October 29, 2025 • 41 mins
What if the secret to thriving in a male-dominated field isn’t louder toughness, but smarter design—of your leadership style and your whole life? That’s the throughline of our conversation with author and mechanical engineer Josee Tremblay, who turned three decades in STEM into a clear playbook for women building influence, authority, and a sustainable home base.
We start with the real-world frictions: job sites without women’s bathrooms, PPE that doesn’t fit, and subtle judgment that nicks confidence. Josee doesn’t romanticize it, but she doesn’t flinch either. She breaks down how copying “bro energy” often backfires and why the research points to a different lever for women in leadership: pair rock-solid competency with visible warmth.
Josee also speaks on the practices that make dual-career ambition possible—aligned values with your partner, honest tradeoffs, and planning goals. She shares the tough call to leave a first marriage that couldn’t support global work, the power of choosing a growth-aligned partner, and the everyday logistics that actually move mountains.
If you’re navigating STEM, leadership, or any non-traditional role, you’ll leave with tactics you can use today. Want more? Grab Josee Tremblay's book, "Us And Yet And Yet", and visit http://www.usandyet.com to join her mailing list. If this conversation helps you think braver about your path, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review—it helps more everyday warriors find us.
Go to my website http://www.virago247.net for all things Virago 24/7
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Everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors!
Music by Deli Rowe: "Space to Move"
Logo by Kaylin Talley
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:02):
Hi, I am your host, Leonette Ali, and you are
listening to Virago 24-7.
Virago is Latin for femalewarrior, and 24-7 is for all day
everyday.
Virago 24-7 is a record podcastthat brings diverse women
together to talk about life andour experiences in this world,
which are our views onself-love, mental health,
(00:23):
marriage, children, friendships,and really anything else we
talked about.
Here you will find everydaygrowth, everyday healings, with
everyday warriors.
(00:52):
And I always love a new guestbecause we get new perspectives
and new stories.
And her name is Jose Tremblay.
And she is an author.
And I don't like to like giveall the details of people.
I like for them to speak forthemselves.
So I just want to welcomeeveryone, Jose Tremblay to Vrago
(01:14):
24-7.
Welcome.
Thank you.
Hi, Liana.
Hi.
So I know we've been trying toconnect the past few weeks, and
I'm glad that we finallyconnected.
And so just tell me, tell meabout you.
I've I've looked you up, I'veresearched, you know, just to
see if we're going to be a goodfit.
And I'm like, okay, I like her.
She seems like someone that'sgoing to have a lot to say and
(01:36):
some good stuff to share.
So tell us about you.
SPEAKER_00 (01:39):
Yes, so I'm a mechanical engineer by trade,
and I had a long career inpretty much a male-dominated
environment.
And I didn't find a voice to tryto speak up and be, I think
you're you use the wordwarriors.
Um, I kind of like that, youknow, because it kind of speaks
(02:00):
to building strength, buildingcapacity.
And I think that's where weconnected.
I'm really trying to find avoice to share my experience in
non-traditional fields.
I had a like 30-year career nowin that field.
And it felt like I didn't have alot of good voices around to
(02:23):
give me tips and tricks on howto navigate all this.
And to be a warrior is aboutstanding up, but it's also about
not trying to figure out thingsyourself.
Uh, try to leverage the, youknow, and walk in steps of
others.
So I wasn't a big fan of beingthat gal who speaks up and talk
(02:45):
about how possible it is for youto be in a minority situation.
Uh, but I felt like compelledseeing so many women ramp off
and make suboptimal choicesabout their careers, about their
life choices, because they didnot have the right support or
they didn't have the right toolsto consider pursuing their
(03:08):
passion.
So I felt really sad about that.
And uh just over a year and abit ago now, I wrote a book uh
to and I published it uh latelast year, uh, just to share uh
what it means to be in anon-traditional field and how
difficult it might be sometimes,but how rewarding it is as well.
(03:32):
So that's about me.
I'm basically a technical personand tried to find my voice to
share some of the things that Iwish I knew when I was younger.
SPEAKER_01 (03:45):
So let's start from the beginning.
I love all of this, but I liketo like start from like the
foundation.
So, what got you intoengineering?
Like what was it growing up thatput you in that field?
Um, so let's start there.
SPEAKER_00 (03:58):
Okay.
Well, I was good in math andgood in physics.
And I it's a little bit funny,you'd say it's probably an
engineering way of finding mypath.
But uh I went to the uh personat my school who was providing
orientation uh guidance.
And I remember the gentlemansaying, Oh, you can sit at this
(04:20):
computer and fill out thishundred questionnaire, a hundred
questions uh questionnaire, anduh I'll analyze the results with
you and we'll compare with yourmarks, and you can actually kind
of decide what fits.
So I did this.
I sat at that little terminaland kind of filled out the the
hundred questions, and I cameback and the gentleman said,
(04:42):
Well, you fit the profile of amechanical engineer.
And I had no mechanicalengineering engineers in my
life.
Um, and basically I said, Can wefind a job in mechanical
engineering?
And they said, Yeah, of coursewe can find jobs in mechanical
engineering.
And so that's how I said, Well,that sounds like a good prospect
for me.
It was like that easy, or Iguess not really taught through.
(05:08):
I didn't ask how many women uhwere in engineering.
I didn't know.
And um, I just with writing thebook, it was kind of um time to
step back and kind of looking atwhat are the ratios, what are
the motivators, what are thelimiting factors that will cause
people uh to not consider areally rewarding career in a
(05:32):
STEM world.
And uh I think it's a lot ofconditioning, but also it's just
not knowing that the path existsfor women.
Uh, I have to say, my career andto this day still now, I'm
practicing and I find that it'sso rewarding to be applying
(05:53):
yourself, your brain power tosolving the most complex
problems of our world.
And I'm super, superenthusiastic about that.
And still to this day, you know,so I had a long career, and
throughout my career, I workedreally difficult projects.
Um, but all along it was reallyrewarding when you feel like
(06:16):
you're breaking through some ofthe things that other people
hadn't figured out, and you'reactually helping uh the society
in advancing and thinkingthrough how we can adapt to the
world that we live in in aninformed way using science.
And for me, it's been reallyrewarding.
(06:38):
I still work very in manydifferent subjects.
I I work as a director ondifferent companies, some of
which are doing remote sensingand others are naval
architecture companies, or itit's a broad spectrum of things
that you can do when you startlearning physics and you start
learning mathematics.
(06:58):
And and I want to share thatdon't be shy, even if you don't
see a lot of you out there, uh,to really step in that ring
because it's super rewarding,it's fun, and you will run into
some issues because you're gonnabe a minority and there's a
whole lot of things that comeswith that.
(07:19):
But in the long run, you'regonna be very happy that you did
it because it's so great tocontribute to the society in the
way that you can.
And so that's my sharing.
SPEAKER_01 (07:30):
So getting into this profession um in the very
beginning, um, were you, do youthink you were naive to the
situation once you said, I'mgonna be an engineer, a
mechanical engineer, I'm gonnastudy this, and this is gonna be
my profession.
Were you naive to the idea thatyou would be one of the only
females, or were you prepared tohandle that, those situations?
SPEAKER_00 (07:53):
I probably I would say naive is not the right word
because I almost thought, well,if someone else can do it, I can
do it.
I had a little bit more of ago-getter kind of attitude.
And I studied in my secondlanguage.
So there's many different thingsthat were more of a worry at the
(08:14):
time than the fact that I wasjust one of few in terms of
gender.
