February 8, 2024 • 39 mins
I never thought I'd find myself back in the trenches of dental practice management, yet here I am, sharing the unexpected twists of my 2024. My journey this year is a tapestry of work and leisure. As I reflect on my experience with working with my husband in his dental practice, and the unique managerial challenges it brought, I'm considering dusting off my leadership hat. Join me in unraveling the threads of valuing time and the nuanced dance of stepping back into a role I thought I had left behind.
Life's a little like ice skating—sometimes you glide smoothly, other times you take a tumble. But just as my daughter, Korynn, has shown through her passion for the rink, perseverance leads to growth. This episode sees me weaving through Stephen R. Covey's Seven Cardinal Rules of Life and shedding the weight of emotional baggage. It's about releasing the anchors of the past to sail into the present, a journey toward alignment and living with intention. Hear about the personal transformations that have shaped not just my approach to business but my entire outlook on life.
We round off this heartfelt conversation by pondering the true essence of happiness. It's a tale of how releasing negative emotions and the burdens of anger and resentment can lead to inner peace. I talk about the empowerment found in embracing one's unique journey, free from the shackles of comparison. Discover the clarity that comes with alignment, and the courage to let go of what doesn't serve in order to welcome what does. So, lend me your ears, your hearts, and maybe a little bit of your time, for a chat that promises to leave you pondering your own path to fulfillment.
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Everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors!
Music by Deli Rowe: "Space to Move"
Logo by Kaylin Talley
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, I am your host, leigh Annette Talley, and you
are listening to Virago 24-7.
Virago is Latin for femalewarrior and 24-7 is for all day,
every day.
Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcastthat brings diverse women
together to talk about life andour experiences in this world.
We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage,
(00:24):
children, friendships and reallyanything that needs to be
talked about.
Here you will find everydaygrowth, everyday healing with
everyday warriors.
Hey you, how's it going?
(00:47):
Happy February.
I hope your January and your2024 is going well.
So far, it's pretty balancedbetween being busy and having
some downtime on the weekends,which is wonderful, wonderful,
wonderful.
(01:07):
Yeah, I kept seeing memes onthe internet about January
having like 84 days or somethinglike that, so it felt fast and
long at the same time, if thatmakes sense.
But so far so good.
(01:29):
As you all know, I workpart-time at our dental practice
and I left there in 2020, and Itold myself that I'm not going
back.
I'm going to start a podcast,I'm going to do me, I got things
(01:52):
to do, I have dreams to conquer, and that was going to be
Philip's thing and we were goingto part ways business wise.
Then I think it was 2022, I wasasked to come help because the
(02:16):
office needed some help, and soI said you know what I could do
that for you, I can go in for aweek and help clean things up.
I mean, it's not going tohappen in a week, but I can get
things started and so I came inthat week.
Mind you, this was not Philipasking me to come back.
(02:36):
This was manager number twothat had asked me to come back.
He had a manager previously tothat and this was manager number
two.
So she asked me to come in andhelp and I did, and then, after
that week, I said it was mypleasure helping.
Good luck in Godspeed, and thatfollowing week she's asking me
(03:02):
please come back, and I said youknow what I can.
However, I gave you a week ofmy time for free and I gladly
did it.
However, moving forward, mytime is precious and I'm
learning that my time isvaluable and I need to be
(03:24):
compensated, so I need to be puton the payroll.
And, for those who don't know,innovative Smalls has been our
practice, for it was ourpractice for about 15 years and
we decided to sell it to adental company that comes in and
(03:46):
buys practices privatepractices and in 2020, this
backtrack.
In 2020, it was January that wewere approached by two different
companies and Philip never,ever, ever, ever, ever wanted,
(04:07):
ever, wanted to sell.
He was happy being the owner,but around that time I
personally was like you knowwhat I'm going to stick with
Innovative Smalls for a fewmonths, but I need to, just for
my peace of mind, I need tobreak away because it started to
(04:28):
become very emotionally justnot healthy for me and we'll get
to that later.
But so, ironically, we getapproached by two companies and
Philip was seriously thinkingabout it, because when you own a
company, it is.
It could be very draining withall the behind the scenes stuff
(04:50):
as far as, like, paying bills,payroll like, like so many
things that you just don't thinkabout that have to get done.
Taxes, obviously, we all haveto do it, but you know, as a
business that's just keeping upwith the latest things and
workers comp, you know, filingthings like that I had to do.
(05:11):
It was it's a lot.
So we strongly considered itand we were starting to meet
with both companies when COVIDhit right, and so that gave us
time to really think about whatdo we really want to do and we
had long conversations, hard ofhearts, and so we decided to
(05:34):
pull the plug, picked a companyand it became theirs the end of
July of 2020.
So, yes, we are there, and forsome of you here in this for the
first time, that may bepatients.
Now you know, and the point ofit is like nothing should change
.
The name shouldn't change, thedoctors shouldn't change,
(05:55):
because they have to sign acontract in order to receive
their money and it gives anincentive to do well and to stay
there.
So we I mean it's not anythingthat we advertised, but it's not
also anything that was a secret, it's just we continued on.
(06:15):
The only difference is that wewere not the owners anymore.
So that's why I left and thenthat's why he, on his second,
having his second manager, shewas overwhelmed.
She asked me to come in.
I said I need to get on payroll.
She made it happen and there Iwas.
Then she left.
(06:39):
Many reasons why one of them iswe started to see that she was
not very competent in theposition, couldn't handle it,
didn't know what she was doing,very sneaky here, and then she
actually left on her own, butwith a lot of pressure from
Philip Talley, dr Talley, andthen didn't have a manager for
(07:00):
the longest and then we decidedto hire from within.
So one of our assistants whowanted to work up front and
learn the front side of things,I was the one that was like you
need to do it.
You've been with us for a verylong time, you know what he
needs and what he likes, so shecame into that position.
(07:22):
Unfortunately it didn't workout.
I don't know for personalreasons, she had to leave the
practice.
I don't know if it was that shebecame overwhelmed, I don't
know, but it was very sad to seeher go, very, very sad.
And then we got another managerlast year and kind of same
(07:44):
situation, just maybe notworking out.
And then personal things.
You know, everyone has theirpersonal things that that come
up, that are sometimes out ofour control.
And so we come into the newyear of 2024 and I decided well,
(08:06):
since we don't have a manager,I, if it's okay, because there's
someone above the managers.
She's over seven practices andshe's, you know, she comes
alongside Philip and helps guidehim.
And so I approached her and Isaid listen, I can be the
manager temporarily until youall find somebody.
(08:29):
And her face lit up.
She's like, really, I'm like,yeah, but Philip doesn't think
it's a good idea.
And she's like, well, why?
And I was like, well, you know,he doesn't want me to get
sucked back in.
You know, it's different for meto be here part-time and just
come in a few hours a weekversus, you know, being a
manager and coming back in,managing, and he doesn't want to
(08:50):
take away from, you know, mytime with the podcast and the
kids and just having thatflexibility to come and go as I
need to.
