's what that, yeah, thatthat's what it is Like.
I decided to bloom where I wasplanted, yeah, and I didn't even
know that that's what I wasdoing.
So some points to remember whenyou're trying to bloom what
(35:56):
you're planted is to understandthe beauty in your current
challenges, your roles or yourlimitations, and also to reflect
on what this season or thismoment is trying to teach us,
and also to remember that notevery season is about movement.
(36:16):
Some are for rooting deeply.
So some other tools that we cando to bloom now.
To bloom today is daily mindsetshifts, which is harder for
some of us, but if you areintentional about it, can become
(36:40):
a habit.
Because me, as a born pessimist, I've had to learn to do daily
mindset shifts.
So when my mind is starting togo sideways to a place that it
doesn't need to go, Iconsciously have to talk myself
off the ledge.
Gratitude exercises, you know,these are all things that we
(37:03):
know to do.
We just got to do it.
Looking around you while you'redriving or walking, or just
simple things, and finding thatlittle glimmer of the day, so
for me is the sun.
I love when the sun is shiningthrough trees or it's shining in
(37:26):
a way that is just beautiful,like through the clouds, and
anytime I catch those moments,I'm thankful for that.
So just it has to clouds, andanytime I catch those moments,
I'm thankful for that.
So just it has to be littlethings, or grateful for a hug
from my 17 year old son.
The other thing is settingmicro goals in your current
space.
So those are things that we cando to remind us of blooming
(37:54):
where we're planted.
And you know, this is all goingto look different for all of us
.
We're going to shift a littlebit, because for a lot of us you
know, some of us are happywhere we are.
We don't have big ambitions, weare happy just to be where we
(38:15):
are, probably for the rest ofour lives.
You know, and I envy some ofthose people, the people that
are just happy where they are.
I'm not saying that I'm nothappy where I am, but you know,
(38:39):
we're always setting goals andwe're always looking forward.
And for those of us who arefeeling like we're just waiting
because when we are in theseseasons of life, we just feel
like we're waiting, waiting forour time, and as we're waiting,
we're getting frustrated.
And so when I was researchingthis bloom, where we're planted,
a lot of the things that poppedup was the waiting game, the
(39:02):
waiting game, the waiting game.
And what do you do when youknowing in the back of our heads
(39:34):
that this is temporary, thatwhen we get our chance, or when
we feel like nothing's happeningand everyone else is living
their lives because you know welove to compare our lives to
others they're living their bestlives and we're just sitting
here waiting?
What shall we do?
And there are three things thatI found that we can do.
(39:55):
They're very, very, quitesimple.
Oh, that's funny, because ifeverything was as simple, we
would already be doing it right.
So number one is shift fromwaiting to preparing.
So if the opportunity to dowhat it is that you're waiting
(40:20):
on, if it came today, right now,would you be 100% ready?
So let me ask again if theopportunity to do what it is
you're waiting on, so thinkabout what you're waiting on If
(40:52):
it came to refine prep and levelup so that you can be fully
equipped when the moment comes.
So sometimes we think we areready, but we got to be honest
with ourselves Are we really?
Are we really?
I feel like I maybe wasn't readyto go jet-setting and be a
(41:19):
journalist.
I don't know, maybe that's whatI do tell myself in order to
make myself feel better.
But I've learned that with life, that when we think we're ready
, we're really not and God ispreparing us for when the right
time is coming.
(41:40):
So, instead of seeing it as mesitting here waiting, start
preparing.
What can I do to prepare?
Do I have to grow as a person?
Do I have to be emotionallymature?
Do I have to know how tocommunicate?
Do I have to know how to handleconflict better?
Do I need to learn how toforgive?
(42:03):
Do I need to learn how to healfrom the past?
So many different things.
Only you know what that thingis.
Number two do not use waiting asa time for you to pause.
Sometimes God is aligning whatyou can't yet see.
This doesn't mean do nothing.
(42:27):
It means move quietly.
It means move quietly, but withintention.
A lot of powerful moves happenin silence.
I liked that one because it'strue.
What can we do to prepare forthat?
(42:49):
You know, when I wanted to dothe podcast, I didn't announce
it to everybody.
I just started researching, Istarted preparing, I started
figuring out how do I get itstarted, what is the goal behind
this?
And I did a lot of quietpreparing.
(43:09):
But before that, years beforethat, I had to learn how to
communicate.
I had to go through some thingsin order to be able to talk
about it to you all.
I needed some talking points.
Number three focus on what's inyour control.
So you know, we all thinkthings are out of our control,
(43:36):
and there are real things thatare out of our control.
But if you really sit down andthink about it in any situation,
is this something I can control?
And I learned this from myhusband, philip.
Philip, because I am anemotional being and what he has
(44:10):
taught me is anytime I got veryemotional about whatever a spat
with a sibling or a parent oryou know whatever big feelings I
was having His question alwaysto me was can you control this?
What can you do differently?
And that really startedshifting my mindset as to what
can I do to change this.
