December 3, 2023 • 41 mins
Fighting personal demons and emerging victorious is a journey I, Loren Johnson, know all too well. War of the Mind's latest episode is a testament to this relentless pursuit of resilience, as I share my authentic story of overcoming addiction and mental health hurdles. It's a raw narrative that highlights the power of turning setbacks into stepping stones for growth, nurturing wisdom, and the undeniable importance of never giving up. Hear how I braved my way through life's tumultuous tides to find purpose amidst the chaos.
Shifting gears, we then delve into the significant role decision-making plays in cultivating resilience and personal development. We shed light on the art of embracing failure as a catalyst for growth, the necessity of identifying recovery strategies, and the importance of a robust support system to conquer adversity. We also talk about the profound benefits of certified service dogs in managing PTSD, anxiety, and panic attacks, the complex journey of healing from trauma, and the essence of setting boundaries. Lastly, I encourage you to explore our website, ljvoiceproject.com, for additional resources, or to engage with us for speaking opportunities. So, buckle up for an episode brimming with valuable insights to help you navigate life's obstacles with unwavering strength and resilience.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
And welcome back here on another show of War of the
Mind.
I'm your host, lauren Johnson,and today we're going to be
covering from the struggles tostrength, embracing resilience
and finding purpose.
You know there's different waysto look at resilience and
(00:27):
overcoming adversity.
You know everybody in our livesare going to have setbacks and
it's how we deal with oursetbacks is what's going to
define us who we are and it'sgoing to show growth.
And from setbacks it allows usto learn.
(00:49):
It allows us to grow anddevelop our inner strength and
character, also along the way,developing wisdom that we didn't
have.
Before Growing up, I firmlythought failure wasn't an option
(01:13):
and that's just kind of whatwas taught to me and it took a
while for me to adjust torealizing that it was OK to fail
and I'm OK with it today.
And you know you might get alittle frustrated when you do
(01:35):
fail.
That's OK.
Frustration is, you know, a keycomponent of the results of a
setback.
It's how we handle thesituation after we go through
the setback.
So you know, in my 20-someyears of experience and
(02:07):
overcoming adversity andresilience, that goes in mental
health, addiction recovery andpersonal growth.
You know I'm here basically onthis show to inspire, educate
and empower the audience toembrace resilience and find
(02:32):
strength in the face ofchallenges and show you guys
that you're not alone.
And I know you know there's alot of us out there that know
we're not alone, but there'salso a select few that you know
sit at home thinking they're theonly ones going through this
(02:52):
and they're wrong.
You know how can one individualfight the tail off and overcome
an obstacle, only to haveanother setback and still
overcome it, while you haveanother individual say the exact
(03:14):
same stature, what you thoughtwas, the same mentality, and
they'll throw themselves a pityparty and they'll be stuck right
in that situation and stuck fora long time.
And that's where there's alwaysdiscussion of whether being
(03:37):
resilient can be taught or ifit's something that we just
either you have it or you don'thave it.
My personal take on it is Ibelieve you either have it or
you don't have it.
I don't believe it's hereditary.
I do believe you can learn tobe resilient to a certain extent
(04:04):
, but as far as being resilientand consistently fighting back
and not giving up, some of thatstuff, you know, just cannot be
taught.
But it definitely can belearned.
And one thing I've learned asI've aged is I'm constantly,
(04:30):
constantly learning and tryingto pick up new ideas, new
thoughts, just to better myself.
I refuse to settle and that'sanother key component of being
resilient is you refuse tosettle.
A little background about myself.
(04:51):
You know I've had my sharesetbacks.
How will I, some might know,sexually assaulted as a kid on
two different occasions by twodifferent people.
You know that was a setback fora long time and I could have
(05:16):
laid in my pity for it for therest of my life.
And I've chosen not to Chosen,to put a voice out there for an
individual that you know doesn'thave one or have the
(05:37):
connections From there.
You know I wrestled all the wayup through college and I would
have multiple injuries and Icould have been down on the
first one.
I mean, most people would havebeen down on the first torn
(05:57):
shoulder, and this isn'tbragging or anything, but I
refused to go out on terms ofSomebody else.
I always had it in my head thatwhen I walked off the wrestling
mat and decided I was going tobe done wrestling, it was going
(06:20):
to be on my terms, the way Iwanted it.
And you know there was yearswhere I just came out of my
elbow, shoulder and beginning ofthe season and I was still back
on the map by the end of theseason because I refused to give
up.
And that's the mentality thatwe try to teach our kids today.
(06:43):
We live in a society todaywhere it's so easy for our youth
to give up and you know, ohwell, it's just how it is.
Well, it doesn't have to bethat way, unless you want it
that way, you know.
