January 23, 2025 • 19 mins
In this episode of Walk & Talk, we' re diving into the art of being uncomfortable- whether it's sitting with solitude, stepping outside our comfort zones or trying something new for the first time. Growth doesn't happen in safe spaces and I'm here to share my thoughts on embracing those uneasy moments. No scripts, no editing, just real talk- let's heal together day by day.
New episodes every Monday! 🎙️✨
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So, I am in my room today.
(00:05):
I decided to just stay home and appreciate solitude.
And that's what this episode is going to be about.
Solitude.
Because it is new to me.
It is trying things out.
It is scary.
(00:25):
It is exciting.
There's a lot of things.
I want to start by saying I hope you're having a good day today.
I hope that if you're not that you find some peace today.
I hope that you're able to listen to this and just, I don't know, feel something positive.
(00:52):
A good distraction.
I started watching the new season of Squid Games finally.
I haven't been able really to catch up on my shows or anything.
I've been busy with work and life and people and just starting the new year.
But I think the most recent thing that I've been learning is solitude.
(01:20):
And I feel like a lot of people have different definitions of solitude.
For me, it's just, well, self-discovery, self-journey, self-improvement.
But specifically, change and growth.
I have been, the last month, the most uncomfortable that I've been in a long time.
(01:48):
I feel so lonely.
My phone is so dry.
I'm not texting anybody.
Nobody's texting me.
I have no calls.
I'm not really hanging out with anybody.
I see my family once in a while.
(02:09):
I have my cats and they keep me company.
But even then, I've just always been the girl that needs to be talking to someone.
Always.
And maybe that's just my anxiety, but it's always been, I'm either on call with one of
(02:30):
my girlfriends or boyfriends or seeing my family or going out to hang out with new people.
I just feel like I'm always having to have a distraction.
And I was listening to a podcast by Emma Chamberlain recently and she's talking about how she has
(02:51):
found so much peace and just being outside, no headphones, nothing, just in quiet.
And I was like, that sounds a little crazy.
I don't know if I could do that.
That's a little too much.
Like you're telling me I have to sit with my thoughts and overthink my entire life?
No, thank you.
(03:12):
I'm good.
And over the last few weeks, I was like, okay, maybe I just need to accept that this is what
I'm meant to do right now.
I am meant to just actually be alone.
And I'm not saying that I'm not purposely ignoring my friends or family and what so I
(03:40):
know I have people in my life, but I feel like I just needed these moments of quiet
because my life was trying to tell me something.
My body was physically telling me, hey, you feel anxious and uncomfortable because you've
never been in this position because you've never dealt with this because you've never
(04:03):
decided to step out of your comfort zone and your bubble.
And I've been taking it day by day.
And I will say some days are great.
Like today, I went on a walk today.
I took public transport, which I usually don't.
I took the bus all the way down.
(04:26):
20 minutes went for a super long walk.
I put my headphones in and then they died.
And I was like, you know what?
Fine.
Peace and quiet is.
I said hello to every single person that walked past me.
And I got to say those small interactions that you have with people, even as simple
(04:46):
as like just a smile or wave or saying good morning or good night.
It's really nice.
It's comforting.
It's like, hey, there's other people.
You have no idea what other people are going through.
They could be in the same boat as you.
They could be even worse.
They could be even better.
Whatever it is, I was glad that I was able to put a smile on my face and say hello to
(05:07):
them because you don't know how that impacted them either.
Maybe they just wanted someone friendly.
Maybe they just needed to get out, too.
And that's what I needed.
And so I walked for hours in the freezing cold.
And eventually I just kind of sat down with my thoughts.
I was feeling really anxious.
And the kind of anxious that like you feel the physical pain on your heart.
(05:32):
If you dealt with a recent breakup, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
You wake up in the morning and you feel so vulnerable and overwhelmed and your heart
just like aches.
It's such a horrible feeling.
Like it feels super tight in your chest.
I feel like I can't breathe.
(05:54):
I feel like I just need a hug or I just I just want the pain to go away.
It physically hurts me.
And if you're dealing with that, I'm sorry because I know how hard it is.
And it doesn't just go with breakups.
