January 27, 2025 • 23 mins
In this episode of Walk & Talk, we’re diving into the topic of anxiety—what it feels like, how it sneaks up on us, and how it often comes hand-in-hand with heartbreak and major life changes. I’ll share my personal experiences with dealing with anxiety, especially during times of heartbreak, and talk about how it can make us feel disconnected from ourselves. If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety or felt lost in your emotions, this episode is for you. No scripts, no editing, just you and me healing together day by day.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hello beautiful people! Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Whatever time it
(00:05):
is, I hope you have or had an amazing day. My name is Lorena and welcome back
to another episode of Walk and Talk and if you're new here, thank you for joining
me today. It is currently 1130 at night right now. I have work tomorrow morning
but I cannot sleep. I was honestly just like relaxing and started feeling this
(00:32):
anxiety creep up on me and I was like I need to talk about this because I know
that there's going to be someone out there that is going to relate to this.
Whether it's tied to heartbreak or just that sneaky feeling that starts creeping
out of nowhere, anxiety is something that most of us face at some point in our
(00:58):
lives and if you haven't, I am so happy for you and I'm knocking on wood that it
stays that same way but at least in my generation, I'm glad that it's more
talked about and it's a little more common. So let's talk about it. Let's dive
into it. What it feels like, how can it affect us, but most importantly, how we're
(01:22):
living with it. What are we doing with it, right? Because sometimes I feel like with
anxiety, it's such a big topic. I know a lot about it because I have it but there
are so many different shapes and forms and ways and for every person, I think
(01:43):
it's different because it's such a tricky thing to navigate as it can stem from
so many places. Like I said, heartbreak, big life changes or completely out of
the blue, you could be sitting like me here, everything's fine and then boom
anxiety is like hello, what's up, let's hang out. I don't want to hang out. I
(02:08):
don't want to but it's so overwhelming and I think we've all kind of just
accepted that it's there and I've learned to live with it but I'm getting
too into it right now. So first things first, I want to talk about what anxiety
really is. I mean we all kind of know the textbook definition, it's the body's
(02:34):
response to stress, blah blah blah but what does it actually feel like? Because
for me, it comes in so many different shapes and forms. Sometimes it's tightness
around my chest, sometimes I feel like I can't breathe, sometimes my heart hurts,
sometimes I have no energy, I'm nervous, I'm uncomfortable, I feel like I can't
(02:57):
think, I feel like my own thoughts are closing on me and I'm just kind of like
not mentally there and I'm having this like derealization moment as well and I
do have another episode about what derealization is so if you're not sure
you can go listen to that but mentally anxiety is exhausting. Like one of the
(03:20):
hardest parts of anxiety is just how sneaky it is because it truly, I feel
like it just doesn't wait for you to invite it in. It's just like, hey I'm here,
I'm just gonna hang around here and you know you literally could be scrolling on
Instagram or you're just having like all these thoughts comparing your life to
(03:43):
other people on TikTok and who has more followers and who has more likes and oh
this person's out here traveling and oh why wasn't I invited to this and just
there's so many different routes it can go. You could even just be at a grocery
store and then out of nowhere you're questioning your entire life. You're like
what exactly is this ingredient? Wait why am I buying this? What am I even cooking
(04:08):
tonight? Is this even worth cooking? Am I gonna be fat because of this? Am I
eating enough? What if my partner likes this? What if they don't? The one TikTok
I saw maybe I should create that meal but I don't have the ingredients for that
meal. It goes on and on and on. Like it doesn't care if the moment is big or
(04:28):
small. Anxiety can sometimes just be there and I think it's what's most
frustrating is how anxiety can make you feel disconnected from who you really
are because you are still you but then you get this overwhelming sense of
(04:49):
panic that just kind of takes the center stage. I don't know if you guys have
watched the movie Inside Out from Disney and then Inside Out 2 had a new
character. I'm talking about this very late since it's been released so there's
not really a spoiler here but the new character was one of the main ones was
(05:11):
anxiety and that's genuinely they did such a good job on that movie
representing what anxiety looks like for people in my opinion. Like the way
