July 30, 2024 • 48 mins
On this episode I have my most special guest ever - my husband, Jarad Stephan. He is really good at going after what he wants. Our conversation explores topics like setting goals, the challenges of navigating life's unexpected paths, and the importance of aligning one's desires with God's will. Jarad also shares insights on manifesting dreams, the role of sacrifice, and the process of trusting God's plan. We also discuss societal expectations and the different messages men and women receive about their desires.
https://jamelynstephan.com
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jamelyn@jamelynstpehan.com
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
I'm jamielynn Stephan.
(00:01):
And this is what taunted episodenumber 129.
Going after what you want withJared Stephan.
Welcome to want to want it apodcast for women of the church
of Jesus Christ of latter daysaints who are ready to ignite
not only their sexual desire,but all of their desires to
create a more fulfilling lifeand marriage.
I'm jamielynn Stephan, I'm acertified life coach, a wife,
(00:23):
and a mother of seven children.
I'm excited to share my personaljourney to desire with you and
teach you how to desire more aswell.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome to the podcast today.
I'm the most excited todaybecause I have the best guest on
that I have been wanting to haveon my podcast for a long time.
When I first started thepodcast, I said to him, maybe
(00:45):
you should get on and do apodcast called in my defense.
But that never happened.
And we've talked about differenttopics that he could come on and
discuss with me.
Um, and then finally I was like,listen, you are somebody who
just goes after what you want.
And that's such a good topic fordesire.
So I want to introduce you to myhusband.
Jared Stephan.
And I'll actually let him tellyou a little bit about himself.
(01:08):
Go ahead and tell us about you,Jared.
Well, thanks Jane one.
And I'm doing one's husband.
I'm also known as Jared Stephan.
And, uh, We've been married for26 years coming up on 27 years.
Very shortly.
I was born in.
(01:28):
Alberta and raised mostly inAlberta and.
One of five boys.
I have a twin brother.
Uh, I grew up, you know,Actually moving around quite a
bit.
And, um, I think that actuallyhelped me become fairly
adaptable in my life.
Having to move from place toplace.
I think I went to six differentelementary schools.
(01:49):
Before we finally settled downin red deer, Alberta, which was
really good.
And I had wonderful parents.
Um, you know, we didn't.
Always have a lot, but, uh, Ialways knew that they loved me.
And that was probably one of thebiggest gifts that I had in my
life.
I served a mission after highschool, I served in Japan.
Which was another great blessingand gift to my life as bless me,
(02:11):
richly.
And after I got back from Japan.
I started attending school atred deer college, um, and met
Jamilin.
And we were married.
You know about.
A little less than a year later.
And we've been.
Happily married.
Dare I say.
(02:34):
The majority of that time.
We'll see, we're happily marriedfor the majority of the time.
Anyways.
Um, I'm very grateful.
For jam Lynn and she's awonderful wife and, uh, she is.
And wonderful mother to ourseven children.
And.
You know, it's, it's been a goodjourney.
And I think that.
(02:54):
With any journey.
There are challenges, any goodjourney, actually.
There's there's challenges andthere is things that you have to
struggle through.
And, um, I think that there'sups and downs.
But that's the makings of a goodjourney in my opinion.
Is that there's good times andhard times and sad times, and
(03:17):
really a full range of thingsthat you experience.
You know, we like to climbmountains a lot, and I think
that any good hike has thoseepisodes and those times where
it's really challenging.
And you're like, what am I doingon this hike?
And I think that we sometimeslook at our life like that a
little bit.
And we're like, what am I doingwith Jared?
(03:39):
It's crazy sometimes.
You know, and I'm probably like,what am I doing?
I actually, I shouldn't saythat.
I'm always very grateful for GMone.
She's we.
Air all the laundry here.
Yeah.
Maybe this should be in mydefense.
I.
But.
We've had a very, very good lifetogether.
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And we've been richly blessed.
And, um, you know, you'retalking about going after what
you want and kind of seeing yourdreams come.
Com, uh, into reality.
And I think that's kind of whatyou want me to talk about.
And I think.
We can look together and saythat.
Our life has been, that has beena manifestation of a lot of
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dreams coming into reality.
No, as you look back and say,well, what do I want my life to
look like?
And I think that we kind of endup.
Reaching that thing that we'relooking for.
I think that as we talk.
One thing that will become moreand more obvious is that.
You know, the pathway to wherewe think we're going to get or
(04:42):
where we're wanting to get.
Even though we meet yet, there,it's not the pathway.
We envision a lot of the time.
Um, the pathway actually ends upbeing very, very different.
For a lot of things that we endup maybe getting too.
But there's a lot of, you know,detours and unexpected.
Things that happen along thepath to getting where you want
(05:03):
to be.
About can sometimes deter youfrom continuing on.
But when you kind of hold that,that dream really firmly in your
grasp and feel like no, I canget there.
And then you figure out ways toovercome those obstacles are.
Go around that detour andpersevere until you actually
kind of find that thing thatyou're looking for.
(05:24):
So do you feel like, becausethis is what I'll tell you about
Jared.
It has been such a blessing inmy life.
And sometimes the bane of myexistence is that as soon as he
has an idea, Of something thathe wants.
It is like, it just appears, itjust seems to just happen.
And I don't know, I think myanxiety around what it was going
(05:46):
to mean if whatever he wantedhappen made it so that I would
sometimes be what he would calla dream killer.
And so I definitely have beenvery blessed, but also had times
where I have been like, man, ifthis guy just decides he's going
to get it and what's that goingto mean to me or for me?
So.
I guess what I want to knowfirst, Jared, because I feel
(06:09):
like I am just learning the actof manifesting.
Um, deliberately, I think thatthere's lots of things that have
happened in my life that I.
I wanted and didn't realize thatI was creating along the way and
just was like more hoping wascoming my way.
But I feel like you approachthings so differently.
So when you have a dream orsomething that you really want,
(06:30):
do you feel like it is so easyfor you to picture it and to
like, feel yourself there?
What what's it like for you whenyou have this desire?
Yeah, I think that there is anability to kind of project into
the future.
And be in that situation whereyou are living that thing that
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you're hoping to be.
And I think that I can actually,when you talk about that, see
myself in that scenario and whatit would feel like or what I
think it would feel like, but atleast to feel like, yeah, I'm
there.
And there is a pathway to that.
I think that what I usuallydon't understand is what that
pathway is.
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You know, And that's where itbecomes.
I can say it's kind of excitingin some ways it's, it's, it's
something that I've come torealize though, is that yes, I
can project and see myself.
In that future state.
In that thing that I'm hopingfor to come about.
Being there and actuallyhappening.
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But.
As I've gone through lots ofthings that I've wanted to see
happen in my life, the pathway Irealized it's not for my
determining.
And sometimes it's frustrating.
But there also has to come alevel of acceptance.
Like the pathway is going to bewhat the pathway is.
If it's truly what you want,then it's not going to
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necessarily always be easy.
Yeah, I that's actually funnybecause I remember, especially
when we were first married, wekind of had this idea.
I know you didn't really mentionthat you also did medical school
and, or a physician, but we justhad this idea of like where you
were going to go to school andwhere we were going to live.
And.
And it all changed.
It was like, God took this bigcosmic eraser and just totally
(08:18):
erased our plans.
But in the end, we actuallyended up with everything we
wanted.
We had the family we wanted, yougot into medical school.
Like all of the things that weactually had wanted to create in
our life came, but totallydifferent than we thought.
And I just remember.
At the beginning feeling sofrustrated, so discouraged.
(08:39):
So disappointed.
At setbacks.
And then finally, just when Ifinally was able to kind of
settle into it, just realizing,because we were far enough along
that I could look back and seeGod's hand and recognize like,
oh, It's all coming together.
Just in a better way than Icould have even imagined.
(09:00):
Really, even though it feltfrustrating at the time.
And I think that's reallyimportant what you said there
about.
You know, it comes together, butin God's way, And I think that
gods.
Got the master plan.
He sees all that.
He understands all and he does,I think often put in our minds.
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The things that we should.
Be looking for in our lives.
Those goals, those aspirations,whether they're physical or
spiritual or temporal orwhatever.
I think that there is a planthere that is put there.
Bye.
Maybe ourselves in our premortalexistence in consultation with
our father in heaven.
(09:42):
And we design our lives.
And that design sometimesbecomes very strongly imprinted
on us and things that we thinkwe should be doing in our lives.
Because I do think that, youknow, like we make a plan.
And God has a plan for us, but Ithink we were co-creators in
that plan before we came toearth.
(10:02):
And.
Well, that's, that's somethingthat comes out in my patriarchal
blessing actually is.
That.
You know, I helped design thisplan for my life.
So I think there was, you know,certain things in my life that I
always felt like I was called todo.
And to be.
And one of those was being aphysician, you know, like when I
(10:22):
was very young, Even like secondgrade or third grade.
I remember my teacher asking me.
Um, saying, Hey, what do you,what do you want to be when you
grow up?
And I'm like, well, I want to bea doctor.
I was like, oh, is this, isthere somebody in your family?
Has doctors, your dad a doctor?
I'm like, no, I don't know anydoctors.
They're like, well, how do youknow you want to be that I'm
like, I.
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Just want to be that.
And that never changed.
Like.
Never once.
Was that ever anything that Iever said, I want it to be
different than that.
And certainly, you know, like Ilook at that and think that was
always part of the plan for me,that I, that I was going to do
that because I always felt itvery, very strongly that it was
something in the direction Ishould go.
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In my life now, the path todoing that.
I was no more challenging than Ithought it'd be.
And, um, You know, there's lotsof good lessons though.
But I learned through walkingthe path to get into medical
school and.
To get through medical schooland, you know, to determine what
I do in a specialty.
(11:24):
And there's been lots ofsurprises and generally they're
really good surprises.
But, um, lots of challengesalong the way as well.
Okay.
