January 10, 2024 • 37 mins
As your host, Lyanette Talley, I get real about the challenge of stepping outside our comfort zone. Sharing my trek from the grips of the fear zone, filled with self-doubt and worry about opinions, to the exhilarating embrace of the growth zone, I'm laying it all out there. Growth is not just about reaching a destination; it's about the rich, transformative process of learning, facing challenges head-on, and holding steadfast to our dreams—even when the path gets rocky.
Finally, let's tackle fear and how to conquer it in order to get out of our comfort zone to reach the growth zone. I break down the power of taking small steps toward achieving your goals. Embrace discomfort, flex that 'fearless muscle,' and let's get grow together. Remember to connect with our community on social media and subscribe to keep up with our collective pursuit of growth, healing, and becoming the everyday warriors we're meant to be.
Go to my website virago247.net for all things Virago 24/7
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Everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors!
Music by Deli Rowe: "Space to Move"
Logo by Kaylin Talley
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, I am your host, Lyanette Talley, and you are
listening to Virago 24-7.
Virago is Latin for femalewarrior and 24-7 is for all day,
every day.
Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcastthat brings diverse women
together to talk about life andour experiences in this world.
We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage,
(00:24):
children, friendships and reallyanything that needs to be
talked about.
Here you will find everydaygrowth, everyday healing with
everyday warriors.
Happy New Year everybody.
(00:47):
Happy 2024, 2024.
I was gonna sing another song,but it's a birthday song.
I was gonna be like Happy NewYear to ya.
Happy New Year to ya.
Happy New Year, anyways, hello,I know it's been a minute.
(01:09):
I hope everyone had wonderfulholidays Thanksgiving, Christmas
, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa all thethings that you celebrate.
I hope it was wonderful.
For me it was great.
Thanksgiving was good.
It was a small gathering thisyear.
Normally there's lots of people, but we couldn't all get
(01:29):
together this year, so it was asmall gathering, which was very
pleasant.
Some nice one-on-one time withmy sister-in-law and some
friends, and Christmas is alwaysvery low-key.
Here at the Talley House, wejust spend it with the five of
us, which is lovely.
We play games, we watch lots oftelevision and we just veg out.
(01:52):
It's amazing Celebrated the NewYear's at my brother's house
with a few friends and kids, andit was just a lovely, lovely
time.
So now we are here in 2024,getting things rolling again and
I'm excited always excited forthe new year, new beginnings.
I'm current in my youngest, 13years old.
(02:14):
She's like this is allsomething on TikTok.
She just signed me up on TikTok, so I don't do a lot of
TikToking, but I guess 2024 isthe year where everyone's saying
it's a restart.
I think that's the word sheused a restart.
So, yes, happy, happy New Year,and I think yeah, I think on it
(02:42):
.
I think I haven't been on in awhile because I don't remember
talking about my Virago eventthat I had in November, november
11th.
With my Virago event and withanything that I'm trying to do
and I'm sure if you're trying tocome out of your comfort zone,
(03:05):
it can be nerve-wrecking You'reputting yourself out there in a
way where you want people to bereceptive and to enjoy what
you're providing and doing, andso with the Virago event, it was
at a hotel and I've been asked,before I go on with the story,
(03:29):
what are these events about?
So I started the podcast in2020.
And I just wanted to come hereand talk and bring women on and
just literally haveconversations that we normally
would have when there's nomicrophones around, because
there's always so manyinteresting perspectives and
stories and backgrounds andupbringings and struggles and
(03:51):
joys and everything.
And I love just gettingtogether and just having these
conversations with my friendsand we're just normal women
living our day to day and I justwanted to bring it to this
platform and so, with the events, instead of just listening, I
wanted to come together andbring women together to continue
(04:14):
these conversations, to havecommunity, to bring in speakers,
activities, to learn aboutourselves, to learn about each
other, to meet new people, allthe things.
And that's the purpose of theVirago 24-7 events.
(04:34):
For those who have asked and ifyou haven't asked, you may be
wondering and so in this one, wehad an Enneagram coach, Melissa
Thorson, who's been on the showa few times and she's amazing.
And Enneagram is like apersonality how you basically
(04:56):
everyone has a number onethrough nine and that is how you
are motivated in this world,how you handle situations,
basically how you tick.
And so she gave us the overviewof it and we had questions that
we needed that, we were needingto add or to answer, and, yeah,
(05:19):
it was great.
And with anything I once it wasover.
First of all, going into it, Iwas nervous, nervous, nervous.
Even though I know these women,I respect them.
I have an awesome group offriends that just show up for
each other and show up for me,so I'm so appreciative of those
(05:42):
who attended so so much.
Even though I know them, it'sstill nerve wracking because
it's not on a personal level,it's more something that I'm
trying to do professionally.
So I was very nervous andwanted everything to go smoothly
and it did.
It did.
But afterwards I start lookingback and analyzing every little
(06:03):
thing, things that I could havedone better and things that it
could have gone smoother.
And you know, with anythingwe're so critical of ourselves
and I did give everyone anevaluation to just let me know
how things can be better in thefuture, because I do plan on
doing these every year andthat's my goal is to improve on
(06:28):
it every year and get better andbetter and make it more amazing
.
So with that I there's a fewthings that I was like okay,
first thing that just hit me isjust like, wow, I'm so
appreciative of my friend groupand, like I said before, those
who show up and support and justcome together to be there for
(06:51):
each other and for me.
So that was one thing that justoverwhelmed me with joy, which
was crazy because at the veryend.
So we did the whole day and wehad someone come in to do Reiki.
I've always wanted to do Reikiand so you can that was an
additional thing if you wantedto sign up and do it.
So of course I wanted to do it,because it's something that
(07:13):
I've always wanted to do.
And at the very end I'm likebawling.
I'm bawling like a baby.
I guess I had all these pent upemotions and just kind of
holding it in that I just let itall out with the Reiki guy and
I'm just like I'm so sorry.
He's like no, it's okay, you'rejust releasing.
So I know for a fact that I waslike trying to keep it together
(07:35):
and I just let it out at theend of the day and it was very
therapeutic and I was sobbing.
The two were just coming downas we're chanting and he's
putting his hands on you knowaround me that he doesn't really
touch.
It's just more like energy and Idid not think I was gonna get
that emotional but I did, and sojust realizing that I love my
(07:58):
friend group and they love me,and that just feels so good and
which makes me want to do keepdoing these events, because not
everyone has that community, noteveryone has people that can
come around them and supportthem, and bringing women
together to provide that forthose that don't have it,
(08:19):
because we all should have anamazing friend group and amazing
community.
And then the other thing wasman, come in on my comfort zone,
listen, you can, you see me?