(07:11):
Trying to think some otheradversity that I faced Just I've
been in two car crashes,suffered two traumatic brain
injuries, came back from both ofthem and healed fully, but
(07:33):
healed as best as I, you know,figure, it's the best it's going
to get and I'm okay with that.
The one thing that really suckedout of the whole deal is going
from, you know, just to have atraumatic brain injury.
(07:57):
But to have a traumatic braininjury and then causing you to
turn to addiction really put ahuge setback in my life and has
for a long time, I can honestlysay now I've been sober from
(08:19):
alcohol for almost five yearsand sober from heroin for going
on three years.
But it's just, it's stuff likethat that people don't realize
that can be taken away from youand I never would have thought
in my wildest dreams one momentI would have been a cop and the
(08:42):
next, down the road, a heroinaddict.
That's the effects of damage toa brain and I'm not making
excuses because it is a choice Idecided to go with and
(09:05):
struggled for a long time withit and caused pain to my family,
caused pain to my friends,pushed people away, pushed my
kids away.
It it was the demon in mycloset.
And well, I would, you know,have multiple overdoses, almost
(09:34):
12 of them where I washospitalized.
I would.
I have about 20 of them at homewhere I didn't go to the
hospital.
I would have a couple where Iwas induced into a coma and that
was during COVID, and I would.
(09:55):
That was when, covid, youcouldn't have visitors.
There's nothing worse thanwaking up from a coma and having
nobody there and talk aboutfeeling alone and you know you
think you're dead already andyou wake up to an empty room.
I see, I see you.
(10:19):
And the biggest thing thatalways separated me from another
drug addict is I refuse tocarry that label of being a drug
addict.
I always thought I was betterthan that did I.
(10:43):
Was I a drug addict, yeah, butin my eyes I knew I could
overcome it and I knew I couldbeat it because I had already
beat alcohol.
And so, looking back, I I've alot of regret, but if I sat and
(11:08):
lived in my regret and pity andfelt sorry for myself, I would
get nowhere in life movingforward and that's kind of what
we're preaching here today withresilience.
You know, I can't imagine thepain I put family members, my
(11:33):
wife, my dad, having to find medead and having to revive me or
attempt to revive me and thenbeing carted off and I'm
thinking I'm already gone.
It's just, it's reckless andit's a road I wish I never would
(11:59):
have crossed.
But it happened and it's what'smade me who I am today, which
is made me into a better person,a better father.
That you know to my kids.
I pushed them away.
(12:20):
I haven't had the chance toshare every detail with them
because there's just a situationwith their mom and I and what
she's told them.
There's two different thingsfrom what's really happened.
(12:40):
And you know, I just look at itas the kids will find out one
day when they get older andthey'll figure it out.
They're smart, they'reresilient and you know, kids are
tough and I just pray that theycan see through the lies and
(13:07):
understand addiction, mentalhealth, especially nowadays with
how prevalent it is.
I've setbacks, I've suffered.
I've had a cute liver failure,just kind of came out of the
(13:28):
blue, and this was after I quitdrinking for some time.
I've also had a stroke and myleft eye last a year ago.
You know these are all thingsthat aren't minor setbacks.
(13:51):
These are what some wouldconsider major setbacks and I
haven't sat down one time andfelt sorry for myself.
I still continue to have thedrive to better myself, still
(14:12):
continue to want and be hungryfor more, and I know there's
gonna be more setbacks in life.
I mean crepes.
I just filed to get my kidsback and I know, during the
course of trying to get themback, I know there's gonna be
setbacks and I had to preparemyself for that.
(14:35):
You know the stroke and liverfailure and the overdoses
(14:55):
they've caused a profoundinfluence on my perspective and
motivation to change.
I mean, like we said, some canuse it as a pity party, others
can use it to fuel and motivatethemselves to get better and
(15:17):
I've always been one to take mysetbacks and use math's fire to
overcome these lucky setbacksthat I get to deal with in life.
And we're all gonna do withthem and we some have worse than
(15:39):
others, some have just minorones.
It's just the cards were doubtnow, Evolving perspectives and
(16:03):
failure of growth, reflecting onthe initial belief that failure
was not an option and how itwas affected.
Decision making was a huge partof growing up.
But at the same time, it wassomething I didn't know was
(16:29):
going on at the time because,like I said, everything was easy
at that point in my life.
I didn't have to try that hardat wrestling or football, I
didn't have to try that hard.
Academically, I would stillhave eight allays.
But the direction, you know, ittook me when I did start having
(16:59):
these major setbacks wasdetrimental because I didn't
know how to deal with it.