So you are, to me, you are a bigidea, man.
I always am like, oh, he's gotbig ideas.
Do you ever feel like I'm socrazy?
Or like, this is totally out ofreach or impossible or selfish?
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Like, do you ever get thisnegative?
Self-talk when you have an ideaor does it just feel like, oh,
this is it.
And I'm just like going for it.
Like, I feel like I get negativechatter.
Hmm.
You know, I don't really get alot of negative chatter.
I'm your negative chatter?
Sometimes you might be mynegative chatter.
(12:07):
But I don't want to actuallyproduce a lot of negative
chatter.
I bought the things that I feelare actually the things that
should be doing.
You know, there.
There are things where I'm like,I might have this grandiose idea
or this.
Thing.
That would be one.
Wouldn't this be awesome.
You know, like I remember like,oh, wouldn't it be awesome to be
(12:28):
like a professional tennisplayer?
Yeah.
And there's a part of me though.
That's like, Hey, that's notreally your path.
You know, But for those thingsthat I truly do feel are my
path.
No, there's there's, there's nonegative chatter.
Wow.
That's theirs.
I guess there's just a realbelief that that is the path.
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And because it is what I'msupposed to do.
It's going to work out.
Okay.
So tell me this, because therewas a time when you and your
brothers were looking at buyinga property together and you went
all in on it.
And I really believed in myheart, it was 100% going to
happen because Jared was all inon it.
But it did not materialize.
(13:13):
So.
Like, how do you make sense ofthat?
Like what do you think about it?
Like, but it didn't work out.
What's your thoughts about it?
Like, was it hard for you?
Was it shocking to you?
When you're disappointed it was,I.
You know what, like this is thatthat's an interesting
experience.
(13:33):
And actually there was goodthings to learn from that.
And I think sometimes, you know,like there's things.
I talked about like the thingsthat we, that we know we want
that are in line with reallywhat the grant design and plan
is.
And was this one of those thingsthat was in line with one of the
grit with really what the granddesign and plan is.
And I guess in the end I couldsay, I don't know, obviously it
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wasn't because it didn't happen.
But there was a time in therewhere this was truly something
that I was working hard for.
No, the other side of the coinis, you know, if, if I had been
left solely up to me, weprobably would have had the
property because when it came tobidding and stuff, I told my
brothers, I'm like, no, this iswhat we need to bid.
If we really want this.
I mean, cause it was a group andwe had different opinions.
(14:17):
We ended up cutting, goingmiddle of the road.
And it didn't work out.
But my thoughts on it were, Hey,this is what we have to do for
me to make this happen.
And I guess that's sometimeswhat happens when you're in
relationship with people andtheir designs and ideas.
Aren't the same.
And maybe it wasn't the rightthing for them.
So the interesting thing,though, that came out of that.
(14:40):
Was, I remember really.
You know, Telling God, Hey, Iwant to see this happen.
And, um, And really kind ofbeing quite prayerful about
that.
And having some level of about,you know, is this going to work
out or not?
And, um, I remember.
Praying about this and thishaving this kind of.
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Overwhelming feeling.
And these thoughts come into myhand head.
Sorry.
That God said, he's like, Hey.
That's all right.
I know you, I know your familyand I got you.
And.
That wasn't him saying?
Yeah, you're going to get this.
And I recognize that at thetime.
(15:22):
But I did realize that.
This is okay.
Whatever happens was meant tohappen.
And the outcome is okay.
And so you can be at peace thatthe outcome is understood by me,
your father in heaven.
And that's all right.
And so when the outcome came,not in our favor, Because we're
(15:43):
in this bidding war.
Which wouldn't have been abidding war.
It was.
But when it didn't come out inmy, in, in, in the, in the, in
our favor.
I actually had a lot of peaceabout it because I had that
experience where, you know, Godwas saying to me in my mind,
like, I know you and what youwant.
And I got you and your family.
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That's okay.
So when it didn't happen, I'mlike, it's okay.
This is what God intended.
And, um, you know, he hassomething better or different in
store for us.
And so he sees all, he knows allhe understands all.
And so, you know, what willhappen will be what's meant and
intended for our family.
I think sometimes the challengethat.
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We have is really learning tosubmit our will to God's will.
And not try to.
You know, tell God what's bestfor us.
You know, and that's somethingthat's always kind of tricky to
do.
And I feel like, you know, whenwe have our desires in line with
what God desires for us, Thereis a moment where you can feel
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that.
And, you know, sometimes Godputs stuff in front of you that
you didn't really expect.
And you're like, oh, is thiswhat I need to be doing?
And.
He'll be like, yeah, this iswhat you need to be doing.
For this kind of external pushor pressure to.
Embark on a different type ofjourney.
That you weren't reallyexpecting yourself to embark on.
Totally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(17:06):
And so right.
You know, I'd say like, that'sgoing to New Zealand.
And it was one of those things.
Where.
God kind of put it into my mindthat this is what I need to do.
And I really felt a push.
Externally to move towards that.
And, um, do you ever feel likeyour.
(17:28):
That you ever get in your head alittle bit, like I'm pushing
through the store no matterwhat, like, I want it so bad.
Like, do you ever have to kindof catch yourself?
Pushing too hard for something.
Or is it just like, no, I, Ijust push hard because that's
how I get what I want.
Um, I think that when it's.
Th there is like kind of a pointwhere you're.
(17:51):
Were you doing something and youhave to kind of say, All right.
Is this not happening becauseit's not supposed to happen.
Or is it not happening because.
I haven't done.
What's required to have ithappen yet.
You know, most I I'm a very firmbeliever in the law of
sacrifice.
And we have to be puttingwilling to put on the alter
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something.
To get something better.
And there's a sacrificerequired.
This is an eternal principle tobring about really amazing, good
things in your life.
It will require sacrifice.
Of some sort.
And figuring out what thatsacrifice is.
It can be a challenge.
No.
But on the other side of thecoin is.
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You know, is it really what Godintends for us?
And when we have in our heartsthat we truly want to follow
God.
And we want to be able to do hiswill even more and above are our
will.
And he understands that therewill be sometimes an impediment
to you succeeding in the thing.
That is not truly what Godunderstands is best for you.
(18:56):
And so I do think that God.
You know, doesn't.
Give us what we don't want.
And if what we want is his willto be manifest in our lives.
Sometimes that means he's goingto withhold stuff that he knows.
It's not going to be far best.
The trick is sometimes figuringout well.
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Is it not happening because Ihaven't put the right sacrifice
on the alter yet.
Or is it not happening becauseit's not, what's intended for me
to have, and I've already toldGod.
That first and foremost, I wanthis will manifest in my life.
Right.
Do you, do you feel like, like,you know, I also sometimes have
days where I'm like, why is thisso hard?
(19:39):
And then I realized like, ohright, I'm trying to do this all
on my own.
Do you have times where you feellike, oh, I'm forgetting.
Like I gotta align myself.
I gotta align myself to.
With God to a different energyhere.
And do you like, do you feellike you ever get.
Kind of in the throws of justlike wanting it and going for
(19:59):
it.
That you like, oh right.
I need to realign myself here.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
There's obviously times whereit's like, okay, I know this is,
this feels like the right pathto be on.
But things aren't quitehappening.
The way I expect them to happen.
I'll put them to happen.
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And so.
When that happens.
I look at it and say, Oh, I needto probably.
Question myself.
Am I not involving God enough?
And do I need to realign thisgoal a little bit?
Not really realign thedestination, but the path there.
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So it involves Cod more.
And that he becomes an equalpartner right in this.
Do you feel like you have alwaysbeen kind of the psych
goal-focused lots of desireddriven person?
Or do you feel like it'ssomething that you kind of
developed over time as youstarted to just get older?
Like, do you feel like it justwas.
(21:02):
Uh, part of you.
I think that.
Um, There's always been someelement of.
Wanting to.
Accomplish some things that wereimportant to me.
You know, I always wanted to bea doctor.
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I always wanted to get marriedand have a family.
And.
You know, there's some bigpicture ideas that I'd always
wanted to see kind of happen.
And as for like, Minutiae goals.
In and day out.
This is what I want to do.
I'm not always the best at that.
You know, There's there's kindof the treadmill of life that
(21:46):
you step on and it's like, allright, I'm going to.
Do this today and tomorrow it'sgoing to rinse and repeat.
And back at work.
But, um, but you've done some,like, I mean, even just like,
I'm going to go off.
Sugar or for an eternity or.
You know, you just you've donesome things like that, where
(22:08):
it's like, You just get it inyour head and.
Just like, go for it.
It's like you don't even careabout the discomfort.
Yeah, I think there's somebenefit to trying to put
yourself in a situation whereyou are doing something that's a
little challenging.
And requires you to.
(22:28):
Suffer a little.
Sorry, everybody.
Suffering mandatory apparentlyto reach your dreams.
Suffering.
We're sacrificing or whateveryou want to call it.
Yeah.
There's work required.
And.
Um, If you want to call itsuffering, you want to call it
(22:48):
pain.
Or discomfort.
There there's that element ofthat, which requires.
Which is, I guess, really arequirement for the growth
that's needed to get you to thenext level.
You know, we've talked about.
Growing pains as kids.
And those are very physicalmanifestations that you have of
(23:08):
an experience that.
You know, seems to be.
Linked to your growth.
And it's uncomfortable.
Yeah, but would you really wantto stay small forever?
Or would you be able to, youknow, manage that pain of
growth?
Two.
You know, gain yourself andstature.
(23:29):
And we can look at that as avery physical realm.
When we're children and we'retrying to grow into adolescents
and grow into adulthoodphysically.
Yeah.
But you know, when it comes to,what do I want to be in?
Do I want to grow?
In my life, in my relationships,in these things that are
important to me.
(23:49):
Am I willing to go through thatgrowing pain, which is going to
be uncomfortable.
And voluntary, right?
Voluntary.
It's a choice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes.
Yes.
