September 25, 2025 • 45 mins
I had the most vulnerable and empowering conversation with Xochitl Carmona, founder of Werk Mija and host of the Werk Mija podcast. As a fellow Latina entrepreneur and now mami, Xochitl opened up about her "dramatica" entrance into motherhood, her NICU experience, and how she's intentionally redefining what it means to be a Latina mother while running a successful business. This conversation touched my heart because it reminded me why we need to keep sharing our stories - especially the ones our cultura has taught us to keep quiet about.
For detailed show notes, visit vivalamami.com/episode138
What You'll Hear:
- How Xochitl transitioned from solo entrepreneur to intentional mama business owner and the mindset shifts that came with new priorities
- Her raw and honest birth story - from a healthy pregnancy to an emergency C-section due to HELLP Syndrome and 48 days in the NICU
- Why she decided to break the cultural silence around traumatic birth experiences and how vulnerability became her strength
- The challenges of being a NICU mama and how she's advocating for other families going through similar experiences
- Her approach to redefining motherhood by leading with intention rather than following outdated expectations
Resources Mentioned:
- Viva la Mami guest episodes featuring Latina moms sharing unexpected childbirth stories:
Ways to Follow Xochitl:
- Werk Mija website: werkmija.com
- Follow @werkmija on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok
- Listen to the Werk Mija podcast
- Shop Werk Mija products!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (00:00):
So help syndrome.
It's basically when, like theliver and enzyme levels are just
kind of off, you're, you havelow platelets.
So it's like osis, elevatedliver enzymes, low platelets and
basically your, your body's justkind of breaking down in itself.
on the day there with myhusband, they're like, you have
help syndrome.
(00:20):
I don't really know what thisis.
I just know the best option forthis is to.
Like preeclampsia.
It's to cure, it is to deliverthe baby right then and there.
That's what's gonna be best formom and baby and for me under
anesthesia.
So basically I couldn't be awakeand because of that, my husband
(00:42):
couldn't be there with me.
You know, but you know, what doyou do?
We're like, okay.
Like, then they're like, and weneed to move now.
So very dramatic.
So I was like, oh, this baby'sbeing born today.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (01:58):
Ola, Ola Amiga.
Welcome to another episode ofViva la Mami podcast.
I am.
So honored to have an amazingHIA and overall who is doing so
much for the community throughher products.
And just like the messaging thatshe has, I, I have her sweater,
but it's already packed inMexico.
(02:18):
I really want to spotlight,this, business just cause I feel
like Xochitl have.
Done a really unique businessmodel, I think, and I would love
to hear a little bit more aboutthat, but also your motherhood
story, because that's somethingthat, it really hit me as, as a
listener who also listens toyour podcast, the Werk Mija
(02:40):
podcast.
And I think that, there's just alot that.
Latinos have to break from.
And the first thing that we needto do is just share and talk
about our experiences.
So I think this episode's gonnabe a little bit of twofold,
right?
Uh, you as a business owner, butyou as a mama as well.
(03:01):
So, Xochitl, if you can tell ourlisteners a little bit more
about yourself and we can getthis
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (03:06):
Of course.
Hello.
Thank you so much for having meon.
Hello everybody.
My name is X Carmona.
I am the owner of a Werk Mijaand Appel branded podcast.
For Latinas who unapologeticallycelebrate their culture through
empowering and relatablemessages.
We started off with just acafecito monk because our love
(03:26):
for cafecito is embedded in ourculture so much.
That was our"Chingona Fuel" mug.
And since then we've expanded toapparel accessories with
motivational sayings like our"Bet on yourself mija"
sweatshirt.
"No pares mija" T-shirts.
And as I become a mommy now wehave sweatshirts and merch, like
the"Mamis Club (03:46):
Cansada AF" sweatshirts and coffee mugs.
But I am a Latina from ChicagoSouth Side, and I also grew up
in the little villageneighborhood, predominantly
Mexican neighborhood here inChicago.
I graduated from the Universityof Illinois, uh, Champaign
(04:07):
Urbana.
And I, at some point just wasnot fulfilled with my career and
I decided, you know, in 2020 I'mgonna start Werk Mija, because
this is a brand.
This was something that I reallywanted for myself.
I wanted my culture representedin my home goods and in my
apparel items.
And we are about to celebratefive years in September.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (04:30):
Wow, that's awesome.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (04:33):
Thank you.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192 (04:34):
That's amazing.
No, that's great.
And I, I've been knowing aboutyour business for a very long
time.
Uh, right when we were out ofthat quarantine, right.
Like shelter in place.
And so as we were like kind ofslowly coming out, uh, I
remember going to this event.
At the Berwyn Shops and you hadyour little storefront and I
(04:56):
loved it.
I just loved the quality of theproducts, but also just like the
messaging and how, uh,culturally related and relevant
it is to our community.
And I often struggle withfinding products that literally
speak our language.
And so I'm so glad and.
you know, selfishly, I'm, I justlove that you're local here in
(05:19):
the Chicago area because I thinkthat we need a lot of
representation specifically onthe
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (05:23):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (05:25):
uh, because I don't really see that,
I see that a lot in likeCalifornia and Texas, but
oftentimes I don't see that as,uh, quite often here in the
Midwest specifically.
So kudos to you.
I love it.
And, and so now you are a mama.
And so how has becoming a momchanged the way that you run
(05:46):
your business?
Can you tell us a little bitmore, especially for those moms
who are either entrepreneurs oraspiring entrepreneurs, or that
are entrepreneurs but aretransitioning into motherhood,
how does that really
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (05:57):
Oh, it has changed so drastically.
So honestly, for those who don'tknow, I am what you would call a
solo entrepreneur.
It is just.
Predominantly me, obviously, youknow, I have great support and
help from like my husband youknow, parents, uh, family,
friends who are really greatgetting the word out about my
business.
They kind of help here and therewhen and where they can.
(06:19):
But a lot of it's me, it's medesigning, it's me coming up
with every phrase and everythingyou see for our merchandise.
Also, it's me doing the podcast,it was me doing the storefront,
uh, here and there.
I would have help, likecontractually kind of helping
with stuff.
So.
I have to like even think aboutit too.
It's like when I think about2023, me when, you know, I feel
(06:40):
like there was, that was theyear of the bro shops.
That was probably my craziestyear ever.
That was going into three yearsin business versus 2025.
Me, maybe even 20, 24, me, 2024.
I was pregnant as of likeJanuary, up until July and then
we had baby, right?
Like it's almost like twodifferent people.
And I even, I sometimes like itinitially I would kind of think
(07:03):
of it like, oh, is this like myslow down quote unquote.
But I do like to kind of thinkof it as more of, I'm more
intentional about how I dobusiness now.
I feel like as the years haveprogressed in my business too, I
have been more intentional aboutwhere I put my time and energy.
And I think especially now morethan ever, that I'm a mom.
(07:25):
My energy, I want the majorityof it to go towards my son, my
family, right?
So when I think aboutopportunities, it's not only
financial, is it a goodopportunity, but is it worth my
energy?
Is it really, it has to be worthmy time.
And you know, is this worth mytime away from my son?
(07:46):
I have to.
I factor that in too as well.
And 2023, like I said, I was asolo entrepreneur.
It was very much like, likelet's go, go, go, go, go.
It was, you know, the Chino nafuel to the max.
and it was just like, oh, hey,there's this opportunity.
I would kind of factor it intodoes it make sense for me on the
larger scale?
Because as much as, you know,I'm kind of doing as much as
(08:08):
possible, I have to wear my CEOhat more than every anything.
And if I'm doing all the littlethings, you know.
I can't be doing the largerscale strategic planning.
So even in 2023, I was stillkind of thinking like that, but
it was like, Hey, it is a greatopportunity.
Let's jump on it.
Oh, this is on a Tuesday, aThursday afternoon, let's do it.
(08:28):
You know, like my schedule is myown.
Now as a mom, my schedule is notmy own.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (08:36):
Yep.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_19 (08:36):
I have a new boss.
You know, it's.
It obviously, especially whenit's like a weekend event.
You know, dad's there.
Alright, cool.
You know, he works Mondaythrough Friday as a teacher.
Weekends, you know, I can do anevent, I can jump on that a
little bit easier, butsometimes, you know, some of
these corporate events, they'regonna be on a Thursday starting
at 9:00 AM to like four duringthe day Friday.
(08:58):
I have really great help fromlike my, and like my stepmom and
dad even.
So during the week, you know,it's like, uh, are, but it's
like, are you available now?
I have to kind of check withsomeone else.
So it's kind of like my freedomin a way to do what I think is
(09:20):
best is kind of cont contingentupon somebody else's schedule
uh, based off of what I can kindof do.
So I think it's changed likethat.
And even for me though, because.
Being in the Berwyn shops,having a physical storefront was
just so time consuming.
Like we are only open Friday,Saturday, and Sunday.
And for those who don't know,it's like a kind of an
(09:43):
entrepreneurial program.
Unfortunately we could only bethere only for a season which I
wish, hopefully we get theopportunity to do it again.
They open it up.
but that was exhausting andhaving to be somewhere
physically every day.
I already knew for like 2024.
I was gonna focus more on likewholesale.
Where I could, you know, doproduction from home on my own.
(10:03):
More of like on my own time,work from home type things.
That was already the plan.
And then I got pregnant and thenI was like, well, luckily that
worked out because, you know, itwas harder to do in-person
events too.
Uh, just because physically,right.
I'm a first time mom.
I know there's some moms who areout there pumping out iron, you
know, working out like crazy.
(10:23):
Like, good for you.
Good for you, girl.
I wish I could, I wish I could,but one.
I was way too tired.
And two, I was just, you know,paranoid, you know, I was like,
I just wanna do, I did nice longwalks and try to keep the energy
that way, but I was, you know,kind of paranoid about how much
I should be like caring andthat's just physically taxing to
begin with.
So I think moving on now with mychild, those are some of the
(10:45):
things I'm thinking about.
But then also it's like, how canI kind of be at home a little
bit more?
But I also like that.
I have the job or created thejob for myself and the schedule,
and I can kind of create thatschedule that works for us now.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (11:00):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Which,, that's the freedom ofentrepreneurship, right?