And thank God I happen to beone of them people that just is
resilient in their own skin,because I could have easily fell
(17:21):
victim to feeling sorry formyself, just like others do.
You know, there's always thatturning point when you realize
that failure was a natural partof life and that failure gives
(17:52):
you the opportunity for growthand not too many of us get that
chance.
Not too many of us get tooverdose and die, be pronounced
dead and still live to talkabout it.
Not many of us get to get incar accidents and live to talk
(18:16):
about it.
So I mean those failures haveshaped my life and changed the
course of direction, of whereI'm headed, because from where I
was just being a cop to helpingpeople to where I want to head
(18:40):
now and direction is justamazing the amount of people I
can help with the setbacks thatI've dealt with and overcoming
these setbacks.
Adversity is tough.
It's not for you know, joeSchmo, that can't take it.
(19:05):
The reality is everybody'sgonna face them and it's up to
you on how you handle them.
You know you got.
You have to be able to be ableto embrace failure.
(19:27):
You can't grow if you don'tembrace failure and its role in
the personal development andresilience of yourself.
Because if you don't embracefailure and you just shut it out
, it's not gonna help you in thelong run because it's just
(19:50):
gonna set you up to fail again.
And when you do fail, you'renot gonna know what to do again.
And that's where I talked aboutyou know, having that
opportunity to learn from ourmistakes.
And then we're gonna talk aboutPC PCing together, recovery
(20:22):
strategies and support.
You know it's a process offinding a combination of
approaches and strategies thatworked for myself.
I've tried everything in myrecovery and I've tried the
(20:46):
whole A A, a smart recovery, dbt, cbt, counseling.
And what's always helped me isthe fact that, if I know there's
the same, you can't helpsomebody else until you can help
(21:09):
yourself.
I 100% agree with that.
But at the same time I alsobelieve that you can help others
while helping yourself, becauseI know me going out and
(21:31):
speaking or volunteering andhelping other youth in similar
situations.
You know it allows me to giveback and it just allows me to
(21:59):
see the other opportunities thatlife has to offer.
And you know, for me it'salways been going out speaking
and if there's one person inthat crowd I can help, then I
did my job.
That's what keeps me movingforward, that's what keeps me
(22:25):
fighting, that's what keeps methe drive in me, it's that
competition in me that I fail.
You know to lay down.
When I want to lay down, I'mgonna lay down on my terms.
(22:47):
The biggest thing that played arole in my recovery and
overcoming my setbacks hasalways been my faith,
self-reflection, journaling andongoing counseling and essential
(23:12):
coping mechanisms that Ilearned through treatment court
because I at one pointvolunteered to be in treatment
court and had been in for abouta year and a half and it was
probably the best decision Imade Kept me accountable.
(23:33):
It wasn't easy, it was work andit's not for everybody.
That's just a little bit aboutthat.
Now, having these multiple TBIsand struggling with PTSD and
(24:05):
trauma, I was able to getthrough a service dog for myself
who's fully trained.
He's also trained as a therapydog.
He's just a breath of fresh air.
He can I can come home and havethe worst day anxiety paktak
(24:31):
and if I hadn't brought him withme, he instantly knows when
something's wrong.
I almost feel bad for himbecause I can see him taking on
my anxiety.
You know, miles, that's hisname, miles.
(24:57):
If he knows I'm having a panicattack or anxiety, I'll
literally tackle me to theground and sit on my chest until
I calm down.
It's just that companionshipand he's helped manage my PTSD,
panic attacks and my anxiety.
(25:21):
There's so much value in havinga certified service dog or
therapy dog.
He's not just an emotionalsupport dog, he has to be one of
the smartest dogs I've everbought.
I bought him online and drovetwo hours to get him.
(25:51):
The lady said he was you knowhe could be a serious dog, but
then at the same time he was atotal goofball kind of puppy.
That's what I needed was a dogthat's going to be there.
(26:13):
When he throws his vest on, heknows he's going to go to work
and be serious about it, butthen at the same time, when he
knows I need him to cheer me upand be happy, he can flip that
switch and just make you laugh.
And so if you qualify for aservice dog, I wouldn't hesitate
(26:37):
to get one.
That's highly recommended andit helps so much with my PTSD.
You know, healing from traumaand finding strength and setting
(27:00):
boundaries has been probablythe toughest area for me because
, being a guy, I don't liketalking about my trauma.
You know, like for the sexualassault, it's only been until
(27:28):
recently, the past probably fiveyears, that it finally got
brought up and talked about andI'm still dealing with it.
There's just some trauma that'sgoing to take time to heal and
(27:48):
I accept that.
I don't take blame for it, butI accept it Because those past
traumas that I blamed on myselffor years are not my fault, and
(28:12):
you know, setting boundaries,that's a huge weak spot for me,
because I can set them, but do Ialways stand firm on them?