Sometimes.
Life comes at you and you'reforced to grow.
Yeah.
And I think that's part of God'sdesign as well.
(24:10):
Is that.
You know, we signed up for thiswith the idea that, you know, we
understood that there would besome challenges.
And.
That's okay.
That's the challenge has come.
And I think they're uniquelytailored for us.
To help us grow into the personthat God intends us to be.
Yeah.
Okay.
So.
There's a lot of women that feellike they aren't given a lot of
(24:33):
permission to desire things, orit's kind of like, here are the
things you can want.
And that's kind of what you candesire.
And they look at men and feellike men are given permission to
desire anything and everything.
Do you, do you feel like that istrue?
No.
(24:53):
Okay.
Yeah.
Don't tell me about it.
I think that it's a lie thatpeople buy into.
And I think that's anunfortunate lie.
I think that, uh, No men andwomen have in this society here
anyways, a lot of equality ofopportunity.
And I think that's a blessing.
(25:14):
I think that, uh, we sometimeslook around and try to find
excuses for why things aren'thappening the way we want them
to happen.
But ultimately in the end.
I think that it comes down towhat are you willing to
sacrifice to get what you want?
And.
Um, but I think, I think whatsome women find is that it's
(25:37):
like, I have to like, Give upsome, I, I'm not like.
Uh, good girl.
All right.
It's.
I'm giving up some.
Kind of goodness.
Goodness.
Too.
Want more than maybe society hastold me I can have.
Do you know what I mean?
And I don't know if that existsfor boys, for men.
(25:58):
The same as it seems to fromwomen.
And I think it, it bleeds into.
All sorts of areas of theirlife.
I remember taking JenniferFinlayson fights the art of
desire course, which you shouldall take.
It's so good.
But, you know, she really doestalk in there a lot about this
(26:19):
psych.
You know, many women havesuppressed desire because they
need to be selfless.
They need to be others focused.
They need to be only wanting.
Things that, you know, they onlywant motherhood only want to be
a wife and not because anythingis wrong with those desires.
(26:41):
W when I was asked in elementaryschool, what I wanted it to be,
it was like, I want to be a mom.
And I never changed that either.
And I don't feel bad about that.
But I certainly do see thatthere is kind of this.
I don't know.
It's not because opportunityisn't there.
It is there, but there's alsothis messaging of like, A good
(27:01):
woman.
Is kind of desireless she'sdesirable.
Right.
Like she needs to be desirable.
But she herself.
Is kind of desire less.
And do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I think that, um, we doget a lot of cultural messaging.
(27:21):
And, uh, messages from societyfrom.
For both genders.
That can be.
Very.
Uh, counterproductive to asucceeding in.
You know what our true desiresare.
And what do you think it is formen?
What do you think the messagingis?
That is hard.
Really.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's the messaging.
(27:42):
That's hard.
Um, I don't have to think aboutthat a little bit.
'cause one thing that I think isa little bit of like, You
should, you should be superambitious.
You should be almost a littlecutthroat.
You should be.
You know, you should know whatyou should know, what you want
(28:03):
and go for it.
Right.
And I feel like there's a lot ofimpatience about young adult
boys who don't know whatthey're, what they want to do.
Maybe over young adult girls whodon't know what they want to do.
Um, and maybe that's not totallyaccurate.
Yeah, I think that there's someexpectations that, uh, Do you
(28:24):
get put out there?
And whether they're fair or not,I guess, you know, that's up to
the individual to decide.
I don't know if it's necessarilyfair for other people to put a
lot of expectations on peoplethat they don't know.
But.
No.
Th there are definitely culturalexpectations that come through
for men.
You know, I can think about, Ican.
(28:46):
And it's not that all of themare bad, to be honest with you.
You know, in some of theexpectations.
Came, you know, are, are veryintimate in, in a more culture
of a family.
For example.
Right.
And I can think about thingsthat were expected.
Me of me as a child and wherethese things fair all the time.
I don't know.
(29:07):
Well, I think there's probablygood things and bad things about
it.
I remember.
You know, like saying, Hey, my,my dad's saying, go get yourself
a job and go pay for your, yourtextbooks in high school.
And that's not myresponsibility.
That's shores.
And.
Get your own clothes.
And if you're going to want acar, you're going to buy it.
And.
And that's okay.
(29:27):
You know, like there was this.
Culture of learning to beself-sufficient.
And some people might look atthat and say, well, you know,
that's not really great for, toput all that responsibility on a
teenager.
And there might be somelegitimacy to that.
But on the other hand, There issome legitimacy to, to learn how
(29:48):
to be self-sufficient.
And, you know, there are lots ofexpectations that are put on to
people, especially within thechurch too.
And it's not that those are allbad.
The challenge comes to, youknow, how do you rectify if you
feel like you're falling short?
Of an expectation.
And the other question is, youknow, where's that expectation
(30:09):
coming from.
Is that coming from?
You know, a source that doesn'treally have any business putting
that on you.
Right.
Or is it coming from a sourcethat does.
And ultimately, you know, Ithink you have to really search
out in your heart prayerfully.
This is something that Godexpects me to do.
Okay.
Tell me this then.
(30:30):
This is.
Do you feel like there arecertain things.
That maybe aren't as sociallyacceptable for a man to desire
or maybe anyone to desire.
I I've talked to women.
There are certainly things wherethey, they struggle with.
There doesn't seem to be asocial acceptance of.
(30:51):
Like it, it's good to want this,but not as good to want that.
Do you feel like men are in thatquandary?
Sometimes themselves as well ofthere are socially acceptable
things for me to desire.
And so when I go for them,people applaud me and then other
things that people are a littlebit like, are you.
Sure.
Are you crazy?
Yeah, that's really dependent onthe society that you keep.
(31:15):
Because I could look out andsay, Hey it's is it socially
acceptable for me to.
You know, Work and.
You know, Just be a workaholicand.
Bringing as much mess as muchfortunate as I can at whatever
expense and climb the ladder of,you know, whatever corporation.
(31:36):
Or, you know, Aspire to thesepositions of power and prestige.
And for some people.
They might be like, yeah.
Yeah, of course you should wantthat.
You should want to, you know,climb as high as you possibly
can in that realm.
And.
You know, some other societymight be like, Hey.
What are you doing?
(31:57):
You know, there's an expense towhat you're doing.
Yes.
I see, and they might be like,you look at all the neglect that
you're having.
You're, you're missing out onyour, your wife and your kids,
and then growing up and spendingtime with them.
So it really depends on thesociety that you keep and the
voices that you're listening to.
Yeah.
No.
So there are expectations eitherway.
(32:18):
No, because you can make theargument.
As well that, and we talkedabout.
The aspiring to really great perprofessional success.
Okay to aspire a greatprofessional success.
Is going to cost something.
And somebody might from onesociety say, what are you doing?
That's horrible.
(32:38):
And the other society that.
You know, He holds those valuesdear, or maybe we're trying
those.
For whatever reason that samearena.
Or like, yeah.
Push as hard as you can at theexpense of whatever.
Yeah.
Whereas the other society wouldbe like, no, Step back.
You know, you don't need to dothis.
All right.
(32:59):
And I think that in the end, youreally have to listen to the
spirit.
As to what direction you have togo.
Yeah.
And I think that.
You know, God will speak to us.
About.
How hard we have to push themone direction.
You know, And there's messagesthat come.
You know, like I remember God.
(33:19):
I don't remember my dreams veryoften.
But there are a few dreams.
I really remember.
And they're messages for me.
And I'm quite confident of that.
And one of these dreams I had, Iremember that.
I's in this race and it's kindof like on boogie boards in this
river.
And.
As racing against all thesepeople.
And I was good at this race andit seemed like I got out of
(33:42):
control and it's hitting thesewaves and this river and
balancing, balancing all of asudden.
Just flying through the air.
And my car will know, and thenlike, I'm going to crash, but
this wind catches me.
And it just places me gentlydown on the side of this cliff.
And I looked down.
I can see the river and I'mlike, oh, I'm okay.
(34:03):
Uh, cool.
That was.
I was lucky I was going to crashon the rocks somewhere, you
know, cause I just got launchedout of this river.
But I was really doing good inthe race.
I was like, and I liked beinggood in the race.
That felt good.
But on the side of the mountainthere.
It was very calm.
And peaceful.
(34:23):
I looked down on the river andlike, the race is still going
on.
I'm like, okay.
Got to get back in the race.
At all sudden my father's besideme.
And he looks at me and he says,son, You don't have to go back
there.
And.
Well, that was a strong messageto me because I realized, Hey.
(34:47):
Yeah, you have someresponsibilities here.
But the purpose of this life,isn't the race.
And so there's a check andbalance to things that come in.
We're willing to listen to Godand his messages for us.
Yeah.
So no getting back to yourquestion.
Yeah, it's really, depending onthe society that you're
(35:07):
listening to as to whether theirexpectations.
Or her fair or not for you?
And you really have to kind offigure out.
Ultimately what that plan Godhas for you and your life.
And.
What the things that areimportant that he wants you to
accomplish are.
And we can get distracted veryeasily by listening to society.
(35:28):
And the messages there that, um,You know, Seem promising.
But don't deliver the peace andjoy and happiness that will come
if we're truly following whatGod wants us to do.
So good.
Okay.
So, because as I always say onhere, If nothing else, I have
(35:49):
these podcasts that I can sharewith my children.
Um, even if nobody ever listensto them.
So.
What would you want to tell ourchildren or teach them that
hopefully my listeners canbenefit from as well.
To help them succeed at dreamingand desiring and going after
what they want.
(36:11):
Yeah, I think the dreaming isawesome.
And I think it's.
Really great to have dreams.
Um, I think her life is reallykind of empty.
If there's not a dream there.
And.
I think that, you know, we haveto give ourselves permission to
dream.
No, it's, it's kind of astarting point to building
something.
(36:32):
And being curious about what isit?