We get to pick and choose whatis a priority, what is
realistic, and what would giveyou the best ROI Return on
investment.
Whether if that's time or moneythat you want to invest in.
And, and I think that that isthe beauty of it.
(11:24):
But also how intentional you areas well.
And I appreciate you sharingthat.
Because oftentimes for me, evenlike personally, I struggle
because I'm like, oh my gosh, Iwant to have all my T's crossed,
all my i's dotted.
You know?
And, and that's because I'm thattype.
A type person, and I'm such aperfectionist, and I'm like,
(11:46):
okay, I want this all to goaccording to plan.
But as we know, when you havekids, they can get sick or, you
know, they, an accidenthappened.
Oh my gosh.
My kid literally just busted hisfinger because the older brother
literally closed the door athim.
I, and I'm
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (12:03):
Oh my God.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (12:04):
On?
And so it does make it a littlehard in that way, but I think
that.
It's also important that as amom and entrepreneur, you build
this community, that you havethis community.
So I don't know have you built acommunity of other mamas who are
entrepreneurs and how relatableis it, or how empowering is it
(12:25):
for you to build, to have this
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_19 (12:27):
I think it's not something I've
built from the ground up.
I think it's more so nowconnecting more with those maybe
friends that I've had on adifferent level who are also
moms.
It's a very much now like, ah,you get it.
Uh, I get it now, you know?
I have some HEA
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (12:46):
Mm-hmm.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (12:46):
where they're just like, you know,
when I'm a mom, I wanna be amom, you know, so I'm going to
take my time to respond to youbusiness wise because I'm in mom
mode, you know?
And I was like, wow, I, I getthat now myself too, for me.
I felt like I was very muchlike, I need to get back to
this.
I need to get back to this likeasap, asap, you know, type of a
deal.
But for me now, it's very muchlike if you're not my son, it's
(13:09):
not urgent.
I'm sorry, you're not my, ifyou're not my child, it's not
that urgent.
You can wait.
I need to put that on my, like eemail.
Send off or sign off.
If you're not my child, you canwait 24 to 48 hours for a
response.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (13:23):
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
Yes.
And, and it's telling, you know,who a woman who's not,
especially for the directpeople.
Right.
I'm not talking about those
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (13:32):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (13:32):
or whatever, right.
That are just like trying toscam you.
But yeah, and it is telling, youknow, who
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (13:38):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (13:39):
who is not and, and you know,
sometimes.
We have to give ourselves grace,you know?
And for me, like I, I get veryanxious to not respond to
someone, but I'm like, you knowwhat?
No.
Like,
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (13:50):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_ (13:51):
priority.
There's a reason why I decidedto be a stay at home mom.
I two out of nine to five anddifferent types of careers.
And I decided to just leave thatbehind and start anew and, and
build, you know, Viva ami, butalso to focus on.
Raising my two little ones.
And it does make it difficultfor those that don't get it
(14:12):
until it hits
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (14:14):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (14:15):
until they become moms and they're
like, oh, I actually understood.
And that was me too.
Like, I remember when I would beimpatient with
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (14:22):
Mm
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (14:23):
Who was a mom before me.
And I was like, why isn't sheresponding back?
Or why isn't, you know, sheattending the events that
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (14:29):
mm
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (14:30):
But
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (14:31):
You get it.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (14:32):
It's hard.
Motherhood is hard, and yeah,karma has
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (14:37):
Or you know, like the people who
get where it's like, yeah, ittakes me two to three business
days to respond to a text.
You know, if I responded, if Iresponded right away, guess
what?
You caught me hands free.
Maybe baby's baby is with Papaor something.
Or it's 11:00 PM at night andI'm catching up, you know?
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (14:54):
I know the struggle is real, let
me tell you.
And so let's, uh, talk aboutyour story because I think that
I really wanna highlight yourbirth story.
And I've had many mama share.
there are birth stories, and Ithink this is as, as a Latina
motherhood podcast, right?
I want to spotlight thosespecific experiences and stories
(15:16):
so that other maas who eitherare listening or who knows,
someone who has experiences thatthey're not alone.
I think it's very important forus to share, you know, but there
are certain things that we keep.
And it's like, no, this is anopportunity for us to kinda open
up.
And your episode episode 72 ofthe Werk Mija podcast.
(15:39):
It's titled Dramática EntranceInto Motherhood, which I love.
Yeah, like you shared such avulnerable story And how it made
you decide to open up about yourNICU experience.
So can you tell our listeners alittle bit more?
Obviously they can listen toyour own episode, but just a
little glimpse of it as far aswith, why you decide to open up
(16:00):
to, um, the public about
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (16:02):
sure.
And I don't know why I had afeeling it'd be.
Entrance into mother.
Like, I just, I just knew, oreven in the episode I kind of
mentioned I had a dream, youknow, uh, during that, like, uh,
halfway through scan, 20 weeks,you know that this baby is going
to come two months early and itwas the craziest dream ever.
(16:23):
I've always been, been a vividdreamer.
I was due in September, so I waslike, oh, okay, we're gonna have
a, we're planning for September.
Baby came two months early inJuly, just like I had predicted
in the dream.
And I remember texting mysister, I was like, uh, you
probably gonna think I'm crazy,but I gotta tell somebody in the
case that this happens, thisdream fully comes into fruition
(16:47):
and I gotta document it.
That, you know, I'm not justmaking these things up.
And it was like I had a dream.
I blacked out.
And my son came two monthsearly.
This is before I predictedgender.
This is, you know, when Ithought my due date was gonna
be.
And you know, in general, peoplewere asking me, what is your
birth plan?
And it's weird.
We, like you said, I am veryType A too.
(17:09):
And so I thought during mypregnancy, like I'm gonna be
very like rigid, crazy, hangry,BA type A.
I was super chill.
I was a complete opposite.
Like I was very much like, gowith the flow, you know,
chilling, unbothered vibes.
Don't worry that change back tomyself now.
But you know, people would askme, I was like, birthplace.
I was like, I guess I should,you know, do some, what are
(17:30):
people still doing Lama?
Like, what's going on?
Like, you know, can I look up avideo online birthing, right.
I'm think, I'm thinking it'sgonna be a, a vaginal
experience.
You never know.
And that was always in the backof my mind.
You never know.
All I want is for everyone to behappy, healthy, and safe, and
you know, somehow that somewhatended up happening.
(17:51):
But honestly, I was healthy.
I was healthy throughout all ofmy pregnancy.
It was very just smooth sailing.
At most.
I was super tired.
I had the second trimester waslike that second trimester.
What is it like the energy boostyou get, which is really, really
great,
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (18:06):
Yeah.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (18:06):
also, if you're an entrepreneur
pregnant, second trimester,like, don't let second trimester
d Lulu, uh, make you overloadyour schedule.
Like think like I can, I can doan event at like 31, 32 weeks
pregnant at.
No, you can't girl.
'cause as soon as I hit thatthird trimester, I was like, no,
you can't cancel that, cancelthat.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (18:27):
Yeah.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (18:28):
But you know, we're a monitoring
baby and, you know, he wasstarting to look a little bit
smaller in general, buteverything was always good and
healthy.
So, you know, just to be safe,they put me on just to kind of
heart monitor rate and doultrasounds.
Everything was great, I think,until my blood pressure.
Was raised.
I've never had high bloodpressure.
(18:48):
I really didn't have any othersignificant symptoms.
Because once again, I feel likethat's the thing too.
A lot of preeclampsia typesymptoms can also be pregnancy
symptoms, right?
Like you're extra exhausted.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (19:03):
Like you're tired,
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (19:05):
Your your feet, your feet are
swollen, my feet would getswollen.
But if it was really hot and Iwas walking and then, you know,
they'd kind of go back down.
Right.
So I, any of these quote unquotesymptoms I was having, I was
starting to feel like crap.
But I was like, is it pregnancyor is it something else?
And.
You know, until I got that highblood pressure reading, uh, is
when they took me into extramonitoring.
(19:26):
And I especially wanted to sharemy story too, because I had
never heard about HELP Syndrome,which is what I was diagnosed
with.
And I feel like a lot of peopleprobably hadn't heard of Help
Syndrome.
I've heard of preeclampsia.
I've, I've never heard of HelpSyndrome, which is what I was
diagnosed with.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (19:45):
And
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-20 (19:46):
Sorry.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (19:46):
our listeners who don't know what
that is, can you explain to uswhat it is or it, I'm
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (19:52):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (19:52):
an acronym, right?
Like,
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (19:53):
Yeah.
So help syndrome, it's to put itlightly, it's a more severe form
of preeclampsia and it's sosevere.
It's in its own category.
So help syndrome.
It's basically when, like theliver and enzyme levels are just
kind of off, you're, you havelow platelets.
So it's like osis, elevatedliver enzymes, low platelets and
(20:16):
basically your, your body's justkind of breaking down in itself.
You know, you don't have those,the platelets is what's kind of
helps you from hemorrhaging.
it kind of helps you frombleeding out.
so because I was diagnosed withthat and on the spot, they're
like, okay, you have a couple ofoptions.
But.
This is why we don't recommend avaginal birth and, or a regular
(20:40):
C-section where it's with anepidural, which, you know,
typically you'll see you'reawake.
You, they kind of just have likethat blue type of, uh, tarp like
over you.
But you can still kind of beaware.
But like they said, you couldn'tdo that because of your health
syndrome because basically youprobably wouldn't, you probably
wouldn't survive it.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (20:58):
Oh
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (20:58):
And I remember as we were monitoring
baby, they're like, as long asthey kind of get around to the
32 weeks that's what's going tobe safest for baby.
And we had just made it to, thatwas a 32 and a half weeks.
So I mean, just to kind of onthe day there with my husband,
they're like, you have helpsyndrome.
I don't really know what thisis.
I just know the best option forthis is to.
(21:21):
Like preeclampsia.
It's to cure, it is to deliverthe baby right then and there.
That's what's gonna be best formom and baby and for me under
anesthesia.
So basically I couldn't be awakeand because of that, my husband
couldn't be there with me.
You know, but you know, what doyou do?