And that's where I fell victimto, you know, repeated abuse,
(28:33):
because I look for the good inpeople and there's not
everybody's good out there.
There's evil people out thereand they take advantage of the
weak.
(28:58):
You know it's very importantthat we do set boundaries in our
relationships, our toxicrelationships, and setting
boundaries and learning toprioritize self-care and
maintaining overall well-being.
You have to take care ofyourself.
(29:19):
You can't depend on somebodyelse and become codependent and
get through life happy, becausethen you're basically living on
their happiness.
So if they're in a bad mood,you're not going to be in the
(29:42):
greatest mood because it's allgoing to be your fault and you
have to find it in yourself thatyou can find your happiness on
your own.
You know, and that's a journeyin itself.
So, with my background, I'm,you know, becoming looking to
(30:13):
become an advocate, using mystory to inspire, change,
explain.
You know how others recognizetheir potential.
And as a motivational speaker, Iinitially hesitated because I
(30:39):
didn't think I was good enoughat it.
I didn't think I had a story totell.
I didn't think anybody wouldlisten to it.
I mean, who wants to listen tosomebody had failures?
Who want to listen to somebodyhas continuous setbacks in life?
And that's where I was wrong.
(31:00):
And, you know, there's a pointin my life where I looked at it
as, yeah, I've had some setbackshere and there, but, like other
people have had worse than me,so I don't really have anything
to share because I'm you know,my story is so, so small.
(31:23):
Well, it took me, took me agood 40 years to write one heck
of a story and it's a story thateasily can change somebody's
life.
(31:44):
You know, my vision of using myexperiences to advocate for
mental health and addictionrecovery and setting boundaries
is, just, like I said,motivational speaking.
And then, along with that,eventually building a 24 hour
(32:12):
retreat center for people whoare facing adversity not just
recovery, not just addiction,but adversity and need a place
to go for a while and take abreak.
And those are in the beginningstages and it's just it's it's
(32:36):
that's the type of stuff I wantto get into and build on and
build on because they're they'reneeded.
There's never enough of them.
There never will be enough ofthem.
I mean, we still don't evenknow the full effects of COVID
(32:58):
on people from being penned upfor how many years.
You know my target audience formy speaking will be anybody from
(33:18):
high school age, middle schoolage because that's where my
addiction started all the way upto somebody in their sixties
who could struggle fromaddiction, struggle from
setbacks, failures.
You know I've lived it.
(33:43):
I've lived the highs, I'velived the lows and you know I've
had my nice houses and I'vebeen in good professions.
But then, at the same time,I've also been homeless and
(34:04):
trying to fight for my next meal, and never did I think I'd go
from NCAA college wrestlingall-American to living on the
streets and not knowing where mynext meal is going to come.
(34:29):
The main lessons and insightsfrom your personal journey, my
personal journey.
You know it is what it is.
This built me, built me who Iam today.
I wouldn't be as strong as I amand have the inner strength as
(34:50):
I do today had I not wentthrough the things I have.
I'm blessed and I'm still alive.
I encourage the audience toembrace failure, seek support,
nurture resilience in their ownlives.
I'm here to inspire theaudience to dig deep, to find
(35:11):
their inner strength andovercome adversity by sharing
inspiring stories of triumph.
Too many times, you know,you're in a room and it's all
negativity and that stuff wearsoff on you.
I've been in classes where it'sjust constant, negative,
(35:37):
negative, negative, to whereI've had to get up and walk out
because I just can't deal withall the negativity, because it's
just rubbing off on me.
And so that's a huge thing issharing inspiring stories of
triumph, and so that's going tobe our show today on War of the
(36:01):
Mind.
I appreciate you guys alllistening.
And conclusion you know wetalked about resilience.
We talked about my pastfailures and overcoming
obstacles, overcoming adversity,talked about positive stories
(36:31):
and embracing our journey andembracing our failures.
You know, without provoking aquote or personal reflection
related to resilience andfinding purpose, you can always
(36:51):
find purpose in life.
I want to thank for theopportunity to share my story
and to inspire others to makethe positive changes in their
lives.
You're not alone in this battle.
There's always somebody herefor you, you know.
(37:19):
I just hope that people are ableto reach out if they need to,
and we have a 24 seven websitethat's ljvoiceprojectcom.
(37:41):
There's a contact page on thereand you can shoot us a message
and we'll get back to you andtry and get you on the phone and
talk to you.
If you're looking for amotivational speaker at your
next event, that's also on there.
We have our speaking topics onour website.
