July 23, 2024 • 14 mins
Our brains are really good at being judgy and so many people who state a desire find that their brain has a lot of judgments about what they want.
"You're so selfish."
"You can't do that."
"Your priorities aren't right."
"You're so greedy."
Listen to this episode to find out why our brains do this and how to override our judgemental self.
https://jamelynstephan.com
https://jamelynstephan.com/meet-with-me/
https://www.instagram.com/jamelyn_stephan_coaching/
jamelyn@jamelynstpehan.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm jamielynn Stephan, and thisis what to wanted.
(00:02):
Episode number 128.
Judging your desires.
Welcome to want to want it apodcast for women of the church
of Jesus Christ of latter daysaints who are ready to ignite
not only their sexual desire,but all of their desires to
create a more fulfilling lifeand marriage.
I'm jamielynn Stephan, I'm acertified life coach, a wife,
(00:22):
and a mother of seven children.
I'm excited to share my personaljourney to desire with you and
teach you how to desire more aswell.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome to the podcast today.
Today, I want to talk aboutjudging your desires and here's
what I mean.
Someone will think tothemselves.
I really want.
(00:43):
Fill in the blank.
And the next instant they'repassing all sorts of judgments
on why they shouldn't want whatthey want.
So, for example, a mom says Ireally want a day for myself, no
family around.
Just rest.
You know, work on a projectwithout interruption, have a
chance to just have totalcontrol of the remote, whatever.
(01:03):
Right.
I just want one day by myselfand immediately her brain says
that is so selfish.
Or maybe you want to start abusiness, you have an idea, you
love a product or a service youwant to offer to people, and you
just really feel the desire tostart a business, but your brain
says you can't do that.
You have no idea how to do that.
That's actually impossible foryou.
(01:25):
Perhaps you're someone who has abig physical goal.
You feel like you want toachieve, maybe you want to run a
marathon or peak a mountain orbeat a record at the CrossFit
gym, right.
Something like that.
And your brain says that goal istotally out of your reach.
Some people set financial goalsfor themselves.
Maybe they want to earn.
$5 million this year and alltheir brain can say to that is
(01:47):
you are so greedy.
Or maybe you're someone whowants a six pack or a certain
waist size and your brain saysyou're so shallow.
You're just so shallow.
And our brains do this all thetime and they're extra good at
it because not only do theyspend all day judging what we
want and desire, they spend allday judging what other people
(02:07):
want and desire.
People will get vulnerable andshare what they want.
And our brain tends to go to.
That's impossible.
Who do you think you are?
Or they're so selfish or they'reso vain, they're focused on the
wrong things.
You know, they're materialistic.
They have their priorities mixedup, right?
Like our brains are really,really good at being judgmental.
No.
I've talked on here before aboutthe motivational triad, right.
(02:29):
We seek pleasure.
We seek ease and we avoid pain.
These are really what willmotivate us.
If we don't consciously choosesomething different.
And this served us well for manyyears, because we lived in a,
for real dangerous world.
Well, not us, but our ancestorsone where you could be eaten by
a tiger going to get water foryour family, you know, or they
(02:50):
were living in a world where ifit, you know, if it doesn't rain
for too long, like you don'teat.
So, this is kind of how ourbrains have evolved and we need
to be kind to our brain.
That's like, listen, we needthings to be easy because we
only have so much energy toexpend.
When everything we do has to bedone by hand or through walking,
(03:11):
we need to avoid danger anddeath at all costs.
And.
Then like getting that foot rubfelt amazing, right?
Like this is what our brain is,is trained to do.
Seek pleasure and avoid pain.
This is totally normal and a bigway that our very long ago,
ancestors survived was by beingin groups or tribes.
(03:33):
Right.
Being in a tribe, decrease thework, increase the safety, and
it also increased the pleasure.
But for those of us in northAmerica, most of the time we are
living in a very easy world.