We're like, okay.
Like, then they're like, and weneed to move now.
(21:44):
So very dramatic.
So I was like, oh, this baby'sbeing born today.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (21:48):
Oh wow.
Yeah, and I'm sure that, I mean,could hit anyone, right?
And, and just like sudden andunexpectedly and knowing that
you're in this transition of, ofbeing a mom too, like there's
just so many nuggets here thatit's just.
Wild.
And, and you mentioned on yourepisode that you talked about
(22:09):
not feeling like a mom right
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (22:11):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192 (22:11):
birth.
Is it because like suddenlydramatically is it because you
felt that you weren't prepared?
Because I don't know if your,you know, the bag was packed or
whatever.
Right.
So like, can you share moreabout that experience?
Like why did you feel that
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (22:29):
Yeah, I feel like because I blacked
out and I woke up and it's likeyou quote unquote had a baby
who, where's the baby?
You know, and you, I don't knowhow many days it is when you
typically do like, maybe like avaginal birth.
A hospital stays at like twoday, one day, two days.
(22:50):
but for me, I think we went in,it was at Tuesday.
He was born at 3:00 PM and thenwe, I think we got discharged
Friday.
So I was there.
Obviously c-section recovery alittle bit longer, and it's
because you're there and it'salmost like.
I guess you are in thiswhirlwind plus you're doped up
on like magnesium.
(23:12):
to sp specifically keep you fromhaving seizures because of the
HELP syndrome.
Because even what I learned,even after you give birth, which
is what's supposed to help, youknow, cure the help syndrome,
you're still at risk ofpostpartum health syndrome.
So you can still have a seizure,you can still be complications.
I'm like, great.
(23:32):
So it's like you're, you're kindof navigating in like a daze.
You're not there with your baby.
You know, luckily he was in thenicu and my husband was great
going back and forth, uh,visiting him, visiting me, but
he don't have him therephysically.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (23:49):
Yeah.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (23:50):
like that part gets me all the time.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (23:53):
And I think it's because, you know,
we often think of.
Childbirth
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (23:58):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192 (23:58):
bliss.
We think of childbirth as likejust this positive experience.
Very, it's very sweet and youknow, everything's gonna be
okay.
And the thing is though.
has their own unique experience,and for those that we often want
to have their experience are theones that just have amplified
(24:22):
that these voices, right?
They've amplified like, oh mygosh, I had such
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (24:25):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (24:26):
and it was great.
The ones that are often silencedare the ones that have had
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (24:33):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (24:34):
birth experience, and especially in
our community, in our, like, youdon't hear about this until
years later, like.
I just knew that one of mysecond Theos was a
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (24:48):
Oh yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (24:48):
and guess he participated his
parents, like, had himparticipate in this research
study about, you know, babiesand, and how it's like being in
the nicu.
And this was
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (24:59):
Mm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (25:00):
the eighties and
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (25:00):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (25:01):
what?
Like, I didn't know this.
Like, you know, and so it'slike, no, like I think you are.
Still
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (25:08):
Oh, yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (25:08):
because
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (25:09):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192 (25:09):
right?
You are still thinking aboutthat and that experience itself.
And and I just can't imaginewhat it's like for a mama to
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (25:18):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (25:18):
in and not really share it to
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (25:21):
Oh yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (25:21):
who either expecting or who have had
that experience.
And, and it's not to like, youknow, scare
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (25:29):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (25:30):
I don't think that that is the
mission or, know, or to make.
People feel guilty, like formyself, right?
Like I had a very quote unquotenormal type of birth experience,
and I shouldn't
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (25:42):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (25:43):
either.
I know that it gets complicated,right?
Because a lot of times it'slike, well, I wish I had your
experience or this, this andthat, right?
But I think that it's just amatter of normalizing our
experiences and recognizing thateach.
Story is going to be different.
Each birth story is going to bedifferent.
And so I don't know if you haveany thoughts about that.
(26:06):
Like you, had this experience,like how did, how are you
healing with this?
I guess that's my question.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03 (26:13):
Honestly, it's talking about it.
I am a talker.
I am a CI am a communicator.
Like in my relationships, likeI, if there's an issue or
something, I need to talk aboutit.
I just need to verbal word vomitout in order to ba, you know,
just like.
Feel better about it.
You know, I did, I was doingtherapy, talk therapy, and I
feel like that helps.
(26:34):
It just helps you process a lotof things.
and just letting yourself feelright.
Just cry, you know?
And typically I've, like, pretherapy is just very much like,
no, like don't, but honestly,it's like, girl, just be a,
like, let it out like a lot oftimes for me, until I let it
out.
Like, does that help?
And honestly, even like, I feellike stress for me presents
(26:59):
itself so physically if it getsto be too much.
I've had so many instances in mylife where, and I, it's like,
you know, whether it's like workstress, life stress, like where
it'll, a couple things happeneither if it's really bad like
my neck like I just can't movemy neck, like the, like nerve
damage or something.
(27:19):
I remember the doctor's like, Idon't know why you get this.
And it was happening to me for awhile and it was like tic
colitis.
I don't know what, but basicallyit was happening during extreme
stress.
And then most recently, wheneverI've had it, and then I have
extreme back pain.
And I remember I was like, do Ineed to see a chiropractor?
Do I need, no, it was stre.
I just needed to cry.
(27:39):
I just needed to have a goodcry.
And it's just crazy how muchlike, you know, keeping it in
can really affect youphysically.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (27:49):
Oh
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (27:50):
so no, let it out.
Talk about it.
But then also I think a part ofme Too, why I wanna talk about,
it's not only for like othermoms to feel like they're not
alone for other moms who,because like you said, there's
like this idea of what yourpregnancy or what your birth
story.
You know, should be like.
Right.
(28:10):
But I think it's also for likefamily and friends of someone
who is pregnant, is a mom whohas given birth.
I guess it's not something wetalked about with like our
family.
Something I highly encourage,you know?
But like, obviously we were justlike.
I'm kind of glad, maybe like alittle bit, uh, post COVID,
there's like more regulations,how many people can be in the
(28:32):
room.
Right.
You know, so it's, uh, so I waslike, I don't care if my parents
ask him, be like, they said onlyone.
I only, I only want my husbandthere.
There are some people who wanttheir moms there, you know?
Okay.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (28:42):
Yeah.
xochitl--her-_1_ (28:43):
Understandably so.
If that's you, I only want myhusbands there.
That's our experience.
For me personally, that's, youknow, what I wanted.
But I think especially forfamily members to understand
maybe for after.
Birth experience because Idon't, I feel like a lot of
people just assume you had ababy, let me go visit you in the
hospital.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (29:01):
Mm-hmm.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_19 (29:02):
I guess I didn't think I needed to
tell people like, I don't wannasee you like in the hospital.
Or there's people who like tryto come afterwards, whatever.
But I think especially with thatexperience, you know, I'm
recovering from a C-section, youknow, my baby's in the nicu.
It's a little bit more, youknow, like.
(29:22):
I did have family show up, butnot only show up, but show up
unannounced.
You know, like
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (29:29):
Oh my God.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (29:29):
you, that was just, okay.
Not only that, but then theycame with like, thank you so
much.
I, I appreciate the thought, butfrom my perspective, you're
coming with flowers andballoons.
This is a, this isn't a hotelstay.
This is a tiny little room.
And I just gave birth.
I don't know what's going on.
There's all these things, morestuff we have to pack into the
(29:50):
car more.
Like don't, don't bring flowers.
Don't bring gifts.
Like wait till I get to waittill I get home.
And even then, for mepersonally, even less,'cause
I've got a whole baby to takecare of, you know?
So there's like that whole like,why did you come?
You know, like maybe let's thinkabout this.
Ask, let's ask the birth mom.
(30:11):
What do you want?
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (30:12):
Yep.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (30:13):
the best time to visit?
And or if you are gonna visit,bring me food, you better come
with food.
You know, don't come to visitjust to see the baby, like you
do something for me.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1 (30:22):
Exactly.
Like, come do the laundry for
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (30:24):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (30:25):
you know, wash the dishes for me.
Don't just sit and just likehold the
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (30:29):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (30:30):
and,
xochitl--her-_1_06-0 (30:31):
especially for that experience too, it, it
was like a whole differentthing.
I think a lot of family membersdidn't realize what the
situation was.
You know, and I think forsomeone like me who has like
high anxiety too, I'm, uh, overhere trying to recover.
I have quote unquote guests, soI'm feeling like, am I supposed
to entertain you?
(30:51):
They're like, no, no.
Then I was like, what are wegonna do?
You just wanna chitchat, like,I'm recovering.
I want to go see my child, ifanything, you know?
So I also share for thatpurpose.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (31:01):
Yes, absolutely.
And, and there's no shame aboutthat, right?
Like, I think that you haveevery Right.
To just talk about how you, howyou felt, right?
Because I, I'm sure that at thatmoment you were.
such a vulnerable state, right,where you can't, you know, you
just didn't have the opportunityto speak up.
But I think now it's just like,an
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (31:21):
Yes.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (31:21):
moment.
I don't wanna say like a lessonor, you know, you know, like
we're not, we're not trying toguilt you, but I, I think it's
more so how can we
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (31:29):
Yes.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (31:30):
about this if another situation were
to come?
Because you never know, likethere's so many.
Again, childbirth.
Is it, it, it's something thatwill never
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (31:42):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (31:43):
Like even like if you have a second
baby, your second childbirth isgoing to be completely different
than your first, and, that'ssomething that I think we just
need to bring that awareness.
And it sucks that, a lot oftimes, like people have to do
the work, like you are doing thework of like talking and sharing
and it could be triggering foryou or it could be, you know,
again, you, you may cry againand, and stuff.
(32:04):
But I'm glad that you arespeaking up and you are sharing
your story so that family can beaware of this and.
That way they know, what theyshould or shouldn't do.
And I know that it's so hard,especially in like, we're all
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (32:19):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (32:22):
And I get it.
But, with your baby being in thenicu what was the hardest part
of being about being a NICU mom?
And what kind of support did youget during those days while your
baby was there?
Yeah, I'm curious how you weretreated
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (32:36):
Yeah.