sometimes it just takes control over your brain and you just get stuck in the
zone and you can't sometimes get out of it which can sometimes lead to you know
(05:34):
panic attacks and anxiety and it's scary. I feel like I want to give a little bit
of backstory. When I was 15 I started dealing with anxiety. I didn't know what
it was. It wasn't really talked about. I don't know. I just I knew I would be
uncomfortable in certain situations. Well I can't talk. I knew I was
(05:58):
uncomfortable in certain situations. I knew that I didn't want to be somewhere
something or someone made me feel nervous but I didn't know what it was. I
never thought anything of it and I even would go to therapy like I never was
necessarily diagnosed with it until a few years later and like I said there's
(06:24):
so many different kinds of anxiety too and how people deal with it so it was a
whole new world for me and I started looking into it over the years and it
got to a point where I was just really anxious and depressed. I dropped out of
school like high school. I was staying home all day. I had no friends. I wasn't
(06:46):
really on the best terms with my family. I would... I was this little emo 17 year old
kid hiding in my room just hanging out with my cat and thinking that life sucked
and was depressing and I didn't want to be anyone. I didn't want to do anything. I
(07:06):
was very lost and that's I feel like a whole other podcast but I didn't feel
like myself. I felt like I was anxiety as a whole like that was my whole
personality and as I started to read more about it and talk to people about
(07:27):
it I realized I wasn't alone. I realized that a lot of people were actually
dealing with these things too. I realized that that feeling of like being
disconnected was actually normal and everybody goes through it at a different
stage in life. Some people in my case was when I was a lot younger. Other people
(07:48):
when they're a little older and you start to just get this idea that this is
how you see yourself so this is how other people see me too when that's not
the case. You need to understand anxiety and you are completely different and I
really want to emphasize that. These are two separate entities and two
(08:12):
different things. Your anxiety and your pain and your nervousness and your
overthinking does not define who you are or what you do. It's something that you
can learn to control it. It's something that you can learn to accept and
acknowledge that it's there and whether you want to work on it it's gonna take
(08:37):
time and you need to be patient with it but it is manageable. It is something
that you can learn to live with and hopefully sometimes it'll go away. So
that's where I'm at now. I am still someone who's learning how to manage it
and when it comes up I'm trying to understand like okay why am I feeling
(09:00):
this way? Is there something specific that triggered it or is it just kind of
out of the blue? And then I go from there. But let's shift a little bit and talk
about how anxiety plays into heartbreak because this one hits close to home. For
me, dealing with a breakup is already hard enough. It's sad, it's painful, you're
(09:24):
losing someone, you're losing something. It's a lot of emotions but the anxiety
that comes with it that's a whole other level. Waking up with that anxiety
feeling like my heart is literally broken and like I can't deal with it and
just going throughout the day feeling like I am going to cry at any second of
(09:49):
the day if anybody talks to me or says that they're sorry for me or that they
hope I'm okay I am super sensitive like any little thing will trigger me and for
people it ranges right? Like when it comes to heartbreak I like to call it
heartbreak anxiety the way some people call anxiety when they're hungover but I
(10:10):
call it heartbreak anxiety when it's like you're dealing not only with the
pain that comes from losing someone but the anxiety that comes with it because
you feel lost. You don't know what you're doing. You start spiraling, you start
overthinking okay did I make the right decision? Should I have waited a few more
weeks? Should I have stayed? Should I had a go? Maybe let's think about that one
(10:32):
fight I had with this person six months ago like things that honestly don't
really or shouldn't matter in that moment just start coming up like your
whole relationship that you just lived through is going to come up and it's a
lot to deal with and it is not easy especially like the late-night thoughts
(10:52):
like I would have days where I would feel perfectly fine yes I had a bit of
anxiety in the mornings I would go for a walk I would do my workouts I would get
myself out there talk to friends whatever I could but it was when I was
alone back in my room at night overthinking spiraling thinking about a
(11:14):
million different situations it's those late night thoughts does it go to five
I wasn't enough or will someone ever love me again? Did I do something wrong?