If you know me, I am like loudand I'll dance and I'll sing,
even though I can't, and youknow, I'm just I'm out there.
(08:41):
But when it comes to doingsomething like this, I'm very
critical and I can be moreinward and don't want to come
out of my comfort zone.
And for this year with Virago,obviously I want to keep
recording and I want to do, youknow, that big event in November
, maybe one or two smallerthings throughout the year, but
(09:04):
the biggest thing next is doinglike videos.
Everyone's doing videos and forsome reason I have like this
wall of oh gosh, I don't want todo videos, but I know, to gain
exposure for the podcast, thatI'm gonna have to do that and
I'm trying to figure out whatthat wall is.
But I have to do it and this ismy year to do it.
(09:27):
So I'm like, how do I get outof my comfort zone?
How do I get out of this?
How do I punch this wall downand kick it down?
And then I look back and Ithink, okay, so when I started
the podcast I was hella nervous,didn't know I was doing, did a
ton of research and then finallyjust said just do it.
And you're gonna make mistakesand it's gonna probably sound
(09:48):
really bad in the beginning, butwe're gonna just keep going,
because that's a lot of thethings that I read just start
and you'll just get better andbetter and better.
And I guess that's withanything you start and you're
gonna suck it in the beginningand you just get better and more
comfortable.
And I remember I mean evenhaving people on with me, I'd
just be so nervous and like I'masking the right questions is
(10:10):
this conversation eveninteresting?
And then even my solo ones.
The solo ones, oh my gosh.
I'm like okay, the reason thesolo ones start is like I don't
have a guest, I need to talkabout something, I need to keep
this going and, oh my gosh, youshould have seen me before I
even turn on the microphone.
I'm like sitting here and myvoice is shaking and then I
(10:30):
would delete and I would startover and I'd be so nervous on
the inside and, like now, I havezero problems.
I turn it on.
Sometimes I have a writtenformat, sometimes it's like in
my head and I have zero problemswith doing it.
So today I want to talk aboutcoming out of our comfort zones,
(10:53):
because if you look back onanything in your life, you have
had to come out of your comfortzone at some point.
And We've done it, we'veovercome, we've gotten stronger
If we kept up with whatever thatis.
For me it's the podcast, for meit's, you know, doing these
(11:15):
events.
And then I know, eventuallydoing videos will be like easy
breezy, no big deal.
But I wanted to look at likewhat is a comfort zone and what
does that look like and what aresome ways that we can train
ourselves and teach ourselves tocome out of it.
And so I, you know, looked atseveral ways website.
(11:35):
So everything that I will betalking about today I got from
positive psychologycom,forbescom and real simplecom and
I found some articles on eachwebsite that talked about
comfort zone and what that meansand what it looks like to come
out of it, what benefits it isto like come out of your comfort
(11:56):
zone and the steps to get there.
So first of all, I found thisgraph and it said comfort zone,
fear zone, learning zone, growthzone.
So those are the differentcategories and the different
(12:17):
stages of coming out of yourcomfort zone and obviously we
all need to aspire and want toget to the growth zone.
Comfort zone, it says it's azone where you feel safe and you
feel in control.
So obviously that's why wedon't want to come out of our
comfort zones because we want tofeel safe and we want to feel
(12:39):
in control and we're familiarwith this and where it makes us
feel like nice and fuzzy, like awarm blanket or a warm hug, the
fear zone is like right afterthe comfort zone.
No wonder we don't want to stepout of our comfort zone,
because who wants to go into thefreaking fear zone?
And it was described.
(13:01):
That zone is described as you'reaffected by others' opinions,
you lack confidence and you findexcuses.
Oh my gosh.
That resonates with me so much.
We worry about others' opinions, we lack confidence and we find
excuses, and that's when it hitme and that's why I do not want
(13:22):
to do videos, because I feel,even though I've grown so much,
I am still a human and we docare what people think.
So I, in putting myself outthere, means more exposure,
which means more opinions,whether good, whether bad, and I
(13:45):
feel like I'm going to beaffected by that lack of
confidence.
You know I do.
What am I talking about?
Am I videoing the podcast?
Am I giving my own little blurbof something?
I don't know?
And then so I'm finding excusesof I don't have time.
I only have time to talk andedit, and that's it.
Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy.
(14:07):
So when I read that I'm like,okay, to come out of my comfort
zone, I have to go into thatfear zone, and all three felt it
in my soul.
And even though I've done thisevent thing last year, I feel
like I'm going to get back intothat fear zone again with the
(14:27):
next one, because what I need todo is what I realized don't
think about it too much, justplan it and just do it.
After the fear zone is thelearning zone.
So the learning zone is you'redealing with challenges and
problems, you're acquiring,acquiring new skills.
(14:51):
And it says extend the comfortzone.
So you know it's not the fearzone, but you're learning and
you're in your and your problemsolving.
And yes, there's going to bechallenges and but I guess
you're overcoming it becauseyou're getting a little bit more
comfortable with things.
The growth zone oh, we all wantto be in this zone, we want to
(15:13):
live here.
It says you live your dreams,you're setting new goals and
you're realizing youraspirations.
Like, oh, my gosh, do we allwant to get there, but damn, do
we have to go through somejourneys to get there.
And this is why people stay intheir comfort zone.
It makes complete, completesense why people stay in the
(15:35):
comfort zone.
You have to go to, like,through two other zones to get
to the growth zone.
It's not, and I was reading.
It says you know the journeyfrom the comfort zone to the
growth zone it's never going tobe the straightforward path.
You know there's going to besetbacks and you're going to
want to retreat back to yourcomfort zone and people may
(15:55):
retreat back to the comfort zone.
But that's what perseverancelooks like, even if we recoil or
we take some time, like, okay,I need to put a pause on this.
We have to persevere and wehave to keep going because, man,
I bet that growth zone is likeso fun, so, so fun.
And that's what we need to dothis year.
(16:16):
If any of us are in our comfortzones and there's something in
our hearts that we really wantto do, but we're like terrified,
we got to persevere and,despite our fears, we got to do
it.
We got to do it because growingis the goal, guys, like I think
(16:36):
people think happiness, youknow happy, and emotions come
and go, but growing.
I feel like we're always goingto be growing and that's
exciting because with growth islearning new things and
experiencing new situations, andit sounds scary as hell, but
I'm here for it, guys.
I'm here for it and I hopethere's some of you out there
(16:58):
that are here for it too, so wecan do this together and give
each other pointers and cheerfor each other.
I found out there's four things,the benefits of coming out of
your comfort zone.
The first one is self-integrityand self-efficacy, and I had
asked Phillip how to pronouncethat word.
I'm like I don't know how topronounce.
(17:18):
Listen, I'm smart in a lot ofways, but I didn't know how to
pronounce efficacy.
