August 27, 2025 • 62 mins
Ever wonder where to draw the line between romantic pursuit and something more alarming? This raw, unfiltered episode tackles a situation that started with a casual mention on our podcast and spiraled into something much more concerning.
When Lyanette received an unexpected email from someone Shiney had gone on just one date with months ago, we decided to address it head-on.
The conversation dives deep into the misconceptions about romance versus stalking, with powerful insights about personal boundaries and why they matter. We explore how seemingly innocent information shared during early dating—your city, your schedule, even your first name—can be pieced together by someone determined to find you. Lyanette's 24-year-old daughter, Kaylin, joins us midway through, offering a younger generation's perspective that's refreshingly direct: rejection is part of dating, and nobody is entitled to your attention after one date.
Most powerfully, we reclaim the narrative around Shiney's happiness. The emailer had attempted to take credit for her "glow," but as she eloquently explains, "My glow is not from any person. I own my glow. I'm glowing and joyful and happy because I choose that." It's a reminder that our joy comes from within, not from external validation or relationships.
Whether you're newly single after years in a relationship or navigating the complexities of modern dating, this conversation offers crucial insights about protecting yourself while staying open to genuine connection. Share your thoughts or your own dating safety tips with us at virago247podcast@gmail.com—just know your email might inspire our next episode!
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Everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors!
Music by Deli Rowe: "Space to Move"
Logo by Kaylin Talley
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, good morning, Welcome to today's recording.
Good afternoon, Hello Shiny,Hello Leonette, so Shiny.
Yes, Before we start, we got tolet our we're calling this a
PSA after school special.
What do we want to call this?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
That we want to clear up some buzz that's been going
around and straighten this outonce and for all.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
We want to make sure that you hear the truth directly
from me.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
That's right.
So what truth are we talkingabout?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
So, for any of you that listened to the last few
episodes, episode Well, actually, if they've been even loyal
listeners, that's right canrelate as well, because because
I've been glowing- you, you are,you have a glow up, and we're
going to tell you why she's aglow up we're going to tell you
(00:58):
where this glow up has come from.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Okay, this is going to make sense in a minute, so
but the what triggered this isthe very last show that was
posted the Divorced and DatingDiaries.
So I posted that show last weekGo and listen if you haven't.
And then this past Friday, Ireceived an email From one of
(01:27):
your loyal listeners.
You think he's loyal?
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I definitely think he's loyal, so this podcast is
just not for women.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
No, come to find out, men listen to this too, hey you
know what?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
We welcome all people .
Speaker 1 (01:42):
All people who are willing to learn and grow, and I
appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
So let me go back to the show.
Some of what we were talkingabout was about dating, and we
were talking about being on theapps and what kind of dates you
and Brianna have been on, and wetalked about one of the people
that you have met once youstarted dating again after your
divorce, and we brieflymentioned a little bit about
(02:12):
this guy showing up at yourhouse uninvited, literally
finding you, because you nevertold him where you live.
But he found out where you livebecause, according to him and
we'll get into this according tohim, this is public um
knowledge, right, anybody canfind where shawnee lives, yes,
or where I live.
If they do their homework andif they really really go deep
(02:35):
diving, they can find where welive.
So that's what he did and hefound her but we.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
But the reason we even brought that all up is to
our, you know, women or menlistening that when you are out
there dating the information yougive out in the beginning, keep
it brief, keep it, and I did.
I kept it tight.
The only thing that I wouldgive and I learned over time not
(03:04):
even to give that is I gave myfirst name, my real first name,
and what city I lived in.
Over time I learned that Idon't even give the city and I
remember people would not bevery nice about it, like you
can't even tell me where youlive and I would say I live near
Duluth or Johns Creek orNorcross.
And I would say I live nearDuluth or Johns Creek or
Norcross.
(03:24):
I would say something like thatbecause I learned over time
that I don't even want to tellthem.
Petrie Corners, you know thatwe're the Real Housewives of
Petrie Corners.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
That's right.
I even have the cup to prove itand the hat, and so so he
decided that he was going toreach out to me and he did in an
email.
He sent it to my virago umemail address and I, which is,
(04:01):
which is public knowledge, thatthat's right, because when I
post it with the podcast and Idon't know, do we want to read
the email?
What do you want to do?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Why we're here today is just in response to what
you've received, and we welcomeresponse.
We welcome, you know, if youhave something to tell us.
That's a that's a way to do it.
So one of our loyal listenerswanted quotes.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
We're saying this in quotes, aren't we?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
wrote, wrote to Leonette and she contacted me
last week and this is this isvery bold of me.
I'm just the fact that I meanI'm on a podcast and I'm sharing
my truth.
All of this because I'm reallytrying to live my authentic life
and be happy and glowing.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
The thing with Shiny is that she's very private,
which is fine, but you arecoming out of that through this
podcast.
We've shared a lot that weprobably normally wouldn't share
.
We share amongst ourselves, butnot on this, on this forum, to
so many people, and so when Isent this email to Shiny, I
(05:33):
didn't know what her responsewas going to be and she, right
away, was very upset and rightaway was like we're talking
about this and I didn't know ifwe should just ignore it,
address it.
But because this has to do withher and she wants to do this is
on, we're going to talk aboutit Because if we're going to be
(05:54):
receiving feedback there'snothing wrong with that Then you
are also putting yourself outthere for us to share it here on
this podcast.
So I'll take it.
You take it from here, shiny.
I don't know if you want toread some of it, all of it.
Do you want to address certainparts of the email?
(06:15):
What do you want to say to thisloyal listener of yours?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
So I don't think we need to read in all of it.
We can just have some responsesto some of the things that were
written.
Um, first off, uh, thank youfor being a loyal listener and
listening to all of the episodes.
Uh, in reference to your email,we can tell that you have been.
(06:46):
You didn't you titled it?
Just Found your Podcast.
But in the email, clearlyyou've been listening for at
least seven months at least,because that's when I met you
and I had said in the previouspodcast that we had met briefly,
(07:09):
we only went on one date, andthat I didn't expect you to go
to the lengths that you did.
That's all truth.
You referenced also that weenjoyed our conversations on the
phone and we had FaceTime.
Yes, but people who know me,I'm a pretty good
(07:34):
conversationalist.
So, yes, we had really goodconversation.
But that's what I want withevery person I meet and I talk
to and I'm friends with.
That is something that is askill that I say that I have.
I don't think it's only a wething.
(07:54):
You and I and I did enjoy theconversations we had.
Yes, and we did get along, as Iwas getting to know you and
you're getting to know me.
But I think where it, where youreferenced that you.
(08:16):
So, leanna, just the part aboutthe glow, do you think you can
mention that, because we've saidthat word so many times, so so
that people listening understandwhat what I was saying?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
So basically, this email just to since we're not
going to read all of it, just tosummarize what it is is him
defending himself, If you goback to the show.
We didn't even mention his name, we didn't even mention details
.
We just said he found her whereshe lives, he would be parked
out there and I called it creepy.
So I guess he took offense tothat.
But in this email he's tryingto defend himself by divulging
way more details that I evenknew about.
(08:53):
So to me I think he was tryingto make himself seem um better
and he made it worse.
So can you tell?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
him.
Can you tell them the referenceof what he did exactly outside,
because he says this was aromantic gesture.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well, let's go back to the glow, cause I'm going to
read this.
This is exactly what it says.
Well, it seems that she leftout some details as she was
reminiscing.
First, let me take you back afew episodes that glow that you
said she had back in yourFebruary podcast.
That was when she and I weretalking.
We had just met and I found herto be very cute, especially
(09:31):
when her nose does thatscrunchie thing.
Anyway, we video chatted acouple of times before we met in
person, and then he goes on tosay other things and then he
mentions the glow again.
Let me find it.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Where did he?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
mention the glow again um.
Let me find it where did hemention the glow?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
there are multiple paragraphs, correct?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
oh, it's it's, it's a , it's a lengthy, it's a lengthy
email, it's quite lengthy.
I can't find, but he mentionsit again, so he's taking credit.
Pretty much I can't find itbecause, um, he's taking credit
for your glow up, because youmet him, you are now glowing.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
And I want to say this for any person that I would
, that I would meet.
I I've said this many timesthat I'm so blessed with the
love and friendship I have in mylife, but with everything that
has happened in my life, thereason I and I've said this so
many times the reason I see somuch joy, is because I know pure
(10:30):
suffering.
The reason I see the light isbecause I was in the dark.
Truly, this happiness and thisjoy and this inner glow I have
is radiating from within me andit's because I'm finally
speaking my truth.
I'm finally standing up formyself in so many different ways
(10:50):
, and this is not to just oneperson or groups of people.
I'm finally doing things that Iwant to do and and honestly,
I'm pissing off people on theway to, which has always
bothered me.
I've always cared what peoplethink of me, which is really
none of my business, but we alldo and I'm trying my best to not
(11:12):
care so much.
But I will say that I disagreewith you.
My glow is not on any person,it is only me on any person.
(11:34):
It is only me.
I own my glow.
I'm glowing and joyful andhappy because I choose that, no
matter what has happened, I havecome out the other side smiling
, glowing, jumping for joy, andI am so thankful for those that
held my hand and picked me upand was there by my side.
But I'm sorry, but no man hasgiven that to me.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
That's right, and listen, we're not trying to
embarrass anybody.
The point of us coming on hereone we were both Shiny was livid
and I was just my mouth justdropped with all the things that
he put in this email, and it'snot to embarrass anybody.
This podcast is about workingon our insides and when we're
(12:26):
confident in who we are and wego on one date and it doesn't
work out, then it doesn't workout.
That's not a reflection on me,it just didn't work out.
But when we have these peoplein this world running around
with low self-esteem, that oneperson decides that this is not
working for me and he goesthrough all this to get your
(12:47):
attention, come to your house,writes you letters, then decides
to email me where I havenothing to do with this shit.
I just know the facts and Icalled it creepy and I stand by
that.
And so let's just start workingon ourselves so that when we
get quote unquote rejected bypeople, that we don't take it
(13:08):
personal, that we don't knowwhat we like as humans, that
each person has walked through.
We don't know what shiny hasgone through, we don't know why
he wasn't a good fit for her.
But keep it moving, dude.
Like what are we doing?
Like what is up with thisTaking credit?
I found it.
It says so I'm thinking we havea little chemistry going on.
(13:29):
And you guys went to dinner andhe says that he is taking
credit, he will take credit forthis glow, a little credit.
And then he goes on to say howhe found you.
So I do want to read that,because let me see Now that I
thought she had a little bit.
So you take, he takes you todinner and then you ghosted him.
(13:52):
Pretty much is what he says.
You ghosted him after a fewcalls, a few FaceTimes, one
dinner.
You don't think he's a good fitfor you, for whatever reason.
It has nothing to do with you,dude, like you're not meant for
everyone, just like I'm notmeant for everyone, just like
shiny is not meant for everybodyand it's okay.
(14:12):
So I want to read what wasn'tmentioned.
Oh wait, let me go back.
Let me go back, then I getghosted right For real this time
.
No exclamation, no, nothing.
A week goes by, still nothing.
So I use my knowledge of realestate to do a little detective
work.
It wasn't difficult to figureout where she lived.
Everything was public.
(14:33):
What wasn't mentioned on thepodcast is how I presented
myself to her.
I did the whole say anything.
So that's a movie from the 80s.
If you guys don't know, look itup.
I did the whole say anythingbit with the trench coat and
holding a boombox over my head.
I'll stop right there.
You guys been on one date andhe shows up to your house, he
(14:54):
finds where you live and this iswhat he does and he's literally
telling me this, like I'msupposed to be like amazed by
this.