Just reliving every moment questioning everything so differently you start
obsessing over you know if they've moved on should I move on is this too quick
(11:34):
that is that cycle and you don't feel peace at all and then there's that
physical side of it where okay now you're feeling the anxiety in your body
like I have had nights where I really couldn't sleep I was just praying to God
like please make this stop please because I felt like I couldn't breathe my
(11:57):
stomach was just in knots my brain was just like not shutting down it wasn't
letting me sleep tossing and turning it's I can't even explain it that is the
best way I can describe it it's it's sad it really is it's it's feeling like
you're lost like you're sinking into your own bed and not in a comfortable
(12:20):
way you feel so alone it's you versus the anxiety but in the moment you feel
like you're one whole like you are anxiety you are all these thoughts and
you start becoming it because you start believing it and it's hard and the one
thing that I've come to realize is that no matter how overwhelming it gets it's
(12:45):
just a phase like heartbreak anxiety isn't permanent it's tied to a temporary
situation a temporary change and as much as it sucks it does start to ease over
time for me in my past there's been breakups that I've dealt with the
(13:06):
anxiety and it's gone away in a few weeks and then there's some that it's
been years and honestly even the thought of that person makes me anxious because
there's still so much trauma or attachment towards them and it's scary
like I just purchased this book from Mel Robbins called let them and I've been
(13:30):
following her for a while and I am so excited to read that and it's kind of
been like my model for for this new year just kind of realizing okay I just need
to let people just be I've I've accepted that like my 20s are gonna be like a
revolving door of people I am leaving the door open whoever wants to come in
(13:54):
that door and see me and talk to me and be in my life can come in and whoever
wants to exit the door is there too like I am not doing anything anymore I'm
focusing on myself how I feel who brings me peace what brings me peace what helps
(14:15):
me it's that feeling of just like you need to start finding yourself again and
I also think it's important to recognize how heartbreak can trigger all
insecurities like which makes the anxiety worse by the way like it's not
just about missing a certain person sometimes you're losing that comfort
(14:39):
zone someone that felt like a safety net at the time someone that you were able
to when you were anxious if you were at the time you were able to run to them
you were able to feel you know at least for me like their physical touch was
enough for me to feel a little more calmer like a hug would help me a lot
for other people it was venting you know or just having someone to hang out
(15:00):
with quality time like all the different kind of love languages those make a big
difference in your life too when you have a partner or when you have that
best friend like it does it creates this safety net this comfort zone that when
you don't have anymore you need to relearn to do all of those on your own
(15:23):
and that's not easy because there's nobody out here telling you you know
what I'm gonna use a great example for me when I transitioned from high school
to college nobody told me how hard it was actually going to be like
(15:43):
transferring from high school to university is such a different like such
a big step like you go from knowing your schedule knowing what classes you have
to go to your teachers are telling you your homework you're there all day you
know walking from one class to another and lunch and breaks and whatever
(16:04):
and then in uni you're on your own kid like you are out here you need to make
sure you get yourself to class no one's gonna come and drop you off at school
and you're not gonna be there for the whole day your classes are all gonna be
at different times in different hours you need to figure out your own books
the teachers are not gonna tell you I mean yeah there'll be an outline and
(16:27):
whatever but like you need to make sure that you are the one getting yourself
there that you're the one getting yourself enrolled and off that wait list
because there's always a wait list you need to make sure that you are taking
the right classes that the credits are transferable that the teachers maybe are
right or maybe wrong that you're taking the right courses that you're in the
right section of the building was it online was it in person did I pay for
(16:52):
the tuition already when is the deadline did I do the homework what was the
homework wait we had a project do like I know that was a lot but that is my best
definition of what anxiety can feel like you go from having this comfort zone
this feeling of stability and safety to just kind of getting thrown into the
(17:17):
unknown now you have to figure things out on your own and you know you need to
learn independence and for some people it's easy and for some it's not and
those fears like those fears love to fuel anxiety like it's about fear of
(17:37):
change and uncertainty when you really realize what is going on and I want to
talk about some random Romans whoa random moments well I really try and
strive on not doing no I don't do any editing at all it's just you and me
(17:57):
here talking so just work with me I'm scrambling through my top Wow here we
go again I am scrambling through my thoughts thank you gosh here's another
thing about anxiety I feel like this is perfect it just doesn't always make
(18:19):
sense sometimes you're in the middle of a day or in the middle of a sentence