I truly want my life.
What do I want it to look like?
And kind of going down thesedifferent ideas.
Well, what if I did this orthat?
And kind of striking onsomething that feels good.
And I think that, uh, you know,when you strike on that thing,
that feels right.
That you start.
(36:52):
Working towards it.
If it's not the right thing.
No, I do think there'll beimpediments that are
insurmountable.
That will come up.
Yeah.
No.
The insurmountable.
Impediments to come, but.
You just always have to kind ofgo back to God and just say,
what is it that you want me todo?
(37:14):
And if it is something that I'mstill supposed to do, even
though it's hard.
I'm willing to keep working atit.
Just kind of show me what it is.
I need to sacrifice here and howto include you in this decision
that my life.
So that we're able to, co-createsomething that's incredible.
And lasting and in the end,ultimately, terminal.
(37:35):
Yeah.
I, I feel so much more as I'veworked on this myself.
Just so much more of just whenyou allow yourself to desire.
And I've had times where Iactually have to require myself
to actually step into desire.
And when I do that, I feel morelike myself.
(37:56):
Right.
Desires are an expression ofyou.
Right.
Like saying, I want this it's sodifferent than I need something.
Like I need food.
I need shelter.
I would say that those basicneeds, but just wanting
something just because you wantit because, and we don't all
want the same things.
That's how we know it's kind ofan expression of us.
(38:19):
Right.
Yeah.
And so I feel like that is thething.
And that's the reason why I dokind of want people to be able
to.
Just allow themselves.
A glimmer of what they desireand what I'd want for my kids is
just think about what youdesire.
And like you said, dream aboutit.
(38:41):
Let yourself want it.
Because it is, even if itdoesn't come to pass.
It is you.
Kind of honoring you andlearning about you and being
you.
I don't know.
Do you, does that make sense?
Yeah.
There is a, uh, Another line outof my patriarchal blessing that
says the greatest desires ofyour heart can be yours.
(39:05):
And.
There's a couple of things thatstand out there for me is like
our desires can be great.
Yeah.
They should be great.
I know I'm a little bit of asmaller dreamer than Jared, but
I'm getting better.
Have great designers.
Dream big.
It's fun.
It honestly is fun.
Yeah to dream big, but thegreatest desires of your heart.
(39:28):
I think the other thing there'slike, uh, have great desires.
And they don't that certainly agreat desire doesn't necessarily
mean a big desire, but it meansit's something great.
You know, But it's of yourheart.
And so you have to understandyour heart.
Yeah.
And if you don't understand whatyou hurt really wants.
You know, it's going to be hardto figure out what that great
(39:50):
desire is.
Yeah.
There is a journey of kind oftrying to understand yourself.
And understand who you are.
And understand.
You know what that better partof you really wants.
And really needs.
We often feed.
You know that.
Uh, not so great part of us.
(40:12):
There's definitely a dichotomyto us.
All of us as individuals.
Yeah.
And sometimes we feed that.
Uh, part of a set isn't reallythat great.
And that part of us that is kindof selfish and self centered
and.
Maybe lazy.
Procrastinates.
No, you, you call me.
You have, I know you have a namefor me.
(40:32):
My twin brother.
And it's true.
Sometimes we procrastinate.
And that is an unfortunate, youknow, shortcoming of myself that
sometimes.
Crops up.
And I recognize that, and that'snot the great part of me.
You know, that's, that's not theheart that needs to be there.
(40:53):
And there's a purifying thatcomes to us through Christ that
allows us to, uh, really createa great life.
You know, Um, I think that, youknow, the other thing that I'd
say is when your desire.
Is truly.
The desire of your hurt, yourpure heart, the hurt that is
given to you by God.
(41:15):
Um, you know, he talks abouthe'll take that heart of stone
and replace it.
With a fleshy heart.
That kind of heart.
You know, the heart that issubmissive to God and really
wanting to do his will.
When you have that as yourdesire.
You unlock the powers of heavento really help you succeed in
(41:36):
your dreams.
And you get that enabling powerwhen you're following God's
direct directions for you.
You know, I can think about whenI became the chief of anesthesia
and that was something that Ifelt called, directed me to do.
Um, I really do.
I wasn't going to apply for thatjob.
I looked at it, but that's aheadache.
(41:57):
That's going to be.
A lot of problems and as wellaware of the problems that were
going to come my way, if I didthat.
But I couldn't deny that that'swhat God wanted me to do.
And so I applied for it.
And he gave me enough.
Of his power.
To be able to persist in doingwhat I needed to do.
(42:18):
In that job.
And it wasn't always fun.
But, you know, I'd havecolleagues, like, how do you,
how are you doing all this thatyou're doing?
And.
Yeah.
Cause they know what my life waslike, and I throw this huge roll
on top of it.
And I'm like, that's it back andthink about it.
And I'm like, you know what itis.
It's it's the power of God'sspirit.
(42:42):
You know, his strength becomesyour strength when you're doing
his well.
When you're following hisdirections in your life.
So figure out what God wants youto do.
You know, have a pure heart.
Understand what your heartwants.
I understand that, you know, thethings that you're going for.
Are the things that God wantsyou to go for.
You have that belief.
(43:03):
And you work towards thosethings.
And you're willing to submit towhat God asked you to do.
You know, even if it's scary,Then you're going to have his
power behind you, and you'regoing to see amazing things
happen in your life because Godis amazing.
He's incredible.
And he can make anything happen.
He thinks bigger than we think Icould have named this episode.
(43:25):
Testify, fight Jared's stuff.
It's awesome.
So good.
But tell me this.
I think some people getjudgmental about certain
desires, right?
They think.
You know, Like in my opinion, Ithink there's a lot of people
that are very famous fordifferent reasons.
Inventing something, being anactor, being a singer.
You know, and, and I think God'shand is in that.
(43:48):
That I think some people feellike if my desire is to be a
famous singer.
That seems.
It's selfish or shallow or notworthy of maybe God's approval.
Do you know what I mean?
I think.
It can be kind of, we get in ourhead what we think.
(44:08):
Uh, an acceptable desire to Godwould be.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's dangerous totry to think, you know, the will
and mind of God.
Especially when it comes tosomeone else's life.
Yeah.
I think that, uh, You know,there is a plan.
(44:28):
That God has for all of hischildren.
And that plan may be some kindof.
No famous individual.
And I think that, you know, theother truth is that.
God is always trying to give uswhat we truly want.
And if we're willing tosacrifice for that.
And we'll get it.
Sometimes even if it's not thething, that's the best for us.
(44:49):
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, I had a recent.
Uh, interaction with a newfriend of mine.
And he was telling me about hisjourney to God.
And, um, he was, you know,telling me that, uh, he was
sitting there and.
And living a life that didn'thave a lot of God in it.
And, uh, God's.
(45:10):
No set in his mind.
Is this really what you want.
Cause if it is.
And I'll leave you alone.
If this is really what you want.
No, we get what we want.
Yeah.
Gabby Bernstein says theuniverse.
Always says yes.
To what.
We focus on and desire.
(45:31):
Even sometimes.
To our own Detra, our owndetriment.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
Well, I really, reallyappreciate your insights, your
vulnerability.
You've been very vulnerable.
And, um, so appreciate that.
I have to tell you all that,Jared is the reason that my
podcast is called.
(45:52):
Want to want it.
And I knew I was supposed tostart a podcast.
I was afraid.
So when God speaks to Jared,he's like, yes.
And when God speaks to me, I'mlike, no, And so I knew I was
supposed to do a podcast and Iwas so afraid to do it.
Okay.
I was talking to Jared and Isaid, I don't know what to call
it.
And he said, why don't you callit, want to want it?
(46:13):
And I hated it.
As soon as he said it, it feltso personal.
It felt like.
I don't know.
I was like, no, I'm not doingthat.
And we were hiking along.
Through this little forest, andby the time we'd been hiking for
about 10 minutes, I was like,you know what?
That is the name.
That is what it is supposed tobe called.
(46:33):
So thank you, Jared.
I'm so glad you finally got tocome on to what to want it.
And be my guest.
Thank you, Jane, when, um, Youknow, so incredibly amazed at
the hard work that you've doneputting together a podcast.
Um, you know, it's, it's beenamazing to watch you do this and
to create something that, uh, isvery memorable and it's helped a
(46:55):
lot of people.
And I'm grateful for yourexample of, you know, doing the
journey.
See something come out thatrequired work and effort, but
was something that you weresupposed to do.
And I'm sure you can look backand say, you know, the journey
wasn't quite as, as I envisionedit.
There is lots of differencesthan I thought it would be.
(47:17):
But the destination was whereGod intended me to be.
Yeah.
And I just think, uh, you know,that's, um, something that I see
a lot in my life when I'm goingfor things that are.
I think I'm supposed to be goingfor.
And, um, Um, God has a plan andthere's a journey for us.
(47:38):
We'll be okay on that journey.
As long as we just keep ontrusting in God and persisting
along our path.
Yeah.
I agree.
I agree.
But again, thanks for yourexample.
And she has a wonderful wife.
She is she's amazing.
And editing that out at the end.
And just please don't.
And I love her deeply and, um,I'm really blessed to have her,
(48:01):
and I'm really proud of whatshe's done here.
And I know that it's helped alot of people and it will
continue to help people becauselives in the internet land.
It never goes away now.
That's right.
One day, I'm going to hearmyself talking about something I
never spoke about, but someone'scompiled and.
For AI has made some speech fromme that.
(48:22):
That's right.
Just taken out all these clipsfrom my podcast and created
something.
If I was important enough.
Okay, here is such a thing thatanyways, thanks so much, Jared.
I hope you all have a fantasticweek.
I hope your summer is goingamazing and is beautiful.
Talk to you next week.
Bye.
Thanks for listening today.
(48:43):
If you like what you hear on thepodcast, and you'd like to learn
more, feel free to head over tomy website.