But let me keep reading.
I was even playing the songfrom the movie on the boom box.
I quoted Jane Austen to herthrough her ring doorbell.
It was meant to be romantic,not creepy.
Women say men don't pursue anddon't make grand gestures
(15:15):
anymore, but when they dothey're labeled as psychopaths.
But I digress.
And no, I was not prepared togo to jail.
I just knew that was apossibility as I was showing up
unannounced.
She could just as easily callthe police as come to the door.
Okay, a-hole, you didn't callthe police.
So now he's like pretty muchblaming you for not calling the
police.
You could have called, likepretty much blaming you for not
(15:37):
calling the police.
You could have called thepolice, but instead you came to
the door.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Well, so I didn't go to the door.
So what he didn't know, orpeople don't realize, is this is
all a learning curve.
All of this is learning for me,because I was in a relationship
for a long time.
You know, we were together andthen we got married.
So I was in a serious,committed relation for a long
(16:03):
time.
So I haven't dated in ages.
So and I'm and I'm learning.
I didn't have internet actuallywhen I was dating back then, so
for him to think that it's okayand not let me go back.
He remembered what days Ihomeschool, what days I take my
(16:26):
kids to school.
He remembered all these thingsand I I've learned a lesson from
that as well is I don't need totell any person, any person, my
schedule, what I'm doing, where, when I'm, and I don't even
like that, I don't.
I don't think we should.
Everyone needs to knoweverything about you in that way
.
But, first and foremost, I maycome off as super soft and and
(16:55):
and and.
Really my kindness is mistakenfor weakness.
But let me tell you I, when itcomes to my children, I am a mom
and I am a mama bear, and Ithink I was really bothered and
upset because my son happened tobe home that day because he
(17:15):
wasn't feeling well.
My youngest he doesn't knowthis, so he heard the ring
doorbell too.
He heard the music outside.
He was asking me who is that?
What is that?
What's going on?
That's scary and at the time,like you just started dating, so
(17:56):
your boys didn't really knowthat you were even FaceTime
somebody.
So say, I met someone onlinebecause that is the way that is
the easiest avenue to meetpeople.
One of the things I've learnedto do to avoid being catfished,
because that happens that'shappened a handful of times
(18:21):
already to people post a pictureor they talk to you online and
they're not really the personthey say they are.
So one of the things that Ihave learned from one of my
friends is you ask to FaceTimethem so you can see them in real
time, what they, you know whatthey look like, they see what
you look like.
So there's no mystery in that,because we want to be safe.
So, yes, we talked on FaceTime.
And my kids, because they livein the house with me, they have
seen me on the FaceTime and I'vetried to explain why I'm doing
(18:47):
that.
So, yes, so the day he came,that was what happened.
So there was no way and ingeneral, I would never have come
to the door.
You know I would never havecome to the door.
You know I would never havecome to the door I, when he did
that, I I felt my heart racingbecause I had no idea who was
(19:08):
there.
And when I looked through thewindow I got a feeling and
actually he said it because we,so we ended up speaking through
the ring and I asked who it was.
He said who he was and then Iasked what he was doing here and
he said that he was, you know,really there in the name of love
and truthfully, from his side II see that he definitely saw a
(19:33):
real love connection between usand he genuinely liked me.
And I will say that I wasgetting to know him and I
thought he was a nice, goodperson and that's that.
You know I didn't have any illfeelings towards him or anything
.
And the ghosting thing Iapologize, you know that is not
(19:54):
the right way to handle arelationship and, truthfully,
not just ghosts.
I did actually text about it,which I don't like either.
I don't think you should breakup with someone or break things
off or end things over text, butit was really early.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
No, I'm going to stop you right there.
It was one date, so we candebate this one day and you
don't call back.
Call it what you want.
I know this generation likes tocall it ghosting, ghosting,
ghosting, ghosting.
No, it was one date, and if youwe don't talk anymore, then
that there's your clue thatwe're not, we're not moving
(20:31):
forward.
It wasn't like you went on like10 dates.
Then, okay, ghosting.
Okay, let's not do that, let'shave a face to face conversation
.
It was one date and a fewconversations and this is what
is happening, so don't put thaton you.
No, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Okay, thank you.
I just I'm not trying to hurthim.
I'm not.
I wasn't trying to hurt himthen and I'm not even trying to
hurt him now by speaking back.
I truly just want to clearsomething up, which is, you know
, number one that I own my ownhappiness.
I do.
(21:11):
My friends and my kids and myfamily obviously bring so much
joy to my life.
But, truthfully, your happinessis a choice.
It's a decision you make, nomatter what is happening in your
life, and one of the number onequalities you want in a person
is emotional regularity,stability.
(21:32):
So when things happen, badthings happen, upsetting things
happen how quickly am I going tobounce back?
How quickly, you know, can Ibalance and regulate myself and
recognize that?
You know what?
This is the problem and this iswhat I'm going to do over it.
So I wish that for him and II'm.
I never, we never meant toupset him in any way and I'm not
(22:05):
even meaning to upset him withthis.
But another big reason why Iwanted to speak is and this is
just speculation I cannot accusehim of doing this, but shortly
after Leonette posted that shehad new episodes out, you know,
(22:26):
she had new episodes out.
It sends to my story because weare social media friends and I
reposted it and I I will saysocial media is is wonderful
avenue for this, for us toadvertise what we're doing.
But I have been terrible thissummer.
(22:47):
I mean, I was planning to dolike a summer dump of all the
things that happened my son'sbirthday, us traveling, you know
the places we've gone.
That was the plan, because I'mthat's something that really
just backs up in my life.
But when she did that, it'slike she did me a favor.
So I was like, oh, I want topost that.
So I reposted it within 24hours my social media has been
(23:10):
taken down.
I don't have, I don't use toomany um outlets, but I do use
Instagram and I do use Facebookand both of them have been taken
down.
And I got an email Not thatjust if I don't appeal this and
I don't do all these things thatit's going to be permanently
suspended.
I've been suspended and it'sgoing to be permanently deleted
(23:33):
and right now I still can't getin because it keeps telling me I
have the wrong password.
I got to tell you I'm.
I know I'm not alone.
I'm terrible at all thesemillion passwords we have to
have for everything.
So right now, I've been withoutsocial media for about a few a
week, a week, or yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah so I couldn't.
(23:57):
I I knew something was up,because what I was accused of
was preposterous, of what theysaid you know something about
children and it wasn't positive.
So I was flagged for that and Icould not.
I kept thinking someone musthave flagged me or somebody must
(24:17):
have reported, because this isodd.
My, my, my page is prettyboring.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
The stuff that you post are cooking and your meals
and your children, your boys,and when you travel, and that's
pretty much it, like that's it.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, it's a.
I would say it's a prettyboring page, you know, compared
to others.
So, but it is my page and Ifeel like slighted here by you
know, and if you did do thisthat's not nice nice, you know.
(25:01):
So I it.
Just the timing of it is why,why I think that there that you
are responsible for that is, youdidn't like that that was
posted and maybe you were upsetand so you you flagged me, but
not cool.
Not cool, bruh.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
So what do we learn from this story?
As you continue on this datingpath that you're on, so what
I've learned is he's absolutelyright.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Anybody can find out anything.
And let me tell you what I did,and I also don't say that
anyone should do what I did.
I spoke to him through the ring.
My first instinct was I need toget him away from the home,
because I felt very protectiveover that.
(25:46):
And you know, I have teenagers,but they're still my children,
my babies.
So I told him to meet me, meetme somewhere, and that I would.
And I picked a public place andI said meet me at this place,
and so that he would go, becauseI didn't know how I could get
(26:07):
him to go.
He was.
He was bent on meeting me,seeing me.
And you're right.
Many people say why didn't shecall the cops?
Why should you know?
They're absolutely right.
I think that was probably theright thing to do and he said it
, didn't he say it?
He said it.
That that's what I should havedone.
(26:28):
But you know, I'm kind of ascaredy cat and and and and I
don't really like know what todo right in the moment of when I
should do it.
And I didn't have a bravemoment.
My, you know, my, my kid, myoldest, even said that that's
what I should have done and he'sright.
So I met him and I tried tojust tell him.
(26:52):
You know, I I really justlistened to him and let him
speak and he told me, he exactlygave me a detailed description
of how exactly he found me.
You know, going to the countyrecords and finding out my, my
um, my ex um, my ex-husband'sname, he went through his name,
(27:16):
attached it to me.
He went to some.
I couldn't believe it.
I just listened the whole timeof how he found it.
And he's absolutely right.
Anybody if they really have awill to do it, they'll do it.
But please don't.
If you're dating a person andit doesn't work out, however
(27:37):
they let you know, just take itas you know what.
There's a reason we met andthere's a reason we're not going
to be together and work it outyourself.
Somehow I am, I'm, I'm, I'm,I'm hurt, like that, you know,
and I think what really bothersme is this isn't just it.
(28:00):
You, you know, you sent lettersto my.
You found my email address,which also I never gave you.
You sent me, you know, letter,letter in the mail, in the, in
my mailing, that you mailed me aletter.
You emailed me a letter.
Now you're contacting the ownerof the podcast, who's my friend
, so it's too much.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
You think Just a little bit right, just a little
much.
And I don't know what thepurpose of his email was.
I know it feels like he wantedto redeem himself and to, for
whatever reason, clear his name,quote, unquote because I don't
know what you were trying toprove to me, because I don't
give a shit, like I really don't.
(28:46):
And the thing is like I knewthis happened.
I didn't know all the details.
When it happened, shiny told meabout it.
I was like, stay away from thisguy.
And I was legit saying, hey,what is what does he drive, so
that I can be on the lookout, soI'm protective of you.
So when you told me all thesethings you know that was between
us like you didn't even divulgeany of this on the podcast for
(29:07):
for him to want to contact meand divulge all these details
that we didn't even share, and Ipersonally didn't even know all
the details.
I knew the gist of everything.
So thank you for moreinformation so that you know I'm
going to keep this, just incase we ever need to use it,
because this is scary.
(29:28):
As women, we shouldn't have tobe afraid to reject your asses
not just you, but you're onewoman out of all these women
that go through this daily.
A man gets rejected, theirlittle eagles are bruised and
you guys need to go figure thatshit out.
Now I'm getting pissed.
Now you guys need to go figurethat shit out.
(29:48):
Maybe do a little counseling,maybe some self-help books or
something.
Pray to God and maybe God canchange your heart.
Because to go to these lengthsto harass a woman that doesn't
want you, like that is tellingto me, and your little email did
nothing but make it worse.
And now I'm pissed.
(30:09):
I'm pissed for my friend andI'm pissed for all the women
that have to go through this.
We're all trying to find love.
I know you're trying to findlove, dude.
I know you are.
She wasn't it.
Let's keep it moving.
Like we don't have to go tothese great lengths and this
whole like oh, I thought it wasromantic After one date.
That shit is not romantic.
Maybe if you had gone on 10dates, 20 dates, it doesn't go
(30:34):
well.
Then you bring in this wholelike say anything spiel that you
did.
You don't do that.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
After date number one and only if they you know what.
I don't even encourage it atall.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
I don't either, but I'm trying to give them
something.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Yeah, but not knowing where I live.
Yeah, but ultimately the thingI am is very protective over my
kids.
So coming to your home, yourplace of residence, is a no
Uninvited.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
So if he does that shit again, we call in the po-po
.
My brother's a police officer,We'll call him real quick and
he'll send his homies towherever.
So don't be afraid, Shiny Likefor real, don't be afraid.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
And, honestly, we live in a neighborhood.
