February 24, 2025 • 31 mins
In this episode of Walk & Talk, I’m sharing my worst online dating story, complete with cringe-worthy moments and lessons learned. From mismatched profiles to ignoring red flags, this story is a wild ride you won’t want to miss. But it’s not just about the laughs—I’ll dive into why we keep coming back to dating apps, what they teach us about our standards, and how to trust our instincts when it comes to love. Whether you’re in the thick of swiping or have sworn off dating apps for good, this episode is for you. No scripts, no editing, just you and me healing together day by day.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hello beautiful people! Good morning, good afternoon, good night, whatever time it is,
(00:05):
I hope you've had or had an amazing day. My name is Lorena and welcome back to another
episode of Walk and Talk. If you're new here, thank you for joining me today. I usually
just kind of rant on and talk about a certain topic that I feel like in the day and today
I've got a fun one for you guys. We are diving into online dating disasters, specifically
(00:29):
one of my first and worst online dating experiences. And if you've ever gone through the wild
ride of just like swiping left and right and awkward first dates or cringy texts or people
adding you and never talking to you again, then you totally understand where I'm coming
from. I want to share my story because I've shared it a lot with my friends and I thought,
(00:53):
you know what, I think everybody deserves to know this. Obviously I won't be disclosing
any names and I do want to say that this person is a very nice and sweet and genuine person.
But it just makes me laugh thinking back at it and obviously I want to talk about online
dating and just, yeah, let's get into it. So let's start by talking about online dating
(01:18):
like in general because honestly, who even thought of this? Genuinely, like I was taught
when I was little, don't talk to strangers on the internet. Whatever you do, don't. And
then here we are. Maybe I want to say honestly, even before COVID hit, because even before
COVID people were still on dating apps and whoever invented it, I remember being young
(01:43):
and going on a megal with my friends and chatting with random people and we thought it was super
fun and even though it was still obviously not what we were supposed to be doing and
there was that danger for sure, obviously I'm not going to go and share my address information,
but looking back, I'm like, wow, who thought of just like, let's put some pictures and
(02:05):
you get to swipe left and right and throw in a mediocre bio and just hope for the best.
And I don't even want to get into the pictures because have you ever, guys, just like those
people who have their main picture and it's like a bunch of friends and you're just like
hoping that it's that one person in the picture, but then as you swipe, you realize it's the
(02:30):
other one and you're just like, why are you putting your first profile picture as the
one with you and your friends? Like if you're doing that, I'm telling you right now, please
don't because it's like, you're just playing a game of guess who and then the bios are
like, oh, just looking for someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously or then there's
(02:55):
the odd like person that is making a joke and it's like, okay, what does that even mean?
But you know, sometimes we're bored, sometimes we're lonely and we're just hoping for some
entertainment and then some people actually find good people to match with online and
I've been there, I've done all the dating apps, not my style anymore. I would much rather
(03:16):
meet people organically. However, in my time that I did, I want to share this story with
you. So it all starts back a few years ago. I was a lot younger. I started talking to
this guy, I believe, I think it was on Tinder. It could have been one of the other apps.
(03:37):
I'm not sure. And I thought he was really cute. We started talking and obviously the
conversation moved on to Snap and Instagram, whatever. And we talked for a few weeks. He
was very cute and he had a, he had a British accent. So he would always say my name like
Lovrenia. I don't know why that always stuck with me, but that's how, how I represent him
(04:04):
as. So this person just, we, we vibed, we clicked, we would call, we would FaceTime.
He was really funny. He was tall. He was good looking. I was like, okay, like this guy checks
a lot of my boxes. To be fair, I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for, but at that time
and age, I was like, this is perfect for what I need. And his profile matched a lot of how
(04:30):
he was. Like he was very goofy. He was very silly. He was very outgoing. He was a very
honest person. I like someone who could just be themselves. I am the opposite of shy unless
I'm put in a certain environment. I feel like I'm very outgoing and extroverted in a sense
until my social battery is drained. But for the most part, I like people who I can just
(04:55):
have an easy and natural conversation with. And so we talked for a few weeks and we were
both pretty young. Neither of us drove and he lived about 40 minutes from here, from
my house. So after finally talking forever, we decided to meet up and I was scared. Okay.
(05:16):
I had never met somebody online. I, even though I knew that he was real, there was still fear.
Like I don't want to give him my home address. I don't want to, I don't know. So I ended
up inviting one of my girlfriends over and was like, you're going to be here to like
chaperone the date. Like I want you to be here for the date. So it wasn't like a date.
(05:38):
It was like her, my best, my best friend, me and this guy hanging out. So we ended up
meeting at McDonald's, super romantic and I was too nervous to eat anything. And he
walked in and he was so cute and tall and I have a great smile and just very shy. He
(06:01):
was so shy and I was so shocked because this guy who's literally always the one who's extroverted
and would send me videos just singing and dancing and just didn't care and was always
making fun of me was now being quiet. And it's definitely happened to me for sure. Like
people sometimes are different than they are on social media in person and that's okay.
(06:24):
And I was like, you know what? It's fine. Like we're just getting to know each other.