Jamielynn Stephan coaching.comor find me on Instagram or
Facebook at jamielynn Stephancoaching.
I'm jamielynn Stephan.
(00:01):
And this is what taunted episodenumber 129.
Going after what you want withJared Stephan.
Welcome to want to want it apodcast for women of the church
of Jesus Christ of latter daysaints who are ready to ignite
not only their sexual desire,but all of their desires to
create a more fulfilling lifeand marriage.
I'm jamielynn Stephan, I'm acertified life coach, a wife,
(00:23):
and a mother of seven children.
I'm excited to share my personaljourney to desire with you and
teach you how to desire more aswell.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome to the podcast today.
I'm the most excited todaybecause I have the best guest on
that I have been wanting to haveon my podcast for a long time.
When I first started thepodcast, I said to him, maybe
(00:45):
you should get on and do apodcast called in my defense.
But that never happened.
And we've talked about differenttopics that he could come on and
discuss with me.
Um, and then finally I was like,listen, you are somebody who
just goes after what you want.
And that's such a good topic fordesire.
So I want to introduce you to myhusband.
Jared Stephan.
And I'll actually let him tellyou a little bit about himself.
(01:08):
Go ahead and tell us about you,Jared.
Well, thanks Jane one.
And I'm doing one's husband.
I'm also known as Jared Stephan.
And, uh, We've been married for26 years coming up on 27 years.
Very shortly.
I was born in.
(01:28):
Alberta and raised mostly inAlberta and.
One of five boys.
I have a twin brother.
Uh, I grew up, you know,Actually moving around quite a
bit.
And, um, I think that actuallyhelped me become fairly
adaptable in my life.
Having to move from place toplace.
I think I went to six differentelementary schools.
(01:49):
Before we finally settled downin red deer, Alberta, which was
really good.
And I had wonderful parents.
Um, you know, we didn't.
Always have a lot, but, uh, Ialways knew that they loved me.
And that was probably one of thebiggest gifts that I had in my
life.
I served a mission after highschool, I served in Japan.
Which was another great blessingand gift to my life as bless me,
(02:11):
richly.
And after I got back from Japan.
I started attending school atred deer college, um, and met
Jamilin.
And we were married.
You know about.
A little less than a year later.
And we've been.
Happily married.
Dare I say.
(02:34):
The majority of that time.
We'll see, we're happily marriedfor the majority of the time.
Anyways.
Um, I'm very grateful.
For jam Lynn and she's awonderful wife and, uh, she is.
And wonderful mother to ourseven children.
And.
You know, it's, it's been a goodjourney.
And I think that.
(02:54):
With any journey.
There are challenges, any goodjourney, actually.
There's there's challenges andthere is things that you have to
struggle through.
And, um, I think that there'sups and downs.
But that's the makings of a goodjourney in my opinion.
Is that there's good times andhard times and sad times, and
(03:17):
really a full range of thingsthat you experience.
You know, we like to climbmountains a lot, and I think
that any good hike has thoseepisodes and those times where
it's really challenging.
And you're like, what am I doingon this hike?
And I think that we sometimeslook at our life like that a
little bit.
And we're like, what am I doingwith Jared?
(03:39):
It's crazy sometimes.
You know, and I'm probably like,what am I doing?
I actually, I shouldn't saythat.
I'm always very grateful for GMone.
She's we.
Air all the laundry here.
Yeah.
Maybe this should be in mydefense.
I.
But.
We've had a very, very good lifetogether.
(03:59):
And we've been richly blessed.
And, um, you know, you'retalking about going after what
you want and kind of seeing yourdreams come.
Com, uh, into reality.
And I think that's kind of whatyou want me to talk about.
And I think.
We can look together and saythat.
Our life has been, that has beena manifestation of a lot of
(04:21):
dreams coming into reality.
No, as you look back and say,well, what do I want my life to
look like?
And I think that we kind of endup.
Reaching that thing that we'relooking for.
I think that as we talk.
One thing that will become moreand more obvious is that.
You know, the pathway to wherewe think we're going to get or
(04:42):
where we're wanting to get.
Even though we meet yet, there,it's not the pathway.
We envision a lot of the time.
Um, the pathway actually ends upbeing very, very different.
For a lot of things that we endup maybe getting too.
But there's a lot of, you know,detours and unexpected.
Things that happen along thepath to getting where you want
(05:03):
to be.
About can sometimes deter youfrom continuing on.
But when you kind of hold that,that dream really firmly in your
grasp and feel like no, I canget there.
And then you figure out ways toovercome those obstacles are.
Go around that detour andpersevere until you actually
kind of find that thing thatyou're looking for.
(05:24):
So do you feel like, becausethis is what I'll tell you about
Jared.
It has been such a blessing inmy life.
And sometimes the bane of myexistence is that as soon as he
has an idea, Of something thathe wants.
It is like, it just appears, itjust seems to just happen.
And I don't know, I think myanxiety around what it was going
(05:46):
to mean if whatever he wantedhappen made it so that I would
sometimes be what he would calla dream killer.
And so I definitely have beenvery blessed, but also had times
where I have been like, man, ifthis guy just decides he's going
to get it and what's that goingto mean to me or for me?
So.
I guess what I want to knowfirst, Jared, because I feel
(06:09):
like I am just learning the actof manifesting.
Um, deliberately, I think thatthere's lots of things that have
happened in my life that I.
I wanted and didn't realize thatI was creating along the way and
just was like more hoping wascoming my way.
But I feel like you approachthings so differently.
So when you have a dream orsomething that you really want,
(06:30):
do you feel like it is so easyfor you to picture it and to
like, feel yourself there?
What what's it like for you whenyou have this desire?
Yeah, I think that there is anability to kind of project into
the future.
And be in that situation whereyou are living that thing that
(06:50):
you're hoping to be.
And I think that I can actually,when you talk about that, see
myself in that scenario and whatit would feel like or what I
think it would feel like, but atleast to feel like, yeah, I'm
there.
And there is a pathway to that.
I think that what I usuallydon't understand is what that
pathway is.
(07:12):
You know, And that's where itbecomes.
I can say it's kind of excitingin some ways it's, it's, it's
something that I've come torealize though, is that yes, I
can project and see myself.
In that future state.
In that thing that I'm hopingfor to come about.
Being there and actuallyhappening.
(07:34):
But.
As I've gone through lots ofthings that I've wanted to see
happen in my life, the pathway Irealized it's not for my
determining.
And sometimes it's frustrating.
But there also has to come alevel of acceptance.
Like the pathway is going to bewhat the pathway is.
If it's truly what you want,then it's not going to
(07:57):
necessarily always be easy.
Yeah, I that's actually funnybecause I remember, especially
when we were first married, wekind of had this idea.
I know you didn't really mentionthat you also did medical school
and, or a physician, but we justhad this idea of like where you
were going to go to school andwhere we were going to live.
And.
And it all changed.
It was like, God took this bigcosmic eraser and just totally
(08:18):
erased our plans.
But in the end, we actuallyended up with everything we
wanted.
We had the family we wanted, yougot into medical school.
Like all of the things that weactually had wanted to create in
our life came, but totallydifferent than we thought.
And I just remember.
At the beginning feeling sofrustrated, so discouraged.
(08:39):
So disappointed.
At setbacks.
And then finally, just when Ifinally was able to kind of
settle into it, just realizing,because we were far enough along
that I could look back and seeGod's hand and recognize like,
oh, It's all coming together.
Just in a better way than Icould have even imagined.
(09:00):
Really, even though it feltfrustrating at the time.
And I think that's reallyimportant what you said there
about.
You know, it comes together, butin God's way, And I think that
gods.
Got the master plan.
He sees all that.
He understands all and he does,I think often put in our minds.
(09:21):
The things that we should.
Be looking for in our lives.
Those goals, those aspirations,whether they're physical or
spiritual or temporal orwhatever.
I think that there is a planthere that is put there.
Bye.
Maybe ourselves in our premortalexistence in consultation with
our father in heaven.
(09:42):
And we design our lives.
And that design sometimesbecomes very strongly imprinted
on us and things that we thinkwe should be doing in our lives.
Because I do think that, youknow, like we make a plan.
And God has a plan for us, but Ithink we were co-creators in
that plan before we came toearth.
(10:02):
And.
Well, that's, that's somethingthat comes out in my patriarchal
blessing actually is.
That.
You know, I helped design thisplan for my life.
So I think there was, you know,certain things in my life that I
always felt like I was called todo.
And to be.
And one of those was being aphysician, you know, like when I
(10:22):
was very young, Even like secondgrade or third grade.
I remember my teacher asking me.
Um, saying, Hey, what do you,what do you want to be when you
grow up?
And I'm like, well, I want to bea doctor.
I was like, oh, is this, isthere somebody in your family?
Has doctors, your dad a doctor?
I'm like, no, I don't know anydoctors.
They're like, well, how do youknow you want to be that I'm
like, I.
(10:42):
Just want to be that.
And that never changed.
Like.
Never once.
Was that ever anything that Iever said, I want it to be
different than that.
And certainly, you know, like Ilook at that and think that was
always part of the plan for me,that I, that I was going to do
that because I always felt itvery, very strongly that it was
something in the direction Ishould go.
(11:04):
In my life now, the path todoing that.
I was no more challenging than Ithought it'd be.
And, um, You know, there's lotsof good lessons though.
But I learned through walkingthe path to get into medical
school and.
To get through medical schooland, you know, to determine what
I do in a specialty.
(11:24):
And there's been lots ofsurprises and generally they're
really good surprises.
But, um, lots of challengesalong the way as well.
Okay.
So you are, to me, you are a bigidea, man.
I always am like, oh, he's gotbig ideas.
Do you ever feel like I'm socrazy?
Or like, this is totally out ofreach or impossible or selfish?
(11:46):
Like, do you ever get thisnegative?
Self-talk when you have an ideaor does it just feel like, oh,
this is it.