So it says self-integrityrefers to people's view of
themselves as morally andadaptively adequate.
Having self-integrity isempowering.
Overcoming a challenge outsideof one's comfort zone rather
(17:39):
than avoiding it can strengthenself-integrity as people attain
greater competence andconfidence and navigating
uncertainty and unpredictability.
Although going outside one'scomfort zone may be stressful,
it is unlikely to be as adverseas people imagine it will be.
Self-efficacy refers to thebelief that one has the skills
(18:03):
necessary to do a task.
By pushing beyond our limits,we realize we are capable of
more and can thrive inchallenging circumstances.
My gosh, that sounds like fun.
Next is growth mindset.
Oh my gosh, that's actually oneof my favorite things the
growth mindset versus the fixedmindset.
(18:25):
And I'm here to tell you.
There's people with fixedmindsets out there, and I for
one want to always have a growthmindset.
So someone with a growthmindset believes they can expand
their abilities through effortand practice.
The term was coined bypsychologist Carol Dweck, who
differentiated between a fixedmindset and a growth mindset.
(18:48):
People with a fixed mindsetbelieve they were dealt
particular cards in life, andthat is that I was born into
this and they feel sorry forthemselves and that's why they
weren't able to do yada, yada,yada, yada, yada.
It also says there is a ceilingto what they can achieve.
(19:10):
So trying new things isterrifying and pointless.
People with a growth mindsetbelieve they can change and grow
and expand.
This mindset gives us room totry new things.
So we are striving to begrowth-minded people.
A third benefit of coming out ofyour comfort zone is reduced
(19:31):
regret, so it says.
Research suggests that peopletend to regret the actions they
did not take rather than theactions they did, and they tend
to find excuses to miss many ofthe seemingly risky
opportunities in their lives forgrowth.
And I think I said in thebeginning that there were four
(19:52):
benefits, but there's actuallyfive.
So number four resilience andanti-fragility.
The practice of steppingoutside one's comfort zone
prepares them to deal withunpredictable life stressors.
The term anti-fragility wascoined by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
(20:13):
and refers to the ability togain strength from adversity.
Anti-fragility is beyondresilience or robustness.
He's quoted as saying theresilient resists shocks and
stays the same.
The anti-fragile gets better.
And number fiveself-actualization.
(20:35):
In short, this means achievingone's full potential.
People who go outside of theircomfort zone, may discover new
opportunities in theirenvironment and meet new people
to help them grow into the bestversions of themselves.
I like these benefits, I reallydo.
So now do we get there?
Now that we know these benefitsand know why we need to get out
(20:58):
of our comfort zones, how do weget there?
What steps do we take?
So I found a few differentlists and read a ton of
different ways to get out of ourcomfort zone, so I picked the
few that I liked the best, thatI want to try to not try that
(21:20):
I'm going to make an effort andbe more intentional with doing
to get out of my comfort zone.
So the first one surroundyourself with confident people.
Intentionally associating withconfident people and being in
their space challenges thesubconscious to take risks and
(21:43):
also helps to breed confidencein the minds of those who tend
to be timid and withdrawn.
Associative transformation isan immersive strategy that
engages the conscience andsubconscious dimensions of the
mind, which can lead to behaviormodification.
Okay, those are all very bigwords, but yeah, it's basically
(22:04):
what I get from this is by beingaround confident people, we are
going to learn from them and wewill transform, and that is the
truth, I know I come on hereand I rave about my husband,
phillip, and I just think he'sjust a wonderful person.
Just last night I was praisinghim and I don't think I've said
(22:29):
this to him before or maybe it'sbeen a long time because he was
so flattered and he's like, wow, you really think that about me
.
Thank you so much.
But he's one of the people inmy life that has helped me to
grow, because he is a veryconfident person and just
watching him build his practiceliterally from the ground up, he
(22:51):
just handles challenges withsuch I don't know like I don't
know what words to use just hedoesn't let those things stop
him.
He continues to keep going andovercomes and perseveres any
challenges that come his way,cause it's very, very it's a lot
(23:15):
and very stressful to have yourown business and to have a team
that you're leading and youhave patients and it's a lot.
And I was just telling him Iwould have quit a long time ago
and you're one of the peoplethat has helped me grow as a
person, cause watching you justkeep going and just having that
(23:40):
grind and that work ethic andthat to me is so admirable, and
so I just let him know and hewas very flattered.
He's like, really, and I'm like, yeah, man, maybe I just
haven't said it or it's been awhile, I don't know, but I have
grown because I have been aroundhim and he's extremely
(24:02):
confident.
So that is the truth.
And, of course, I do have someconfident friends.
I do have a few out there thatare very confident, and so I've
learned from them.
Just to just keep it moving.
Number two take it step by step.
Try and something new can feelextremely daunting.
What can make it even scarieris looking at people who have
(24:24):
been doing it for years andthinking you have to perform at
that same level upon starting Tocombat this.
Break down a new task orproject into several mini steps.
Focus on completing the firststep.
Share your work with your bestfriend and see what they think.
Go from.
There is what it says.
(24:44):
So baby steps, we don't have toget there right away, and I
think that's what we're soimpatient as humans.
We just wanna get to that levelthat you see so and so at Like
I should be there, but you don'tknow what they had to do to get
there.
And there's I don't know if anyof you have seen this, but
(25:06):
there's this thing online andit's two ladders and there's one
and I think there's like bigsteps in between one and then
the like baby steps in betweenanother and I forget the quote,
but it's the image of.
It's easier to take these babysteps than literally standing at
(25:27):
the bottom of the ladder tryingto get to that huge big step up
above.
I mean, it's so unrealistic.
So taking those baby steps toget to that top of the ladder is
the way to go, and anytime Ifeel like I just wanna get there
, I think of that image of theladders and just remind myself
(25:48):
baby steps, man, baby steps.
Everyone had to start somewhere.
Number four start small tocreate habits.
A good tip is to start withsmall steps, which we already
just talked about.
The brain is designed toconserve energy.
When the brain realizes thedemand for effort is not too big
, it is more easily willing toperform it.
(26:08):
When it succeeds, the rewardsystem is activated and this
triggers motivation.
When the brain feels motivated,it is easier to produce the
necessary changes in habits orimplement new actions.
So yeah, it's similar to numberthree, but also number four to
me is once you do those babysteps and your brain is telling
(26:32):
you wow, you did it.
And it's motivation like that'swhen you create these habits.
So for me, this year, I wannabe diligent.
I want to stop making excuses.
Be very diligent.
Create these habits of notprocrastinating, just doing it,
just get the idea and do thedamn thing.
(26:53):
Number five evaluate your risktolerance.
There are two ways to approachthis.
One way is to jump right intoit and go all in and listen.