It goes with losing friends, family.
(06:15):
If you're dealing with something hard in your life, but take it as an opportunity to accept
change.
Take it as an opportunity to understand what is this trying to tell me?
I was listening to so many podcasts and chat tbt and my therapist and friends and advice
and anything at this point scrolling endlessly on TikTok looking up advice.
(06:40):
And I realized that the key to honestly dealing with that anxiety and that discomfort is kind
of to just accept it.
And I know that sounds like such basic bare minimum responses.
But if you truly just sit with your thoughts, even though it's terrifying and you talk to
(07:04):
yourself like pretend you're your own therapist, pretend you're your best friend, ask your
inner child.
What do I need today?
Why am I feeling this way?
What can I do to help?
A lot of the times it's a much more deep rooted issue.
And if you're ready to dive in and truly take those steps to learn about yourself and why
(07:28):
it triggers you, by all means go for it.
If you're not and you're terrified, that's okay too.
But for me, it's been just accepting that the anxiety is there, that I'm uncomfortable,
but that it's temporary.
Even though it doesn't feel that way.
(07:49):
Even though I've had everybody in my life telling me the same thing and I have dealt
with breakups before and everyone said, hey, you'll be fine a few months and you'll get
the posts glow up and everything's going to be okay.
But it just, it doesn't feel okay.
You can tell me that and I appreciate it and I love it and I know that it's partially true.
(08:11):
But in the moment, that is the last thing I want to hear.
Let me be sad.
Let me just go through this.
Let me deal with this pain right now.
Don't ask me if I'm okay.
Just be there to support me through this.
And that's what I've been dealing with.
I have been sitting uncomfortably in the library reading a book, knowing absolutely
(08:35):
nobody overthinking what are people thinking of me right now.
I probably look crazy.
I can't even concentrate on the book I'm reading because I'm being so self-conscious.
A million different things.
And like I was saying, I went on that walk today.
(08:55):
I had no plan today.
I was just kind of letting God take the lead on me.
I didn't know any bus times and then my phone died as well.
I was like, okay, no music, no phone, just me and my thoughts walking in the freezing
rain.
This sounds probably the most uncomfortable I could possibly get.
(09:21):
And so I did.
I walked my 10,000 steps without even realizing.
I walked and looked at people and I just want to say whether, I don't know if anyone can
relate to this, but if you're ever walking and you make eye contact with the person that's
walking towards you, it's such an awkward period of time between the moment that you
(09:46):
see them versus when you're going to walk past them.
It's like, do you just stare at them the whole time as you're approaching them until you
give them a smile?
Do you say hi?
Most people I feel like will go on their phones or they'll look away or in my case, I definitely
look down a bit because I'm not just going to stare at them eye contact for the next
(10:07):
10 steps until I pass you.
But yeah, if you can relate to that, I would love to hear in the comments because it was
giving like a happy birthday moment.
Like what am I supposed to do?
I know that they're singing it.
Like, you know that someone's staring at you, but you don't want to make them uncomfortable.
(10:29):
So the social awkwardness is definitely there, but it's fine.
And so I walked past everybody.
I said hello and eventually I was like, okay, I'm tired.
I'm freezing.
I want to go home.
But I was hungry and I walked around a few cafes and all of them were busy except for
(10:54):
this one cafe.
This one cafe was no clients, maybe one or two people, very quiet.
And I was like, this is the place.
And so I walked in, they were, I guess, a new coffee shop and I love giving like new
places a try.
Like I am such a big foodie.
(11:16):
So I want to know the good food spots.
And so I walked in, I ordered my cup of water.
I ordered a crepe and it was actually really good.
And the owners were very sweet.
I ended up talking to them for a bit.
They had just moved here from England and they were super nervous.
(11:39):
They didn't know how to attract people.
And I got to say, I feel like people watching me go in definitely attracted people because
as soon as I walked in and I guess people realized that, hey, there is other coffee
shops.
So many people started walking in and I'm not saying it was because of me, but I'm just
(12:01):
saying the energy was there.
And here I was sitting alone on a table before with no phone or anything, just me, my water
and my crepe.
I wonder if I'm saying that right.
