September 25, 2024 • 49 mins
What if the secret to a healthier lifestyle lies in spritzers and a good laugh? Join us on this episode of Virago 24-7 as we kick things off with a light-hearted chat about the world of ASMR, or as I like to call it, "SSMR." Shiney, brings some fantastic news to the table: she's just landed a job. You won't want to miss her recounting the welcoming interview experience and the surprising revelation about the shop's owner—a former stuntwoman for "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
Personal health journeys can be quite the rollercoaster, and I share my own recent experiences after a revealing physical check-up. With high cholesterol and borderline glucose levels on the table, we delve into the challenges of making dietary changes, like swapping out favorite indulgences and embracing healthier alternatives. From the struggle of avoiding white carbs and sugar to discovering the joy of spritzers, I discuss the importance of small but significant lifestyle adjustments and the motivational support that makes this journey manageable.
Ever wondered how to balance personal growth, career aspirations, and authenticity? This episode's got you covered. We explore the anticipation and excitement of potential career milestones, including the thrill of a third interview for a top sales position. Our conversation also touches on the resilience needed to navigate a rocky marriage, the solace found in faith, and the humor that keeps us going. Plus, we tackle societal norms around sobriety and alcohol use. Tune in for a heartfelt, humorous, and empowering discussion that celebrates ambition, faith, and the complexities of personal evolution.
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Everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors!
Music by Deli Rowe: "Space to Move"
Logo by Kaylin Talley
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, I am your host, leonette Talley, and you are
listening to Virago 24-7.
Virago is Latin for femalewarrior and 24-7 is for all day,
every day.
Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcastthat brings diverse women
together to talk about life andour experiences in this world.
We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage,
(00:24):
children, friendships and reallyanything that needs to be
talked about.
Here you will find everydaygrowth, everyday healing with
Everyday Warriors.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I see those videos on TikTok all the time.
The only ones I can't do is theeating ones.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I don't like that.
I like it when sorry guys,we're talking about.
What is it ASMR?
Yeah, we're recording.
Hi I was like she's talkingabout some shenanigans.
Hi, okay, okay, we're talkingabout smr.
Okay, what, what sounds?
Do you want to do?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I like that.
Did you just make up that thatword?
No, asmr a is a, but she's ansmr.
I know I call.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
So the kids make fun of me.
So I call it hi shiny, hi hibrie, hi shiny, Hello.
No, I say that on purpose,because when they first came out
I didn't understand what it was.
The kids would say it's so fastand I'm like SSMR.
No, they're like ASMR and I'mlike SSMR.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And so now I call it SSMR.
I like the tapping.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Oh, I do like that.
I like it when they'repretending to like brush
someone's hair or like cut it.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
It's like oh, yeah, yeah, I like that too.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I fell asleep to that once.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I can't do that, yeah , a lot of people do it's very,
it's very OK.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
But, yes, if you guys hear me say as a summer, I know
I'm saying it wrong.
That's the way I say it, it'sit, it's a, it's a joke, it's a
joke.
Hey, girls, I'm so happy to behere today.
We've been talking so much andI said we need to turn on the
microphones because we have alot to talk about today.
We have brianna hi.
We have shiny hello.
(02:15):
How are you, ladies?
wonderful can we start withshiny and then we'll start with
you?
Yeah, I know you guys haven'theard from brie in a while, so
we'll get caught up with her.
But right before we startedrecording, shiny said she I got
a job.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I want to know all about it where?
So, as you guys know, I love tocook yes, yes and so I was
struggling finding work.
I've it's taken me I ninemonths of searching.
I could have had a baby in thistime, but not.
(02:51):
So I decided that I would checkout really cool places, cool
spaces that I wanted to work ator I wanted to go to, because I
feel like I like to go out andlisten to music and eat good
(03:12):
food, drink great coffee and acool atmosphere.
So I decided to write an emailto Grounded Pound which is yes,
I know exactly where that is soI have drank their drinks before
and, I think, their food,because when my brother comes
(03:32):
into town he always looks upreviews or I think it's called
green tomatoes, some some reviewonline venue that tells you
what has the best reviews.
And when he came back one ofthe times he brought me cause I
wasn't feeling well, he broughtme this turmeric tea, and
(03:56):
normally we don't put turmericin our drinks, so I was.
It was questionable, but it wasdelicious, was it?
It was really really good.
And then another time hebrought me back food and I
thought it was questionable, butit was delicious, was it?
It was really really good.
And then another time hebrought me back food and I
thought it was really good.
And I had heard through thegrapevine that they do not only
so it's a coffee shop in the day, but in the evening they do all
(04:19):
kinds of really like neatevents.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Oh I didn't know that I've only gone in the morning.
Yes, yeah, for breakfast.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yes, isn't it next to a Brewster's?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Yes, yes, that's it, yes, that's it.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Yes, and they do open mic, no way.
They have trivia nights, theyhave local bands, they have
comedy night.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Brie, you can get up there and do your comedy.
You're funny.
You're funny.
You guys need to see her ontiktok.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
She cracks it up exactly.
So I thought, wow, that soundslike such a cool space yeah,
right so you know coffee shop byday and and that sounds exactly
like something that I wouldwant myself, yeah, so I decided
to email the owner.
I looked her up and found theyou know the forum to sign and I
just asked.
(05:09):
I said I'll do anything ifyou're hiring.
And we went back and forth fora while and then I met her.
I met her last week Okay.
Her and her general manager.
Both were lovely, and what's socool about the owner is she was
a stunt woman for Buffy and theVampire Slayer.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Really?
Oh, no way, yeah, how cool.
So now she's the owner of thecook shop.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
So what will you be doing?
So I'm going to be one of thepeople who cook Really.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Oh shiny, oh, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
This is right up your alley oh, I was so excited.
She said I have to study themenu and all that, which is
totally great yeah and onspecials time I can introduce
something of my own.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Oh, that's so wonderful.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I left there, I left there so happy, the vibe was
wonderful.
Yeah, every single person.
You know how you feel, thatreally good energy.
You know, like the barista, themanager, the person in the back
, everyone was awesome.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
There was a time there where Kaylin and I, a few
years ago, for some reason, likeevery week, we would go there.
We bring our laptops.
She would have her food, I'deat my food and we would just
sit there for like a few hoursand just you know, it was I
think around the time where Iwas starting up the podcast.
I was like, you know, she washelping me with the, you know
with the logo and stuff.
(06:39):
But yeah, the vibe is very cool, but I didn't know that they
did the night stuff.
The vibe is very cool, but Ididn't know that they did the
night stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yeah, I've never been there, I've just passed it,
yeah, but now I will, for surewhen do you start
Congratulations Tomorrow I starttraining.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Oh, that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
I I'm smiling ear to ear.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So I know this was like a big burden.
That, yeah, yes.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I had.
I had wanted to work andindependence, my own autonomy
for myself.
Yeah, because I had been out ofthe workplace for years and I
made that decision for my kids.
(07:18):
And everyone who knows me knowshow much I am a mother first.
But it's time.
My kids are teenagers now andthey're very independent and I'd
like some of my own money.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
And I and I want to do something that I'm passionate
about.
So, this is a huge change forme because, as we've spoken
before, culturally, I was toldyou know what to wear, what to
study who.
I spent my time with no outdooractivities.
(07:56):
There were so many things that,coming from my strict
upbringing, and slowly butsurely I've been rebelling like
a tiny bit and I'm a grown woman.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah, but when it's ingrained in you, like that it's
, I'm sure it's hard to undo.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Absolutely, but it's also got to feel so empowering
at the same time.
You know, because you're you'rediscovering all of these things
that you like not somethingthat you were taught to like or
enjoy or want to learn, butyou're discovering what you
truly like and are passionateabout.
That's so exciting.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Yes, and I was going to say earlier, earlier you were
teaching us about reparentingour mind and teaching ourselves
to go back to that time, and Iactually use that in it as an
interview answer, one of thequestions that tip, cause I've
been on lots of interviews,which I think I do pretty well.
I think the reason I wasstruggling to find work was my
(08:52):
limited availability right,because I am a mom first.
But they asked a question likewhat is it that drives you?
Or, you know, why do you wantto work in this space?
They all ask all thosequestions and one of my answers
is that every day I am mindfulabout not just how I treat
(09:17):
others with kindness and grace,but towards myself.
Yeah, and since I have startedbeing kinder to myself, because
I can't control my first thought, but I can control my second,
and when I realized that, I wastelling myself yes, shiny, you
can do this, there is a job outthere for you.
(09:39):
You just haven't found it yet.
You'll find your right place,and that's how I felt about this
place and I know, you know I Ihaven't even started yet and I'm
you know already to to tootingmy horn, to toot as you should.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Well, you're gonna crush it, yeah and then there's
a reason why those other oneswere no's, and this is what I
try to keep telling my kids.
And, just in general, it's likethat door was not meant for you
and we get so upset, and it'sokay to be upset, but let's keep
it moving.
Yes, god has a special placefor you, and this is literally
(10:11):
you.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
That place embodies who you are you get to, you get
to bring out your food, youdon't?
You're not just stuck backthere where you don't see
anybody and you don't, you don'tget to share with other people.
And this is another way that mypeople get to come.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I know I can't wait to come visit.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Maddox likes all those fancy drinks, loves all
the cool coffees and the coolteas and stuff, so he'll love
that.
I'll bring him Same my kids do.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
And I mean, how fun would it be to read or sing or
do a little comedy?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
skit at open mic.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
What can I do?
What can I do?
Are you kidding?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
you're good at everything.
You can read people's futures.
I would be the psychic.
Corinne is so funny because Isense energy like very well, and
I used to think it was weird,but now I'm accepting it.
Corinne's like anywhere we goshe's like what do you feel
about that person?
I'm like it doesn't work thatway.
Like I have to be around likeit just doesn't work that way.
She's so funny, but anywaysliving alone.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Sometimes at nighttime I get scared.
I I shit you not okay.
Sometimes at nighttime I getscared and I get in my head
about it and I'm like noleonette says I'm gonna be
somebody, so I'm gonna liveright, because I'm gonna be
somebody.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
She's gonna be somebody in this world, so I'm
like I'm gonna die tonight.
Yes, you are that's I.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I shit you, not I.
I think those thoughts, well,that's really great I'm so
excited for you.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I'm excited, shiny.
I can't wait to come visit.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Yeah, thank you, and and you know what you just said
we, we are here for each other,to lift each other up, and
that's what we want for all thewomen listening, all the people
listening yeah, be excited ifyou don't have a group of women
that get excited for your, foryour success.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Uh, you need to find new friends because as soon as
you said it.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I was like, oh my gosh, like I just oh, it's so
exciting and your food is sogood and creative and you're so
passionate about it.
I could see like curating,curating cur geez menus for them
and like them coming to you andbeing like, hey, shiny, do you
think you could whip up a dishfor this event, or whatever.