So we need to convince him.
So, literally that day wetalked to him.
We told him it was gonna bewonderful, it was gonna be great
, it's gonna be fine, we'regonna be okay.
And so then, as of early thisyear, I became the manager.
(09:17):
It feels like it's been morethan a month, but it's only been
a month that I am in this roleagain and it's a little
different and the way that itwas before it's way different
than how it was before.
It was highly stressed out.
A lot of the team that we hadhad become like family, and with
(09:38):
family you argue, you bicker,and I know it's a business
setting, but that's how itbecame and it became hard to
manage people that you hung outwith outside of the practice and
you know like it became kind ofblurred.
The lines became blurred and Iwas highly emotional at that
(10:03):
time.
I could get sucked in easilyinto other people's drama or
just kind of feel their pain andtake it on as my own.
And this time around it's sodifferent.
Doing this podcast has been sucha blessing for me.
Talking and talking and talkingabout certain topics you know
(10:29):
on, you know on the podcast andoff the podcast.
Like anytime I've had people onthe show.
We're talking beforehand, we'retalking during and then we're
talking after, and just it'sbeen so therapeutic for me in
reading certain books thatpeople suggest and and just this
growth that I have had in thepast three and a half years.
(10:53):
It's been.
I feel it in my soul, I feel it, and so this time around I'm
more relaxed.
I'm like you guys take your timefinding a manager.
I've got this, I've got thisand I get along so well with the
girls there.
There's a lot of new girls upfront and I'm so like, like I'm
(11:14):
not just saying this, thinkingthat they're going to listen to
this, because I don't even thinkthey even know.
I have a podcast.
Half of them don't, half ofthem don't but I really truly
feel, and I've been, even thoughI wasn't always in the practice
.
I've been a part of all thethings Innovative Smiles for the
past 17 years.
(11:34):
Is it crazy?
It's going to be 18 years.
Is it going to be 18 years yeah, it's going to be 18 years this
summer that that InnovativeSmiles has been around and I've
been a part of it every singlebit of the way, even if I wasn't
physically there.
And so I know that this teamthat we have especially the
(11:54):
girls at the front are the most,are the most competent and able
women that we've ever had inthe front.
We've always had like oneperson, you know, that was
really good at what they weredoing, and just like a few
people that it took them a whileto like to click, but this is a
(12:16):
team that everyone seems to getit.
Now, two of them are newer.
One actually just started today, but I feel it, I feel it in my
bones, I do, I do, I feel goodthings about it.
Catch me in a few months to seeif that's still true, but no,
I'm being very optimistic and soI'm telling you guys all this
(12:39):
to say that last week, phillipis like we're going to have
three interviews and I saidinterviews for which position?
Because we are looking for ahygienist as well.
He's like for the managerposition.
And I said really, three, huh,that was fast and that's
(13:01):
exciting and I never, ever,thought I would feel this way.
But I thought I want to do thisI can't believe I'm saying this
Something that I said that Iwould never come back to, like I
think I really use the wordsnever and they always say never,
saying never, and that's sotrue.
(13:23):
But I kind of felt a certainkind of way I'm like, really
Well, and he's like and I wantyou in the interviews because I,
you know, I want you to, youknow, fill them out and so that
we can pick the right one and,if you know, if one of them is
it.
And now I feel like I want myhat in the ring and that I, I
(13:44):
know what he needs and I knowwhat he wants.
And he just looked at me andhe's just like Lena, like I
don't want you.
I said I'm such a differentperson.
I handle things and situationsso differently than I ever have
in my whole entire life for thebetter, for the better.
And so here we are.
(14:05):
We're going to interview threepeople this week and we shall
see what comes of it.
But, like I said, I neverthought we would be here and I
said what is it about meinternally that's so different.
I feel at peace, I feel like Ishould be here, that I should be
(14:26):
leading this team, you know,coming alongside Phillip.
What is it that?
When I tell you, I felt fouryears ago like there were bricks
on my shoulders and bricks onmy chest and just a heaviness, a
heaviness of this is not mypurpose, this is not where I'm
(14:48):
meant to be, this is not it.
But what is it?
What is it for me?
It was this heaviness, a lot ofcrying, like big, big crocodile
tears.
At that time, and I say what isit?
So I'm sitting at an iceskating rink, right?
So I know Cren, in Octoberdecided she wants to take up ice
(15:12):
skating, and so, as a mother, Itry to just come alongside my
kids and whatever they wanna do,let's just try it, and if we
don't like it, then we don'thave to do it.
But at least we tried right.
And so she wants to take up iceskating.
So I said, wonderful, the girldidn't know how to ice skate,
(15:34):
she would hold onto the rail,but she wanted to learn.
I said, let's do this, we'restarting from scratch.
So we found a place.
Well, she found a place and sowe signed her up.
It's lessons, it's groupsetting, and then she can go
part of the package as she has acertain amount of days that she
can just go on her own duringopen skating, right.
And this girl has really takenup skating and really wants to
(15:58):
go all the time.
And she went from holding ontothis railing to being able to
skate backwards to now she'steaching herself, cause she's
not there yet, so she's YouTubey.
I think she's not at that levelyet, but she's trying to do
some spins.
And she went from basic one anddid basic two, for she just
(16:20):
started basic two in January andnow they're just straight
moving her, cause these lessonsare eight weeks long.
So she hasn't even made it pasttwo, three weeks and they're
already saying, hey, you'vegotten really good and you
should be in basic three.
So she's kind of skipped overbasic two and now in basic three
, and once you get to basic fourand graduate that then she can
(16:42):
join figure skating club, whichis so exciting for her, so that
she can learn all the cooltricks.
So I'm so happy that she'sfound something that she really,
really likes and really enjoys.
But, needless to say, there'stimes where I just drop her off
and there's times where I sitthere and I bring my coat and my
gloves and we're warm, warm,warm attire and I bring a little
(17:06):
cushion because, man, thosemetal seats get super cold.
So I bring my little cushion tosit on and I read and I try to
come up with ideas for thepodcast, or I just like,
sometimes I'm just scrolling,you know Facebook and stuff like
that.
So as I'm sitting there and I'mthinking to myself, man, I feel
(17:29):
like I need to be at thispractice.
But what is it?
What has happened to me?
What, what?
So I'm like looking at, youknow, life lessons.
I'm just, you know, I'll throwin some things in there and see
what pops up.
So I don't remember what IGoogled, but the seven Cardinal
Rules of Life by Stephen R Covey.
(17:50):
Stephen R Covey I'm sure forall you smart people, you guys
have heard of him, I hadn't andhe came up with these rules,
these, and they sound so simple.
When I read them I'm like, oh,these are so simple but damn,
these are so hard, these are sohard to do, Like when you're in
(18:10):
an emotional space, in a spacewhere your feelings and the past
and just things are just soheavy.
It is so hard To imagine notcarrying all this weight on you,
not carrying these burdens andthese feelings and these
thoughts.
It just weighs you down.
It really does.
I speak from experience.
(18:31):
I'm sure all of us can relate.