And as I entered the workplace,I realized I felt like it was a
bit of a calling of mine to beable to be an inspiration for
other women uh to say it'spossible that you can go to the
(08:34):
field and be on a constructionsite and you can, you know,
build compressors and installthem, and you can figure out how
you can reduce, you know, apressure somewhere uh by you
know eliminating friction orwhatever it is that the project
you're working on, you just rollup the sleeves and and you just
(08:54):
are just an integral part of theteam.
And so early in my career, whenI was in my 20s, uh that was
kind of my path, is more I feltlike I was a little bit of a
warrior, like, you know, I'mgoing out there and I'm gonna do
it and I'm gonna just gonna buymyself and they're gonna see
that I can be just part of theteam like any other gentleman
(09:16):
could.
But then I realized that there'scertain things that were not in
place to support me.
Uh sometimes they had nobathrooms for women, and
sometimes we didn't have theright outfit, like um, we call
it personal protectiveequipment, not very suitable for
uh women.
And so there's little adaptivethings that I realized once I
(09:41):
got in the job that wow, like wecould do better in making that
circumstance comfortable.
And there's physical um makingit better, but there's also
psychological.
So you're kind of dealing withum, are you judged the same way?
Are you um able to do the thingsthat other people would be doing
(10:05):
at the table?
Uh so you start observing andrealizing that maybe there's
different barriers that youdidn't realize, and then you
find your way to navigatingthese barriers and you evolve
your style.
And I had one thing that uh Ishare in a lot of the
conversations I have issometimes if you try to emulate
(10:29):
a mentor who is of the othergender with the same
characteristics, you may not uhsee it as a successful.
You do need to kind of adapt tothe fact that you're showing up
in the world in a as a differentgender, and people are receiving
you in a different way just bythe fact that you're a different
(10:51):
gender.
And it seems verycounterintuitive to me because I
always thought, well, we're allequal and you know, we all, but
really at the end of the day,we're ancient pieces of
equipment, and in some ways, wehave ancient brains and we have
different conditioning that oursubconscious that you don't
realize exist.
And then so little by little Iwas realizing it that I couldn't
(11:17):
be just like the other guys, andI had to adopt maybe something
that was gonna be moresuccessful for me as a woman in
that field.
Didn't mean that I didn'tcontribute my brain power to the
environment.
It just meant I needed to findsomething that was authentic and
something that uh allowed me tosucceed in that environment.
(11:39):
So it's an adaptive, I think,circumstance.
And yeah, that's what my journeywas early on.
And uh that's why I felt why letother women figure it out from
scratch when I'm here sittinghere, like looking back at a
long career and then STEM, andwhy not share what I know I know
(12:02):
now?
And that's why my my book is notabout business, it's about the
whole life architecture tosupport a successful career and
a successful life at home,because I think they're both
intertwined in very complicatedways.
So if you don't consider both, Idon't think you're gonna break
through.
SPEAKER_01 (12:22):
All right.
So let's get to the book.
Let's uh talk about the name ofthe book.
What were some examples or somethings that you went through
that made you say, okay, I'mgonna write this book and this
is what I want to talk about.
So give us some nuggets that wecan um we can uh look forward to
with this book.
SPEAKER_00 (12:39):
Yeah.
So the book is called Us and Yetand Yet.
Together we rise beyondtraditional roles.
And the word traditional roleswas very intentional because I
think we need to rise both inour business environments or you
(13:01):
know, career as in innon-traditional fields, but in
non-traditional roles, but wealso need to rise above the
traditional roles at home.
So it's both sides.
It's not just traditional rolesin a work environment, it's the
(13:22):
traditional roles at home.
I think we need to buildstructures that will support us.
Um, we've had a long history ofhaving one parent at home and
one uh parent at work.
And when we have dual careercouples, they're most likely to
experience more difficultiesjust because our world is not
(13:46):
adapted to it.
We're going through some uhdisruption here where I live,
where uh schools are closed.
And that's very difficult fordual work care working couples.
So we do need to think throughit to support people working in
non-traditional fields, we needto think through how do we
(14:08):
support them at home as well.
Because and how do we come inand support each other when
you're part of a couple?
How do you support each other inbeing able to pursue the passion
and contribute to the society inthe best way you can?
Which if you're inclined to takeon, I don't know, astrophysics
(14:30):
or whatever it is, like that youcan actually step into that ring
and and do it successfully.
SPEAKER_01 (14:36):
So, what how have you been able to handle that in
your life?
And give us some c words ofwisdom of how you've been able
to handle your your private lifeand then your work life.
SPEAKER_00 (14:48):
Yeah.
Um my personal life has been onewhere I had a first the
marriage, which ended in thedivorce, and I realized that the
person I was with just wouldn'tbe the right fit for the path
that I was on.
I wanted to take oninternational assignments, etc.
(15:10):
And as you can imagine,navigating dual careers with
international assignment, notthat easy.
You need to have two willingparties ready to step into that
ring.
And the first marriage justwasn't gonna work for that.
So we um I I left therelationship and you know, moved
(15:32):
on, met my spouse, my currentspouse, and we both had a
similar vision.
Um, you know, the thirst forgrowth and the thirst for
exploring the world.
And we made a much better team.
So you do find that you need toconsider the other person's
(15:54):
objectives and goals and valuesand kind of figure out which
partner will actually work andthe construct that you want to
build.
And it's true for any type ofrelationship.
You know, maybe maybe you want,you don't want to travel, you
just want to stay put uh intothe same house that you grew up
in.
And uh you need to find thatspouse that will actually
(16:16):
support you in doing that.
Uh so it really is dependent onon the individual.
So our my spouse and I, we tendto want to align on values.
So at the foundation of it, thatgrowth is foundational to our
relationship.
And when we make decisionsrelative to growth, we know that
(16:38):
we got our each other's back,like we support each other.
And so we went on to travel theworld together, taking on
different assignments.
We had kids along the way, wehad two children.
And to this day, uh it's aboutconversation on what are the
priorities for each other.
(16:58):
And I do share in one of thechapters of my book how you
actually communicate acrossgender lines, because I do think
that it's a little bitdifferent.
So you need to actually be awareof what are the challenges and
what are the pitfalls of thatcommunication.
Coupled with that, if you're adual career, but even if you're
(17:19):
not a dual career and one of youis at home, to do really
intentional planning of what arethe objectives, where you want
to be in six months, where doyou want to be in 18 months,
where do you want to be in 10years, and align on that
conversation.
It's interesting that I'm sayingthat today.
I I need to drink from my ownKool-Aid because last night my
(17:42):
spouse and I were saying, well,we haven't done our plan, uh,
18-month plan a long time, andwe kind of need it.
We were both kind of not reallyalive in the last month.
And I said, Well, we need tokind of drink our own Kool-Aid
and do the 18-month plan.
So we're gonna probably work onit.
We started last night.
(18:02):
It's a continuous journey, uh,but the trick, the tricks that I
give in is um planning and allthe different, I call it um uh
all the different um uh uhsegments, not just the near
term, but the long term as well.
(18:24):
So the whole spectrum of of timeframe.
Uh people tend to be good atplanning for the next month
because we know what's on ourschedule, but we tend to have a
pretty good idea of where wewant to be like when we grow up
in 10 years.
But in between, there's lots ofthings that you can optimize
together.
So my tip is alright, have thatconversation.
SPEAKER_01 (18:49):
I love that because my husband and I do that too.
We don't do 18 months, we do ayear.
And it it really works.
If you write it down and youlook at it and you have this
goal and you work at ittogether, man.