And if I can't, I have to letit go.
I just have to let it go.
So number three is focus onwhat's in your control.
So list action steps that youcan take today that will push
(44:34):
your overall vision forward.
And we have to remember thateven the small wins are powerful
and small wins are fuel andsmall wins are something to
celebrate.
You're just waiting.
(44:55):
We can do this simultaneously.
We can bloom when we're plantedand be our best selves and grow
in the way that we're supposedto grow.
So when that opportunity comesof whatever it is that you've
been waiting for, that, when itfalls in your lap, that you're
ready to move forward with it.
So those are three things totake away from quote, unquote
the waiting game.
So let's not see that as anegative.
(45:15):
Let's see that as a positive.
So what is something you've beenwaiting on, and what would
happen if you started showing up, like it was already on its way
?
What will you do differently?
What will you start doing?
What would you stop doing?
(45:36):
You know, I would really loveto hear your journey and those
who are currently in the waitinggame.
I would really love to hearyour journey.
You know, I know there's someof us that are still in that
waiting game.
What does that look like andhow are you feeling?
And for those of us who havebeen in that waiting game and
come out of the other side, whatdoes that look like?
You know you can share andinspire me and inspire others to
(46:01):
keep going.
So at Virago247, that's myInstagram handle or Facebook I
have a Facebook group calledVirago247.
A Facebook group called Virago24-7.
So, as always, I thank you all.
So, so, so much for being heretoday.
Glad to be back.
Hope all of you had a fabuloussummer and we will be talking
(46:28):
soon, but before we go, I wantto leave you all with this Bloom
where you are.
Bloom despite the weeds andgrow tall and beautiful anyways.
Bloom where you are, even ifyou wish you were elsewhere.
Take in all the light when thesun is shining, and know that
(46:54):
the rain is necessary when it'snot.
Know that everything you needto bloom is right inside of you.
You already have the strengthand capability to grow.
Nourish your body and take careof your mind.
Keep learning and growing.
Let your true colors shine.
Thank you so much for listeningto Virago 24-7.
(47:26):
Let your true colors shine.
24 underscore seven.
And on Facebook, at Virago 24slash seven and just connect
with us and share your story.
We'd love to hear from you.
Do you ever feel like you're doing everything right
but nothing's moving, likeyou're stuck in that in-between
space?
You know where your vision isclear but the results are really
quiet?
Today I'm asking this questionwhat if our growth is meant to
(00:21):
happen right where we are?
Like no big moves, no freshstarts, just you, me, us in this
moment, rooted in rising.
You know, this episode isn'tabout being patient.
It's about trusting thatbecoming takes time and that
sometimes the way is part of thework.
(00:42):
You know it's part of thejourney.
If you've been showing up,pouring out and still wondering
when it's your time, this one'sfor you.
So let's talk about whathappens in the weight and why it
might be the most powerful partof us becoming.
Hi, I am your host, leonetteTalley, and you are listening to
(01:07):
Virago 24-7.
Virago is Latin for femalewarrior and 24-7 is for all day,
every day.
Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcastthat brings diverse women
together to talk about life andour experiences in this world.
We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage,
children, friendships and reallyanything that needs to be
(01:28):
talked about.
Here you will find everydaygrowth, everyday healing with
Everyday Warriors.
(01:54):
Hey, everybody, how's it going?
How was everyone's summer.
Mine was really, really good.
I did a lot, and most of Junewas a lot of traveling.
I felt like a superstar, likethis is what celebrities feel
like jet-setting from here tothere, literally every weekend.
I had something, starting withthe very beginning of June, end
of May, beginning of June andanyways, yeah.
(02:18):
So I went to Vegas for the veryfirst time.
That was my very first trip ofthe summer and we went.
It was a group of us, a groupof girls, women from my bootcamp
group, and my very first timewas very pleasant.
I didn't know what to expect.
(02:43):
We're older.
We did, actually we did.
We did uh go with two young,young, uh women, uh, because in
our boot camp group we're a widerange of uh, ages and so there
was a late 20s I forget, Iforget how old they're in early
30s, late 20s, early 30s thatcame with us and we had such a
(03:04):
good time.
It's weird because I know theirfriends always say why do you
hang out?
Why do you all hang out withthose old ladies?
And we're in forties andfifties, so they have to tell
them that we are so much fun andthat we are so great.
Don't let the age fool you.
We are a load of fun.
(03:26):
So that's what they have totell their little friends when
they're asked and questioned whythey hang out with these old
ladies.
But yeah, it was really, reallyhot.
That is one thing about Vegasand we were told that that's not
(03:47):
even the extent of the heat.
That was just getting started.
So it was extremely hot, likeyou're just walking around in a
sauna.
And I am a huge sweater, notlike a sweater that you wear,
but someone who sweats a lot,not like a sweater that you wear
, but someone who sweats a lot.
That is me, and I have sweatpills that are prescribed and so
(04:09):
I took those, but then withthat it soaks up everything,
even your saliva.
So then you get really, reallythirsty.