So simple, so I said I gottatalk about this.
I wanna share this.
Simple rules, so hard to do.
Let's get into it.
Number one and I'm reading causeI like to cite my sources, as a
good journalist would.
Okay, I'm not a journalist, I'mnot calling myself a journalist
(18:53):
, but I did go to school forjournalism and gosh, damn dude,
we have to cite a lot of thingswhen we wrote our papers.
However, betterhelpcom that'swhere I'm getting these rules
they're all over, but I'm gonnaread the little two cents that
they put in.
Number one is make peace withyour past so that it won't
(19:14):
disturb your present.
Now I read that one, and thatone, for me personally has been
the hardest thing to conquer.
But I can honestly say, sittinghere today talking to you, that
I have released it.
I look at the past and I don'tget angry, I don't get sad.
(19:39):
I mean I might get sad, youknow, thinking about my dad and
stuff, but anger was the word,the feeling that I would get,
thinking about the past likeanger and then sadness, and it
was all the time Like my pastweighed me down so much and
(20:00):
people might think, oh,leannette, you know people that
know us.
It was a wonderful childhood,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah.
You don't know me, you don'tlive my life, you didn't live my
life.
My life wasn't horrible, I'mnot saying that, but there were
certain aspects of it that werenot the best and it is what it
(20:23):
is.
But I don't look at it anymorewith anger, like I can honestly
say that and I would ruminate onthings, I would get angry about
it, and angry because I wantedto change it.
If I can go back in time, Iwould change this and this and
this, and I've had to let go ofthe fact that no one can change
(20:44):
the past.
It just is what it is and I'vehad to consciously, purposefully
, intentionally work on that andthat one was so, so hard, but
it really affected my present.
It really really did.
It affected how I thought aboutmyself, how I handled
(21:07):
situations with family members,with all of it.
And in betterhelpcom it sayshere are some points to consider
on this journey to letting go.
Forgive other people foroffenses or past mistakes.
Forgive yourself for yourmissteps.
(21:27):
Let painful memories fade bychoosing different thoughts.
Accept what has happened inyour life and make new
commitments each day.
Man, accept what has happenedin your life.
It has made you who you are.
And I think a lot of the timeswhen we look at the past and we
have that anger feeling, thatanger emotion, it's because we
(21:51):
wanna punish certain people thatwronged us.
We want them to hurt, we wantthem punished.
They need to know how we feeland what they've done to us.
And when I learned to let thatgo.
It doesn't mean that I letcertain people back into my life
, but I can be around them andnot hold on to this way.
(22:14):
I can be around them because itdoesn't affect me anymore.
It genuinely doesn't affect meanymore, and that was the
hardest thing Many tears, manybooks read, many conversations,
many prayers.
But I've let that go.
So now I can make room for newthings and I'm not approaching
(22:38):
people in situations the sameway, because I've let go of
those bricks.
Right, the liquor of my pastbreak.
Okay, it's gone.
I threw it away.
I don't even know where it went.
Number two what other peoplethink of you as none of your
business?
This one, um, I like,definitely love it.
(22:59):
I don't think I've had a hardtime with this one.
I think maybe obviously we allcare what people think to an
extent for me.
Some of us value other people'sopinions way more.
I think I was always built in away where I didn't always care.
I'm gonna do what I'm gonna doand I don't care what you're
(23:20):
gonna say.
Could be bad, could be good, Idon't know.
But I value the people aroundme.
I value constructive criticism.
I value when people come to mefrom a place of love and from a
place of.
I know they want my bestinterest.
That I don't think that fallsinto this category of.
(23:40):
Well, I don't care what Phillipthinks, or I don't care what my
best friend Adrian thinks.
Well, of course I do.
Why?
Because I love them and theylove me and they come from a
place of also balance.
They're balanced people.
I feel like this is for peoplethat are just bad mouthing you
that, yeah, maybe once upon atime they didn't know you and
(24:02):
you were friends, but nowthey're talking shit behind your
back.
I don't care, like I honestlydon't care, and you should not
either.
Okay, you shouldn't either.
So that's a good one, and notvery hard for me.
Number three time heals almosteverything.
Give it time.
Everyone knows the same timeheals all wounds.
(24:24):
And then I've heard people saywell, that's not true.
It says in the article you know, the best approach in life is
often to let things heal withoutinterference.
Life may seem difficult now,but by not dwelling on the past
you can often move forward andfind happiness.
While it can be essential toacknowledge painful and damaging
(24:45):
experiences from the past,healing tends to be more likely
when you do not let the pasttake over and remove your focus
from the present.
Sometimes, when we don't knowthe correct answer to your
problem or what to do about it,a successful approach can be to
pay attention to what makes usfeel better in the moment and
let time heal old wounds andthat I don't know.
(25:08):
It's hard to speak.
You know.
Only you know what woundsyou're trying to heal from.
I know a lot of us have deeperwounds than some others and
bigger wounds to heal from.
And I see you guys, I feel youand you can do this, you can
(25:31):
heal.
Number four no one is in chargeof your happiness except for you
.
And I'm starting to feel that,I'm starting to feel like, yes,
I can be in charge of my life.
Not that I didn't know thatbefore, but I didn't embrace it.
I didn't embrace it.
(25:52):
I used to have this mentalityof feeling stuck in my life and
in the past few years, justrealizing, no, I'm not, that's
just a cop out.
That's a cop out to stay in mycomfort zone.
You know.
Oh, I'm stuck, so I don't haveto make any moves, so I don't
have to feel uncomfortable anddo something about it.
(26:15):
You know.
So we are in charge of ourhappiness.
We really, really are.
And it's a lot of soulsearching you have to do.
You just have to know that shitwill happen.
I'm not saying, just becauseyou're in control of your life,
that things are always gonna beeasy, but it just feels, oh man,
(26:36):
like you're maneuvering.
You're in the driver's seat,you're not a passenger.
You know, a lot of us are goingthrough life just, oh, in the
back seat.
You're not even in thepassenger seat, you're in the
driver, you're in the back, inthe back back, thinking that
life is just, you know, drivingyou around and you don't have
any control.
No, we do, and that's why Ilike to drive on road trips.
(26:59):
Philip said in the passengerseat I got this, I like to be in
control of that.
But in the article it saysresearch has found that people
who believe they are in controlof their happiness are generally
more content in life thanpeople who think their feelings
of satisfaction rest in thehands of others.
(27:21):
We don't want people to controlour happiness.
No, no, no, no.
Number five avoid comparing yourlife to others and judging
others.
You have no idea what theirjourney is all about.
Man do.
I agree with this onewholeheartedly.
I don't compare my life toanyone, to be honest with you at
(27:43):
all, and you know I don't evenhave like these celebrities that
I'm just like I wish.
You know there's certain peoplethat I admire.
A lot of them is more for theirbusiness savviness.
I love Jennifer Lopez.
I know some of you might rollyour eyes, but I love her as far
as her business savviness andhow and her longevity, and also
(28:07):
she's Puerto Rican like me, soyou know, can't hate on that.