(38:03):
So if you're listening to Warof the Mind here today, why
don't you go ahead and head overto ljvoiceprojectcom and see
what we have to offer on there?
There's something for everybody, and we also have our blog on
(38:25):
there, along with all the pastpodcast episodes of War of the
Mind.
And if you're looking for us onFacebook, twitter, instagram,
it's ljvoiceproject.
Ljvoiceproject is just our nameon there.
(38:49):
And, yeah, I want to thank thelisteners and thank you for the
reason why we're here havingthis show, and I appreciate you
listening.
Hope you're doing well.
Hope you're doing well.
Hope you're doing well.
And welcome back here on another show of War of the
Mind.
I'm your host, lauren Johnson,and today we're going to be
covering from the struggles tostrength, embracing resilience
and finding purpose.
You know there's different waysto look at resilience and
(00:27):
overcoming adversity.
You know everybody in our livesare going to have setbacks and
it's how we deal with oursetbacks is what's going to
define us who we are and it'sgoing to show growth.
And from setbacks it allows usto learn.
(00:49):
It allows us to grow anddevelop our inner strength and
character, also along the way,developing wisdom that we didn't
have.
Before Growing up, I firmlythought failure wasn't an option
(01:13):
and that's just kind of whatwas taught to me and it took a
while for me to adjust torealizing that it was OK to fail
and I'm OK with it today.
And you know you might get alittle frustrated when you do
(01:35):
fail.
That's OK.
Frustration is, you know, a keycomponent of the results of a
setback.
It's how we handle thesituation after we go through
the setback.
So you know, in my 20-someyears of experience and
(02:07):
overcoming adversity andresilience, that goes in mental
health, addiction recovery andpersonal growth.
You know I'm here basically onthis show to inspire, educate
and empower the audience toembrace resilience and find
(02:32):
strength in the face ofchallenges and show you guys
that you're not alone.
And I know you know there's alot of us out there that know
we're not alone, but there'salso a select few that you know
sit at home thinking they're theonly ones going through this
(02:52):
and they're wrong.
You know how can one individualfight the tail off and overcome
an obstacle, only to haveanother setback and still
overcome it, while you haveanother individual say the exact
(03:14):
same stature, what you thoughtwas, the same mentality, and
they'll throw themselves a pityparty and they'll be stuck right
in that situation and stuck fora long time.
And that's where there's alwaysdiscussion of whether being
(03:37):
resilient can be taught or ifit's something that we just
either you have it or you don'thave it.
My personal take on it is Ibelieve you either have it or
you don't have it.
I don't believe it's hereditary.
I do believe you can learn tobe resilient to a certain extent
(04:04):
, but as far as being resilientand consistently fighting back
and not giving up, some of thatstuff, you know, just cannot be
taught.
But it definitely can belearned.
And one thing I've learned asI've aged is I'm constantly,
(04:30):
constantly learning and tryingto pick up new ideas, new
thoughts, just to better myself.
I refuse to settle and that'sanother key component of being
resilient is you refuse tosettle.
A little background about myself.
(04:51):
You know I've had my sharesetbacks.
How will I, some might know,sexually assaulted as a kid on
two different occasions by twodifferent people.
You know that was a setback fora long time and I could have
(05:16):
laid in my pity for it for therest of my life.
And I've chosen not to Chosen,to put a voice out there for an
individual that you know doesn'thave one or have the
(05:37):
connections From there.
You know I wrestled all the wayup through college and I would
have multiple injuries and Icould have been down on the
first one.
I mean, most people would havebeen down on the first torn
(05:57):
shoulder, and this isn'tbragging or anything, but I
refused to go out on terms ofSomebody else.
I always had it in my head thatwhen I walked off the wrestling
mat and decided I was going tobe done wrestling, it was going
(06:20):
to be on my terms, the way Iwanted it.
And you know there was yearswhere I just came out of my
elbow, shoulder and beginning ofthe season and I was still back
on the map by the end of theseason because I refused to give
up.
And that's the mentality thatwe try to teach our kids today.
(06:43):
We live in a society todaywhere it's so easy for our youth
to give up and you know, ohwell, it's just how it is.
Well, it doesn't have to bethat way, unless you want it
that way, you know.
(07:11):
Trying to think some otheradversity that I faced Just I've
been in two car crashes,suffered two traumatic brain
injuries, came back from both ofthem and healed fully, but
(07:33):
healed as best as I, you know,figure, it's the best it's going
to get and I'm okay with that.
The one thing that really suckedout of the whole deal is going
from, you know, just to have atraumatic brain injury.
(07:57):
But to have a traumatic braininjury and then causing you to
turn to addiction really put ahuge setback in my life and has
for a long time, I can honestlysay now I've been sober from
(08:19):
alcohol for almost five yearsand sober from heroin for going
on three years.