You know that everyone doeslook out for each other.
Because I will tell, I willshare a funny little story.
You know, because this is adating journey and somebody that
was waiting for me outside withpermission was waiting outside
(31:37):
for me in his car and theneighbor called the cops on him.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Oh, I don't think I knew that.
Yeah, oh no, really yes, thecops came.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Yes, good, good yes.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
I mean not good, but good yeah, that's what I'm
watching.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
So the funny thing is my son's like he's like that
neighbor's got aura wait.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
What does that mean?
Is that a?
Is that?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
yeah, like uh good vibes oh, okay, I gotcha yeah,
like they're, they're goodpeople, okay, they're looking
out.
So, you know, even though itwas with my you know, he he
really was just, he was justwaiting.
You know, we were waiting forthe kids to go to bed so that we
could hang out, which I'm I'mhuman too, you know it's.
(32:25):
It's an interesting time todaybecause you kind of feel like
teenagers now that I have toeven worry, like my kids are the
adults now that I'm like hidingfrom or trying to like date
it's.
It's, it's goofy, you know, butit was innocent.
But I and, and honestly I, Isent the neighbor an email that
same night which he read thenext day, and I explained myself
(32:47):
that this is somebody that I'm,you know, you know, fyi, just,
you know, we've gotten divorcedand I am dating.
You know, it's not somethingyou go around telling everybody.
So, you know, and that personwas, you know, a safe person and
he's a good person, and hecompletely was like all
apologetic because he justdidn't know.
And I don't, I don't know, noproblem, you know what they were
(33:09):
doing, what they think theyshould do.
You know, I would have probablyappreciated that that morning.
I would have probablyappreciated that that morning,
but the unfortunate thing wasthis person that this pod, this
episode, is dedicated to todayOur biggest fan, our number one
fan of the week he told me heeither he got up at 430 or he
(33:29):
was there at 430.
He only came to the door ateight.
I can't remember exactly thestory, but something I just
remember 430 because I rememberthinking whoa.
So because he lived far away.
I think he lived about twohours away from me, yeah, so
this was something that he, youknow he, he put a lot of thought
(33:50):
in to it.
Unfortunately, it didn't go outthe way he wanted.
But you know, I'm, I'm, I'magain, I'm sorry, but it didn't.
It doesn't work for me, not, not, not going to happen, and it's
definitely not going to bring mecloser to.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, no, I want to know, because he did ask me a
question.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Let me find the question.
I know, lena, we have like a.
We have a guest here that hasoh wait, can we put her on the
mic?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
oh, yeah, sure.
So we have, um, as I'm lookingfor this, okay, so after he did,
did, after you ghosted him,right, or yeah, you, you.
So I'm thinking we have alittle chemistry going, okay, so
then the following day shedisappears.
No communication, no, nothing.
(34:44):
So I ask you, if you thoughtyou had chemistry with someone,
then they just disappear with noexplanation, wouldn't you
wonder what happened?
Of course you would.
And then he goes on to tell mewhat he did.
He came to the house.
You don't do that, you don't dothat, okay.
So you want to ask me what Iwould do?
I wouldn't, I wouldn't do thewhole say anything that.
(35:06):
So my question to you is whydid you think this was okay?
Like I answered your question,you're no, I wouldn't do that.
Yes, I'd be curious, but Iwouldn't do that.
And what made you think thatthis was going to be like
well-received and please don'tdo this to anybody else.
Just don't do it ever, everagain To say anything, just
(35:31):
don't.
No, all right, kaylin, okay,kaylin is here.
She is my 24-year-old, right.
Ok, kaylin is here.
She is my 24 year old daughter,hi, and she is invested in this
story.
So what say you?
Speaker 3 (35:41):
So many feelings.
Ok, if you're going to do thisand you're going to commit a
crime and trespass on somebody'sland, don't write a written
confession with your signed nameon it.
That's just my two cents onthat, to be completely honest.
Why?
Why would you think that's justmy two cents on that, to be
completely honest?
Why?
Why would you think that's agood idea?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
literally because I know this is pissing us off,
isn't it, can we?
Talk about the latin I feellike we should bring up the
latin.
Okay, so we end.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
We end the email with so he signs his full name.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
you sign your full name, which is which I didn't
even know your name, because weuse nicknames for all dates, all
of our guys that we are dating.
We have code names for everybody, so I didn't even know your
government name to begin with,dude, yes, yes, I love that.
(36:34):
Yeah, this is what takes usback to high school, because in
high school we had names foreverybody.
Everybody had a nickname.
We never called them, becausethen we could talk about them in
front of them.
So, as 40 year old women, we dothe same shit still, which is
wonderful.
So thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
okay, go ahead we're Taylor Swifting, yes.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
All right.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
So he signs the government name.
So he signs his name and thensays Cognito ergo sum, nec
temere de monim amor hominiavenison.
(37:13):
So it's three lines in Latin,three different lines in Latin,
and they all mean differentthings.
I knew.
Cognitur go sum.
I don't understand why youwrote that or how it's relevant
to anything.
It's I think.
Therefore, I am, and it's likea.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Yeah, so what was the definition?
Speaker 3 (37:35):
Cognitur go sum.
I think, therefore, I am.
So rene descarte deces I don'tknow, people say it differently
he had like an existentialcrisis way back in the day and
he was like, ah, I can't tell ifanything's real.
And then he realized, okay, I'mreal because I'm thinking about
myself and that's all I know.
So I think, therefore, I am.
(37:55):
The next one means the next.
The next two lines are relevant.
And then the second line's alittle bit scary.
It roughly translated to don'tfear demons.
We're not really sure what youmean by that.
I don't know.
I don't know why you broughtthat up.
(38:16):
The last line is love conquersall.
That's a little bit strong.
That's a little bit strong forthis.
I'm not gonna lie, um, but likeat least it's relevant I love
your input.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
I'm sorry I read your latin translation.
I thank you so much for ourguests coming in and translating
the latin that was in the email.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
She loves languages.
She loves languages like I do,and so this the thing is listen,
we're not passing this aroundto laugh at you, but it is from
a female's perspective.
This is what we're thinking,and we're trying to help you.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
Oh yeah, no, they're not passing it around.
I'm definitely judging.
I'm not going to lie to you, Idon't have any.
I don't have a dog in thisfight.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
This is just wild um the reason I you took our young,
my youngest, your sistersomewhere and I was like, oh,
it's because shiny's coming overand we're doing this impromptu
emergency podcast and this iswhy and read this, and so you
just read it today, so you'rehaving lots of emotions.
I didn't know any of this it'sthe emotions that I felt on
(39:28):
friday when I read it myself.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
Yeah, I didn't know.
Yeah, I didn't know any of this.
I didn't uh know that there wasdown the street.
There was a whole uh renditionof say anything with a real
boombox, um at eight in themorning, at eight in the morning
, I thought this was at night no, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Well, the thing is, um that my mistake was to.
You know, I gave like a kind ofa schedule and I recognize I I
do that, like I'll say, my kidsgo to school on these days and I
homeschool on these days.
So he came on to to to yourbenefit.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Like you don't think that someone's going to use that
against you when you're justsharing, you know you don't
think someone's going to likeclock your schedule and, like,
have it inked on their brain sothat they can harass you Seven
months Like so well, no, um, he,you know he showed up, um, you
know, a few months ago.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
That's why the problem is is that it's I think
you know us talking justmentioning that somebody showed
up my house without me knowing.
That's all really what we didand that we said it was creepy.
That you know he wanted todefend himself that he's not a
stalker and he's not creepy.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
I mean, he is a stalker.
That's the definition of soccerwhen you find someone where you
find where someone liveswithout them telling you that's.
That's what stalking is thankyou.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
So I, just I I had he came on that day, on that
particular day, because he knewmy kids are in school, so but I,
like I said, my son was homefrom school that day.
He wasn't feeling well, so Ithink I was doubly afraid.
I was, you know, because Iwasn't alone and my kid was
(41:24):
there.
So that that made I think thatthat was really the biggest
problem for me is not only didhe, you know, he showed up
unannounced, but you know, I wasafraid because I was there with
my kids and that's somethingthat I took.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
I didn't take well and dude, we would not even be
talking about this.
We really wouldn't.
It was one second of us, oneminute of us talking about
dating apps and Chineseexperience, and this would never
even happen if we hadn't gottenthat email.
But what is the definition of astalker To?
Speaker 3 (41:58):
pursue or approach stealthily is one, or to harass
or persecute someone withunwanted and obsessive attention
so that's what's happening.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Yeah, the letters, the emails, the finding where
you live um.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
I think it fits into that once again these, that's
not cute, these are literalcrimes.
Like you you can take, okay,chinese, chinese too nice to
take you to court for this.
But like you can, like you havea written confession, bro.
Like, why are you doing this?
Um, it's like not even good atstalking, sorry, take that out
no as no.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Like you're in this whole dating world and you're on
apps, so this is a psa for allages.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
Yeah, I mean um.
I mean I'm 20 I'm not yeah,like I'm not as careful.
I just be showing up places, tobe completely honest.
Um, it's just gonna be how it'sgonna be.
Um, I'm still alive, though, sothat's pretty good.
Um, but yeah, people are I'vegotten some obsessive ones that
(43:06):
are weird, who?
But yeah, it's like what?
What you give them at first,because if you give them a
number, if you get them withyounger generation, we have like
Snapchat and that kind of thing, which is easier to block
people.
But if somebody has your phonenumber, going through the court
records is wild, because you canreally just look up where
(43:28):
someone lives based on theirphone number.
He took the hard way, which iswild.
It is really wild.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Well, we're a little older and we used to go to the
library to do research, sothat's where our mind is.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Well, actually.
So I did a research of my nameafter that to see, you know, and
I think every person should dothat.
Put your name in the internet.
See what you find out about me.
So, how he found my last name,he told me that as well and I'm
going to I'll share that.
How he found my last name washe, you know, he wrote, he was,
uh, he, you know, he wrote.
(44:03):
He wrote in the, in the blankpart that said he wrote shiny,
he wrote Petri Corners, and whatcame up was, um, actually Petri
Corners magazine, and rememberI got featured for one of the
recipes.
So that is how he, you know,and it has my picture and my
name and that is how he found mylast name.
(44:24):
And then, um, I think that's howhe started with that direction,
and then he got my last name.
And then, um, I think that'show he started with that
direction, and then he got mylast name, found my, you know,
my ex, you know.
So he did tell me that and, andit is true, when you look it up
, you know, because I meanpastry corners is it's, it's a
city in georgia.
That's really all I had said,but I I've learned now not even
(44:46):
to give that.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
Wow, which is like wild.
At least he's an honest stalker, I know.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
He goes through so much work.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
He wants to feel some type of validation like oh, I
did all this work for you, whydon't you like me?
Like, oh, I did all this workfor you, why don't you like me?
Which?
So with guys on dating apps,they don't get as many matches
as women.
I think it's when you know youhave and you're a little, when
you're a little touch starvedand a little desperate and you
(45:18):
like have, oh, there's this onebeautiful woman and we get along
and we know that you got to.
You can't hang up your hopes onone person, especially when you
you're online.
I have a rule of thumb of likeeight out of ten people you go
out with are going to be prettybad, they're gonna be shit, um,
but like two people, they'regonna be great and you might
keep up with them for a coupleof months and then stuff happens
(45:38):
, whatever.
But like when you, you gottalet it go like you said you
gotta let it go Like you saidyou got to let it go.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
And you're absolutely right, so I've learned that as
well.
With these apps, a guy can getyou know a handful and a woman
can get somewhere between 100 to1,000 matches.
