January 13, 2025 • 60 mins
Andrea Carella, an esteemed trauma-informed psychotherapist and author of "No Longer Burned Out on Busy," joins us for a thought-provoking exploration of holistic healing. Andrea shares her unique methodologies, including the Freedom Method and the CARE approach, which merge the body, spirit, heart, and mind for comprehensive healing. As the founder of the Holistic Healers Academy, Andrea provides a glimpse into her training of therapists and wellness professionals, and discusses the transformative role of ketamine-assisted psychotherapy in achieving authentic living.
Our conversation takes an introspective turn as we examine the dynamics of building a healthy relationship with oneself amidst the journey of healing from trauma. Andrea guides us through the process of shifting from external blame to genuine self-awareness, highlighting the importance of accepting our shadow selves and recognizing self-sabotaging patterns. The discussion emphasizes the power of self-trust and discernment, offering insight into how we can maintain positive energy and navigate relationships with those on different levels of consciousness.
We conclude with a deep dive into the ongoing journey of self-healing and personal growth. Andrea underscores the importance of revisiting past experiences and nurturing the inner child to release suppressed emotions and inherited patterns. Our dialogue reflects on balancing external support with internal nurturing, and how the journey to self-awareness and trust can ultimately lead to joy and liberation. Join us for a heartfelt discussion that promises to inspire and empower your path to self-liberation and healing.
You can find her Book here, her website here, and follow her on IG here.
Find Joya at Vibologie.com and on IG @Vibologie
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Joya (00:06):
today on, we woke up like this.
I am speaking to the beautifuland gifted andrea carella.
Andrea is a sought aftertrauma-informed psychotherapist
with over 20 years of experiencein the field and is the
best-selling author of the bookno Longer Burned Out on Busy.
She developed the freedommethod and the care approach to
(00:29):
facilitate her clients' healingsomatic release, resiliency,
strengthening, self-love,nurturing and a return to
wholeness, higher consciousness,expansion and embodiment.
Recognizing that her uniqueapproach to holistic
trauma-informed treatment wasnot commonplace, she decided to
create the Holistic HealersAcademy, where she trains and
(00:51):
mentors therapists, healers andwellness professionals over the
course of 10 months toexperience the personal benefits
of a trauma approach whichnurtures and honors one's whole
body, spirit, heart and mind,and to learn how to incorporate
these effective and cutting edgeapproaches to supporting their
(01:11):
current and future clients.
As part of her academy, menteesalso attend quarterly in-person
gatherings where they undergotheir own ketamine assisted
psychotherapy experience, aswell as learning how to support
and hold space for others goingthrough their own
ketamine-assisted psychotherapyexperience, as well as learning
how to support and hold spacefor others going through their
own process.
She teaches how to prepare forthe discovery session,
(01:32):
facilitate the discovery sessionand utilize the power of
integration.
Phase of treatment.
Andrea, I'm so honored to haveyou here with me and I also love
your tagline, which I want tosay nurturing hearts,
transforming lives, enhancingwell-being.
Andrea (01:50):
Thank you for having me.
It's such a joy to be with you.
Joya (01:58):
Oh my gosh, it's so exciting to have you here.
And before we start, I justwant to say how we met, because
it was so unique and so unusual,and we met while waiting in
line to hug Ama the huggingsaint.
Andrea (02:09):
Yes, you were number 10 in line and I was number 11.
Joya (02:14):
And we probably got there like six in the morning, we did,
and we just started talking andcompletely hit it off.
And then, of course, as you dowith people, that you meet in
other states and in lines andall of those things like, oh,
let's stay in touch.
And then we didn't.
And then, many months later, Iwas asked by a friend of mine to
facilitate a sound bath for herfriend who was coming into town
(02:37):
.
And guess who that friend was?
No coincidences, right, thereare not.
And we immediately just said,okay, there's a reason that we
met and we're supposed to stayin touch, and so that, as we've
been talking, I instantly, as Igot to know you better, asked
you to be on my podcast, and I'mso honored that you said yes.
Andrea (02:58):
so thank you so I love the work that you're doing in
the world and your resonance,your frequency, you know it
really resonates with me andwith so many.
So I'm glad that we came backinto the same sphere once again,
in a different state this time.
Joya (03:16):
Yeah, me too, and I'm really excited to have you being
in this beginning series oftalks for this year, because
this whole year is aboutembodiment, liberating your true
self, embodying your true self,and so for you to be kicking us
off with talking about whatdoes self liberation mean?
What is that whole topic?
(03:38):
I mean, it's a big topic, butyou, as a therapist, you've been
in this work for a long time.
What does that mean to you forself-liberation?
What does that even mean?
Andrea (03:47):
You know, the reality is is that we come into this world
with a truth, with an essence,with a frequency, with a heart,
and things happen along the way.
We get bumped, we get bruised,we get different narratives in
the social scape unconsciousness, people withholding love
(04:10):
narratives, all this stuff thatgets really confusing and gets
us really either disconnected,anxious in our head, trying to
figure things out, and we losetouch with that authentic
essence and truth of who we arethat lives in and abides and
(04:33):
resides in our heart and in oursoul.
And so that is the first placeto really return back to
ultimately is to really beintimate with those spaces and
places in our heart and in oursoul where we disconnected from,
to figure things out that ledto our own oppression,
(04:54):
repression, depression and, yeah, so liberating ourselves is
really remembering what weforgot.
Ultimately, remembering what weforgot oh.
Joya (05:10):
I love that and I actually just had that.
I wrote that in a talk that I'mworking, that it's actually
like health, a true healing isreturning to the self we were
not allowed to be was kind ofthe way that I had it.
That it's like, oh yeah, it'sall these things that you know.
As I dug into my own story thatI was like you know what's
beneath that and you know, whenyou start doing the work it
(05:32):
starts getting deeper and you'relike what's beneath that?
What's beneath that?
And and at the bottom of thosefeelings, I realized there was
this feeling of it's not okay tobe who you are.
Who you are needs to bedifferent, and that message, of
course, came from my environment.
Andrea (05:50):
Yes, and I and what I think it comes down to is not
being understood, for the uniqueessence that you are and it's
our responsibility, if we wantto be healthy, whole and free,
is to return back to thosespaces that got misfiled,
misorganized, even, not justfrom others, but how we we
(06:13):
oppressed ourselves or rejectedourselves.
And so going back to thosespaces and places and bringing
love to places and spaces wherelove was denied or presence
wasn't, met in that moment withcuriosity.
Joya (06:31):
So we get to do that, we get to extend that curiosity and
compassion for the places thatwere rejected or misunderstood,
and I find I've found on my work, my journey and I'm curious if
you find this too that thoseplaces that I'm self rejecting,
(06:51):
that I am self abandoning, arethose exact same places that
need to be looked at and need tobe loved Totally and I think
sometimes there's theseprotections that are there, that
that came to protect thosevulnerable places and spaces
inside of ourselves.
Andrea (07:10):
So even just even having that awareness that right there
, right next to thatvulnerability, may be a
protective mechanism of reaction, or may be a protective
mechanism of fear and avoidance,or maybe right there of you
know, managing, micromanagingand trying to be perfect, right
(07:33):
Like it might be right there,and so that part also needs love
and a vacation.
Joya (07:43):
All the parts of me need love and a vacation.
I'm just gonna say and justbeing grateful.