like I was and boom out of nowhere it's right there for no reason like I've had
this happen so many times and I still don't always know how to handle it I
could just be at work and something just kind of triggers it or it's just there
(18:41):
and I'm like why now like I'm literally fine I could be out with friends and
it's like I'm fine I I don't need it right now but that's a thing with
anxiety like it doesn't need a reason sometimes it just is there and accepting
it has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn just to acknowledge
(19:03):
that it's there and accept it but one of the biggest game-changers for me was
realizing like I said that anxiety isn't who I am it's something that I'm going
to experience it doesn't define me even though it feels like it in the moment
but that's not who I am it's gonna linger but it's not gonna last forever
(19:28):
and there's people that go on like anxiety meds and all those different
things I don't I am not judging anybody who does but I just personally don't
believe in them I feel like they can help to a certain extent but eventually
you need to kind of just learn to rewire your own brain and your own thoughts so
(19:52):
I do want to talk about that to end this podcast just living with and managing
anxiety because I would love to tell you that I have all the answers to it but
let's be real I'm still figuring it out everybody's figuring it out everybody
(20:13):
has their own way of dealing with things everybody some maybe you might even have
it and you don't know it and that's why it's good that we have some self-awareness
and that people are talking about it now on social media on anywhere honestly
for me what's helped me the most it sounds cliche but movement and journaling
(20:36):
I love writing I find that just putting my thoughts on paper can really help me
just stop them from like spinning endlessly in my mind and just getting
them out even like letters to people that like I will never send I will go
and burn just things like that just to get them out of my brain at least or in
(21:01):
my notes app whatever it is and movement for me recently has been like my
favorite physical activity just helps me break the mental loop of anxiety
feeling it makes me feel better physically and mentally that I'm doing
something so those two things are the biggest ones but if I want to add one
(21:23):
more that I need to do myself and I'm gonna tell you to do is having some
self-compassion please be kind to yourself when you're going through
anxiety I used to beat myself up for anxiety so much I like I would feel so
(21:44):
weak I'd be like oh my god I'm going through all these things I feel so weird
like just get over it no one understands you no one's gonna get it you don't even
get it what are you overthinking you're not good enough like any negative
thought just would come through my mind and I've been able to just manage it now
and be like you know what I'm learning to treat my anxiety like a part of me
(22:08):
that just needs love and some patience not judgment and anxiety is tough like
there's no doubt about it whether it's tied to heartbreak or random moments
you're overthinking your past you're like me and can't sleep life in general
whatever it is it can feel like a lot but please note that you're not alone in
(22:32):
this anxiety does not define you and it doesn't have to control you it is you
versus the anxiety it is never you with it okay and if you ever need anybody to
talk to and you feel alone my chats comments and reviews are always always
(22:54):
open for anybody or anything so thank you for listening to today's episode and
for me ranting on I hope something in here resonated with you or made you feel
less alone and just take it day by day we've got this and have an amazing
amazing day take care
Hello beautiful people! Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Whatever time it
(00:05):
is, I hope you have or had an amazing day. My name is Lorena and welcome back
to another episode of Walk and Talk and if you're new here, thank you for joining
me today. It is currently 1130 at night right now. I have work tomorrow morning
but I cannot sleep. I was honestly just like relaxing and started feeling this
(00:32):
anxiety creep up on me and I was like I need to talk about this because I know
that there's going to be someone out there that is going to relate to this.
Whether it's tied to heartbreak or just that sneaky feeling that starts creeping
out of nowhere, anxiety is something that most of us face at some point in our
(00:58):
lives and if you haven't, I am so happy for you and I'm knocking on wood that it
stays that same way but at least in my generation, I'm glad that it's more
talked about and it's a little more common. So let's talk about it. Let's dive
into it. What it feels like, how can it affect us, but most importantly, how we're
(01:22):
living with it. What are we doing with it, right? Because sometimes I feel like with
anxiety, it's such a big topic. I know a lot about it because I have it but there
are so many different shapes and forms and ways and for every person, I think
(01:43):
it's different because it's such a tricky thing to navigate as it can stem from
so many places. Like I said, heartbreak, big life changes or completely out of
the blue, you could be sitting like me here, everything's fine and then boom
anxiety is like hello, what's up, let's hang out. I don't want to hang out. I
(02:08):
don't want to but it's so overwhelming and I think we've all kind of just
accepted that it's there and I've learned to live with it but I'm getting
too into it right now. So first things first, I want to talk about what anxiety