So I paid for his meal. I don't know why I it's, I don't know. Okay. I paid for his McDonald's
meal and I literally sat there watching him eat a burger because I was too nervous to
eat and we like chatted a little bit. I wasn't really sure what to do. And then I was like,
(06:48):
why? Like we had in the place that I was living, we had like a, what is it called? Like a rec
room? Like a, you know those places where you can like invite people to hang out and
they have like pool table and ping pong, whatever facility room. I don't know. You know what
I'm saying, hopefully. And so I invited him over there because I wasn't going to let him
(07:09):
in my house. This guy's a stranger and my friend was waiting for us there. And I told
him, I was like, Oh, one of my friends is going to be there too. And you can hang out
with us. So I bring this guy over and obviously, first of all, I probably should have told
him that because I think he was just expecting it to be him and I, and I just kind of told
(07:30):
them like, Oh, there's going to be an extra person. So if he wasn't already nervous and
overwhelmed now he was even more because my best friend was there judging him. But you
know, it turned out to be okay. We all kind of hung out. We were playing pool and ping
pong and I brought down my laptop. We had some music going. We put on a movie. We were
(07:50):
just chatting. We hung out for a few hours and it was good. And then my friend left and
just kind of left us alone. And this is where it gets, it starts getting interesting. There
was a song playing that was kind of like, I don't know, I had, I guess like a rap playlist
on because that's what I was really into at the time. And he was like, Oh, I, I know,
(08:17):
I really know this one song. Can you play it for me? And I was like, yeah. And I searched
it up. It was on like SoundCloud and I was like, Oh no, maybe he's one of those. No offense,
but. And so I play this like weird rap poppy song techno. I don't remember. It was a mix
(08:38):
of a lot of things and he starts dancing, but not like, not like dancing like woo and party
and jumping like, no, like full on K-pop. I don't know. It's like he had practiced his
whole life for this moment and he starts full on dancing. Like if we were playing just dance
(09:04):
and throwing gang signs and I have never been more turned off in my life. I was so confused.
Just pictured. Okay. I'm sitting on this couch alone and this guy who's older and taller
than me is standing in front of me and just starts full on like choreographed dancing
(09:29):
and he's serious about it. He's not like joking or like, like he's actually serious. And this
went on for a few minutes and I'm out here trying so hard not to laugh, but I'm also
like, I can't tell if he's serious or not, but like I genuinely think he was. And so
I'm just staring at him like, okay, like, you know, you do you. And the song finally
(09:53):
finishes and he goes, did you like it? And I was like, yeah, that was, you know, so good.
And he's like, I've been practicing that for weeks. Like I just, I really think I could
be a dancer and I can make it. I just want to say, I don't know how he danced to that
song because it was a lot of lyrics and rap. There wasn't much beat to it. So I, I don't
(10:19):
know. I immediately was like, this is a little weird. I'm not attracted to it. I got the
ick. I didn't know that I had the ick. I didn't even know what the ick was, but I definitely
got the ick looking back and he sits down next to me. I put on a movie and we just didn't
talk. It was awkward. He just kept like staring at me. It's not like he was trying to make
(10:41):
a move or anything. Like we just both were like uncomfortable. And I was like, this is
so weird. This guy has just, we've been talking for months and he's been super outgoing. Like
on call we've been amazing. We talked for hours and now it feels like there's absolutely
nothing to say. And it wasn't that I wasn't talking. Like I was trying to make conversation,
(11:03):
but I also did want him to lead and make some conversation with me. So it just, it was just
not it. Like the chemistry was just not there in person. And so movie ends. I don't even
remember what we watch. He ends up leaving. I walk him to the bus stop and I go home and
immediately I call my friend. I tell her what happened and she just starts dying and she's
(11:26):
like, what the heck? What was that? Like I did not like him. I thought he was too like
ghetto or I don't know, just a lot of, a lot of feedback on there, you know? And me, I
was like, it just sucks because I really did like him online. And so he ends up getting
home and he texts me and he's like, Hey, I just wanted to say like, I had an amazing
(11:53):
time. And I was like, Oh, I was not expecting that. And I was like, Oh, like I, I appreciate
you coming out. I'm glad you got home safe, this and that. And then he proceeds to like
start writing me these, these, these paragraphs saying like, I really, really like you. And
(12:13):
I'm sorry that I was more quiet. I just was so nervous. You were so beautiful. And it
was actually really sweet. And I just thought it was really cute. But I also was kind of
like, you know what? I just didn't feel any spark there. I just, I don't know. I just,
I didn't, it was the dance. I wasn't going to tell him that it was a dance, but it was
(12:35):
the dance. Okay. And eventually I was like, you know what? I just kind of see you as like
a friend, maybe let's leave it. And you, he didn't take it in any way. He was just like,
okay, yeah, I respect that all good. And that was it. And I got to say, I don't remember
what happened. I think knowing me, I, in my past, I probably ghosted him after a few months
(13:00):
and then we just stopped talking. But fast forward a few years later, I'm talking like
two, three years, I get a friend request and it was from him. And I always say this to
my friends. It's such an ongoing inside joke because they always come back. I swear people
have such an interesting way of coming back in the most random times in my life. And in
(13:26):
moments where I do not expect them or I'm not even thinking of them. And then they just
come back. Whether I take him back, that's another, another story. But eventually I was
like, Oh my gosh, I remember this guy. And so I added him back and we started talking
again and he had even more of a glow up. He was even more attractive. I was like, Oh my
(13:51):
gosh, this guy's so charming. We were like making fun of like the first time that we
went out and stuff. And we just started talking again and catching up. And I was like, Oh
like what made you think of me? And he was like, Oh, I, I don't even remember something
that he saw or whatever. We started talking again. And once again, things were great.
(14:12):
Things were amazing. We were calling, we were texting for a few months. And I was like,
maybe I should have given this guy a chance. Like maybe the universe is telling me, Hey,
this is your time to, to, to learn. Like if the universe is sending me, then obviously
this is a sign. And I just want to point out, this is a big problem with a lot of people,
(14:34):
including myself, because sometimes when people come back into my life, I think like, okay,
it's meant to be. And that's not always the case. Sometimes God is actually just trying
to teach you a lesson and see if you've learned it. And this is why. So we start talking again,
whatever. And I'm like, okay, maybe, maybe I'll give him another chance. It's been a
(14:56):
few years. We've both clearly changed a bit, but we haven't. Once again, the chemistry
feels like it's there. I'm attracted to him. He's attracted to me. And so we plan to meet
up. This time I have a car. This guy doesn't, but that's okay. And I had planned for us
to go to the planetarium. I just want to point out, I have always been such a planner. I
(15:19):
feel like I'm always the one planning hangouts and dates and this and that. I've been trying
a lot within the last year, and especially this year to just let people take charge and
also plan for me because I find that I just, I just like seeing people happy and making
new people around in my life feel loved and appreciated and putting in the effort that
(15:40):
I feel like a lot of people don't. So, but anyways, that's, I'm going off topic. So we,
I ended up picking him up and we went to the planetarium and this time the vibe was there.