Andrea (07:48):
like you know, I'm grateful for this perfectionist
part that went up into my headto figure things out and to be
in strategy and skillfulnavigation right, and sometimes
you know that's all in well andgood, but if we live and keep
reinforcing that, we're stillreinforcing that.
Joya (08:10):
I need that, and so even peeling back the layers of like
and what's that part that feltvulnerable, the more that we can
get intimate with thatvulnerability at the root of our
heart, where love, the juncturebetween pain and love that
lives in our heart and extendlove there and curiosity and
(08:35):
stillness yeah, I found that somuch of doing the work is being
willing to just be present withwhat is, even when it completely
sucks, without needing tochange it, without feeling like
I need to change it, and notnecessarily that I'm going
through it so much as I'maccepting like it feels like,
the more that I can just go intoloving acceptance and switch
(08:59):
into, instead of self judgment,switch into self kindness,
self-judgment switch intoself-kindness, that it seems to
start to lose its tightness thatit has on me.
Andrea (09:09):
Yeah, it's true, I, and I think that's where this is a
beautiful time of year.
You know, winter solstice it's,it's really a time.
It's interesting how it'sbecome very commercialized.
It's just all about themovement but and this and that
and the celebration and thegoing here and going there, but
really, ultimately, wintersolstice is, in its purest of
senses, is a quiet time, a timeof of darkness and stillness and
(09:36):
turning inward and quiet andallowing the light to meet us
there in the dark, to be able tobe in the dark and to see.
And if we don't slow downenough or get still enough or
get turned inward enough, we'regoing to miss this beautiful
gift of this time.
(09:56):
So I love that you're doinghaving this conversation about
liberation, because sometimes,in order to go far, we have to
go inward and we have to slowdown.
Joya (10:07):
Yes, that's kind of the paradox of it.
Right, it is.
Yeah, yeah, it's a paradox, forsure, and it does feel like
it's a.
It's a big slowing down and I,you know, as as we, we are in
winter and I'm like I'm here inArizona and I was just telling
you it's so hot, it's probably80 degrees outside today it's so
cold, so it doesn't to me likerhythmically.
(10:29):
I'm talking about right In therhythm of life, in the rhythm of
the seasons, in the rhythm ofhow I'm trying to move, which is
much more slowly and morerhythmically paced with nature.
It's hard when it's like this,where it's like it feels like
it's summertime, I'm in my busytime, but the reality is, yeah,
it is the time to slow down, tobe quiet, to go inward, to um,
(10:53):
to go at that slower pace wherewe just kind of take a pause and
look inside the power of thepause.
Andrea (11:01):
Yes, yeah, I mentioned that in my book no Longer Burnt
Out.
I'm Busy Because oftentimeslike for me, from what I saw as
the through line with in workingwith trauma is busyness is a
trauma response.
And you know, not only can wehave individual trauma, but we
(11:25):
can have collective trauma thatwe're dealing with right, where
we don't want to be intimatewith the discomfort of something
, and so we get busy to give usa false sense of movement and
resolution when maybe we have tosit in the discomfort and
expand our capacity to be withwhat is to be, with what's
(11:46):
uncomfortable, so that we cangrow, so we can actually not be
intimidated by the discomfortbut sit with the discomfort, be
curious about the discomfort andseek to understand or connect
to and breathe through, andthere's something magical that
(12:09):
happens when we do that, when weactually allow ourselves to
trust that and cocoon ourselvesultimately in that kind of that
discomfort.
We sit with it long enough.
At least I found this out formyself is being in it If you sit
with it long enough and youallow yourself to expand at
least I found this out formyself is being in it If you sit
with it long enough and youallow yourself to expand in the
(12:29):
capacity to be with it.
Love meets you there, lightmeets you there.
There's just a stillness thatyou get, but you, if you're too
busy, you're never going toexperience that.
That comfort that comes and be.
It's very subtle.
It's very subtle and yeah,there's something really
(12:51):
beautiful about that.
Even in a dark moment or evenin a hard moment, if we get
still enough and quiet enoughand are present enough with it
and just authentic with that,then something else meets us
there in that place, in ourheart.
Joya (13:07):
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
That is so beautiful.
That's so beautiful and itfeels.
You know, as you're saying that, that it is this very subtle
love meets you there.
And you know one of my favoritequotes about trauma and I want
to dive into trauma because somany people now are really
starting to do the deeper work,they're starting to real and, at
(13:30):
least in my sphere, in my world, people are really starting to
now take a look and stop withthe blaming and that it's out
there and starting to look inhere and saying, not in blame,
but in what in me is asking forhelp and healing.
Healing that I just keeprepeating self-sabotaging cycles
or I'm chronically busy, or I'min these crappy relationships
(13:52):
with people that are causing allthis drama and chaos.
And you, you start to kind ofreally literally your, as your
frequency changes, you kind ofjust don't resonate with it
anymore.
But that doesn't mean it's easy, that does not mean it's easy.
Andrea (14:07):
It's not easy, and I think that, the more that we can
be in an authentic, healthy,functional, loving relationship
with ourselves, where weactually meet ourselves with all
the spaces and places and partsof us, and even our shadow self
, even our inconvenient parts ofourselves, like the parts of us
(14:31):
that we're you know that and alot of times, what we ever we
see out there that we dislike isalso an indication of like.
Where do I reject that inmyself or or deny that?
That lives inside of me too,and I think there's a freedom
when we can even extendcompassion to that out there
that also not just, maybe mostlikely does abide and reside
(14:56):
inside of me too.
And the polarity of whateverthat is too the other side of
that.
And when you're still and quietand you slow it down, you're
not just at the mercy of theemotional, reactionary response.
You can actually respondinstead of react.
(15:17):
And I think that's where slowingdown, pumping the brakes, even
as the world is having its ownpumping the brakes, like even as
the world is having its ownhypnotic trance of shame and
blame and judgment, and you andthat, and just like whoa, what
made you think that?
What's that?
(15:38):
You know what?
What was that like for you?
Yeah, where, where are youcoming from?
And opening up a space of, oftrue empathy?
You know where you can actually, but not everyone can even have
that level of connection andconversation, right?
So what do you do in thosemoments where you're being
(15:59):
skillful and wise and creating aspace and an invitation for
that diplomatic, open, skillful,effective, heart-to-heart
conversation where the otherperson's functioning at a
different level of consciousnessbecause they're just either
they don't know what they don'tknow, or they're not interested,
or you know.
And then how do you untangleyourself from that so you can
(16:21):
stay in authentic relationshipwith the frequency that you're
committed to operating from andliving from.
And sometimes that requires usto take a step back so that we
can stay in authentic love ofourselves and authentic love of
the other person when they'renot being loving towards
(16:41):
themselves or us, or there'skind of a an energetics there
that you're just like, I'll just, why don't we, why don't we
just pause here, like this isn'tgoing to go anywhere effective?
Joya (16:50):
Yeah, yeah, and that's I mean again with the pause again,
right, that it could be like wedon't have to engage, we can
agree to disagree.
You said a loving healthyrelationship with ourself.
Andrea (17:07):
What does that look like ?
You know?
I, for me, what it looks likeis the feeling of the resonance
you know of in a, in a cabin, offeeling peaceful, of going for
a walk outside, surrounded bytrees, being by nature laughing
(17:41):
with my kids hugging, my husbandcocooning in my really
beautiful warm, cozy comforter,listening to meditation.
That really elevates me and,yeah, and that's that's what it
is, anything that that createsthat.
And connecting with a friend,having you know this synergy.
Uh, it's like, yes, thank you,more please.