really is. I mean we all kind of know the textbook definition, it's the body's
(02:34):
response to stress, blah blah blah but what does it actually feel like? Because
for me, it comes in so many different shapes and forms. Sometimes it's tightness
around my chest, sometimes I feel like I can't breathe, sometimes my heart hurts,
sometimes I have no energy, I'm nervous, I'm uncomfortable, I feel like I can't
(02:57):
think, I feel like my own thoughts are closing on me and I'm just kind of like
not mentally there and I'm having this like derealization moment as well and I
do have another episode about what derealization is so if you're not sure
you can go listen to that but mentally anxiety is exhausting. Like one of the
(03:20):
hardest parts of anxiety is just how sneaky it is because it truly, I feel
like it just doesn't wait for you to invite it in. It's just like, hey I'm here,
I'm just gonna hang around here and you know you literally could be scrolling on
Instagram or you're just having like all these thoughts comparing your life to
(03:43):
other people on TikTok and who has more followers and who has more likes and oh
this person's out here traveling and oh why wasn't I invited to this and just
there's so many different routes it can go. You could even just be at a grocery
store and then out of nowhere you're questioning your entire life. You're like
what exactly is this ingredient? Wait why am I buying this? What am I even cooking
(04:08):
tonight? Is this even worth cooking? Am I gonna be fat because of this? Am I
eating enough? What if my partner likes this? What if they don't? The one TikTok
I saw maybe I should create that meal but I don't have the ingredients for that
meal. It goes on and on and on. Like it doesn't care if the moment is big or
(04:28):
small. Anxiety can sometimes just be there and I think it's what's most
frustrating is how anxiety can make you feel disconnected from who you really
are because you are still you but then you get this overwhelming sense of
(04:49):
panic that just kind of takes the center stage. I don't know if you guys have
watched the movie Inside Out from Disney and then Inside Out 2 had a new
character. I'm talking about this very late since it's been released so there's
not really a spoiler here but the new character was one of the main ones was
(05:11):
anxiety and that's genuinely they did such a good job on that movie
representing what anxiety looks like for people in my opinion. Like the way
sometimes it just takes control over your brain and you just get stuck in the
zone and you can't sometimes get out of it which can sometimes lead to you know
(05:34):
panic attacks and anxiety and it's scary. I feel like I want to give a little bit
of backstory. When I was 15 I started dealing with anxiety. I didn't know what
it was. It wasn't really talked about. I don't know. I just I knew I would be
uncomfortable in certain situations. Well I can't talk. I knew I was
(05:58):
uncomfortable in certain situations. I knew that I didn't want to be somewhere
something or someone made me feel nervous but I didn't know what it was. I
never thought anything of it and I even would go to therapy like I never was
necessarily diagnosed with it until a few years later and like I said there's
(06:24):
so many different kinds of anxiety too and how people deal with it so it was a
whole new world for me and I started looking into it over the years and it
got to a point where I was just really anxious and depressed. I dropped out of
school like high school. I was staying home all day. I had no friends. I wasn't
(06:46):
really on the best terms with my family. I would... I was this little emo 17 year old
kid hiding in my room just hanging out with my cat and thinking that life sucked
and was depressing and I didn't want to be anyone. I didn't want to do anything. I
(07:06):
was very lost and that's I feel like a whole other podcast but I didn't feel
like myself. I felt like I was anxiety as a whole like that was my whole
personality and as I started to read more about it and talk to people about
(07:27):
it I realized I wasn't alone. I realized that a lot of people were actually
dealing with these things too. I realized that that feeling of like being
disconnected was actually normal and everybody goes through it at a different
stage in life. Some people in my case was when I was a lot younger. Other people
(07:48):
when they're a little older and you start to just get this idea that this is
how you see yourself so this is how other people see me too when that's not
the case. You need to understand anxiety and you are completely different and I
really want to emphasize that. These are two separate entities and two
(08:12):
different things. Your anxiety and your pain and your nervousness and your
overthinking does not define who you are or what you do. It's something that you
can learn to control it. It's something that you can learn to accept and
acknowledge that it's there and whether you want to work on it it's gonna take
(08:37):
time and you need to be patient with it but it is manageable. It is something
that you can learn to live with and hopefully sometimes it'll go away. So
that's where I'm at now. I am still someone who's learning how to manage it
and when it comes up I'm trying to understand like okay why am I feeling
(09:00):
this way? Is there something specific that triggered it or is it just kind of
out of the blue? And then I go from there. But let's shift a little bit and talk
about how anxiety plays into heartbreak because this one hits close to home. For
me, dealing with a breakup is already hard enough. It's sad, it's painful, you're
(09:24):