So that's really cool.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
And it could be the start of your other ideas.
Yeah, the teas and stuff, ofcourse.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Of course, oh, yes, thank you.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Well, I can't had a physical since 2018, not 2019.
That's what it said on my shoton my charts, whoa.
So yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
So I said I have to takecontrol of my health.
So I went and got blood workdone and guess what?
I have high cholesterol like,really high, like all of them,
(12:42):
isn't it pre?
It's Well, that's different.
So there was a high cholesteroland my glucose is like
literally like on the cusp ofnot being good.
It's like the bottom number?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Did you do a hemoglobin A1C?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
I don't know what the hell that is.
I just talked to the nurse.
I don't know what that is.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I just got my blood drawn and they told me and I saw
it on the thing and I've beenwaiting to talk to the nurse to
see what the hell I'm supposedto do now.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
So no, this is what they said.
So I finally talked to thenurse today because we've been
playing phone tag.
I have to avoid for the nextfew weeks.
I have to avoid all white carbs, sugar and alcohol.
And I have to take fish oilpills 2,000 milligrams Okay, and
then I go back to get my bloodretaken and I think that's a
(13:27):
great plan.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
So fish oil doesn't work for me.
It gives me indigestion.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
What the hell is that supposed to do?
I was going to Google it.
I haven't had the time yet.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
But it does work for a lot of people.
Okay, and all that advice isgreat advice.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yes, how strict are how?
How strict are they on the out?
No alcohol like.
How strict is that?
Is it like no alcohol or justlike a little bit is okay, or is
it like none?
Can I drink my wine with myfood and I'll be okay because I
(14:00):
can cut it out, but I need mywine.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
can we find a different drink for you to like
with your food?
Do you think I need something?
Because wine is like one of theworst alcohols for you.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Okay, you guys can find something for me.
That's an alternative, a betteralternative.
What about what dad?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
does?
You don't like the spritzers,like the Trulies.
That has alcohol in it.
I know, but they're to come upwith the plan.
You're going to find adifferent drink that's healthier
.
I can't drink water with mymeal.
No.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
And if I can't have sugar, I can't freaking drink
anything else you can have likea spritzer or something so.
Elsie cannot just have waterwith the meal.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
That's boring, I think trust me, I'm the alcohol
expert.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yes, you are.
If you guys don't know, she'san alcoholic, I'm an alcoholic.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Hi, I'm Brie.
Hi, I'm Brie.
I'm an alcoholic.
But like the spritzers andstuff, I think that they only
have like 100 calories.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
They're very low in sugar.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I just need something that's not water Because I was
telling Brie.
Well.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I'll have a Dr Pepper .
I Not water Because I wastelling Brie Girl have a Dr
Pepper.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Well, that has sugar in it, and I don't do sodas
anyways.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I'm not a big soda girl.
She's obsessed with Dr Pepper.
Used to be my drink.
I love Dr Pepper, but it's aproduction for me.
I know for some people You'vealways said that yeah, to me I
love.
It's like a comfort thing.
I sit down, I have my meal, Ihave my glass of wine.
So I need something to replacethe wine.
So I can't come.
No more lattes for me, shiny,so I can't come.
(15:30):
So I think I can't have.
See, I can't have thesepastries on this.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Well, there's always there's always a replacement.
I can have tea with no sugar,even if you, even if you go to
Starbucks, there options likepeople who have a dairy allergy
there's.
There's alternate, like there'salternative.
Yeah, so we're gonna find you adifferent drink that you like.
I'm sorry I can't sample itwith you, but we're gonna find
you a different drink that youlike, okay, and you can enjoy it
with your dinners but wine isterrible for you.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Well, yeah, but a dirty martini is dry I know, but
they say, but they said noalcohol I think it's's, I think
it's every in moderation.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
In moderation, yes, but even the wine in moderation,
for your sugars and things likethat is not good, okay, so I
can do everything else I canstop with sugar.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
We already Googled all the foods that I should be
eating and it's everything thatI like no carbs, I can do all of
that.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
You're a high-protein girl.
You love vegetables.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
I can eat all that.
It's the no wine thing.
I know I sound like a wino, Iknow I'm not an alcoholic, but I
like.
What's wrong with that?
I just like a pairing.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
A good glass of wine to pair with your food is my
thing.
So if you guys have anysuggestions, please let me know.
And it can be a fun adventurefor you too to try different
drinks.
With each meal you try adifferent drink and see what you
like, see what you don't like.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Oh, I like it Like a tasting.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yeah, yeah, okay, and making an effort to walk a
little bit after the meal.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Oh no, I just want to veg out on my couch and watch a
show.
I know I can't go walking.
I love to walk, but after ameal I know, I agree.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I used to always wonder why people would walk
after their meal.
It makes sense.
All I want to do also is that.
All I want to do also is that.
But they say that that doeslike a remarkable change for our
blood glucose and our.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Why do you do something?
That it's either that or I willjust have to go on ozempic.
I told Brie I'm like are theygonna say ozempic?
I know well, because I haven'ttalked to the nurse.
I'm like are they gonnaprescribe ozempic now because
I'm pre-diabetic?
Well, that's what the papersaid.
When I talked to her today, shedidn't even mention the glucose
she was focused on thecholesterol and so she's like
(17:48):
okay, any questions?
I'm like yeah, what about myglucose?
She's like oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, no sugar.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
And I'm like okay, the good news is for you you're
not starting from scratch, likefor me.
I would not know where to begin, because I love carbs.
I love, you know, indulging insweets every now and then.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
You're a really healthy eater, that's what the
people say, but obviously myblood work does not say that I
am.
It's the wine, it's the fuckingwine, it's the wine, all right.
So, anyways, that happened andI'm going to be okay, guys,
absolutely, and I'll be a skinnybee because all that sugar is
not going to be in my system.
So that's exciting.
I won't look so bloated in myface.
(18:25):
I don't feel like you lookbloated in your face.
Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I'm just trying to come up with the positives of
all of this, I think Victoria'sSecret is going to be calling
you soon.
Secret's going to be callingyou soon.
You're going to be an angel.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Oh, I always wanted to be on the runway.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
I have.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I could totally see you.
Oh my gosh.
Well, anyways, I will come toyour little establishment after
this journey because I want togo and eat.
She can come before there arethings there.
I'll go and I'll sit and I'lldrink my water.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
No, they have healthy drinks in Scott too.
Of course they do, okay.
There's alternatives toeverything, absolutely, even if
you go to an ice cream shop.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
They have sugar-free ice creams, low-calorie ice.
That sounds disgusting.
I know, I'm just sayingSugar-free ice, saying I'm just
saying there's alternativeseverywhere you go.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yes, but honestly, to be honest, the sugar and like
candy, like that kind of stuffeven though I do like my sweets
every now and then that's nothard.
The carbs aren't hard becauseyou can replace it with like
zucchini, squash and all thatkind of stuff.
I'm okay with that.
It's just Cauliflower pizza.
I can do it.
I can do that flour pizza.
I can do it.
(19:38):
I can do that a thousandpercent.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
It's just going to be very intentional and purposeful
.
So well, just look, think of itthat you did it.
You did the blood test.
Now you're aware, yeah, and Idon't have to like do anything
drastic.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I was thinking, oh my gosh.
I kept telling Bree I wasjoking, but um, I was like I'm
going to have to be on insulinand I'm going to be on Ozempic.
I don't want to have a littlebody with a big head.
No, I'm kidding For those whoare on Ozempic.
It's okay, I'm not, I'm just I.
The way I cope with things ishumor.
Same, so I'm not making fun ofanybody.
(20:12):
I'm just saying for myself likeI would be terrified to like
inject myself with stuff.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
So yeah, but you will do whatever you need to do.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
I will, I will, I will.
But, brie, yes, we haven'ttalked to you in a hot minute.
I know we need to like getpeople caught up.
What's like the?
You know, the summary of what'sbeen going on in your life.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Well, the last time I was here I was happily married,
except I was not happy at all.
It sucked.
Hated being married.
I'm getting a divorce Damn shewent straight in.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
She didn't even like ease us into it, no foreplay,
she just like just stuck it inthere.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Nothing.
Um, I'm getting a divorce, yeah, um, um, I asked my husband for
a divorce on mother's day ofthis year and I moved out.
When did I move out?
Uh, june, no, yeah june.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I think it was the very beginning of june I moved
out.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I got an apartment for my two boys and I still here
in petri corners.
I'm never leaving petri corners, and it's been hellacious.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I love how she loves Peachtree Corners so much.
I love that it's home.
I love it Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
So just a tiny little backstory.
So when I first started workingat the office, I was exposed to
, like um, I don't know how toexplain it Just, I guess just
Peachtree Corners in general,and just like it's a different
way of life out here than whereI was living at the time and the
people are different,Everything is different.
(21:45):
I love the city itself becauseit's very suburban, but also you
can get to Atlanta very quicklyand if no matter what you need
whether it be a new outfit, apair of shoes, a piece of
chicken, no matter what you want.
Whether it be a new outfit, apair of shoes, a piece of
chicken, no matter what you want, you can get it within five
minutes from where I live.
So I love Peachtree Corners andI think that when you um as
(22:06):
young as I was and you'reexposed to a place in, like my
role models at the time, like mydad or Dr Talley and Leonette
um, and stuff like that, youkind of see their way of life
and you gravitate towards that,and so I wanted to be, like you
know, live in Peachtree Corners.
So that's always been a dreamof mine.
So that's the only good thingthat came out of my marriage
besides my son, um, so I'm stillhere in Peachtree Corners and I
(22:31):
am separated.
I'm gonna get the ball rollingon divorce you also were looking
for a job.
I was looking for a job and I amin the interview process.
Just go get it though.
Yeah, I hope so.
It's your third Tomorrow's mythird interview.
It's an in-person interview.
(22:51):
It's for a sales position for ahome and remodeling company.
They were like number 14 inFortune magazine for top places
to work and it's a very soughtafter company.
They have like 250,000applicants a year and my first
year I could make six figures.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
So and this chick.
See, I told her this kind ofjob would stress me out because
I'm not a salesperson.
That would be the very bottomthing that I would ever want to
do was sell anything to anybody.
But this chick is like she cansell anything to anybody
anywhere.
Like, seriously, Thank you,Like so I'm so excited for you.
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
It's a lot of face-to-face interaction, which
is what I love.
Like when I worked at thepractice, I could never be one
of those people that sat in anoffice or sat behind the wall or
anything like that.
I love face-to-face interaction.
It seems like a wonderfulcompany to work for.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
The hours are great, they're conducive with my
schedule, with my boys and themoney is really good and, for
example, so right when you movedout, you did work at a
dealership.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I did.
I worked at a car dealership.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
She literally just walked in and said, hey, I need
a job, and they literally hiredher on the spot.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
And they said what to you?