Like I want more of that in mylife.
(18:03):
And and as, as you go throughand see, like, what matches that
and what can't, that'simportant to notice, to move
towards what elevates that andreinforces that, and and be able
to move away from and discern,use impeccable discernment of
(18:24):
get to choose.
I get to consciously choose.
You know what frequency I wantto radiate at and maintain, and
then what things pull me, pullme in a different direction,
that that enter me into adifferent frequency that I I'm
not interested in operating fromor surrounding myself with.
Joya (18:43):
Yeah, what role?
I'm curious, what role doesself-trust play in cultivating
that healthy relationship withyourself?
Andrea (18:56):
Well, I think self-trust is and self-trust, you know
it's very interesting is youknow what are the foundations
that we have, where the trust inour own knowing was supported
by others and where I think it'shard for us to trust ourselves
(19:16):
is where, maybe situationally orfrequently, other people forced
you to override your ownknowing.
And I think that's where itgets really confusing, because
as kids, we're attached, we'reattached to our family and we
need them to survive.
And if they needed a compliantchild or they judged you or took
(19:42):
away love, if you were adefiant child, then it's going
to be really tricky to trustyourself because someone in the
system can't tolerate or holdspace for your unique essence or
your own unique way, or evenmeet you with curiosity and
understanding right.
So if that didn't happen, thenthe trusting of self is going to
(20:07):
feel a little unstable oremotionally confusing or there's
a codependency that's there.
There's a skewed attachment,conditional loving, all mixed
together and that's going tomake trusting ourselves
complicated.
So untangling ourselves fromthat is and returning back to
(20:28):
trusting ourselves is going toall those places and places
where you didn't trust yourselfor you overrode your knowingness
or somebody else required youin order to be in a connected
relationship to override yourown inner knowingness.
To override your own innerknowingness because or you
wanted to avoid conflict in thatmoment, or you didn't feel
strong enough, or you didn'tfeel that the person was
(20:50):
receptive enough.
Now you see how complextrusting ourselves can be if it
wasn't, we weren't in securerelationships that honored and
nurtured our inner knowing, andso we have to go back to those
spaces and places and meetourselves there and be the
parent, be the sibling, be themeet that part, and say hey, I
(21:15):
get you, I know.
Yeah, and I feel like this iswhere the work that you're doing
with no-transcript, back intothe vulnerability of the heart,
(21:56):
where the wound lives of likenot being not being loved, not
being met with curiosity,patience, presence, assisted
(22:25):
psychotherapy really opens up awindow of tolerance that we can
go back to those spaces andplaces without feeling
overwhelmed or kicking intothose, those mechanisms to try
to get into our head, causethat's a very common thing when
we go back into our heart, we'regoing to go back into, like,
our head, because our headhelped us survive and figure
things out, and so thatmechanism is going to like in a
(22:46):
way, help you, but it also nowgets in the way of the deeper
layers of intimacy andvulnerability, and that's that's
what we need is be able to goback to those spaces and places
and feel that we can createsafety again in those moments in
inside of ourselves, in thosetender places and spaces in our
(23:06):
heart, and create unconditionallove and compassion and wisdom,
a perspective, and to see thoseparts of ourselves that were
unseen by others ormisunderstood, and understand.
(23:26):
And there's a beautiful healingthat happens there, that's
embodied, you know it's in you,yes, and then your capacity to
meet other people in that wayexpands as well.
Joya (23:38):
I did have a plant, a plant journey that got me in
touch with my little girl self,who she I could feel like.
I could feel it took me.
It took me right back to beingin that place and and
remembering, because, like as anadult, you forget, like we, I
blocked off how I felt as achild, right, but when I
(24:01):
encountered this little self, Icould feel all the things that
she was going through and Icould also feel how freaking
strong she was.
I was like holy cow, thislittle girl is a force.
And she told me she's.
And she just said to me youneed to grieve because I didn't
have time to.
(24:21):
Oh yeah, and it the.
And then I just sobbed in likefor like two hours.
It was ridiculous.
Andrea (24:28):
I was in my backyard under a tree, just sobbing and
just crying and without thestory right, it was just like
cleansing feelings without thestory and that that, yeah,
sometimes the story orprocessing the story thinks
we're, we think we're actuallygetting somewhere, but actually
just being there in the release,in the sacred baptism of our
(24:52):
tears, you know, that youhonored, that finally had an
opportunity to be witnessed andto be held and to feel safe
enough to release, to be present, present to and presence.
There's an incredible lightnessthat opens up, I would imagine.
(25:13):
I know for me, like the shaking,like the discharge from the
body, from the nervous system,just hours, just hours of just,
yeah, moving all that energy offear that you know, or that
holding, you know, that youdidn't even really realize was
(25:33):
there, that you gets to finallymove through.
And a lot of times it can alsobe ancestral epigenetics that
you're holding, that you mightbe, especially if you're a
sensitive empath, you couldactually be a surrogate, have
made yourself a surrogate forthe energies and the patterns of
the system of your family oforigin, which is holding a lot
(25:55):
of energy that's not even justours, right?
So there's also an opportunitywhere there's that safety that
opens up in the nervous system,with the support of the nature,
that allows us to return to ourtrue nature, independent of
story, independent of thisepigenetics, an opening of
(26:17):
release.
And okay, what's here?
What is my?
Who am I?
What am I?
Independent of this story,independent of this energy that
I've been holding onto, that wasmaybe not even mine, and
(26:37):
there's a freedom that happensin that, that, that liberation
of like oh, oh, there I am, yeah, oh, that's you, that's oh okay
, and sometimes, if you don't,you know, it just opens up that
space of, of perception andperspective.
Joya (26:58):
And I found for me that and this is the part two of the
question is in going throughthat experience and clearing
that out, finding that innerfreedom and that liberation of
clearing out all that space,like there was so much grief
that was stuck in, stored inthere, that once that was free,
it's like, oh, I've got all thisspace in my heart now that,
(27:18):
taken up with all this griefthat it kind of naturally formed
, I guess it's a boundary itwould be the perfect word
because it formed like aboundary in me.
That's like an energeticboundary that I don't cross and
I feel like that if I don'tcross my own boundary, I don't
need to tell other people not tocross it.
It's like it's not an issue,it's my boundary.
Andrea (27:41):
Right, right, there's a there's a sovereignty that's the
perfect word sovereignty.
There's a sovereignty that,when you go back to those spaces
and places of fragmentationultimately of ourselves, that an
exiled part, for whateverreason somebody exiled, or we
exiled, or whatever and aprotective part of us or a
(28:03):
management part of us orfirefighter part of us, comes in
.
Right, that requires a lot ofenergy.
There's a lot of energy, maybeeven unconsciously, that stays
stuck in a gear.
Even if it's past that momentin time, we're still operating
in that gear in that way fordecades, right?
And so what it allows us to dois like go back to that space,
(28:28):
unlock that access point, unlockthat protective mechanism that
allows us to be like bring thatpast into the present, move
through it energetically,physiologically.
Energetically physiologicallythrough breath, movement, sound,
(28:50):
and then we've like we've comeback for ourselves, we went back
for ourselves.
Joya (28:53):
Oh, I love that we went back for ourselves.
Andrea (28:55):
We went back for ourselves.
I'm coming back for you.
You're not stuck in that memoryanymore, with those coping
mechanisms that were great atthe time, and I honor you and
I'm grateful for you that youwere there for me in the way
that I needed.