losing someone, you're losing something. It's a lot of emotions but the anxiety
that comes with it that's a whole other level. Waking up with that anxiety
feeling like my heart is literally broken and like I can't deal with it and
just going throughout the day feeling like I am going to cry at any second of
(09:49):
the day if anybody talks to me or says that they're sorry for me or that they
hope I'm okay I am super sensitive like any little thing will trigger me and for
people it ranges right? Like when it comes to heartbreak I like to call it
heartbreak anxiety the way some people call anxiety when they're hungover but I
(10:10):
call it heartbreak anxiety when it's like you're dealing not only with the
pain that comes from losing someone but the anxiety that comes with it because
you feel lost. You don't know what you're doing. You start spiraling, you start
overthinking okay did I make the right decision? Should I have waited a few more
weeks? Should I have stayed? Should I had a go? Maybe let's think about that one
(10:32):
fight I had with this person six months ago like things that honestly don't
really or shouldn't matter in that moment just start coming up like your
whole relationship that you just lived through is going to come up and it's a
lot to deal with and it is not easy especially like the late-night thoughts
(10:52):
like I would have days where I would feel perfectly fine yes I had a bit of
anxiety in the mornings I would go for a walk I would do my workouts I would get
myself out there talk to friends whatever I could but it was when I was
alone back in my room at night overthinking spiraling thinking about a
(11:14):
million different situations it's those late night thoughts does it go to five
I wasn't enough or will someone ever love me again? Did I do something wrong?
Just reliving every moment questioning everything so differently you start
obsessing over you know if they've moved on should I move on is this too quick
(11:34):
that is that cycle and you don't feel peace at all and then there's that
physical side of it where okay now you're feeling the anxiety in your body
like I have had nights where I really couldn't sleep I was just praying to God
like please make this stop please because I felt like I couldn't breathe my
(11:57):
stomach was just in knots my brain was just like not shutting down it wasn't
letting me sleep tossing and turning it's I can't even explain it that is the
best way I can describe it it's it's sad it really is it's it's feeling like
you're lost like you're sinking into your own bed and not in a comfortable
(12:20):
way you feel so alone it's you versus the anxiety but in the moment you feel
like you're one whole like you are anxiety you are all these thoughts and
you start becoming it because you start believing it and it's hard and the one
thing that I've come to realize is that no matter how overwhelming it gets it's
(12:45):
just a phase like heartbreak anxiety isn't permanent it's tied to a temporary
situation a temporary change and as much as it sucks it does start to ease over
time for me in my past there's been breakups that I've dealt with the
(13:06):
anxiety and it's gone away in a few weeks and then there's some that it's
been years and honestly even the thought of that person makes me anxious because
there's still so much trauma or attachment towards them and it's scary
like I just purchased this book from Mel Robbins called let them and I've been
(13:30):
following her for a while and I am so excited to read that and it's kind of
been like my model for for this new year just kind of realizing okay I just need
to let people just be I've I've accepted that like my 20s are gonna be like a
revolving door of people I am leaving the door open whoever wants to come in
(13:54):
that door and see me and talk to me and be in my life can come in and whoever
wants to exit the door is there too like I am not doing anything anymore I'm
focusing on myself how I feel who brings me peace what brings me peace what helps
(14:15):
me it's that feeling of just like you need to start finding yourself again and
I also think it's important to recognize how heartbreak can trigger all
insecurities like which makes the anxiety worse by the way like it's not
just about missing a certain person sometimes you're losing that comfort
(14:39):
zone someone that felt like a safety net at the time someone that you were able
to when you were anxious if you were at the time you were able to run to them
you were able to feel you know at least for me like their physical touch was
enough for me to feel a little more calmer like a hug would help me a lot
for other people it was venting you know or just having someone to hang out
(15:00):
with quality time like all the different kind of love languages those make a big
difference in your life too when you have a partner or when you have that
best friend like it does it creates this safety net this comfort zone that when
you don't have anymore you need to relearn to do all of those on your own
(15:23):
and that's not easy because there's nobody out here telling you you know
what I'm gonna use a great example for me when I transitioned from high school
to college nobody told me how hard it was actually going to be like
(15:43):
transferring from high school to university is such a different like such
a big step like you go from knowing your schedule knowing what classes you have
to go to your teachers are telling you your homework you're there all day you
know walking from one class to another and lunch and breaks and whatever
(16:04):
and then in uni you're on your own kid like you are out here you need to make
sure you get yourself to class no one's gonna come and drop you off at school