And I always tell people it's itmay not happen tomorrow, it may
not happen in a year, but ithappens.
Like it literally, and when ithappens, we just look at each
(19:10):
other like, oh my gosh, youknow.
Some of the things have been 10years in the making, so but it
does happen.
Um, when it comes to your book,was it more based on your
experience or did you have to doresearch, any kind of research
for for this book?
SPEAKER_00 (19:27):
Yes, uh there's segments that are at the
beginning a bit data heavy.
The reason for that is I wastrying to dissect, is there an
argument for encouraging peoplein pursuing careers in
non-traditional fields?
Like what do we know in the dataset that exists in the world?
And I started pulling out onsome stats and what was
(19:51):
relevant, when do we actuallysee an impact?
Do we really see an impact?
Where do we see an impact?
So it's a there's a little bitof research in that space.
I also did some interviewsspecifically about people who
are negotiating.
What do they see?
So I had like a world-renownedum negotiator who I was friends
(20:14):
with, and we had a an offlineinterview and kind of shared
with me what he had observed ina really long career that he had
in coaching people on how tonegotiate.
And he saw that differentstyles, depending on your
gender, resonated.
Other styles didn't, what werethe superpowers of the different
(20:35):
genders?
So it seemed like we'resegregating, segregating into
the characteristics of differentgenders, but I think it's an
important point.
We can't all be neutral uhbecause we're not we're coming
in uh as uh women, and I guessyou know, our uh we have our
(20:55):
friends, gentlemen, coming in asgentlemen, and we need to figure
out how we maximize thepotential of both, and we become
superpower teams um by virtue ofthe fact that we bring our own
unique perspective.
And so negotiation is is nodifferent.
I think you need to understandwhat works and what is uh
(21:18):
successful and less successfulfor your own gender.
So we kind of explore that uhtogether and we we kind of had
some statistics associated withthat.
So it's a combination ofinterviews as well as research.
And I share in the back of thebook you have all the
references.
I'm sure things are evolving aswe speak.
(21:39):
And I published last year, sowe've seen new data coming this
year, and it's kind of a littlebit disappointing.
I think we're seeing a bit of astagnation in some of the
metrics that I was publishing.
So I'm hoping that we'recontinuing to make it an
important aspect of life becauseit's sad if someone has the
(22:03):
capacity to help society, andjust by virtue of not having the
right structure, the right help,the right tools, they wouldn't
consider stepping in that ring.
SPEAKER_01 (22:14):
So let's talk about um, because we're talking about
gender and gender roles and ourpersonalities are very
different.
I feel like sometimes, um, notsometimes, most men show up as
themselves.
And as women, like you saidearlier, you said that you try
to do how how men did, and youhad to realize that doesn't
(22:35):
work.
So let's talk more about thataspect.
Um what did you have to dodifferently that you couldn't do
the way a man does?
Because when they show uphowever they do, it's respected.
It's wow, look at him.
He's a power, a power uh uhhouse.
And and when we show up thatway, it's like she's a bee,
(22:56):
she's uh she's you know, she'sduck up, like she's a witch.
So I let's get into into thattopic.
SPEAKER_00 (23:04):
There's a whole chapter about that.
And I looked at, I call it thearchetypes.
When we look at history, in allcultures, there's these
archetypes that are beingdefined.
Um and you know, Venus, whatwhat was the book?
(23:24):
Uh Men are for Mars.
Yeah, and women are from Venus.
Like this is an archetypeconstruct where you kind of try
to put a a picture on what youyou observe in the world, and
you tried to define what thatpicture is in words.
And we have that in allcultures, like indigenous
(23:45):
culture, um, North Americancultures, Asian cultures.
So you think about yin yang inthe in the Asian culture, that's
kind of trying to define what afeminine archetype is and what a
masculine archetype is.
So it's part of our folklore,it's part of our culture.
And understanding how you canauthentically embody the
(24:09):
archetype that you're in isprobably the trick that you want
to lean on.
Embodying it in an authenticway, because if you're not
authentic about it, it's gonnafall flat.
So similarly, if I'm trying toembody masculine type of energy
(24:30):
that you describe, it's gonnafall flat because someone is
looking at me saying, well,she's she's not a guy, and and
that just doesn't resonate.
We just we're very much um, as Isaid, enter brain, subconscious,
a whole bunch of things areplaying when you have an
interaction with someone.
So what I was surprised of wasthe two characteristics that are
(24:58):
the most effective as if you'rein the male archetype is
competitiveness andassertiveness.
So that's if you're a male.
And then that we kind of rallybehind guys that are assertive,
rally behind guys that arecompetitive, um, let's win
(25:20):
together.
We're gonna be following them.
It's just the way we are, thisand the nature of things.
But as you said, if you're awoman and you kind of really
push that these themes, it itmay work for you because some
women are like that and they'resuccessful, but your probability
(25:42):
of success is lower.
For women, the characteristicsthat are the most effective for
leadership competency andwarmth.
What a shock when I learnedthat.
I was like, really?
Like competency and warmth?
(26:03):
I'm in I'm like trying to figureout which you know electrical
box we're gonna need to use forthe for this installation, and I
have to use warmth.
Like, but how do you actually dothat in an authentic way?
So it makes it made me laugh.
(26:23):
But I realized it was kind ofthe clue.
I was like, okay, how do I showup at work with more warmth?
How do I show up at work withall the competencies I bring and
assure that I don't fall intothe competitive and assertive
space because it won't resonatewell?
So just knowing that was, Ithink, a breakthrough in my own
(26:48):
career.
All of a sudden it was I'mshowing up every day and I'm
gonna be warm and competent.
So I kind of tried to do that inthe best authentic way I could.
And little by little, you know,I had more and more success.
And I was like, okay, well, thisis working.
So so then it kind of fed me andand put me on a different path,
(27:10):
I think.
And then it doesn't mean thatyou don't go for roles where you
have authority.
Uh that's not what I'm saying.
Um, in fact, I have a wholesegment on what we call
participative decision making,which is to what are the roles
that are actually going to beinfluencing the bottom line in
(27:31):
an organization?
And like what are the roles thathave budgetary accountabilities?
And uh we don't see enough womenin these roles and leader, like
you know, higher leadershiproles.
We don't see enough women there.
And it's because I think they'rerunning into a whole bunch of
micro issues of that we haven'treally quite pinpointed yet.
(27:56):
And by revealing the most wefind to the world, I think this
we can chip away at it.
And once you know, you can unseethese things and you uh you uh
can start to adopt differentmethodology to get better on the
better side of it.
SPEAKER_01 (28:15):
So I, you know, I'm sure you when you look at your
industry and male-dominatedindustries, I'm sure it's not
exactly how we would want it tobe.
Um, but you said you've been inthis profession for 30 years.
Is that correct?
Have you seen any kind of littlechange, or is it exactly the
same from when you started?
SPEAKER_00 (28:37):
We do see lots of changes.
Uh the positive change I've seenis that more and more now uh men
are seeing that they have anallyship role in ensuring that
women are kind of enabled in theenvironment, not favored, that's
(28:57):
not what we're looking for, butthat they're conscious of what
are the limitations.
Because if we don't have theallies, as you can imagine, if
we're one in ten and you there'sno allies, it's too hard of a
lift.
But if you start having two orthree allies in a room, all of a
sudden the dynamic changes.
(29:19):
So more and more people in thatare in the majority, and this is
probably true for roles wheremen are the minority too, um, we
see more allies.
And that has changed.
And people define themselves asallies.