And I'm coming back for you andI'm going to provide safety for
(29:17):
you, love you unconditionallyand I'm going to guide you and
see you with wisdom from myheart and my soul and we're
going to do this together fromthis point forward, and what
happens is there's anintegration that happens and
(29:38):
it's.
You know, I think sometimes,when we get become adults, we
think we still need our parentor whoever, whoever, to be what
we need them to be.
But who we're really waitingfor is that part of us to come
back and be there with us and tosee us and know us.
(30:00):
And there's just a beautifulliberation to that that you
don't even need someone else tobe healthier or healed because
you can return back to wholenessby returning back to yourself,
those tender places.
Joya (30:20):
That is so beautiful.
I love that.
I feel like I want to do alittle winter solstice practice
and you know, and thinking, andalso thinking about just from
time, from a quantum point ofview, it's like I can go talk to
my little self right now.
I could write her a letter andsay, hey, I'm back for you.
I'm promise I'm coming back foryou.
(30:41):
It's like oh, how precious isthat.
I just love that so much.
That really touched my heart.
Andrea (30:47):
Oh yeah, and you know it's interesting.
For the longest time, you know,I was doing things you know,
inner family systems and andaccessing and connecting with it
with my mind.
But it wasn't until I reallylike, allowed myself to into me.
I see intimacy andvulnerability from my heart to
(31:08):
that heart.
That's when things likedeepened, where the real it
wasn't just theoretical, itwasn't like I'm going through
the mechanics and doing thestrategy, exercising, exercising
the skillfulness.
It was really about fosteringan intimate relationship with
(31:29):
the authentic essence of thatmoment, with the authentic
essence of my heart, momenttogether.
And that's when it felt reallygenuine and authentic.
It wasn't just a strategy, itwas.
It was heart to heart, rereunion, ultimately like a
(31:52):
reunion, yeah.
Joya (31:54):
And you know, I know for me and probably and probably for
so many other people too, that,having gone through and it
doesn't even matter how muchtrauma you went through, right,
because, as I love Dr PeterLevine's quote about trauma when
he said it's not what happensto us, it's what we're holding
inside in the absence of anempathetic witness.
And so I feel like one person'strauma could be just as
(32:18):
traumatic as another person'strauma, depending on how they've
interpreted that experiencewithin themselves and they're
holding it inside right.
So I feel like, having donethat work, there was a place I
got stuck for a long time andthat was in the
intellectualizing of things, andI saw something recently that
said, if you're stuck in yourbrain, it's because your
(32:41):
emotions are shut off, and I'mcurious about if you think
that's true.
Andrea (32:46):
Well, I think that part of why we jumped into our head
in the first place is becauseour heart got injured, and so it
became a very safe strategy todisengage here and go over here
and again it's.
It gets stuck in a gear andgoing back into trusting
(33:09):
ourselves, going back to trustand is going back to those
spaces that didn't feel verysafe to be in.
And the first time.
Because if we come in as asopen-hearted people and then
we're sensitive beings in aninsensitive environment, it
makes sense that we wouldcontract.
(33:32):
That's actually smart, right,exactly.
I mean, that's what jellyfishdo, you know.
They do this and then they dothis and to be able to do this
and do this.
But what happens is is we dothis and then we go here and
then we're kind of in thisprotective shell, but then we
(33:57):
also don't let joy come in,right, we keep this here, but we
also keep this, know, keep thisfrom injuring us again.
So we're going into scan mode,but then we also are not
experiencing the full capacityof joy either, Right?
Joya (34:18):
So yeah, so we get to be the other part's shut down too.
Andrea (34:25):
Yeah, it can.
Yeah, because it didn't feelsafe to feel like, because the
feelings either happened toomuch, too fast, too soon or, you
know, we were disconnected fromourself, the present moment, uh
, support system and our and ourbody right.
So that's actually a veryinnate intelligence that we have
inside of us that kicks in thegear for self-preservation.
(34:46):
The challenge is is that whenthat gear stays stuck in
(35:09):
self-preservation, we form otherpersonality traits and ways of
operating to either numb orcontrol or dominate or react as
kind of these secondarymechanisms, and that gets us
further and further away fromour authentic self, not closer,
because we've we've been soimpacted by that and it just we
perpetuate our trauma in thatway.
So how we can unhook ourselvesfrom that and create a pattern
interruption, ultimately, is tohave the courage which comes
from corazón core, which is ourheart, you know.
(35:30):
To have the courage to go backinto the space that did not feel
safe and to create safety there.
Go back into a space wherethere was a withholding of love
because of somebody else'strauma, story, narrative
perception, that wasn't seeingthe truth of love and light
(35:52):
right in front of their face.
Yeah, and I get to go back andacknowledge that you were
innocent, pure love, light, joy.
You were bringing anopportunity to this system that
was not able to hold that orfind that within themselves
because they forgot who they areand where they come from which
(36:17):
is love, yeah, and they just,you know, and families
perpetuate their family patternsbecause they haven't been
taught.
Joya (36:24):
And up until like our generation or maybe the
generation before, like peoplegoing to therapy, people talking
about these things, most peopledidn't.
It was kind of like what staysin the family stays in the
family and closed doors.
And I know for me and I'mcurious too if you find this in
your clients when I freed myself, well, what really helped me to
(36:46):
free was starting to do theembodiment work, because then I
was like, okay, there's, this isbeyond my logical mind.
I teach mindfulness, I do allthese things, but I'm still
doing this automatic behaviorwith that that seems like it
feels like a robot or some partof me that takes over that I
have no control over.
And when I started asking whatthat was, I started like going
(37:09):
into my body and feeling whereit was and I realized that its
root was anxiety sitting in mysolar plexus and that the
anxiety was equal in the amountof the feeling of anxiety, as if
something terrible werehappening to me when something
really great was happening to me, but my nervous system would
(37:30):
not allow it.
Andrea (37:32):
Right, right, it runs up and down the same nervous
system.
Excitement and fear go up anddown the same highway in our
nervous system, and so that thediscernment, the nervous system,
can't discern whether you'rejust excited about something or
scared of something, and so thatgets kind of coupled together
(37:54):
in this kind of confusing way.
Yeah, and I think it also goes.
It's interesting, the solarplex, because solar plex is our
power, you know, know.
So where is it that theenvironment had power over us or
we?
We gave away our power toappease or please, or comply, or
(38:19):
that we didn't, weren't strongenough to be in our authentic
power and people to hold spacefor that kind of power, that
Royal power within and nurturethat.
And you're curious about that,right?
So that's where I would go withthat exploration and this power
, this power center.
You know it's the, the center,the seat of life, it's the heart
(38:45):
.
But it's also here, like, wherethese places the heart and the
power, they're neighbors, theygo together.
They go together.
That's a very common thing, atleast, as I've found in my own
processes how to bring theenergy from the earth to root me
(39:05):
in this.
You know, clear out thefear-based and bring in this
earth-based anchoring and thenalso this light energy pushing,
you know, pouring through andit's interesting as things kind
of clear up and down.
This is kind of a reallyinteresting juncture point where
(39:28):
the ethereal body is wanting topush down and the primal body
is wanting to be updated, youknow, and here is like the
center tension point ofintegration where you know we
get to play with and be curiousabout like Ooh, what is?
Because we actually have tostart remembering and trusting
(39:52):
what is that power within me?