I admire people that can justjump all in.
It's impressive and it makes mewant to crap in my pants to
even think about jumping all in.
(27:14):
Forget the baby steps, just goin there and hope that you swim.
The second way is to take smallsteps forward and ease into it.
Before you decide which of thetwo approaches will work best
for you, I think I've alreadydecided Begin by evaluating your
risk tolerance, setting up asupport system and understanding
which of the two approacheswill yield a higher level of
(27:37):
stick with it-ness stick withit-ness for you.
What am I missing that I amscared just to jump in Even?
I mean, I imagine myself likeeven going to a pool and if it's
cold, I'm not the kind thatjust jumps right in Like some
(27:58):
people they just get it overwith.
I'm the one that goes to thestairs and tips me my toes in
there, and then my foot, andthen the bottom half of my legs,
and then my knees, and then mythighs, and then, and then
actually, now that I'm thinkingabout it, that's exactly how I
go into a pool if I think it'scold.
(28:18):
And then, once it hits my chest, then it's like all right,
let's dunk down.
But it took me all those littlesteps.
Gosh, that's torture.
Now that I'm thinking about it,that is torture to go in so
slowly.
Maybe the people that arejumping in are a little bit
smarter than me.
I don't know.
I don't know something to thinkabout.
Number six train your fearlessmuscle.
(28:41):
Ooh, let's see how we can dothat.
Coming out of your comfort zoneis always scary, is what the
step says.
The only way to become good atit is to do it often.
It's like training a muscle themore you use it, the stronger
you become.
The more you face your fear ofdoing unfamiliar things, the
easier it will become.
(29:01):
Um, yeah, that's easier saidthan done.
Listen, we don't want to faceour fears.
Then if we were so gung-ho andso like, yes, let's face our
fears and we would be doing it,we wouldn't need these articles.
So I like that one, but thatone to me is easier said than
(29:23):
done.
Number seven remember what youwant to achieve.
If you are really passionateabout growing your business and
career and, for example, knowthat you need to network more to
achieve this, there's no gainin remaining in your comfort
zone.
Keep your accomplishments atthe forefront of your mind to
make sure you feel worthy andconfident enough to step out.
(29:44):
So to me, that's what's yourwhy?
What is your why behind doingwhat you are wanting to do?
We all have a why.
I think some of us are more intune with it than others.
Some of us don't want to faceit because we don't want to come
out of our comfort zone.
So we rather just tellourselves, well, maybe it wasn't
(30:06):
meant to be, and again come upwith excuses.
So remember what you want toachieve.
Number eight engage in gradualexposure practice.
So this one says try engagingin gradual exposure practice by
taking small steps towards yourgoal.
For example, if you fear publicspeaking, try speaking up in a
(30:26):
small group discussions first.
Every time you face your fear,your brain records the evidence
of success and weakens theneural pathways associated with
fear in the situation.
Think about gradual exposure asa vaccine that boosts your
mental immunity and fearresilience.
So just keep doing.
(30:47):
Just keeps women, just keepswomen.
Next, make the objective worthyof your discomfort.
Focus on why you want to takethe action in the first place.
So imagine delivering apresentation.
If your objective is to get itright, you'll be derailed at the
slightest hiccup.
If, instead, your objective,the presentation is to help save
(31:08):
lives, for example, you'll stayfocused on what's important,
even when you're uncomfortable.
Make the objective worthy ofyour discomfort.
So for me, with Virago, evenwhen I feel uncomfortable, I
feel so strongly led to doingthis and so strongly led to
(31:30):
connecting women.
I've said before I don't knowhow the journey looks.
I just know that I'm doing itand that's what keeps me going.
Until something inside me tellsme that I need to stop, I'm
gonna keep going.
So I do like that one.
That one's a good one.
Remind yourself why you'redoing it.
(31:51):
The next one is find a rolemodel to emulate.
Think of someone who is afraidof nothing, in whom you admire.
Then act as you think theywould.
No amount of motivationalsayings to pump yourself up is
ever going to act as a catapult.
You've just got to step in, doit, see yourself doing it, learn
from it, win from it and keepgoing rock.
(32:14):
It's okay to take baby stepsand dip a toe in, but once that
toe gets acclimated, go for it.
So I've already told you who myrole model is when it comes to
fearlessness and confidence.
That's Felipe Talle.
And the last one that I likedwas acknowledge your fear.
Often people get overwhelmedwhen stepping out of their
(32:37):
comfort zone, so it's importantfor them to ensure they stay in
the uncomfortable learning zonewithout pushing themselves into
the terror zone.
An actual step is to firstadmit when you're afraid.
Acknowledging fear immediatelyallows you to become fully
present and focus on taking onlythe next few steps.
(33:00):
So we have learned that there'sa comfort zone, a fear zone, a
learning zone and a growth zone.
We've learned the benefits ofcoming out of our comfort zone
and we learned what steps weneed to take to come out of it.
(33:23):
So let's stop overthinking andlet's just freaking.
Do it.
I've been an overthinker man foryears and I made so many
excuses why I couldn't dosomething.
And I'm just done.
I'm done sitting back andwatching everyone else do the
(33:45):
damn thing, and me still kind of, you know, like yeah, I've come
out of my comfort zone, butthen I get comfortable and then
I'm afraid to come out of thatcomfort zone.
It's like a vicious cycle.
I don't know if it's ever gonnaend.
But it's just funny how weforget that we have already come
out of comfort zones before.
(34:06):
It's like maybe as women, whenwe have a baby, we forget all
the pain and then we'll do itagain, like it's like one of
those things our brains areweird that way where we know
we've overcome some crap.
I'm done.
I'm done with all of that.
We've all have come so far.
We've all come out of comfortzones.
(34:27):
We've all come so far and we'veall, at some point in our lives
, have been pushed out of ourcomfort zone, all of it.
And we're still here and we'rebreathing and we're all living
(34:47):
to tell all about it, whichmeans we've overcome it and
we've persevered, so we've doneit.
Remember that.
We have to remember that.
So I want to push myself thisyear, even when it's scary and
even when I don't know theroadmap where it is all of the
(35:09):
details.
There's so much within us thatwe have yet to tap into.
I don't want to do this alone,guys.
I need one or two or three, orall of you out there to come
alongside me to get out of ourcomfort zones.
I'm excited for 2024.
(35:30):
This is our growth year.
I can feel it.
I can feel it.
It's a restart.
That's what my 13 year old saidit's a restart.
I'll leave you all with thisquote I want to get more
comfortable being uncomfortable.
I want to get more confidentbeing uncertain.
(35:52):
I don't want to shrink backjust because something isn't
easy.
I want to push back and makemore room in the area between I
can't and I can.