And I met one this summer, andhe was able to enable women,
(29:46):
probably in a much, much biggerway than I was, because he's at
all the tables, but he's a superhigh ally, and I was so
impressed with how muchknowledge he had about what are
the micro things that we need toresolve.
And he had done lots of soulsearching on how do I actually
lead a team that is diverse?
(30:07):
How do I lead a team that hasdifferent points of view?
How do I lead a team that willnot all act the same way?
And how do we actually embracethat and kind of uplift the
people, maybe the quieter voicein a room?
And so allyship is the thingthat I've seen the last decade
that has probably evolved beyondother things.
(30:31):
The other thing is also we I'minvolved with the Schul School
of Engineering in my district,and we realized that some uh
limitation in women entering inSTEM.
Um just from high school goinginto universities and colleges,
(30:51):
they had some limitation.
So these barriers are startingto be removed, and we see more
women and young girls looking toa career in non-traditional
fields because of that.
So these are kind of probablytwo areas, but we still have a
long ways to go.
And it's almost like we have wehave one step forward or two
(31:14):
step forward and then a littlestep back.
I think we're a little bit inthe step back place.
And I want to encourage peoplenot to step back and just
continue.
I know it's not always easy, butum it's still worth it because
you do um contribute in a inyour own special way.
And I think we're gonna gofurther if we're together.
SPEAKER_01 (31:39):
So what what are you seeing that you just said that
you feel like we're steppingback in today's world?
Like what is it?
What's happening?
What are you observing that youmakes you say that?
SPEAKER_00 (31:54):
People don't want to talk about it anymore.
It seems like it's off theradar, and they are maybe they
think they've tried it and ithasn't worked, so they're giving
up.
And it's not super popular inthe conversations anymore.
(32:15):
And I did see that in the lastprobably year.
And I do think that we ought tokeep going uh because we don't
want to leave people behind.
We want everyone to reach theirfull potential, and that
includes all the people workingin non-traditional roles.
SPEAKER_01 (32:35):
I love that.
I love that.
What can you tell um a youngperson, a young woman that
starting off in any field, itdidn't have to be
male-dominated, to gain thatconfidence to to share your
voice in a way that it will beheard?
Um, because I think a lot of thetimes what we lack is that
confidence to to stand up andshow people like this is who I
(32:58):
am.
Because I know that's um I'vegrown into my confidence.
I wasn't always this way, butit's it's really hard.
So, what would you say to toyoung girls or even women our
age who want to start over?
SPEAKER_00 (33:11):
Before I answer this question, I have to say you said
you're building into yourconfidence in your podcast.
You're very confident.
And I love your demeanor, likeyou're so open in all the
conversations.
And that's a very high, I wouldsay that's a very high quality
(33:32):
to have, specifically as youfind your voice, as you said,
uh, and finding your voice whenyou're a podcaster is is a is a
step beyond what people willactually venture to do.
Uh so congratulations on that.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (33:46):
I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_00 (33:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (33:48):
I I hide it well.
I hide behind my nervousnessvery well.
SPEAKER_00 (33:53):
So you're doing fantastic, and you're very open,
like in your voice and tone andall that.
So it's it's great.
Even if you deal with some verycomplicated sometimes uh issues
like that are more personal andand uh you know more difficult.
But I I really think that youhave a very good way about
(34:14):
thinking through what uh willbreak people.
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (34:19):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (34:21):
And the tip I would give, or the you know, the idea
I would give is that you can'tdo it alone and don't accept uh
the commentary that says you canhave everything you want, but
not all at the same time.
I absolutely don't like that.
And the reason for that is whycan I have it all?
(34:41):
Like, why can't I have a goodcareer that challenges me, that
you know goes into my strengths?
And why can't I have the perfectpartner in my life and uh
perfect friends and familyconnections?
Like wish it all and put it allon the docket and put it all on
(35:05):
the docket now.
But you can't do it alone.
You have to find the help youneed, and you have to be humble
and vulnerable to find thatsupport that you need.
And if the support you have inyour life is not the support you
need, you need to figure out away to get out of that support
(35:25):
and find the new one.
And I gave an example early.
My first spouse was not thespouse I had I needed to be able
to be successful in what I wantto do in my life.
And you have I kind of projectedmyself.
I said, Do I want to be there in50 years?
And my answer was no.
So I I I had to, as hard as itwas from a heart perspective, I
(35:48):
had to step out.
And I'm so glad I did becausewe're nearly 20 years later, and
I have two beautiful childrenwith, you know, a spouse that is
right there by my side, and weare super aligned on what we
want about our life.
So yeah, want it all and put itall on the docket at the same
(36:12):
time.
But be be vulnerable and figureout the support that you need uh
to succeed, and um find thesupport in ways that you may not
think so.
You sometimes people willsettle.
It is the daycare that I pickedonly open from whatever nine
(36:34):
o'clock to three o'clock, andI'm working from eight to five.
Well, that's not the support youneed.
Like you need to find someonewho will look after your
children from the time you leaveto the evening.
And uh it might be the next doorneighbor, it might be so be
innovative in finding thesolutions.
Um it might be someone who'sretired next door who can't take
(36:58):
care of them, or like, butreally apply your brains to
remove those barriers that willallow you to be successful.
unknown (37:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (37:08):
And I think sometimes we hide behind those
barriers, like, oh, I can't dothis because of this and this
and this.
Things are gonna be hard foranything that you want.
It's going to be hard.
And I'm giving myself a pep talkbecause I make excuses and I'm
like, well, that can't happenbecause of this.
And it's because of my ownfears.
It's not the truth, right?
It's it's it's something thatI've told myself so that I don't
(37:30):
have to put forth the effortbecause it's scary.
And we're never stuck.
Um, we just it's it's gonna behard to unstick yourself,
unstuck yourself.
I don't know how that is, butbut I love I love that you say
that because it it it couldreconfirms for me that anything
is possible if you just thinkoutside the box and if you
(37:52):
really want it.
So I appreciate that.
Is there anything else you wouldlove to share with us um about
your book, about yourprofession, about anything?
SPEAKER_00 (38:03):
Well, thank you for hosting.
Uh, this is great, and thank youfor the work that you do.
And yeah, look up my book.
It's on Amazon, uh, us and yetand yet.
And it's basically about usworking together, figuring out
how we can do it better.
And how it's it's a journey, andyet and yet is about things that
(38:26):
are not fully complete,something that is gonna still be
evolving, and yet we can do somuch you know together and and
we can evolve together.
So that's the thought of theday, and and I appreciate the
audience for listening.
SPEAKER_01 (38:42):
And do you have a website or your socials?
Would you like to share that?
And then I'll put it in thenotes as well.
SPEAKER_00 (38:47):
Sure, that sounds good.
Yeah, you can find me atasanyet.com.
And uh I do have a little bit ofinformation there.
You can join our mailing mailinglist, and uh I'm certainly open
to having uh different platformsto speak and share my experience
because that's the whole reasonwhy I wrote the book is like
(39:08):
don't be alone.
It was talking about finding thehelp.
I felt like I could help.
So that's why I kind of steppedinto that authorship brain.
SPEAKER_01 (39:18):
I love it.
So if we want to talk to someonewho is a professional woman and
we're scared or we havequestions, you're the girl to
call.
I love it.
I love it.
I really, really appreciate youum coming on.
Um, like I said in thebeginning, I love new voices and
I really, really thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (39:38):
Thank you for hosting it.
SPEAKER_01 (39:40):
Thank you.
Well, hopefully we can talkagain.
Yes, all right.
Bye.
I'll leave you all with this.
Start showing up as her.
Start showing up as the womanyou want to become.