When I was so little that I getto like that seed inside of me
and I get to give it optimal, anoptimal environment with soil
and water and sunshine and, andmaybe I don't even know what
that even power looks like andfeels like and I'm uncertain and
(40:15):
I'm unsure, and I get to staycurious, like tell me, tell me
who you are, tell me what I am,and yeah, and there's an
uncertainty and we, you know themind wants to like, have
certainty, and then it can shutdown this, this birthing, right,
(40:35):
it's like a seed moment, it'slike we are a seed, you know,
the seed of life, just like inall things that grow, things
that grow, we're, we're notseparate from that we're it, our
heart is the, is the seed, theseed of life.
And so if we can look at us asour own sacred geometry portal,
(40:56):
conduit of bringing heaven onearth, you know, and that this
anchor here is like thisfrequency and knowing how to
bring it through unconsciousembodiment practices, how do we
use the power of our breath andmovement and sound to help bring
this frequency into this vessel, sacred vessel, the sacrum, you
(41:23):
know this, our sacrum is asacred vessel.
You know and like, how do weplay with that energy?
How do we bring that energydown?
How do we bring that energy up?
How do we move it around?
How do we expand it out?
You know, like that's a lot ofenergy to generate.
And if you're little and nobodyguided you how to play with
(41:44):
that, and it felt like, andnobody guided you how to play
with that, and it felt like, oh,this is.
And we get to like, thaw outthe ice cube and start looking
again.
Joya (41:53):
Oh, I love that thought that I once heard a friend of
mine told me every tear isthawing out the ice cube you put
around your heart, and I lovedthat.
I was like, oh, it's true, it'slike a picture just drip melt,
drip, melt.
Yeah, I wanted to just say whenI was reading your bio I love
the way that you're teachingteachers by going through the
(42:14):
process themselves and makingsure that they're doing the work
, because there are so manyteachers out there now that are
popping up everywhere that aresaying all the things but they
don not, they don't necessarilyhave an embodied wisdom and
embodied knowing of what it isthat they're talking about.
(42:34):
So I just wanted to say that Ireally appreciate and love that
you're doing that and that it'ssuch a long process that it's a
10 month program to go through,where some people might be like
10 months, that's a long time,but it's.
Andrea (42:46):
It takes that long to really do the work, you're
unlearning and then you'rerelearning and you know, a lot
of times that's why I like thecontainer, because it's a
community, right, you're, you'reeveryone's committed to healing
themselves, other people,they're investing the time and
what's interesting, that happensin group dynamics is your
(43:08):
family system stuff right.
So you're not just like in asilo, you get to really use
yourself as part of the materialprocess.
You know like whoa, what'scoming up?
I just got triggered.
What is that about?
Hmm, let me process that inreal time in this safe, loving,
(43:30):
curious, wise container where weactually can be embodied.
Right, instead of it'sinteresting, a lot of you know
religious traditions or eveneducational traditions is like,
oh well, I'm here and I'm herenow and then that's it.
And it's like, well, you know,really it's a process.
(43:53):
It's like, hmm, I'm stilllearning about myself, I'm still
growing, I'm still evolving,right, we're never done,
otherwise we're dead.
So you know, I think there's ashame that can happen like, well
, I know and that's, and so I'mdone, and then you go teach
other people, but then you'renot still in the evolutionary
(44:16):
process and so, and people feelthat, people feel that whether
you're really embodied or not,whether you're really devoted,
devoted devotion.
There's a devotion to growth, Iagree.
There's an investment of timeand commitment and I think that
(44:36):
that's as a healer, as a I don'teven maybe not even using the
word healer right as a, as aguide.
I look at it even like as aguide, because even healer needs
somebody to be wounded or inyou know, it's in your identity,
it's part of it.
It's you're really a guide inthat you've gone to spaces and
(44:58):
places within yourself thatyou've explored, that you have
understanding of your owndarkness and your own light and
your own wholeness, and whereyou're in shadow and when what
parts are still gettingactivated that you're like oh,
let me get curious about that.
Like I want to be free fromjust.
(45:18):
I want to respond, not react.
Or I want to like why am Igetting all like stirred up here
?
Why am I like how am Ico-creating?
And staying stuck in the muck?
Like, ooh, I want to.
That's requiring a lot ofeffort and energy.
Like Hmm, yeah.
Yeah, right, so it's ongoingprocess of growth, you know, and
(45:43):
just that devotion, yeah.
Joya (45:44):
I would say that I guess a teacher, teacher or guide or a
facilitator or a person who Iwould say I create the space for
people to be able to do thehealing work, to be able to feel
safe, to go to go deep withinand to and to release whatever's
there.
And do you feel and this iswhat I want people listening,
who are diving into this work,to doing this work Is this a
(46:07):
process that people can gothrough on their own, or is it
more skillfully facilitated in agroup or with a coach or with a
therapist?
What are your thoughts on that?
Andrea (46:20):
I think that there's many different roads to roam.
I think that there is really anindividual process.
I think that there's an innatehealing intelligence that lives
inside of all of us and whatmight work for me may be
different from what works forsomebody else.
And so I think, exploring,trying different things, think
(46:50):
exploring trying differentthings, reading different books,
doing as a self-study, see howthat resonates, see if you are
wired to be more in community,that you really thrive in
community and being witnessedand witnessing, having that
one-on-one intimate attentionwhere you're really doing this
inner work, but feeling safe,like okay, like you're my only
witness around these places andspaces, and I'm not really ready
(47:12):
for, like to expose that inthis group setting right so, but
maybe someday I will, and maybesomeday, like that'll be a next
layer of my growth, or you knowso.
I think it really is veryindividual, or you know so, I
think it really is veryindividual, it's very unique,
and I the best way is to trydifferent things and see what
(47:33):
resonates, what feels like, whatyou need right now, in that
moment, and you'll have theanswer, and discovering that.
Joya (47:42):
You get to use your discernment and self-trust.
Andrea (47:44):
I developed that right.
You know, it's interesting.
There was a moment with ajourney that I was going through
and it was like the first timethat I really allowed myself to
be authentically mad.
I was like I'm mad.
I don't think I was allowed tohave a temper tantrum as a kid.
Everyone else was, but I wasn't, and I was like this is
(48:06):
backwards.
Tantrum as a kid.
Everyone else was, but I wasn't, and I was like this is
backwards, but I let myself.
I broke some rules that Icreated for myself.
I don't ever want to be likethat, but I allowed myself to
just be in my authentic angerand I don't know my
five-year-olds, I don't likethat.
You were listening to me, rightand what I found when I
(48:27):
actually allowed myself to beauthentic and real with my anger
, is that sadness was underneathit and I got to.
Really I needed to tap into theanger and allow myself to do
that so that I could actuallyaccess what was underneath, so
that I could actually accesswhat was underneath.
And when I did that, it wasjust like oh, I found parts of
(48:52):
myself that I had right that Iwas able to go back to.
And it was interesting as I wasin that process, I, you know, I
ended up doing some work on myown in the garden and I was just
, like you know, cuddling myself, and then, all of a sudden,
like somebody walked by one ofthe facilitators and I was like,
oh, hi, hi, I need your helpwith something.
(49:14):
And she's like, and she's like,uh, yeah, what do you need?
And I was like, can I have ahug?
And she said give me, give meone moment, I'll, I'll be right
back.
And I was like, huh, she didn'tgive me, give me one moment,
I'll be right back.
And I was like, huh, she didn'tgive me the hug that I needed.
And I sat there, I was like,okay, and then I went back.
Then I was like doing this, andthen all of a sudden, oh, you
(49:41):
don't need the hug from thatperson, you need that hug from
me.