Okay. Like we were just clicking. Everything was amazing. But as we get to the planetarium,
(16:05):
first of all, you know, he gets in the car. I say, hello, he smells so good. I'm a sucker
for a good cologne and we park and he's like, I'll pay the parking for you. Cause you drove
and I'm like, okay, thank you. He goes and pays the parking. We go into the planetarium.
(16:25):
And if you've ever been to a planetarium, it's about usually an hour for the show. You
know, you learn about a certain topic of the stars and NASA and whatever, and you're quiet.
Like you're here to watch a show. It's kind of like a short film or movie. And there's
usually somebody also talking and presenting this guy. Oh my gosh. Would not shut up. And
(16:47):
I'm not saying that in a rude way, but he just did not stop talking for the whole time.
It was like, I genuinely and respectfully was like, where is the off button? And he
was talking loud, like too loud where people were looking at us where to the point where
even the person who was presenting was kind of like, can you guys keep it down? It was
(17:12):
embarrassing. And then my head, I'm just going like, this guy went from like zero to 100.
Like the first time I met him, he was too quiet and now he's too loud. And then obviously
in my head, I'm like, okay, am I just being too picky or what happened? Like maybe he's
just comfortable now. Where was this energy when I needed it before? Right? And so the
(17:32):
date just kind of started going downhill from being honest. He just was talking about the
most random topics. He wasn't really making conversation with me. He was just being super
loud and yapping about his work and how he hates his family and this and that just too
much, especially for like a first like date and it wasn't our first, but you know what
(17:57):
I mean? After a few years, it was just too much. And so we get back in the car and all
of a sudden there's a ticket on my car and I go and look and it's like an $80 ticket
and I'm like, for what? For the parking. And so I look at him and I'm like, I thought you
paid for the parking. And he goes, I mean, I don't want to say it with the accent, but
(18:20):
yeah, just imagine picture really strong British accent. Wow. What just happened there? It's
like I was trying to go British, but it didn't work. And so he starts talking and saying,
oh, I was trying to pay it, but they weren't taking my card and I didn't have any change.
So I just left it. And I'm like, you should have told me like now we have a ticket. And
(18:42):
he goes, that sucks. And I'm like, excuse me, you're paying for the ticket. And he's
like, I'm not paying for that ticket. And like you said you were going to pay the parking.
And he was like, yeah, but it's your car. Immediately. I'm just like, you know what?
Whatever I'll deal with this later. I'm not going to let it ruin my mood. We go get lunch
(19:02):
and the lunch was just a disaster too. It felt forced. It felt like there was no connection.
We had just nothing in common and we were in such different places in life. Like he
was just focused on work and living with his mom. And I don't know. He, it felt like he
(19:26):
hadn't changed much from when I met him a few years ago and he had gone down a dark
path as well. And I just was on a completely different level. And so they would just, it
was bad. And to make it even worse, we get back in the car. Here we go again in the freaking
(19:47):
car. My poor car. We get in the car and this guy starts yelling and singing baby by Justin
Bieber. Why? I don't know. Okay. I don't know. I didn't ask. I'm telling you this person
was just like, it felt like honestly, maybe he took some drugs or something before seeing
(20:09):
me because he was just on such a different wavelength and was in a very rave mood. Like
he just wanted to party and scream and sing and dance. And I'm like, we're at a planetarium
and out at dinner. Like this is not the, like we're not out clubbing. We're not out drinking.
Like it's daytime. There's people around. There's kids. Like this is not it. And so
(20:30):
he grabs my phone, cues the song on Spotify, turns the volume up and I'm out here in this
tiny little parkade underground trying to reverse. And he's just like screaming in my
ear, like actually very loud. And I'm getting overwhelmed. Like there's, I'm trying to drive
now. This guy's screaming. I have a ticket. There's already things. There's too much going
(20:55):
wrong. My meal was terrible. And so as I'm reversing, he screams, Oh my God, stop. And
I literally hit a pole that was, I guess in the parkade because this guy was screaming.
I'm not blaming him completely, but like if you're screaming at the person who's driving,
(21:19):
it's it's, it's overwhelming. Okay. And so my back to light breaks because it hit this
like cement pole. And at this point I just didn't care anymore. I was kind of like, I
just want to drop this person off home and get home and I'll deal with the car tomorrow
and repairs and whatever. And then as obviously I hear it break, I look at him pause the music
(21:43):
and I'm just so frustrated. Oh my gosh. And the audacity, this guy rolls the window down,
looks over to see that my tail light broke in my car and he goes, Oh no, I think you
broke your tail light. I'm like, really? That's, that's crazy because I can hear that. I can
(22:09):
see that. And maybe if you weren't yelling at me, that wouldn't have happened. And he
just starts laughing and I'm like, this isn't funny. And I'm like, what are you going to
fix that? And he was like, it's not my car. I just, I couldn't, whatever. I drove this
guy home, dropped them off and got home, called my friend. So I'm like, I am never seeing
(22:37):
this person again. And my guy best friend was just like, why did you even go? What was
the point of that? And I'm like, I don't know. Like I thought it was like a sign from the
universe. I hadn't talked to him in years. Like we connected amazing. And he was like,
yeah, like just, just leave it. And so I, whatever. I ended up fixing my car. It wasn't
a big deal, but it was just a lot for me also. And I did, I did pay for my meal as well.