Move with confidence, setboundaries without guilt, and
make decisions from a place ofabundance, not fear.
(40:01):
Speak with authority, invest inyourself and prioritize your
peace.
Elevate your habits, surroundyourself with the people who
inspire you and trust that youare already becoming her.
Every step, every choice, andevery moment is shaping the
(40:23):
version of you that you'vealways envisioned.
Keep going.
Thank you so much for listeningto Virago247.
If you haven't done so already,go ahead and hit that subscribe
button and please give us afive-star rating.
Also, don't forget to follow uson Instagram at Virago24
(40:46):
underscore seven and on Facebookat Virago247.
And just connect with us andshare your story.
We'd love to hear from you.
Hi, I am your host, Leonette Ali, and you are
listening to Virago 24-7.
Virago is Latin for femalewarrior, and 24-7 is for all day
everyday.
Virago 24-7 is a record podcastthat brings diverse women
together to talk about life andour experiences in this world,
which are our views onself-love, mental health,
(00:23):
marriage, children, friendships,and really anything else we
talked about.
Here you will find everydaygrowth, everyday healings, with
everyday warriors.
(00:52):
And I always love a new guestbecause we get new perspectives
and new stories.
And her name is Jose Tremblay.
And she is an author.
And I don't like to like giveall the details of people.
I like for them to speak forthemselves.
So I just want to welcomeeveryone, Jose Tremblay to Vrago
(01:14):
24-7.
Welcome.
Thank you.
Hi, Liana.
Hi.
So I know we've been trying toconnect the past few weeks, and
I'm glad that we finallyconnected.
And so just tell me, tell meabout you.
I've I've looked you up, I'veresearched, you know, just to
see if we're going to be a goodfit.
And I'm like, okay, I like her.
She seems like someone that'sgoing to have a lot to say and
(01:36):
some good stuff to share.
So tell us about you.
SPEAKER_00 (01:39):
Yes, so I'm a mechanical engineer by trade,
and I had a long career inpretty much a male-dominated
environment.
And I didn't find a voice to tryto speak up and be, I think
you're you use the wordwarriors.
Um, I kind of like that, youknow, because it kind of speaks
(02:00):
to building strength, buildingcapacity.
And I think that's where weconnected.
I'm really trying to find avoice to share my experience in
non-traditional fields.
I had a like 30-year career nowin that field.
And it felt like I didn't have alot of good voices around to
(02:23):
give me tips and tricks on howto navigate all this.
And to be a warrior is aboutstanding up, but it's also about
not trying to figure out thingsyourself.
Uh, try to leverage the, youknow, and walk in steps of
others.
So I wasn't a big fan of beingthat gal who speaks up and talk
(02:45):
about how possible it is for youto be in a minority situation.
Uh, but I felt like compelledseeing so many women ramp off
and make suboptimal choicesabout their careers, about their
life choices, because they didnot have the right support or
they didn't have the right toolsto consider pursuing their
(03:08):
passion.
So I felt really sad about that.
And uh just over a year and abit ago now, I wrote a book uh
to and I published it uh latelast year, uh, just to share uh
what it means to be in anon-traditional field and how
difficult it might be sometimes,but how rewarding it is as well.
(03:32):
So that's about me.
I'm basically a technical personand tried to find my voice to
share some of the things that Iwish I knew when I was younger.
SPEAKER_01 (03:45):
So let's start from the beginning.
I love all of this, but I liketo like start from like the
foundation.
So, what got you intoengineering?
Like what was it growing up thatput you in that field?
Um, so let's start there.
SPEAKER_00 (03:58):
Okay.
Well, I was good in math andgood in physics.
And I it's a little bit funny,you'd say it's probably an
engineering way of finding mypath.
But uh I went to the uh personat my school who was providing
orientation uh guidance.
And I remember the gentlemansaying, Oh, you can sit at this
(04:20):
computer and fill out thishundred questionnaire, a hundred
questions uh questionnaire, anduh I'll analyze the results with
you and we'll compare with yourmarks, and you can actually kind
of decide what fits.
So I did this.
I sat at that little terminaland kind of filled out the the
hundred questions, and I cameback and the gentleman said,
(04:42):
Well, you fit the profile of amechanical engineer.
And I had no mechanicalengineering engineers in my
life.
Um, and basically I said, Can wefind a job in mechanical
engineering?
And they said, Yeah, of coursewe can find jobs in mechanical
engineering.
And so that's how I said, Well,that sounds like a good prospect
for me.
It was like that easy, or Iguess not really taught through.
(05:08):
I didn't ask how many women uhwere in engineering.
I didn't know.
And um, I just with writing thebook, it was kind of um time to
step back and kind of looking atwhat are the ratios, what are
the motivators, what are thelimiting factors that will cause
people uh to not consider areally rewarding career in a
(05:32):
STEM world.
And uh I think it's a lot ofconditioning, but also it's just
not knowing that the path existsfor women.
Uh, I have to say, my career andto this day still now, I'm
practicing and I find that it'sso rewarding to be applying
(05:53):
yourself, your brain power tosolving the most complex
problems of our world.
And I'm super, superenthusiastic about that.
And still to this day, you know,so I had a long career, and
throughout my career, I workedreally difficult projects.
Um, but all along it was reallyrewarding when you feel like
(06:16):
you're breaking through some ofthe things that other people
hadn't figured out, and you'reactually helping uh the society
in advancing and thinkingthrough how we can adapt to the
world that we live in in aninformed way using science.
And for me, it's been reallyrewarding.
(06:38):
I still work very in manydifferent subjects.
I I work as a director ondifferent companies, some of
which are doing remote sensingand others are naval
architecture companies, or itit's a broad spectrum of things
that you can do when you startlearning physics and you start
learning mathematics.
(06:58):
And and I want to share thatdon't be shy, even if you don't
see a lot of you out there, uh,to really step in that ring
because it's super rewarding,it's fun, and you will run into
some issues because you're gonnabe a minority and there's a
whole lot of things that comeswith that.
(07:19):
But in the long run, you'regonna be very happy that you did
it because it's so great tocontribute to the society in the
way that you can.
And so that's my sharing.
SPEAKER_01 (07:30):
So getting into this profession um in the very
beginning, um, were you, do youthink you were naive to the
situation once you said, I'mgonna be an engineer, a
mechanical engineer, I'm gonnastudy this, and this is gonna be
my profession.
Were you naive to the idea thatyou would be one of the only
females, or were you prepared tohandle that, those situations?
SPEAKER_00 (07:53):
I probably I would say naive is not the right word
because I almost thought, well,if someone else can do it, I can
do it.
I had a little bit more of ago-getter kind of attitude.
And I studied in my secondlanguage.
So there's many different thingsthat were more of a worry at the
(08:14):
time than the fact that I wasjust one of few in terms of
gender.
And as I entered the workplace,I realized I felt like it was a
bit of a calling of mine to beable to be an inspiration for
other women uh to say it'spossible that you can go to the
(08:34):
field and be on a constructionsite and you can, you know,
build compressors and installthem, and you can figure out how
you can reduce, you know, apressure somewhere uh by you
know eliminating friction orwhatever it is that the project
you're working on, you just rollup the sleeves and and you just
(08:54):
are just an integral part of theteam.
And so early in my career, whenI was in my 20s, uh that was
kind of my path, is more I feltlike I was a little bit of a
warrior, like, you know, I'mgoing out there and I'm gonna do
it and I'm gonna just gonna buymyself and they're gonna see
that I can be just part of theteam like any other gentleman
(09:16):
could.