And so to be a guide is to knowwhen you intervene and when you
let the person's own innatehealing intelligence come
(50:03):
through.
And that requires a subtleattunement and awareness,
because it would have been easyfor her to give me a hug, but
there was something inside ofher, because she was so attuned
to herself that she didn't wantto enable me, yeah, that she
wanted, that there was anopportunity there that she
(50:24):
didn't rescue me from, because Ididn't need to be rescued, that
I think a part of me felt thatI did and that if she had, I
would have missed thatopportunity to just be with oh,
I'll hug you.
And I was like oh.
(50:53):
And then that part of me waslike that, finally got to feel
like a that even if she hadgiven me a hug wouldn't have
gone as deep right and she's notgoing to be there next time you
feel like that and you need ahug, but I will be yeah, I
always will be because Iexpanded my capacity to meet
myself there and to be therewith myself and to be that for
(51:16):
myself that nobody can ever giveto me or ever take away.
But I needed to be in it andtrust it, trust myself that I'm
enough, that my love and mypresence is enough, and so that
translates as a healer whenyou're able to like have that
relationship with.
(51:37):
Now I'm with my clients and asthey're struggling, I don't feel
that I need to like be theirrescuer, Like a part of me felt
that I needed a rescue, right.
So it just becomes this realunlearning that you may not
notice that you do Like why do Ido that?
(51:58):
And so it just slows everythingdown and there's like these
little moments that now becomememories Like ah, that memory of
like reunification with my, myset, my five-year-old self that
now feels a deep sense of safetyand love in my arms.
Joya (52:18):
That is so beautiful and so powerful and exactly what
this work does.
That's what liberating yourtrue self is right, that it's
like I've got my back, I trustmyself.
I trust myself not to violatemy own boundaries because I
don't harm myself.
Andrea (52:34):
Right, I don't put myself in spaces and places that
maybe at one point in time Ididn't have a choice.
And now we get to say, like I'mgoing to, you know, this isn't
working and my loyalty is tocreate, re and keep that safety
and love.
For that part, that's likeshaking, that maybe feels
(52:56):
uncomfortable.
It's like, well, you know whatI, I trust you that that
shakiness inside is telling usthat this doesn't feel like a
really supportive environment,or that they're not really in a
space right now to have anopen-hearted, vulnerable
conversation of curiosity, right.
And so we get to like say, youknow what, this isn't the right
(53:17):
time, and we'll chat about itlater, when we're in a good
space, that we that therethere's a space for that
functionality, right, and so,and and so.
It's really like connecting,being connected to and and
trusting even that fear.
Like fear is like maybe Ooh, Iremember feeling that way before
(53:39):
, that I like stuff down, andnow I don't stuff it down
anymore.
It's like it's wisdom, it'slike powerful wisdom in that
inner child, like that's lettingme know, like ick or yummy.
Joya (53:53):
Yeah, and I feel like the inner child's power is there
because of the fact that it's sopresent with whatever is all
the time.
Meeting the presence at thepresent moment with it, with
what is, and deciding how tointeract with it from a point of
view that's not wounded, I feellike, is where that freedom
comes from.
Andrea (54:13):
There's a total freedom there, yeah, and to be able to
notice like, ooh, there's awound there, like let me pause
and let me not try to heal thatwound in this moment with this
other unwounded, other woundedper.
Like that's not going to healthat wound in this moment, with
this other wounded, like that'snot gonna create anything.
It's like, ooh, okay.
Joya (54:30):
Or.
Andrea (54:30):
I'm in my healed place while somebody else is in their
wounded place and I can just bea loving presence to myself and
trust that I'll know how tonavigate that in real time.
That is for the goodness of allparties involved, even if they
don't see that as such in thatmoment.
But you're actually ensuring ahealthy opportunity space for if
(54:57):
and when they're ready for thatlevel of space connection.
Joya (55:04):
Where would you recommend?
So last question I know we're.
I'm like gosh.
I knew this time would go fastand I could talk to you for
probably more podcast episodesand there's so many things so
deeply.
But for people listening whoare like, oh my gosh, she's
speaking to my heart, she'sspeaking to me.
This is where I'm at, this iswhat I want to work through.
Number one what words of wisdomwould you like to share?
(55:27):
And then number two if somebodyfeels like I really need to
know this woman, I really wantto work with her.
Where can they find you?
And do you have any juicyfreebies or giveaways?
Or where can we find your book?
All those good things?
Andrea (55:39):
Wonderful.
Well, if you like my voice andyou like what you're hearing and
you would like little,bite-sized tastes that you get
to integrate in your day-to-daylife, I have a book on Audible
called no Longer Burnt Out, I'mBusy.
It's designed for a busy personin mind, mindset, trusting
(56:02):
yourself, conscious embodiment,practices that are really
user-friendly, five minutes aday that really you can
incorporate in your life.
The other things I have on mywebsite, andreacorellacom.
I have three meditations.
One is around living free.
(56:22):
One is around trusting yourselfand liberating yourself.
So those are about 10 minuteseach.
So those are really ways todrop into your core essence and
trust yourself and reinforcethat new relationship,
remembering and reconnecting tothat essence of who you are,
(56:45):
reconnecting to that essence ofwho you are, and they help
support that.
And then, if you're interestedin attending my mentorship
program, you can head over to mywebsite and send me a message
and I can let you know when thenext cohort is starting, which
is next year.
We'll be starting again in endof January, beginning of
February 2025.
Joya (57:01):
So this is perfect timing.
Yes, yes, yes, and your finalwords of wisdom for people who
are doing this work yeah, um,find your tribe.
Andrea (57:13):
Find a tribe that can uh , see you, um, as you are seeing
yourself, connect to your heart, be authentic to who you truly
are.
Even if it's unpopular and evenif somebody doesn't understand,
(57:33):
you believe that you are a giftand that you are enough, a
precious gift, and to be the.
Have the courage to be the fullexpression of that, so that we
have more light in the worldsand more love in the worlds,
more freedom in the worlds, realfreedom yeah, yeah.
Joya (57:59):
Well, andrea, thank you so much for being here and I'm
probably going to have to haveyou back for a part two, and you
know and then also to sharewith everyone the retreat idea
that we are working on togetherand that is exciting, all these
beautiful good things that I'mjust so grateful for, so, so, so
(58:21):
grateful for, and that, youknow, this is when I, when I
have friends like you and I havefriends like I have, and I have
this life that I've reallycreated.
It just makes me so grateful fordoing the work and for those
times that I was on my knees,sobbing, just letting out the
grief, and and and and the realacceptance of I can't change the
(58:43):
past.
I can only change and and andthe real acceptance of I can't
change the past.
I can only change who I am nowand what I'm doing and how I'm
showing up, and and when I getto have experiences like this
I'm having with you, it justmakes me feel so freaking
grateful and my, my intention isalways just to share.
If I can do it, anybody can.
Andrea (59:02):
Yes, yes, yeah, I think that.
Yeah, there's a, you know, it'slike a butterfly right, like
we're a caterpillar, and then wego into, like this liquid, the
goo you like, what is that?
That mess in the middle kind oftrans, transitional, airy phase
, you, and it's beautiful towatch, watch you, follow your
(59:26):
joy and follow your heart andshare your vibration.
So thank you for doing that,because that's it's medicine,
you know, sharing your medicinein the world and knowing what
that is, you know, and sharingyour medicine in the world.
Joya (59:46):
Wise woman, wise women unite.