That your first car you'll sell.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
They said that it would take me.
It would take me.
It was like three months.
No yeah, it was like 90 days tosell my first car and I sold
nine while I was there.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
And not to toot my own horn, but I just I love that
.
It's like a challenge.
Every day is like a new.
You can set your own goals.
I love the idea of um, anuncapped commission, and you
know that sort of thing, so I'mreally excited about it.
And if I were to get thisposition and I and I was making
that kind of money, I could buya home for my boys and I, which
is one of my biggest goals InPeachtree Corners In Peachtree
(24:41):
Corners, of course.
Okay, so yeah.
So that's, I have my finalinterview tomorrow, and
everything that they've said sofar has been really uplifting
and really encouraging and hasled me to believe that I'm
already their number oneemployee.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I love the confidence , me too I love it, I love it.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
No, but I'm excited about it.
So my three-year plan is I'mgoing to buy a home.
I've started going to churchrecently.
Yeah, I'm discovering myrelationship with God has always
been very spotty, but I neededsomething bigger than myself.
I needed something bigger thanmy shitty ass marriage.
I needed something bigger thaneven my boys.
(25:25):
Like, my kids are my wholeentire life, they're my world,
they're you know, everything Ido is revolves around them, no
matter what it is.
I just needed something bigger,like my soul craves something
bigger.
And so I'm on a path journey,if you will, to kind of find out
where I stand in myrelationship with God.
(25:45):
And it's honestly this timecause I've gone to church in the
past before.
I've gone, you know, to churchwith the tallies.
I've gone to church withfriends and, um, there's been
times of desperation that I'veprayed and stuff like that, and
it's always been kind of likeeasy, like I just go, I just go
to church, I have a good time, Ihear the message, it sounds
great.
This time has been difficultand part of me believes it's
(26:09):
been difficult because I'm trulyinvested, like I want to know.
I want, I want to knoweverything and, um, I'm
questioning everything.
So yeah, I've gone to churchevery Sunday for the past month,
except this past Sunday.
I didn't go.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
I watched it online, but you're still consuming, like
the information I am, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
And it's a part of my like everyday life now, which
is odd, Like I have moments.
So my relationship with prayerwas always holy shit, something
really bad is happening.
Let's pray to God, becausethat's what people say that
you're supposed to do, right?
So I'd be like God, please helpme, like crying, or I'd be like
I know I don't talk to youenough, but like right now I
(26:50):
need you and I promise I'll pray.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, I'll pray until the next catastrophe.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Right until the next catastrophe.
But there's been smallsituations in the past couple of
months where I'm like, dang, Ithink that was a God moment,
like, is this what they talkabout?
I think that was a God moment.
Or even bad times where I'mlike I think that was a devil
moment, you know.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
So, yeah, that's where I'm at.
That's wonderful.
Yeah, I'm excited.
I'm so excited for you, brie,because the fact that you can
openly say that you're analcoholic and I know we're
laughing about it, brie, and Ijoke about sad things- All the
things you shouldn't joke about.
We're talking about her divorceand how tragic it is, and then
we'll just make some stupid jokeand laugh.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
So that's just the way we cope with things Isn't,
it is, and then we'll just makesome stupid joke and laugh yeah,
that's just the way we copewith things.
It's an easy defense mechanism.
Yes, that's ours.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
This divorce has honestly broken me, yeah, I
would say, more than anythingelse ever has I have.
I had this whole idea of whatbeing married was supposed to be
and what I wanted you knowbeing married to be, and would
tell people like, yeah, I'mdoing it right this time.
I got married and then I had ababy and I have this wonderful
(28:03):
husband and, like behind closeddoors, everything was shit, like
I just it felt so good to feelI'm using air quotes normal.
It felt so good for my kids tohave a normal life.
It felt so good for the peoplewho loved me to not have to
worry about me because I wasstable and I was married and all
of these things.
But, um, I was.
I was hiding how, how unhealthyand toxic and evil my marriage
(28:27):
was, and it's the same with myalcoholism.
I hid it for so long and sicksecrets keep you sick.
I genuinely believe that, um,and so, yeah, I'm.
I'm very open about it now I'man alcoholic.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Um and it is it is.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
It's, it's not I joke about it.
Like Leonette said, I jokeabout it, but it is.
It's such a heavy thing to bear.
It really is.
It's, um, because it is a partof who I am.
And if you don't, if you don'tlike something about yourself
you know, even like physically,if you don't like your nose, you
go get a nose job.
If you don't like this, youchange it.
Um, being an out, being analcoholic is something that you
could never, ever change, andthat's a hard thing to grasp,
(29:05):
especially at such a young age Iwas.
I mean, I went to rehab for thefirst time when I was 26, maybe
27.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
I don't remember how old I was.
I think I.
No, I was like 24, somethinglike that.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
I was young, too young to be going rehab, yeah,
um, so it in.
You know, when you think abouta young, single 24 year old,
that's what they do they drink.
Every social thing is drinking,everything is surrounded around
drinking.
So I was in um, a stage ofdenial for so long and then,
when, when something bad wouldhappen or I would feel internal
pain or like this mentalheaviness, that's what I would
(29:45):
turn to was alcohol, because itmade me not feel all of that
anymore.
And I think that once I Irelapsed a few months ago back
in right after my divorce.
I relapsed Well ago, back inright after my divorce.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I relapsed.
Well, you're not divorced yet,you're still married, I know,
right after my separation.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
It was June.
I like to pretend that it'sover.
No, it was before you, it wasMay.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
It was before you left the house.
It was before I left the house.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
And it wasn't as bad Like.
I only drank for a couple ofdays and, and you know, leonette
can attest that when I drink Idrink.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Um but this time.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
This time it wasn't as bad.
I, I, I was kind of able tocatch myself.
Um, and I'm just man, it's sucha tired life to live.
Like, and the pretending I'm sotired of pretending, I'm ready
to just take off the mask and so, um, that's that it is a part
of who I am and I either beproud of it or I suffer from it.
(30:46):
Um, and not necessarily proudof it, but I own it.
I guess is a better thing tosay Like I own it or I suffer
from it.
Um, I own it or it owns me, I'mso proud.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
No, I really am proud of you.
And the only input because youknow, you and I talk a lot all
the time, almost every day thislittle nugget.
I don't like to talk on thephone, but there's certain
people that I can just talk toShiny, you're one of them.
Sometimes Shiny will be drivingand she'll call me, but there's
certain people that I can justtalk with for hours and you two
(31:18):
are one of them.
But we've been talking a lotand I'm just so proud of what
you're doing and I know it'shard.
I mean, we talk about the hardstuff and just keep focusing on
yourself.
That's what I keep telling youFocus on yourself and focus on
your boys and everything elsewill work out.
And I hate that.
There's certain people in yourlife that will throw your
alcoholism in your face like asan insult or as a my husband.
(31:40):
I wasn't trying to name names,he didn't say his name.
We tried to specify who, butthey throw it in your face as
like an insult or to hurt you,it's weaponized, it is.
And it's frustrating because Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I have my opinions on that because it's an insecurity
and they know that it hurts me.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
You know, take your biggest insecurity and they say
it as an insult, but yet theydon't do anything to really help
the situation, if that makessense.
Like they're not doing,anything.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Well, because when I'm drinking I'm weak.
Yeah, and some people like tokeep me weak, yeah, and so, of
course, they wouldn't want tofix it.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Yeah, because sweet grief is easy grief.
I think also it's intimidatingthat you have the courage not
only to recognize what you weredoing but to make it better.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Thank you, it's honestly, it's been a long road
Like it hasn't been.
It hasn't just been like, oh, Ithink I have a drinking problem,
let me quit Like there's been.
It's been so many bumps and somany setbacks and so many and,
and the shame and the guilt isthe worst part of it all.
I have so much shame, I have somuch guilt.
(32:51):
You know, you guys know that Igrew up, you know I was raised
not raised, actually, sorry momUm, they were your parents.
Yeah, my parents are both, areboth addicts and you know, my
sister died of a drug overdoseand so, um, drugs and alcohol
are so prominent in my family,it's in my DNA, it really is.
But it's such a shameful thingand it's so taboo and it's it.
(33:14):
I have suffered from so muchguilt and so having my parents,
you know, in the state that theywere in growing up made me, you
know, as an alcoholic.
It made it, put me in thatplace.
I, in my mind, I'm like, oh,I'm just like my mom.
I'm like, oh, I'm just like mymom, I'm just like my dad, I'm
(33:36):
just like my mom, but I'm outhere fighting like hell to where
you know, so that my boys can'tgrow up and say the same thing
and, um, you know, making surethat they they have a childhood
that they don't have to recoverfrom or they don't have to heal
from in the same way that I have, is my number one priority.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Um so, I'm doing great.
I mean, you're incredible.
Oh my God, Thank you.
And we tell her that causethat's such a young age for you
just to just get it.
I know it's hard.
I know you're going through itright now and you sound amazing,
but I know, behind closed doorsyou're.
You know it's been very, veryhard, but for you to figure this
, out, I know, and a day I knowand people don't make it easy
(34:10):
for you.
So it just if people could justback the hell off I'm.
I am like, I'm such a protectorwhen I love somebody that I
literally have to stop myself,yeah, from like putting
inserting myself, because I havemany words to say to many
people, not just one, or two.
There's a few of them out therethat I just want to tell them
(34:35):
like it is, but I know that'snot going to do anything, but I
want you so badly.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
So anytime I know you call me yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I'll be there.
We don't live that far awayfrom each other.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
The issue is that you're too smart for them.
I know, no matter what you saidthey would be like, first of
all, they would probably receiveit, because there are certain
people in my life that areintimidated by you.
They should.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Thank you and you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
And so they would probably receive it, but then it
would just be used as oh well,leonette's coming.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Well, no, we were getting our nails done yesterday
and we were talking about thiskind of stuff and I'm like
nobody tests me like that.
I'm like I'm waiting forsomeone just to be like I wish
they would.
I wake up every morning Like Iwish someone would.
Because we've talked about this, because we?
Speaker 3 (35:14):
we have dealt with the same similar people.
Yeah, and you would.
You've asked me why does thatperson say that to you?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
But they don't say it .
They would never, they wouldnever.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
I think that that's wonderful.
Is it because they know I'llthroat punch them?
I'm not really going to do it,but you accept.
I think you are no nonsensewhich I love about you.
You're a rock.
You're strong.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Well, it's been 40, how old am I?
44 years in the making.
I wasn't always this way.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Well, you know, it's not even a quantity right,
that's true.
I feel like my growth has beenslow and then it's sped into
like it really did, so it's justrecognizing, like you did.
If you can name it, you cantame it, yeah, so just the fact
(36:04):
that I like that, the fact thatyou can you're saying it?
Yeah, because I would say thatthe other coping mechanism,
besides you guys saying that youlaugh.