and you're not gonna be there for the whole day your classes are all gonna be
at different times in different hours you need to figure out your own books
the teachers are not gonna tell you I mean yeah there'll be an outline and
(16:27):
whatever but like you need to make sure that you are the one getting yourself
there that you're the one getting yourself enrolled and off that wait list
because there's always a wait list you need to make sure that you are taking
the right classes that the credits are transferable that the teachers maybe are
right or maybe wrong that you're taking the right courses that you're in the
right section of the building was it online was it in person did I pay for
(16:52):
the tuition already when is the deadline did I do the homework what was the
homework wait we had a project do like I know that was a lot but that is my best
definition of what anxiety can feel like you go from having this comfort zone
this feeling of stability and safety to just kind of getting thrown into the
(17:17):
unknown now you have to figure things out on your own and you know you need to
learn independence and for some people it's easy and for some it's not and
those fears like those fears love to fuel anxiety like it's about fear of
(17:37):
change and uncertainty when you really realize what is going on and I want to
talk about some random Romans whoa random moments well I really try and
strive on not doing no I don't do any editing at all it's just you and me
(17:57):
here talking so just work with me I'm scrambling through my top Wow here we
go again I am scrambling through my thoughts thank you gosh here's another
thing about anxiety I feel like this is perfect it just doesn't always make
(18:19):
sense sometimes you're in the middle of a day or in the middle of a sentence
like I was and boom out of nowhere it's right there for no reason like I've had
this happen so many times and I still don't always know how to handle it I
could just be at work and something just kind of triggers it or it's just there
(18:41):
and I'm like why now like I'm literally fine I could be out with friends and
it's like I'm fine I I don't need it right now but that's a thing with
anxiety like it doesn't need a reason sometimes it just is there and accepting
it has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn just to acknowledge
(19:03):
that it's there and accept it but one of the biggest game-changers for me was
realizing like I said that anxiety isn't who I am it's something that I'm going
to experience it doesn't define me even though it feels like it in the moment
but that's not who I am it's gonna linger but it's not gonna last forever
(19:28):
and there's people that go on like anxiety meds and all those different
things I don't I am not judging anybody who does but I just personally don't
believe in them I feel like they can help to a certain extent but eventually
you need to kind of just learn to rewire your own brain and your own thoughts so
(19:52):
I do want to talk about that to end this podcast just living with and managing
anxiety because I would love to tell you that I have all the answers to it but
let's be real I'm still figuring it out everybody's figuring it out everybody
(20:13):
has their own way of dealing with things everybody some maybe you might even have
it and you don't know it and that's why it's good that we have some self-awareness
and that people are talking about it now on social media on anywhere honestly
for me what's helped me the most it sounds cliche but movement and journaling
(20:36):
I love writing I find that just putting my thoughts on paper can really help me
just stop them from like spinning endlessly in my mind and just getting
them out even like letters to people that like I will never send I will go
and burn just things like that just to get them out of my brain at least or in
(21:01):
my notes app whatever it is and movement for me recently has been like my
favorite physical activity just helps me break the mental loop of anxiety
feeling it makes me feel better physically and mentally that I'm doing
something so those two things are the biggest ones but if I want to add one
(21:23):
more that I need to do myself and I'm gonna tell you to do is having some
self-compassion please be kind to yourself when you're going through
anxiety I used to beat myself up for anxiety so much I like I would feel so
(21:44):
weak I'd be like oh my god I'm going through all these things I feel so weird
like just get over it no one understands you no one's gonna get it you don't even
get it what are you overthinking you're not good enough like any negative
thought just would come through my mind and I've been able to just manage it now
and be like you know what I'm learning to treat my anxiety like a part of me
(22:08):
that just needs love and some patience not judgment and anxiety is tough like
there's no doubt about it whether it's tied to heartbreak or random moments
you're overthinking your past you're like me and can't sleep life in general
whatever it is it can feel like a lot but please note that you're not alone in
(22:32):
this anxiety does not define you and it doesn't have to control you it is you
versus the anxiety it is never you with it okay and if you ever need anybody to
talk to and you feel alone my chats comments and reviews are always always
(22:54):
open for anybody or anything so thank you for listening to today's episode and
for me ranting on I hope something in here resonated with you or made you feel
less alone and just take it day by day we've got this and have an amazing
amazing day take care
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