Like it's insane, yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
And you know, you kind of feel for the men that
are trying to find love too,because that's all we all want
as humans is to feel connection,and to be loved, and and and to
love.
Speaker 3 (46:05):
And so I get it and it sucks, but this is not the
way to go, yeah and it's like um, but it's easier for a woman,
like when you have all thehandful there, you're gonna be
more likely to get a few craziesin there well.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Thank you, kaylin, because you you really helped.
Um helped explain some of thethings, especially translating
the latin for us.
Speaker 3 (46:26):
I just uh, it's just like, um, it's a.
This is the type of personbecause I'm making a lot of
judgments here, you're notmaking judgments by um it's like
the type of person who wants tothink that they're smart.
He wants you to think thatthey're smart and, like, puts
their sort of self-worth on,like, oh, I'm kind of better
(46:47):
everybody, because I read janeausten and I know latin.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
It's like, uh, you okay, so to clear that up, he,
he I don't think he's a jane.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
He knows that I.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
He knows that I am yeah no, I know that I am, which
is which is why one of theletters that I received I forgot
if it's the one that I got inthe mail or the one I got in
email.
They might have been both.
He wrote it in that old Englishway.
Speaker 3 (47:15):
He mentioned that he wrote it in the style of Jane
Austen.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
Yes, he wrote it in the style, so you know that was
another romantic gesture that hewent to do for me.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Don't give him that.
I love Kayla.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
I feel like, yes, she has a part of me in her.
I'm like she has a part of mein her, because this is how I'm
feeling.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
Let's burn the village.
No, like you're not talking topeople who?
No, I'm saying to him it was aromantic gesture, Not not for me
, but for him.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
But again, I, you know me, I'm, I'm we.
We didn't get together here toslam him.
Unfortunately it seems like it,but and he may take it, not in
a positive- way but please don't, please don't and forget me,
please.
Speaker 3 (48:10):
And if you don't, we will call the cop next time Like
you will be arrested.
We have a written signconfession that you've done this
before.
If you do it twice, that'sextra.
That is a repeat offense Likethis is not.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Well, he did and he did, and the email saying he's
not listening to more of theshows, seriously doubt that I
you know, okay, um, I think it'slike a thing that he thinks
that here's the thing I thinkit's like gonna be like, oh, I'm
not gonna listen to it, andthen, like a month from now,
he's gonna be like shaking.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
Like I gotta, I gotta hear what they said.
I know they talked about me andlike you have a whole episode
on you.
Congrats, you got the attentionyou wanted.
Like do you feel better?
You badass, kaylin, you badass,I'm just being real.
Thank you for joining.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
Listen, she's only 24 , but she's been through some
things with relationships lately.
Speaker 3 (49:06):
So she must.
No, it's only 24, but she'sbeen through some things with
relationships lately.
So, she, she, she, she, she,she, she, she, she, she, she,
she, she, she, she, she, she,she, she, she, she, she, she,
she, she, she, she, she, she,she, she, she, she, she, she,
she, she, she, she, she, she,she, she, she, she, she, she,
she, she, she, she, she, shebody's in the same boat.
Like this is the year like of abig break.
It's like years long somebody Imet somebody who just got out
(49:27):
of a decade long relationship,two year long relationship.
It's like it's oh, it's a weirdenergy um, that 2025 has,
especially since it like reallydid all start at the beginning
of the year and then the rest isjust finding yourself and
getting back to yourself, andthese people aren't making it
(49:48):
easier.
They're really not.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
I love that you jumped in, thank you.
Thank you for that.
Speaker 3 (49:59):
This was good Sitting here this whole time.
Let me read the entire emailactually Like I'm not going to,
but if they let me, I me readthe entire email actually like
I'm not going to, but they letme, I would.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
You saw my face, yeah which, without reading the
entire email.
What would you like to sharethat we haven't shared?
Speaker 3 (50:17):
yet I, um, we already , we already talked about it,
you guys already talked about it, but I would like to reiterate
taking credit for Shani's glow.
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are thatyou can take credit for this
amazing woman's beauty andpresence that can't even be
(50:40):
dimmed by you and your efforts?
Bro, like, what the heck?
Why would you even think that'sokay?
You and your one date broughther out of the depression.
Okay, like, no, like, that'snot.
That's just not okay.
Like, like shiny needs a personwho is able to respect that and,
you know, maybe add to it.
(51:01):
But like you got to have yourown thing going on.
Like you can't be going intopeople's life and say that's
just a guilt trip, right thereto be like actually I'm the one.
That's a manipulation tactic.
Like I, you should be happybecause I came around when you
were happy, so it must beassociated with me.
Like you were lucky to even seea glimpse of that.
(51:23):
Like, much less take credit forit.
Like, come on, um, and toreiterate yes, I'm sure you had
a great time.
Everyone has a great time withshiny.
She's amazing.
Like you're there, you're nevergonna have a bad conversation
with her Again.
(51:44):
That's just I understand.
I understand the impulse ofbeing like you want more of that
because you are an amazingperson, that's true, and you're
a great conversationalist andyou make everybody feel great,
and some people don't deserve it, but that's just how good
people are.
Thank you so much, of course,Love you girl, no problem,
(52:07):
someone ghosts you.
It hurts, just keep going, man.
Just keep, just keep it pushing.
You thought you had chemistry?
Obviously not.
Why'd you message him?
Why'd you message him after afew days?
He was probably obsessive andjust like messaging, messaging,
messaging, messaging after a fewdays he was probably obsessive
and just like messaging,messaging, messaging, messaging.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Well, um no, I, I, but I did, I, I did learn that
you know you have to blockeverybody so I mean block
somebody who's you know who is,just to end it.
So I did learn that and it wasa good lesson.
It it's not in our character,because we, our generation,
didn't do that, because I'veeven gotten all my kids about
you know that kind of stuff, butfor this it.
(52:48):
It makes a clean break yeah sothat is really what I did, but
it didn't mean any harm.
Speaker 3 (52:54):
yeah, on the other hand, uh, on the other, like my
default is to ghost people,which is not great, but um, I've
it's hard because I'm learningthat I never had the practice of
having the hard conversations.
When you have that connectionwith somebody that doesn't end
up going anywhere.
So I don't know how to havethat conversation and just
(53:16):
recently, like I feel like Ihurt somebody's feelings because
we were doing good, but I'mlike I'm realizing that I just
want to be friends and I don'tknow how to say that out loud,
so it's a skill literally whatyou just said.
Speaker 1 (53:28):
Hey, this is.
You know, I really like you asa friend.
Oh my god, I had many of thoseconversations growing up I.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
I will say that, uh, if my my, if my memory is is is
correct, I actually, after thetext that was sent, we he did
actually call me and we talkedon the phone, so I did have to
say it in in words as well.
So I, I did, you know I did.
It wasn't over text, you know I, so it was both.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
Yeah, you know you do not have to explain yourself,
yeah and every time you say Imade a mistake, he made so many
mistakes.
You were just fine, you werejust putting yourself out there
yeah, so we're.
Speaker 2 (54:09):
We're really today's not just about sharing what my
story and and giving a littlebit of background for it, but
it's also a psa to to my, to myfriends.
Out there are our wonderfulloyal listeners that just be
careful.
Dating is awesome and it can befun and great, but it also has
(54:31):
to be your.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
Your safety matters yeah, I would be the worst dater
.
I would be the worst daterbecause, with the confidence and
the wisdom that I have today oh, watch out.
Like I would have grabbed thatboombox and chucked it across
(54:54):
the freaking street andhopefully broke into little
pieces.
That's what I would have done.
But that's just me.
Yeah, I'm a little feisty.
Speaker 3 (55:04):
Stand in your ground me yeah, I'm a little feisty.
Stand in your ground, though.
Yeah.
I think the only part wehaven't talked about I think we
talked about and to reiterate,multiple paragraphs 1, 2, 3, 4,
5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12paragraphs in this email which
is ooh.
Paragraphs uh in this emailwhich is oh, um.
(55:30):
But I think the only one wehaven't talked about is the last
one, um, where he's like Iwould have given her the moon
and the stars and throughhellfire for her one date, my
dude one date, uh, and I justwanted to say I'm not a
psychopath or a stalker, I'm adecent guy.
Once she said she didn't wantto see me anymore, I left her
alone.
That's what the.
(55:53):
When you see that no one'sgetting back to you after a
couple days, that means shedoesn't want to see you anymore.
Speaker 2 (56:00):
Just, that's just a heads up, just that's just a
heads up and just to referencetiming, that date was in
February and we are at the endof August.
Speaker 3 (56:12):
No no, no, the email is this week, but like how long
ago was the boombox February, oh, that was in February.
Yes, oh, and you're stillthinking about it.
Speaker 2 (56:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:25):
Well, he's listening to us, which we appreciate and
listen.
I don't want the fact that heemailed me to deter anybody else
.
Virago247podcast at gmail,because I do love interacting
with anybody who's listening.
I really want no, I we welcomeall feedback, we do, and I love
(56:46):
the feedback.
So, virago247podcast atgmailcom.
If you have any comments,questions, concerns, absolutely,
we're here for you.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
You're right.
Speaker 3 (56:57):
You might get an episode.
That's another announcement.
Yes, yes, you may get your ownepisode.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (57:02):
I think it's fabulous .
Yes, please, we encouragefeedback.
We can, we.
We are always growing andlearning, and that's what that
you know.
This is, this is always.
It's a life lesson.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for listening to myum your ted talk and I really
(57:23):
want my socials back.
So, if instagram and facebookare listening, I didn't do any
of the any.
Speaker 1 (57:29):
Anything bad, no and okay, that's another thing,
that's another whatever.
Before I wrap this up, whywouldn't they do their work like
they're just gonna get a?
Statement, they flag it andthen they check it later, when
later it's been a week, checkthe shit and you see that she
doesn't have anything that she'sbeen accused of.
Speaker 3 (57:50):
It's ridiculous they have a whole thing.
I mean, I kind of get it,because there is so much bad
stuff on Facebook, don't theyhave a?
Speaker 1 (58:00):
department that works this stuff out.
Speaker 3 (58:02):
Yeah, you'll get it back, it's going to be fine.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
You're going to get it back or you'll just start
stronger and better.
So I thank you, shiny, thankyou, kaylin, for giving us your
two cents.
We appreciate that.
Oh, of course, and anythingelse you want to say before we
end this shiny like the sun.
Speaker 2 (58:28):
I was just.
I was looking.
You know, we always end the ourepisodes with a, with a
beautiful quote, and Iimmediately was thinking of what
we could end it with.
And you know, the creep byRadiohead.
I'm going to read a few lines.
I'm a creep and I'm a weirdo.
(58:49):
What the hell am I doing here?
no, I don't belong here, and Idon't care if it hurts, because
I want to have control.
Oh, I want a perfect body and Iwant a perfect soul.
I want you to notice when I'mnot around.
You think you're so special.
I wish that I was special andyou know what.
Speaker 3 (59:08):
They wrote a song about it.
They didn't go to somebody'shouse and play.
They put their feelings intoart, something productive like
get a hobby you know, I wish wehad.
Speaker 2 (59:20):
I wish we had a latin response oh my, my God, that'd
be so awesome.
Speaker 1 (59:24):
Oh, Kaylin, can you find something real quick that
would?
Speaker 3 (59:27):
be actually even better.
You're the Latin.
Can I quickly get a Latinresponse?
Yes, you can.
Speaker 2 (59:34):
I have one.
You do yeah, and I want to sayit's one that Gio gave me, but
it's actually really good.