I'll see you all next week.
We did another Men of Viragothis past weekend, so look
(36:18):
forward to that show next weekwith the Men.
All.
Right Bye.
Thank you so much for listeningto Virago 24-7.
If you haven't done so already,go ahead and hit that subscribe
button and please give us fivestar ratings.
(36:38):
Also, don't forget to follow uson Instagram at Virago 24
underscore seven, and onFacebook at Virago 24 slash
seven, and just connect with usand share your story.
We would love to hear from you.
Hi, I am your host, Lyanette Talley, and you are
listening to Virago 24-7.
Virago is Latin for femalewarrior and 24-7 is for all day,
every day.
Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcastthat brings diverse women
together to talk about life andour experiences in this world.
We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage,
(00:24):
children, friendships and reallyanything that needs to be
talked about.
Here you will find everydaygrowth, everyday healing with
everyday warriors.
Happy New Year everybody.
(00:47):
Happy 2024, 2024.
I was gonna sing another song,but it's a birthday song.
I was gonna be like Happy NewYear to ya.
Happy New Year to ya.
Happy New Year, anyways, hello,I know it's been a minute.
(01:09):
I hope everyone had wonderfulholidays Thanksgiving, Christmas
, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa all thethings that you celebrate.
I hope it was wonderful.
For me it was great.
Thanksgiving was good.
It was a small gathering thisyear.
Normally there's lots of people, but we couldn't all get
(01:29):
together this year, so it was asmall gathering, which was very
pleasant.
Some nice one-on-one time withmy sister-in-law and some
friends, and Christmas is alwaysvery low-key.
Here at the Talley House, wejust spend it with the five of
us, which is lovely.
We play games, we watch lots oftelevision and we just veg out.
(01:52):
It's amazing Celebrated the NewYear's at my brother's house
with a few friends and kids, andit was just a lovely, lovely
time.
So now we are here in 2024,getting things rolling again and
I'm excited always excited forthe new year, new beginnings.
I'm current in my youngest, 13years old.
(02:14):
She's like this is allsomething on TikTok.
She just signed me up on TikTok, so I don't do a lot of
TikToking, but I guess 2024 isthe year where everyone's saying
it's a restart.
I think that's the word sheused a restart.
So, yes, happy, happy New Year,and I think yeah, I think on it
(02:42):
.
I think I haven't been on in awhile because I don't remember
talking about my Virago eventthat I had in November, november
11th.
With my Virago event and withanything that I'm trying to do
and I'm sure if you're trying tocome out of your comfort zone,
(03:05):
it can be nerve-wrecking You'reputting yourself out there in a
way where you want people to bereceptive and to enjoy what
you're providing and doing, andso with the Virago event, it was
at a hotel and I've been asked,before I go on with the story,
(03:29):
what are these events about?
So I started the podcast in2020.
And I just wanted to come hereand talk and bring women on and
just literally haveconversations that we normally
would have when there's nomicrophones around, because
there's always so manyinteresting perspectives and
stories and backgrounds andupbringings and struggles and
(03:51):
joys and everything.
And I love just gettingtogether and just having these
conversations with my friendsand we're just normal women
living our day to day and I justwanted to bring it to this
platform and so, with the events, instead of just listening, I
wanted to come together andbring women together to continue
(04:14):
these conversations, to havecommunity, to bring in speakers,
activities, to learn aboutourselves, to learn about each
other, to meet new people, allthe things.
And that's the purpose of theVirago 24-7 events.
(04:34):
For those who have asked and ifyou haven't asked, you may be
wondering and so in this one, wehad an Enneagram coach, Melissa
Thorson, who's been on the showa few times and she's amazing.
And Enneagram is like apersonality how you basically
(04:56):
everyone has a number onethrough nine and that is how you
are motivated in this world,how you handle situations,
basically how you tick.
And so she gave us the overviewof it and we had questions that
we needed that, we were needingto add or to answer, and, yeah,
(05:19):
it was great.
And with anything I once it wasover.
First of all, going into it, Iwas nervous, nervous, nervous.
Even though I know these women,I respect them.
I have an awesome group offriends that just show up for
each other and show up for me,so I'm so appreciative of those
(05:42):
who attended so so much.
Even though I know them, it'sstill nerve wracking because
it's not on a personal level,it's more something that I'm
trying to do professionally.
So I was very nervous andwanted everything to go smoothly
and it did.
It did.
But afterwards I start lookingback and analyzing every little
(06:03):
thing, things that I could havedone better and things that it
could have gone smoother.
And you know, with anythingwe're so critical of ourselves
and I did give everyone anevaluation to just let me know
how things can be better in thefuture, because I do plan on
doing these every year andthat's my goal is to improve on
(06:28):
it every year and get better andbetter and make it more amazing
.
So with that I there's a fewthings that I was like okay,
first thing that just hit me isjust like, wow, I'm so
appreciative of my friend groupand, like I said before, those
who show up and support and justcome together to be there for
(06:51):
each other and for me.
So that was one thing that justoverwhelmed me with joy, which
was crazy because at the veryend.
So we did the whole day and wehad someone come in to do Reiki.
I've always wanted to do Reikiand so you can that was an
additional thing if you wantedto sign up and do it.
So of course I wanted to do it,because it's something that
(07:13):
I've always wanted to do.
And at the very end I'm likebawling.
I'm bawling like a baby.
I guess I had all these pent upemotions and just kind of
holding it in that I just let itall out with the Reiki guy and
I'm just like I'm so sorry.
He's like no, it's okay, you'rejust releasing.
So I know for a fact that I waslike trying to keep it together
(07:35):
and I just let it out at theend of the day and it was very
therapeutic and I was sobbing.
The two were just coming downas we're chanting and he's
putting his hands on you knowaround me that he doesn't really
touch.
It's just more like energy and Idid not think I was gonna get
that emotional but I did, and sojust realizing that I love my
(07:58):
friend group and they love me,and that just feels so good and
which makes me want to do keepdoing these events, because not
everyone has that community, noteveryone has people that can
come around them and supportthem, and bringing women
together to provide that forthose that don't have it,
(08:19):
because we all should have anamazing friend group and amazing
community.
And then the other thing wasman, come in on my comfort zone,
listen, you can, you see me?
If you know me, I am like loudand I'll dance and I'll sing,
even though I can't, and youknow, I'm just I'm out there.
(08:41):
But when it comes to doingsomething like this, I'm very
critical and I can be moreinward and don't want to come
out of my comfort zone.
And for this year with Virago,obviously I want to keep
recording and I want to do, youknow, that big event in November
, maybe one or two smallerthings throughout the year, but
(09:04):
the biggest thing next is doinglike videos.