But Corinne the other day askedme if I would trade lives with
her and honestly I wouldn't.
I would not.
I would wanna pick her brain onhow she handles business and
how she's just stayed in thegame all these years, but no, I
(28:28):
wouldn't.
I really really wouldn't.
I think maybe in my early 20s,you know, I would get jealous of
people and compare my life tothem and wanna want what they
have.
There's no reason to compareLike make your life your own and
be proud of it and be happy forthose who are doing what you
(28:54):
admire.
You know, if you look atsomeone you're like oh, I want
what they have.
Well then you know, try toduplicate that in your own way,
cause we're all so different, weare all meant for something so
different in this world.
And comparing and trying tolike do something that wasn't
given to you, like that's not mygift, that's not my gift, that
(29:15):
was that was given, like if itwas supposed to be mine, then it
would have been given to me.
So stop comparing.
And you don't know.
And you don't know and you knowwhat.
Maybe that person is living awonderful life, but do you know
what they had to do to get tothat point, what they live
through to get to that point?
Or sometimes we are comparingourselves to people that are
(29:38):
miserable, because we're justseeing that outside and we're
seeing the flashiness of whothey are and they're live, but
but inside, if you go inside,you buy like run for the hills,
like holy shit, I don't want tobe, I don't want to be, I don't
want this life, I don't want herlife.
Stop it, guys.
(29:58):
Stop it.
Look within, look to see whatgift was given to you and
nourish that.
Nourish that and the article itsays.
Spending time judging behaviorand choices of other people may
also move you away from focusingon your own journey and
(30:19):
challenges, and we can nevertruly know what obstacles and
problems another person liveswith.
A more productive path may beto view each day as an
opportunity to celebrate who youare and what you have.
Choosing contentment andfocusing on the good in your
life can be powerful ways toovercome habits of comparison.
(30:41):
Little bits, ladies, littlebits and gents whoever listen.
Whatever gents listen.
Little baby bites.
Okay, stop comparing.
Number six stop overthinking.
It's all right if you don'tknow the answers.
They will come to you when youleast expect.
Oh, I know a lot of overthinkers.
(31:01):
All the ruminating and thenegative talk and the thoughts
and the thoughts and thoughts.
Listen, I'm a ruminator.
I was thinking about that whenI was reading this and I haven't
ruminated on something in awhile.
I would wake up in the middleof the night and ruminate on
crap that happened years ago,years ago.
(31:25):
And man, I haven't done that ina while and it just feels so
good that means I'm on the rightpath.
I gotta stick with it.
Gotta stick with it.
Keep reading these self-helpbooks.
They're really working for me.
And number seven smile.
You don't own all the problemsin the world.
(31:46):
There are things within yourcontrol and things outside of
your control.
When people or circumstancesare outside of your control,
recognizing this and not tryingto control the situation can
improve your mental well-being.
That one has been somethingthat Philip has drilled in my
(32:08):
head since I've met him and hewould.
Anytime a situation would comeup and I would get all riled up.
He would stop me, he wouldlisten and then he would stop me
and he's like is this somethingthat you can control?
And if the answer was yes, thenit's like all right, do you
want to come up with somesolutions for that?
(32:29):
Sure, let's do it.
Logic, man.
And if it was, is thissomething that you can control?
And if the answer was no, thenhe's like let it go, let it go.
If you can't control it, thenyou have to let it go, and
(32:50):
that's always been somethingthat he would throw out to me.
Sometimes I would catch it andreceive it very well, and other
times I'd like punching itbefore even got near me, just
punch it in the air.
It's like I don't need yourlogic right now, felipe, but but
it's so true, it's so true andeven today, like I, until this
(33:14):
day, I that's what I do I say isthere's something I can control
?
And if it is, let's dosomething about it.
And if not, let go and let God.
For real, for real, for real.
So when I read this list, itsounds so simple.
When you read it, when you read, just smile and don't compare
and let go of the past.
You know it's all these thingsthat we hear and quotes that we
(33:37):
read all about all seven ofthese.
But my goodness, I know it isso easier said than done, but it
is gonna change the way youinteract.
You're gonna feel lighter whenyou're dealing with difficult
people.
You're going to responddifferently.
(34:01):
My patience level is like oh mygosh, I have patience, thank the
Lord.
I've been asking for patiencefor what?
20 something years, 30something years, and he's giving
it to me.
I'm getting the patience.
I'm getting the patience.
(34:22):
It's quite exciting, actually.
So I read this and I said youknow what?
I have done so much internalwork to get to this place and
I've said it before, yes, Ididn't go to therapy and talk
this through with a therapist,but my friends are my therapist,
I'm my own therapist.
The books that I read, thepodcast like I don't know.
(34:45):
That's just the way I'm wired.
I just can learn through othersand use it and do it and and
just make it happen in my life.
And it's been very hard.
But here we are.
I'm in the same position I wasfour years ago as a manager and
(35:05):
I didn't want to ever come backbecause I was emotionally
fragile okay, fragile itemotionally and not knowing what
I wanted for myself.
And now fast forward almostfour years later, three and a
half years later, I am feelinglike I released a lot.
(35:29):
I feel light, I feel bright.
I read these things and I'mlike, damn, I'm on my way.
I've actually been able to doeach and every one of those
seven rules.
I would have never been able tosay that a few years ago and,
(35:50):
gosh, damn it.
I think I need to stay atinnovative smiles.
Oh, my gosh, what are we saying?
So pray for me, guys.
If it's not meant for me, thenyou know.
Maybe these three interviewswill be wonderful and one will
stand out and be the perfectmatch for innovative smiles and
Dr Phillip Talley.
(36:10):
But I feel in my heart thatit's meant for me.
So we shall see.
We shall see, as we say, atinnovative smiles, as the drill
turns.
I will update you on the nextepisode as a drill turns after I
watch it.
So here we are, guys, a month inJanuary, I was promoted, I was
(36:35):
put in a position to manage andlead and I feel at peace.
I feel at peace.
It's crazy, guys.
It's so crazy.
So, as always before I leave, Iwant to share something with
you, and it's not a quick quote.
(36:55):
It's not a quick, it's not aquick quote, but I thought it
was fitting for everything thatI'm feeling, all the clarity,
just all of this I don't know,man, I don't know if it's the
new year, I don't know what itis, but it feels good.
(37:16):
It feels good to feel light.
It feels good to feel light andall those bricks and all that
package I was carrying I'mtelling you they're gone.
There might be one littlepebble or two pebbles that I'm
still working on.
I'm not saying I'm perfect andthat I've conquered the world.
(37:37):
I'm not saying that, people,but I am a lot lighter.
So here, I'm gonna share thiswith you guys before I leave.
When something is for you, itwill bring clarity and alignment
to your life, not chaos andconfusion.
When something is for you, itwill not run or hide or avoid
(37:58):
being yours.
You do not have to chase afteranything or anyone.
When something is for you, youwon't feel the need to beg,
convince or force.
Things will feel easeful,grounded and safe.