We do laugh a lot Is denial,yeah, denial is a strong one, it
is true, and alcohol is a verysocially acceptable.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Oh, a million percent Addiction.
It's not like meth Meth I'dhave to search for.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
This shit, I can't go get a piece of garlic bread
without finding it.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Okay, yes, you can say, hey, I'm gonna go pick up,
I can't go get a smoothiewithout them being like do you
want it spiked?
Speaker 3 (36:38):
no, yes, yeah I agree , yeah, and, and we're in a,
we're in a time, or just societyitself, when we're all hanging
out, the one person who doesn'ttake the drink, yeah is
questioned yeah, yeah it is.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
And actually recently I had somebody tell me because
I was invited to go out fordrinks and I'm like, no, I don't
drink.
And they're like everybody whodoesn't drink has a story, and I
was like, okay, bob, yeah, Ihave a story, but I'm not going
to tell you that and that's justlike it is, but it's true.
It's true If somebody says theydon't drink, it's not because
they're watching their freakingcholesterol, it's because
(37:16):
they've been in a college for 10years.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
You know what I mean?
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
That's a good one.
It's like Leanna.
Why aren't you?
Speaker 1 (37:24):
drinking.
My cholesterol is really high.
I'm going to use that.
Cholesterol's really high.
I'm going to use that.
And my glucose is borderlinepre-diabetic.
Sorry guys, I just had my bloodtest.
Yeah, I'm going to use that.
And they're braced next to meand they're like why aren't you
drinking?
I'm an alcoholic.
I'm an alcoholic.
Is your cholesterol high too?
No, but I'm sure you've been.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
I've been in this situation, you know, way back
when I didn't take the drink.
Everyone was taking a shot ofsomething somewhere and I didn't
take the drink.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
and everyone's like Shani's pregnant and I hadn't
announced it yet, like years ago, and you were pregnant.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Yes, I was, but I remember thinking oh my goodness
I should have just taken it andthrew it over my shoulder.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yes, we know people that do stuff like that.
Just throw it over the shoulder.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Not me.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
You drink it, take it and run and drink it and you
make sure every little drop isin your system.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Sorry, I interrupted you, and if you don't want yours
, I'll take yours too.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
No, I was going to say why don't we just smoke?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
We just pass the joint, listen okay, when are we
going to legalize that inGeorgia?
So am I allowed to talk aboutthat?
Let's do it.
We can talk about whatever thehell we want.
So so this time around has beenthe easiest being sober has
ever been.
I think that there are a lot offactors that go into it.
I think number one I'veaccepted it.
(38:39):
I'm no longer a closetalcoholic.
I am.
The cashier at Walmart knowsI'm an alcoholic like.
I just don't give a shit.
Who knows anymore, um.
And so I think there are a lotof factors, obviously my kids
being probably the number onething.
Like I'm so driven to make surethat they have a good and
healthy mom, um, and then also,like a little part of it is out
(39:00):
of spite, like the people whoare in my life like mentally
beating the shit out of me.
I'm like you watch bitch, um,but but uh, so I have, I've,
I've found these like cbd drinksand because a lot, of, a lot of
it for me is, um, it's kind oflike the, the act of doing it as
well, like you have somethingthat you look forward to every
(39:22):
night and no matter how hardyour day is and no matter how
and I know this is taboo.
To talk about it like, oh well,you shouldn't, you shouldn't
need a vice?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah, we do.
We all have it.
I don't give a crap.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
I need something to look for.
I'm in the middle of a divorce,okay.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
I'm overcoming childhood drama.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
I'm a single mom to two boys.
I have a toddler.
That's enough right.
And so I do Like.
I like my vices.
My vice because I only have oneWell, reality TV.
So I found these CBD drinks andthat has changed the game for
me because I have it's the sameeffect.
You feel that lightness andthat relaxed and that almost
(40:01):
tipsy feeling.
So for me, the type of alcoholicI am, I am a completely
non-functioning alcoholic.
When I drink I cannot function.
I might drink at a social eventand, you know, have a good time
, be the life of the party, andthen I'm gonna go home and drink
until I pass out, like I justcannot function with alcohol.
I mean me and alcohol just youdon't love each other.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
No, no, no, I loved him.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
He ate it up, um, so, so, but with the CBD drink.
So it's, it's a spritzer, justlike you know what a truly would
be, or whatever.
So at nighttime I put my kidsto bed and I have my spritzer
and it's um, you know CBD.
I buy it at the like, thelittle uh vape store right by my
(40:44):
apartment.
Um, and it gives me all of thesame feelings, like I feel
relaxed, I feel optimistic, Ienjoy my TV much more.
I, you know, I'm not, um, I'mnot like a stress eater.
When I'm stressed out, I have astruggle to eat, um, and that's
been kind of a hard thing forme throughout all of this, but
(41:06):
I'm able to.
I wish I couldn't eat when Iwas stressed.
I'm the opposite it, it, it'sbad yeah, it's bad um, but it
helps me to eat you're likenelly, my mom.
Yeah, that's why you guys areso little um, but so at night
time, like I'll cook my kidsdinner and feed them dinner, and
then at night, like after theygo to bed, I have my little
(41:27):
spritzer and I'll either you,you know cook something for
myself, or it's just it's so Idrink them too, and they are,
and you don't feel it's not adrunk feeling.
It's like a chill.
It's a chill feel and then whenyou, let's just legalize the
shit all over the place, butit's legal here.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
It is legal here because it has, a Don't come at
me.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
No, no, it's all over .
I mean, it's all over us.
Even though marijuana is not,or cannabis whatever we want to
call it is not legal.
There's doses of it that youcan buy.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
That you can buy.
I think it's like under 10grams or 6 milligrams, I don't
know.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
So it's all very legit.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
And my thing is like, if we can go buy alcohol, then
why can't we go buy this stuffand not be ashamed of it?
We all know what it feels liketo wake up after a night of
drinking, right, whether youonly had two drinks or whether
you had 20, it's a shittyfeeling.
You feel groggy, you feel slow,you feel unmotivated, you feel
foggy you need to be the sponsorfor like uh the advertiser for
for this drink.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Yes, hit me up if you hear this, because you're
selling it.
I want to buy some crescentnine.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
I am your girl, um yeah but it's just, it is it's
the best thing.
So I think I honestly and notto like glorify another vice,
but I'm glorifying another vicelike I hate, how taboo it is.
Like anybody.
They're not anybody, butthere's been a few people who I
explain this to like inreplacement of alcohol and
they're like well, that's justanother vice okay, susan, I
(42:51):
don't give a shit, but there'speople that exercise the shit
out of their days, and that, tome, is a vice.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
I'm sorry I don't care if it's seen as healthy
food yeah, phone social mediathere are so many vices watching
tv that's my other people'svice, mine too, gosh, I love my
tv don't take that well we'vetalked about this when there are
a lot of people that feelcomforted when they're judging
(43:18):
someone else.
Oh, a thousand percent.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
And another thing too , just to touch on that again
the social part of it.
So, as a young alcoholic, Ijust turned 30.
Part of it.
So, as a young alcoholic um, Ijust turned 30 and as a young
alcoholic it is, um, it's veryuncomfortable, and not because,
like I, I want people to drinkaround me, because I, I never
(43:43):
want to be the reason somebodydoesn't do what they typically
would do.
You know, just cause I'm around, that makes me feel awkward.
And then you're turning myproblem into everybody's problem
.
Like, I just hate that.
And so, like, socially, if I'mgoing to a social event and
people are able to drink, Ibring my little spritzer and I
still feel like a part of it.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
And like I don't know , I think that that is so true,
and this is completely notcompletely, but a little
different.
I remember Oprah saying thatshe wanted to cut back on coffee
, her caffeine intake, but whatshe really was craving when she
realized it was this warm cup ina mug and how comforting it is
(44:22):
in the morning.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
A million percent, yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
So she realized she needed, whatever her replacement
was, that it still was servedin that mug and that you know it
was warm and comforting.
I feel the same way about what?
Because I, I, I know people whostruggle with addiction and I
think my problem that I I had to, I had to have a a small
(44:49):
reaction to, was being stillinclusive.
Yeah, to the person who doesn'tdrink, cause I remember someone
asking oh, this person doesn'tdrink, do they still want to
come?
And I said yes, just like Isaid to you, I still want you to
come and we'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
I can't eat anything Cause I'm kidding, I'm making
jokes.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
I know I can't find something.
We'll figure out what makeswork, because it's the same
thing with you.
Know my lateness.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
I want whoever's there say it's a dinner.
Speaker 3 (45:19):
I want everybody to start eating or drinking and
having a great time, and I willcome in.
Think of it the other way ifevery single person in at the
party or at the dinner iswaiting on you, that doesn't
make you feel good when you'rein the door.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
You feel like a burden you feel.
Well, it doesn't feel good forthe people waiting.
It's like I got here on time,why we got away from the late
person I would say it feels.
Speaker 3 (45:45):
It feels bad on both sides yeah you can't say oh,
we're just waiting for you, sothat's the polite thing to do,
that we all start to be together.
No, I think there's noformalities.
Yeah, that's a good analogywhen we're together, we think of
each other, and I'm not goingto be offended if you already
(46:06):
started eating or you starteddrinking or whatever it is
you're eating or drinking,because really the whole reason
we're together is to be together.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
And there should be no judgment on if Leonette's on
a diet we're not going to callher out on it.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
It's called the lifestyle Shiny.
I don't believe in diets.
I believe in lifestyle change.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
I feel comforted when people drink around me.
Yeah, because it makes me feellike I'm not hindering what they
would want to do, or somethingthat they would do on average,
like to accommodate myalcoholism.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Absolutely.
It makes you feel more included, that they feel comfortable to
be themselves.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Yeah, it's a burden.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
Well, can we talk about your mom?
Do you think she would be okay?
Yeah, it's a burden.
Well, can we talk?
Speaker 2 (46:50):
about your mom?
Do you think she would be okay?
No, yeah.
So whenever I told her I wascoming here today to record, she
was like when is Leanna goingto help me write my book?
Oh yeah, she wants to write abook.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Shani.
Speaker 3 (46:59):
Oh, you know, I do too.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
So let's like have writing sessions or something.
Maybe we just we'll brainstorm,maybe just start writing facts
down and then we can do thewords.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
I'm not a writer like that, though you can read some
of your pieces at Open Mic Night.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
But, no this is since we're talking about being open
and we're making changes.
So her mom just graduated from.
What did we call it Drug?
Speaker 2 (47:29):
court.
Speaker 3 (47:30):
Okay, explain what it is.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Because I was invited and we went.
What was it Friday?
Friday morning.
There's a lot of drama thatwent with it, but we'll start
with the positive.
Come back next week and findout what happens in drunk court.
(47:53):
It goes from us wanting tocelebrate Brianna's mom to
something very traumatichappening while we're there.