We're seeking ease and pleasureand avoiding pain often doesn't
serve us.
Because it actually can decreasethe satisfaction and enjoyment
of our lives and certainlynegatively impact our personal
(03:54):
growth.
But we are still tribal bynature.
We want to belong.
There is safety and belonging.
But this desire to belong inthis motivational triad of
seeking ease and pleasure andsafety, make it really easy for
us to become very judgmental.
So part of belonging means wewant to keep up.
So if we feel like someone isgetting ahead of us, we can
(04:15):
start to make judgements abouttheir goals and desires.
Kind of like the lobster in thepot.
Is that what it is?
Lobsters that grab and pull eachother back into the pot.
Let's just say that's what itis.
Okay.
That's what we start to do.
We want to keep everyone equaland together.
It feels safer that way.
In fact, it's not even thatequality matters so much.
It's more of like, you justcan't be better than me.
(04:37):
And what would even be betterthan that is if you are less
than me, because then my placein this tribe is more secure
than yours.
And then I get to feel saferhere.
So don't you other person gogetting too big for your
britches?
Because that makes me feelinsecure.
I might not have a tribe soon ifyou get too far ahead of me.
And so when we hear otherpeople's desires, we can start
(04:57):
to judge them.
Right.
We're like, Hey.
Don't be getting ahead here.
Don't be trying to leave mebehind.
Don't be doing anything thatthreatens my place in this
tribe.
And we also know that even forus, right, getting too big for
your britches can sometimes gobadly for you for the person who
does it.
So when we start to allowourselves to desire something,
(05:19):
Our brain steps in and says,well, stop what you're doing.
Who do you think you are?
You're going to get too big foryour britches.
And this tribe's going to judgeyou and kick you out.
This is not a safe thing to do.
So, this is one of the reasonsthat we judge people and we
judge their desires and it's thesame reason why we unfairly
judge our desires.
(05:39):
Another reason that we do thisis because of past experience,
past experiences, shape ouropinions of what is good and
bad, right.
And wrong sensible, or totallycrazy.
So, if you grew up in a homewhere your mom stayed home until
you and your siblings all lefthome.
But you suddenly find yourselfwanting to go back to school or
get a job.
Your brain may very well, judge,you harshly for that desire.
(06:01):
If your dad had a verysuccessful career as a
businessman and you decide yourgreatest desire is to be a
kindergarten teacher.
Your brain may tell you you'recrazy and lazy and not as good.
I look at my youngest daughterand the little girls on our
basketball team.
If they attempt a three pointshot and miss, even if they want
to make a three point shot oneday, they have a hard time
(06:21):
overcoming their judgmentalbrains and trying again.
I've had friends who just wantto end the patterns of abuse
that have plagued their familiesfor generations, but their
brains seem to always offer themthat.
That is so impossible.
Right.
So our past experience sets usup to be really judgy to
ourselves and our desires.
(06:41):
My husband is a big idea, man.
At least to me, he really is.
I am much more conservative.
Do what you've always kind ofseemed done kind of girl.
And he's always thinking aboutsomething new to try or do or to
buy.
And so he will come to me withthis big idea and also start to
tear it apart.
Not harshly.
Just more like, have you thoughtabout this or how would that
(07:02):
work given the ages of our kidsright now?
Or do you want to spend thatkind of money right now?
So he has called me a dreamkiller for a long time and I
took offense to it because Ifelt like I was just being
captain logic.
But over time, I can see thatboth of us are actually probably
right.
There were times when I wasbeing captain logic, just
(07:22):
opening his eyes to some thingsthat maybe he hadn't considered.
But there were times when I wasjust being judgmental of his
dream.
And I tell you this story,because what I see so many
people do to themselves is bedream crushers to themselves.
They think a thought aboutsomething they desire and smash
no more dream.
Right?
They kill it by judging it astoo expensive, too hard, too
(07:44):
selfish to whatever.
I'm not against using thereasonable mind.