Everyone's doing videos and forsome reason I have like this
wall of oh gosh, I don't want todo videos, but I know, to gain
exposure for the podcast, thatI'm gonna have to do that and
I'm trying to figure out whatthat wall is.
But I have to do it and this ismy year to do it.
(09:27):
So I'm like, how do I get outof my comfort zone?
How do I get out of this?
How do I punch this wall downand kick it down?
And then I look back and Ithink, okay, so when I started
the podcast I was hella nervous,didn't know I was doing, did a
ton of research and then finallyjust said just do it.
And you're gonna make mistakesand it's gonna probably sound
(09:48):
really bad in the beginning, butwe're gonna just keep going,
because that's a lot of thethings that I read just start
and you'll just get better andbetter and better.
And I guess that's withanything you start and you're
gonna suck it in the beginningand you just get better and more
comfortable.
And I remember I mean evenhaving people on with me, I'd
just be so nervous and like I'masking the right questions is
(10:10):
this conversation eveninteresting?
And then even my solo ones.
The solo ones, oh my gosh.
I'm like okay, the reason thesolo ones start is like I don't
have a guest, I need to talkabout something, I need to keep
this going and, oh my gosh, youshould have seen me before I
even turn on the microphone.
I'm like sitting here and myvoice is shaking and then I
(10:30):
would delete and I would startover and I'd be so nervous on
the inside and, like now, I havezero problems.
I turn it on.
Sometimes I have a writtenformat, sometimes it's like in
my head and I have zero problemswith doing it.
So today I want to talk aboutcoming out of our comfort zones,
(10:53):
because if you look back onanything in your life, you have
had to come out of your comfortzone at some point.
And We've done it, we'veovercome, we've gotten stronger
If we kept up with whatever thatis.
For me it's the podcast, for meit's, you know, doing these
(11:15):
events.
And then I know, eventuallydoing videos will be like easy
breezy, no big deal.
But I wanted to look at likewhat is a comfort zone and what
does that look like and what aresome ways that we can train
ourselves and teach ourselves tocome out of it.
And so I, you know, looked atseveral ways website.
(11:35):
So everything that I will betalking about today I got from
positive psychologycom,forbescom and real simplecom and
I found some articles on eachwebsite that talked about
comfort zone and what that meansand what it looks like to come
out of it, what benefits it isto like come out of your comfort
(11:56):
zone and the steps to get there.
So first of all, I found thisgraph and it said comfort zone,
fear zone, learning zone, growthzone.
So those are the differentcategories and the different
(12:17):
stages of coming out of yourcomfort zone and obviously we
all need to aspire and want toget to the growth zone.
Comfort zone, it says it's azone where you feel safe and you
feel in control.
So obviously that's why wedon't want to come out of our
comfort zones because we want tofeel safe and we want to feel
(12:39):
in control and we're familiarwith this and where it makes us
feel like nice and fuzzy, like awarm blanket or a warm hug, the
fear zone is like right afterthe comfort zone.
No wonder we don't want to stepout of our comfort zone,
because who wants to go into thefreaking fear zone?
And it was described.
(13:01):
That zone is described as you'reaffected by others' opinions,
you lack confidence and you findexcuses.
Oh my gosh.
That resonates with me so much.
We worry about others' opinions, we lack confidence and we find
excuses, and that's when it hitme and that's why I do not want
(13:22):
to do videos, because I feel,even though I've grown so much,
I am still a human and we docare what people think.
So I, in putting myself outthere, means more exposure,
which means more opinions,whether good, whether bad, and I
(13:45):
feel like I'm going to beaffected by that lack of
confidence.
You know I do.
What am I talking about?
Am I videoing the podcast?
Am I giving my own little blurbof something?
I don't know?
And then so I'm finding excusesof I don't have time.
I only have time to talk andedit, and that's it.
Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy.
(14:07):
So when I read that I'm like,okay, to come out of my comfort
zone, I have to go into thatfear zone, and all three felt it
in my soul.
And even though I've done thisevent thing last year, I feel
like I'm going to get back intothat fear zone again with the
(14:27):
next one, because what I need todo is what I realized don't
think about it too much, justplan it and just do it.
After the fear zone is thelearning zone.
So the learning zone is you'redealing with challenges and
problems, you're acquiring,acquiring new skills.
(14:51):
And it says extend the comfortzone.
So you know it's not the fearzone, but you're learning and
you're in your and your problemsolving.
And yes, there's going to bechallenges and but I guess
you're overcoming it becauseyou're getting a little bit more
comfortable with things.
The growth zone oh, we all wantto be in this zone, we want to
(15:13):
live here.
It says you live your dreams,you're setting new goals and
you're realizing youraspirations.
Like, oh, my gosh, do we allwant to get there, but damn, do
we have to go through somejourneys to get there.
And this is why people stay intheir comfort zone.
It makes complete, completesense why people stay in the
(15:35):
comfort zone.
You have to go to, like,through two other zones to get
to the growth zone.
It's not, and I was reading.
It says you know the journeyfrom the comfort zone to the
growth zone it's never going tobe the straightforward path.
You know there's going to besetbacks and you're going to
want to retreat back to yourcomfort zone and people may
(15:55):
retreat back to the comfort zone.
But that's what perseverancelooks like, even if we recoil or
we take some time, like, okay,I need to put a pause on this.
We have to persevere and wehave to keep going because, man,
I bet that growth zone is likeso fun, so, so fun.
And that's what we need to dothis year.
(16:16):
If any of us are in our comfortzones and there's something in
our hearts that we really wantto do, but we're like terrified,
we got to persevere and,despite our fears, we got to do
it.
We got to do it because growingis the goal, guys, like I think
(16:36):
people think happiness, youknow happy, and emotions come
and go, but growing.
I feel like we're always goingto be growing and that's
exciting because with growth islearning new things and
experiencing new situations, andit sounds scary as hell, but
I'm here for it, guys.
I'm here for it and I hopethere's some of you out there
(16:58):
that are here for it too, so wecan do this together and give
each other pointers and cheerfor each other.
I found out there's four things,the benefits of coming out of
your comfort zone.
The first one is self-integrityand self-efficacy, and I had
asked Phillip how to pronouncethat word.
I'm like I don't know how topronounce.
(17:18):
Listen, I'm smart in a lot ofways, but I didn't know how to
pronounce efficacy.
So it says self-integrityrefers to people's view of
themselves as morally andadaptively adequate.
Having self-integrity isempowering.
Overcoming a challenge outsideof one's comfort zone rather
(17:39):
than avoiding it can strengthenself-integrity as people attain
greater competence andconfidence and navigating
uncertainty and unpredictability.
Although going outside one'scomfort zone may be stressful,
it is unlikely to be as adverseas people imagine it will be.