Speaker 1 (59:39):
Okay, what is it?
Speaker 2 (59:40):
Can you hear me it?
Um, you hear me?
Um, this is a.
This is uh.
This is a quote that I'mborrowing uh, geo loves this one
.
It's called a more fatay it's.
This phrase means embracingeverything, the good, the bad,
the painful, as necessary partsof your story.
It's not just acceptance, it'schoosing to love what shaped you
(01:00:04):
.
Some things didn't happen tobreak you.
They happened to build you.
Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
I found one.
All right, what's yours?
Absent enneria means no offense.
Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
Oh, my gosh, kaylin, and we're going to end on that.
We're going to end on that.
Love you guys.
Thanks for being here Untilnext time.
Bye.
Hello, good morning, Welcome to today's recording.
Good afternoon, Hello Shiny,Hello Leonette, so Shiny.
Yes, Before we start, we got tolet our we're calling this a
PSA after school special.
What do we want to call this?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
That we want to clear up some buzz that's been going
around and straighten this outonce and for all.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
We want to make sure that you hear the truth directly
from me.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
That's right.
So what truth are we talkingabout?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
So, for any of you that listened to the last few
episodes, episode Well, actually, if they've been even loyal
listeners, that's right canrelate as well, because because
I've been glowing- you, you are,you have a glow up, and we're
going to tell you why she's aglow up we're going to tell you
(00:58):
where this glow up has come from.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Okay, this is going to make sense in a minute, so
but the what triggered this isthe very last show that was
posted the Divorced and DatingDiaries.
So I posted that show last weekGo and listen if you haven't.
And then this past Friday, Ireceived an email From one of
(01:27):
your loyal listeners.
You think he's loyal?
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I definitely think he's loyal, so this podcast is
just not for women.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
No, come to find out, men listen to this too, hey you
know what?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
We welcome all people .
Speaker 1 (01:42):
All people who are willing to learn and grow, and I
appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
So let me go back to the show.
Some of what we were talkingabout was about dating, and we
were talking about being on theapps and what kind of dates you
and Brianna have been on, and wetalked about one of the people
that you have met once youstarted dating again after your
divorce, and we brieflymentioned a little bit about
(02:12):
this guy showing up at yourhouse uninvited, literally
finding you, because you nevertold him where you live.
But he found out where you livebecause, according to him and
we'll get into this according tohim, this is public um
knowledge, right, anybody canfind where shawnee lives, yes,
or where I live.
If they do their homework andif they really really go deep
(02:35):
diving, they can find where welive.
So that's what he did and hefound her but we.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
But the reason we even brought that all up is to
our, you know, women or menlistening that when you are out
there dating the information yougive out in the beginning, keep
it brief, keep it, and I did.
I kept it tight.
The only thing that I wouldgive and I learned over time not
(03:04):
even to give that is I gave myfirst name, my real first name,
and what city I lived in.
Over time I learned that Idon't even give the city and I
remember people would not bevery nice about it, like you
can't even tell me where youlive and I would say I live near
Duluth or Johns Creek orNorcross.
And I would say I live nearDuluth or Johns Creek or
Norcross.
(03:24):
I would say something like thatbecause I learned over time
that I don't even want to tellthem.
Petrie Corners, you know thatwe're the Real Housewives of
Petrie Corners.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
That's right.
I even have the cup to prove itand the hat, and so so he
decided that he was going toreach out to me and he did in an
email.
He sent it to my virago umemail address and I, which is,
(04:01):
which is public knowledge, thatthat's right, because when I
post it with the podcast and Idon't know, do we want to read
the email?
What do you want to do?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Why we're here today is just in response to what
you've received, and we welcomeresponse.
We welcome, you know, if youhave something to tell us.
That's a that's a way to do it.
So one of our loyal listenerswanted quotes.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
We're saying this in quotes, aren't we?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
wrote, wrote to Leonette and she contacted me
last week and this is this isvery bold of me.
I'm just the fact that I meanI'm on a podcast and I'm sharing
my truth.
All of this because I'm reallytrying to live my authentic life
and be happy and glowing.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
The thing with Shiny is that she's very private,
which is fine, but you arecoming out of that through this
podcast.
We've shared a lot that weprobably normally wouldn't share
.
We share amongst ourselves, butnot on this, on this forum, to
so many people, and so when Isent this email to Shiny, I
(05:33):
didn't know what her responsewas going to be and she, right
away, was very upset and rightaway was like we're talking
about this and I didn't know ifwe should just ignore it,
address it.
But because this has to do withher and she wants to do this is
on, we're going to talk aboutit Because if we're going to be
(05:54):
receiving feedback there'snothing wrong with that Then you
are also putting yourself outthere for us to share it here on
this podcast.
So I'll take it.
You take it from here, shiny.
I don't know if you want toread some of it, all of it.
Do you want to address certainparts of the email?
(06:15):
What do you want to say to thisloyal listener of yours?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
So I don't think we need to read in all of it.
We can just have some responsesto some of the things that were
written.
Um, first off, uh, thank youfor being a loyal listener and
listening to all of the episodes.
Uh, in reference to your email,we can tell that you have been.
(06:46):
You didn't you titled it?
Just Found your Podcast.
But in the email, clearlyyou've been listening for at
least seven months at least,because that's when I met you
and I had said in the previouspodcast that we had met briefly,
(07:09):
we only went on one date, andthat I didn't expect you to go
to the lengths that you did.
That's all truth.
You referenced also that weenjoyed our conversations on the
phone and we had FaceTime.
Yes, but people who know me,I'm a pretty good
(07:34):
conversationalist.
So, yes, we had really goodconversation.
But that's what I want withevery person I meet and I talk
to and I'm friends with.
That is something that is askill that I say that I have.
I don't think it's only a wething.
(07:54):
You and I and I did enjoy theconversations we had.
Yes, and we did get along, as Iwas getting to know you and
you're getting to know me.
But I think where it, where youreferenced that you.
(08:16):
So, leanna, just the part aboutthe glow, do you think you can
mention that, because we've saidthat word so many times, so so
that people listening understandwhat what I was saying?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
So basically, this email just to since we're not
going to read all of it, just tosummarize what it is is him
defending himself, If you goback to the show.
We didn't even mention his name, we didn't even mention details
.
We just said he found her whereshe lives, he would be parked
out there and I called it creepy.
So I guess he took offense tothat.
But in this email he's tryingto defend himself by divulging
way more details that I evenknew about.
(08:53):
So to me I think he was tryingto make himself seem um better
and he made it worse.
So can you tell?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
him.
Can you tell them the referenceof what he did exactly outside,
because he says this was aromantic gesture.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well, let's go back to the glow, cause I'm going to
read this.
This is exactly what it says.
Well, it seems that she leftout some details as she was
reminiscing.
First, let me take you back afew episodes that glow that you
said she had back in yourFebruary podcast.
That was when she and I weretalking.
We had just met and I found herto be very cute, especially
(09:31):
when her nose does thatscrunchie thing.
Anyway, we video chatted acouple of times before we met in
person, and then he goes on tosay other things and then he
mentions the glow again.
Let me find it.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Where did he?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
mention the glow again um.
Let me find it where did hemention the glow?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
there are multiple paragraphs, correct?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
oh, it's it's, it's a , it's a lengthy, it's a lengthy
email, it's quite lengthy.
I can't find, but he mentionsit again, so he's taking credit.
Pretty much I can't find itbecause, um, he's taking credit
for your glow up, because youmet him, you are now glowing.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
And I want to say this for any person that I would
, that I would meet.
I I've said this many timesthat I'm so blessed with the
love and friendship I have in mylife, but with everything that
has happened in my life, thereason I and I've said this so
many times the reason I see somuch joy, is because I know pure
(10:30):
suffering.
The reason I see the light isbecause I was in the dark.
Truly, this happiness and thisjoy and this inner glow I have
is radiating from within me andit's because I'm finally
speaking my truth.
I'm finally standing up formyself in so many different ways
(10:50):
, and this is not to just oneperson or groups of people.
I'm finally doing things that Iwant to do and and honestly,
I'm pissing off people on theway to, which has always
bothered me.
I've always cared what peoplethink of me, which is really
none of my business, but we alldo and I'm trying my best to not
(11:12):
care so much.
But I will say that I disagreewith you.
My glow is not on any person,it is only me on any person.
(11:34):
It is only me.
I own my glow.
I'm glowing and joyful andhappy because I choose that, no
matter what has happened, I havecome out the other side smiling
, glowing, jumping for joy, andI am so thankful for those that
held my hand and picked me upand was there by my side.
But I'm sorry, but no man hasgiven that to me.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
That's right, and listen, we're not trying to
embarrass anybody.
The point of us coming on hereone we were both Shiny was livid
and I was just my mouth justdropped with all the things that
he put in this email, and it'snot to embarrass anybody.
This podcast is about workingon our insides and when we're
(12:26):
confident in who we are and wego on one date and it doesn't
work out, then it doesn't workout.
That's not a reflection on me,it just didn't work out.
But when we have these peoplein this world running around
with low self-esteem, that oneperson decides that this is not
working for me and he goesthrough all this to get your
(12:47):
attention, come to your house,writes you letters, then decides
to email me where I havenothing to do with this shit.
I just know the facts and Icalled it creepy and I stand by
that.
And so let's just start workingon ourselves so that when we
get quote unquote rejected bypeople, that we don't take it
(13:08):
personal, that we don't knowwhat we like as humans, that
each person has walked through.
We don't know what shiny hasgone through, we don't know why
he wasn't a good fit for her.
But keep it moving, dude.
Like what are we doing?
Like what is up with thisTaking credit?
I found it.
It says so I'm thinking we havea little chemistry going on.
(13:29):
And you guys went to dinner andhe says that he is taking
credit, he will take credit forthis glow, a little credit.
And then he goes on to say howhe found you.
So I do want to read that,because let me see Now that I
thought she had a little bit.
So you take, he takes you todinner and then you ghosted him.
(13:52):
Pretty much is what he says.
You ghosted him after a fewcalls, a few FaceTimes, one
dinner.
You don't think he's a good fitfor you, for whatever reason.
It has nothing to do with you,dude, like you're not meant for
everyone, just like I'm notmeant for everyone, just like
shiny is not meant for everybodyand it's okay.
(14:12):
So I want to read what wasn'tmentioned.
Oh wait, let me go back.
Let me go back, then I getghosted right For real this time
.
No exclamation, no, nothing.
A week goes by, still nothing.
So I use my knowledge of realestate to do a little detective
work.
It wasn't difficult to figureout where she lived.
Everything was public.
(14:33):
What wasn't mentioned on thepodcast is how I presented
myself to her.
I did the whole say anything.
So that's a movie from the 80s.
If you guys don't know, look itup.
I did the whole say anythingbit with the trench coat and
holding a boombox over my head.
I'll stop right there.
You guys been on one date andhe shows up to your house, he
(14:54):
finds where you live and this iswhat he does and he's literally
telling me this, like I'msupposed to be like amazed by
this.
But let me keep reading.
I was even playing the songfrom the movie on the boom box.
I quoted Jane Austen to herthrough her ring doorbell.
It was meant to be romantic,not creepy.
Women say men don't pursue anddon't make grand gestures
(15:15):
anymore, but when they dothey're labeled as psychopaths.
But I digress.
And no, I was not prepared togo to jail.
I just knew that was apossibility as I was showing up
unannounced.
She could just as easily callthe police as come to the door.
Okay, a-hole, you didn't callthe police.
So now he's like pretty muchblaming you for not calling the
police.
You could have called, likepretty much blaming you for not
(15:37):
calling the police.