When something is for you, itwill not make you question or
(38:21):
second guess your worth.
Instead, it will remind you howworthy and loved you truly are.
When something is for you, itwill feel healthy and supportive
, not toxic and destructive.
When something is for you,you'll know it.
Stop ignoring the signs.
(38:42):
Release what needs to bereleased so that you can receive
what needs to be received.
Love you guys.
See you next week.
Thank you so much for listeningto Virago 24 7.
(39:03):
If you haven't done so already,go ahead and hit that subscribe
button and please give us fivestar ratings.
Also, don't forget to follow uson Instagram at Virago 24
underscore 7, and on Facebook atVirago 24 slash 7, and just
connect with us and share yourstory.
(39:24):
We'd love to hear from you.
Hi, I am your host, leigh Annette Talley, and you
are listening to Virago 24-7.
Virago is Latin for femalewarrior and 24-7 is for all day,
every day.
Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcastthat brings diverse women
together to talk about life andour experiences in this world.
We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage,
(00:24):
children, friendships and reallyanything that needs to be
talked about.
Here you will find everydaygrowth, everyday healing with
everyday warriors.
Hey you, how's it going?
(00:47):
Happy February.
I hope your January and your2024 is going well.
So far, it's pretty balancedbetween being busy and having
some downtime on the weekends,which is wonderful, wonderful,
wonderful.
(01:07):
Yeah, I kept seeing memes onthe internet about January
having like 84 days or somethinglike that, so it felt fast and
long at the same time, if thatmakes sense.
But so far so good.
(01:29):
As you all know, I workpart-time at our dental practice
and I left there in 2020, and Itold myself that I'm not going
back.
I'm going to start a podcast,I'm going to do me, I got things
(01:52):
to do, I have dreams to conquer, and that was going to be
Philip's thing and we were goingto part ways business wise.
Then I think it was 2022, I wasasked to come help because the
(02:16):
office needed some help, and soI said you know what I could do
that for you, I can go in for aweek and help clean things up.
I mean, it's not going tohappen in a week, but I can get
things started and so I came inthat week.
Mind you, this was not Philipasking me to come back.
(02:36):
This was manager number twothat had asked me to come back.
He had a manager previously tothat and this was manager number
two.
So she asked me to come in andhelp and I did, and then, after
that week, I said it was mypleasure helping.
Good luck in Godspeed, and thatfollowing week she's asking me
(03:02):
please come back, and I said youknow what I can.
However, I gave you a week ofmy time for free and I gladly
did it.
However, moving forward, mytime is precious and I'm
learning that my time isvaluable and I need to be
(03:24):
compensated, so I need to be puton the payroll.
And, for those who don't know,innovative Smalls has been our
practice, for it was ourpractice for about 15 years and
we decided to sell it to adental company that comes in and
(03:46):
buys practices privatepractices and in 2020, this
backtrack.
In 2020, it was January that wewere approached by two different
companies and Philip never,ever, ever, ever, ever wanted,
(04:07):
ever, wanted to sell.
He was happy being the owner,but around that time I
personally was like you knowwhat I'm going to stick with
Innovative Smalls for a fewmonths, but I need to, just for
my peace of mind, I need tobreak away because it started to
(04:28):
become very emotionally justnot healthy for me and we'll get
to that later.
But so, ironically, we getapproached by two companies and
Philip was seriously thinkingabout it, because when you own a
company, it is.
It could be very draining withall the behind the scenes stuff
(04:50):
as far as, like, paying bills,payroll like, like so many
things that you just don't thinkabout that have to get done.
Taxes, obviously, we all haveto do it, but you know, as a
business that's just keeping upwith the latest things and
workers comp, you know, filingthings like that I had to do.
(05:11):
It was it's a lot.
So we strongly considered itand we were starting to meet
with both companies when COVIDhit right, and so that gave us
time to really think about whatdo we really want to do and we
had long conversations, hard ofhearts, and so we decided to
(05:34):
pull the plug, picked a companyand it became theirs the end of
July of 2020.
So, yes, we are there, and forsome of you here in this for the
first time, that may bepatients.
Now you know, and the point ofit is like nothing should change
.
The name shouldn't change, thedoctors shouldn't change,
(05:55):
because they have to sign acontract in order to receive
their money and it gives anincentive to do well and to stay
there.
So we I mean it's not anythingthat we advertised, but it's not
also anything that was a secret, it's just we continued on.
(06:15):
The only difference is that wewere not the owners anymore.
So that's why I left and thenthat's why he, on his second,
having his second manager, shewas overwhelmed.
She asked me to come in.
I said I need to get on payroll.
She made it happen and there Iwas.
Then she left.
(06:39):
Many reasons why one of them iswe started to see that she was
not very competent in theposition, couldn't handle it,
didn't know what she was doing,very sneaky here, and then she
actually left on her own, butwith a lot of pressure from
Philip Talley, dr Talley, andthen didn't have a manager for
(07:00):
the longest and then we decidedto hire from within.
So one of our assistants whowanted to work up front and
learn the front side of things,I was the one that was like you
need to do it.
You've been with us for a verylong time, you know what he
needs and what he likes, so shecame into that position.
(07:22):
Unfortunately it didn't workout.
I don't know for personalreasons, she had to leave the
practice.
I don't know if it was that shebecame overwhelmed, I don't
know, but it was very sad to seeher go, very, very sad.
And then we got another managerlast year and kind of same
(07:44):
situation, just maybe notworking out.
And then personal things.
You know, everyone has theirpersonal things that that come
up, that are sometimes out ofour control.
And so we come into the newyear of 2024 and I decided well,
(08:06):
since we don't have a manager,I, if it's okay, because there's
someone above the managers.
She's over seven practices andshe's, you know, she comes
alongside Philip and helps guidehim.
And so I approached her and Isaid listen, I can be the
manager temporarily until youall find somebody.
(08:29):
And her face lit up.
She's like, really, I'm like,yeah, but Philip doesn't think
it's a good idea.
And she's like, well, why?
And I was like, well, you know,he doesn't want me to get
sucked back in.
You know, it's different for meto be here part-time and just
come in a few hours a weekversus, you know, being a
manager and coming back in,managing, and he doesn't want to
(08:50):
take away from, you know, mytime with the podcast and the
kids and just having thatflexibility to come and go as I
need to.
So we need to convince him.
So, literally that day wetalked to him.
We told him it was gonna bewonderful, it was gonna be great
, it's gonna be fine, we'regonna be okay.
And so then, as of early thisyear, I became the manager.
(09:17):
It feels like it's been morethan a month, but it's only been
a month that I am in this roleagain and it's a little
different and the way that itwas before it's way different
than how it was before.
It was highly stressed out.
A lot of the team that we hadhad become like family, and with
(09:38):
family you argue, you bicker,and I know it's a business
setting, but that's how itbecame and it became hard to
manage people that you hung outwith outside of the practice and
you know like it became kind ofblurred.
The lines became blurred and Iwas highly emotional at that
(10:03):
time.