So you have, like that, cottonmouth and dry mouth, and so,
anyways, do I want to be thirstyor do I want to be sweaty?
There's a trade off there.
But we went to a lot of hotels,and you know the big ones and I
(04:36):
found out that I'm a Bellagiogirl.
Out of all the hotels that wevisited and walked through, the
Bellagio fits my personality andit was fabulous.
We stayed in a hotel called theFountain Blue and it was at the
(04:58):
very, very, very, very end ofthe strip Before we got to Vegas
.
We were at the airport.
We're telling stories and oneof the women that came grew up
in California so she spent many,many times and many years and
many days in Vegas because herparents like to gamble and there
is a hotel there called CircusCircus.
(05:20):
So she would stay there as ayoung child with her parents
Circus Circus.
So she would stay there as ayoung child with her parents and
she knew so much about CircusCircus.
Told us all about Circus Circushow it was like the crappiest
hotel on the strip, that there'sa roller coaster inside, that
it's been there for years andyears and years.
So we're talking about this andwe get to our hotel and we open
(05:43):
our blinds and right across thestreet from our beautiful hotel
, fountain Blue, is CircusCircus and it's just exactly how
she described it.
So that was our first.
Like just huge laugh is out ofall the places, because we
didn't really know what, wherewe were staying, because
actually somebody else hadbooked the hotel who had to back
(06:04):
out last minute for personalreasons.
So they're the ones that bookedthe hotel.
We had no clue where we weregoing.
Our hotel was phenomenally justfancy, just really really fancy
, and, yeah, circus Circus wasright outside our window.
We had great food, we sawCirque du Soleil show and one
(06:28):
night we decided to be young andfree and we wanted to play the
slots.
So I'm not a huge gambler and alot of us weren't really.
You know, some of us could docertain things, but you know we
weren't really there to gamble.
We were just there just to hangout, have good food, see a show
.
And our hotel, as fancy as itwas and as lovely as it was, was
(06:53):
very boring and very bougie andvery just like, wait a minute,
we're not having a good time.
So what do we do?
We decided we're going to goacross the street to Circus
Circus to see what's happeningover there.
So we get there and the way Idescribe it and I'm not talking
mess about this I know there's,you know people have their, the
(07:16):
things that they can afford, youknow, and Circus Circus has,
you know, a special clientele,know, a special clientele.
And you know it smells.
The carpet smells like it'sbeen there for a very, very long
time since it was built and whoknows when that was and just
kind of not flashy like theother hotels and not clean and,
(07:39):
yeah, just very smelly, very,very, very smelly.
There was a certain every hotelhad their own scent, very, very
, very smelly.
There was a certain every hotelhad their own scent.
And we would ask because I'mobsessed with scents and candles
and sprays, because I love ahome to smell good and I like
where I am I even spray stuff inmy car, I just like things to
smell good.
And so every hotel had theirlike signature scent.
(08:02):
We would ask the people thatwork there, hey, what's the
signature scent?
And everything was always soldout, all the candles, so I
didn't get to buy anything.
But the signature scent forCircus Circus was like
cigarettes, like moldy carpet,like that kind of smell.
So we get in there and we hearmusic and we're like, oh my gosh
(08:24):
, are they doing karaoke andthis people?
You know we weren't in bedreally early the other days,
right, but this evening it was,I think, almost midnight.
When we go over to CircusCircus or maybe like yeah, 1130,
almost midnight, and we'rewalking over to Circus Circus
from our hotel and we go acrossthe street, they're playing
(08:45):
music.
We think it's karaoke and it'sa lady, a DJ with her table and
her stuff set up and like threeother people just sitting at a
table, and it was music that welike.
So we just come in there likegangbusters, like all right, and
we just got the party started.
We were the party, we broughtthe party, so we were dancing
(09:10):
and we're singing and everyonewas loving it.
There's people coming out ofthe woodwork.
I don't know the kitchen, thebathrooms.
People were just like who arethese girls, these women dancing
to this lovely music?
It was 90s R&B, hip-hop typestuff, stuff that we were in the
(09:33):
clubs dancing to back in the90s and early 2000s.
So it was really really goodstuff.
So we're dancing pretty much for45 minutes to an hour before
she packs up and thanks us forjust bringing all our energy and
then we decide, all right,we're going to hit the slots.
And we sat at a blackjack tableand watched two of our friends
(10:00):
play.
We did the roulette table and Isaid you know what?
I'm not a gambler, but I tooksome cash out and I said, when
this is done, we're done.
And I took $100 out and I said,when it's over, we're done.
I ended up sitting at theroulette table and had some
(10:20):
really good luck, won some, lostsome and in the end I broke
even.
I walked home with my $100,which was really exciting and we
saw someone get arrested atalmost like what, two in the
morning Because she, I guess,stole the money from another
(10:44):
person.
So there was a little, you know, a little tuffle there and we
had the best time at CircusCircus.
So come to find out mypersonality is what I told them.
I said.
My personality is I like tostay at the fancy places.