You could have called thepolice, but instead you came to
the door.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Well, so I didn't go to the door.
So what he didn't know, orpeople don't realize, is this is
all a learning curve.
All of this is learning for me,because I was in a relationship
for a long time.
You know, we were together andthen we got married.
So I was in a serious,committed relation for a long
(16:03):
time.
So I haven't dated in ages.
So and I'm and I'm learning.
I didn't have internet actuallywhen I was dating back then, so
for him to think that it's okayand not let me go back.
He remembered what days Ihomeschool, what days I take my
(16:26):
kids to school.
He remembered all these thingsand I I've learned a lesson from
that as well is I don't need totell any person, any person, my
schedule, what I'm doing, where, when I'm, and I don't even
like that, I don't.
I don't think we should.
Everyone needs to knoweverything about you in that way
.
But, first and foremost, I maycome off as super soft and and
(16:55):
and and.
Really my kindness is mistakenfor weakness.
But let me tell you I, when itcomes to my children, I am a mom
and I am a mama bear, and Ithink I was really bothered and
upset because my son happened tobe home that day because he
(17:15):
wasn't feeling well.
My youngest he doesn't knowthis, so he heard the ring
doorbell too.
He heard the music outside.
He was asking me who is that?
What is that?
What's going on?
That's scary and at the time,like you just started dating, so
(17:56):
your boys didn't really knowthat you were even FaceTime
somebody.
So say, I met someone onlinebecause that is the way that is
the easiest avenue to meetpeople.
One of the things I've learnedto do to avoid being catfished,
because that happens that'shappened a handful of times
(18:21):
already to people post a pictureor they talk to you online and
they're not really the personthey say they are.
So one of the things that Ihave learned from one of my
friends is you ask to FaceTimethem so you can see them in real
time, what they, you know whatthey look like, they see what
you look like.
So there's no mystery in that,because we want to be safe.
So, yes, we talked on FaceTime.
And my kids, because they livein the house with me, they have
seen me on the FaceTime and I'vetried to explain why I'm doing
(18:47):
that.
So, yes, so the day he came,that was what happened.
So there was no way and ingeneral, I would never have come
to the door.
You know I would never havecome to the door.
You know I would never havecome to the door I, when he did
that, I I felt my heart racingbecause I had no idea who was
(19:08):
there.
And when I looked through thewindow I got a feeling and
actually he said it because we,so we ended up speaking through
the ring and I asked who it was.
He said who he was and then Iasked what he was doing here and
he said that he was, you know,really there in the name of love
and truthfully, from his side II see that he definitely saw a
(19:33):
real love connection between usand he genuinely liked me.
And I will say that I wasgetting to know him and I
thought he was a nice, goodperson and that's that.
You know I didn't have any illfeelings towards him or anything
.
And the ghosting thing Iapologize, you know that is not
(19:54):
the right way to handle arelationship and, truthfully,
not just ghosts.
I did actually text about it,which I don't like either.
I don't think you should breakup with someone or break things
off or end things over text, butit was really early.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
No, I'm going to stop you right there.
It was one date, so we candebate this one day and you
don't call back.
Call it what you want.
I know this generation likes tocall it ghosting, ghosting,
ghosting, ghosting.
No, it was one date, and if youwe don't talk anymore, then
that there's your clue thatwe're not, we're not moving
(20:31):
forward.
It wasn't like you went on like10 dates.
Then, okay, ghosting.
Okay, let's not do that, let'shave a face to face conversation
.
It was one date and a fewconversations and this is what
is happening, so don't put thaton you.
No, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Okay, thank you.
I just I'm not trying to hurthim.
I'm not.
I wasn't trying to hurt himthen and I'm not even trying to
hurt him now by speaking back.
I truly just want to clearsomething up, which is, you know
, number one that I own my ownhappiness.
I do.
(21:11):
My friends and my kids and myfamily obviously bring so much
joy to my life.
But, truthfully, your happinessis a choice.
It's a decision you make, nomatter what is happening in your
life, and one of the number onequalities you want in a person
is emotional regularity,stability.
(21:32):
So when things happen, badthings happen, upsetting things
happen how quickly am I going tobounce back?
How quickly, you know, can Ibalance and regulate myself and
recognize that?
You know what?
This is the problem and this iswhat I'm going to do over it.
So I wish that for him and II'm.
I never, we never meant toupset him in any way and I'm not
(22:05):
even meaning to upset him withthis.
But another big reason why Iwanted to speak is and this is
just speculation I cannot accusehim of doing this, but shortly
after Leonette posted that shehad new episodes out, you know,
(22:26):
she had new episodes out.
It sends to my story because weare social media friends and I
reposted it and I I will saysocial media is is wonderful
avenue for this, for us toadvertise what we're doing.
But I have been terrible thissummer.
(22:47):
I mean, I was planning to dolike a summer dump of all the
things that happened my son'sbirthday, us traveling, you know
the places we've gone.
That was the plan, because I'mthat's something that really
just backs up in my life.
But when she did that, it'slike she did me a favor.
So I was like, oh, I want topost that.
So I reposted it within 24hours my social media has been
(23:10):
taken down.
I don't have, I don't use toomany um outlets, but I do use
Instagram and I do use Facebookand both of them have been taken
down.
And I got an email Not thatjust if I don't appeal this and
I don't do all these things thatit's going to be permanently
suspended.
I've been suspended and it'sgoing to be permanently deleted
(23:33):
and right now I still can't getin because it keeps telling me I
have the wrong password.
I got to tell you I'm.
I know I'm not alone.
I'm terrible at all thesemillion passwords we have to
have for everything.
So right now, I've been withoutsocial media for about a few a
week, a week, or yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah so I couldn't.
(23:57):
I I knew something was up,because what I was accused of
was preposterous, of what theysaid you know something about
children and it wasn't positive.
So I was flagged for that and Icould not.
I kept thinking someone musthave flagged me or somebody must
(24:17):
have reported, because this isodd.
My, my, my page is prettyboring.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
The stuff that you post are cooking and your meals
and your children, your boys,and when you travel, and that's
pretty much it, like that's it.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, it's a.
I would say it's a prettyboring page, you know, compared
to others.
So, but it is my page and Ifeel like slighted here by you
know, and if you did do thisthat's not nice nice, you know.
(25:01):
So I it.
Just the timing of it is why,why I think that there that you
are responsible for that is, youdidn't like that that was
posted and maybe you were upsetand so you you flagged me, but
not cool.
Not cool, bruh.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
So what do we learn from this story?
As you continue on this datingpath that you're on, so what
I've learned is he's absolutelyright.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Anybody can find out anything.
And let me tell you what I did,and I also don't say that
anyone should do what I did.
I spoke to him through the ring.
My first instinct was I need toget him away from the home,
because I felt very protectiveover that.
(25:46):
And you know, I have teenagers,but they're still my children,
my babies.
So I told him to meet me, meetme somewhere, and that I would.
And I picked a public place andI said meet me at this place,
and so that he would go, becauseI didn't know how I could get
(26:07):
him to go.
He was.
He was bent on meeting me,seeing me.
And you're right.
Many people say why didn't shecall the cops?
Why should you know?
They're absolutely right.
I think that was probably theright thing to do and he said it
, didn't he say it?
He said it.
That that's what I should havedone.
(26:28):
But you know, I'm kind of ascaredy cat and and and and I
don't really like know what todo right in the moment of when I
should do it.
And I didn't have a bravemoment.
My, you know, my, my kid, myoldest, even said that that's
what I should have done and he'sright.
So I met him and I tried tojust tell him.
(26:52):
You know, I I really justlistened to him and let him
speak and he told me, he exactlygave me a detailed description
of how exactly he found me.
You know, going to the countyrecords and finding out my, my
um, my ex um, my ex-husband'sname, he went through his name,
(27:16):
attached it to me.
He went to some.
I couldn't believe it.
I just listened the whole timeof how he found it.
And he's absolutely right.
Anybody if they really have awill to do it, they'll do it.
But please don't.
If you're dating a person andit doesn't work out, however
(27:37):
they let you know, just take itas you know what.
There's a reason we met andthere's a reason we're not going
to be together and work it outyourself.
Somehow I am, I'm, I'm, I'm,I'm hurt, like that, you know,
and I think what really bothersme is this isn't just it.
(28:00):
You, you know, you sent lettersto my.
You found my email address,which also I never gave you.
You sent me, you know, letter,letter in the mail, in the, in
my mailing, that you mailed me aletter.
You emailed me a letter.
Now you're contacting the ownerof the podcast, who's my friend
, so it's too much.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
You think Just a little bit right, just a little
much.
And I don't know what thepurpose of his email was.
I know it feels like he wantedto redeem himself and to, for
whatever reason, clear his name,quote, unquote because I don't
know what you were trying toprove to me, because I don't
give a shit, like I really don't.
(28:46):
And the thing is like I knewthis happened.
I didn't know all the details.
When it happened, shiny told meabout it.
I was like, stay away from thisguy.
And I was legit saying, hey,what is what does he drive, so
that I can be on the lookout, soI'm protective of you.
So when you told me all thesethings you know that was between
us like you didn't even divulgeany of this on the podcast for
(29:07):
for him to want to contact meand divulge all these details
that we didn't even share, and Ipersonally didn't even know all
the details.
I knew the gist of everything.
So thank you for moreinformation so that you know I'm
going to keep this, just incase we ever need to use it,
because this is scary.
(29:28):
As women, we shouldn't have tobe afraid to reject your asses
not just you, but you're onewoman out of all these women
that go through this daily.
A man gets rejected, theirlittle eagles are bruised and
you guys need to go figure thatshit out.
Now I'm getting pissed.
Now you guys need to go figurethat shit out.
(29:48):
Maybe do a little counseling,maybe some self-help books or
something.
Pray to God and maybe God canchange your heart.
Because to go to these lengthsto harass a woman that doesn't
want you, like that is tellingto me, and your little email did
nothing but make it worse.
And now I'm pissed.
(30:09):
I'm pissed for my friend andI'm pissed for all the women
that have to go through this.
We're all trying to find love.
I know you're trying to findlove, dude.
I know you are.
She wasn't it.
Let's keep it moving.
Like we don't have to go tothese great lengths and this
whole like oh, I thought it wasromantic After one date.
That shit is not romantic.
Maybe if you had gone on 10dates, 20 dates, it doesn't go
(30:34):
well.
Then you bring in this wholelike say anything spiel that you
did.
You don't do that.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
After date number one and only if they you know what.
I don't even encourage it atall.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
I don't either, but I'm trying to give them
something.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Yeah, but not knowing where I live.
Yeah, but ultimately the thingI am is very protective over my
kids.
So coming to your home, yourplace of residence, is a no
Uninvited.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
So if he does that shit again, we call in the po-po
.
My brother's a police officer,We'll call him real quick and
he'll send his homies towherever.
So don't be afraid, Shiny Likefor real, don't be afraid.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
And, honestly, we live in a neighborhood.
You know that everyone doeslook out for each other.
Because I will tell, I willshare a funny little story.
You know, because this is adating journey and somebody that
was waiting for me outside withpermission was waiting outside
(31:37):
for me in his car and theneighbor called the cops on him.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Oh, I don't think I knew that.
Yeah, oh no, really yes, thecops came.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Yes, good, good yes.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
I mean not good, but good yeah, that's what I'm
watching.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
So the funny thing is my son's like he's like that
neighbor's got aura wait.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
What does that mean?
Is that a?
Is that?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
yeah, like uh good vibes oh, okay, I gotcha yeah,
like they're, they're goodpeople, okay, they're looking
out.