(23:02):
So I don't know. I, it just, it wasn't what I wanted. And so I ended up texting him and
I said the same thing I did before. I was like, you know what? I had a fun time with
you. Not really. And I appreciate you coming out and thanks for your time. Whatever. I
just see his friend blah, blah, blah. This guy starts sending me paragraphs after paragraphs
(23:27):
after paragraphs saying that I'm the love of his life. That I, that he knows that he's
meant to be with me, that he wants to marry me, that he knows that the fact that we reconnected
it was a sign from the universe and just all these things. And he's like, let's run away
together. And he genuinely feels like we're like, he wants to marry me and he wants me
(23:50):
to meet his mom. And he's just going off and I'm just not responding anymore. I'm uncomfortable
honestly. And he just went off at me and was just like, yeah, like I just, I knew I felt
that connection and the way we vibe together and you're just so beautiful. And I responded
to him and I was like, I, I'm sorry. I just, I don't feel the same way. I didn't even get
(24:15):
that from you. Like there wasn't any physical connection. There wasn't any really good chemistry.
Like it was really just his looks, his personality. Like I'm not saying it was bad. It just wasn't
what I needed at the time. And it was so different as well from when I met him. I was like, okay,
was he pretending? Is this like, what was the strategy here? Was there any strategy?
(24:37):
I don't know. And I told them straight up, like I just, I don't see it anymore. I'm sorry.
I just, I was very honest. I was like, okay, I'm not gonna, I don't want to ghost him or
anything. I'm just going to be honest. Well, she learned. I know. And, and he goes, oh,
I feel like you're, you're, what is the word that he's asexual, like asexual. And I was
(25:01):
like, what is that? And I looked it up and it means like, it means like someone who doesn't,
I think I hope this is the right definition. Someone who like doesn't want to date anybody
or finds anybody attractive. And like, they're just with themselves. Like they don't find
anybody attractive and no gender, no female, like no sexual desire, like nothing. And I
(25:24):
was like, why do you think that? And he's like, well, because you don't like me. And
I just started dying. I was like, so because I don't like you now automatically, I just
can't like anybody else in the world. Right. And this guy started going off again. Now
believing that I was crazy to not like him. Anyways, I just want to say I ended up not
(25:52):
ghosting him, but I did block his number after I told him several times, no more like this.
This was the end genuinely. And I kind of just decided to move past it and forget about
it. And to my surprise, a few years ago, more recently, one of my best friends was we were
(26:16):
having a chat about dating apps and she was like, oh, I started talking to this really
cute guy. And I was like, oh my gosh, tell me about him. And she goes, he's super tall.
He's good looking. And he has a really cute British accent. When I tell you my first thought
was that, I was like, what's his name? And I guess what? The same name. And I look at
(26:42):
her and she shows me a picture and I'm like, no. And here I go. And I'm like, do you remember
this one person that I told you about? She's like, yeah. I'm like, this is him. And she's
like, oh no, but like we've been talking for months. And I'm just like, girl, I am telling
(27:02):
you right now, no. And I'm not trying to be judgmental or anything. I told her like, obviously,
if you guys vibe, that's amazing. Like, I'm just telling you my experience with it. She
knows I would never stop her or anything or decisions. Maybe I've set up friends before
(27:22):
with people I've seen, like it happens. And I was like, you know what, maybe you guys
do vibe together. I just, I'm telling you my experience and I just want you to be careful.
And I was just so shocked to see that he was still on the dating apps with basically almost
the same pictures. And I was like, what a small world. Like in my head, I was like,
(27:42):
imagine if he found out or knew that this was my best friend. I genuinely was so curious
to his reaction, but she stopped talking to him thankfully. And that is the story of that.
Looking back, it's really funny, but at the time I'm telling you, I was mortified. So
(28:06):
to conclude all of this, what did that experience teach me? Honestly, a lot. First of all, I
want to say online dating really shows where your standards are, or at least in my case,
where they weren't because I went in thinking, maybe I'm too picky. I should give people
(28:28):
second chances, but there's a big difference between giving someone a chance and ignoring
red flags. First of all, second of all, there's a big difference between giving people chances
after something's gone wrong and having standards for yourself and keeping them in place. Like
(28:49):
it really made me realize how important it is to trust your gut. Like, you know when
something just feels off, but you just try and convince yourself that it's fine or that
maybe it'll be different. Please don't do that. Like you are a lot smarter than you
think. Just trust your instincts. And obviously let's not forget the biggest lesson of them
(29:09):
is, just because someone matches with you doesn't mean they're worth your time. Okay?
Not every connection is meant to go somewhere. Not every sign is actually from the universe.
And that's okay. Sometimes there is a lesson that is trying to teach us. And even after
stories like this, I feel like some people find themselves back on these apps. Like I
(29:32):
know for a fact that after this happened, I still went back. I ended up, I did end up
finding someone eventually on one of the apps and we dated for a few years. And you know,
I feel like even after you have terrible dating experiences and you go back, for a lot of
people it's a mixture of curiosity and hope or maybe the fear of missing out or they want
(29:55):
to find somebody. But like over time I realized that online dating, like it isn't that bad.
It's just what you make of it. You don't have to take it so seriously. You don't have to
settle for anyone just because you're tired of being single. And if anything, like for
me stories like this remind me how important it is to know your worth and to hold on to
it. Even after you face disappointment. I nowadays am a lot more intentional with who
(30:22):
I give my energy to, guys or girls, and whether it's an app or not. I don't personally believe
I will be going back on there. I have so many other stories. So if you guys want to leave
me a good review or let me know in the comments, I will make a part two or three because the
amount of stories that I have of awkward and terrible dates I've been on is a lot. But
(30:49):
you know what? It's fine. I'm on a different path now. I don't think about dating at all.
I'm very focused on myself and would rather find love organically. But that is my story.