You have been blessed with todecide if it truly is wise or
not to pursue a desire, right?
They want to use that logicalbrain, that reasonable mind, but
you can't make a good choice ifyou aren't given the choice.
And when we judge our desires soharshly that we crushed them
(08:05):
right off the bat.
You really never get a chance tomake a choice.
So I think you have two choiceswhile you probably actually have
many more choices than that, butif you are the biggest judger of
your wants and desires, I havetwo suggestions of things you
can do.
One, you can just let it be,just know that your brain is
always going to judge yourdesires and just leave it at
(08:26):
that.
Just be like, yep.
I'm going to have a desire.
My brain is going to come in tohave a lot of judgment about it.
It's fine.
The second thing you can do isyou can expect it just kind of
like I was saying, like, yep,this is what my brain does, but
you're actually going to letyourself feel the feelings that
come up with it.
And then you're going toredirect your brain to something
else.
Okay.
(08:46):
And I'm working on somethingsimilar right now.
But one thing I want to suggestis to think of a character from
a book or a movie who feelsreally judgy.
So my daughter suggested ReginaGeorge from mean girls.
I've actually never seen it, butmaybe you know who that is, or
for you who are pride andprejudice fans, lady Catherine
de Berg.
(09:07):
Right.
Just kind of this idea of thisreally judgmental judgy person.
Think of someone looking downtheir nose at you, scoffing at
you, rolling their eyes at you.
Take that image and put it inyour mind.
Or maybe somewhere where you'regoing to see it.
And title that image, myjudgmental self.
This is your judger.
(09:27):
And the reason I want to suggestthis is because first it helps
to eliminate their power.
You recognize it's their prideand ego.
That's judging you.
And that it is not a friendgiving you good advice.
This is a judger.
The other reason.
I think it's a good idea isbecause it helps you remember
that you really don't respectthe judger.
No one respects the mean girl orthe prideful man.
(09:48):
So if it helps and I think itwill give yourself a judger to
picture in your mind.
And when you think to yourself,I love to do that.
And your brain says that is soselfish.
You can just picture your judge.
You're saying it and realize youprobably don't care what they
think.
So you can expect that yourjudger is always going to be
hard at work in your mind,crushing your dreams and judging
(10:09):
your desires.
So let the thoughts come andthen let the feelings come that
come with it.
It will be interesting becauseyou will feel judgmental.
That will be one of the feelingsthat will come, but you will
also feel disappointed orembarrassed or ashamed because
of the desire you wanted.
That the judge had told you, youshouldn't want, so you may have
to actually process two emotionshere for sure.
(10:31):
You're going to have to allowhim process the negative emotion
that comes up in you when youare judging yourself harshly.
And then you can redirect yourmind to what your hero, your
advocate, your believer wouldtell you.
And I want to point out that asyou do this process, your judger
will get quieter.
He, or she probably won'ttotally disappear, but they will
not be so loud as you practicegiving them less credit and
(10:55):
listening more to your hero,your advocate, your believer.
So.
If you want to process emotion.
That comes up from the judgmentand then redirect your mind.
It is going to require you toprobably have some go-to
thoughts.
You think when your judgy brainhas had it say.
So Maybe it will be somethinglike it's all good judgy brain.
(11:17):
I'm just learning how to letmyself desire things, even
impossible things so that I canlearn more about myself and who
I am.
We are safe.
I'm going to let myself desirethis so that I can practice how
to do it.
And see how it feels.
Okay, but nothing scary ishappening right now.
Or you could say it's okay.
Judgy brain.
I'm just playing with thispossibility.
I don't want to do anythingcrazy.
(11:38):
You can trust me.
Or it's okay.
Judgy brain.
I'm a good person and I won't beselfish and greedy.
Like you think I will be.
Did you know, judgy brain thatyou can go after your desires
and still keep your goodcharacter.
You didn't.
Well, let me show you how it'sdone.