So, you know, even though itwas with my you know, he he
really was just, he was justwaiting.
You know, we were waiting forthe kids to go to bed so that we
could hang out, which I'm I'mhuman too, you know it's.
(32:25):
It's an interesting time todaybecause you kind of feel like
teenagers now that I have toeven worry, like my kids are the
adults now that I'm like hidingfrom or trying to like date
it's.
It's, it's goofy, you know, butit was innocent.
But I and, and honestly I, Isent the neighbor an email that
same night which he read thenext day, and I explained myself
(32:47):
that this is somebody that I'm,you know, you know, fyi, just,
you know, we've gotten divorcedand I am dating.
You know, it's not somethingyou go around telling everybody.
So, you know, and that personwas, you know, a safe person and
he's a good person, and hecompletely was like all
apologetic because he justdidn't know.
And I don't, I don't know, noproblem, you know what they were
(33:09):
doing, what they think theyshould do.
You know, I would have probablyappreciated that that morning.
I would have probablyappreciated that that morning,
but the unfortunate thing wasthis person that this pod, this
episode, is dedicated to todayOur biggest fan, our number one
fan of the week he told me heeither he got up at 430 or he
(33:29):
was there at 430.
He only came to the door ateight.
I can't remember exactly thestory, but something I just
remember 430 because I rememberthinking whoa.
So because he lived far away.
I think he lived about twohours away from me, yeah, so
this was something that he, youknow he, he put a lot of thought
(33:50):
in to it.
Unfortunately, it didn't go outthe way he wanted.
But you know, I'm, I'm, I'magain, I'm sorry, but it didn't.
It doesn't work for me, not, not, not going to happen, and it's
definitely not going to bring mecloser to.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, no, I want to know, because he did ask me a
question.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Let me find the question.
I know, lena, we have like a.
We have a guest here that hasoh wait, can we put her on the
mic?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
oh, yeah, sure.
So we have, um, as I'm lookingfor this, okay, so after he did,
did, after you ghosted him,right, or yeah, you, you.
So I'm thinking we have alittle chemistry going, okay, so
then the following day shedisappears.
No communication, no, nothing.
(34:44):
So I ask you, if you thoughtyou had chemistry with someone,
then they just disappear with noexplanation, wouldn't you
wonder what happened?
Of course you would.
And then he goes on to tell mewhat he did.
He came to the house.
You don't do that, you don't dothat, okay.
So you want to ask me what Iwould do?
I wouldn't, I wouldn't do thewhole say anything that.
(35:06):
So my question to you is whydid you think this was okay?
Like I answered your question,you're no, I wouldn't do that.
Yes, I'd be curious, but Iwouldn't do that.
And what made you think thatthis was going to be like
well-received and please don'tdo this to anybody else.
Just don't do it ever, everagain To say anything, just
(35:31):
don't.
No, all right, kaylin, okay,kaylin is here.
She is my 24-year-old, right.
Ok, kaylin is here.
She is my 24 year old daughter,hi, and she is invested in this
story.
So what say you?
Speaker 3 (35:41):
So many feelings.
Ok, if you're going to do thisand you're going to commit a
crime and trespass on somebody'sland, don't write a written
confession with your signed nameon it.
That's just my two cents onthat, to be completely honest.
Why?
Why would you think that's justmy two cents on that, to be
completely honest?
Why?
Why would you think that's agood idea?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
literally because I know this is pissing us off,
isn't it, can we?
Talk about the latin I feellike we should bring up the
latin.
Okay, so we end.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
We end the email with so he signs his full name.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
you sign your full name, which is which I didn't
even know your name, because weuse nicknames for all dates, all
of our guys that we are dating.
We have code names for everybody, so I didn't even know your
government name to begin with,dude, yes, yes, I love that.
(36:34):
Yeah, this is what takes usback to high school, because in
high school we had names foreverybody.
Everybody had a nickname.
We never called them, becausethen we could talk about them in
front of them.
So, as 40 year old women, we dothe same shit still, which is
wonderful.
So thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
okay, go ahead we're Taylor Swifting, yes.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
All right.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
So he signs the government name.
So he signs his name and thensays Cognito ergo sum, nec
temere de monim amor hominiavenison.
(37:13):
So it's three lines in Latin,three different lines in Latin,
and they all mean differentthings.
I knew.
Cognitur go sum.
I don't understand why youwrote that or how it's relevant
to anything.
It's I think.
Therefore, I am, and it's likea.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Yeah, so what was the definition?
Speaker 3 (37:35):
Cognitur go sum.
I think, therefore, I am.
So rene descarte deces I don'tknow, people say it differently
he had like an existentialcrisis way back in the day and
he was like, ah, I can't tell ifanything's real.
And then he realized, okay, I'mreal because I'm thinking about
myself and that's all I know.
So I think, therefore, I am.
(37:55):
The next one means the next.
The next two lines are relevant.
And then the second line's alittle bit scary.
It roughly translated to don'tfear demons.
We're not really sure what youmean by that.
I don't know.
I don't know why you broughtthat up.
(38:16):
The last line is love conquersall.
That's a little bit strong.
That's a little bit strong forthis.
I'm not gonna lie, um, but likeat least it's relevant I love
your input.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
I'm sorry I read your latin translation.
I thank you so much for ourguests coming in and translating
the latin that was in the email.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
She loves languages.
She loves languages like I do,and so this the thing is listen,
we're not passing this aroundto laugh at you, but it is from
a female's perspective.
This is what we're thinking,and we're trying to help you.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
Oh yeah, no, they're not passing it around.
I'm definitely judging.
I'm not going to lie to you, Idon't have any.
I don't have a dog in thisfight.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
This is just wild um the reason I you took our young,
my youngest, your sistersomewhere and I was like, oh,
it's because shiny's coming overand we're doing this impromptu
emergency podcast and this iswhy and read this, and so you
just read it today, so you'rehaving lots of emotions.
I didn't know any of this it'sthe emotions that I felt on
(39:28):
friday when I read it myself.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
Yeah, I didn't know.
Yeah, I didn't know any of this.
I didn't uh know that there wasdown the street.
There was a whole uh renditionof say anything with a real
boombox, um at eight in themorning, at eight in the morning
, I thought this was at night no, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Well, the thing is, um that my mistake was to.
You know, I gave like a kind ofa schedule and I recognize I I
do that, like I'll say, my kidsgo to school on these days and I
homeschool on these days.
So he came on to to to yourbenefit.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Like you don't think that someone's going to use that
against you when you're justsharing, you know you don't
think someone's going to likeclock your schedule and, like,
have it inked on their brain sothat they can harass you Seven
months Like so well, no, um, he,you know he showed up, um, you
know, a few months ago.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
That's why the problem is is that it's I think
you know us talking justmentioning that somebody showed
up my house without me knowing.
That's all really what we didand that we said it was creepy.
That you know he wanted todefend himself that he's not a
stalker and he's not creepy.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
I mean, he is a stalker.
That's the definition of soccerwhen you find someone where you
find where someone liveswithout them telling you that's.
That's what stalking is thankyou.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
So I, just I I had he came on that day, on that
particular day, because he knewmy kids are in school, so but I,
like I said, my son was homefrom school that day.
He wasn't feeling well, so Ithink I was doubly afraid.
I was, you know, because Iwasn't alone and my kid was
(41:24):
there.
So that that made I think thatthat was really the biggest
problem for me is not only didhe, you know, he showed up
unannounced, but you know, I wasafraid because I was there with
my kids and that's somethingthat I took.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
I didn't take well and dude, we would not even be
talking about this.
We really wouldn't.
It was one second of us, oneminute of us talking about
dating apps and Chineseexperience, and this would never
even happen if we hadn't gottenthat email.
But what is the definition of astalker To?
Speaker 3 (41:58):
pursue or approach stealthily is one, or to harass
or persecute someone withunwanted and obsessive attention
so that's what's happening.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Yeah, the letters, the emails, the finding where
you live um.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
I think it fits into that once again these, that's
not cute, these are literalcrimes.
Like you you can take, okay,chinese, chinese too nice to
take you to court for this.
But like you can, like you havea written confession, bro.
Like, why are you doing this?
Um, it's like not even good atstalking, sorry, take that out
no as no.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Like you're in this whole dating world and you're on
apps, so this is a psa for allages.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
Yeah, I mean um.
I mean I'm 20 I'm not yeah,like I'm not as careful.
I just be showing up places, tobe completely honest.
Um, it's just gonna be how it'sgonna be.
Um, I'm still alive, though, sothat's pretty good.
Um, but yeah, people are I'vegotten some obsessive ones that
(43:06):
are weird, who?
But yeah, it's like what?
What you give them at first,because if you give them a
number, if you get them withyounger generation, we have like
Snapchat and that kind of thing, which is easier to block
people.
But if somebody has your phonenumber, going through the court
records is wild, because you canreally just look up where
(43:28):
someone lives based on theirphone number.
He took the hard way, which iswild.
It is really wild.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Well, we're a little older and we used to go to the
library to do research, sothat's where our mind is.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Well, actually.
So I did a research of my nameafter that to see, you know, and
I think every person should dothat.
Put your name in the internet.
See what you find out about me.
So, how he found my last name,he told me that as well and I'm
going to I'll share that.
How he found my last name washe, you know, he wrote, he was,
uh, he, you know, he wrote.
(44:03):
He wrote in the, in the blankpart that said he wrote shiny,
he wrote Petri Corners, and whatcame up was, um, actually Petri
Corners magazine, and rememberI got featured for one of the
recipes.
So that is how he, you know,and it has my picture and my
name and that is how he found mylast name.
(44:24):
And then, um, I think that's howhe started with that direction,
and then he got my last name.
And then, um, I think that'show he started with that
direction, and then he got mylast name, found my, you know,
my ex, you know.
So he did tell me that and, andit is true, when you look it up
, you know, because I meanpastry corners is it's, it's a
city in georgia.
That's really all I had said,but I I've learned now not even
(44:46):
to give that.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
Wow, which is like wild.
At least he's an honest stalker, I know.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
He goes through so much work.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
He wants to feel some type of validation like oh, I
did all this work for you, whydon't you like me?
Like, oh, I did all this workfor you, why don't you like me?
Which?
So with guys on dating apps,they don't get as many matches
as women.
I think it's when you know youhave and you're a little, when
you're a little touch starvedand a little desperate and you
(45:18):
like have, oh, there's this onebeautiful woman and we get along
and we know that you got to.
You can't hang up your hopes onone person, especially when you
you're online.
I have a rule of thumb of likeeight out of ten people you go
out with are going to be prettybad, they're gonna be shit, um,
but like two people, they'regonna be great and you might
keep up with them for a coupleof months and then stuff happens
(45:38):
, whatever.
But like when you, you gottalet it go like you said you
gotta let it go Like you saidyou got to let it go.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
And you're absolutely right, so I've learned that as
well.
With these apps, a guy can getyou know a handful and a woman
can get somewhere between 100 to1,000 matches.
Like it's insane, yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
And you know, you kind of feel for the men that
are trying to find love too,because that's all we all want
as humans is to feel connection,and to be loved, and and and to
love.
Speaker 3 (46:05):
And so I get it and it sucks, but this is not the
way to go, yeah and it's like um, but it's easier for a woman,
like when you have all thehandful there, you're gonna be
more likely to get a few craziesin there well.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Thank you, kaylin, because you you really helped.
Um helped explain some of thethings, especially translating
the latin for us.
Speaker 3 (46:26):
I just uh, it's just like, um, it's a.
This is the type of personbecause I'm making a lot of
judgments here, you're notmaking judgments by um it's like
the type of person who wants tothink that they're smart.