I could get sucked in easilyinto other people's drama or
just kind of feel their pain andtake it on as my own.
And this time around it's sodifferent.
Doing this podcast has been sucha blessing for me.
Talking and talking and talkingabout certain topics you know
(10:29):
on, you know on the podcast andoff the podcast.
Like anytime I've had people onthe show.
We're talking beforehand, we'retalking during and then we're
talking after, and just it'sbeen so therapeutic for me in
reading certain books thatpeople suggest and and just this
growth that I have had in thepast three and a half years.
(10:53):
It's been.
I feel it in my soul, I feel it, and so this time around I'm
more relaxed.
I'm like you guys take your timefinding a manager.
I've got this, I've got thisand I get along so well with the
girls there.
There's a lot of new girls upfront and I'm so like, like I'm
(11:14):
not just saying this, thinkingthat they're going to listen to
this, because I don't even thinkthey even know.
I have a podcast.
Half of them don't, half ofthem don't but I really truly
feel, and I've been, even thoughI wasn't always in the practice
.
I've been a part of all thethings Innovative Smiles for the
past 17 years.
(11:34):
Is it crazy?
It's going to be 18 years.
Is it going to be 18 years yeah, it's going to be 18 years this
summer that that InnovativeSmiles has been around and I've
been a part of it every singlebit of the way, even if I wasn't
physically there.
And so I know that this teamthat we have especially the
(11:54):
girls at the front are the most,are the most competent and able
women that we've ever had inthe front.
We've always had like oneperson, you know, that was
really good at what they weredoing, and just like a few
people that it took them a whileto like to click, but this is a
(12:16):
team that everyone seems to getit.
Now, two of them are newer.
One actually just started today, but I feel it, I feel it in my
bones, I do, I do, I feel goodthings about it.
Catch me in a few months to seeif that's still true, but no,
I'm being very optimistic and soI'm telling you guys all this
(12:39):
to say that last week, phillipis like we're going to have
three interviews and I saidinterviews for which position?
Because we are looking for ahygienist as well.
He's like for the managerposition.
And I said really, three, huh,that was fast and that's
(13:01):
exciting and I never, ever,thought I would feel this way.
But I thought I want to do thisI can't believe I'm saying this
Something that I said that Iwould never come back to, like I
think I really use the wordsnever and they always say never,
saying never, and that's sotrue.
(13:23):
But I kind of felt a certainkind of way I'm like, really
Well, and he's like and I wantyou in the interviews because I,
you know, I want you to, youknow, fill them out and so that
we can pick the right one and,if you know, if one of them is
it.
And now I feel like I want myhat in the ring and that I, I
(13:44):
know what he needs and I knowwhat he wants.
And he just looked at me andhe's just like Lena, like I
don't want you.
I said I'm such a differentperson.
I handle things and situationsso differently than I ever have
in my whole entire life for thebetter, for the better.
And so here we are.
(14:05):
We're going to interview threepeople this week and we shall
see what comes of it.
But, like I said, I neverthought we would be here and I
said what is it about meinternally that's so different.
I feel at peace, I feel like Ishould be here, that I should be
(14:26):
leading this team, you know,coming alongside Phillip.
What is it that?
When I tell you, I felt fouryears ago like there were bricks
on my shoulders and bricks onmy chest and just a heaviness, a
heaviness of this is not mypurpose, this is not where I'm
(14:48):
meant to be, this is not it.
But what is it?
What is it for me?
It was this heaviness, a lot ofcrying, like big, big crocodile
tears.
At that time, and I say what isit?
So I'm sitting at an iceskating rink, right?
So I know Cren, in Octoberdecided she wants to take up ice
(15:12):
skating, and so, as a mother, Itry to just come alongside my
kids and whatever they wanna do,let's just try it, and if we
don't like it, then we don'thave to do it.
But at least we tried right.
And so she wants to take up iceskating.
So I said, wonderful, the girldidn't know how to ice skate,
(15:34):
she would hold onto the rail,but she wanted to learn.
I said, let's do this, we'restarting from scratch.
So we found a place.
Well, she found a place and sowe signed her up.
It's lessons, it's groupsetting, and then she can go
part of the package as she has acertain amount of days that she
can just go on her own duringopen skating, right.
And this girl has really takenup skating and really wants to
(15:58):
go all the time.
And she went from holding ontothis railing to being able to
skate backwards to now she'steaching herself, cause she's
not there yet, so she's YouTubey.
I think she's not at that levelyet, but she's trying to do
some spins.
And she went from basic one anddid basic two, for she just
(16:20):
started basic two in January andnow they're just straight
moving her, cause these lessonsare eight weeks long.
So she hasn't even made it pasttwo, three weeks and they're
already saying, hey, you'vegotten really good and you
should be in basic three.
So she's kind of skipped overbasic two and now in basic three
, and once you get to basic fourand graduate that then she can
(16:42):
join figure skating club, whichis so exciting for her, so that
she can learn all the cooltricks.
So I'm so happy that she'sfound something that she really,
really likes and really enjoys.
But, needless to say, there'stimes where I just drop her off
and there's times where I sitthere and I bring my coat and my
gloves and we're warm, warm,warm attire and I bring a little
(17:06):
cushion because, man, thosemetal seats get super cold.
So I bring my little cushion tosit on and I read and I try to
come up with ideas for thepodcast, or I just like,
sometimes I'm just scrolling,you know Facebook and stuff like
that.
So as I'm sitting there and I'mthinking to myself, man, I feel
(17:29):
like I need to be at thispractice.
But what is it?
What has happened to me?
What, what?
So I'm like looking at, youknow, life lessons.
I'm just, you know, I'll throwin some things in there and see
what pops up.
So I don't remember what IGoogled, but the seven Cardinal
Rules of Life by Stephen R Covey.
(17:50):
Stephen R Covey I'm sure forall you smart people, you guys
have heard of him, I hadn't andhe came up with these rules,
these, and they sound so simple.
When I read them I'm like, oh,these are so simple but damn,
these are so hard, these are sohard to do, Like when you're in
(18:10):
an emotional space, in a spacewhere your feelings and the past
and just things are just soheavy.
It is so hard To imagine notcarrying all this weight on you,
not carrying these burdens andthese feelings and these
thoughts.
It just weighs you down.
It really does.
I speak from experience.
(18:31):
I'm sure all of us can relate.
So simple, so I said I gottatalk about this.
I wanna share this.
Simple rules, so hard to do.
Let's get into it.
Number one and I'm reading causeI like to cite my sources, as a
good journalist would.
Okay, I'm not a journalist, I'mnot calling myself a journalist
(18:53):
, but I did go to school forjournalism and gosh, damn dude,
we have to cite a lot of thingswhen we wrote our papers.
However, betterhelpcom that'swhere I'm getting these rules
they're all over, but I'm gonnaread the little two cents that
they put in.
Number one is make peace withyour past so that it won't
(19:14):
disturb your present.
Now I read that one, and thatone, for me personally has been
the hardest thing to conquer.
But I can honestly say, sittinghere today talking to you, that
I have released it.