But it's just, it's stuff likethat that people don't realize
that can be taken away from youand I never would have thought
in my wildest dreams one momentI would have been a cop and the
(08:42):
next, down the road, a heroinaddict.
That's the effects of damage toa brain and I'm not making
excuses because it is a choice Idecided to go with and
(09:05):
struggled for a long time withit and caused pain to my family,
caused pain to my friends,pushed people away, pushed my
kids away.
It it was the demon in mycloset.
And well, I would, you know,have multiple overdoses, almost
(09:34):
12 of them where I washospitalized.
I would.
I have about 20 of them at homewhere I didn't go to the
hospital.
I would have a couple where Iwas induced into a coma and that
was during COVID, and I would.
(09:55):
That was when, covid, youcouldn't have visitors.
There's nothing worse thanwaking up from a coma and having
nobody there and talk aboutfeeling alone and you know you
think you're dead already andyou wake up to an empty room.
I see, I see you.
(10:19):
And the biggest thing thatalways separated me from another
drug addict is I refuse tocarry that label of being a drug
addict.
I always thought I was betterthan that did I.
(10:43):
Was I a drug addict, yeah, butin my eyes I knew I could
overcome it and I knew I couldbeat it because I had already
beat alcohol.
And so, looking back, I I've alot of regret, but if I sat and
(11:08):
lived in my regret and pity andfelt sorry for myself, I would
get nowhere in life movingforward and that's kind of what
we're preaching here today withresilience.
You know, I can't imagine thepain I put family members, my
(11:33):
wife, my dad, having to find medead and having to revive me or
attempt to revive me and thenbeing carted off and I'm
thinking I'm already gone.
It's just, it's reckless andit's a road I wish I never would
(11:59):
have crossed.
But it happened and it's what'smade me who I am today, which
is made me into a better person,a better father.
That you know to my kids.
I pushed them away.
(12:20):
I haven't had the chance toshare every detail with them
because there's just a situationwith their mom and I and what
she's told them.
There's two different thingsfrom what's really happened.
(12:40):
And you know, I just look at itas the kids will find out one
day when they get older andthey'll figure it out.
They're smart, they'reresilient and you know, kids are
tough and I just pray that theycan see through the lies and
(13:07):
understand addiction, mentalhealth, especially nowadays with
how prevalent it is.
I've setbacks, I've suffered.
I've had a cute liver failure,just kind of came out of the
(13:28):
blue, and this was after I quitdrinking for some time.
I've also had a stroke and myleft eye last a year ago.
You know these are all thingsthat aren't minor setbacks.
(13:51):
These are what some wouldconsider major setbacks and I
haven't sat down one time andfelt sorry for myself.
I still continue to have thedrive to better myself, still
(14:12):
continue to want and be hungryfor more, and I know there's
gonna be more setbacks in life.
I mean crepes.
I just filed to get my kidsback and I know, during the
course of trying to get themback, I know there's gonna be
setbacks and I had to preparemyself for that.
(14:35):
You know the stroke and liverfailure and the overdoses
(14:55):
they've caused a profoundinfluence on my perspective and
motivation to change.
I mean, like we said, some canuse it as a pity party, others
can use it to fuel and motivatethemselves to get better and
(15:17):
I've always been one to take mysetbacks and use math's fire to
overcome these lucky setbacksthat I get to deal with in life.
And we're all gonna do withthem and we some have worse than
(15:39):
others, some have just minorones.
It's just the cards were doubtnow, Evolving perspectives and
(16:03):
failure of growth, reflecting onthe initial belief that failure
was not an option and how itwas affected.
Decision making was a huge partof growing up.
But at the same time, it wassomething I didn't know was
(16:29):
going on at the time because,like I said, everything was easy
at that point in my life.
I didn't have to try that hardat wrestling or football, I
didn't have to try that hard.
Academically, I would stillhave eight allays.
But the direction, you know, ittook me when I did start having
(16:59):
these major setbacks wasdetrimental because I didn't
know how to deal with it.
And thank God I happen to beone of them people that just is
resilient in their own skin,because I could have easily fell
(17:21):
victim to feeling sorry formyself, just like others do.
You know, there's always thatturning point when you realize
that failure was a natural partof life and that failure gives
(17:52):
you the opportunity for growthand not too many of us get that
chance.
Not too many of us get tooverdose and die, be pronounced
dead and still live to talkabout it.
Not many of us get to get incar accidents and live to talk
(18:16):
about it.
So I mean those failures haveshaped my life and changed the
course of direction, of whereI'm headed, because from where I
was just being a cop to helpingpeople to where I want to head
(18:40):
now and direction is justamazing the amount of people I
can help with the setbacks thatI've dealt with and overcoming
these setbacks.