Also, we talk about ourchildren, about gun control and
gun violence.
Gun control and gun violenceand you will be here to witness
a woman's brain and how we gofrom a very serious conversation
(48:15):
and serious topic to us beingsilly.
And yeah, a woman's brain isvery complicated, as you all
know.
So have a wonderful rest ofyour week and we will see you
next time.
Bye.
Thank you so much for listeningto Virago 24-7.
(48:37):
If you haven't done so already,go ahead and hit that subscribe
button and please give us fivestar ratings.
Also, don't forget to follow uson Instagram, at Virago247, and
on Facebook, at Virago247.
And just connect with us andshare your story.
(48:58):
We'd love to hear from you.
Hi, I am your host, leonette Talley, and you are
listening to Virago 24-7.
Virago is Latin for femalewarrior and 24-7 is for all day,
every day.
Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcastthat brings diverse women
together to talk about life andour experiences in this world.
We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage,
(00:24):
children, friendships and reallyanything that needs to be
talked about.
Here you will find everydaygrowth, everyday healing with
Everyday Warriors.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I see those videos on TikTok all the time.
The only ones I can't do is theeating ones.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I don't like that.
I like it when sorry guys,we're talking about.
What is it ASMR?
Yeah, we're recording.
Hi I was like she's talkingabout some shenanigans.
Hi, okay, okay, we're talkingabout smr.
Okay, what, what sounds?
Do you want to do?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I like that.
Did you just make up that thatword?
No, asmr a is a, but she's ansmr.
I know I call.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
So the kids make fun of me.
So I call it hi shiny, hi hibrie, hi shiny, Hello.
No, I say that on purpose,because when they first came out
I didn't understand what it was.
The kids would say it's so fastand I'm like SSMR.
No, they're like ASMR and I'mlike SSMR.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And so now I call it SSMR.
I like the tapping.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Oh, I do like that.
I like it when they'repretending to like brush
someone's hair or like cut it.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
It's like oh, yeah, yeah, I like that too.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I fell asleep to that once.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I can't do that, yeah , a lot of people do it's very,
it's very OK.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
But, yes, if you guys hear me say as a summer, I know
I'm saying it wrong.
That's the way I say it, it'sit, it's a, it's a joke, it's a
joke.
Hey, girls, I'm so happy to behere today.
We've been talking so much andI said we need to turn on the
microphones because we have alot to talk about today.
We have brianna hi.
We have shiny hello.
(02:15):
How are you, ladies?
wonderful can we start withshiny and then we'll start with
you?
Yeah, I know you guys haven'theard from brie in a while, so
we'll get caught up with her.
But right before we startedrecording, shiny said she I got
a job.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I want to know all about it where?
So, as you guys know, I love tocook yes, yes and so I was
struggling finding work.
I've it's taken me I ninemonths of searching.
I could have had a baby in thistime, but not.
(02:51):
So I decided that I would checkout really cool places, cool
spaces that I wanted to work ator I wanted to go to, because I
feel like I like to go out andlisten to music and eat good
(03:12):
food, drink great coffee and acool atmosphere.
So I decided to write an emailto Grounded Pound which is yes,
I know exactly where that is soI have drank their drinks before
and, I think, their food,because when my brother comes
(03:32):
into town he always looks upreviews or I think it's called
green tomatoes, some some reviewonline venue that tells you
what has the best reviews.
And when he came back one ofthe times he brought me cause I
wasn't feeling well, he broughtme this turmeric tea, and
(03:56):
normally we don't put turmericin our drinks, so I was.
It was questionable, but it wasdelicious, was it?
It was really really good.
And then another time hebrought me back food and I
thought it was questionable, butit was delicious, was it?
It was really really good.
And then another time hebrought me back food and I
thought it was really good.
And I had heard through thegrapevine that they do not only
so it's a coffee shop in the day, but in the evening they do all
(04:19):
kinds of really like neatevents.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Oh I didn't know that I've only gone in the morning.
Yes, yeah, for breakfast.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yes, isn't it next to a Brewster's?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Yes, yes, that's it, yes, that's it.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Yes, and they do open mic, no way.
They have trivia nights, theyhave local bands, they have
comedy night.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Brie, you can get up there and do your comedy.
You're funny.
You're funny.
You guys need to see her ontiktok.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
She cracks it up exactly.
So I thought, wow, that soundslike such a cool space yeah,
right so you know coffee shop byday and and that sounds exactly
like something that I wouldwant myself, yeah, so I decided
to email the owner.
I looked her up and found theyou know the forum to sign and I
just asked.
(05:09):
I said I'll do anything ifyou're hiring.
And we went back and forth fora while and then I met her.
I met her last week Okay.
Her and her general manager.
Both were lovely, and what's socool about the owner is she was
a stunt woman for Buffy and theVampire Slayer.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Really?
Oh, no way, yeah, how cool.
So now she's the owner of thecook shop.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
So what will you be doing?
So I'm going to be one of thepeople who cook Really.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Oh shiny, oh, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
This is right up your alley oh, I was so excited.
She said I have to study themenu and all that, which is
totally great yeah and onspecials time I can introduce
something of my own.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Oh, that's so wonderful.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I left there, I left there so happy, the vibe was
wonderful.
Yeah, every single person.
You know how you feel, thatreally good energy.
You know, like the barista, themanager, the person in the back
, everyone was awesome.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
There was a time there where Kaylin and I, a few
years ago, for some reason, likeevery week, we would go there.
We bring our laptops.
She would have her food, I'deat my food and we would just
sit there for like a few hoursand just you know, it was I
think around the time where Iwas starting up the podcast.
I was like, you know, she washelping me with the, you know
with the logo and stuff.
(06:39):
But yeah, the vibe is very cool, but I didn't know that they
did the night stuff.
The vibe is very cool, but Ididn't know that they did the
night stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yeah, I've never been there, I've just passed it,
yeah, but now I will, for surewhen do you start
Congratulations Tomorrow I starttraining.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Oh, that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
I I'm smiling ear to ear.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So I know this was like a big burden.
That, yeah, yes.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I had.
I had wanted to work andindependence, my own autonomy
for myself.
Yeah, because I had been out ofthe workplace for years and I
made that decision for my kids.
(07:18):
And everyone who knows me knowshow much I am a mother first.
But it's time.
My kids are teenagers now andthey're very independent and I'd
like some of my own money.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
And I and I want to do something that I'm passionate
about.
So, this is a huge change forme because, as we've spoken
before, culturally, I was toldyou know what to wear, what to
study who.
I spent my time with no outdooractivities.
(07:56):
There were so many things that,coming from my strict
upbringing, and slowly butsurely I've been rebelling like
a tiny bit and I'm a grown woman.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah, but when it's ingrained in you, like that it's
, I'm sure it's hard to undo.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Absolutely, but it's also got to feel so empowering
at the same time.
You know, because you're you'rediscovering all of these things
that you like not somethingthat you were taught to like or
enjoy or want to learn, butyou're discovering what you
truly like and are passionateabout.
That's so exciting.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Yes, and I was going to say earlier, earlier you were
teaching us about reparentingour mind and teaching ourselves
to go back to that time, and Iactually use that in it as an
interview answer, one of thequestions that tip, cause I've
been on lots of interviews,which I think I do pretty well.
I think the reason I wasstruggling to find work was my
(08:52):
limited availability right,because I am a mom first.
But they asked a question likewhat is it that drives you?
Or, you know, why do you wantto work in this space?
They all ask all thosequestions and one of my answers
is that every day I am mindfulabout not just how I treat
(09:17):
others with kindness and grace,but towards myself.
Yeah, and since I have startedbeing kinder to myself, because
I can't control my first thought, but I can control my second,
and when I realized that, I wastelling myself yes, shiny, you
can do this, there is a job outthere for you.
(09:39):
You just haven't found it yet.
You'll find your right place,and that's how I felt about this
place and I know, you know I Ihaven't even started yet and I'm
you know already to to tootingmy horn, to toot as you should.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Well, you're gonna crush it, yeah and then there's
a reason why those other oneswere no's, and this is what I
try to keep telling my kids.
And, just in general, it's likethat door was not meant for you
and we get so upset, and it'sokay to be upset, but let's keep
it moving.
Yes, god has a special placefor you, and this is literally
(10:11):
you.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
That place embodies who you are you get to, you get
to bring out your food, youdon't?
You're not just stuck backthere where you don't see
anybody and you don't, you don'tget to share with other people.
And this is another way that mypeople get to come.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I know I can't wait to come visit.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Maddox likes all those fancy drinks, loves all
the cool coffees and the coolteas and stuff, so he'll love
that.
I'll bring him Same my kids do.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
And I mean, how fun would it be to read or sing or
do a little comedy?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
skit at open mic.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
What can I do?
What can I do?
Are you kidding?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
you're good at everything.
You can read people's futures.
I would be the psychic.
Corinne is so funny because Isense energy like very well, and
I used to think it was weird,but now I'm accepting it.
Corinne's like anywhere we goshe's like what do you feel
about that person?
I'm like it doesn't work thatway.
Like I have to be around likeit just doesn't work that way.
She's so funny, but anywaysliving alone.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Sometimes at nighttime I get scared.
I I shit you not okay.
Sometimes at nighttime I getscared and I get in my head
about it and I'm like noleonette says I'm gonna be
somebody, so I'm gonna liveright, because I'm gonna be
somebody.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
She's gonna be somebody in this world, so I'm
like I'm gonna die tonight.
Yes, you are that's I.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I shit you, not I.
I think those thoughts, well,that's really great I'm so
excited for you.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I'm excited, shiny.
I can't wait to come visit.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Yeah, thank you, and and you know what you just said
we, we are here for each other,to lift each other up, and
that's what we want for all thewomen listening, all the people
listening yeah, be excited ifyou don't have a group of women
that get excited for your, foryour success.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Uh, you need to find new friends because as soon as
you said it.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I was like, oh my gosh, like I just oh, it's so
exciting and your food is sogood and creative and you're so
passionate about it.
I could see like curating,curating cur geez menus for them
and like them coming to you andbeing like, hey, shiny, do you
think you could whip up a dishfor this event, or whatever.
So that's really cool.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
And it could be the start of your other ideas.
Yeah, the teas and stuff, ofcourse.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Of course, oh, yes, thank you.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Well, I can't had a physical since 2018, not 2019.
That's what it said on my shoton my charts, whoa.
So yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
So I said I have to takecontrol of my health.
So I went and got blood workdone and guess what?
I have high cholesterol like,really high, like all of them,
(12:42):
isn't it pre?
It's Well, that's different.
So there was a high cholesteroland my glucose is like
literally like on the cusp ofnot being good.
It's like the bottom number?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Did you do a hemoglobin A1C?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
I don't know what the hell that is.
I just talked to the nurse.