Honest, the hardest part isleaving him there every day,
which we had to do for 48 days.
I.
You know, not to say that thedays got easier.
I think we just became a littlenumb maybe.
Or it was just like, there'sjust so much going on while
you're there, you know?
(32:56):
So it's like, it's just go, go,go, go, go.
Meanwhile, mind you, I should berecovering from a C-section, but
from day one, you know, I'mtrying to weather the first
couple days via wheelchair, youknow, having my husband take me.
The next couple days, it's like,yeah, you should do some mild
exercise.
You know, walk a little bit andwalk right.
But you're walking through ahospital.
(33:18):
So it's like, I, I can, I, Idon't even feel like I ever
really did recover, which I feellike is a whole nother thing for
C-section moms, you know?
So it's like you, and like evendifferent things in ways trying
to like, you know, take care ofhim and stuff.
But honestly, I think having toleave him every night, and I
think it would always get to me.
On our way home.
I, that's when it was like, I'mfine.
I'm fine.
(33:39):
As soon as we would kind of likeget to our block, it's like
you're coming home and you'recoming home to your quote
unquote, like empty nest, right?
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (33:49):
Yeah.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (33:49):
that was the hardest part.
But also I am thankful that Ichose the hospital that we chose
because it was central, youknow, rush Hospital here in
Chicago.
It was central to everybody.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (34:00):
Mm-hmm.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (34:01):
And also I think it was, once again,
my husband, it was gonna be hisfirst year teaching.
So it kind of worked out.
I say Mateo did us a solid, youknow, two months early, so we
kind of had that, you know,August before he started, you
know, school to kind of be therein the hospital with me every
day, to, so we could go.
'cause we were gonna be thereevery day.
(34:22):
But then after a while we haveone car, so how are we gonna do
this right?
Especially'cause the hospital'sgreat and there's a whole
program where you can get freeparking for NICU parents, which
is a blessing and a financialblessing on its own because, you
know, hospital parking is notcheap and.
So we got that covered, but thenit was like only a one in, one
out type of a deal.
(34:42):
So I was like, how do we do it?
You know?
Do you drop me off before youget to work?
Do I drop you off?
And, you know, it was crazy.
But luckily my brother-in-lawwas like, I'll take you, uh, and
then Frankie can come my husbandand, you know, pick you up.
And we didn't know how long wewere gonna be there.
We're like, this could be awhile, dude.
But he did it, you know?
And.
(35:02):
I was so grateful for thatbecause that was one less
stressor because even just beingthere from like 10:00 AM uh,
which even I still feel guiltyabout being there.
So quote unquote late, righttill 8:00 PM at night.
Right.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (35:15):
Hmm.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (35:15):
Till as late as, you know, I kind of
could be.
That's so draining.
I.
It's draining to be in thehospital.
We did get a, I think they havea great program for the nicu
where we could kind of leave ourstuff there.
That was our room.
We could have a breast pumpingmachine designated just for me
so that I could essentially keepup.
(35:35):
With the pumping, which I'mgrateful I was able to pump
milk.
But you know, they did have aprogram there, you know, maybe
for moms, if your milk didn'tcome in, they have like milk
donors from like women who havean excess supply, which was
great.
But I'm gonna admit, at the sametime I was like.
I was gonna feel some type ofway if I had to give my son the
(35:56):
donor milk, you know, I know itwould be great.
What Fed is best, right?
Whatever you way you choose.
We do formula now.
You know, fed is best, but Iknow, you know, for that to be
his first personally I think,you know, I would've felt, but
you know, my milk came in.
He's only had mama's milk andlook Kirkland Formula now.
Uh.
But, you know, I was able to dothat and even they say, you
(36:19):
know, having pumping with yourbaby there also helps.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (36:23):
Mm-hmm.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (36:24):
in general, we had a good hospital
stay.
We had some great support.
You know, we had family whowould come a visit, grandparents
and, you know, siblings whenthey kind of could.
So I was, I was, I was grateful.
You know, he had family there.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (36:38):
yeah, and again, we don't think about
like those long stays, we don'tthink about, not returning back
home with our baby and.
I'm just glad that I, I have youhere that you are able to share
your story once again becauseit's, it's just a matter of
normalizing this conversation.
Just like you think of theconventional and typical way of
(37:02):
when a baby is born, right?
Like, there are so many nuancesand, and I've had a variety of
mamas here on the podcast,similar to your experience as a
NICU mom, my very own cousin whohad her baby.
Very early.
Also a mama who had to birth astillborn baby.
And again, we just don't talkabout these things and, uh, I, I
(37:24):
am just so appreciative of youjust sharing and, and what that
experience was like.
And again, we, we mentioned howin our cultura, you know, just
we don't.
I guess the Latino culturedoesn't recognize or encourage
talking about traumas.
And so how are you trying tochange that conversation in
(37:47):
addition to you sharing yourstory, right?
Like, what are ways that eitheryou are advocating for NICU moms
or for, babies who were bornearly, like what.
I'm just wondering if you'redoing any work to, dismantle
the, the silence that oftentimesour Cultura
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (38:05):
Yeah, I mean September is NICU
awareness month, you know, sostuff like that, like let's
highlight it.
Or even C-section Moms, Aprilwas C-section Mom Awareness
month.
You know, I know there's somepeople who I've never heard.
Someone tell me directly wherethey're just like, you know,
you'll hear like, oh,'cause youhad a C-section, you didn't
actually, you know, that's not atrue mom or true way to give
(38:28):
birth.
I pray for the day for someoneto come up to me and tell me
that, like, oh hell no.
You know?
So like, advocate for that.
Or I think just in general,like, I think a big part of my
sharing my story was becauseanother Latina friend, you know,
kind of shared her journey withher son.
And I was like, wow, like hadyou not kind of shared that, I
(38:51):
think that kind of helped me getthrough my stay and just kind of
seeing, you know, theprogression and like that day of
when her son kind of finallycame home.
But I think also just ingeneral, I think changing it for
the future, you know, for my sonand, you know, little things,
you know, I'm gonna parentdifferently as in something as
(39:13):
small as.
When things come up, ask him.
How does that make you feel?
That's something my parents, youknow, didn't know how, you know,
we were in trouble or I don'tknow.
Just in general, like, okay, I'msad, you know?
It's like, oh, don't be sad, youknow?
Okay.
Well how about, what do you, howdo you feel about that?
(39:34):
How do you feel?
I don't think I've ever heard myparents ask me that.
How do you feel?
Something bad happening, butlike, how does that make you
feel?
So I was like, I know that'ssomething as small as that.
Even, you know, asking my sonfor that next generation.
Let's talk about our feelings.
Let's process our feelingstogether.
(39:54):
Because I feel like the previousgeneration's very much like, you
have to be strong.
You don't have to be strong.
Being strong is beingvulnerable, I think.
So I think.
Being vulnerable also is a waythat I'm kind of advocating
because, you know, it's like aweakness sometimes people think
(40:16):
being vulnerable.
But I think it's a strength.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (40:18):
I love it.
I love And for a mama who'slike, you know, she either had a
very traumatic birth experienceor having, uh, complications in
pregnancy, what would you tellher?
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-20 (40:32):
You're not alone.
You're not alone.
There's probably someone you canrelate to.
And honestly, I feel like that'swhat Werk Mija.
Like I said, relatable messages,brand.
I think the work may have brand,and my personal brand has always
been relatability.
(40:53):
How can we relate?
Because I think when you canrelate, connect, that is just so
powerful.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (41:00):
I love how you tied that all
together because I, I think thatis so powerful.
Oh my gosh, yes.
and I know that, we have beentaught to not.
Share our stories.
Right.
Especially as,
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (41:16):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (41:16):
and all of the, those sayings.
Right.
And I think that, again, if, ifwe just want to heal from these
lived experiences, it'sdefinitely important to relate
to another person to share.
And because you never know, likeyou said, you're, you're not
alone.
And I love it.
And so I have one last questionfor you that I did not prepare
(41:37):
you because it's my, lastquestion that I ask my guests
here, how are you redefiningMadre
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (41:44):
Oh fuck.
I feel like the whole word, thishas been a big word within this
whole conversation, just beingvery intentional, leading with
intention, not doing things.
Not because they're supposed tobe that way, but like leading
with what feels right for youand your family.
(42:07):
You know, I.
Uh, there's a lot of oldergenerations of moms who did
things a certain way.
And I think especially with mygeneration of moms and younger
you know, there's just so muchmore research and studies and
just so much more information.
You know, we're kind of learningthat the ways things are done,
probably not the safest,probably not the best, and I
(42:29):
know a lot of old schoolgrandmas and stuff will push
that, you know, and make youfeel like this is how you're
supposed to do, but like.
Do what feels best for you andfor your children and your
family, and just be intentionalabout whatever your decisions
are.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (42:46):
And that itself is empowering to do
that.
Like that's when you.
You know, just kind of goingback to my coaster, like, no
miha like you, you just work it,right?
Like you lead with intention.
And I think that can also bereflected in the way that we
mother, right?
In the way that we wanna raiseour, our children.
And I think there's definitely alot of conversation about like,
(43:07):
mujeres being a force.
You know, we are jefas and allof this, then as soon as we
become moms, it's like, oh.
We're gonna retract that, andit's like, no,
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (43:17):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (43:17):
still do this.
And I love that you mentionedhow, like you are still being
intentional about, you know, theway that you wanna raise your
kid, because I think
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (43:27):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (43:28):
So kudos to you and, and kudos to,
the work that you're doing atWerk Mija, so Xochitl, where can
people follow you and buy yourproducts?
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (43:36):
Yes, for sure.
So anyone you can shop online atwerkmija.com.
That's WERKmija.com.
And you can also follow us onsocial media, uh, wherever you.
Like to hang out at Instagram,Facebook, TikTok@werkmija, WERK.
And if not, if you're in theChicagoland area, you can also
(43:57):
shop a bunch of our products atMestiza Shop in Pilsen and or we
are now located in Yo Soy VelaCandles here in Garfield Ridge.
But like I said, since 2024,we've been growing our
wholesale.
So we're in a lot of shops inlike Texas, California.