Self-efficacy refers to thebelief that one has the skills
(18:03):
necessary to do a task.
By pushing beyond our limits,we realize we are capable of
more and can thrive inchallenging circumstances.
My gosh, that sounds like fun.
Next is growth mindset.
Oh my gosh, that's actually oneof my favorite things the
growth mindset versus the fixedmindset.
(18:25):
And I'm here to tell you.
There's people with fixedmindsets out there, and I for
one want to always have a growthmindset.
So someone with a growthmindset believes they can expand
their abilities through effortand practice.
The term was coined bypsychologist Carol Dweck, who
differentiated between a fixedmindset and a growth mindset.
(18:48):
People with a fixed mindsetbelieve they were dealt
particular cards in life, andthat is that I was born into
this and they feel sorry forthemselves and that's why they
weren't able to do yada, yada,yada, yada, yada.
It also says there is a ceilingto what they can achieve.
(19:10):
So trying new things isterrifying and pointless.
People with a growth mindsetbelieve they can change and grow
and expand.
This mindset gives us room totry new things.
So we are striving to begrowth-minded people.
A third benefit of coming out ofyour comfort zone is reduced
(19:31):
regret, so it says.
Research suggests that peopletend to regret the actions they
did not take rather than theactions they did, and they tend
to find excuses to miss many ofthe seemingly risky
opportunities in their lives forgrowth.
And I think I said in thebeginning that there were four
(19:52):
benefits, but there's actuallyfive.
So number four resilience andanti-fragility.
The practice of steppingoutside one's comfort zone
prepares them to deal withunpredictable life stressors.
The term anti-fragility wascoined by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
(20:13):
and refers to the ability togain strength from adversity.
Anti-fragility is beyondresilience or robustness.
He's quoted as saying theresilient resists shocks and
stays the same.
The anti-fragile gets better.
And number fiveself-actualization.
(20:35):
In short, this means achievingone's full potential.
People who go outside of theircomfort zone, may discover new
opportunities in theirenvironment and meet new people
to help them grow into the bestversions of themselves.
I like these benefits, I reallydo.
So now do we get there?
Now that we know these benefitsand know why we need to get out
(20:58):
of our comfort zones, how do weget there?
What steps do we take?
So I found a few differentlists and read a ton of
different ways to get out of ourcomfort zone, so I picked the
few that I liked the best, thatI want to try to not try that
(21:20):
I'm going to make an effort andbe more intentional with doing
to get out of my comfort zone.
So the first one surroundyourself with confident people.
Intentionally associating withconfident people and being in
their space challenges thesubconscious to take risks and
(21:43):
also helps to breed confidencein the minds of those who tend
to be timid and withdrawn.
Associative transformation isan immersive strategy that
engages the conscience andsubconscious dimensions of the
mind, which can lead to behaviormodification.
Okay, those are all very bigwords, but yeah, it's basically
(22:04):
what I get from this is by beingaround confident people, we are
going to learn from them and wewill transform, and that is the
truth, I know I come on hereand I rave about my husband,
phillip, and I just think he'sjust a wonderful person.
Just last night I was praisinghim and I don't think I've said
(22:29):
this to him before or maybe it'sbeen a long time because he was
so flattered and he's like, wow, you really think that about me
.
Thank you so much.
But he's one of the people inmy life that has helped me to
grow, because he is a veryconfident person and just
watching him build his practiceliterally from the ground up, he
(22:51):
just handles challenges withsuch I don't know like I don't
know what words to use just hedoesn't let those things stop
him.
He continues to keep going andovercomes and perseveres any
challenges that come his way,cause it's very, very it's a lot
(23:15):
and very stressful to have yourown business and to have a team
that you're leading and youhave patients and it's a lot.
And I was just telling him Iwould have quit a long time ago
and you're one of the peoplethat has helped me grow as a
person, cause watching you justkeep going and just having that
(23:40):
grind and that work ethic andthat to me is so admirable, and
so I just let him know and hewas very flattered.
He's like, really, and I'm like, yeah, man, maybe I just
haven't said it or it's been awhile, I don't know, but I have
grown because I have been aroundhim and he's extremely
(24:02):
confident.
So that is the truth.
And, of course, I do have someconfident friends.
I do have a few out there thatare very confident, and so I've
learned from them.
Just to just keep it moving.
Number two take it step by step.
Try and something new can feelextremely daunting.
What can make it even scarieris looking at people who have
(24:24):
been doing it for years andthinking you have to perform at
that same level upon starting Tocombat this.
Break down a new task orproject into several mini steps.
Focus on completing the firststep.
Share your work with your bestfriend and see what they think.
Go from.
There is what it says.
(24:44):
So baby steps, we don't have toget there right away, and I
think that's what we're soimpatient as humans.
We just wanna get to that levelthat you see so and so at Like
I should be there, but you don'tknow what they had to do to get
there.
And there's I don't know if anyof you have seen this, but
(25:06):
there's this thing online andit's two ladders and there's one
and I think there's like bigsteps in between one and then
the like baby steps in betweenanother and I forget the quote,
but it's the image of.
It's easier to take these babysteps than literally standing at
(25:27):
the bottom of the ladder tryingto get to that huge big step up
above.
I mean, it's so unrealistic.
So taking those baby steps toget to that top of the ladder is
the way to go, and anytime Ifeel like I just wanna get there
, I think of that image of theladders and just remind myself
(25:48):
baby steps, man, baby steps.
Everyone had to start somewhere.
Number four start small tocreate habits.
A good tip is to start withsmall steps, which we already
just talked about.
The brain is designed toconserve energy.
When the brain realizes thedemand for effort is not too big
, it is more easily willing toperform it.
(26:08):
When it succeeds, the rewardsystem is activated and this
triggers motivation.
When the brain feels motivated,it is easier to produce the
necessary changes in habits orimplement new actions.
So yeah, it's similar to numberthree, but also number four to
me is once you do those babysteps and your brain is telling
(26:32):
you wow, you did it.
And it's motivation like that'swhen you create these habits.
So for me, this year, I wannabe diligent.
I want to stop making excuses.
Be very diligent.
Create these habits of notprocrastinating, just doing it,
just get the idea and do thedamn thing.
(26:53):
Number five evaluate your risktolerance.
There are two ways to approachthis.
One way is to jump right intoit and go all in and listen.
I admire people that can justjump all in.
It's impressive and it makes mewant to crap in my pants to
even think about jumping all in.
(27:14):
Forget the baby steps, just goin there and hope that you swim.
The second way is to take smallsteps forward and ease into it.
Before you decide which of thetwo approaches will work best
for you, I think I've alreadydecided Begin by evaluating your
risk tolerance, setting up asupport system and understanding
which of the two approacheswill yield a higher level of
(27:37):
stick with it-ness stick withit-ness for you.