I am a Bellagio girl, fountainBlue girl.
But the people that I like tohang out with are the Circus
(11:05):
Circus kind of people like downto earth, just no pretense.
We're just there to have funand have a good time and win
some money and dance to greatmusic.
And so that was Vegas.
It was a lot of fun.
So I'm part Bellagio, partCircus Circus, which is fabulous
(11:26):
.
That means I'm just awell-rounded person.
But yeah, that was Vegas.
The very next weekend I went toNew Jersey to visit one of my
wonderful sisters that I havethat we've been best friends
since high school.
She's one of the first peoplethat we met that our family met
when we moved to Georgia.
(11:47):
So this was back in 1994.
Went to high school together,we went to college together and
we've just remained such greatfriends.
But she's up in Jersey now andfor the past five years she's
had a very hard time having ababy.
So her and her husband wantedto be parents and they did the
(12:09):
most, they did all the thingsand finally they had a beautiful
baby boy.
And so me and my friend Adrian,we both went up there to visit
Tiffany and her sweet baby boyand that was lovely, seeing her
family, seeing him catching upwith.
The three of us stayed near theJersey Shore.
(12:32):
We stayed in a beautiful, cutelittle quaint town that just I
felt like I was in a Hallmarkmovie, except the summertime,
not the wintertime.
It was just so quaint, solovely and loved it.
Stayed in the cutest Airbnbclose to the beach and I loved
(12:55):
the beach so much that I wasable to walk and enjoy the
Jersey Shore and wonderfulrestaurants, the Jersey Shore
and wonderful restaurants,wonderful seafood.
So that was a lovely trip.
That following weekend afterthat it was a staycation here in
this area, in the Atlanta areamy really good friend Tanika had
(13:19):
a women's day and she doesevents at her home all the time.
She'll do a Galentine's andshe'll do Christmas and she'll
do something in the summer andit's always themed and we have
to wear certain colors and thedrinks are just right and the
food is just right andeverything is just beautiful.
(13:39):
So this time she decided to goout of her home and we went to a
hotel nearby where they haveevent spaces, conference spaces,
and I had actually my Viragoevent there two years ago.
So we went to that hotel andthat was lovely.
(14:01):
The theme was pink and orange,so think bright orange and like
bright pink, and so we all hadto wear that or a gold or white,
and it was very, very vibrantand the theme was bloom where
you're planted, and so that was.
(14:22):
It was just one of those daysof I got there Friday, left
Sunday, I helped her set up thenight before we did the event
and then stayed the night andthen I left Sunday morning.
But it was so great just tohave a group of women come
together to laugh and tocommunicate and have awesome
(14:42):
conversations and to do arts andcrafts.
And it yeah, it was.
It was all women driven.
We had someone who was playingthe saxophone and was our DJ,
like our MC was a woman, we madecandles.
They were women.
So it was just really, reallybeautiful and I will get back to
(15:03):
that because the meat of thispodcast will be about that event
.
And then that following weekend, like I said, I was traveling
every single weekend, would comework for a few days and then
leave to go out of town.
The last weekend, or actuallythat following weekend, I went
to Greenville, south Carolina,with my hubby, phillip, and if
(15:26):
you've never been there, it'sthe cutest little town.
I just like it because Phillipand I we're real chill when we
go on vacation.
We need good food, some shopsthat we can look at, some
wineries if there's someanywhere nearby and we're just
chill.
We like good food.
Him and I can have greatconversation and we don't need
(15:48):
to go skydiving, we don't needto jump off bridges and do
bungee jumping, like we don'tneed that excitement.
We just like to be together andtalk and chill and those are
our vibes.
So for some people it mightsound like it's hella boring,
for others, you know they, theythey're probably matching our,
our, um, our vibe.
(16:09):
So we went to Greenville, stayedin a beautiful hotel that we've
been wanting to go to.
We've been to Greenville a fewtimes and every time I see this
hotel I'm like I'm going to staythere.
It's called the the Bohemianand it's just just oh, fancy,
fancy, just beautiful, and it'snear there.
They have like this.
I don't even know what theycall it Is it a waterfall, is it
(16:30):
a river?
What is it?
I don't know, but it's waterand I love listening to water
and being near water.
So our balcony overlooked thisand you can hear it, and it was
just fabulous.
We had great food, we went totwo wineries that were about 30
minutes away from the city andit was great.
Normally, philip and I he takestwo weeks off in the summer and
(16:51):
we'll take a week to ourselves,just the two of us, but it just
didn't work out that way.
So we just did a long weekendand then, a few days later, we
celebrated our daughterCorinne's birthday, and then the
five of us went to Hawaii, andmy brother, my youngest,
(17:13):
youngest brother, anthony, livesin Hawaii and he lives there
with his wife and his twodaughters.
Phillip and I went there twoyears ago and we were able to
meet the oldest daughter, noah,and now we were able to meet the
youngest daughter, harper, andthey're just the cutest little
babies.
(17:33):
Harper was nine months.