You Go to our website.
You can see where you can findWerk Mija.
jessica_1_06-0 (44:15):
Congratulations, Xochitl, and thank you so much
for sharing your story.
It's so important, just to.
let women break the silence,right?
So that that way we cannormalize this conversation, we
can normalize that every birthstory is unique.
It could be a little differentthan you would think it is, but
I think that it's a matter ofjust being in full support with,
(44:38):
with the mamas and.
And to also recognize that theirbirth
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (44:42):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (44:42):
as well.
So thank you so much
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (44:45):
break the silence.
Break the cycles.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (44:47):
Yes.
So help syndrome.
It's basically when, like theliver and enzyme levels are just
kind of off, you're, you havelow platelets.
So it's like osis, elevatedliver enzymes, low platelets and
basically your, your body's justkind of breaking down in itself.
on the day there with myhusband, they're like, you have
help syndrome.
(00:20):
I don't really know what thisis.
I just know the best option forthis is to.
Like preeclampsia.
It's to cure, it is to deliverthe baby right then and there.
That's what's gonna be best formom and baby and for me under
anesthesia.
So basically I couldn't be awakeand because of that, my husband
(00:42):
couldn't be there with me.
You know, but you know, what doyou do?
We're like, okay.
Like, then they're like, and weneed to move now.
So very dramatic.
So I was like, oh, this baby'sbeing born today.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (01:58):
Ola, Ola Amiga.
Welcome to another episode ofViva la Mami podcast.
I am.
So honored to have an amazingHIA and overall who is doing so
much for the community throughher products.
And just like the messaging thatshe has, I, I have her sweater,
but it's already packed inMexico.
(02:18):
I really want to spotlight,this, business just cause I feel
like Xochitl have.
Done a really unique businessmodel, I think, and I would love
to hear a little bit more aboutthat, but also your motherhood
story, because that's somethingthat, it really hit me as, as a
listener who also listens toyour podcast, the Werk Mija
(02:40):
podcast.
And I think that, there's just alot that.
Latinos have to break from.
And the first thing that we needto do is just share and talk
about our experiences.
So I think this episode's gonnabe a little bit of twofold,
right?
Uh, you as a business owner, butyou as a mama as well.
(03:01):
So, Xochitl, if you can tell ourlisteners a little bit more
about yourself and we can getthis
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (03:06):
Of course.
Hello.
Thank you so much for having meon.
Hello everybody.
My name is X Carmona.
I am the owner of a Werk Mijaand Appel branded podcast.
For Latinas who unapologeticallycelebrate their culture through
empowering and relatablemessages.
We started off with just acafecito monk because our love
(03:26):
for cafecito is embedded in ourculture so much.
That was our"Chingona Fuel" mug.
And since then we've expanded toapparel accessories with
motivational sayings like our"Bet on yourself mija"
sweatshirt.
"No pares mija" T-shirts.
And as I become a mommy now wehave sweatshirts and merch, like
the"Mamis Club (03:46):
Cansada AF" sweatshirts and coffee mugs.
But I am a Latina from ChicagoSouth Side, and I also grew up
in the little villageneighborhood, predominantly
Mexican neighborhood here inChicago.
I graduated from the Universityof Illinois, uh, Champaign
(04:07):
Urbana.
And I, at some point just wasnot fulfilled with my career and
I decided, you know, in 2020 I'mgonna start Werk Mija, because
this is a brand.
This was something that I reallywanted for myself.
I wanted my culture representedin my home goods and in my
apparel items.
And we are about to celebratefive years in September.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (04:30):
Wow, that's awesome.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (04:33):
Thank you.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192 (04:34):
That's amazing.
No, that's great.
And I, I've been knowing aboutyour business for a very long
time.
Uh, right when we were out ofthat quarantine, right.
Like shelter in place.
And so as we were like kind ofslowly coming out, uh, I
remember going to this event.
At the Berwyn Shops and you hadyour little storefront and I
(04:56):
loved it.
I just loved the quality of theproducts, but also just like the
messaging and how, uh,culturally related and relevant
it is to our community.
And I often struggle withfinding products that literally
speak our language.
And so I'm so glad and.
you know, selfishly, I'm, I justlove that you're local here in
(05:19):
the Chicago area because I thinkthat we need a lot of
representation specifically onthe
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (05:23):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (05:25):
uh, because I don't really see that,
I see that a lot in likeCalifornia and Texas, but
oftentimes I don't see that as,uh, quite often here in the
Midwest specifically.
So kudos to you.
I love it.
And, and so now you are a mama.
And so how has becoming a momchanged the way that you run
(05:46):
your business?
Can you tell us a little bitmore, especially for those moms
who are either entrepreneurs oraspiring entrepreneurs, or that
are entrepreneurs but aretransitioning into motherhood,
how does that really
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (05:57):
Oh, it has changed so drastically.
So honestly, for those who don'tknow, I am what you would call a
solo entrepreneur.
It is just.
Predominantly me, obviously, youknow, I have great support and
help from like my husband youknow, parents, uh, family,
friends who are really greatgetting the word out about my
business.
They kind of help here and therewhen and where they can.
(06:19):
But a lot of it's me, it's medesigning, it's me coming up
with every phrase and everythingyou see for our merchandise.
Also, it's me doing the podcast,it was me doing the storefront,
uh, here and there.
I would have help, likecontractually kind of helping
with stuff.
So.
I have to like even think aboutit too.
It's like when I think about2023, me when, you know, I feel
(06:40):
like there was, that was theyear of the bro shops.
That was probably my craziestyear ever.
That was going into three yearsin business versus 2025.
Me, maybe even 20, 24, me, 2024.
I was pregnant as of likeJanuary, up until July and then
we had baby, right?
Like it's almost like twodifferent people.
And I even, I sometimes like itinitially I would kind of think
(07:03):
of it like, oh, is this like myslow down quote unquote.
But I do like to kind of thinkof it as more of, I'm more
intentional about how I dobusiness now.
I feel like as the years haveprogressed in my business too, I
have been more intentional aboutwhere I put my time and energy.
And I think especially now morethan ever, that I'm a mom.
(07:25):
My energy, I want the majorityof it to go towards my son, my
family, right?
So when I think aboutopportunities, it's not only
financial, is it a goodopportunity, but is it worth my
energy?
Is it really, it has to be worthmy time.
And you know, is this worth mytime away from my son?
(07:46):
I have to.
I factor that in too as well.
And 2023, like I said, I was asolo entrepreneur.
It was very much like, likelet's go, go, go, go, go.
It was, you know, the Chino nafuel to the max.
and it was just like, oh, hey,there's this opportunity.
I would kind of factor it intodoes it make sense for me on the
larger scale?
Because as much as, you know,I'm kind of doing as much as
(08:08):
possible, I have to wear my CEOhat more than every anything.
And if I'm doing all the littlethings, you know.
I can't be doing the largerscale strategic planning.
So even in 2023, I was stillkind of thinking like that, but
it was like, Hey, it is a greatopportunity.
Let's jump on it.
Oh, this is on a Tuesday, aThursday afternoon, let's do it.
(08:28):
You know, like my schedule is myown.
Now as a mom, my schedule is notmy own.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (08:36):
Yep.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_19 (08:36):
I have a new boss.
You know, it's.
It obviously, especially whenit's like a weekend event.
You know, dad's there.
Alright, cool.
You know, he works Mondaythrough Friday as a teacher.
Weekends, you know, I can do anevent, I can jump on that a
little bit easier, butsometimes, you know, some of
these corporate events, they'regonna be on a Thursday starting
at 9:00 AM to like four duringthe day Friday.
(08:58):
I have really great help fromlike my, and like my stepmom and
dad even.
So during the week, you know,it's like, uh, are, but it's
like, are you available now?
I have to kind of check withsomeone else.
So it's kind of like my freedomin a way to do what I think is
(09:20):
best is kind of cont contingentupon somebody else's schedule
uh, based off of what I can kindof do.
So I think it's changed likethat.
And even for me though, because.
Being in the Berwyn shops,having a physical storefront was
just so time consuming.
Like we are only open Friday,Saturday, and Sunday.
And for those who don't know,it's like a kind of an
(09:43):
entrepreneurial program.
Unfortunately we could only bethere only for a season which I
wish, hopefully we get theopportunity to do it again.
They open it up.
but that was exhausting andhaving to be somewhere
physically every day.
I already knew for like 2024.
I was gonna focus more on likewholesale.
Where I could, you know, doproduction from home on my own.
(10:03):
More of like on my own time,work from home type things.
That was already the plan.
And then I got pregnant and thenI was like, well, luckily that
worked out because, you know, itwas harder to do in-person
events too.
Uh, just because physically,right.
I'm a first time mom.
I know there's some moms who areout there pumping out iron, you
know, working out like crazy.
(10:23):
Like, good for you.
Good for you, girl.
I wish I could, I wish I could,but one.
I was way too tired.
And two, I was just, you know,paranoid, you know, I was like,
I just wanna do, I did nice longwalks and try to keep the energy
that way, but I was, you know,kind of paranoid about how much
I should be like caring andthat's just physically taxing to
begin with.
So I think moving on now with mychild, those are some of the
(10:45):
things I'm thinking about.
But then also it's like, how canI kind of be at home a little
bit more?
But I also like that.
I have the job or created thejob for myself and the schedule,
and I can kind of create thatschedule that works for us now.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (11:00):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Which,, that's the freedom ofentrepreneurship, right?
We get to pick and choose whatis a priority, what is
realistic, and what would giveyou the best ROI Return on
investment.
Whether if that's time or moneythat you want to invest in.
And, and I think that that isthe beauty of it.
(11:24):
But also how intentional you areas well.
And I appreciate you sharingthat.
Because oftentimes for me, evenlike personally, I struggle
because I'm like, oh my gosh, Iwant to have all my T's crossed,
all my i's dotted.
You know?
And, and that's because I'm thattype.
A type person, and I'm such aperfectionist, and I'm like,
(11:46):
okay, I want this all to goaccording to plan.
But as we know, when you havekids, they can get sick or, you
know, they, an accidenthappened.
Oh my gosh.