Adversity is tough.
It's not for you know, joeSchmo, that can't take it.
(19:05):
The reality is everybody'sgonna face them and it's up to
you on how you handle them.
You know you got.
You have to be able to be ableto embrace failure.
(19:27):
You can't grow if you don'tembrace failure and its role in
the personal development andresilience of yourself.
Because if you don't embracefailure and you just shut it out
, it's not gonna help you in thelong run because it's just
(19:50):
gonna set you up to fail again.
And when you do fail, you'renot gonna know what to do again.
And that's where I talked aboutyou know, having that
opportunity to learn from ourmistakes.
And then we're gonna talk aboutPC PCing together, recovery
(20:22):
strategies and support.
You know it's a process offinding a combination of
approaches and strategies thatworked for myself.
I've tried everything in myrecovery and I've tried the
(20:46):
whole A A, a smart recovery, dbt, cbt, counseling.
And what's always helped me isthe fact that, if I know there's
the same, you can't helpsomebody else until you can help
(21:09):
yourself.
I 100% agree with that.
But at the same time I alsobelieve that you can help others
while helping yourself, becauseI know me going out and
(21:31):
speaking or volunteering andhelping other youth in similar
situations.
You know it allows me to giveback and it just allows me to
(21:59):
see the other opportunities thatlife has to offer.
And you know, for me it'salways been going out speaking
and if there's one person inthat crowd I can help, then I
did my job.
That's what keeps me movingforward, that's what keeps me
(22:25):
fighting, that's what keeps methe drive in me, it's that
competition in me that I fail.
You know to lay down.
When I want to lay down, I'mgonna lay down on my terms.
(22:47):
The biggest thing that played arole in my recovery and
overcoming my setbacks hasalways been my faith,
self-reflection, journaling andongoing counseling and essential
(23:12):
coping mechanisms that Ilearned through treatment court
because I at one pointvolunteered to be in treatment
court and had been in for abouta year and a half and it was
probably the best decision Imade Kept me accountable.
(23:33):
It wasn't easy, it was work andit's not for everybody.
That's just a little bit aboutthat.
Now, having these multiple TBIsand struggling with PTSD and
(24:05):
trauma, I was able to getthrough a service dog for myself
who's fully trained.
He's also trained as a therapydog.
He's just a breath of fresh air.
He can I can come home and havethe worst day anxiety paktak
(24:31):
and if I hadn't brought him withme, he instantly knows when
something's wrong.
I almost feel bad for himbecause I can see him taking on
my anxiety.
You know, miles, that's hisname, miles.
(24:57):
If he knows I'm having a panicattack or anxiety, I'll
literally tackle me to theground and sit on my chest until
I calm down.
It's just that companionshipand he's helped manage my PTSD,
panic attacks and my anxiety.
(25:21):
There's so much value in havinga certified service dog or
therapy dog.
He's not just an emotionalsupport dog, he has to be one of
the smartest dogs I've everbought.
I bought him online and drovetwo hours to get him.
(25:51):
The lady said he was you knowhe could be a serious dog, but
then at the same time he was atotal goofball kind of puppy.
That's what I needed was a dogthat's going to be there.
(26:13):
When he throws his vest on, heknows he's going to go to work
and be serious about it, butthen at the same time, when he
knows I need him to cheer me upand be happy, he can flip that
switch and just make you laugh.
And so if you qualify for aservice dog, I wouldn't hesitate
(26:37):
to get one.
That's highly recommended andit helps so much with my PTSD.
You know, healing from traumaand finding strength and setting
(27:00):
boundaries has been probablythe toughest area for me because
, being a guy, I don't liketalking about my trauma.
You know, like for the sexualassault, it's only been until
(27:28):
recently, the past probably fiveyears, that it finally got
brought up and talked about andI'm still dealing with it.
There's just some trauma that'sgoing to take time to heal and
(27:48):
I accept that.
I don't take blame for it, butI accept it Because those past
traumas that I blamed on myselffor years are not my fault, and
(28:12):
you know, setting boundaries,that's a huge weak spot for me,
because I can set them, but do Ialways stand firm on them?
And that's where I fell victimto, you know, repeated abuse,
(28:33):
because I look for the good inpeople and there's not
everybody's good out there.
There's evil people out thereand they take advantage of the
weak.
(28:58):
You know it's very importantthat we do set boundaries in our
relationships, our toxicrelationships, and setting
boundaries and learning toprioritize self-care and
maintaining overall well-being.
You have to take care ofyourself.