And I'm just like going for it.
Like, I feel like I get negativechatter.
Hmm.
You know, I don't really get alot of negative chatter.
I'm your negative chatter?
Sometimes you might be mynegative chatter.
(12:07):
But I don't want to actuallyproduce a lot of negative
chatter.
I bought the things that I feelare actually the things that
should be doing.
You know, there.
There are things where I'm like,I might have this grandiose idea
or this.
Thing.
That would be one.
Wouldn't this be awesome.
You know, like I remember like,oh, wouldn't it be awesome to be
(12:28):
like a professional tennisplayer?
Yeah.
And there's a part of me though.
That's like, Hey, that's notreally your path.
You know, But for those thingsthat I truly do feel are my
path.
No, there's there's, there's nonegative chatter.
Wow.
That's theirs.
I guess there's just a realbelief that that is the path.
(12:52):
And because it is what I'msupposed to do.
It's going to work out.
Okay.
So tell me this, because therewas a time when you and your
brothers were looking at buyinga property together and you went
all in on it.
And I really believed in myheart, it was 100% going to
happen because Jared was all inon it.
But it did not materialize.
(13:13):
So.
Like, how do you make sense ofthat?
Like what do you think about it?
Like, but it didn't work out.
What's your thoughts about it?
Like, was it hard for you?
Was it shocking to you?
When you're disappointed it was,I.
You know what, like this is thatthat's an interesting
experience.
(13:33):
And actually there was goodthings to learn from that.
And I think sometimes, you know,like there's things.
I talked about like the thingsthat we, that we know we want
that are in line with reallywhat the grant design and plan
is.
And was this one of those thingsthat was in line with one of the
grit with really what the granddesign and plan is.
And I guess in the end I couldsay, I don't know, obviously it
(13:55):
wasn't because it didn't happen.
But there was a time in therewhere this was truly something
that I was working hard for.
No, the other side of the coinis, you know, if, if I had been
left solely up to me, weprobably would have had the
property because when it came tobidding and stuff, I told my
brothers, I'm like, no, this iswhat we need to bid.
If we really want this.
I mean, cause it was a group andwe had different opinions.
(14:17):
We ended up cutting, goingmiddle of the road.
And it didn't work out.
But my thoughts on it were, Hey,this is what we have to do for
me to make this happen.
And I guess that's sometimeswhat happens when you're in
relationship with people andtheir designs and ideas.
Aren't the same.
And maybe it wasn't the rightthing for them.
So the interesting thing,though, that came out of that.
(14:40):
Was, I remember really.
You know, Telling God, Hey, Iwant to see this happen.
And, um, And really kind ofbeing quite prayerful about
that.
And having some level of about,you know, is this going to work
out or not?
And, um, I remember.
Praying about this and thishaving this kind of.
(15:01):
Overwhelming feeling.
And these thoughts come into myhand head.
Sorry.
That God said, he's like, Hey.
That's all right.
I know you, I know your familyand I got you.
And.
That wasn't him saying?
Yeah, you're going to get this.
And I recognize that at thetime.
(15:22):
But I did realize that.
This is okay.
Whatever happens was meant tohappen.
And the outcome is okay.
And so you can be at peace thatthe outcome is understood by me,
your father in heaven.
And that's all right.
And so when the outcome came,not in our favor, Because we're
(15:43):
in this bidding war.
Which wouldn't have been abidding war.
It was.
But when it didn't come out inmy, in, in, in the, in the, in
our favor.
I actually had a lot of peaceabout it because I had that
experience where, you know, Godwas saying to me in my mind,
like, I know you and what youwant.
And I got you and your family.
(16:03):
That's okay.
So when it didn't happen, I'mlike, it's okay.
This is what God intended.
And, um, you know, he hassomething better or different in
store for us.
And so he sees all, he knows allhe understands all.
And so, you know, what willhappen will be what's meant and
intended for our family.
I think sometimes the challengethat.
(16:25):
We have is really learning tosubmit our will to God's will.
And not try to.
You know, tell God what's bestfor us.
You know, and that's somethingthat's always kind of tricky to
do.
And I feel like, you know, whenwe have our desires in line with
what God desires for us, Thereis a moment where you can feel
(16:45):
that.
And, you know, sometimes Godputs stuff in front of you that
you didn't really expect.
And you're like, oh, is thiswhat I need to be doing?
And.
He'll be like, yeah, this iswhat you need to be doing.
For this kind of external pushor pressure to.
Embark on a different type ofjourney.
That you weren't reallyexpecting yourself to embark on.
Totally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(17:06):
And so right.
You know, I'd say like, that'sgoing to New Zealand.
And it was one of those things.
Where.
God kind of put it into my mindthat this is what I need to do.
And I really felt a push.
Externally to move towards that.
And, um, do you ever feel likeyour.
(17:28):
That you ever get in your head alittle bit, like I'm pushing
through the store no matterwhat, like, I want it so bad.
Like, do you ever have to kindof catch yourself?
Pushing too hard for something.
Or is it just like, no, I, Ijust push hard because that's
how I get what I want.
Um, I think that when it's.
Th there is like kind of a pointwhere you're.
(17:51):
Were you doing something and youhave to kind of say, All right.
Is this not happening becauseit's not supposed to happen.
Or is it not happening because.
I haven't done.
What's required to have ithappen yet.
You know, most I I'm a very firmbeliever in the law of
sacrifice.
And we have to be puttingwilling to put on the alter
(18:13):
something.
To get something better.
And there's a sacrificerequired.
This is an eternal principle tobring about really amazing, good
things in your life.
It will require sacrifice.
Of some sort.
And figuring out what thatsacrifice is.
It can be a challenge.
No.
But on the other side of thecoin is.
(18:33):
You know, is it really what Godintends for us?
And when we have in our heartsthat we truly want to follow
God.
And we want to be able to do hiswill even more and above are our
will.
And he understands that therewill be sometimes an impediment
to you succeeding in the thing.
That is not truly what Godunderstands is best for you.
(18:56):
And so I do think that God.
You know, doesn't.
Give us what we don't want.
And if what we want is his willto be manifest in our lives.
Sometimes that means he's goingto withhold stuff that he knows.
It's not going to be far best.
The trick is sometimes figuringout well.
(19:18):
Is it not happening because Ihaven't put the right sacrifice
on the alter yet.
Or is it not happening becauseit's not, what's intended for me
to have, and I've already toldGod.
That first and foremost, I wanthis will manifest in my life.
Right.
Do you, do you feel like, like,you know, I also sometimes have
days where I'm like, why is thisso hard?
(19:39):
And then I realized like, ohright, I'm trying to do this all
on my own.
Do you have times where you feellike, oh, I'm forgetting.
Like I gotta align myself.
I gotta align myself to.
With God to a different energyhere.
And do you like, do you feellike you ever get.
Kind of in the throws of justlike wanting it and going for
(19:59):
it.
That you like, oh right.
I need to realign myself here.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
There's obviously times whereit's like, okay, I know this is,
this feels like the right pathto be on.
But things aren't quitehappening.
The way I expect them to happen.
I'll put them to happen.
(20:20):
And so.
When that happens.
I look at it and say, Oh, I needto probably.
Question myself.
Am I not involving God enough?
And do I need to realign thisgoal a little bit?
Not really realign thedestination, but the path there.
(20:40):
So it involves Cod more.
And that he becomes an equalpartner right in this.
Do you feel like you have alwaysbeen kind of the psych
goal-focused lots of desireddriven person?
Or do you feel like it'ssomething that you kind of
developed over time as youstarted to just get older?
Like, do you feel like it justwas.
(21:02):
Uh, part of you.
I think that.
Um, There's always been someelement of.
Wanting to.
Accomplish some things that wereimportant to me.
You know, I always wanted to bea doctor.
(21:22):
I always wanted to get marriedand have a family.
And.
You know, there's some bigpicture ideas that I'd always
wanted to see kind of happen.
And as for like, Minutiae goals.
In and day out.
This is what I want to do.
I'm not always the best at that.
You know, There's there's kindof the treadmill of life that
(21:46):
you step on and it's like, allright, I'm going to.
Do this today and tomorrow it'sgoing to rinse and repeat.
And back at work.
But, um, but you've done some,like, I mean, even just like,
I'm going to go off.
Sugar or for an eternity or.
You know, you just you've donesome things like that, where
(22:08):
it's like, You just get it inyour head and.
Just like, go for it.
It's like you don't even careabout the discomfort.
Yeah, I think there's somebenefit to trying to put
yourself in a situation whereyou are doing something that's a
little challenging.
And requires you to.
(22:28):
Suffer a little.
Sorry, everybody.
Suffering mandatory apparentlyto reach your dreams.
Suffering.
We're sacrificing or whateveryou want to call it.
Yeah.
There's work required.
And.
Um, If you want to call itsuffering, you want to call it
(22:48):
pain.
Or discomfort.
There there's that element ofthat, which requires.
Which is, I guess, really arequirement for the growth
that's needed to get you to thenext level.
You know, we've talked about.
Growing pains as kids.
And those are very physicalmanifestations that you have of
(23:08):
an experience that.
You know, seems to be.
Linked to your growth.
And it's uncomfortable.
Yeah, but would you really wantto stay small forever?
Or would you be able to, youknow, manage that pain of
growth?
Two.
You know, gain yourself andstature.
(23:29):
And we can look at that as avery physical realm.
When we're children and we'retrying to grow into adolescents
and grow into adulthoodphysically.
Yeah.
But you know, when it comes to,what do I want to be in?
Do I want to grow?
In my life, in my relationships,in these things that are
important to me.
(23:49):
Am I willing to go through thatgrowing pain, which is going to
be uncomfortable.
And voluntary, right?
Voluntary.
It's a choice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes.
Yes.
Sometimes.
Life comes at you and you'reforced to grow.
Yeah.
And I think that's part of God'sdesign as well.