I look at the past and I don'tget angry, I don't get sad.
(19:39):
I mean I might get sad, youknow, thinking about my dad and
stuff, but anger was the word,the feeling that I would get,
thinking about the past likeanger and then sadness, and it
was all the time Like my pastweighed me down so much and
(20:00):
people might think, oh,leannette, you know people that
know us.
It was a wonderful childhood,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah.
You don't know me, you don'tlive my life, you didn't live my
life.
My life wasn't horrible, I'mnot saying that, but there were
certain aspects of it that werenot the best and it is what it
(20:23):
is.
But I don't look at it anymorewith anger, like I can honestly
say that and I would ruminate onthings, I would get angry about
it, and angry because I wantedto change it.
If I can go back in time, Iwould change this and this and
this, and I've had to let go ofthe fact that no one can change
(20:44):
the past.
It just is what it is and I'vehad to consciously, purposefully
, intentionally work on that andthat one was so, so hard, but
it really affected my present.
It really really did.
It affected how I thought aboutmyself, how I handled
(21:07):
situations with family members,with all of it.
And in betterhelpcom it sayshere are some points to consider
on this journey to letting go.
Forgive other people foroffenses or past mistakes.
Forgive yourself for yourmissteps.
(21:27):
Let painful memories fade bychoosing different thoughts.
Accept what has happened inyour life and make new
commitments each day.
Man, accept what has happenedin your life.
It has made you who you are.
And I think a lot of the timeswhen we look at the past and we
have that anger feeling, thatanger emotion, it's because we
(21:51):
wanna punish certain people thatwronged us.
We want them to hurt, we wantthem punished.
They need to know how we feeland what they've done to us.
And when I learned to let thatgo.
It doesn't mean that I letcertain people back into my life
, but I can be around them andnot hold on to this way.
(22:14):
I can be around them because itdoesn't affect me anymore.
It genuinely doesn't affect meanymore, and that was the
hardest thing Many tears, manybooks read, many conversations,
many prayers.
But I've let that go.
So now I can make room for newthings and I'm not approaching
(22:38):
people in situations the sameway, because I've let go of
those bricks.
Right, the liquor of my pastbreak.
Okay, it's gone.
I threw it away.
I don't even know where it went.
Number two what other peoplethink of you as none of your
business?
This one, um, I like,definitely love it.
(22:59):
I don't think I've had a hardtime with this one.
I think maybe obviously we allcare what people think to an
extent for me.
Some of us value other people'sopinions way more.
I think I was always built in away where I didn't always care.
I'm gonna do what I'm gonna doand I don't care what you're
(23:20):
gonna say.
Could be bad, could be good, Idon't know.
But I value the people aroundme.
I value constructive criticism.
I value when people come to mefrom a place of love and from a
place of.
I know they want my bestinterest.
That I don't think that fallsinto this category of.
(23:40):
Well, I don't care what Phillipthinks, or I don't care what my
best friend Adrian thinks.
Well, of course I do.
Why?
Because I love them and theylove me and they come from a
place of also balance.
They're balanced people.
I feel like this is for peoplethat are just bad mouthing you
that, yeah, maybe once upon atime they didn't know you and
(24:02):
you were friends, but nowthey're talking shit behind your
back.
I don't care, like I honestlydon't care, and you should not
either.
Okay, you shouldn't either.
So that's a good one, and notvery hard for me.
Number three time heals almosteverything.
Give it time.
Everyone knows the same timeheals all wounds.
(24:24):
And then I've heard people saywell, that's not true.
It says in the article you know, the best approach in life is
often to let things heal withoutinterference.
Life may seem difficult now,but by not dwelling on the past
you can often move forward andfind happiness.
While it can be essential toacknowledge painful and damaging
(24:45):
experiences from the past,healing tends to be more likely
when you do not let the pasttake over and remove your focus
from the present.
Sometimes, when we don't knowthe correct answer to your
problem or what to do about it,a successful approach can be to
pay attention to what makes usfeel better in the moment and
let time heal old wounds andthat I don't know.
(25:08):
It's hard to speak.
You know.
Only you know what woundsyou're trying to heal from.
I know a lot of us have deeperwounds than some others and
bigger wounds to heal from.
And I see you guys, I feel youand you can do this, you can
(25:31):
heal.
Number four no one is in chargeof your happiness except for you
.
And I'm starting to feel that,I'm starting to feel like, yes,
I can be in charge of my life.
Not that I didn't know thatbefore, but I didn't embrace it.
I didn't embrace it.
(25:52):
I used to have this mentalityof feeling stuck in my life and
in the past few years, justrealizing, no, I'm not, that's
just a cop out.
That's a cop out to stay in mycomfort zone.
You know.
Oh, I'm stuck, so I don't haveto make any moves, so I don't
have to feel uncomfortable anddo something about it.
(26:15):
You know.
So we are in charge of ourhappiness.
We really, really are.
And it's a lot of soulsearching you have to do.
You just have to know that shitwill happen.
I'm not saying, just becauseyou're in control of your life,
that things are always gonna beeasy, but it just feels, oh man,
(26:36):
like you're maneuvering.
You're in the driver's seat,you're not a passenger.
You know, a lot of us are goingthrough life just, oh, in the
back seat.
You're not even in thepassenger seat, you're in the
driver, you're in the back, inthe back back, thinking that
life is just, you know, drivingyou around and you don't have
any control.
No, we do, and that's why Ilike to drive on road trips.
(26:59):
Philip said in the passengerseat I got this, I like to be in
control of that.
But in the article it saysresearch has found that people
who believe they are in controlof their happiness are generally
more content in life thanpeople who think their feelings
of satisfaction rest in thehands of others.
(27:21):
We don't want people to controlour happiness.
No, no, no, no.
Number five avoid comparing yourlife to others and judging
others.
You have no idea what theirjourney is all about.
Man do.
I agree with this onewholeheartedly.
I don't compare my life toanyone, to be honest with you at
(27:43):
all, and you know I don't evenhave like these celebrities that
I'm just like I wish.
You know there's certain peoplethat I admire.
A lot of them is more for theirbusiness savviness.
I love Jennifer Lopez.
I know some of you might rollyour eyes, but I love her as far
as her business savviness andhow and her longevity, and also
(28:07):
she's Puerto Rican like me, soyou know, can't hate on that.
But Corinne the other day askedme if I would trade lives with
her and honestly I wouldn't.
I would not.
I would wanna pick her brain onhow she handles business and
how she's just stayed in thegame all these years, but no, I
(28:28):
wouldn't.
I really really wouldn't.
I think maybe in my early 20s,you know, I would get jealous of
people and compare my life tothem and wanna want what they
have.
There's no reason to compareLike make your life your own and
be proud of it and be happy forthose who are doing what you
(28:54):
admire.
You know, if you look atsomeone you're like oh, I want
what they have.
Well then you know, try toduplicate that in your own way,
cause we're all so different, weare all meant for something so
different in this world.