Crepe, crepe.
You know what I mean, hopefully.
(12:24):
And I'm just staring out the window.
People start sitting around me.
There's families, there's a couple across from me and I am being stared down.
It's like, it's so weird for people to see someone just sitting alone.
It's like they were waiting to see if someone was going to come sit with me or maybe the
(12:46):
person that I was with was in the washroom or I got stood up.
I have no idea what they were thinking, but in that moment I really didn't care.
I kind of just surrounded myself in my own bubble and I was just appreciating food and
just vibing and I had such a good meal.
(13:06):
I said thank you to the owners and I smiled at everybody.
I was like, you know what?
I don't care what they think.
You know why?
I'm probably never going to see them again.
And it really doesn't matter.
It just makes you realize how short life is.
And so I went back and I had no idea what time the bus was going to come and whatever
(13:33):
and by some miracle the bus was waiting right there for me and I got on and I went and I
came home.
And yeah, it was all in the matter of like three hours and I ended up calling a friend
and she was like, oh, like what are you doing?
And I was like, oh, I went for a walk.
(13:55):
She's like alone.
I was like, yeah.
She's like, you must have been really bored.
And I was like, you know what?
I really wasn't.
Like I just, I wanted to do something on my own and I did and it was so nice.
And I did that the other day too.
I went for a walk.
I connected with nature.
I said hello to people.
(14:17):
And even the time I went to the library, I went and sat there and read my book.
I'm not going in with any, oh my gosh, why are they so loud?
I'm sorry, but people who drive really loud trucks.
Is there really a need for it to be louder?
(14:38):
I just want to point that out, but my point being is I felt really comfortable being uncomfortable
and I didn't know that was a thing.
And even when I got home and started binging my show, even before I binged my show, I kind
of just sat and read for a little bit, hung out with my kitties and just sat with my thoughts
(15:04):
really.
And I was just chilling and writing, but I've had myself a goal to just try not be on my
phone too much because I unfortunately have a really bad case of doom scrolling on TikTok
and I will say I will only go on it for a little bit and end up going on there for like
(15:26):
three hours and just contemplating people's lives and oh, I could be doing that.
And while meanwhile I'm sitting in bed.
And so I did that and here I am ranting to you just being honest and telling you about
(15:47):
my day and letting you know that if you get a chance tomorrow or today, if you're just
starting the day, do something that makes you uncomfortable.
Go and turn your phone off just for the day.
(16:08):
I challenge that for you.
I want you to go say hello to a stranger, not in a creepy way, not in an approachable
way, just if you're walking past someone, give them a smile.
Say good morning, say good evening, whatever time it is, but be kind because a lot of people
(16:31):
don't realize what we're all going through and we could all be on the same boat, but
at the end of the day, we're all human and we need to accept that and we need to accept
that being in our own head and our own thoughts and to just stop worrying about what other
people are thinking.
Who cares if you're walking alone?
(16:52):
Like genuinely, who cares?
You're the only one that's caring.
You are the only one that's thinking that other people are thinking something about
you.
We start overthinking and getting in our head about these things when if we can just
start to train our mindset to not, you're going to realize such big and drastic changes.
(17:15):
You're going to start feeling uncomfortable and the only way to be uncomfortable is to
get out of that little bubble of being comfortable.
Keep in mind our bubble of what is comfortable, if it's like me and you're like me, where
I'm so used to being in relationships or talking to somebody, that is what I was comfortable
(17:40):
with because at some point in my life, whether it was my childhood trauma or something went
wrong growing up, whatever it is, I was uncomfortable talking to people at some point.
So I had to be uncomfortable in order to gain new comfort and it's the same thing with experiences.
(18:02):
You need to try something new or you won't know if you like it.
And if it's not for you, then at least you can be proud that you did something new.
And if it is for you, then that's awesome.
I'm so proud of you.
I signed up for yoga classes starting this week.
I have never done yoga.
(18:25):
I have no idea who's going to be there, what it's about, age groups, where it is.
I know nothing.
I went and bought myself a yoga mat.
I have the address and I'm just going to show up and see how that goes.
And I will let you guys know about that journey when the time comes.