I don't know what that is.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I just got my blood drawn and they told me and I saw
it on the thing and I've beenwaiting to talk to the nurse to
see what the hell I'm supposedto do now.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
So no, this is what they said.
So I finally talked to thenurse today because we've been
playing phone tag.
I have to avoid for the nextfew weeks.
I have to avoid all white carbs, sugar and alcohol.
And I have to take fish oilpills 2,000 milligrams Okay, and
then I go back to get my bloodretaken and I think that's a
(13:27):
great plan.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
So fish oil doesn't work for me.
It gives me indigestion.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
What the hell is that supposed to do?
I was going to Google it.
I haven't had the time yet.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
But it does work for a lot of people.
Okay, and all that advice isgreat advice.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yes, how strict are how?
How strict are they on the out?
No alcohol like.
How strict is that?
Is it like no alcohol or justlike a little bit is okay, or is
it like none?
Can I drink my wine with myfood and I'll be okay because I
(14:00):
can cut it out, but I need mywine.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
can we find a different drink for you to like
with your food?
Do you think I need something?
Because wine is like one of theworst alcohols for you.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Okay, you guys can find something for me.
That's an alternative, a betteralternative.
What about what dad?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
does?
You don't like the spritzers,like the Trulies.
That has alcohol in it.
I know, but they're to come upwith the plan.
You're going to find adifferent drink that's healthier
.
I can't drink water with mymeal.
No.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
And if I can't have sugar, I can't freaking drink
anything else you can have likea spritzer or something so.
Elsie cannot just have waterwith the meal.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
That's boring, I think trust me, I'm the alcohol
expert.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yes, you are.
If you guys don't know, she'san alcoholic, I'm an alcoholic.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Hi, I'm Brie.
Hi, I'm Brie.
I'm an alcoholic.
But like the spritzers andstuff, I think that they only
have like 100 calories.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
They're very low in sugar.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I just need something that's not water Because I was
telling Brie.
Well.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I'll have a Dr Pepper .
I Not water Because I wastelling Brie Girl have a Dr
Pepper.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Well, that has sugar in it, and I don't do sodas
anyways.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I'm not a big soda girl.
She's obsessed with Dr Pepper.
Used to be my drink.
I love Dr Pepper, but it's aproduction for me.
I know for some people You'vealways said that yeah, to me I
love.
It's like a comfort thing.
I sit down, I have my meal, Ihave my glass of wine.
So I need something to replacethe wine.
So I can't come.
No more lattes for me, shiny,so I can't come.
(15:30):
So I think I can't have.
See, I can't have thesepastries on this.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Well, there's always there's always a replacement.
I can have tea with no sugar,even if you, even if you go to
Starbucks, there options likepeople who have a dairy allergy
there's.
There's alternate, like there'salternative.
Yeah, so we're gonna find you adifferent drink that you like.
I'm sorry I can't sample itwith you, but we're gonna find
you a different drink that youlike, okay, and you can enjoy it
with your dinners but wine isterrible for you.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Well, yeah, but a dirty martini is dry I know, but
they say, but they said noalcohol I think it's's, I think
it's every in moderation.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
In moderation, yes, but even the wine in moderation,
for your sugars and things likethat is not good, okay, so I
can do everything else I canstop with sugar.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
We already Googled all the foods that I should be
eating and it's everything thatI like no carbs, I can do all of
that.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
You're a high-protein girl.
You love vegetables.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
I can eat all that.
It's the no wine thing.
I know I sound like a wino, Iknow I'm not an alcoholic, but I
like.
What's wrong with that?
I just like a pairing.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
A good glass of wine to pair with your food is my
thing.
So if you guys have anysuggestions, please let me know.
And it can be a fun adventurefor you too to try different
drinks.
With each meal you try adifferent drink and see what you
like, see what you don't like.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Oh, I like it Like a tasting.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yeah, yeah, okay, and making an effort to walk a
little bit after the meal.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Oh no, I just want to veg out on my couch and watch a
show.
I know I can't go walking.
I love to walk, but after ameal I know, I agree.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I used to always wonder why people would walk
after their meal.
It makes sense.
All I want to do also is that.
All I want to do also is that.
But they say that that doeslike a remarkable change for our
blood glucose and our.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Why do you do something?
That it's either that or I willjust have to go on ozempic.
I told Brie I'm like are theygonna say ozempic?
I know well, because I haven'ttalked to the nurse.
I'm like are they gonnaprescribe ozempic now because
I'm pre-diabetic?
Well, that's what the papersaid.
When I talked to her today, shedidn't even mention the glucose
she was focused on thecholesterol and so she's like
(17:48):
okay, any questions?
I'm like yeah, what about myglucose?
She's like oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, no sugar.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
And I'm like okay, the good news is for you you're
not starting from scratch, likefor me.
I would not know where to begin, because I love carbs.
I love, you know, indulging insweets every now and then.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
You're a really healthy eater, that's what the
people say, but obviously myblood work does not say that I
am.
It's the wine, it's the fuckingwine, it's the wine, all right.
So, anyways, that happened andI'm going to be okay, guys,
absolutely, and I'll be a skinnybee because all that sugar is
not going to be in my system.
So that's exciting.
I won't look so bloated in myface.
(18:25):
I don't feel like you lookbloated in your face.
Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I'm just trying to come up with the positives of
all of this, I think Victoria'sSecret is going to be calling
you soon.
Secret's going to be callingyou soon.
You're going to be an angel.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Oh, I always wanted to be on the runway.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
I have.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I could totally see you.
Oh my gosh.
Well, anyways, I will come toyour little establishment after
this journey because I want togo and eat.
She can come before there arethings there.
I'll go and I'll sit and I'lldrink my water.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
No, they have healthy drinks in Scott too.
Of course they do, okay.
There's alternatives toeverything, absolutely, even if
you go to an ice cream shop.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
They have sugar-free ice creams, low-calorie ice.
That sounds disgusting.
I know, I'm just sayingSugar-free ice, saying I'm just
saying there's alternativeseverywhere you go.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yes, but honestly, to be honest, the sugar and like
candy, like that kind of stuffeven though I do like my sweets
every now and then that's nothard.
The carbs aren't hard becauseyou can replace it with like
zucchini, squash and all thatkind of stuff.
I'm okay with that.
It's just Cauliflower pizza.
I can do it.
I can do that flour pizza.
I can do it.
(19:38):
I can do that a thousandpercent.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
It's just going to be very intentional and purposeful
.
So well, just look, think of itthat you did it.
You did the blood test.
Now you're aware, yeah, and Idon't have to like do anything
drastic.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I was thinking, oh my gosh.
I kept telling Bree I wasjoking, but um, I was like I'm
going to have to be on insulinand I'm going to be on Ozempic.
I don't want to have a littlebody with a big head.
No, I'm kidding For those whoare on Ozempic.
It's okay, I'm not, I'm just I.
The way I cope with things ishumor.
Same, so I'm not making fun ofanybody.
(20:12):
I'm just saying for myself likeI would be terrified to like
inject myself with stuff.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
So yeah, but you will do whatever you need to do.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
I will, I will, I will.
But, brie, yes, we haven'ttalked to you in a hot minute.
I know we need to like getpeople caught up.
What's like the?
You know, the summary of what'sbeen going on in your life.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Well, the last time I was here I was happily married,
except I was not happy at all.
It sucked.
Hated being married.
I'm getting a divorce Damn shewent straight in.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
She didn't even like ease us into it, no foreplay,
she just like just stuck it inthere.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Nothing.
Um, I'm getting a divorce, yeah, um, um, I asked my husband for
a divorce on mother's day ofthis year and I moved out.
When did I move out?
Uh, june, no, yeah june.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I think it was the very beginning of june I moved
out.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I got an apartment for my two boys and I still here
in petri corners.
I'm never leaving petri corners, and it's been hellacious.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I love how she loves Peachtree Corners so much.
I love that it's home.
I love it Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
So just a tiny little backstory.
So when I first started workingat the office, I was exposed to
, like um, I don't know how toexplain it Just, I guess just
Peachtree Corners in general,and just like it's a different
way of life out here than whereI was living at the time and the
people are different,Everything is different.
(21:45):
I love the city itself becauseit's very suburban, but also you
can get to Atlanta very quicklyand if no matter what you need
whether it be a new outfit, apair of shoes, a piece of
chicken, no matter what you want.
Whether it be a new outfit, apair of shoes, a piece of
chicken, no matter what you want, you can get it within five
minutes from where I live.
So I love Peachtree Corners andI think that when you um as
(22:06):
young as I was and you'reexposed to a place in, like my
role models at the time, like mydad or Dr Talley and Leonette
um, and stuff like that, youkind of see their way of life
and you gravitate towards that,and so I wanted to be, like you
know, live in Peachtree Corners.
So that's always been a dreamof mine.
So that's the only good thingthat came out of my marriage
besides my son, um, so I'm stillhere in Peachtree Corners and I
(22:31):
am separated.
I'm gonna get the ball rollingon divorce you also were looking
for a job.
I was looking for a job and I amin the interview process.
Just go get it though.
Yeah, I hope so.
It's your third Tomorrow's mythird interview.
It's an in-person interview.
(22:51):
It's for a sales position for ahome and remodeling company.
They were like number 14 inFortune magazine for top places
to work and it's a very soughtafter company.
They have like 250,000applicants a year and my first
year I could make six figures.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
So and this chick.
See, I told her this kind ofjob would stress me out because
I'm not a salesperson.
That would be the very bottomthing that I would ever want to
do was sell anything to anybody.
But this chick is like she cansell anything to anybody
anywhere.
Like, seriously, Thank you,Like so I'm so excited for you.
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
It's a lot of face-to-face interaction, which
is what I love.
Like when I worked at thepractice, I could never be one
of those people that sat in anoffice or sat behind the wall or
anything like that.
I love face-to-face interaction.
It seems like a wonderfulcompany to work for.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
The hours are great, they're conducive with my
schedule, with my boys and themoney is really good and, for
example, so right when you movedout, you did work at a
dealership.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I did.
I worked at a car dealership.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
She literally just walked in and said, hey, I need
a job, and they literally hiredher on the spot.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
And they said what to you?
That your first car you'll sell.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
They said that it would take me.
It would take me.
It was like three months.
No yeah, it was like 90 days tosell my first car and I sold
nine while I was there.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
And not to toot my own horn, but I just I love that
.
It's like a challenge.
Every day is like a new.
You can set your own goals.
I love the idea of um, anuncapped commission, and you
know that sort of thing, so I'mreally excited about it.
And if I were to get thisposition and I and I was making
that kind of money, I could buya home for my boys and I, which
is one of my biggest goals InPeachtree Corners In Peachtree
(24:41):
Corners, of course.
Okay, so yeah.