I hope that this episode gave you a good laugh or maybe even some validation that if you've
had your own dating disasters, a little inspiration to keep your standards high. So thank you
(31:14):
so much for listening for today. I hope that you have an amazing day, an amazing time,
and I look forward to another episode. Take care.
Hello beautiful people! Good morning, good afternoon, good night, whatever time it is,
(00:05):
I hope you've had or had an amazing day. My name is Lorena and welcome back to another
episode of Walk and Talk. If you're new here, thank you for joining me today. I usually
just kind of rant on and talk about a certain topic that I feel like in the day and today
I've got a fun one for you guys. We are diving into online dating disasters, specifically
(00:29):
one of my first and worst online dating experiences. And if you've ever gone through the wild
ride of just like swiping left and right and awkward first dates or cringy texts or people
adding you and never talking to you again, then you totally understand where I'm coming
from. I want to share my story because I've shared it a lot with my friends and I thought,
(00:53):
you know what, I think everybody deserves to know this. Obviously I won't be disclosing
any names and I do want to say that this person is a very nice and sweet and genuine person.
But it just makes me laugh thinking back at it and obviously I want to talk about online
dating and just, yeah, let's get into it. So let's start by talking about online dating
(01:18):
like in general because honestly, who even thought of this? Genuinely, like I was taught
when I was little, don't talk to strangers on the internet. Whatever you do, don't. And
then here we are. Maybe I want to say honestly, even before COVID hit, because even before
COVID people were still on dating apps and whoever invented it, I remember being young
(01:43):
and going on a megal with my friends and chatting with random people and we thought it was super
fun and even though it was still obviously not what we were supposed to be doing and
there was that danger for sure, obviously I'm not going to go and share my address information,
but looking back, I'm like, wow, who thought of just like, let's put some pictures and
(02:05):
you get to swipe left and right and throw in a mediocre bio and just hope for the best.
And I don't even want to get into the pictures because have you ever, guys, just like those
people who have their main picture and it's like a bunch of friends and you're just like
hoping that it's that one person in the picture, but then as you swipe, you realize it's the
(02:30):
other one and you're just like, why are you putting your first profile picture as the
one with you and your friends? Like if you're doing that, I'm telling you right now, please
don't because it's like, you're just playing a game of guess who and then the bios are
like, oh, just looking for someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously or then there's
(02:55):
the odd like person that is making a joke and it's like, okay, what does that even mean?
But you know, sometimes we're bored, sometimes we're lonely and we're just hoping for some
entertainment and then some people actually find good people to match with online and
I've been there, I've done all the dating apps, not my style anymore. I would much rather
(03:16):
meet people organically. However, in my time that I did, I want to share this story with
you. So it all starts back a few years ago. I was a lot younger. I started talking to
this guy, I believe, I think it was on Tinder. It could have been one of the other apps.
(03:37):
I'm not sure. And I thought he was really cute. We started talking and obviously the
conversation moved on to Snap and Instagram, whatever. And we talked for a few weeks. He
was very cute and he had a, he had a British accent. So he would always say my name like
Lovrenia. I don't know why that always stuck with me, but that's how, how I represent him
(04:04):
as. So this person just, we, we vibed, we clicked, we would call, we would FaceTime.
He was really funny. He was tall. He was good looking. I was like, okay, like this guy checks
a lot of my boxes. To be fair, I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for, but at that time
and age, I was like, this is perfect for what I need. And his profile matched a lot of how
(04:30):
he was. Like he was very goofy. He was very silly. He was very outgoing. He was a very
honest person. I like someone who could just be themselves. I am the opposite of shy unless
I'm put in a certain environment. I feel like I'm very outgoing and extroverted in a sense
until my social battery is drained. But for the most part, I like people who I can just
(04:55):
have an easy and natural conversation with. And so we talked for a few weeks and we were
both pretty young. Neither of us drove and he lived about 40 minutes from here, from
my house. So after finally talking forever, we decided to meet up and I was scared. Okay.
(05:16):
I had never met somebody online. I, even though I knew that he was real, there was still fear.
Like I don't want to give him my home address. I don't want to, I don't know. So I ended
up inviting one of my girlfriends over and was like, you're going to be here to like
chaperone the date. Like I want you to be here for the date. So it wasn't like a date.
(05:38):
It was like her, my best, my best friend, me and this guy hanging out. So we ended up
meeting at McDonald's, super romantic and I was too nervous to eat anything. And he
walked in and he was so cute and tall and I have a great smile and just very shy. He
(06:01):
was so shy and I was so shocked because this guy who's literally always the one who's extroverted
and would send me videos just singing and dancing and just didn't care and was always
making fun of me was now being quiet. And it's definitely happened to me for sure. Like
people sometimes are different than they are on social media in person and that's okay.
(06:24):
And I was like, you know what? It's fine. Like we're just getting to know each other.
So I paid for his meal. I don't know why I it's, I don't know. Okay. I paid for his McDonald's
meal and I literally sat there watching him eat a burger because I was too nervous to
eat and we like chatted a little bit. I wasn't really sure what to do. And then I was like,
(06:48):
why? Like we had in the place that I was living, we had like a, what is it called? Like a rec
room? Like a, you know those places where you can like invite people to hang out and
they have like pool table and ping pong, whatever facility room. I don't know. You know what
I'm saying, hopefully. And so I invited him over there because I wasn't going to let him
(07:09):
in my house. This guy's a stranger and my friend was waiting for us there. And I told
him, I was like, Oh, one of my friends is going to be there too. And you can hang out
with us. So I bring this guy over and obviously, first of all, I probably should have told
him that because I think he was just expecting it to be him and I, and I just kind of told
(07:30):
them like, Oh, there's going to be an extra person. So if he wasn't already nervous and
overwhelmed now he was even more because my best friend was there judging him. But you
know, it turned out to be okay. We all kind of hung out. We were playing pool and ping
pong and I brought down my laptop. We had some music going. We put on a movie. We were
(07:50):
just chatting. We hung out for a few hours and it was good. And then my friend left and
just kind of left us alone. And this is where it gets, it starts getting interesting. There
was a song playing that was kind of like, I don't know, I had, I guess like a rap playlist
on because that's what I was really into at the time. And he was like, Oh, I, I know,
(08:17):
I really know this one song. Can you play it for me? And I was like, yeah. And I searched
it up. It was on like SoundCloud and I was like, Oh no, maybe he's one of those. No offense,
but. And so I play this like weird rap poppy song techno. I don't remember. It was a mix
(08:38):
of a lot of things and he starts dancing, but not like, not like dancing like woo and party
and jumping like, no, like full on K-pop. I don't know. It's like he had practiced his
whole life for this moment and he starts full on dancing. Like if we were playing just dance
(09:04):
and throwing gang signs and I have never been more turned off in my life. I was so confused.