My kid literally just busted hisfinger because the older brother
literally closed the door athim.
I, and I'm
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (12:03):
Oh my God.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (12:04):
On?
And so it does make it a littlehard in that way, but I think
that.
It's also important that as amom and entrepreneur, you build
this community, that you havethis community.
So I don't know have you built acommunity of other mamas who are
entrepreneurs and how relatableis it, or how empowering is it
(12:25):
for you to build, to have this
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_19 (12:27):
I think it's not something I've
built from the ground up.
I think it's more so nowconnecting more with those maybe
friends that I've had on adifferent level who are also
moms.
It's a very much now like, ah,you get it.
Uh, I get it now, you know?
I have some HEA
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (12:46):
Mm-hmm.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (12:46):
where they're just like, you know,
when I'm a mom, I wanna be amom, you know, so I'm going to
take my time to respond to youbusiness wise because I'm in mom
mode, you know?
And I was like, wow, I, I getthat now myself too, for me.
I felt like I was very muchlike, I need to get back to
this.
I need to get back to this likeasap, asap, you know, type of a
deal.
But for me now, it's very muchlike if you're not my son, it's
(13:09):
not urgent.
I'm sorry, you're not my, ifyou're not my child, it's not
that urgent.
You can wait.
I need to put that on my, like eemail.
Send off or sign off.
If you're not my child, you canwait 24 to 48 hours for a
response.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (13:23):
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
Yes.
And, and it's telling, you know,who a woman who's not,
especially for the directpeople.
Right.
I'm not talking about those
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (13:32):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (13:32):
or whatever, right.
That are just like trying toscam you.
But yeah, and it is telling, youknow, who
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (13:38):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (13:39):
who is not and, and you know,
sometimes.
We have to give ourselves grace,you know?
And for me, like I, I get veryanxious to not respond to
someone, but I'm like, you knowwhat?
No.
Like,
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (13:50):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_ (13:51):
priority.
There's a reason why I decidedto be a stay at home mom.
I two out of nine to five anddifferent types of careers.
And I decided to just leave thatbehind and start anew and, and
build, you know, Viva ami, butalso to focus on.
Raising my two little ones.
And it does make it difficultfor those that don't get it
(14:12):
until it hits
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (14:14):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (14:15):
until they become moms and they're
like, oh, I actually understood.
And that was me too.
Like, I remember when I would beimpatient with
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (14:22):
Mm
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (14:23):
Who was a mom before me.
And I was like, why isn't sheresponding back?
Or why isn't, you know, sheattending the events that
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (14:29):
mm
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (14:30):
But
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (14:31):
You get it.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (14:32):
It's hard.
Motherhood is hard, and yeah,karma has
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (14:37):
Or you know, like the people who
get where it's like, yeah, ittakes me two to three business
days to respond to a text.
You know, if I responded, if Iresponded right away, guess
what?
You caught me hands free.
Maybe baby's baby is with Papaor something.
Or it's 11:00 PM at night andI'm catching up, you know?
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (14:54):
I know the struggle is real, let
me tell you.
And so let's, uh, talk aboutyour story because I think that
I really wanna highlight yourbirth story.
And I've had many mama share.
there are birth stories, and Ithink this is as, as a Latina
motherhood podcast, right?
I want to spotlight thosespecific experiences and stories
(15:16):
so that other maas who eitherare listening or who knows,
someone who has experiences thatthey're not alone.
I think it's very important forus to share, you know, but there
are certain things that we keep.
And it's like, no, this is anopportunity for us to kinda open
up.
And your episode episode 72 ofthe Werk Mija podcast.
(15:39):
It's titled Dramática EntranceInto Motherhood, which I love.
Yeah, like you shared such avulnerable story And how it made
you decide to open up about yourNICU experience.
So can you tell our listeners alittle bit more?
Obviously they can listen toyour own episode, but just a
little glimpse of it as far aswith, why you decide to open up
(16:00):
to, um, the public about
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (16:02):
sure.
And I don't know why I had afeeling it'd be.
Entrance into mother.
Like, I just, I just knew, oreven in the episode I kind of
mentioned I had a dream, youknow, uh, during that, like, uh,
halfway through scan, 20 weeks,you know that this baby is going
to come two months early and itwas the craziest dream ever.
(16:23):
I've always been, been a vividdreamer.
I was due in September, so I waslike, oh, okay, we're gonna have
a, we're planning for September.
Baby came two months early inJuly, just like I had predicted
in the dream.
And I remember texting mysister, I was like, uh, you
probably gonna think I'm crazy,but I gotta tell somebody in the
case that this happens, thisdream fully comes into fruition
(16:47):
and I gotta document it.
That, you know, I'm not justmaking these things up.
And it was like I had a dream.
I blacked out.
And my son came two monthsearly.
This is before I predictedgender.
This is, you know, when Ithought my due date was gonna
be.
And you know, in general, peoplewere asking me, what is your
birth plan?
And it's weird.
We, like you said, I am veryType A too.
(17:09):
And so I thought during mypregnancy, like I'm gonna be
very like rigid, crazy, hangry,BA type A.
I was super chill.
I was a complete opposite.
Like I was very much like, gowith the flow, you know,
chilling, unbothered vibes.
Don't worry that change back tomyself now.
But you know, people would askme, I was like, birthplace.
I was like, I guess I should,you know, do some, what are
(17:30):
people still doing Lama?
Like, what's going on?
Like, you know, can I look up avideo online birthing, right.
I'm think, I'm thinking it'sgonna be a, a vaginal
experience.
You never know.
And that was always in the backof my mind.
You never know.
All I want is for everyone to behappy, healthy, and safe, and
you know, somehow that somewhatended up happening.
(17:51):
But honestly, I was healthy.
I was healthy throughout all ofmy pregnancy.
It was very just smooth sailing.
At most.
I was super tired.
I had the second trimester waslike that second trimester.
What is it like the energy boostyou get, which is really, really
great,
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (18:06):
Yeah.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (18:06):
also, if you're an entrepreneur
pregnant, second trimester,like, don't let second trimester
d Lulu, uh, make you overloadyour schedule.
Like think like I can, I can doan event at like 31, 32 weeks
pregnant at.
No, you can't girl.
'cause as soon as I hit thatthird trimester, I was like, no,
you can't cancel that, cancelthat.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (18:27):
Yeah.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (18:28):
But you know, we're a monitoring
baby and, you know, he wasstarting to look a little bit
smaller in general, buteverything was always good and
healthy.
So, you know, just to be safe,they put me on just to kind of
heart monitor rate and doultrasounds.
Everything was great, I think,until my blood pressure.
Was raised.
I've never had high bloodpressure.
(18:48):
I really didn't have any othersignificant symptoms.
Because once again, I feel likethat's the thing too.
A lot of preeclampsia typesymptoms can also be pregnancy
symptoms, right?
Like you're extra exhausted.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (19:03):
Like you're tired,
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (19:05):
Your your feet, your feet are
swollen, my feet would getswollen.
But if it was really hot and Iwas walking and then, you know,
they'd kind of go back down.
Right.
So I, any of these quote unquotesymptoms I was having, I was
starting to feel like crap.
But I was like, is it pregnancyor is it something else?
And.
You know, until I got that highblood pressure reading, uh, is
when they took me into extramonitoring.
(19:26):
And I especially wanted to sharemy story too, because I had
never heard about HELP Syndrome,which is what I was diagnosed
with.
And I feel like a lot of peopleprobably hadn't heard of Help
Syndrome.
I've heard of preeclampsia.
I've, I've never heard of HelpSyndrome, which is what I was
diagnosed with.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (19:45):
And
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-20 (19:46):
Sorry.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (19:46):
our listeners who don't know what
that is, can you explain to uswhat it is or it, I'm
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (19:52):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (19:52):
an acronym, right?
Like,
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (19:53):
Yeah.
So help syndrome, it's to put itlightly, it's a more severe form
of preeclampsia and it's sosevere.
It's in its own category.
So help syndrome.
It's basically when, like theliver and enzyme levels are just
kind of off, you're, you havelow platelets.
So it's like osis, elevatedliver enzymes, low platelets and
(20:16):
basically your, your body's justkind of breaking down in itself.
You know, you don't have those,the platelets is what's kind of
helps you from hemorrhaging.
it kind of helps you frombleeding out.
so because I was diagnosed withthat and on the spot, they're
like, okay, you have a couple ofoptions.
But.
This is why we don't recommend avaginal birth and, or a regular
(20:40):
C-section where it's with anepidural, which, you know,
typically you'll see you'reawake.
You, they kind of just have likethat blue type of, uh, tarp like
over you.
But you can still kind of beaware.
But like they said, you couldn'tdo that because of your health
syndrome because basically youprobably wouldn't, you probably
wouldn't survive it.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (20:58):
Oh
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (20:58):
And I remember as we were monitoring
baby, they're like, as long asthey kind of get around to the
32 weeks that's what's going tobe safest for baby.
And we had just made it to, thatwas a 32 and a half weeks.
So I mean, just to kind of onthe day there with my husband,
they're like, you have helpsyndrome.
I don't really know what thisis.
I just know the best option forthis is to.
(21:21):
Like preeclampsia.
It's to cure, it is to deliverthe baby right then and there.
That's what's gonna be best formom and baby and for me under
anesthesia.
So basically I couldn't be awakeand because of that, my husband
couldn't be there with me.
You know, but you know, what doyou do?
We're like, okay.
Like, then they're like, and weneed to move now.
(21:44):
So very dramatic.
So I was like, oh, this baby'sbeing born today.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (21:48):
Oh wow.
Yeah, and I'm sure that, I mean,could hit anyone, right?
And, and just like sudden andunexpectedly and knowing that
you're in this transition of, ofbeing a mom too, like there's
just so many nuggets here thatit's just.
Wild.
And, and you mentioned on yourepisode that you talked about
(22:09):
not feeling like a mom right
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (22:11):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192 (22:11):
birth.
Is it because like suddenlydramatically is it because you
felt that you weren't prepared?
Because I don't know if your,you know, the bag was packed or
whatever.
Right.
So like, can you share moreabout that experience?