Andrea (59:48):
Thank you Well have a wonderful rest of your day.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Joya (59:54):
Thank you for listening to we woke up like this.
Your likes, comments, sharesand subscribes help this content
reach new listeners, and I soappreciate you.
And remember, luminous one,that your radiant and magnetic
presence changes the world.
today on, we woke up like this.
I am speaking to the beautifuland gifted andrea carella.
Andrea is a sought aftertrauma-informed psychotherapist
with over 20 years of experiencein the field and is the
best-selling author of the bookno Longer Burned Out on Busy.
She developed the freedommethod and the care approach to
(00:29):
facilitate her clients' healingsomatic release, resiliency,
strengthening, self-love,nurturing and a return to
wholeness, higher consciousness,expansion and embodiment.
Recognizing that her uniqueapproach to holistic
trauma-informed treatment wasnot commonplace, she decided to
create the Holistic HealersAcademy, where she trains and
(00:51):
mentors therapists, healers andwellness professionals over the
course of 10 months toexperience the personal benefits
of a trauma approach whichnurtures and honors one's whole
body, spirit, heart and mind,and to learn how to incorporate
these effective and cutting edgeapproaches to supporting their
(01:11):
current and future clients.
As part of her academy, menteesalso attend quarterly in-person
gatherings where they undergotheir own ketamine assisted
psychotherapy experience, aswell as learning how to support
and hold space for others goingthrough their own
ketamine-assisted psychotherapyexperience, as well as learning
how to support and hold spacefor others going through their
own process.
She teaches how to prepare forthe discovery session,
(01:32):
facilitate the discovery sessionand utilize the power of
integration.
Phase of treatment.
Andrea, I'm so honored to haveyou here with me and I also love
your tagline, which I want tosay nurturing hearts,
transforming lives, enhancingwell-being.
Andrea (01:50):
Thank you for having me.
It's such a joy to be with you.
Joya (01:58):
Oh my gosh, it's so exciting to have you here.
And before we start, I justwant to say how we met, because
it was so unique and so unusual,and we met while waiting in
line to hug Ama the huggingsaint.
Andrea (02:09):
Yes, you were number 10 in line and I was number 11.
Joya (02:14):
And we probably got there like six in the morning, we did,
and we just started talking andcompletely hit it off.
And then, of course, as you dowith people, that you meet in
other states and in lines andall of those things like, oh,
let's stay in touch.
And then we didn't.
And then, many months later, Iwas asked by a friend of mine to
facilitate a sound bath for herfriend who was coming into town
(02:37):
.
And guess who that friend was?
No coincidences, right, thereare not.
And we immediately just said,okay, there's a reason that we
met and we're supposed to stayin touch, and so that, as we've
been talking, I instantly, as Igot to know you better, asked
you to be on my podcast, and I'mso honored that you said yes.
Andrea (02:58):
so thank you so I love the work that you're doing in
the world and your resonance,your frequency, you know it
really resonates with me andwith so many.
So I'm glad that we came backinto the same sphere once again,
in a different state this time.
Joya (03:16):
Yeah, me too, and I'm really excited to have you being
in this beginning series oftalks for this year, because
this whole year is aboutembodiment, liberating your true
self, embodying your true self,and so for you to be kicking us
off with talking about whatdoes self liberation mean?
What is that whole topic?
(03:38):
I mean, it's a big topic, butyou, as a therapist, you've been
in this work for a long time.
What does that mean to you forself-liberation?
What does that even mean?
Andrea (03:47):
You know, the reality is is that we come into this world
with a truth, with an essence,with a frequency, with a heart,
and things happen along the way.
We get bumped, we get bruised,we get different narratives in
the social scape unconsciousness, people withholding love
(04:10):
narratives, all this stuff thatgets really confusing and gets
us really either disconnected,anxious in our head, trying to
figure things out, and we losetouch with that authentic
essence and truth of who we arethat lives in and abides and
(04:33):
resides in our heart and in oursoul.
And so that is the first placeto really return back to
ultimately is to really beintimate with those spaces and
places in our heart and in oursoul where we disconnected from,
to figure things out that ledto our own oppression,
(04:54):
repression, depression and, yeah, so liberating ourselves is
really remembering what weforgot.
Ultimately, remembering what weforgot oh.
Joya (05:10):
I love that and I actually just had that.
I wrote that in a talk that I'mworking, that it's actually
like health, a true healing isreturning to the self we were
not allowed to be was kind ofthe way that I had it.
That it's like, oh yeah, it'sall these things that you know.
As I dug into my own story thatI was like you know what's
beneath that and you know, whenyou start doing the work it
(05:32):
starts getting deeper and you'relike what's beneath that?
What's beneath that?
And and at the bottom of thosefeelings, I realized there was
this feeling of it's not okay tobe who you are.
Who you are needs to bedifferent, and that message, of
course, came from my environment.
Andrea (05:50):
Yes, and I and what I think it comes down to is not
being understood, for the uniqueessence that you are and it's
our responsibility, if we wantto be healthy, whole and free,
is to return back to thosespaces that got misfiled,
misorganized, even, not justfrom others, but how we we
(06:13):
oppressed ourselves or rejectedourselves.
And so going back to thosespaces and places and bringing
love to places and spaces wherelove was denied or presence
wasn't, met in that moment withcuriosity.
Joya (06:31):
So we get to do that, we get to extend that curiosity and
compassion for the places thatwere rejected or misunderstood,
and I find I've found on my work, my journey and I'm curious if
you find this too that thoseplaces that I'm self rejecting,
(06:51):
that I am self abandoning, arethose exact same places that
need to be looked at and need tobe loved Totally and I think
sometimes there's theseprotections that are there, that
that came to protect thosevulnerable places and spaces
inside of ourselves.
Andrea (07:10):
So even just even having that awareness that right there
, right next to thatvulnerability, may be a
protective mechanism of reaction, or may be a protective
mechanism of fear and avoidance,or maybe right there of you
know, managing, micromanagingand trying to be perfect, right
(07:33):
Like it might be right there,and so that part also needs love
and a vacation.
Joya (07:43):
All the parts of me need love and a vacation.
I'm just gonna say and justbeing grateful.
Andrea (07:48):
like you know, I'm grateful for this perfectionist
part that went up into my headto figure things out and to be
in strategy and skillfulnavigation right, and sometimes
you know that's all in well andgood, but if we live and keep
reinforcing that, we're stillreinforcing that.
Joya (08:10):
I need that, and so even peeling back the layers of like
and what's that part that feltvulnerable, the more that we can
get intimate with thatvulnerability at the root of our
heart, where love, the juncturebetween pain and love that
lives in our heart and extendlove there and curiosity and
(08:35):
stillness yeah, I found that somuch of doing the work is being
willing to just be present withwhat is, even when it completely
sucks, without needing tochange it, without feeling like
I need to change it, and notnecessarily that I'm going
through it so much as I'maccepting like it feels like,
the more that I can just go intoloving acceptance and switch
(08:59):
into, instead of self judgment,switch into self kindness,
self-judgment switch intoself-kindness, that it seems to
start to lose its tightness thatit has on me.
Andrea (09:09):
Yeah, it's true, I, and I think that's where this is a
beautiful time of year.
You know, winter solstice it's,it's really a time.
It's interesting how it'sbecome very commercialized.