But then I realized that there'scertain things that were not in
place to support me.
Uh sometimes they had nobathrooms for women, and
sometimes we didn't have theright outfit, like um, we call
it personal protectiveequipment, not very suitable for
uh women.
And so there's little adaptivethings that I realized once I
(09:41):
got in the job that wow, like wecould do better in making that
circumstance comfortable.
And there's physical um makingit better, but there's also
psychological.
So you're kind of dealing withum, are you judged the same way?
Are you um able to do the thingsthat other people would be doing
(10:05):
at the table?
Uh so you start observing andrealizing that maybe there's
different barriers that youdidn't realize, and then you
find your way to navigatingthese barriers and you evolve
your style.
And I had one thing that uh Ishare in a lot of the
conversations I have issometimes if you try to emulate
(10:29):
a mentor who is of the othergender with the same
characteristics, you may not uhsee it as a successful.
You do need to kind of adapt tothe fact that you're showing up
in the world in a as a differentgender, and people are receiving
you in a different way just bythe fact that you're a different
(10:51):
gender.
And it seems verycounterintuitive to me because I
always thought, well, we're allequal and you know, we all, but
really at the end of the day,we're ancient pieces of
equipment, and in some ways, wehave ancient brains and we have
different conditioning that oursubconscious that you don't
realize exist.
And then so little by little Iwas realizing it that I couldn't
(11:17):
be just like the other guys, andI had to adopt maybe something
that was gonna be moresuccessful for me as a woman in
that field.
Didn't mean that I didn'tcontribute my brain power to the
environment.
It just meant I needed to findsomething that was authentic and
something that uh allowed me tosucceed in that environment.
(11:39):
So it's an adaptive, I think,circumstance.
And yeah, that's what my journeywas early on.
And uh that's why I felt why letother women figure it out from
scratch when I'm here sittinghere, like looking back at a
long career and then STEM, andwhy not share what I know I know
(12:02):
now?
And that's why my my book is notabout business, it's about the
whole life architecture tosupport a successful career and
a successful life at home,because I think they're both
intertwined in very complicatedways.
So if you don't consider both, Idon't think you're gonna break
through.
SPEAKER_01 (12:22):
All right.
So let's get to the book.
Let's uh talk about the name ofthe book.
What were some examples or somethings that you went through
that made you say, okay, I'mgonna write this book and this
is what I want to talk about.
So give us some nuggets that wecan um we can uh look forward to
with this book.
SPEAKER_00 (12:39):
Yeah.
So the book is called Us and Yetand Yet.
Together we rise beyondtraditional roles.
And the word traditional roleswas very intentional because I
think we need to rise both inour business environments or you
(13:01):
know, career as in innon-traditional fields, but in
non-traditional roles, but wealso need to rise above the
traditional roles at home.
So it's both sides.
It's not just traditional rolesin a work environment, it's the
(13:22):
traditional roles at home.
I think we need to buildstructures that will support us.
Um, we've had a long history ofhaving one parent at home and
one uh parent at work.
And when we have dual careercouples, they're most likely to
experience more difficultiesjust because our world is not
(13:46):
adapted to it.
We're going through some uhdisruption here where I live,
where uh schools are closed.
And that's very difficult fordual work care working couples.
So we do need to think throughit to support people working in
non-traditional fields, we needto think through how do we
(14:08):
support them at home as well.
Because and how do we come inand support each other when
you're part of a couple?
How do you support each other inbeing able to pursue the passion
and contribute to the society inthe best way you can?
Which if you're inclined to takeon, I don't know, astrophysics
(14:30):
or whatever it is, like that youcan actually step into that ring
and and do it successfully.
SPEAKER_01 (14:36):
So, what how have you been able to handle that in
your life?
And give us some c words ofwisdom of how you've been able
to handle your your private lifeand then your work life.
SPEAKER_00 (14:48):
Yeah.
Um my personal life has been onewhere I had a first the
marriage, which ended in thedivorce, and I realized that the
person I was with just wouldn'tbe the right fit for the path
that I was on.
I wanted to take oninternational assignments, etc.
(15:10):
And as you can imagine,navigating dual careers with
international assignment, notthat easy.
You need to have two willingparties ready to step into that
ring.
And the first marriage justwasn't gonna work for that.
So we um I I left therelationship and you know, moved
(15:32):
on, met my spouse, my currentspouse, and we both had a
similar vision.
Um, you know, the thirst forgrowth and the thirst for
exploring the world.
And we made a much better team.
So you do find that you need toconsider the other person's
(15:54):
objectives and goals and valuesand kind of figure out which
partner will actually work andthe construct that you want to
build.
And it's true for any type ofrelationship.
You know, maybe maybe you want,you don't want to travel, you
just want to stay put uh intothe same house that you grew up
in.
And uh you need to find thatspouse that will actually
(16:16):
support you in doing that.
Uh so it really is dependent onon the individual.
So our my spouse and I, we tendto want to align on values.
So at the foundation of it, thatgrowth is foundational to our
relationship.
And when we make decisionsrelative to growth, we know that
(16:38):
we got our each other's back,like we support each other.
And so we went on to travel theworld together, taking on
different assignments.
We had kids along the way, wehad two children.
And to this day, uh it's aboutconversation on what are the
priorities for each other.
(16:58):
And I do share in one of thechapters of my book how you
actually communicate acrossgender lines, because I do think
that it's a little bitdifferent.
So you need to actually be awareof what are the challenges and
what are the pitfalls of thatcommunication.
Coupled with that, if you're adual career, but even if you're
(17:19):
not a dual career and one of youis at home, to do really
intentional planning of what arethe objectives, where you want
to be in six months, where doyou want to be in 18 months,
where do you want to be in 10years, and align on that
conversation.
It's interesting that I'm sayingthat today.
I I need to drink from my ownKool-Aid because last night my
(17:42):
spouse and I were saying, well,we haven't done our plan, uh,
18-month plan a long time, andwe kind of need it.
We were both kind of not reallyalive in the last month.
And I said, Well, we need tokind of drink our own Kool-Aid
and do the 18-month plan.
So we're gonna probably work onit.
We started last night.
(18:02):
It's a continuous journey, uh,but the trick, the tricks that I
give in is um planning and allthe different, I call it um uh
all the different um uh uhsegments, not just the near
term, but the long term as well.
(18:24):
So the whole spectrum of of timeframe.
Uh people tend to be good atplanning for the next month
because we know what's on ourschedule, but we tend to have a
pretty good idea of where wewant to be like when we grow up
in 10 years.
But in between, there's lots ofthings that you can optimize
together.
So my tip is alright, have thatconversation.
SPEAKER_01 (18:49):
I love that because my husband and I do that too.
We don't do 18 months, we do ayear.
And it it really works.
If you write it down and youlook at it and you have this
goal and you work at ittogether, man.
And I always tell people it's itmay not happen tomorrow, it may
not happen in a year, but ithappens.
Like it literally, and when ithappens, we just look at each
(19:10):
other like, oh my gosh, youknow.
Some of the things have been 10years in the making, so but it
does happen.
Um, when it comes to your book,was it more based on your
experience or did you have to doresearch, any kind of research
for for this book?
SPEAKER_00 (19:27):
Yes, uh there's segments that are at the
beginning a bit data heavy.
The reason for that is I wastrying to dissect, is there an
argument for encouraging peoplein pursuing careers in
non-traditional fields?
Like what do we know in the dataset that exists in the world?
And I started pulling out onsome stats and what was
(19:51):
relevant, when do we actuallysee an impact?