What if this turns out amazing.
Remember, desiring and learninghow to go after what you want
(11:58):
are essential to establishing agood relationship with yourself
and with contributing inpositive ways to your most
important relationships and tosociety.
We actually want to always bedesiring.
We want to want it, But for someof us, it takes a lot of
practice.
So if we have a brain that'salways judging our desires as
mine does.
We have to learn how to calm ourjudgy brain down and truly speak
(12:21):
logic to it.
It feels like it's being sological that in reality, it's
just freaking out.
So we have to reassure our mindsby reminding it of our
intentions and of our character.
So let the emotions come.
If you're wanting something youthought you couldn't want or
something you have neverconsidered wanting, you can
count on your judgy brainshowing up.
(12:42):
So let the judgment come.
Let the negative emotions come.
You can even let judgy brainhave it say right.
Have it just have it subtle minespill.
But then after that, let thefeeling be in your body and
start to redirect your brain tostories that are true, but also
permissive and supportive ofgoing after what you want.
Remember, we actually have lotsof wants and desires come
(13:04):
through our mind in a day.
Some of them we don't evenhardly pay attention to.
So there are already a lot ofdesires that will never go past
the think about stage.
So don't freak out when yourbrain offers you something it
wants.
Allowing yourself to want it fora time.
Doesn't mean it will ever besomething you pursue, but you
will never even have a chance ifyou don't override your judgy
(13:24):
brain and let yourself want it.
The last thing I want to leaveyou with is that when you
disrespect your desires, youteach other people to
disrespect.
What you desire.
But even more hurtful than that,the more you allow yourself to
disrespect your desires.
The more you will continue todisrespect your desires and the
less likely you will be to everknow yourself well or go after
(13:47):
what you really want.
So let's just practice lettinggo of the judgments of our
desire, or at least let it comeand then redirect our minds to
what is really going on here sothat we can learn how to want to
want it, learn how to knowourselves better.
Have a great week, everybody by.
(14:08):
Thanks for listening today.
If you like what you hear on thepodcast, and you'd like to learn
more, feel free to head over tomy website.
Jamielynn Stephan coaching.comor find me on Instagram or
Facebook at jamielynn Stephancoaching.
I'm jamielynn Stephan, and thisis what to wanted.
(00:02):
Episode number 128.
Judging your desires.
Welcome to want to want it apodcast for women of the church
of Jesus Christ of latter daysaints who are ready to ignite
not only their sexual desire,but all of their desires to
create a more fulfilling lifeand marriage.
I'm jamielynn Stephan, I'm acertified life coach, a wife,
(00:22):
and a mother of seven children.
I'm excited to share my personaljourney to desire with you and
teach you how to desire more aswell.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome to the podcast today.
Today, I want to talk aboutjudging your desires and here's
what I mean.
Someone will think tothemselves.
I really want.
(00:43):
Fill in the blank.
And the next instant they'repassing all sorts of judgments
on why they shouldn't want whatthey want.
So, for example, a mom says Ireally want a day for myself, no
family around.
Just rest.
You know, work on a projectwithout interruption, have a
chance to just have totalcontrol of the remote, whatever.
(01:03):
Right.
I just want one day by myselfand immediately her brain says
that is so selfish.
Or maybe you want to start abusiness, you have an idea, you
love a product or a service youwant to offer to people, and you
just really feel the desire tostart a business, but your brain
says you can't do that.
You have no idea how to do that.
That's actually impossible foryou.
(01:25):
Perhaps you're someone who has abig physical goal.
You feel like you want toachieve, maybe you want to run a
marathon or peak a mountain orbeat a record at the CrossFit
gym, right.
Something like that.
And your brain says that goal istotally out of your reach.
Some people set financial goalsfor themselves.
Maybe they want to earn.
$5 million this year and alltheir brain can say to that is
(01:47):
you are so greedy.