Just pictured. Okay. I'm sitting on this couch alone and this guy who's older and taller
than me is standing in front of me and just starts full on like choreographed dancing
(09:29):
and he's serious about it. He's not like joking or like, like he's actually serious. And this
went on for a few minutes and I'm out here trying so hard not to laugh, but I'm also
like, I can't tell if he's serious or not, but like I genuinely think he was. And so
I'm just staring at him like, okay, like, you know, you do you. And the song finally
(09:53):
finishes and he goes, did you like it? And I was like, yeah, that was, you know, so good.
And he's like, I've been practicing that for weeks. Like I just, I really think I could
be a dancer and I can make it. I just want to say, I don't know how he danced to that
song because it was a lot of lyrics and rap. There wasn't much beat to it. So I, I don't
(10:19):
know. I immediately was like, this is a little weird. I'm not attracted to it. I got the
ick. I didn't know that I had the ick. I didn't even know what the ick was, but I definitely
got the ick looking back and he sits down next to me. I put on a movie and we just didn't
talk. It was awkward. He just kept like staring at me. It's not like he was trying to make
(10:41):
a move or anything. Like we just both were like uncomfortable. And I was like, this is
so weird. This guy has just, we've been talking for months and he's been super outgoing. Like
on call we've been amazing. We talked for hours and now it feels like there's absolutely
nothing to say. And it wasn't that I wasn't talking. Like I was trying to make conversation,
(11:03):
but I also did want him to lead and make some conversation with me. So it just, it was just
not it. Like the chemistry was just not there in person. And so movie ends. I don't even
remember what we watch. He ends up leaving. I walk him to the bus stop and I go home and
immediately I call my friend. I tell her what happened and she just starts dying and she's
(11:26):
like, what the heck? What was that? Like I did not like him. I thought he was too like
ghetto or I don't know, just a lot of, a lot of feedback on there, you know? And me, I
was like, it just sucks because I really did like him online. And so he ends up getting
home and he texts me and he's like, Hey, I just wanted to say like, I had an amazing
(11:53):
time. And I was like, Oh, I was not expecting that. And I was like, Oh, like I, I appreciate
you coming out. I'm glad you got home safe, this and that. And then he proceeds to like
start writing me these, these, these paragraphs saying like, I really, really like you. And
(12:13):
I'm sorry that I was more quiet. I just was so nervous. You were so beautiful. And it
was actually really sweet. And I just thought it was really cute. But I also was kind of
like, you know what? I just didn't feel any spark there. I just, I don't know. I just,
I didn't, it was the dance. I wasn't going to tell him that it was a dance, but it was
(12:35):
the dance. Okay. And eventually I was like, you know what? I just kind of see you as like
a friend, maybe let's leave it. And you, he didn't take it in any way. He was just like,
okay, yeah, I respect that all good. And that was it. And I got to say, I don't remember
what happened. I think knowing me, I, in my past, I probably ghosted him after a few months
(13:00):
and then we just stopped talking. But fast forward a few years later, I'm talking like
two, three years, I get a friend request and it was from him. And I always say this to
my friends. It's such an ongoing inside joke because they always come back. I swear people
have such an interesting way of coming back in the most random times in my life. And in
(13:26):
moments where I do not expect them or I'm not even thinking of them. And then they just
come back. Whether I take him back, that's another, another story. But eventually I was
like, Oh my gosh, I remember this guy. And so I added him back and we started talking
again and he had even more of a glow up. He was even more attractive. I was like, Oh my
(13:51):
gosh, this guy's so charming. We were like making fun of like the first time that we
went out and stuff. And we just started talking again and catching up. And I was like, Oh
like what made you think of me? And he was like, Oh, I, I don't even remember something
that he saw or whatever. We started talking again. And once again, things were great.
(14:12):
Things were amazing. We were calling, we were texting for a few months. And I was like,
maybe I should have given this guy a chance. Like maybe the universe is telling me, Hey,
this is your time to, to, to learn. Like if the universe is sending me, then obviously
this is a sign. And I just want to point out, this is a big problem with a lot of people,
(14:34):
including myself, because sometimes when people come back into my life, I think like, okay,
it's meant to be. And that's not always the case. Sometimes God is actually just trying
to teach you a lesson and see if you've learned it. And this is why. So we start talking again,
whatever. And I'm like, okay, maybe, maybe I'll give him another chance. It's been a
(14:56):
few years. We've both clearly changed a bit, but we haven't. Once again, the chemistry
feels like it's there. I'm attracted to him. He's attracted to me. And so we plan to meet
up. This time I have a car. This guy doesn't, but that's okay. And I had planned for us
to go to the planetarium. I just want to point out, I have always been such a planner. I
(15:19):
feel like I'm always the one planning hangouts and dates and this and that. I've been trying
a lot within the last year, and especially this year to just let people take charge and
also plan for me because I find that I just, I just like seeing people happy and making
new people around in my life feel loved and appreciated and putting in the effort that
(15:40):
I feel like a lot of people don't. So, but anyways, that's, I'm going off topic. So we,
I ended up picking him up and we went to the planetarium and this time the vibe was there.