Do we really see an impact?
Where do we see an impact?
So it's a there's a little bitof research in that space.
I also did some interviewsspecifically about people who
are negotiating.
What do they see?
So I had like a world-renownedum negotiator who I was friends
(20:14):
with, and we had a an offlineinterview and kind of shared
with me what he had observed ina really long career that he had
in coaching people on how tonegotiate.
And he saw that differentstyles, depending on your
gender, resonated.
Other styles didn't, what werethe superpowers of the different
(20:35):
genders?
So it seemed like we'resegregating, segregating into
the characteristics of differentgenders, but I think it's an
important point.
We can't all be neutral uhbecause we're not we're coming
in uh as uh women, and I guessyou know, our uh we have our
(20:55):
friends, gentlemen, coming in asgentlemen, and we need to figure
out how we maximize thepotential of both, and we become
superpower teams um by virtue ofthe fact that we bring our own
unique perspective.
And so negotiation is is nodifferent.
I think you need to understandwhat works and what is uh
(21:18):
successful and less successfulfor your own gender.
So we kind of explore that uhtogether and we we kind of had
some statistics associated withthat.
So it's a combination ofinterviews as well as research.
And I share in the back of thebook you have all the
references.
I'm sure things are evolving aswe speak.
(21:39):
And I published last year, sowe've seen new data coming this
year, and it's kind of a littlebit disappointing.
I think we're seeing a bit of astagnation in some of the
metrics that I was publishing.
So I'm hoping that we'recontinuing to make it an
important aspect of life becauseit's sad if someone has the
(22:03):
capacity to help society, andjust by virtue of not having the
right structure, the right help,the right tools, they wouldn't
consider stepping in that ring.
SPEAKER_01 (22:14):
So let's talk about um, because we're talking about
gender and gender roles and ourpersonalities are very
different.
I feel like sometimes, um, notsometimes, most men show up as
themselves.
And as women, like you saidearlier, you said that you try
to do how how men did, and youhad to realize that doesn't
(22:35):
work.
So let's talk more about thataspect.
Um what did you have to dodifferently that you couldn't do
the way a man does?
Because when they show uphowever they do, it's respected.
It's wow, look at him.
He's a power, a power uh uhhouse.
And and when we show up thatway, it's like she's a bee,
(22:56):
she's uh she's you know, she'sduck up, like she's a witch.
So I let's get into into thattopic.
SPEAKER_00 (23:04):
There's a whole chapter about that.
And I looked at, I call it thearchetypes.
When we look at history, in allcultures, there's these
archetypes that are beingdefined.
Um and you know, Venus, whatwhat was the book?
(23:24):
Uh Men are for Mars.
Yeah, and women are from Venus.
Like this is an archetypeconstruct where you kind of try
to put a a picture on what youyou observe in the world, and
you tried to define what thatpicture is in words.
And we have that in allcultures, like indigenous
(23:45):
culture, um, North Americancultures, Asian cultures.
So you think about yin yang inthe in the Asian culture, that's
kind of trying to define what afeminine archetype is and what a
masculine archetype is.
So it's part of our folklore,it's part of our culture.
And understanding how you canauthentically embody the
(24:09):
archetype that you're in isprobably the trick that you want
to lean on.
Embodying it in an authenticway, because if you're not
authentic about it, it's gonnafall flat.
So similarly, if I'm trying toembody masculine type of energy
(24:30):
that you describe, it's gonnafall flat because someone is
looking at me saying, well,she's she's not a guy, and and
that just doesn't resonate.
We just we're very much um, as Isaid, enter brain, subconscious,
a whole bunch of things areplaying when you have an
interaction with someone.
So what I was surprised of wasthe two characteristics that are
(24:58):
the most effective as if you'rein the male archetype is
competitiveness andassertiveness.
So that's if you're a male.
And then that we kind of rallybehind guys that are assertive,
rally behind guys that arecompetitive, um, let's win
(25:20):
together.
We're gonna be following them.
It's just the way we are, thisand the nature of things.
But as you said, if you're awoman and you kind of really
push that these themes, it itmay work for you because some
women are like that and they'resuccessful, but your probability
(25:42):
of success is lower.
For women, the characteristicsthat are the most effective for
leadership competency andwarmth.
What a shock when I learnedthat.
I was like, really?
Like competency and warmth?
(26:03):
I'm in I'm like trying to figureout which you know electrical
box we're gonna need to use forthe for this installation, and I
have to use warmth.
Like, but how do you actually dothat in an authentic way?
So it makes it made me laugh.
(26:23):
But I realized it was kind ofthe clue.
I was like, okay, how do I showup at work with more warmth?
How do I show up at work withall the competencies I bring and
assure that I don't fall intothe competitive and assertive
space because it won't resonatewell?
So just knowing that was, Ithink, a breakthrough in my own
(26:48):
career.
All of a sudden it was I'mshowing up every day and I'm
gonna be warm and competent.
So I kind of tried to do that inthe best authentic way I could.
And little by little, you know,I had more and more success.
And I was like, okay, well, thisis working.
So so then it kind of fed me andand put me on a different path,
(27:10):
I think.
And then it doesn't mean thatyou don't go for roles where you
have authority.
Uh that's not what I'm saying.
Um, in fact, I have a wholesegment on what we call
participative decision making,which is to what are the roles
that are actually going to beinfluencing the bottom line in
(27:31):
an organization?
And like what are the roles thathave budgetary accountabilities?
And uh we don't see enough womenin these roles and leader, like
you know, higher leadershiproles.
We don't see enough women there.
And it's because I think they'rerunning into a whole bunch of
micro issues of that we haven'treally quite pinpointed yet.
(27:56):
And by revealing the most wefind to the world, I think this
we can chip away at it.
And once you know, you can unseethese things and you uh you uh
can start to adopt differentmethodology to get better on the
better side of it.
SPEAKER_01 (28:15):
So I, you know, I'm sure you when you look at your
industry and male-dominatedindustries, I'm sure it's not
exactly how we would want it tobe.
Um, but you said you've been inthis profession for 30 years.
Is that correct?
Have you seen any kind of littlechange, or is it exactly the
same from when you started?
SPEAKER_00 (28:37):
We do see lots of changes.
Uh the positive change I've seenis that more and more now uh men
are seeing that they have anallyship role in ensuring that
women are kind of enabled in theenvironment, not favored, that's
(28:57):
not what we're looking for, butthat they're conscious of what
are the limitations.
Because if we don't have theallies, as you can imagine, if
we're one in ten and you there'sno allies, it's too hard of a
lift.
But if you start having two orthree allies in a room, all of a
sudden the dynamic changes.
(29:19):
So more and more people in thatare in the majority, and this is
probably true for roles wheremen are the minority too, um, we
see more allies.
And that has changed.
And people define themselves asallies.
And I met one this summer, andhe was able to enable women,
(29:46):
probably in a much, much biggerway than I was, because he's at
all the tables, but he's a superhigh ally, and I was so
impressed with how muchknowledge he had about what are
the micro things that we need toresolve.
And he had done lots of soulsearching on how do I actually
lead a team that is diverse?
(30:07):
How do I lead a team that hasdifferent points of view?
How do I lead a team that willnot all act the same way?
And how do we actually embracethat and kind of uplift the
people, maybe the quieter voicein a room?
And so allyship is the thingthat I've seen the last decade
that has probably evolved beyondother things.
(30:31):
The other thing is also we I'minvolved with the Schul School
of Engineering in my district,and we realized that some uh
limitation in women entering inSTEM.