Or maybe you're someone whowants a six pack or a certain
waist size and your brain saysyou're so shallow.
You're just so shallow.
And our brains do this all thetime and they're extra good at
it because not only do theyspend all day judging what we
want and desire, they spend allday judging what other people
(02:07):
want and desire.
People will get vulnerable andshare what they want.
And our brain tends to go to.
That's impossible.
Who do you think you are?
Or they're so selfish or they'reso vain, they're focused on the
wrong things.
You know, they're materialistic.
They have their priorities mixedup, right?
Like our brains are really,really good at being judgmental.
No.
I've talked on here before aboutthe motivational triad, right.
(02:29):
We seek pleasure.
We seek ease and we avoid pain.
These are really what willmotivate us.
If we don't consciously choosesomething different.
And this served us well for manyyears, because we lived in a,
for real dangerous world.
Well, not us, but our ancestorsone where you could be eaten by
a tiger going to get water foryour family, you know, or they
(02:50):
were living in a world where ifit, you know, if it doesn't rain
for too long, like you don'teat.
So, this is kind of how ourbrains have evolved and we need
to be kind to our brain.
That's like, listen, we needthings to be easy because we
only have so much energy toexpend.
When everything we do has to bedone by hand or through walking,
(03:11):
we need to avoid danger anddeath at all costs.
And.
Then like getting that foot rubfelt amazing, right?
Like this is what our brain is,is trained to do.
Seek pleasure and avoid pain.
This is totally normal and a bigway that our very long ago,
ancestors survived was by beingin groups or tribes.
(03:33):
Right.
Being in a tribe, decrease thework, increase the safety, and
it also increased the pleasure.
But for those of us in northAmerica, most of the time we are
living in a very easy world.
We're seeking ease and pleasureand avoiding pain often doesn't
serve us.
Because it actually can decreasethe satisfaction and enjoyment
of our lives and certainlynegatively impact our personal
(03:54):
growth.
But we are still tribal bynature.
We want to belong.
There is safety and belonging.
But this desire to belong inthis motivational triad of
seeking ease and pleasure andsafety, make it really easy for
us to become very judgmental.
So part of belonging means wewant to keep up.
So if we feel like someone isgetting ahead of us, we can
(04:15):
start to make judgements abouttheir goals and desires.
Kind of like the lobster in thepot.
Is that what it is?
Lobsters that grab and pull eachother back into the pot.
Let's just say that's what itis.
Okay.
That's what we start to do.
We want to keep everyone equaland together.
It feels safer that way.
In fact, it's not even thatequality matters so much.
It's more of like, you justcan't be better than me.
(04:37):
And what would even be betterthan that is if you are less
than me, because then my placein this tribe is more secure
than yours.
And then I get to feel saferhere.
So don't you other person gogetting too big for your
britches?
Because that makes me feelinsecure.
I might not have a tribe soon ifyou get too far ahead of me.
And so when we hear otherpeople's desires, we can start
(04:57):
to judge them.
Right.
We're like, Hey.
Don't be getting ahead here.
Don't be trying to leave mebehind.
Don't be doing anything thatthreatens my place in this
tribe.
And we also know that even forus, right, getting too big for
your britches can sometimes gobadly for you for the person who
does it.
So when we start to allowourselves to desire something,
(05:19):
Our brain steps in and says,well, stop what you're doing.
Who do you think you are?
You're going to get too big foryour britches.
And this tribe's going to judgeyou and kick you out.
This is not a safe thing to do.
So, this is one of the reasonsthat we judge people and we
judge their desires and it's thesame reason why we unfairly
judge our desires.
(05:39):
Another reason that we do thisis because of past experience,
past experiences, shape ouropinions of what is good and
bad, right.
And wrong sensible, or totallycrazy.
So, if you grew up in a homewhere your mom stayed home until
you and your siblings all lefthome.
But you suddenly find yourselfwanting to go back to school or
get a job.
Your brain may very well, judge,you harshly for that desire.