(24:10):
Is that.
You know, we signed up for thiswith the idea that, you know, we
understood that there would besome challenges.
And.
That's okay.
That's the challenge has come.
And I think they're uniquelytailored for us.
To help us grow into the personthat God intends us to be.
Yeah.
Okay.
So.
There's a lot of women that feellike they aren't given a lot of
(24:33):
permission to desire things, orit's kind of like, here are the
things you can want.
And that's kind of what you candesire.
And they look at men and feellike men are given permission to
desire anything and everything.
Do you, do you feel like that istrue?
No.
(24:53):
Okay.
Yeah.
Don't tell me about it.
I think that it's a lie thatpeople buy into.
And I think that's anunfortunate lie.
I think that, uh, No men andwomen have in this society here
anyways, a lot of equality ofopportunity.
And I think that's a blessing.
(25:14):
I think that, uh, we sometimeslook around and try to find
excuses for why things aren'thappening the way we want them
to happen.
But ultimately in the end.
I think that it comes down towhat are you willing to
sacrifice to get what you want?
And.
Um, but I think, I think whatsome women find is that it's
(25:37):
like, I have to like, Give upsome, I, I'm not like.
Uh, good girl.
All right.
It's.
I'm giving up some.
Kind of goodness.
Goodness.
Too.
Want more than maybe society hastold me I can have.
Do you know what I mean?
And I don't know if that existsfor boys, for men.
(25:58):
The same as it seems to fromwomen.
And I think it, it bleeds into.
All sorts of areas of theirlife.
I remember taking JenniferFinlayson fights the art of
desire course, which you shouldall take.
It's so good.
But, you know, she really doestalk in there a lot about this
(26:19):
psych.
You know, many women havesuppressed desire because they
need to be selfless.
They need to be others focused.
They need to be only wanting.
Things that, you know, they onlywant motherhood only want to be
a wife and not because anythingis wrong with those desires.
(26:41):
W when I was asked in elementaryschool, what I wanted it to be,
it was like, I want to be a mom.
And I never changed that either.
And I don't feel bad about that.
But I certainly do see thatthere is kind of this.
I don't know.
It's not because opportunityisn't there.
It is there, but there's alsothis messaging of like, A good
(27:01):
woman.
Is kind of desireless she'sdesirable.
Right.
Like she needs to be desirable.
But she herself.
Is kind of desire less.
And do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I think that, um, we doget a lot of cultural messaging.
(27:21):
And, uh, messages from societyfrom.
For both genders.
That can be.
Very.
Uh, counterproductive to asucceeding in.
You know what our true desiresare.
And what do you think it is formen?
What do you think the messagingis?
That is hard.
Really.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's the messaging.
(27:42):
That's hard.
Um, I don't have to think aboutthat a little bit.
'cause one thing that I think isa little bit of like, You
should, you should be superambitious.
You should be almost a littlecutthroat.
You should be.
You know, you should know whatyou should know, what you want
(28:03):
and go for it.
Right.
And I feel like there's a lot ofimpatience about young adult
boys who don't know whatthey're, what they want to do.
Maybe over young adult girls whodon't know what they want to do.
Um, and maybe that's not totallyaccurate.
Yeah, I think that there's someexpectations that, uh, Do you
(28:24):
get put out there?
And whether they're fair or not,I guess, you know, that's up to
the individual to decide.
I don't know if it's necessarilyfair for other people to put a
lot of expectations on peoplethat they don't know.
But.
No.
Th there are definitely culturalexpectations that come through
for men.
You know, I can think about, Ican.
(28:46):
And it's not that all of themare bad, to be honest with you.
You know, in some of theexpectations.
Came, you know, are, are veryintimate in, in a more culture
of a family.
For example.
Right.
And I can think about thingsthat were expected.
Me of me as a child and wherethese things fair all the time.
I don't know.
(29:07):
Well, I think there's probablygood things and bad things about
it.
I remember.
You know, like saying, Hey, my,my dad's saying, go get yourself
a job and go pay for your, yourtextbooks in high school.
And that's not myresponsibility.
That's shores.
And.
Get your own clothes.
And if you're going to want acar, you're going to buy it.
And.
And that's okay.
(29:27):
You know, like there was this.
Culture of learning to beself-sufficient.
And some people might look atthat and say, well, you know,
that's not really great for, toput all that responsibility on a
teenager.
And there might be somelegitimacy to that.
But on the other hand, There issome legitimacy to, to learn how
(29:48):
to be self-sufficient.
And, you know, there are lots ofexpectations that are put on to
people, especially within thechurch too.
And it's not that those are allbad.
The challenge comes to, youknow, how do you rectify if you
feel like you're falling short?
Of an expectation.
And the other question is, youknow, where's that expectation
(30:09):
coming from.
Is that coming from?
You know, a source that doesn'treally have any business putting
that on you.
Right.
Or is it coming from a sourcethat does.
And ultimately, you know, Ithink you have to really search
out in your heart prayerfully.
This is something that Godexpects me to do.
Okay.
Tell me this then.
(30:30):
This is.
Do you feel like there arecertain things.
That maybe aren't as sociallyacceptable for a man to desire
or maybe anyone to desire.
I I've talked to women.
There are certainly things wherethey, they struggle with.
There doesn't seem to be asocial acceptance of.
(30:51):
Like it, it's good to want this,but not as good to want that.
Do you feel like men are in thatquandary?
Sometimes themselves as well ofthere are socially acceptable
things for me to desire.
And so when I go for them,people applaud me and then other
things that people are a littlebit like, are you.
Sure.
Are you crazy?
Yeah, that's really dependent onthe society that you keep.
(31:15):
Because I could look out andsay, Hey it's is it socially
acceptable for me to.
You know, Work and.
You know, Just be a workaholicand.
Bringing as much mess as muchfortunate as I can at whatever
expense and climb the ladder of,you know, whatever corporation.
(31:36):
Or, you know, Aspire to thesepositions of power and prestige.
And for some people.
They might be like, yeah.
Yeah, of course you should wantthat.
You should want to, you know,climb as high as you possibly
can in that realm.
And.
You know, some other societymight be like, Hey.
What are you doing?
(31:57):
You know, there's an expense towhat you're doing.
Yes.
I see, and they might be like,you look at all the neglect that
you're having.
You're, you're missing out onyour, your wife and your kids,
and then growing up and spendingtime with them.
So it really depends on thesociety that you keep and the
voices that you're listening to.
Yeah.
No.
So there are expectations eitherway.
(32:18):
No, because you can make theargument.
As well that, and we talkedabout.
The aspiring to really great perprofessional success.
Okay to aspire a greatprofessional success.
Is going to cost something.
And somebody might from onesociety say, what are you doing?
That's horrible.
(32:38):
And the other society that.
You know, He holds those valuesdear, or maybe we're trying
those.
For whatever reason that samearena.
Or like, yeah.
Push as hard as you can at theexpense of whatever.
Yeah.
Whereas the other society wouldbe like, no, Step back.
You know, you don't need to dothis.
All right.
(32:59):
And I think that in the end, youreally have to listen to the
spirit.
As to what direction you have togo.
Yeah.
And I think that.
You know, God will speak to us.
About.
How hard we have to push themone direction.
You know, And there's messagesthat come.
You know, like I remember God.
(33:19):
I don't remember my dreams veryoften.
But there are a few dreams.
I really remember.
And they're messages for me.
And I'm quite confident of that.
And one of these dreams I had, Iremember that.
I's in this race and it's kindof like on boogie boards in this
river.
And.
As racing against all thesepeople.
And I was good at this race andit seemed like I got out of
(33:42):
control and it's hitting thesewaves and this river and
balancing, balancing all of asudden.
Just flying through the air.
And my car will know, and thenlike, I'm going to crash, but
this wind catches me.
And it just places me gentlydown on the side of this cliff.
And I looked down.
I can see the river and I'mlike, oh, I'm okay.
(34:03):
Uh, cool.
That was.
I was lucky I was going to crashon the rocks somewhere, you
know, cause I just got launchedout of this river.
But I was really doing good inthe race.
I was like, and I liked beinggood in the race.
That felt good.
But on the side of the mountainthere.
It was very calm.
And peaceful.
(34:23):
I looked down on the river andlike, the race is still going
on.
I'm like, okay.
Got to get back in the race.
At all sudden my father's besideme.
And he looks at me and he says,son, You don't have to go back
there.
And.
Well, that was a strong messageto me because I realized, Hey.
(34:47):
Yeah, you have someresponsibilities here.
But the purpose of this life,isn't the race.
And so there's a check andbalance to things that come in.
We're willing to listen to Godand his messages for us.
Yeah.
So no getting back to yourquestion.
Yeah, it's really, depending onthe society that you're
(35:07):
listening to as to whether theirexpectations.
Or her fair or not for you?
And you really have to kind offigure out.
Ultimately what that plan Godhas for you and your life.
And.
What the things that areimportant that he wants you to
accomplish are.
And we can get distracted veryeasily by listening to society.
(35:28):
And the messages there that, um,You know, Seem promising.
But don't deliver the peace andjoy and happiness that will come
if we're truly following whatGod wants us to do.
So good.
Okay.
So, because as I always say onhere, If nothing else, I have
(35:49):
these podcasts that I can sharewith my children.
Um, even if nobody ever listensto them.
So.
What would you want to tell ourchildren or teach them that
hopefully my listeners canbenefit from as well.
To help them succeed at dreamingand desiring and going after
what they want.
(36:11):
Yeah, I think the dreaming isawesome.
And I think it's.
Really great to have dreams.
Um, I think her life is reallykind of empty.
If there's not a dream there.
And.
I think that, you know, we haveto give ourselves permission to
dream.
No, it's, it's kind of astarting point to building
something.
(36:32):
And being curious about what isit?
I truly want my life.
What do I want it to look like?
And kind of going down thesedifferent ideas.