So that's, I have my finalinterview tomorrow, and
everything that they've said sofar has been really uplifting
and really encouraging and hasled me to believe that I'm
already their number oneemployee.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I love the confidence , me too I love it, I love it.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
No, but I'm excited about it.
So my three-year plan is I'mgoing to buy a home.
I've started going to churchrecently.
Yeah, I'm discovering myrelationship with God has always
been very spotty, but I neededsomething bigger than myself.
I needed something bigger thanmy shitty ass marriage.
I needed something bigger thaneven my boys.
(25:25):
Like, my kids are my wholeentire life, they're my world,
they're you know, everything Ido is revolves around them, no
matter what it is.
I just needed something bigger,like my soul craves something
bigger.
And so I'm on a path journey,if you will, to kind of find out
where I stand in myrelationship with God.
(25:45):
And it's honestly this timecause I've gone to church in the
past before.
I've gone, you know, to churchwith the tallies.
I've gone to church withfriends and, um, there's been
times of desperation that I'veprayed and stuff like that, and
it's always been kind of likeeasy, like I just go, I just go
to church, I have a good time, Ihear the message, it sounds
great.
This time has been difficultand part of me believes it's
(26:09):
been difficult because I'm trulyinvested, like I want to know.
I want, I want to knoweverything and, um, I'm
questioning everything.
So yeah, I've gone to churchevery Sunday for the past month,
except this past Sunday.
I didn't go.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
I watched it online, but you're still consuming, like
the information I am, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
And it's a part of my like everyday life now, which
is odd, Like I have moments.
So my relationship with prayerwas always holy shit, something
really bad is happening.
Let's pray to God, becausethat's what people say that
you're supposed to do, right?
So I'd be like God, please helpme, like crying, or I'd be like
I know I don't talk to youenough, but like right now I
(26:50):
need you and I promise I'll pray.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, I'll pray until the next catastrophe.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Right until the next catastrophe.
But there's been smallsituations in the past couple of
months where I'm like, dang, Ithink that was a God moment,
like, is this what they talkabout?
I think that was a God moment.
Or even bad times where I'mlike I think that was a devil
moment, you know.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
So, yeah, that's where I'm at.
That's wonderful.
Yeah, I'm excited.
I'm so excited for you, brie,because the fact that you can
openly say that you're analcoholic and I know we're
laughing about it, brie, and Ijoke about sad things- All the
things you shouldn't joke about.
We're talking about her divorceand how tragic it is, and then
we'll just make some stupid jokeand laugh.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
So that's just the way we cope with things Isn't,
it is, and then we'll just makesome stupid joke and laugh yeah,
that's just the way we copewith things.
It's an easy defense mechanism.
Yes, that's ours.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
This divorce has honestly broken me, yeah, I
would say, more than anythingelse ever has I have.
I had this whole idea of whatbeing married was supposed to be
and what I wanted you knowbeing married to be, and would
tell people like, yeah, I'mdoing it right this time.
I got married and then I had ababy and I have this wonderful
(28:03):
husband and, like behind closeddoors, everything was shit, like
I just it felt so good to feelI'm using air quotes normal.
It felt so good for my kids tohave a normal life.
It felt so good for the peoplewho loved me to not have to
worry about me because I wasstable and I was married and all
of these things.
But, um, I was.
I was hiding how, how unhealthyand toxic and evil my marriage
(28:27):
was, and it's the same with myalcoholism.
I hid it for so long and sicksecrets keep you sick.
I genuinely believe that, um,and so, yeah, I'm.
I'm very open about it now I'man alcoholic.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Um and it is it is.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
It's, it's not I joke about it.
Like Leonette said, I jokeabout it, but it is.
It's such a heavy thing to bear.
It really is.
It's, um, because it is a partof who I am.
And if you don't, if you don'tlike something about yourself
you know, even like physically,if you don't like your nose, you
go get a nose job.
If you don't like this, youchange it.
Um, being an out, being analcoholic is something that you
could never, ever change, andthat's a hard thing to grasp,
(29:05):
especially at such a young age Iwas.
I mean, I went to rehab for thefirst time when I was 26, maybe
27.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
I don't remember how old I was.
I think I.
No, I was like 24, somethinglike that.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
I was young, too young to be going rehab, yeah,
um, so it in.
You know, when you think abouta young, single 24 year old,
that's what they do they drink.
Every social thing is drinking,everything is surrounded around
drinking.
So I was in um, a stage ofdenial for so long and then,
when, when something bad wouldhappen or I would feel internal
pain or like this mentalheaviness, that's what I would
(29:45):
turn to was alcohol, because itmade me not feel all of that
anymore.
And I think that once I Irelapsed a few months ago back
in right after my divorce.
I relapsed Well ago, back inright after my divorce.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I relapsed.
Well, you're not divorced yet,you're still married, I know,
right after my separation.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
It was June.
I like to pretend that it'sover.
No, it was before you, it wasMay.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
It was before you left the house.
It was before I left the house.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
And it wasn't as bad Like.
I only drank for a couple ofdays and, and you know, leonette
can attest that when I drink Idrink.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Um but this time.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
This time it wasn't as bad.
I, I, I was kind of able tocatch myself.
Um, and I'm just man, it's sucha tired life to live.
Like, and the pretending I'm sotired of pretending, I'm ready
to just take off the mask and so, um, that's that it is a part
of who I am and I either beproud of it or I suffer from it.
(30:46):
Um, and not necessarily proudof it, but I own it.
I guess is a better thing tosay Like I own it or I suffer
from it.
Um, I own it or it owns me, I'mso proud.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
No, I really am proud of you.
And the only input because youknow, you and I talk a lot all
the time, almost every day thislittle nugget.
I don't like to talk on thephone, but there's certain
people that I can just talk toShiny, you're one of them.
Sometimes Shiny will be drivingand she'll call me, but there's
certain people that I can justtalk with for hours and you two
(31:18):
are one of them.
But we've been talking a lotand I'm just so proud of what
you're doing and I know it'shard.
I mean, we talk about the hardstuff and just keep focusing on
yourself.
That's what I keep telling youFocus on yourself and focus on
your boys and everything elsewill work out.
And I hate that.
There's certain people in yourlife that will throw your
alcoholism in your face like asan insult or as a my husband.
(31:40):
I wasn't trying to name names,he didn't say his name.
We tried to specify who, butthey throw it in your face as
like an insult or to hurt you,it's weaponized, it is.
And it's frustrating because Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I have my opinions on that because it's an insecurity
and they know that it hurts me.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
You know, take your biggest insecurity and they say
it as an insult, but yet theydon't do anything to really help
the situation, if that makessense.
Like they're not doing,anything.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Well, because when I'm drinking I'm weak.
Yeah, and some people like tokeep me weak, yeah, and so, of
course, they wouldn't want tofix it.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Yeah, because sweet grief is easy grief.
I think also it's intimidatingthat you have the courage not
only to recognize what you weredoing but to make it better.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Thank you, it's honestly, it's been a long road
Like it hasn't been.
It hasn't just been like, oh, Ithink I have a drinking problem,
let me quit Like there's been.
It's been so many bumps and somany setbacks and so many and,
and the shame and the guilt isthe worst part of it all.
I have so much shame, I have somuch guilt.
(32:51):
You know, you guys know that Igrew up, you know I was raised
not raised, actually, sorry momUm, they were your parents.
Yeah, my parents are both, areboth addicts and you know, my
sister died of a drug overdoseand so, um, drugs and alcohol
are so prominent in my family,it's in my DNA, it really is.
But it's such a shameful thingand it's so taboo and it's it.
(33:14):
I have suffered from so muchguilt and so having my parents,
you know, in the state that theywere in growing up made me, you
know, as an alcoholic.
It made it, put me in thatplace.
I, in my mind, I'm like, oh,I'm just like my mom.
I'm like, oh, I'm just like mymom, I'm just like my dad, I'm
(33:36):
just like my mom, but I'm outhere fighting like hell to where
you know, so that my boys can'tgrow up and say the same thing
and, um, you know, making surethat they they have a childhood
that they don't have to recoverfrom or they don't have to heal
from in the same way that I have, is my number one priority.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Um so, I'm doing great.
I mean, you're incredible.
Oh my God, Thank you.
And we tell her that causethat's such a young age for you
just to just get it.
I know it's hard.
I know you're going through itright now and you sound amazing,
but I know, behind closed doorsyou're.
You know it's been very, veryhard, but for you to figure this
, out, I know, and a day I knowand people don't make it easy
(34:10):
for you.
So it just if people could justback the hell off I'm.
I am like, I'm such a protectorwhen I love somebody that I
literally have to stop myself,yeah, from like putting
inserting myself, because I havemany words to say to many
people, not just one, or two.
There's a few of them out therethat I just want to tell them
(34:35):
like it is, but I know that'snot going to do anything, but I
want you so badly.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
So anytime I know you call me yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I'll be there.
We don't live that far awayfrom each other.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
The issue is that you're too smart for them.
I know, no matter what you saidthey would be like, first of
all, they would probably receiveit, because there are certain
people in my life that areintimidated by you.
They should.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Thank you and you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
And so they would probably receive it, but then it
would just be used as oh well,leonette's coming.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Well, no, we were getting our nails done yesterday
and we were talking about thiskind of stuff and I'm like
nobody tests me like that.
I'm like I'm waiting forsomeone just to be like I wish
they would.
I wake up every morning Like Iwish someone would.
Because we've talked about this, because we?
Speaker 3 (35:14):
we have dealt with the same similar people.
Yeah, and you would.
You've asked me why does thatperson say that to you?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
But they don't say it .
They would never, they wouldnever.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
I think that that's wonderful.
Is it because they know I'llthroat punch them?
I'm not really going to do it,but you accept.
I think you are no nonsensewhich I love about you.
You're a rock.
You're strong.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Well, it's been 40, how old am I?
44 years in the making.
I wasn't always this way.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Well, you know, it's not even a quantity right,
that's true.
I feel like my growth has beenslow and then it's sped into
like it really did, so it's justrecognizing, like you did.
If you can name it, you cantame it, yeah, so just the fact
(36:04):
that I like that, the fact thatyou can you're saying it?
Yeah, because I would say thatthe other coping mechanism,
besides you guys saying that youlaugh.
We do laugh a lot Is denial,yeah, denial is a strong one, it
is true, and alcohol is a verysocially acceptable.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Oh, a million percent Addiction.
It's not like meth Meth I'dhave to search for.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
This shit, I can't go get a piece of garlic bread
without finding it.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Okay, yes, you can say, hey, I'm gonna go pick up,
I can't go get a smoothiewithout them being like do you
want it spiked?
Speaker 3 (36:38):
no, yes, yeah I agree , yeah, and, and we're in a,
we're in a time, or just societyitself, when we're all hanging
out, the one person who doesn'ttake the drink, yeah is
questioned yeah, yeah it is.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
And actually recently I had somebody tell me because
I was invited to go out fordrinks and I'm like, no, I don't
drink.