Like why did you feel that
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (22:29):
Yeah, I feel like because I blacked
out and I woke up and it's likeyou quote unquote had a baby
who, where's the baby?
You know, and you, I don't knowhow many days it is when you
typically do like, maybe like avaginal birth.
A hospital stays at like twoday, one day, two days.
(22:50):
but for me, I think we went in,it was at Tuesday.
He was born at 3:00 PM and thenwe, I think we got discharged
Friday.
So I was there.
Obviously c-section recovery alittle bit longer, and it's
because you're there and it'salmost like.
I guess you are in thiswhirlwind plus you're doped up
on like magnesium.
(23:12):
to sp specifically keep you fromhaving seizures because of the
HELP syndrome.
Because even what I learned,even after you give birth, which
is what's supposed to help, youknow, cure the help syndrome,
you're still at risk ofpostpartum health syndrome.
So you can still have a seizure,you can still be complications.
I'm like, great.
(23:32):
So it's like you're, you're kindof navigating in like a daze.
You're not there with your baby.
You know, luckily he was in thenicu and my husband was great
going back and forth, uh,visiting him, visiting me, but
he don't have him therephysically.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (23:49):
Yeah.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (23:50):
like that part gets me all the time.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (23:53):
And I think it's because, you know,
we often think of.
Childbirth
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (23:58):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192 (23:58):
bliss.
We think of childbirth as likejust this positive experience.
Very, it's very sweet and youknow, everything's gonna be
okay.
And the thing is though.
has their own unique experience,and for those that we often want
to have their experience are theones that just have amplified
(24:22):
that these voices, right?
They've amplified like, oh mygosh, I had such
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (24:25):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (24:26):
and it was great.
The ones that are often silencedare the ones that have had
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (24:33):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (24:34):
birth experience, and especially in
our community, in our, like, youdon't hear about this until
years later, like.
I just knew that one of mysecond Theos was a
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (24:48):
Oh yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (24:48):
and guess he participated his
parents, like, had himparticipate in this research
study about, you know, babiesand, and how it's like being in
the nicu.
And this was
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (24:59):
Mm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (25:00):
the eighties and
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (25:00):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (25:01):
what?
Like, I didn't know this.
Like, you know, and so it'slike, no, like I think you are.
Still
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (25:08):
Oh, yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (25:08):
because
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (25:09):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192 (25:09):
right?
You are still thinking aboutthat and that experience itself.
And and I just can't imaginewhat it's like for a mama to
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (25:18):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (25:18):
in and not really share it to
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (25:21):
Oh yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (25:21):
who either expecting or who have had
that experience.
And, and it's not to like, youknow, scare
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (25:29):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (25:30):
I don't think that that is the
mission or, know, or to make.
People feel guilty, like formyself, right?
Like I had a very quote unquotenormal type of birth experience,
and I shouldn't
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (25:42):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (25:43):
either.
I know that it gets complicated,right?
Because a lot of times it'slike, well, I wish I had your
experience or this, this andthat, right?
But I think that it's just amatter of normalizing our
experiences and recognizing thateach.
Story is going to be different.
Each birth story is going to bedifferent.
And so I don't know if you haveany thoughts about that.
(26:06):
Like you, had this experience,like how did, how are you
healing with this?
I guess that's my question.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03 (26:13):
Honestly, it's talking about it.
I am a talker.
I am a CI am a communicator.
Like in my relationships, likeI, if there's an issue or
something, I need to talk aboutit.
I just need to verbal word vomitout in order to ba, you know,
just like.
Feel better about it.
You know, I did, I was doingtherapy, talk therapy, and I
feel like that helps.
(26:34):
It just helps you process a lotof things.
and just letting yourself feelright.
Just cry, you know?
And typically I've, like, pretherapy is just very much like,
no, like don't, but honestly,it's like, girl, just be a,
like, let it out like a lot oftimes for me, until I let it
out.
Like, does that help?
And honestly, even like, I feellike stress for me presents
(26:59):
itself so physically if it getsto be too much.
I've had so many instances in mylife where, and I, it's like,
you know, whether it's like workstress, life stress, like where
it'll, a couple things happeneither if it's really bad like
my neck like I just can't movemy neck, like the, like nerve
damage or something.
(27:19):
I remember the doctor's like, Idon't know why you get this.
And it was happening to me for awhile and it was like tic
colitis.
I don't know what, but basicallyit was happening during extreme
stress.
And then most recently, wheneverI've had it, and then I have
extreme back pain.
And I remember I was like, do Ineed to see a chiropractor?
Do I need, no, it was stre.
I just needed to cry.
(27:39):
I just needed to have a goodcry.
And it's just crazy how muchlike, you know, keeping it in
can really affect youphysically.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (27:49):
Oh
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (27:50):
so no, let it out.
Talk about it.
But then also I think a part ofme Too, why I wanna talk about,
it's not only for like othermoms to feel like they're not
alone for other moms who,because like you said, there's
like this idea of what yourpregnancy or what your birth
story.
You know, should be like.
Right.
(28:10):
But I think it's also for likefamily and friends of someone
who is pregnant, is a mom whohas given birth.
I guess it's not something wetalked about with like our
family.
Something I highly encourage,you know?
But like, obviously we were justlike.
I'm kind of glad, maybe like alittle bit, uh, post COVID,
there's like more regulations,how many people can be in the
(28:32):
room.
Right.
You know, so it's, uh, so I waslike, I don't care if my parents
ask him, be like, they said onlyone.
I only, I only want my husbandthere.
There are some people who wanttheir moms there, you know?
Okay.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (28:42):
Yeah.
xochitl--her-_1_ (28:43):
Understandably so.
If that's you, I only want myhusbands there.
That's our experience.
For me personally, that's, youknow, what I wanted.
But I think especially forfamily members to understand
maybe for after.
Birth experience because Idon't, I feel like a lot of
people just assume you had ababy, let me go visit you in the
hospital.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (29:01):
Mm-hmm.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_19 (29:02):
I guess I didn't think I needed to
tell people like, I don't wannasee you like in the hospital.
Or there's people who like tryto come afterwards, whatever.
But I think especially with thatexperience, you know, I'm
recovering from a C-section, youknow, my baby's in the nicu.
It's a little bit more, youknow, like.
(29:22):
I did have family show up, butnot only show up, but show up
unannounced.
You know, like
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (29:29):
Oh my God.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (29:29):
you, that was just, okay.
Not only that, but then theycame with like, thank you so
much.
I, I appreciate the thought, butfrom my perspective, you're
coming with flowers andballoons.
This is a, this isn't a hotelstay.
This is a tiny little room.
And I just gave birth.
I don't know what's going on.
There's all these things, morestuff we have to pack into the
(29:50):
car more.
Like don't, don't bring flowers.
Don't bring gifts.
Like wait till I get to waittill I get home.
And even then, for mepersonally, even less,'cause
I've got a whole baby to takecare of, you know?
So there's like that whole like,why did you come?
You know, like maybe let's thinkabout this.
Ask, let's ask the birth mom.
(30:11):
What do you want?
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (30:12):
Yep.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (30:13):
the best time to visit?
And or if you are gonna visit,bring me food, you better come
with food.
You know, don't come to visitjust to see the baby, like you
do something for me.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1 (30:22):
Exactly.
Like, come do the laundry for
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (30:24):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (30:25):
you know, wash the dishes for me.
Don't just sit and just likehold the
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (30:29):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (30:30):
and,
xochitl--her-_1_06-0 (30:31):
especially for that experience too, it, it
was like a whole differentthing.
I think a lot of family membersdidn't realize what the
situation was.
You know, and I think forsomeone like me who has like
high anxiety too, I'm, uh, overhere trying to recover.
I have quote unquote guests, soI'm feeling like, am I supposed
to entertain you?
(30:51):
They're like, no, no.
Then I was like, what are wegonna do?
You just wanna chitchat, like,I'm recovering.
I want to go see my child, ifanything, you know?
So I also share for thatpurpose.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (31:01):
Yes, absolutely.
And, and there's no shame aboutthat, right?
Like, I think that you haveevery Right.
To just talk about how you, howyou felt, right?
Because I, I'm sure that at thatmoment you were.
such a vulnerable state, right,where you can't, you know, you
just didn't have the opportunityto speak up.
But I think now it's just like,an
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (31:21):
Yes.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (31:21):
moment.
I don't wanna say like a lessonor, you know, you know, like
we're not, we're not trying toguilt you, but I, I think it's
more so how can we
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (31:29):
Yes.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (31:30):
about this if another situation were
to come?
Because you never know, likethere's so many.
Again, childbirth.
Is it, it, it's something thatwill never
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (31:42):
Yeah.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (31:43):
Like even like if you have a second
baby, your second childbirth isgoing to be completely different
than your first, and, that'ssomething that I think we just
need to bring that awareness.
And it sucks that, a lot oftimes, like people have to do
the work, like you are doing thework of like talking and sharing
and it could be triggering foryou or it could be, you know,
again, you, you may cry againand, and stuff.
(32:04):
But I'm glad that you arespeaking up and you are sharing
your story so that family can beaware of this and.
That way they know, what theyshould or shouldn't do.
And I know that it's so hard,especially in like, we're all
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (32:19):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (32:22):
And I get it.
But, with your baby being in thenicu what was the hardest part
of being about being a NICU mom?
And what kind of support did youget during those days while your
baby was there?
Yeah, I'm curious how you weretreated
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (32:36):
Yeah.
Honest, the hardest part isleaving him there every day,
which we had to do for 48 days.
I.
You know, not to say that thedays got easier.
I think we just became a littlenumb maybe.
Or it was just like, there'sjust so much going on while
you're there, you know?
(32:56):
So it's like, it's just go, go,go, go, go.
Meanwhile, mind you, I should berecovering from a C-section, but
from day one, you know, I'mtrying to weather the first
couple days via wheelchair, youknow, having my husband take me.
The next couple days, it's like,yeah, you should do some mild
exercise.
You know, walk a little bit andwalk right.
But you're walking through ahospital.
(33:18):
So it's like, I, I can, I, Idon't even feel like I ever
really did recover, which I feellike is a whole nother thing for
C-section moms, you know?