Well, what if I did this orthat?
And kind of striking onsomething that feels good.
And I think that, uh, you know,when you strike on that thing,
that feels right.
That you start.
(36:52):
Working towards it.
If it's not the right thing.
No, I do think there'll beimpediments that are
insurmountable.
That will come up.
Yeah.
No.
The insurmountable.
Impediments to come, but.
You just always have to kind ofgo back to God and just say,
what is it that you want me todo?
(37:14):
And if it is something that I'mstill supposed to do, even
though it's hard.
I'm willing to keep working atit.
Just kind of show me what it is.
I need to sacrifice here and howto include you in this decision
that my life.
So that we're able to, co-createsomething that's incredible.
And lasting and in the end,ultimately, terminal.
(37:35):
Yeah.
I, I feel so much more as I'veworked on this myself.
Just so much more of just whenyou allow yourself to desire.
And I've had times where Iactually have to require myself
to actually step into desire.
And when I do that, I feel morelike myself.
(37:56):
Right.
Desires are an expression ofyou.
Right.
Like saying, I want this it's sodifferent than I need something.
Like I need food.
I need shelter.
I would say that those basicneeds, but just wanting
something just because you wantit because, and we don't all
want the same things.
That's how we know it's kind ofan expression of us.
(38:19):
Right.
Yeah.
And so I feel like that is thething.
And that's the reason why I dokind of want people to be able
to.
Just allow themselves.
A glimmer of what they desireand what I'd want for my kids is
just think about what youdesire.
And like you said, dream aboutit.
(38:41):
Let yourself want it.
Because it is, even if itdoesn't come to pass.
It is you.
Kind of honoring you andlearning about you and being
you.
I don't know.
Do you, does that make sense?
Yeah.
There is a, uh, Another line outof my patriarchal blessing that
says the greatest desires ofyour heart can be yours.
(39:05):
And.
There's a couple of things thatstand out there for me is like
our desires can be great.
Yeah.
They should be great.
I know I'm a little bit of asmaller dreamer than Jared, but
I'm getting better.
Have great designers.
Dream big.
It's fun.
It honestly is fun.
Yeah to dream big, but thegreatest desires of your heart.
(39:28):
I think the other thing there'slike, uh, have great desires.
And they don't that certainly agreat desire doesn't necessarily
mean a big desire, but it meansit's something great.
You know, But it's of yourheart.
And so you have to understandyour heart.
Yeah.
And if you don't understand whatyou hurt really wants.
You know, it's going to be hardto figure out what that great
(39:50):
desire is.
Yeah.
There is a journey of kind oftrying to understand yourself.
And understand who you are.
And understand.
You know what that better partof you really wants.
And really needs.
We often feed.
You know that.
Uh, not so great part of us.
(40:12):
There's definitely a dichotomyto us.
All of us as individuals.
Yeah.
And sometimes we feed that.
Uh, part of a set isn't reallythat great.
And that part of us that is kindof selfish and self centered
and.
Maybe lazy.
Procrastinates.
No, you, you call me.
You have, I know you have a namefor me.
(40:32):
My twin brother.
And it's true.
Sometimes we procrastinate.
And that is an unfortunate, youknow, shortcoming of myself that
sometimes.
Crops up.
And I recognize that, and that'snot the great part of me.
You know, that's, that's not theheart that needs to be there.
(40:53):
And there's a purifying thatcomes to us through Christ that
allows us to, uh, really createa great life.
You know, Um, I think that, youknow, the other thing that I'd
say is when your desire.
Is truly.
The desire of your hurt, yourpure heart, the hurt that is
given to you by God.
(41:15):
Um, you know, he talks abouthe'll take that heart of stone
and replace it.
With a fleshy heart.
That kind of heart.
You know, the heart that issubmissive to God and really
wanting to do his will.
When you have that as yourdesire.
You unlock the powers of heavento really help you succeed in
(41:36):
your dreams.
And you get that enabling powerwhen you're following God's
direct directions for you.
You know, I can think about whenI became the chief of anesthesia
and that was something that Ifelt called, directed me to do.
Um, I really do.
I wasn't going to apply for thatjob.
I looked at it, but that's aheadache.
(41:57):
That's going to be.
A lot of problems and as wellaware of the problems that were
going to come my way, if I didthat.
But I couldn't deny that that'swhat God wanted me to do.
And so I applied for it.
And he gave me enough.
Of his power.
To be able to persist in doingwhat I needed to do.
(42:18):
In that job.
And it wasn't always fun.
But, you know, I'd havecolleagues, like, how do you,
how are you doing all this thatyou're doing?
And.
Yeah.
Cause they know what my life waslike, and I throw this huge roll
on top of it.
And I'm like, that's it back andthink about it.
And I'm like, you know what itis.
It's it's the power of God'sspirit.
(42:42):
You know, his strength becomesyour strength when you're doing
his well.
When you're following hisdirections in your life.
So figure out what God wants youto do.
You know, have a pure heart.
Understand what your heartwants.
I understand that, you know, thethings that you're going for.
Are the things that God wantsyou to go for.
You have that belief.
(43:03):
And you work towards thosethings.
And you're willing to submit towhat God asked you to do.
You know, even if it's scary,Then you're going to have his
power behind you, and you'regoing to see amazing things
happen in your life because Godis amazing.
He's incredible.
And he can make anything happen.
He thinks bigger than we think Icould have named this episode.
(43:25):
Testify, fight Jared's stuff.
It's awesome.
So good.
But tell me this.
I think some people getjudgmental about certain
desires, right?
They think.
You know, Like in my opinion, Ithink there's a lot of people
that are very famous fordifferent reasons.
Inventing something, being anactor, being a singer.
You know, and, and I think God'shand is in that.
(43:48):
That I think some people feellike if my desire is to be a
famous singer.
That seems.
It's selfish or shallow or notworthy of maybe God's approval.
Do you know what I mean?
I think.
It can be kind of, we get in ourhead what we think.
(44:08):
Uh, an acceptable desire to Godwould be.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's dangerous totry to think, you know, the will
and mind of God.
Especially when it comes tosomeone else's life.
Yeah.
I think that, uh, You know,there is a plan.
(44:28):
That God has for all of hischildren.
And that plan may be some kindof.
No famous individual.
And I think that, you know, theother truth is that.
God is always trying to give uswhat we truly want.
And if we're willing tosacrifice for that.
And we'll get it.
Sometimes even if it's not thething, that's the best for us.
(44:49):
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, I had a recent.
Uh, interaction with a newfriend of mine.
And he was telling me about hisjourney to God.
And, um, he was, you know,telling me that, uh, he was
sitting there and.
And living a life that didn'thave a lot of God in it.
And, uh, God's.
(45:10):
No set in his mind.
Is this really what you want.
Cause if it is.
And I'll leave you alone.
If this is really what you want.
No, we get what we want.
Yeah.
Gabby Bernstein says theuniverse.
Always says yes.
To what.
We focus on and desire.
(45:31):
Even sometimes.
To our own Detra, our owndetriment.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
Well, I really, reallyappreciate your insights, your
vulnerability.
You've been very vulnerable.
And, um, so appreciate that.
I have to tell you all that,Jared is the reason that my
podcast is called.
(45:52):
Want to want it.
And I knew I was supposed tostart a podcast.
I was afraid.
So when God speaks to Jared,he's like, yes.
And when God speaks to me, I'mlike, no, And so I knew I was
supposed to do a podcast and Iwas so afraid to do it.
Okay.
I was talking to Jared and Isaid, I don't know what to call
it.
And he said, why don't you callit, want to want it?
(46:13):
And I hated it.
As soon as he said it, it feltso personal.
It felt like.
I don't know.
I was like, no, I'm not doingthat.
And we were hiking along.
Through this little forest, andby the time we'd been hiking for
about 10 minutes, I was like,you know what?
That is the name.
That is what it is supposed tobe called.
(46:33):
So thank you, Jared.
I'm so glad you finally got tocome on to what to want it.
And be my guest.
Thank you, Jane, when, um, Youknow, so incredibly amazed at
the hard work that you've doneputting together a podcast.
Um, you know, it's, it's beenamazing to watch you do this and
to create something that, uh, isvery memorable and it's helped a
(46:55):
lot of people.
And I'm grateful for yourexample of, you know, doing the
journey.
See something come out thatrequired work and effort, but
was something that you weresupposed to do.
And I'm sure you can look backand say, you know, the journey
wasn't quite as, as I envisionedit.
There is lots of differencesthan I thought it would be.
(47:17):
But the destination was whereGod intended me to be.
Yeah.
And I just think, uh, you know,that's, um, something that I see
a lot in my life when I'm goingfor things that are.
I think I'm supposed to be goingfor.
And, um, Um, God has a plan andthere's a journey for us.
(47:38):
We'll be okay on that journey.
As long as we just keep ontrusting in God and persisting
along our path.
Yeah.
I agree.
I agree.
But again, thanks for yourexample.
And she has a wonderful wife.
She is she's amazing.
And editing that out at the end.
And just please don't.
And I love her deeply and, um,I'm really blessed to have her,
(48:01):
and I'm really proud of whatshe's done here.
And I know that it's helped alot of people and it will
continue to help people becauselives in the internet land.
It never goes away now.
That's right.
One day, I'm going to hearmyself talking about something I
never spoke about, but someone'scompiled and.
For AI has made some speech fromme that.
(48:22):
That's right.
Just taken out all these clipsfrom my podcast and created
something.
If I was important enough.
Okay, here is such a thing thatanyways, thanks so much, Jared.
I hope you all have a fantasticweek.
I hope your summer is goingamazing and is beautiful.
Talk to you next week.
Bye.
Thanks for listening today.
(48:43):
If you like what you hear on thepodcast, and you'd like to learn
more, feel free to head over tomy website.
Jamielynn Stephan coaching.comor find me on Instagram or
Facebook at jamielynn Stephancoaching.
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