(18:51):
But for today, learn to be kind to yourself and to others.
I think that is so important.
Learn to accept change and be open to it.
And most importantly, learn to just be uncomfortable and find your new comfort.
So, I am in my room today.
(00:05):
I decided to just stay home and appreciate solitude.
And that's what this episode is going to be about.
Solitude.
Because it is new to me.
It is trying things out.
It is scary.
(00:25):
It is exciting.
There's a lot of things.
I want to start by saying I hope you're having a good day today.
I hope that if you're not that you find some peace today.
I hope that you're able to listen to this and just, I don't know, feel something positive.
(00:52):
A good distraction.
I started watching the new season of Squid Games finally.
I haven't been able really to catch up on my shows or anything.
I've been busy with work and life and people and just starting the new year.
But I think the most recent thing that I've been learning is solitude.
(01:20):
And I feel like a lot of people have different definitions of solitude.
For me, it's just, well, self-discovery, self-journey, self-improvement.
But specifically, change and growth.
I have been, the last month, the most uncomfortable that I've been in a long time.
(01:48):
I feel so lonely.
My phone is so dry.
I'm not texting anybody.
Nobody's texting me.
I have no calls.
I'm not really hanging out with anybody.
I see my family once in a while.
(02:09):
I have my cats and they keep me company.
But even then, I've just always been the girl that needs to be talking to someone.
Always.
And maybe that's just my anxiety, but it's always been, I'm either on call with one of
(02:30):
my girlfriends or boyfriends or seeing my family or going out to hang out with new people.
I just feel like I'm always having to have a distraction.
And I was listening to a podcast by Emma Chamberlain recently and she's talking about how she has
(02:51):
found so much peace and just being outside, no headphones, nothing, just in quiet.
And I was like, that sounds a little crazy.
I don't know if I could do that.
That's a little too much.
Like you're telling me I have to sit with my thoughts and overthink my entire life?
No, thank you.
(03:12):
I'm good.
And over the last few weeks, I was like, okay, maybe I just need to accept that this is what
I'm meant to do right now.
I am meant to just actually be alone.
And I'm not saying that I'm not purposely ignoring my friends or family and what so I
(03:40):
know I have people in my life, but I feel like I just needed these moments of quiet
because my life was trying to tell me something.
My body was physically telling me, hey, you feel anxious and uncomfortable because you've
never been in this position because you've never dealt with this because you've never
(04:03):
decided to step out of your comfort zone and your bubble.
And I've been taking it day by day.
And I will say some days are great.
Like today, I went on a walk today.
I took public transport, which I usually don't.
I took the bus all the way down.
(04:26):
20 minutes went for a super long walk.
I put my headphones in and then they died.
And I was like, you know what?
Fine.
Peace and quiet is.
I said hello to every single person that walked past me.
And I got to say those small interactions that you have with people, even as simple
(04:46):
as like just a smile or wave or saying good morning or good night.
It's really nice.
It's comforting.
It's like, hey, there's other people.
You have no idea what other people are going through.
They could be in the same boat as you.
They could be even worse.
They could be even better.
Whatever it is, I was glad that I was able to put a smile on my face and say hello to
(05:07):
them because you don't know how that impacted them either.
Maybe they just wanted someone friendly.
Maybe they just needed to get out, too.
And that's what I needed.
And so I walked for hours in the freezing cold.
And eventually I just kind of sat down with my thoughts.
I was feeling really anxious.
And the kind of anxious that like you feel the physical pain on your heart.
(05:32):
If you dealt with a recent breakup, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
You wake up in the morning and you feel so vulnerable and overwhelmed and your heart
just like aches.
It's such a horrible feeling.
Like it feels super tight in your chest.
I feel like I can't breathe.
(05:54):
I feel like I just need a hug or I just I just want the pain to go away.
It physically hurts me.
And if you're dealing with that, I'm sorry because I know how hard it is.
And it doesn't just go with breakups.
It goes with losing friends, family.
(06:15):
If you're dealing with something hard in your life, but take it as an opportunity to accept
change.
Take it as an opportunity to understand what is this trying to tell me?