And comparing and trying tolike do something that wasn't
given to you, like that's not mygift, that's not my gift, that
(29:15):
was that was given, like if itwas supposed to be mine, then it
would have been given to me.
So stop comparing.
And you don't know.
And you don't know and you knowwhat.
Maybe that person is living awonderful life, but do you know
what they had to do to get tothat point, what they live
through to get to that point?
Or sometimes we are comparingourselves to people that are
(29:38):
miserable, because we're justseeing that outside and we're
seeing the flashiness of whothey are and they're live, but
but inside, if you go inside,you buy like run for the hills,
like holy shit, I don't want tobe, I don't want to be, I don't
want this life, I don't want herlife.
Stop it, guys.
(29:58):
Stop it.
Look within, look to see whatgift was given to you and
nourish that.
Nourish that and the article itsays.
Spending time judging behaviorand choices of other people may
also move you away from focusingon your own journey and
(30:19):
challenges, and we can nevertruly know what obstacles and
problems another person liveswith.
A more productive path may beto view each day as an
opportunity to celebrate who youare and what you have.
Choosing contentment andfocusing on the good in your
life can be powerful ways toovercome habits of comparison.
(30:41):
Little bits, ladies, littlebits and gents whoever listen.
Whatever gents listen.
Little baby bites.
Okay, stop comparing.
Number six stop overthinking.
It's all right if you don'tknow the answers.
They will come to you when youleast expect.
Oh, I know a lot of overthinkers.
(31:01):
All the ruminating and thenegative talk and the thoughts
and the thoughts and thoughts.
Listen, I'm a ruminator.
I was thinking about that whenI was reading this and I haven't
ruminated on something in awhile.
I would wake up in the middleof the night and ruminate on
crap that happened years ago,years ago.
(31:25):
And man, I haven't done that ina while and it just feels so
good that means I'm on the rightpath.
I gotta stick with it.
Gotta stick with it.
Keep reading these self-helpbooks.
They're really working for me.
And number seven smile.
You don't own all the problemsin the world.
(31:46):
There are things within yourcontrol and things outside of
your control.
When people or circumstancesare outside of your control,
recognizing this and not tryingto control the situation can
improve your mental well-being.
That one has been somethingthat Philip has drilled in my
(32:08):
head since I've met him and hewould.
Anytime a situation would comeup and I would get all riled up.
He would stop me, he wouldlisten and then he would stop me
and he's like is this somethingthat you can control?
And if the answer was yes, thenit's like all right, do you
want to come up with somesolutions for that?
(32:29):
Sure, let's do it.
Logic, man.
And if it was, is thissomething that you can control?
And if the answer was no, thenhe's like let it go, let it go.
If you can't control it, thenyou have to let it go, and
(32:50):
that's always been somethingthat he would throw out to me.
Sometimes I would catch it andreceive it very well, and other
times I'd like punching itbefore even got near me, just
punch it in the air.
It's like I don't need yourlogic right now, felipe, but but
it's so true, it's so true andeven today, like I, until this
(33:14):
day, I that's what I do I say isthere's something I can control
?
And if it is, let's dosomething about it.
And if not, let go and let God.
For real, for real, for real.
So when I read this list, itsounds so simple.
When you read it, when you read, just smile and don't compare
and let go of the past.
You know it's all these thingsthat we hear and quotes that we
(33:37):
read all about all seven ofthese.
But my goodness, I know it isso easier said than done, but it
is gonna change the way youinteract.
You're gonna feel lighter whenyou're dealing with difficult
people.
You're going to responddifferently.
(34:01):
My patience level is like oh mygosh, I have patience, thank the
Lord.
I've been asking for patiencefor what?
20 something years, 30something years, and he's giving
it to me.
I'm getting the patience.
I'm getting the patience.
(34:22):
It's quite exciting, actually.
So I read this and I said youknow what?
I have done so much internalwork to get to this place and
I've said it before, yes, Ididn't go to therapy and talk
this through with a therapist,but my friends are my therapist,
I'm my own therapist.
The books that I read, thepodcast like I don't know.
(34:45):
That's just the way I'm wired.
I just can learn through othersand use it and do it and and
just make it happen in my life.
And it's been very hard.
But here we are.
I'm in the same position I wasfour years ago as a manager and
(35:05):
I didn't want to ever come backbecause I was emotionally
fragile okay, fragile itemotionally and not knowing what
I wanted for myself.
And now fast forward almostfour years later, three and a
half years later, I am feelinglike I released a lot.
(35:29):
I feel light, I feel bright.
I read these things and I'mlike, damn, I'm on my way.
I've actually been able to doeach and every one of those
seven rules.
I would have never been able tosay that a few years ago and,
(35:50):
gosh, damn it.
I think I need to stay atinnovative smiles.
Oh, my gosh, what are we saying?
So pray for me, guys.
If it's not meant for me, thenyou know.
Maybe these three interviewswill be wonderful and one will
stand out and be the perfectmatch for innovative smiles and
Dr Phillip Talley.
(36:10):
But I feel in my heart thatit's meant for me.
So we shall see.
We shall see, as we say, atinnovative smiles, as the drill
turns.
I will update you on the nextepisode as a drill turns after I
watch it.
So here we are, guys, a month inJanuary, I was promoted, I was
(36:35):
put in a position to manage andlead and I feel at peace.
I feel at peace.
It's crazy, guys.
It's so crazy.
So, as always before I leave, Iwant to share something with
you, and it's not a quick quote.
(36:55):
It's not a quick, it's not aquick quote, but I thought it
was fitting for everything thatI'm feeling, all the clarity,
just all of this I don't know,man, I don't know if it's the
new year, I don't know what itis, but it feels good.
(37:16):
It feels good to feel light.
It feels good to feel light andall those bricks and all that
package I was carrying I'mtelling you they're gone.
There might be one littlepebble or two pebbles that I'm
still working on.
I'm not saying I'm perfect andthat I've conquered the world.
(37:37):
I'm not saying that, people,but I am a lot lighter.
So here, I'm gonna share thiswith you guys before I leave.
When something is for you, itwill bring clarity and alignment
to your life, not chaos andconfusion.
When something is for you, itwill not run or hide or avoid
(37:58):
being yours.
You do not have to chase afteranything or anyone.
When something is for you, youwon't feel the need to beg,
convince or force.
Things will feel easeful,grounded and safe.
When something is for you, itwill not make you question or
(38:21):
second guess your worth.
Instead, it will remind you howworthy and loved you truly are.
When something is for you, itwill feel healthy and supportive
, not toxic and destructive.
When something is for you,you'll know it.
Stop ignoring the signs.
(38:42):
Release what needs to bereleased so that you can receive
what needs to be received.
Love you guys.
See you next week.
Thank you so much for listeningto Virago 24 7.
(39:03):
If you haven't done so already,go ahead and hit that subscribe
button and please give us fivestar ratings.
Also, don't forget to follow uson Instagram at Virago 24
underscore 7, and on Facebook atVirago 24 slash 7, and just
connect with us and share yourstory.
(39:24):
We'd love to hear from you.
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