She was born in September, soshe's about to be a year old,
and then Noah is two, and wherethey live is just so beautiful
such a small little island, verysecluded, not much to do.
But the kids loved it.
(17:54):
Our youngest, corinne, willnever want to stay anywhere but
a Four Seasons.
We got to stay at the FourSeasons because we get the
family and friends discount,which is huge, and so we get the
benefits of that and stayed ina beautiful hotel room.
It's just a gorgeous, gorgeous,gorgeous place resort.
(18:16):
But, yeah, it was wonderful tohang out with the nieces and for
the cousins to meet each other,and that also was a very chill
vacation lots of beach time,pool time, hanging out with my
brother and his wife and thegirls.
It was lovely.
And then we got back and, yeah,back to work.
(18:38):
School just started this week,so we are getting back to the
routine of things and so it'sbeen a really, really good
summer.
And, yeah, I've been busy.
I've been busy, so that's whyyou haven't been hearing me here
on this microphone.
So, yes, let's go back to um,the women's weekend.
(19:03):
The theme was bloom, whereyou're planted.
So that was Tanika's theme andshe had asked me.
So in the in the morning timewe did arts and craft, we did,
we made candles, we painted, um,we chatted, we ate, and then in
the afternoon we were going tohave just like an open group
(19:26):
conversation.
So Tanika had asked me topretty much host that segment,
that part where I'm just, youknow, making sure that the
conversation is flowing and that, yeah, that we keep the
conversation going.
Fortunately, we had a group ofwomen that were not shy and that
were willing and able to talk,and so I didn't really have to
(19:51):
guide too much, which was great.
But in my preparation for thisevent, I did look into this
topic of bloom where you'replanted and what does that
exactly mean?
I'm sure we've heard it beforebloom where you're planted, but
what does it mean?
So the definition that I sawonline says bloom where you are
(20:17):
planted is a popular saying thatencourages making the most of
your current circumstances, nomatter how challenging they may
seem.
It means to thrive and grow inyour present situation, finding
ways to be productive, contentand find happiness regardless of
external factors.
(20:38):
Sounds beautiful, right whenyou're reading it.
Yeah, it's just bloom whereyou're planted.
That's easy enough.
But have you all ever been in aposition in your life, in a
place in your life, where youfeel like stuck?
And then you read somethinglike this and it's like, oh well
(20:59):
, just bloom where you'replanted, just be grateful, just
love where you are.
And you're like F that youdon't know me, you don't know my
life.
So take that definition andtake your things and all your
optimism and go somewhere withit.
But when I read into that and Istarted looking at what does
(21:23):
that look like?
Bloom what you're planted, whatdoes that mean?
And I think it's reallyimportant for us as women to
understand where we are in life.
And it's not necessarily sayingthat we always have to be
optimistic and we always have tojust love everything we're
doing and raising the kids andworking, and doing the groceries
(21:46):
, and cleaning the house andda-da-da-da and da-da-da-da
those day-to-day things that wehave to do get highly
overwhelming, highly justtedious, and then we're supposed
to do it all with a smile.
So this is not about justalways being happy and always
being just optimistic and justloving every moment and every
(22:09):
day, but realizing that as womenwe have to be aware of why
we're feeling a certain kind ofway, and my thing that I've
learned throughout these yearsand being on this podcast and
talking to different women, isunderstanding why we feel what
(22:30):
we feel, allowing ourselves tofeel whatever feelings we have,
but also not sitting there,because when we sit there, we
affect everyone around us, andour family, especially our
little ones that we're raising,our husbands that we're married
to.
We affect them if we're notaware of ourselves, our feelings
(22:56):
, why we tick, what makes ustick, what we want out of this
life, our words, our actions,our thoughts.
You know it carries a lot ofweight.
We have this ability toinfluence those around us, so
because of this, we need to bethe best versions of ourselves.
We need to live our lives inthis full bloom, wherever we're
(23:21):
planted.
So what does that mean?
Like I said before, bloom whereyou're planted means embracing
your current season, and for alot of us, our current season
can feel like we're just waiting, you know, waiting for our
moment, waiting for the thingthat we dreamed about when we
were little.
(23:41):
Sometimes we wait for thisperfect condition, this perfect
timing or this perfect versionof ourselves in order for us to
bloom.
But what if our growth, yourgrowth is meant to happen right
where we are growth.
Your growth is meant to happenright where we are, not after
the next promotion, not afterthe next move, the next
(24:06):
relationship or this perfecttiming.
What if we just need to lookaround and realize what can I do
with the moment that has beengiven to me?
And one of the things thatcomes to me for me personally
comes to mind is when the kidswere little.
You know, my kids are older, soI feel like I have this
(24:27):
newfound freedom where I get togo to Greenville and not worry
about childcare.
I get to, you know, go to NewJersey and Vegas.