Okay. Like we were just clicking. Everything was amazing. But as we get to the planetarium,
(16:05):
first of all, you know, he gets in the car. I say, hello, he smells so good. I'm a sucker
for a good cologne and we park and he's like, I'll pay the parking for you. Cause you drove
and I'm like, okay, thank you. He goes and pays the parking. We go into the planetarium.
(16:25):
And if you've ever been to a planetarium, it's about usually an hour for the show. You
know, you learn about a certain topic of the stars and NASA and whatever, and you're quiet.
Like you're here to watch a show. It's kind of like a short film or movie. And there's
usually somebody also talking and presenting this guy. Oh my gosh. Would not shut up. And
(16:47):
I'm not saying that in a rude way, but he just did not stop talking for the whole time.
It was like, I genuinely and respectfully was like, where is the off button? And he
was talking loud, like too loud where people were looking at us where to the point where
even the person who was presenting was kind of like, can you guys keep it down? It was
(17:12):
embarrassing. And then my head, I'm just going like, this guy went from like zero to 100.
Like the first time I met him, he was too quiet and now he's too loud. And then obviously
in my head, I'm like, okay, am I just being too picky or what happened? Like maybe he's
just comfortable now. Where was this energy when I needed it before? Right? And so the
(17:32):
date just kind of started going downhill from being honest. He just was talking about the
most random topics. He wasn't really making conversation with me. He was just being super
loud and yapping about his work and how he hates his family and this and that just too
much, especially for like a first like date and it wasn't our first, but you know what
(17:57):
I mean? After a few years, it was just too much. And so we get back in the car and all
of a sudden there's a ticket on my car and I go and look and it's like an $80 ticket
and I'm like, for what? For the parking. And so I look at him and I'm like, I thought you
paid for the parking. And he goes, I mean, I don't want to say it with the accent, but
(18:20):
yeah, just imagine picture really strong British accent. Wow. What just happened there? It's
like I was trying to go British, but it didn't work. And so he starts talking and saying,
oh, I was trying to pay it, but they weren't taking my card and I didn't have any change.
So I just left it. And I'm like, you should have told me like now we have a ticket. And
(18:42):
he goes, that sucks. And I'm like, excuse me, you're paying for the ticket. And he's
like, I'm not paying for that ticket. And like you said you were going to pay the parking.
And he was like, yeah, but it's your car. Immediately. I'm just like, you know what?
Whatever I'll deal with this later. I'm not going to let it ruin my mood. We go get lunch
(19:02):
and the lunch was just a disaster too. It felt forced. It felt like there was no connection.
We had just nothing in common and we were in such different places in life. Like he
was just focused on work and living with his mom. And I don't know. He, it felt like he
(19:26):
hadn't changed much from when I met him a few years ago and he had gone down a dark
path as well. And I just was on a completely different level. And so they would just, it
was bad. And to make it even worse, we get back in the car. Here we go again in the freaking
(19:47):
car. My poor car. We get in the car and this guy starts yelling and singing baby by Justin
Bieber. Why? I don't know. Okay. I don't know. I didn't ask. I'm telling you this person
was just like, it felt like honestly, maybe he took some drugs or something before seeing
(20:09):
me because he was just on such a different wavelength and was in a very rave mood. Like
he just wanted to party and scream and sing and dance. And I'm like, we're at a planetarium
and out at dinner. Like this is not the, like we're not out clubbing. We're not out drinking.
Like it's daytime. There's people around. There's kids. Like this is not it. And so
(20:30):
he grabs my phone, cues the song on Spotify, turns the volume up and I'm out here in this
tiny little parkade underground trying to reverse. And he's just like screaming in my
ear, like actually very loud. And I'm getting overwhelmed. Like there's, I'm trying to drive
now. This guy's screaming. I have a ticket. There's already things. There's too much going
(20:55):
wrong. My meal was terrible. And so as I'm reversing, he screams, Oh my God, stop. And
I literally hit a pole that was, I guess in the parkade because this guy was screaming.
I'm not blaming him completely, but like if you're screaming at the person who's driving,
(21:19):
it's it's, it's overwhelming. Okay. And so my back to light breaks because it hit this
like cement pole. And at this point I just didn't care anymore. I was kind of like, I
just want to drop this person off home and get home and I'll deal with the car tomorrow
and repairs and whatever. And then as obviously I hear it break, I look at him pause the music
(21:43):
and I'm just so frustrated. Oh my gosh. And the audacity, this guy rolls the window down,
looks over to see that my tail light broke in my car and he goes, Oh no, I think you
broke your tail light. I'm like, really? That's, that's crazy because I can hear that. I can
(22:09):
see that. And maybe if you weren't yelling at me, that wouldn't have happened. And he
just starts laughing and I'm like, this isn't funny. And I'm like, what are you going to
fix that? And he was like, it's not my car. I just, I couldn't, whatever. I drove this
guy home, dropped them off and got home, called my friend. So I'm like, I am never seeing
(22:37):
this person again. And my guy best friend was just like, why did you even go? What was
the point of that? And I'm like, I don't know. Like I thought it was like a sign from the
universe. I hadn't talked to him in years. Like we connected amazing. And he was like,
yeah, like just, just leave it. And so I, whatever. I ended up fixing my car. It wasn't
a big deal, but it was just a lot for me also. And I did, I did pay for my meal as well.