Um just from high school goinginto universities and colleges,
(30:51):
they had some limitation.
So these barriers are startingto be removed, and we see more
women and young girls looking toa career in non-traditional
fields because of that.
So these are kind of probablytwo areas, but we still have a
long ways to go.
And it's almost like we have wehave one step forward or two
(31:14):
step forward and then a littlestep back.
I think we're a little bit inthe step back place.
And I want to encourage peoplenot to step back and just
continue.
I know it's not always easy, butum it's still worth it because
you do um contribute in a inyour own special way.
And I think we're gonna gofurther if we're together.
SPEAKER_01 (31:39):
So what what are you seeing that you just said that
you feel like we're steppingback in today's world?
Like what is it?
What's happening?
What are you observing that youmakes you say that?
SPEAKER_00 (31:54):
People don't want to talk about it anymore.
It seems like it's off theradar, and they are maybe they
think they've tried it and ithasn't worked, so they're giving
up.
And it's not super popular inthe conversations anymore.
(32:15):
And I did see that in the lastprobably year.
And I do think that we ought tokeep going uh because we don't
want to leave people behind.
We want everyone to reach theirfull potential, and that
includes all the people workingin non-traditional roles.
SPEAKER_01 (32:35):
I love that.
I love that.
What can you tell um a youngperson, a young woman that
starting off in any field, itdidn't have to be
male-dominated, to gain thatconfidence to to share your
voice in a way that it will beheard?
Um, because I think a lot of thetimes what we lack is that
confidence to to stand up andshow people like this is who I
(32:58):
am.
Because I know that's um I'vegrown into my confidence.
I wasn't always this way, butit's it's really hard.
So, what would you say to toyoung girls or even women our
age who want to start over?
SPEAKER_00 (33:11):
Before I answer this question, I have to say you said
you're building into yourconfidence in your podcast.
You're very confident.
And I love your demeanor, likeyou're so open in all the
conversations.
And that's a very high, I wouldsay that's a very high quality
(33:32):
to have, specifically as youfind your voice, as you said,
uh, and finding your voice whenyou're a podcaster is is a is a
step beyond what people willactually venture to do.
Uh so congratulations on that.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (33:46):
I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_00 (33:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (33:48):
I I hide it well.
I hide behind my nervousnessvery well.
SPEAKER_00 (33:53):
So you're doing fantastic, and you're very open,
like in your voice and tone andall that.
So it's it's great.
Even if you deal with some verycomplicated sometimes uh issues
like that are more personal andand uh you know more difficult.
But I I really think that youhave a very good way about
(34:14):
thinking through what uh willbreak people.
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (34:19):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (34:21):
And the tip I would give, or the you know, the idea
I would give is that you can'tdo it alone and don't accept uh
the commentary that says you canhave everything you want, but
not all at the same time.
I absolutely don't like that.
And the reason for that is whycan I have it all?
(34:41):
Like, why can't I have a goodcareer that challenges me, that
you know goes into my strengths?
And why can't I have the perfectpartner in my life and uh
perfect friends and familyconnections?
Like wish it all and put it allon the docket and put it all on
(35:05):
the docket now.
But you can't do it alone.
You have to find the help youneed, and you have to be humble
and vulnerable to find thatsupport that you need.
And if the support you have inyour life is not the support you
need, you need to figure out away to get out of that support
(35:25):
and find the new one.
And I gave an example early.
My first spouse was not thespouse I had I needed to be able
to be successful in what I wantto do in my life.
And you have I kind of projectedmyself.
I said, Do I want to be there in50 years?
And my answer was no.
So I I I had to, as hard as itwas from a heart perspective, I
(35:48):
had to step out.
And I'm so glad I did becausewe're nearly 20 years later, and
I have two beautiful childrenwith, you know, a spouse that is
right there by my side, and weare super aligned on what we
want about our life.
So yeah, want it all and put itall on the docket at the same
(36:12):
time.
But be be vulnerable and figureout the support that you need uh
to succeed, and um find thesupport in ways that you may not
think so.
You sometimes people willsettle.
It is the daycare that I pickedonly open from whatever nine
(36:34):
o'clock to three o'clock, andI'm working from eight to five.
Well, that's not the support youneed.
Like you need to find someonewho will look after your
children from the time you leaveto the evening.
And uh it might be the next doorneighbor, it might be so be
innovative in finding thesolutions.
Um it might be someone who'sretired next door who can't take
(36:58):
care of them, or like, butreally apply your brains to
remove those barriers that willallow you to be successful.
unknown (37:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (37:08):
And I think sometimes we hide behind those
barriers, like, oh, I can't dothis because of this and this
and this.
Things are gonna be hard foranything that you want.
It's going to be hard.
And I'm giving myself a pep talkbecause I make excuses and I'm
like, well, that can't happenbecause of this.
And it's because of my ownfears.
It's not the truth, right?
It's it's it's something thatI've told myself so that I don't
(37:30):
have to put forth the effortbecause it's scary.
And we're never stuck.
Um, we just it's it's gonna behard to unstick yourself,
unstuck yourself.
I don't know how that is, butbut I love I love that you say
that because it it it couldreconfirms for me that anything
is possible if you just thinkoutside the box and if you
(37:52):
really want it.
So I appreciate that.
Is there anything else you wouldlove to share with us um about
your book, about yourprofession, about anything?
SPEAKER_00 (38:03):
Well, thank you for hosting.
Uh, this is great, and thank youfor the work that you do.
And yeah, look up my book.
It's on Amazon, uh, us and yetand yet.
And it's basically about usworking together, figuring out
how we can do it better.
And how it's it's a journey, andyet and yet is about things that
(38:26):
are not fully complete,something that is gonna still be
evolving, and yet we can do somuch you know together and and
we can evolve together.
So that's the thought of theday, and and I appreciate the
audience for listening.
SPEAKER_01 (38:42):
And do you have a website or your socials?
Would you like to share that?
And then I'll put it in thenotes as well.
SPEAKER_00 (38:47):
Sure, that sounds good.
Yeah, you can find me atasanyet.com.
And uh I do have a little bit ofinformation there.
You can join our mailing mailinglist, and uh I'm certainly open
to having uh different platformsto speak and share my experience
because that's the whole reasonwhy I wrote the book is like
(39:08):
don't be alone.
It was talking about finding thehelp.
I felt like I could help.
So that's why I kind of steppedinto that authorship brain.
SPEAKER_01 (39:18):
I love it.
So if we want to talk to someonewho is a professional woman and
we're scared or we havequestions, you're the girl to
call.
I love it.
I love it.
I really, really appreciate youum coming on.
Um, like I said in thebeginning, I love new voices and
I really, really thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (39:38):
Thank you for hosting it.
SPEAKER_01 (39:40):
Thank you.
Well, hopefully we can talkagain.
Yes, all right.
Bye.
I'll leave you all with this.
Start showing up as her.
Start showing up as the womanyou want to become.
Move with confidence, setboundaries without guilt, and
make decisions from a place ofabundance, not fear.
(40:01):
Speak with authority, invest inyourself and prioritize your
peace.
Elevate your habits, surroundyourself with the people who
inspire you and trust that youare already becoming her.
Every step, every choice, andevery moment is shaping the
(40:23):
version of you that you'vealways envisioned.
Keep going.
Thank you so much for listeningto Virago247.
If you haven't done so already,go ahead and hit that subscribe
button and please give us afive-star rating.
Also, don't forget to follow uson Instagram at Virago24
(40:46):
underscore seven and on Facebookat Virago247.
And just connect with us andshare your story.
We'd love to hear from you.
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