And, yeah, I've been on manygirls trips throughout the years
, but there was always like this, this feeling of me being the
one making sure everything wasright and before I can go on
(24:49):
these trips because that's whatwe do as women is making sure
that everything is just right,so that when we're not around,
everything still functions, andso one of the things that comes
to mind is when my kids werelittle and I've said this before
on this podcast that I alwaysenvisioned myself being this
career woman.
(25:10):
I went to school for journalismand I minored in languages.
I loved learning French and Ispeak Spanish, so I was, you
know, was trying to learn moreabout Spanish, like the grammar,
and I wanted to learn Italian.
That was going to be my nextone.
I spoke German and English andmeeting new people and being
(25:38):
around different cultures anddifferent ethnicities and just
thriving in that arena.
And then I got pregnant at 21,got married at 25, had another
baby at 28, and the third at 30.
And so all of these thingshappened very quickly in my 20s
(25:59):
where, by the time we had ourthird child, I really felt like
I was drowning, like this is notmy life, this is not what I
signed up for.
I know that there were peoplelooking at me saying be grateful
, like this is wonderful, youjust married this wonderful man,
(26:23):
you have these beautifulchildren.
You should just be happy whereyou are.
And intellectually, of course,yes, yes, yes.
But deep down in my spirit, myemotions were like out of whack,
like this is not what I wantedfor myself.
And so I don't know if I'vetold the story before, but I'll
(26:46):
tell it again if I have.
There was one day where I'm homewith the kids.
I'm a stay-at-home mom, I'mjust trying just to survive.
At the time I didn't have thishuge group of friends like I do
now, the friends that I did have.
You know, we went in differentdirections and I started the
(27:07):
whole mother and marriage thingway earlier than they did, and
so we were not on the same pageand we were not living the same
life.
So I was really lonely aroundthat time and so the kids were
just it for me, and Phillip wasworking hard.
We had just opened a newpractice and that consumed his
(27:32):
time, and so there was one day Ijust got literally overwhelmed.
It really felt like someone waschoking me and I couldn't
breathe and I felt like I wasgoing insane and I packed a
little bag and I said you know,I just have to get out of here.
(27:53):
I didn't even tell Philip.
I said, as soon as he comeshome from work, I'm just leaving
.
And I think Corinne, she justturned 15.
She had to be less than one,because I don't remember that
she was even walking at the timeand I remember literally he
comes home, I have her in myarms and I literally hand her
(28:13):
off to him.
Poor guy didn't even put hisstuff down and I'm like I have
to go, I'm leaving.
I don't know where I'm going,but I have to go.
I just can't.
I can't stay here Not oneminute.
I will call you and I'll letyou know where I end up.
And so poor guy didn't even askany questions.
(28:33):
I didn't even give him time toask questions.
I left and I got in my car and Ididn't know where I was driving
.
I just started driving and Ididn't make it that far.
I think I made it.
I started driving north of us,north of Atlanta, and I made it
maybe two hours away I don'tknow it was either like past
(28:53):
Greenville somewhere, I don'tknow, but it was still in
Georgia.
And I remember getting a bottleof wine.
I found a restaurant, got sometakeout, found a hotel, checked
in Gosh.
I think what I really neededwas just quiet, quiet.
And so I sat and I watched TVand I drank my bottle of wine
(29:20):
and I ate food, and then I sleptand I slept and I slept and I
slept and I slept.
And then I woke up the next dayand I was so rested and I felt
so much better, and one of thethings that I grabbed before I
left was my Bible.
If you're new to this show.
(29:41):
I have a very strong faith inGod.
I believe in him, I believe heexists, I believe in Jesus, I
believe in all those things.
And I brought my Bible and I'msitting there the next morning
and I'm just like Lord.
What do I do?
Because this feeling cannotcontinue, because I am not the
(30:01):
best version of myself for mykids, I'm not the best version
of myself for this family and Icannot continue this way because
it's going to rub off on themand it's going to alter how they
see things, because I'm nothappy and it shows I am not.
Listen, I don't know how tofake my emotions.
(30:23):
I try and it doesn't alwayslast.
It doesn't work for me.
So my emotions, you will see it, you will feel it, and it's not
always fun.
But I remember opening my Bible.
I just opened it and the Biblethat I have has different
devotions within the Bible andit will refer to certain
(30:44):
scripture and it has like itsown little um translation of
what that scripture means andhow we can use it in our lives.
So I opened it up and it landedon this devotional that was
literally about being bloomedwhere you're planted.
It didn't say that it wasn'tthe title, but that's pretty
(31:06):
much what they're talking aboutthat God picks us to do certain
things at certain times in ourlives and we just need to be the
best version of ourselves inthat time.
And it's not going to beforever and I'm trying to think
all the messages that I got fromit.
It's not going to be forever.
(31:27):
This is just temporary.
But while you're here, you'vegot to be the best version.
And so I sat there and I criedand I prayed and what came to me
is that I get to be home withmy kids.
And, yes, this is not how Ienvisioned my life and, yes, I
wanted to be this jet settingcareer woman, using my languages
(31:49):
and meeting people and justtraveling and just spreading my
wings.