(29:19):
You can't depend on somebodyelse and become codependent and
get through life happy, becausethen you're basically living on
their happiness.
So if they're in a bad mood,you're not going to be in the
(29:42):
greatest mood because it's allgoing to be your fault and you
have to find it in yourself thatyou can find your happiness on
your own.
You know, and that's a journeyin itself.
So, with my background, I'm,you know, becoming looking to
(30:13):
become an advocate, using mystory to inspire, change,
explain.
You know how others recognizetheir potential.
And as a motivational speaker, Iinitially hesitated because I
(30:39):
didn't think I was good enoughat it.
I didn't think I had a story totell.
I didn't think anybody wouldlisten to it.
I mean, who wants to listen tosomebody had failures?
Who want to listen to somebodyhas continuous setbacks in life?
And that's where I was wrong.
(31:00):
And, you know, there's a pointin my life where I looked at it
as, yeah, I've had some setbackshere and there, but, like other
people have had worse than me,so I don't really have anything
to share because I'm you know,my story is so, so small.
(31:23):
Well, it took me, took me agood 40 years to write one heck
of a story and it's a story thateasily can change somebody's
life.
(31:44):
You know, my vision of using myexperiences to advocate for
mental health and addictionrecovery and setting boundaries
is, just, like I said,motivational speaking.
And then, along with that,eventually building a 24 hour
(32:12):
retreat center for people whoare facing adversity not just
recovery, not just addiction,but adversity and need a place
to go for a while and take abreak.
And those are in the beginningstages and it's just it's it's
(32:36):
that's the type of stuff I wantto get into and build on and
build on because they're they'reneeded.
There's never enough of them.
There never will be enough ofthem.
I mean, we still don't evenknow the full effects of COVID
(32:58):
on people from being penned upfor how many years.
You know my target audience formy speaking will be anybody from
(33:18):
high school age, middle schoolage because that's where my
addiction started all the way upto somebody in their sixties
who could struggle fromaddiction, struggle from
setbacks, failures.
You know I've lived it.
(33:43):
I've lived the highs, I'velived the lows and you know I've
had my nice houses and I'vebeen in good professions.
But then, at the same time,I've also been homeless and
(34:04):
trying to fight for my next meal, and never did I think I'd go
from NCAA college wrestlingall-American to living on the
streets and not knowing where mynext meal is going to come.
(34:29):
The main lessons and insightsfrom your personal journey, my
personal journey.
You know it is what it is.
This built me, built me who Iam today.
I wouldn't be as strong as I amand have the inner strength as
(34:50):
I do today had I not wentthrough the things I have.
I'm blessed and I'm still alive.
I encourage the audience toembrace failure, seek support,
nurture resilience in their ownlives.
I'm here to inspire theaudience to dig deep, to find
(35:11):
their inner strength andovercome adversity by sharing
inspiring stories of triumph.
Too many times, you know,you're in a room and it's all
negativity and that stuff wearsoff on you.
I've been in classes where it'sjust constant, negative,
(35:37):
negative, negative, to whereI've had to get up and walk out
because I just can't deal withall the negativity, because it's
just rubbing off on me.
And so that's a huge thing issharing inspiring stories of
triumph, and so that's going tobe our show today on War of the
(36:01):
Mind.
I appreciate you guys alllistening.
And conclusion you know wetalked about resilience.
We talked about my pastfailures and overcoming
obstacles, overcoming adversity,talked about positive stories
(36:31):
and embracing our journey andembracing our failures.
You know, without provoking aquote or personal reflection
related to resilience andfinding purpose, you can always
(36:51):
find purpose in life.
I want to thank for theopportunity to share my story
and to inspire others to makethe positive changes in their
lives.
You're not alone in this battle.
There's always somebody herefor you, you know.
(37:19):
I just hope that people are ableto reach out if they need to,
and we have a 24 seven websitethat's ljvoiceprojectcom.
(37:41):
There's a contact page on thereand you can shoot us a message
and we'll get back to you andtry and get you on the phone and
talk to you.
If you're looking for amotivational speaker at your
next event, that's also on there.
We have our speaking topics onour website.
(38:03):
So if you're listening to Warof the Mind here today, why
don't you go ahead and head overto ljvoiceprojectcom and see
what we have to offer on there?
There's something for everybody, and we also have our blog on
(38:25):
there, along with all the pastpodcast episodes of War of the
Mind.
And if you're looking for us onFacebook, twitter, instagram,
it's ljvoiceproject.
Ljvoiceproject is just our nameon there.
(38:49):
And, yeah, I want to thank thelisteners and thank you for the
reason why we're here havingthis show, and I appreciate you
listening.
Hope you're doing well.
Hope you're doing well.
Hope you're doing well.
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