What am I missing that I amscared just to jump in Even?
I mean, I imagine myself likeeven going to a pool and if it's
cold, I'm not the kind thatjust jumps right in Like some
(27:58):
people they just get it overwith.
I'm the one that goes to thestairs and tips me my toes in
there, and then my foot, andthen the bottom half of my legs,
and then my knees, and then mythighs, and then, and then
actually, now that I'm thinkingabout it, that's exactly how I
go into a pool if I think it'scold.
(28:18):
And then, once it hits my chest, then it's like all right,
let's dunk down.
But it took me all those littlesteps.
Gosh, that's torture.
Now that I'm thinking about it,that is torture to go in so
slowly.
Maybe the people that arejumping in are a little bit
smarter than me.
I don't know.
I don't know something to thinkabout.
Number six train your fearlessmuscle.
(28:41):
Ooh, let's see how we can dothat.
Coming out of your comfort zoneis always scary, is what the
step says.
The only way to become good atit is to do it often.
It's like training a muscle themore you use it, the stronger
you become.
The more you face your fear ofdoing unfamiliar things, the
easier it will become.
(29:01):
Um, yeah, that's easier saidthan done.
Listen, we don't want to faceour fears.
Then if we were so gung-ho andso like, yes, let's face our
fears and we would be doing it,we wouldn't need these articles.
So I like that one, but thatone to me is easier said than
(29:23):
done.
Number seven remember what youwant to achieve.
If you are really passionateabout growing your business and
career and, for example, knowthat you need to network more to
achieve this, there's no gainin remaining in your comfort
zone.
Keep your accomplishments atthe forefront of your mind to
make sure you feel worthy andconfident enough to step out.
(29:44):
So to me, that's what's yourwhy?
What is your why behind doingwhat you are wanting to do?
We all have a why.
I think some of us are more intune with it than others.
Some of us don't want to faceit because we don't want to come
out of our comfort zone.
So we rather just tellourselves, well, maybe it wasn't
(30:06):
meant to be, and again come upwith excuses.
So remember what you want toachieve.
Number eight engage in gradualexposure practice.
So this one says try engagingin gradual exposure practice by
taking small steps towards yourgoal.
For example, if you fear publicspeaking, try speaking up in a
(30:26):
small group discussions first.
Every time you face your fear,your brain records the evidence
of success and weakens theneural pathways associated with
fear in the situation.
Think about gradual exposure asa vaccine that boosts your
mental immunity and fearresilience.
So just keep doing.
(30:47):
Just keeps women, just keepswomen.
Next, make the objective worthyof your discomfort.
Focus on why you want to takethe action in the first place.
So imagine delivering apresentation.
If your objective is to get itright, you'll be derailed at the
slightest hiccup.
If, instead, your objective,the presentation is to help save
(31:08):
lives, for example, you'll stayfocused on what's important,
even when you're uncomfortable.
Make the objective worthy ofyour discomfort.
So for me, with Virago, evenwhen I feel uncomfortable, I
feel so strongly led to doingthis and so strongly led to
(31:30):
connecting women.
I've said before I don't knowhow the journey looks.
I just know that I'm doing itand that's what keeps me going.
Until something inside me tellsme that I need to stop, I'm
gonna keep going.
So I do like that one.
That one's a good one.
Remind yourself why you'redoing it.
(31:51):
The next one is find a rolemodel to emulate.
Think of someone who is afraidof nothing, in whom you admire.
Then act as you think theywould.
No amount of motivationalsayings to pump yourself up is
ever going to act as a catapult.
You've just got to step in, doit, see yourself doing it, learn
from it, win from it and keepgoing rock.
(32:14):
It's okay to take baby stepsand dip a toe in, but once that
toe gets acclimated, go for it.
So I've already told you who myrole model is when it comes to
fearlessness and confidence.
That's Felipe Talle.
And the last one that I likedwas acknowledge your fear.
Often people get overwhelmedwhen stepping out of their
(32:37):
comfort zone, so it's importantfor them to ensure they stay in
the uncomfortable learning zonewithout pushing themselves into
the terror zone.
An actual step is to firstadmit when you're afraid.
Acknowledging fear immediatelyallows you to become fully
present and focus on taking onlythe next few steps.
(33:00):
So we have learned that there'sa comfort zone, a fear zone, a
learning zone and a growth zone.
We've learned the benefits ofcoming out of our comfort zone
and we learned what steps weneed to take to come out of it.
(33:23):
So let's stop overthinking andlet's just freaking.
Do it.
I've been an overthinker man foryears and I made so many
excuses why I couldn't dosomething.
And I'm just done.
I'm done sitting back andwatching everyone else do the
(33:45):
damn thing, and me still kind of, you know, like yeah, I've come
out of my comfort zone, butthen I get comfortable and then
I'm afraid to come out of thatcomfort zone.
It's like a vicious cycle.
I don't know if it's ever gonnaend.
But it's just funny how weforget that we have already come
out of comfort zones before.
(34:06):
It's like maybe as women, whenwe have a baby, we forget all
the pain and then we'll do itagain, like it's like one of
those things our brains areweird that way where we know
we've overcome some crap.
I'm done.
I'm done with all of that.
We've all have come so far.
We've all come out of comfortzones.
(34:27):
We've all come so far and we'veall, at some point in our lives
, have been pushed out of ourcomfort zone, all of it.
And we're still here and we'rebreathing and we're all living
(34:47):
to tell all about it, whichmeans we've overcome it and
we've persevered, so we've doneit.
Remember that.
We have to remember that.
So I want to push myself thisyear, even when it's scary and
even when I don't know theroadmap where it is all of the
(35:09):
details.
There's so much within us thatwe have yet to tap into.
I don't want to do this alone,guys.
I need one or two or three, orall of you out there to come
alongside me to get out of ourcomfort zones.
I'm excited for 2024.
(35:30):
This is our growth year.
I can feel it.
I can feel it.
It's a restart.
That's what my 13 year old saidit's a restart.
I'll leave you all with thisquote I want to get more
comfortable being uncomfortable.
I want to get more confidentbeing uncertain.
(35:52):
I don't want to shrink backjust because something isn't
easy.
I want to push back and makemore room in the area between I
can't and I can.
I'll see you all next week.
We did another Men of Viragothis past weekend, so look
(36:18):
forward to that show next weekwith the Men.
All.
Right Bye.
Thank you so much for listeningto Virago 24-7.
If you haven't done so already,go ahead and hit that subscribe
button and please give us fivestar ratings.
(36:38):
Also, don't forget to follow uson Instagram at Virago 24
underscore seven, and onFacebook at Virago 24 slash
seven, and just connect with usand share your story.
We would love to hear from you.
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