And I felt like being in thishouse in the suburbs of Atlanta
was not allowing me to spread mywings, but I had to get it
through my mind that this iswhere I was needed and this is
where I am, and so we have tomake the most of this.
(32:11):
So what does that look like?
This is where I am, and so wehave to make the most of this.
So what does that look like?
Being grateful that I get tostay home, because there's many
women that don't get to do that,being grateful that I get to
raise my kids full time and Idon't have to be somewhere nine
to five.
I can take them to the park orwe can have long lunches and at
(32:33):
a pizzeria or wherever.
And I went home.
I thought I was going to staythe whole weekend, but I ended
up going home that day.
I checked out, I came home andI don't even remember if Philip
and I even talked about it.
It was one of those thingswhere I said I'm fine, it's
going to be okay, I'm good now.
(32:54):
I just needed that.
And I'm not saying thateverything was perfect after
that.
But my mindset had to changeand it had to flip that this is
just temporary.
And now these days, yes, theyfeel like they're long days and
they're going on forever.
And this sucks balls because Idid not envision my life for
(33:14):
this.
But now that I'm all theseyears removed from that day and
from that moment damn, does itgo by fast and gosh am I
grateful that I was able tochange and shift that mindset
and bloom where I'm planted.
And then I started doing thingsthat were fun for me, like I
found local modeling.
I always thought I wanted to dosome modeling when I was
(33:36):
younger as well.
So I found some local stuffnothing major, but I would do
some runway stuff for a localboutique and so I was able to
get my creative juices out inthat and I did that for a few
years and it was actuallyfulfilling.
It wasn't anything amazing Iwasn't on covers and magazines
and getting paid all thismodeling money but it was fun
(34:01):
and it got me out of the house.
So I did that and I startedwriting and reading more and
just not allowing myself to staystagnant because I kept telling
myself one day it'll be yourtime.
One day it'll be your time todo whatever you want.
So another thing that I didaround that time was join my
(34:23):
bootcamp group, and I wasn'tfeeling good about myself.
I didn't like the way I lookedafter having the three kids, and
so I joined this group and itjust opened up everything for me
.
All the friendships that I talkabout and these relationships
with these women that I talkabout all the time were formed
from making that decision andthen also plugging into the
(34:46):
church that we're going to.
At the time we started going tothe life groups that were there
, with people that were in thesame boat as us as far as, like
you know, raising children andraising small children, and so I
found amazing friendshipsthrough that and so by running
away for that one day and thencoming back and saying self,
(35:11):
what can I do differently inorder not to feel this way, I
just said yes to those thingsand my whole life just opened up
after that.
And it's funny, as we'retalking right now, I just had
this epiphany that that is thedefinition of blooming where
you're planted.
It's just funny when you'regoing through life and things
(35:35):
happen and you have all thesestories, you don't realize that
that's what that, yeah, thatthat's what it is Like.
I decided to bloom where I wasplanted, yeah, and I didn't even
know that that's what I wasdoing.
So some points to remember whenyou're trying to bloom what
(35:56):
you're planted is to understandthe beauty in your current
challenges, your roles or yourlimitations, and also to reflect
on what this season or thismoment is trying to teach us,
and also to remember that notevery season is about movement.
(36:16):
Some are for rooting deeply.
So some other tools that we cando to bloom now.
To bloom today is daily mindsetshifts, which is harder for
some of us, but if you areintentional about it, can become
(36:40):
a habit.
Because me, as a born pessimist, I've had to learn to do daily
mindset shifts.
So when my mind is starting togo sideways to a place that it
doesn't need to go, Iconsciously have to talk myself
off the ledge.
Gratitude exercises, you know,these are all things that we
(37:03):
know to do.
We just got to do it.
Looking around you while you'redriving or walking, or just
simple things, and finding thatlittle glimmer of the day, so
for me is the sun.
I love when the sun is shiningthrough trees or it's shining in
(37:26):
a way that is just beautiful,like through the clouds, and
anytime I catch those moments,I'm thankful for that.
So just it has to clouds, andanytime I catch those moments,
I'm thankful for that.
So just it has to be littlethings, or grateful for a hug
from my 17 year old son.
The other thing is settingmicro goals in your current
space.
So those are things that we cando to remind us of blooming
(37:54):
where we're planted.
And you know, this is all goingto look different for all of us
.
We're going to shift a littlebit, because for a lot of us you
know, some of us are happywhere we are.
We don't have big ambitions, weare happy just to be where we
(38:15):
are, probably for the rest ofour lives.
You know, and I envy some ofthose people, the people that
are just happy where they are.
I'm not saying that I'm nothappy where I am, but you know,
(38:39):
we're always setting goals andwe're always looking forward.
And for those of us who arefeeling like we're just waiting
because when we are in theseseasons of life, we just feel
like we're waiting, waiting forour time, and as we're waiting,
we're getting frustrated.
And so when I was researchingthis bloom, where we're planted,
a lot of the things that poppedup was the waiting game, the
(39:02):
waiting game, the waiting game.