I was listening to so many podcasts and chat tbt and my therapist and friends and advice
and anything at this point scrolling endlessly on TikTok looking up advice.
(06:40):
And I realized that the key to honestly dealing with that anxiety and that discomfort is kind
of to just accept it.
And I know that sounds like such basic bare minimum responses.
But if you truly just sit with your thoughts, even though it's terrifying and you talk to
(07:04):
yourself like pretend you're your own therapist, pretend you're your best friend, ask your
inner child.
What do I need today?
Why am I feeling this way?
What can I do to help?
A lot of the times it's a much more deep rooted issue.
And if you're ready to dive in and truly take those steps to learn about yourself and why
(07:28):
it triggers you, by all means go for it.
If you're not and you're terrified, that's okay too.
But for me, it's been just accepting that the anxiety is there, that I'm uncomfortable,
but that it's temporary.
Even though it doesn't feel that way.
(07:49):
Even though I've had everybody in my life telling me the same thing and I have dealt
with breakups before and everyone said, hey, you'll be fine a few months and you'll get
the posts glow up and everything's going to be okay.
But it just, it doesn't feel okay.
You can tell me that and I appreciate it and I love it and I know that it's partially true.
(08:11):
But in the moment, that is the last thing I want to hear.
Let me be sad.
Let me just go through this.
Let me deal with this pain right now.
Don't ask me if I'm okay.
Just be there to support me through this.
And that's what I've been dealing with.
I have been sitting uncomfortably in the library reading a book, knowing absolutely
(08:35):
nobody overthinking what are people thinking of me right now.
I probably look crazy.
I can't even concentrate on the book I'm reading because I'm being so self-conscious.
A million different things.
And like I was saying, I went on that walk today.
(08:55):
I had no plan today.
I was just kind of letting God take the lead on me.
I didn't know any bus times and then my phone died as well.
I was like, okay, no music, no phone, just me and my thoughts walking in the freezing
rain.
This sounds probably the most uncomfortable I could possibly get.
(09:21):
And so I did.
I walked my 10,000 steps without even realizing.
I walked and looked at people and I just want to say whether, I don't know if anyone can
relate to this, but if you're ever walking and you make eye contact with the person that's
walking towards you, it's such an awkward period of time between the moment that you
(09:46):
see them versus when you're going to walk past them.
It's like, do you just stare at them the whole time as you're approaching them until you
give them a smile?
Do you say hi?
Most people I feel like will go on their phones or they'll look away or in my case, I definitely
look down a bit because I'm not just going to stare at them eye contact for the next
(10:07):
10 steps until I pass you.
But yeah, if you can relate to that, I would love to hear in the comments because it was
giving like a happy birthday moment.
Like what am I supposed to do?
I know that they're singing it.
Like, you know that someone's staring at you, but you don't want to make them uncomfortable.
(10:29):
So the social awkwardness is definitely there, but it's fine.
And so I walked past everybody.
I said hello and eventually I was like, okay, I'm tired.
I'm freezing.
I want to go home.
But I was hungry and I walked around a few cafes and all of them were busy except for
(10:54):
this one cafe.
This one cafe was no clients, maybe one or two people, very quiet.
And I was like, this is the place.
And so I walked in, they were, I guess, a new coffee shop and I love giving like new
places a try.
Like I am such a big foodie.
(11:16):
So I want to know the good food spots.
And so I walked in, I ordered my cup of water.
I ordered a crepe and it was actually really good.
And the owners were very sweet.
I ended up talking to them for a bit.
They had just moved here from England and they were super nervous.
(11:39):
They didn't know how to attract people.
And I got to say, I feel like people watching me go in definitely attracted people because
as soon as I walked in and I guess people realized that, hey, there is other coffee
shops.
So many people started walking in and I'm not saying it was because of me, but I'm just
(12:01):
saying the energy was there.
And here I was sitting alone on a table before with no phone or anything, just me, my water
and my crepe.
I wonder if I'm saying that right.
Crepe, crepe.
You know what I mean, hopefully.
(12:24):
And I'm just staring out the window.
People start sitting around me.
There's families, there's a couple across from me and I am being stared down.