(06:01):
If your dad had a verysuccessful career as a
businessman and you decide yourgreatest desire is to be a
kindergarten teacher.
Your brain may tell you you'recrazy and lazy and not as good.
I look at my youngest daughterand the little girls on our
basketball team.
If they attempt a three pointshot and miss, even if they want
to make a three point shot oneday, they have a hard time
(06:21):
overcoming their judgmentalbrains and trying again.
I've had friends who just wantto end the patterns of abuse
that have plagued their familiesfor generations, but their
brains seem to always offer themthat.
That is so impossible.
Right.
So our past experience sets usup to be really judgy to
ourselves and our desires.
(06:41):
My husband is a big idea, man.
At least to me, he really is.
I am much more conservative.
Do what you've always kind ofseemed done kind of girl.
And he's always thinking aboutsomething new to try or do or to
buy.
And so he will come to me withthis big idea and also start to
tear it apart.
Not harshly.
Just more like, have you thoughtabout this or how would that
(07:02):
work given the ages of our kidsright now?
Or do you want to spend thatkind of money right now?
So he has called me a dreamkiller for a long time and I
took offense to it because Ifelt like I was just being
captain logic.
But over time, I can see thatboth of us are actually probably
right.
There were times when I wasbeing captain logic, just
(07:22):
opening his eyes to some thingsthat maybe he hadn't considered.
But there were times when I wasjust being judgmental of his
dream.
And I tell you this story,because what I see so many
people do to themselves is bedream crushers to themselves.
They think a thought aboutsomething they desire and smash
no more dream.
Right?
They kill it by judging it astoo expensive, too hard, too
(07:44):
selfish to whatever.
I'm not against using thereasonable mind.
You have been blessed with todecide if it truly is wise or
not to pursue a desire, right?
They want to use that logicalbrain, that reasonable mind, but
you can't make a good choice ifyou aren't given the choice.
And when we judge our desires soharshly that we crushed them
(08:05):
right off the bat.
You really never get a chance tomake a choice.
So I think you have two choiceswhile you probably actually have
many more choices than that, butif you are the biggest judger of
your wants and desires, I havetwo suggestions of things you
can do.
One, you can just let it be,just know that your brain is
always going to judge yourdesires and just leave it at
(08:26):
that.
Just be like, yep.
I'm going to have a desire.
My brain is going to come in tohave a lot of judgment about it.
It's fine.
The second thing you can do isyou can expect it just kind of
like I was saying, like, yep,this is what my brain does, but
you're actually going to letyourself feel the feelings that
come up with it.
And then you're going toredirect your brain to something
else.
Okay.
(08:46):
And I'm working on somethingsimilar right now.
But one thing I want to suggestis to think of a character from
a book or a movie who feelsreally judgy.
So my daughter suggested ReginaGeorge from mean girls.
I've actually never seen it, butmaybe you know who that is, or
for you who are pride andprejudice fans, lady Catherine
de Berg.
(09:07):
Right.
Just kind of this idea of thisreally judgmental judgy person.
Think of someone looking downtheir nose at you, scoffing at
you, rolling their eyes at you.
Take that image and put it inyour mind.
Or maybe somewhere where you'regoing to see it.
And title that image, myjudgmental self.
This is your judger.
(09:27):
And the reason I want to suggestthis is because first it helps
to eliminate their power.
You recognize it's their prideand ego.
That's judging you.
And that it is not a friendgiving you good advice.
This is a judger.
The other reason.
I think it's a good idea isbecause it helps you remember
that you really don't respectthe judger.
No one respects the mean girl orthe prideful man.
(09:48):
So if it helps and I think itwill give yourself a judger to
picture in your mind.
And when you think to yourself,I love to do that.
And your brain says that is soselfish.
You can just picture your judge.
You're saying it and realize youprobably don't care what they
think.