So it's like you, and like evendifferent things in ways trying
to like, you know, take care ofhim and stuff.
But honestly, I think having toleave him every night, and I
think it would always get to me.
On our way home.
I, that's when it was like, I'mfine.
I'm fine.
(33:39):
As soon as we would kind of likeget to our block, it's like
you're coming home and you'recoming home to your quote
unquote, like empty nest, right?
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (33:49):
Yeah.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (33:49):
that was the hardest part.
But also I am thankful that Ichose the hospital that we chose
because it was central, youknow, rush Hospital here in
Chicago.
It was central to everybody.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (34:00):
Mm-hmm.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_ (34:01):
And also I think it was, once again,
my husband, it was gonna be hisfirst year teaching.
So it kind of worked out.
I say Mateo did us a solid, youknow, two months early, so we
kind of had that, you know,August before he started, you
know, school to kind of be therein the hospital with me every
day, to, so we could go.
'cause we were gonna be thereevery day.
(34:22):
But then after a while we haveone car, so how are we gonna do
this right?
Especially'cause the hospital'sgreat and there's a whole
program where you can get freeparking for NICU parents, which
is a blessing and a financialblessing on its own because, you
know, hospital parking is notcheap and.
So we got that covered, but thenit was like only a one in, one
out type of a deal.
(34:42):
So I was like, how do we do it?
You know?
Do you drop me off before youget to work?
Do I drop you off?
And, you know, it was crazy.
But luckily my brother-in-lawwas like, I'll take you, uh, and
then Frankie can come my husbandand, you know, pick you up.
And we didn't know how long wewere gonna be there.
We're like, this could be awhile, dude.
But he did it, you know?
And.
(35:02):
I was so grateful for thatbecause that was one less
stressor because even just beingthere from like 10:00 AM uh,
which even I still feel guiltyabout being there.
So quote unquote late, righttill 8:00 PM at night.
Right.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (35:15):
Hmm.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (35:15):
Till as late as, you know, I kind of
could be.
That's so draining.
I.
It's draining to be in thehospital.
We did get a, I think they havea great program for the nicu
where we could kind of leave ourstuff there.
That was our room.
We could have a breast pumpingmachine designated just for me
so that I could essentially keepup.
(35:35):
With the pumping, which I'mgrateful I was able to pump
milk.
But you know, they did have aprogram there, you know, maybe
for moms, if your milk didn'tcome in, they have like milk
donors from like women who havean excess supply, which was
great.
But I'm gonna admit, at the sametime I was like.
I was gonna feel some type ofway if I had to give my son the
(35:56):
donor milk, you know, I know itwould be great.
What Fed is best, right?
Whatever you way you choose.
We do formula now.
You know, fed is best, but Iknow, you know, for that to be
his first personally I think,you know, I would've felt, but
you know, my milk came in.
He's only had mama's milk andlook Kirkland Formula now.
Uh.
But, you know, I was able to dothat and even they say, you
(36:19):
know, having pumping with yourbaby there also helps.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19 (36:23):
Mm-hmm.
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (36:24):
in general, we had a good hospital
stay.
We had some great support.
You know, we had family whowould come a visit, grandparents
and, you know, siblings whenthey kind of could.
So I was, I was, I was grateful.
You know, he had family there.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (36:38):
yeah, and again, we don't think about
like those long stays, we don'tthink about, not returning back
home with our baby and.
I'm just glad that I, I have youhere that you are able to share
your story once again becauseit's, it's just a matter of
normalizing this conversation.
Just like you think of theconventional and typical way of
(37:02):
when a baby is born, right?
Like, there are so many nuancesand, and I've had a variety of
mamas here on the podcast,similar to your experience as a
NICU mom, my very own cousin whohad her baby.
Very early.
Also a mama who had to birth astillborn baby.
And again, we just don't talkabout these things and, uh, I, I
(37:24):
am just so appreciative of youjust sharing and, and what that
experience was like.
And again, we, we mentioned howin our cultura, you know, just
we don't.
I guess the Latino culturedoesn't recognize or encourage
talking about traumas.
And so how are you trying tochange that conversation in
(37:47):
addition to you sharing yourstory, right?
Like, what are ways that eitheryou are advocating for NICU moms
or for, babies who were bornearly, like what.
I'm just wondering if you'redoing any work to, dismantle
the, the silence that oftentimesour Cultura
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (38:05):
Yeah, I mean September is NICU
awareness month, you know, sostuff like that, like let's
highlight it.
Or even C-section Moms, Aprilwas C-section Mom Awareness
month.
You know, I know there's somepeople who I've never heard.
Someone tell me directly wherethey're just like, you know,
you'll hear like, oh,'cause youhad a C-section, you didn't
actually, you know, that's not atrue mom or true way to give
(38:28):
birth.
I pray for the day for someoneto come up to me and tell me
that, like, oh hell no.
You know?
So like, advocate for that.
Or I think just in general,like, I think a big part of my
sharing my story was becauseanother Latina friend, you know,
kind of shared her journey withher son.
And I was like, wow, like hadyou not kind of shared that, I
(38:51):
think that kind of helped me getthrough my stay and just kind of
seeing, you know, theprogression and like that day of
when her son kind of finallycame home.
But I think also just ingeneral, I think changing it for
the future, you know, for my sonand, you know, little things,
you know, I'm gonna parentdifferently as in something as
(39:13):
small as.
When things come up, ask him.
How does that make you feel?
That's something my parents, youknow, didn't know how, you know,
we were in trouble or I don'tknow.
Just in general, like, okay, I'msad, you know?
It's like, oh, don't be sad, youknow?
Okay.
Well how about, what do you, howdo you feel about that?
(39:34):
How do you feel?
I don't think I've ever heard myparents ask me that.
How do you feel?
Something bad happening, butlike, how does that make you
feel?
So I was like, I know that'ssomething as small as that.
Even, you know, asking my sonfor that next generation.
Let's talk about our feelings.
Let's process our feelingstogether.
(39:54):
Because I feel like the previousgeneration's very much like, you
have to be strong.
You don't have to be strong.
Being strong is beingvulnerable, I think.
So I think.
Being vulnerable also is a waythat I'm kind of advocating
because, you know, it's like aweakness sometimes people think
(40:16):
being vulnerable.
But I think it's a strength.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (40:18):
I love it.
I love And for a mama who'slike, you know, she either had a
very traumatic birth experienceor having, uh, complications in
pregnancy, what would you tellher?
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-20 (40:32):
You're not alone.
You're not alone.
There's probably someone you canrelate to.
And honestly, I feel like that'swhat Werk Mija.
Like I said, relatable messages,brand.
I think the work may have brand,and my personal brand has always
been relatability.
(40:53):
How can we relate?
Because I think when you canrelate, connect, that is just so
powerful.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (41:00):
I love how you tied that all
together because I, I think thatis so powerful.
Oh my gosh, yes.
and I know that, we have beentaught to not.
Share our stories.
Right.
Especially as,
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (41:16):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (41:16):
and all of the, those sayings.
Right.
And I think that, again, if, ifwe just want to heal from these
lived experiences, it'sdefinitely important to relate
to another person to share.
And because you never know, likeyou said, you're, you're not
alone.
And I love it.
And so I have one last questionfor you that I did not prepare
(41:37):
you because it's my, lastquestion that I ask my guests
here, how are you redefiningMadre
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025_1 (41:44):
Oh fuck.
I feel like the whole word, thishas been a big word within this
whole conversation, just beingvery intentional, leading with
intention, not doing things.
Not because they're supposed tobe that way, but like leading
with what feels right for youand your family.
(42:07):
You know, I.
Uh, there's a lot of oldergenerations of moms who did
things a certain way.
And I think especially with mygeneration of moms and younger
you know, there's just so muchmore research and studies and
just so much more information.
You know, we're kind of learningthat the ways things are done,
probably not the safest,probably not the best, and I
(42:29):
know a lot of old schoolgrandmas and stuff will push
that, you know, and make youfeel like this is how you're
supposed to do, but like.
Do what feels best for you andfor your children and your
family, and just be intentionalabout whatever your decisions
are.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (42:46):
And that itself is empowering to do
that.
Like that's when you.
You know, just kind of goingback to my coaster, like, no
miha like you, you just work it,right?
Like you lead with intention.
And I think that can also bereflected in the way that we
mother, right?
In the way that we wanna raiseour, our children.
And I think there's definitely alot of conversation about like,
(43:07):
mujeres being a force.
You know, we are jefas and allof this, then as soon as we
become moms, it's like, oh.
We're gonna retract that, andit's like, no,
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (43:17):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_1928 (43:17):
still do this.
And I love that you mentionedhow, like you are still being
intentional about, you know, theway that you wanna raise your
kid, because I think
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (43:27):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (43:28):
So kudos to you and, and kudos to,
the work that you're doing atWerk Mija, so Xochitl, where can
people follow you and buy yourproducts?
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2025 (43:36):
Yes, for sure.
So anyone you can shop online atwerkmija.com.
That's WERKmija.com.
And you can also follow us onsocial media, uh, wherever you.
Like to hang out at Instagram,Facebook, TikTok@werkmija, WERK.
And if not, if you're in theChicagoland area, you can also
(43:57):
shop a bunch of our products atMestiza Shop in Pilsen and or we
are now located in Yo Soy VelaCandles here in Garfield Ridge.
But like I said, since 2024,we've been growing our
wholesale.
So we're in a lot of shops inlike Texas, California.
You Go to our website.
You can see where you can findWerk Mija.
jessica_1_06-0 (44:15):
Congratulations, Xochitl, and thank you so much
for sharing your story.
It's so important, just to.
let women break the silence,right?
So that that way we cannormalize this conversation, we
can normalize that every birthstory is unique.
It could be a little differentthan you would think it is, but
I think that it's a matter ofjust being in full support with,
(44:38):
with the mamas and.
And to also recognize that theirbirth
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-2 (44:42):
Mm-hmm.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_192838 (44:42):
as well.
So thank you so much
xochitl--her-_1_06-03-202 (44:45):
break the silence.
Break the cycles.
jessica_1_06-03-2025_19283 (44:47):
Yes.
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