And what do you do when youknowing in the back of our heads
(39:34):
that this is temporary, thatwhen we get our chance, or when
we feel like nothing's happeningand everyone else is living
their lives because you know welove to compare our lives to
others they're living their bestlives and we're just sitting
here waiting?
What shall we do?
And there are three things thatI found that we can do.
(39:55):
They're very, very, quitesimple.
Oh, that's funny, because ifeverything was as simple, we
would already be doing it right.
So number one is shift fromwaiting to preparing.
So if the opportunity to dowhat it is that you're waiting
(40:20):
on, if it came today, right now,would you be 100% ready?
So let me ask again if theopportunity to do what it is
you're waiting on, so thinkabout what you're waiting on If
(40:52):
it came to refine prep and levelup so that you can be fully
equipped when the moment comes.
So sometimes we think we areready, but we got to be honest
with ourselves Are we really?
Are we really?
I feel like I maybe wasn't readyto go jet-setting and be a
(41:19):
journalist.
I don't know, maybe that's whatI do tell myself in order to
make myself feel better.
But I've learned that with life, that when we think we're ready
, we're really not and God ispreparing us for when the right
time is coming.
(41:40):
So, instead of seeing it as mesitting here waiting, start
preparing.
What can I do to prepare?
Do I have to grow as a person?
Do I have to be emotionallymature?
Do I have to know how tocommunicate?
Do I have to know how to handleconflict better?
Do I need to learn how toforgive?
(42:03):
Do I need to learn how to healfrom the past?
So many different things.
Only you know what that thingis.
Number two do not use waiting asa time for you to pause.
Sometimes God is aligning whatyou can't yet see.
This doesn't mean do nothing.
(42:27):
It means move quietly.
It means move quietly, but withintention.
A lot of powerful moves happenin silence.
I liked that one because it'strue.
What can we do to prepare forthat?
(42:49):
You know, when I wanted to dothe podcast, I didn't announce
it to everybody.
I just started researching, Istarted preparing, I started
figuring out how do I get itstarted, what is the goal behind
this?
And I did a lot of quietpreparing.
(43:09):
But before that, years beforethat, I had to learn how to
communicate.
I had to go through some thingsin order to be able to talk
about it to you all.
I needed some talking points.
Number three focus on what's inyour control.
So you know, we all thinkthings are out of our control,
(43:36):
and there are real things thatare out of our control.
But if you really sit down andthink about it in any situation,
is this something I can control?
And I learned this from myhusband, philip.
Philip, because I am anemotional being and what he has
(44:10):
taught me is anytime I got veryemotional about whatever a spat
with a sibling or a parent oryou know whatever big feelings I
was having His question alwaysto me was can you control this?
What can you do differently?
And that really startedshifting my mindset as to what
can I do to change this.
And if I can't, I have to letit go.
I just have to let it go.
So number three is focus onwhat's in your control.
So list action steps that youcan take today that will push
(44:34):
your overall vision forward.
And we have to remember thateven the small wins are powerful
and small wins are fuel andsmall wins are something to
celebrate.
You're just waiting.
(44:55):
We can do this simultaneously.
We can bloom when we're plantedand be our best selves and grow
in the way that we're supposedto grow.
So when that opportunity comesof whatever it is that you've
been waiting for, that, when itfalls in your lap, that you're
ready to move forward with it.
So those are three things totake away from quote, unquote
the waiting game.
So let's not see that as anegative.
(45:15):
Let's see that as a positive.
So what is something you've beenwaiting on, and what would
happen if you started showing up, like it was already on its way
?
What will you do differently?
What will you start doing?
What would you stop doing?
(45:36):
You know, I would really loveto hear your journey and those
who are currently in the waitinggame.
I would really love to hearyour journey.
You know, I know there's someof us that are still in that
waiting game.
What does that look like andhow are you feeling?
And for those of us who havebeen in that waiting game and
come out of the other side, whatdoes that look like?
You know you can share andinspire me and inspire others to
(46:01):
keep going.
So at Virago247, that's myInstagram handle or Facebook I
have a Facebook group calledVirago247.
A Facebook group called Virago24-7.
So, as always, I thank you all.
So, so, so much for being heretoday.
Glad to be back.
Hope all of you had a fabuloussummer and we will be talking
(46:28):
soon, but before we go, I wantto leave you all with this Bloom
where you are.
Bloom despite the weeds andgrow tall and beautiful anyways.
Bloom where you are, even ifyou wish you were elsewhere.
Take in all the light when thesun is shining, and know that
(46:54):
the rain is necessary when it'snot.
Know that everything you needto bloom is right inside of you.
You already have the strengthand capability to grow.
Nourish your body and take careof your mind.
Keep learning and growing.
Let your true colors shine.
Thank you so much for listeningto Virago 24-7.
(47:26):
Let your true colors shine.
24 underscore seven.
And on Facebook, at Virago 24slash seven and just connect
with us and share your story.
We'd love to hear from you.
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