And they're like everybody whodoesn't drink has a story, and I
was like, okay, bob, yeah, Ihave a story, but I'm not going
to tell you that and that's justlike it is, but it's true.
It's true If somebody says theydon't drink, it's not because
they're watching their freakingcholesterol, it's because
(37:16):
they've been in a college for 10years.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
You know what I mean?
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
That's a good one.
It's like Leanna.
Why aren't you?
Speaker 1 (37:24):
drinking.
My cholesterol is really high.
I'm going to use that.
Cholesterol's really high.
I'm going to use that.
And my glucose is borderlinepre-diabetic.
Sorry guys, I just had my bloodtest.
Yeah, I'm going to use that.
And they're braced next to meand they're like why aren't you
drinking?
I'm an alcoholic.
I'm an alcoholic.
Is your cholesterol high too?
No, but I'm sure you've been.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
I've been in this situation, you know, way back
when I didn't take the drink.
Everyone was taking a shot ofsomething somewhere and I didn't
take the drink.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
and everyone's like Shani's pregnant and I hadn't
announced it yet, like years ago, and you were pregnant.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Yes, I was, but I remember thinking oh my goodness
I should have just taken it andthrew it over my shoulder.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yes, we know people that do stuff like that.
Just throw it over the shoulder.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Not me.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
You drink it, take it and run and drink it and you
make sure every little drop isin your system.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Sorry, I interrupted you, and if you don't want yours
, I'll take yours too.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
No, I was going to say why don't we just smoke?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
We just pass the joint, listen okay, when are we
going to legalize that inGeorgia?
So am I allowed to talk aboutthat?
Let's do it.
We can talk about whatever thehell we want.
So so this time around has beenthe easiest being sober has
ever been.
I think that there are a lot offactors that go into it.
I think number one I'veaccepted it.
(38:39):
I'm no longer a closetalcoholic.
I am.
The cashier at Walmart knowsI'm an alcoholic like.
I just don't give a shit.
Who knows anymore, um.
And so I think there are a lotof factors, obviously my kids
being probably the number onething.
Like I'm so driven to make surethat they have a good and
healthy mom, um, and then also,like a little part of it is out
(39:00):
of spite, like the people whoare in my life like mentally
beating the shit out of me.
I'm like you watch bitch, um,but but uh, so I have, I've,
I've found these like cbd drinksand because a lot, of, a lot of
it for me is, um, it's kind oflike the, the act of doing it as
well, like you have somethingthat you look forward to every
(39:22):
night and no matter how hardyour day is and no matter how
and I know this is taboo.
To talk about it like, oh well,you shouldn't, you shouldn't
need a vice?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah, we do.
We all have it.
I don't give a crap.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
I need something to look for.
I'm in the middle of a divorce,okay.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
I'm overcoming childhood drama.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
I'm a single mom to two boys.
I have a toddler.
That's enough right.
And so I do Like.
I like my vices.
My vice because I only have oneWell, reality TV.
So I found these CBD drinks andthat has changed the game for
me because I have it's the sameeffect.
You feel that lightness andthat relaxed and that almost
(40:01):
tipsy feeling.
So for me, the type of alcoholicI am, I am a completely
non-functioning alcoholic.
When I drink I cannot function.
I might drink at a social eventand, you know, have a good time
, be the life of the party, andthen I'm gonna go home and drink
until I pass out, like I justcannot function with alcohol.
I mean me and alcohol just youdon't love each other.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
No, no, no, I loved him.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
He ate it up, um, so, so, but with the CBD drink.
So it's, it's a spritzer, justlike you know what a truly would
be, or whatever.
So at nighttime I put my kidsto bed and I have my spritzer
and it's um, you know CBD.
I buy it at the like, thelittle uh vape store right by my
(40:44):
apartment.
Um, and it gives me all of thesame feelings, like I feel
relaxed, I feel optimistic, Ienjoy my TV much more.
I, you know, I'm not, um, I'mnot like a stress eater.
When I'm stressed out, I have astruggle to eat, um, and that's
been kind of a hard thing forme throughout all of this, but
(41:06):
I'm able to.
I wish I couldn't eat when Iwas stressed.
I'm the opposite it, it, it'sbad yeah, it's bad um, but it
helps me to eat you're likenelly, my mom.
Yeah, that's why you guys areso little um, but so at night
time, like I'll cook my kidsdinner and feed them dinner, and
then at night, like after theygo to bed, I have my little
(41:27):
spritzer and I'll either you,you know cook something for
myself, or it's just it's so Idrink them too, and they are,
and you don't feel it's not adrunk feeling.
It's like a chill.
It's a chill feel and then whenyou, let's just legalize the
shit all over the place, butit's legal here.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
It is legal here because it has, a Don't come at
me.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
No, no, it's all over .
I mean, it's all over us.
Even though marijuana is not,or cannabis whatever we want to
call it is not legal.
There's doses of it that youcan buy.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
That you can buy.
I think it's like under 10grams or 6 milligrams, I don't
know.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
So it's all very legit.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
And my thing is like, if we can go buy alcohol, then
why can't we go buy this stuffand not be ashamed of it?
We all know what it feels liketo wake up after a night of
drinking, right, whether youonly had two drinks or whether
you had 20, it's a shittyfeeling.
You feel groggy, you feel slow,you feel unmotivated, you feel
foggy you need to be the sponsorfor like uh the advertiser for
for this drink.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Yes, hit me up if you hear this, because you're
selling it.
I want to buy some crescentnine.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
I am your girl, um yeah but it's just, it is it's
the best thing.
So I think I honestly and notto like glorify another vice,
but I'm glorifying another vicelike I hate, how taboo it is.
Like anybody.
They're not anybody, butthere's been a few people who I
explain this to like inreplacement of alcohol and
they're like well, that's justanother vice okay, susan, I
(42:51):
don't give a shit, but there'speople that exercise the shit
out of their days, and that, tome, is a vice.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
I'm sorry I don't care if it's seen as healthy
food yeah, phone social mediathere are so many vices watching
tv that's my other people'svice, mine too, gosh, I love my
tv don't take that well we'vetalked about this when there are
a lot of people that feelcomforted when they're judging
(43:18):
someone else.
Oh, a thousand percent.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
And another thing too , just to touch on that again
the social part of it.
So, as a young alcoholic, Ijust turned 30.
Part of it.
So, as a young alcoholic um, Ijust turned 30 and as a young
alcoholic it is, um, it's veryuncomfortable, and not because,
like I, I want people to drinkaround me, because I, I never
(43:43):
want to be the reason somebodydoesn't do what they typically
would do.
You know, just cause I'm around, that makes me feel awkward.
And then you're turning myproblem into everybody's problem
.
Like, I just hate that.
And so, like, socially, if I'mgoing to a social event and
people are able to drink, Ibring my little spritzer and I
still feel like a part of it.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
And like I don't know , I think that that is so true,
and this is completely notcompletely, but a little
different.
I remember Oprah saying thatshe wanted to cut back on coffee
, her caffeine intake, but whatshe really was craving when she
realized it was this warm cup ina mug and how comforting it is
(44:22):
in the morning.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
A million percent, yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
So she realized she needed, whatever her replacement
was, that it still was servedin that mug and that you know it
was warm and comforting.
I feel the same way about what?
Because I, I, I know people whostruggle with addiction and I
think my problem that I I had to, I had to have a a small
(44:49):
reaction to, was being stillinclusive.
Yeah, to the person who doesn'tdrink, cause I remember someone
asking oh, this person doesn'tdrink, do they still want to
come?
And I said yes, just like Isaid to you, I still want you to
come and we'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
I can't eat anything Cause I'm kidding, I'm making
jokes.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
I know I can't find something.
We'll figure out what makeswork, because it's the same
thing with you.
Know my lateness.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
I want whoever's there say it's a dinner.
Speaker 3 (45:19):
I want everybody to start eating or drinking and
having a great time, and I willcome in.
Think of it the other way ifevery single person in at the
party or at the dinner iswaiting on you, that doesn't
make you feel good when you'rein the door.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
You feel like a burden you feel.
Well, it doesn't feel good forthe people waiting.
It's like I got here on time,why we got away from the late
person I would say it feels.
Speaker 3 (45:45):
It feels bad on both sides yeah you can't say oh,
we're just waiting for you, sothat's the polite thing to do,
that we all start to be together.
No, I think there's noformalities.
Yeah, that's a good analogywhen we're together, we think of
each other, and I'm not goingto be offended if you already
(46:06):
started eating or you starteddrinking or whatever it is
you're eating or drinking,because really the whole reason
we're together is to be together.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
And there should be no judgment on if Leonette's on
a diet we're not going to callher out on it.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
It's called the lifestyle Shiny.
I don't believe in diets.
I believe in lifestyle change.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
I feel comforted when people drink around me.
Yeah, because it makes me feellike I'm not hindering what they
would want to do, or somethingthat they would do on average,
like to accommodate myalcoholism.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Absolutely.
It makes you feel more included, that they feel comfortable to
be themselves.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Yeah, it's a burden.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
Well, can we talk about your mom?
Do you think she would be okay?
Yeah, it's a burden.
Well, can we talk?
Speaker 2 (46:50):
about your mom?
Do you think she would be okay?
No, yeah.
So whenever I told her I wascoming here today to record, she
was like when is Leanna goingto help me write my book?
Oh yeah, she wants to write abook.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Shani.
Speaker 3 (46:59):
Oh, you know, I do too.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
So let's like have writing sessions or something.
Maybe we just we'll brainstorm,maybe just start writing facts
down and then we can do thewords.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
I'm not a writer like that, though you can read some
of your pieces at Open Mic Night.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
But, no this is since we're talking about being open
and we're making changes.
So her mom just graduated from.
What did we call it Drug?
Speaker 2 (47:29):
court.
Speaker 3 (47:30):
Okay, explain what it is.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Because I was invited and we went.
What was it Friday?
Friday morning.
There's a lot of drama thatwent with it, but we'll start
with the positive.
Come back next week and findout what happens in drunk court.
(47:53):
It goes from us wanting tocelebrate Brianna's mom to
something very traumatichappening while we're there.
Also, we talk about ourchildren, about gun control and
gun violence.
Gun control and gun violenceand you will be here to witness
a woman's brain and how we gofrom a very serious conversation
(48:15):
and serious topic to us beingsilly.
And yeah, a woman's brain isvery complicated, as you all
know.
So have a wonderful rest ofyour week and we will see you
next time.
Bye.
Thank you so much for listeningto Virago 24-7.
(48:37):
If you haven't done so already,go ahead and hit that subscribe
button and please give us fivestar ratings.
Also, don't forget to follow uson Instagram, at Virago247, and
on Facebook, at Virago247.
And just connect with us andshare your story.
(48:58):
We'd love to hear from you.
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