(23:02):
So I don't know. I, it just, it wasn't what I wanted. And so I ended up texting him and
I said the same thing I did before. I was like, you know what? I had a fun time with
you. Not really. And I appreciate you coming out and thanks for your time. Whatever. I
just see his friend blah, blah, blah. This guy starts sending me paragraphs after paragraphs
(23:27):
after paragraphs saying that I'm the love of his life. That I, that he knows that he's
meant to be with me, that he wants to marry me, that he knows that the fact that we reconnected
it was a sign from the universe and just all these things. And he's like, let's run away
together. And he genuinely feels like we're like, he wants to marry me and he wants me
(23:50):
to meet his mom. And he's just going off and I'm just not responding anymore. I'm uncomfortable
honestly. And he just went off at me and was just like, yeah, like I just, I knew I felt
that connection and the way we vibe together and you're just so beautiful. And I responded
to him and I was like, I, I'm sorry. I just, I don't feel the same way. I didn't even get
(24:15):
that from you. Like there wasn't any physical connection. There wasn't any really good chemistry.
Like it was really just his looks, his personality. Like I'm not saying it was bad. It just wasn't
what I needed at the time. And it was so different as well from when I met him. I was like, okay,
was he pretending? Is this like, what was the strategy here? Was there any strategy?
(24:37):
I don't know. And I told them straight up, like I just, I don't see it anymore. I'm sorry.
I just, I was very honest. I was like, okay, I'm not gonna, I don't want to ghost him or
anything. I'm just going to be honest. Well, she learned. I know. And, and he goes, oh,
I feel like you're, you're, what is the word that he's asexual, like asexual. And I was
(25:01):
like, what is that? And I looked it up and it means like, it means like someone who doesn't,
I think I hope this is the right definition. Someone who like doesn't want to date anybody
or finds anybody attractive. And like, they're just with themselves. Like they don't find
anybody attractive and no gender, no female, like no sexual desire, like nothing. And I
(25:24):
was like, why do you think that? And he's like, well, because you don't like me. And
I just started dying. I was like, so because I don't like you now automatically, I just
can't like anybody else in the world. Right. And this guy started going off again. Now
believing that I was crazy to not like him. Anyways, I just want to say I ended up not
(25:52):
ghosting him, but I did block his number after I told him several times, no more like this.
This was the end genuinely. And I kind of just decided to move past it and forget about
it. And to my surprise, a few years ago, more recently, one of my best friends was we were
(26:16):
having a chat about dating apps and she was like, oh, I started talking to this really
cute guy. And I was like, oh my gosh, tell me about him. And she goes, he's super tall.
He's good looking. And he has a really cute British accent. When I tell you my first thought
was that, I was like, what's his name? And I guess what? The same name. And I look at
(26:42):
her and she shows me a picture and I'm like, no. And here I go. And I'm like, do you remember
this one person that I told you about? She's like, yeah. I'm like, this is him. And she's
like, oh no, but like we've been talking for months. And I'm just like, girl, I am telling
(27:02):
you right now, no. And I'm not trying to be judgmental or anything. I told her like, obviously,
if you guys vibe, that's amazing. Like, I'm just telling you my experience with it. She
knows I would never stop her or anything or decisions. Maybe I've set up friends before
(27:22):
with people I've seen, like it happens. And I was like, you know what, maybe you guys
do vibe together. I just, I'm telling you my experience and I just want you to be careful.
And I was just so shocked to see that he was still on the dating apps with basically almost
the same pictures. And I was like, what a small world. Like in my head, I was like,
(27:42):
imagine if he found out or knew that this was my best friend. I genuinely was so curious
to his reaction, but she stopped talking to him thankfully. And that is the story of that.
Looking back, it's really funny, but at the time I'm telling you, I was mortified. So
(28:06):
to conclude all of this, what did that experience teach me? Honestly, a lot. First of all, I
want to say online dating really shows where your standards are, or at least in my case,
where they weren't because I went in thinking, maybe I'm too picky. I should give people
(28:28):
second chances, but there's a big difference between giving someone a chance and ignoring
red flags. First of all, second of all, there's a big difference between giving people chances
after something's gone wrong and having standards for yourself and keeping them in place. Like
(28:49):
it really made me realize how important it is to trust your gut. Like, you know when
something just feels off, but you just try and convince yourself that it's fine or that
maybe it'll be different. Please don't do that. Like you are a lot smarter than you
think. Just trust your instincts. And obviously let's not forget the biggest lesson of them
(29:09):
is, just because someone matches with you doesn't mean they're worth your time. Okay?
Not every connection is meant to go somewhere. Not every sign is actually from the universe.
And that's okay. Sometimes there is a lesson that is trying to teach us. And even after
stories like this, I feel like some people find themselves back on these apps. Like I
(29:32):
know for a fact that after this happened, I still went back. I ended up, I did end up
finding someone eventually on one of the apps and we dated for a few years. And you know,
I feel like even after you have terrible dating experiences and you go back, for a lot of
people it's a mixture of curiosity and hope or maybe the fear of missing out or they want
(29:55):
to find somebody. But like over time I realized that online dating, like it isn't that bad.
It's just what you make of it. You don't have to take it so seriously. You don't have to
settle for anyone just because you're tired of being single. And if anything, like for
me stories like this remind me how important it is to know your worth and to hold on to
it. Even after you face disappointment. I nowadays am a lot more intentional with who
(30:22):
I give my energy to, guys or girls, and whether it's an app or not. I don't personally believe
I will be going back on there. I have so many other stories. So if you guys want to leave
me a good review or let me know in the comments, I will make a part two or three because the
amount of stories that I have of awkward and terrible dates I've been on is a lot. But
(30:49):
you know what? It's fine. I'm on a different path now. I don't think about dating at all.
I'm very focused on myself and would rather find love organically. But that is my story.
I hope that this episode gave you a good laugh or maybe even some validation that if you've
had your own dating disasters, a little inspiration to keep your standards high. So thank you
(31:14):
so much for listening for today. I hope that you have an amazing day, an amazing time,
and I look forward to another episode. Take care.
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