So you can expect that yourjudger is always going to be
hard at work in your mind,crushing your dreams and judging
(10:09):
your desires.
So let the thoughts come andthen let the feelings come that
come with it.
It will be interesting becauseyou will feel judgmental.
That will be one of the feelingsthat will come, but you will
also feel disappointed orembarrassed or ashamed because
of the desire you wanted.
That the judge had told you, youshouldn't want, so you may have
to actually process two emotionshere for sure.
(10:31):
You're going to have to allowhim process the negative emotion
that comes up in you when youare judging yourself harshly.
And then you can redirect yourmind to what your hero, your
advocate, your believer wouldtell you.
And I want to point out that asyou do this process, your judger
will get quieter.
He, or she probably won'ttotally disappear, but they will
not be so loud as you practicegiving them less credit and
(10:55):
listening more to your hero,your advocate, your believer.
So.
If you want to process emotion.
That comes up from the judgmentand then redirect your mind.
It is going to require you toprobably have some go-to
thoughts.
You think when your judgy brainhas had it say.
So Maybe it will be somethinglike it's all good judgy brain.
(11:17):
I'm just learning how to letmyself desire things, even
impossible things so that I canlearn more about myself and who
I am.
We are safe.
I'm going to let myself desirethis so that I can practice how
to do it.
And see how it feels.
Okay, but nothing scary ishappening right now.
Or you could say it's okay.
Judgy brain.
I'm just playing with thispossibility.
I don't want to do anythingcrazy.
(11:38):
You can trust me.
Or it's okay.
Judgy brain.
I'm a good person and I won't beselfish and greedy.
Like you think I will be.
Did you know, judgy brain thatyou can go after your desires
and still keep your goodcharacter.
You didn't.
Well, let me show you how it'sdone.
What if this turns out amazing.
Remember, desiring and learninghow to go after what you want
(11:58):
are essential to establishing agood relationship with yourself
and with contributing inpositive ways to your most
important relationships and tosociety.
We actually want to always bedesiring.
We want to want it, But for someof us, it takes a lot of
practice.
So if we have a brain that'salways judging our desires as
mine does.
We have to learn how to calm ourjudgy brain down and truly speak
(12:21):
logic to it.
It feels like it's being sological that in reality, it's
just freaking out.
So we have to reassure our mindsby reminding it of our
intentions and of our character.
So let the emotions come.
If you're wanting something youthought you couldn't want or
something you have neverconsidered wanting, you can
count on your judgy brainshowing up.
(12:42):
So let the judgment come.
Let the negative emotions come.
You can even let judgy brainhave it say right.
Have it just have it subtle minespill.
But then after that, let thefeeling be in your body and
start to redirect your brain tostories that are true, but also
permissive and supportive ofgoing after what you want.
Remember, we actually have lotsof wants and desires come
(13:04):
through our mind in a day.
Some of them we don't evenhardly pay attention to.
So there are already a lot ofdesires that will never go past
the think about stage.
So don't freak out when yourbrain offers you something it
wants.
Allowing yourself to want it fora time.
Doesn't mean it will ever besomething you pursue, but you
will never even have a chance ifyou don't override your judgy
(13:24):
brain and let yourself want it.
The last thing I want to leaveyou with is that when you
disrespect your desires, youteach other people to
disrespect.
What you desire.
But even more hurtful than that,the more you allow yourself to
disrespect your desires.
The more you will continue todisrespect your desires and the
less likely you will be to everknow yourself well or go after
(13:47):
what you really want.
So let's just practice lettinggo of the judgments of our
desire, or at least let it comeand then redirect our minds to
what is really going on here sothat we can learn how to want to
want it, learn how to knowourselves better.
Have a great week, everybody by.
(14:08):
Thanks for listening today.
If you like what you hear on thepodcast, and you'd like to learn
more, feel free to head over tomy website.
Jamielynn Stephan coaching.comor find me on Instagram or
Facebook at jamielynn Stephancoaching.
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