It's like, it's so weird for people to see someone just sitting alone.
It's like they were waiting to see if someone was going to come sit with me or maybe the
(12:46):
person that I was with was in the washroom or I got stood up.
I have no idea what they were thinking, but in that moment I really didn't care.
I kind of just surrounded myself in my own bubble and I was just appreciating food and
just vibing and I had such a good meal.
(13:06):
I said thank you to the owners and I smiled at everybody.
I was like, you know what?
I don't care what they think.
You know why?
I'm probably never going to see them again.
And it really doesn't matter.
It just makes you realize how short life is.
And so I went back and I had no idea what time the bus was going to come and whatever
(13:33):
and by some miracle the bus was waiting right there for me and I got on and I went and I
came home.
And yeah, it was all in the matter of like three hours and I ended up calling a friend
and she was like, oh, like what are you doing?
And I was like, oh, I went for a walk.
(13:55):
She's like alone.
I was like, yeah.
She's like, you must have been really bored.
And I was like, you know what?
I really wasn't.
Like I just, I wanted to do something on my own and I did and it was so nice.
And I did that the other day too.
I went for a walk.
I connected with nature.
I said hello to people.
(14:17):
And even the time I went to the library, I went and sat there and read my book.
I'm not going in with any, oh my gosh, why are they so loud?
I'm sorry, but people who drive really loud trucks.
Is there really a need for it to be louder?
(14:38):
I just want to point that out, but my point being is I felt really comfortable being uncomfortable
and I didn't know that was a thing.
And even when I got home and started binging my show, even before I binged my show, I kind
of just sat and read for a little bit, hung out with my kitties and just sat with my thoughts
(15:04):
really.
And I was just chilling and writing, but I've had myself a goal to just try not be on my
phone too much because I unfortunately have a really bad case of doom scrolling on TikTok
and I will say I will only go on it for a little bit and end up going on there for like
(15:26):
three hours and just contemplating people's lives and oh, I could be doing that.
And while meanwhile I'm sitting in bed.
And so I did that and here I am ranting to you just being honest and telling you about
(15:47):
my day and letting you know that if you get a chance tomorrow or today, if you're just
starting the day, do something that makes you uncomfortable.
Go and turn your phone off just for the day.
(16:08):
I challenge that for you.
I want you to go say hello to a stranger, not in a creepy way, not in an approachable
way, just if you're walking past someone, give them a smile.
Say good morning, say good evening, whatever time it is, but be kind because a lot of people
(16:31):
don't realize what we're all going through and we could all be on the same boat, but
at the end of the day, we're all human and we need to accept that and we need to accept
that being in our own head and our own thoughts and to just stop worrying about what other
people are thinking.
Who cares if you're walking alone?
(16:52):
Like genuinely, who cares?
You're the only one that's caring.
You are the only one that's thinking that other people are thinking something about
you.
We start overthinking and getting in our head about these things when if we can just
start to train our mindset to not, you're going to realize such big and drastic changes.
(17:15):
You're going to start feeling uncomfortable and the only way to be uncomfortable is to
get out of that little bubble of being comfortable.
Keep in mind our bubble of what is comfortable, if it's like me and you're like me, where
I'm so used to being in relationships or talking to somebody, that is what I was comfortable
(17:40):
with because at some point in my life, whether it was my childhood trauma or something went
wrong growing up, whatever it is, I was uncomfortable talking to people at some point.
So I had to be uncomfortable in order to gain new comfort and it's the same thing with experiences.
(18:02):
You need to try something new or you won't know if you like it.
And if it's not for you, then at least you can be proud that you did something new.
And if it is for you, then that's awesome.
I'm so proud of you.
I signed up for yoga classes starting this week.
I have never done yoga.
(18:25):
I have no idea who's going to be there, what it's about, age groups, where it is.
I know nothing.
I went and bought myself a yoga mat.
I have the address and I'm just going to show up and see how that goes.
And I will let you guys know about that journey when the time comes.
(18:51):
But for today, learn to be kind to yourself and to others.
I think that is so important.
Learn to accept change and be open to it.
And most importantly, learn to just be uncomfortable and find your new comfort.
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