He wants you to think thatthey're smart and, like, puts
their sort of self-worth on,like, oh, I'm kind of better
(46:47):
everybody, because I read janeausten and I know latin.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
It's like, uh, you okay, so to clear that up, he,
he I don't think he's a jane.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
He knows that I.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
He knows that I am yeah no, I know that I am, which
is which is why one of theletters that I received I forgot
if it's the one that I got inthe mail or the one I got in
email.
They might have been both.
He wrote it in that old Englishway.
Speaker 3 (47:15):
He mentioned that he wrote it in the style of Jane
Austen.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
Yes, he wrote it in the style, so you know that was
another romantic gesture that hewent to do for me.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Don't give him that.
I love Kayla.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
I feel like, yes, she has a part of me in her.
I'm like she has a part of mein her, because this is how I'm
feeling.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
Let's burn the village.
No, like you're not talking topeople who?
No, I'm saying to him it was aromantic gesture, Not not for me
, but for him.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
But again, I, you know me, I'm, I'm we.
We didn't get together here toslam him.
Unfortunately it seems like it,but and he may take it, not in
a positive- way but please don't, please don't and forget me,
please.
Speaker 3 (48:10):
And if you don't, we will call the cop next time Like
you will be arrested.
We have a written signconfession that you've done this
before.
If you do it twice, that'sextra.
That is a repeat offense Likethis is not.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Well, he did and he did, and the email saying he's
not listening to more of theshows, seriously doubt that I
you know, okay, um, I think it'slike a thing that he thinks
that here's the thing I thinkit's like gonna be like, oh, I'm
not gonna listen to it, andthen, like a month from now,
he's gonna be like shaking.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
Like I gotta, I gotta hear what they said.
I know they talked about me andlike you have a whole episode
on you.
Congrats, you got the attentionyou wanted.
Like do you feel better?
You badass, kaylin, you badass,I'm just being real.
Thank you for joining.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
Listen, she's only 24 , but she's been through some
things with relationships lately.
Speaker 3 (49:06):
So she must.
No, it's only 24, but she'sbeen through some things with
relationships lately.
So, she, she, she, she, she,she, she, she, she, she, she,
she, she, she, she, she, she,she, she, she, she, she, she,
she, she, she, she, she, she,she, she, she, she, she, she,
she, she, she, she, she, she,she, she, she, she, she, she,
she, she, she, she, she, shebody's in the same boat.
Like this is the year like of abig break.
It's like years long somebody Imet somebody who just got out
(49:27):
of a decade long relationship,two year long relationship.
It's like it's oh, it's a weirdenergy um, that 2025 has,
especially since it like reallydid all start at the beginning
of the year and then the rest isjust finding yourself and
getting back to yourself, andthese people aren't making it
(49:48):
easier.
They're really not.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
I love that you jumped in, thank you.
Thank you for that.
Speaker 3 (49:59):
This was good Sitting here this whole time.
Let me read the entire emailactually Like I'm not going to,
but if they let me, I me readthe entire email actually like
I'm not going to, but they letme, I would.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
You saw my face, yeah which, without reading the
entire email.
What would you like to sharethat we haven't shared?
Speaker 3 (50:17):
yet I, um, we already , we already talked about it,
you guys already talked about it, but I would like to reiterate
taking credit for Shani's glow.
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are thatyou can take credit for this
amazing woman's beauty andpresence that can't even be
(50:40):
dimmed by you and your efforts?
Bro, like, what the heck?
Why would you even think that'sokay?
You and your one date broughther out of the depression.
Okay, like, no, like, that'snot.
That's just not okay.
Like, like shiny needs a personwho is able to respect that and,
you know, maybe add to it.
(51:01):
But like you got to have yourown thing going on.
Like you can't be going intopeople's life and say that's
just a guilt trip, right thereto be like actually I'm the one.
That's a manipulation tactic.
Like I, you should be happybecause I came around when you
were happy, so it must beassociated with me.
Like you were lucky to even seea glimpse of that.
(51:23):
Like, much less take credit forit.
Like, come on, um, and toreiterate yes, I'm sure you had
a great time.
Everyone has a great time withshiny.
She's amazing.
Like you're there, you're nevergonna have a bad conversation
with her Again.
(51:44):
That's just I understand.
I understand the impulse ofbeing like you want more of that
because you are an amazingperson, that's true, and you're
a great conversationalist andyou make everybody feel great,
and some people don't deserve it, but that's just how good
people are.
Thank you so much, of course,Love you girl, no problem,
(52:07):
someone ghosts you.
It hurts, just keep going, man.
Just keep, just keep it pushing.
You thought you had chemistry?
Obviously not.
Why'd you message him?
Why'd you message him after afew days?
He was probably obsessive andjust like messaging, messaging,
messaging, messaging after a fewdays he was probably obsessive
and just like messaging,messaging, messaging, messaging.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Well, um no, I, I, but I did, I, I did learn that
you know you have to blockeverybody so I mean block
somebody who's you know who is,just to end it.
So I did learn that and it wasa good lesson.
It it's not in our character,because we, our generation,
didn't do that, because I'veeven gotten all my kids about
you know that kind of stuff, butfor this it.
(52:48):
It makes a clean break yeah sothat is really what I did, but
it didn't mean any harm.
Speaker 3 (52:54):
yeah, on the other hand, uh, on the other, like my
default is to ghost people,which is not great, but um, I've
it's hard because I'm learningthat I never had the practice of
having the hard conversations.
When you have that connectionwith somebody that doesn't end
up going anywhere.
So I don't know how to havethat conversation and just
(53:16):
recently, like I feel like Ihurt somebody's feelings because
we were doing good, but I'mlike I'm realizing that I just
want to be friends and I don'tknow how to say that out loud,
so it's a skill literally whatyou just said.
Speaker 1 (53:28):
Hey, this is.
You know, I really like you asa friend.
Oh my god, I had many of thoseconversations growing up I.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
I will say that, uh, if my my, if my memory is is is
correct, I actually, after thetext that was sent, we he did
actually call me and we talkedon the phone, so I did have to
say it in in words as well.
So I, I did, you know I did.
It wasn't over text, you know I, so it was both.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
Yeah, you know you do not have to explain yourself,
yeah and every time you say Imade a mistake, he made so many
mistakes.
You were just fine, you werejust putting yourself out there
yeah, so we're.
Speaker 2 (54:09):
We're really today's not just about sharing what my
story and and giving a littlebit of background for it, but
it's also a psa to to my, to myfriends.
Out there are our wonderfulloyal listeners that just be
careful.
Dating is awesome and it can befun and great, but it also has
(54:31):
to be your.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
Your safety matters yeah, I would be the worst dater
.
I would be the worst daterbecause, with the confidence and
the wisdom that I have today oh, watch out.
Like I would have grabbed thatboombox and chucked it across
(54:54):
the freaking street andhopefully broke into little
pieces.
That's what I would have done.
But that's just me.
Yeah, I'm a little feisty.
Speaker 3 (55:04):
Stand in your ground me yeah, I'm a little feisty.
Stand in your ground, though.
Yeah.
I think the only part wehaven't talked about I think we
talked about and to reiterate,multiple paragraphs 1, 2, 3, 4,
5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12paragraphs in this email which
is ooh.
Paragraphs uh in this emailwhich is oh, um.
(55:30):
But I think the only one wehaven't talked about is the last
one, um, where he's like Iwould have given her the moon
and the stars and throughhellfire for her one date, my
dude one date, uh, and I justwanted to say I'm not a
psychopath or a stalker, I'm adecent guy.
Once she said she didn't wantto see me anymore, I left her
alone.
That's what the.
(55:53):
When you see that no one'sgetting back to you after a
couple days, that means shedoesn't want to see you anymore.
Speaker 2 (56:00):
Just, that's just a heads up, just that's just a
heads up and just to referencetiming, that date was in
February and we are at the endof August.
Speaker 3 (56:12):
No no, no, the email is this week, but like how long
ago was the boombox February, oh, that was in February.
Yes, oh, and you're stillthinking about it.
Speaker 2 (56:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:25):
Well, he's listening to us, which we appreciate and
listen.
I don't want the fact that heemailed me to deter anybody else
.
Virago247podcast at gmail,because I do love interacting
with anybody who's listening.
I really want no, I we welcomeall feedback, we do, and I love
(56:46):
the feedback.
So, virago247podcast atgmailcom.
If you have any comments,questions, concerns, absolutely,
we're here for you.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
You're right.
Speaker 3 (56:57):
You might get an episode.
That's another announcement.
Yes, yes, you may get your ownepisode.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (57:02):
I think it's fabulous .
Yes, please, we encouragefeedback.
We can, we.
We are always growing andlearning, and that's what that
you know.
This is, this is always.
It's a life lesson.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for listening to myum your ted talk and I really
(57:23):
want my socials back.
So, if instagram and facebookare listening, I didn't do any
of the any.
Speaker 1 (57:29):
Anything bad, no and okay, that's another thing,
that's another whatever.
Before I wrap this up, whywouldn't they do their work like
they're just gonna get a?
Statement, they flag it andthen they check it later, when
later it's been a week, checkthe shit and you see that she
doesn't have anything that she'sbeen accused of.
Speaker 3 (57:50):
It's ridiculous they have a whole thing.
I mean, I kind of get it,because there is so much bad
stuff on Facebook, don't theyhave a?
Speaker 1 (58:00):
department that works this stuff out.
Speaker 3 (58:02):
Yeah, you'll get it back, it's going to be fine.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
You're going to get it back or you'll just start
stronger and better.
So I thank you, shiny, thankyou, kaylin, for giving us your
two cents.
We appreciate that.
Oh, of course, and anythingelse you want to say before we
end this shiny like the sun.
Speaker 2 (58:28):
I was just.
I was looking.
You know, we always end the ourepisodes with a, with a
beautiful quote, and Iimmediately was thinking of what
we could end it with.
And you know, the creep byRadiohead.
I'm going to read a few lines.
I'm a creep and I'm a weirdo.
(58:49):
What the hell am I doing here?
no, I don't belong here, and Idon't care if it hurts, because
I want to have control.
Oh, I want a perfect body and Iwant a perfect soul.
I want you to notice when I'mnot around.
You think you're so special.
I wish that I was special andyou know what.
Speaker 3 (59:08):
They wrote a song about it.
They didn't go to somebody'shouse and play.
They put their feelings intoart, something productive like
get a hobby you know, I wish wehad.
Speaker 2 (59:20):
I wish we had a latin response oh my, my God, that'd
be so awesome.
Speaker 1 (59:24):
Oh, Kaylin, can you find something real quick that
would?
Speaker 3 (59:27):
be actually even better.
You're the Latin.
Can I quickly get a Latinresponse?
Yes, you can.
Speaker 2 (59:34):
I have one.
You do yeah, and I want to sayit's one that Gio gave me, but
it's actually really good.
Speaker 1 (59:39):
Okay, what is it?
Speaker 2 (59:40):
Can you hear me it?
Um, you hear me?
Um, this is a.
This is uh.
This is a quote that I'mborrowing uh, geo loves this one
.
It's called a more fatay it's.
This phrase means embracingeverything, the good, the bad,
the painful, as necessary partsof your story.
It's not just acceptance, it'schoosing to love what shaped you
(01:00:04):
.
Some things didn't happen tobreak you.
They happened to build you.
Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
I found one.
All right, what's yours?
Absent enneria means no offense.
Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
Oh, my gosh, kaylin, and we're going to end on that.
We're going to end on that.
Love you guys.
Thanks for being here Untilnext time.
Bye.
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