It's just all about themovement but and this and that
and the celebration and thegoing here and going there, but
really, ultimately, wintersolstice is, in its purest of
senses, is a quiet time, a timeof of darkness and stillness and
(09:36):
turning inward and quiet andallowing the light to meet us
there in the dark, to be able tobe in the dark and to see.
And if we don't slow downenough or get still enough or
get turned inward enough, we'regoing to miss this beautiful
gift of this time.
(09:56):
So I love that you're doinghaving this conversation about
liberation, because sometimes,in order to go far, we have to
go inward and we have to slowdown.
Joya (10:07):
Yes, that's kind of the paradox of it.
Right, it is.
Yeah, yeah, it's a paradox, forsure, and it does feel like
it's a.
It's a big slowing down and I,you know, as as we, we are in
winter and I'm like I'm here inArizona and I was just telling
you it's so hot, it's probably80 degrees outside today it's so
cold, so it doesn't to me likerhythmically.
(10:29):
I'm talking about right In therhythm of life, in the rhythm of
the seasons, in the rhythm ofhow I'm trying to move, which is
much more slowly and morerhythmically paced with nature.
It's hard when it's like this,where it's like it feels like
it's summertime, I'm in my busytime, but the reality is, yeah,
it is the time to slow down, tobe quiet, to go inward, to um,
(10:53):
to go at that slower pace wherewe just kind of take a pause and
look inside the power of thepause.
Andrea (11:01):
Yes, yeah, I mentioned that in my book no Longer Burnt
Out.
I'm Busy Because oftentimeslike for me, from what I saw as
the through line with in workingwith trauma is busyness is a
trauma response.
And you know, not only can wehave individual trauma, but we
(11:25):
can have collective trauma thatwe're dealing with right, where
we don't want to be intimatewith the discomfort of something
, and so we get busy to give usa false sense of movement and
resolution when maybe we have tosit in the discomfort and
expand our capacity to be withwhat is to be, with what's
(11:46):
uncomfortable, so that we cangrow, so we can actually not be
intimidated by the discomfortbut sit with the discomfort, be
curious about the discomfort andseek to understand or connect
to and breathe through, andthere's something magical that
(12:09):
happens when we do that, when weactually allow ourselves to
trust that and cocoon ourselvesultimately in that kind of that
discomfort.
We sit with it long enough.
At least I found this out formyself is being in it If you sit
with it long enough and youallow yourself to expand at
least I found this out formyself is being in it If you sit
with it long enough and youallow yourself to expand in the
(12:29):
capacity to be with it.
Love meets you there, lightmeets you there.
There's just a stillness thatyou get, but you, if you're too
busy, you're never going toexperience that.
That comfort that comes and be.
It's very subtle.
It's very subtle and yeah,there's something really
(12:51):
beautiful about that.
Even in a dark moment or evenin a hard moment, if we get
still enough and quiet enoughand are present enough with it
and just authentic with that,then something else meets us
there in that place, in ourheart.
Joya (13:07):
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
That is so beautiful.
That's so beautiful and itfeels.
You know, as you're saying that, that it is this very subtle
love meets you there.
And you know one of my favoritequotes about trauma and I want
to dive into trauma because somany people now are really
starting to do the deeper work,they're starting to real and, at
(13:30):
least in my sphere, in my world, people are really starting to
now take a look and stop withthe blaming and that it's out
there and starting to look inhere and saying, not in blame,
but in what in me is asking forhelp and healing.
Healing that I just keeprepeating self-sabotaging cycles
or I'm chronically busy, or I'min these crappy relationships
(13:52):
with people that are causing allthis drama and chaos.
And you, you start to kind ofreally literally your, as your
frequency changes, you kind ofjust don't resonate with it
anymore.
But that doesn't mean it's easy, that does not mean it's easy.
Andrea (14:07):
It's not easy, and I think that, the more that we can
be in an authentic, healthy,functional, loving relationship
with ourselves, where weactually meet ourselves with all
the spaces and places and partsof us, and even our shadow self
, even our inconvenient parts ofourselves, like the parts of us
(14:31):
that we're you know that and alot of times, what we ever we
see out there that we dislike isalso an indication of like.
Where do I reject that inmyself or or deny that?
That lives inside of me too,and I think there's a freedom
when we can even extendcompassion to that out there
that also not just, maybe mostlikely does abide and reside
(14:56):
inside of me too.
And the polarity of whateverthat is too the other side of
that.
And when you're still and quietand you slow it down, you're
not just at the mercy of theemotional, reactionary response.
You can actually respondinstead of react.
(15:17):
And I think that's where slowingdown, pumping the brakes, even
as the world is having its ownpumping the brakes, like even as
the world is having its ownhypnotic trance of shame and
blame and judgment, and you andthat, and just like whoa, what
made you think that?
What's that?
(15:38):
You know what?
What was that like for you?
Yeah, where, where are youcoming from?
And opening up a space of, oftrue empathy?
You know where you can actually, but not everyone can even have
that level of connection andconversation, right?
So what do you do in thosemoments where you're being
(15:59):
skillful and wise and creating aspace and an invitation for
that diplomatic, open, skillful,effective, heart-to-heart
conversation where the otherperson's functioning at a
different level of consciousnessbecause they're just either
they don't know what they don'tknow, or they're not interested,
or you know.
And then how do you untangleyourself from that so you can
(16:21):
stay in authentic relationshipwith the frequency that you're
committed to operating from andliving from.
And sometimes that requires usto take a step back so that we
can stay in authentic love ofourselves and authentic love of
the other person when they'renot being loving towards
(16:41):
themselves or us, or there'skind of a an energetics there
that you're just like, I'll just, why don't we, why don't we
just pause here, like this isn'tgoing to go anywhere effective?
Joya (16:50):
Yeah, yeah, and that's I mean again with the pause again,
right, that it could be like wedon't have to engage, we can
agree to disagree.
You said a loving healthyrelationship with ourself.
Andrea (17:07):
What does that look like ?
You know?
I, for me, what it looks likeis the feeling of the resonance
you know of in a, in a cabin, offeeling peaceful, of going for
a walk outside, surrounded bytrees, being by nature laughing
(17:41):
with my kids hugging, my husbandcocooning in my really
beautiful warm, cozy comforter,listening to meditation.
That really elevates me and,yeah, and that's that's what it
is, anything that that createsthat.
And connecting with a friend,having you know this synergy.
Uh, it's like, yes, thank you,more please.
Like I want more of that in mylife.
(18:03):
And and as, as you go throughand see, like, what matches that
and what can't, that'simportant to notice, to move
towards what elevates that andreinforces that, and and be able
to move away from and discern,use impeccable discernment of
(18:24):
get to choose.
I get to consciously choose.
You know what frequency I wantto radiate at and maintain, and
then what things pull me, pullme in a different direction,
that that enter me into adifferent frequency that I I'm
not interested in operating fromor surrounding myself with.
Joya (18:43):
Yeah, what role?
I'm curious, what role doesself-trust play in cultivating
that healthy relationship withyourself?
Andrea (18:56):
Well, I think self-trust is and self-trust, you know
it's very interesting is youknow what are the foundations
that we have, where the trust inour own knowing was supported
by others and where I think it'shard for us to trust ourselves
(19:16):
is where, maybe situationally orfrequently, other people forced
you to override your ownknowing.
And I think that's where itgets really confusing, because
as kids, we're attached, we'reattached to our family and we
need them to survive.
And if they needed a compliantchild or they judged you or took
(19:42):
away love, if you were adefiant child, then it's going
to be really tricky to trustyourself because someone in the
system can't tolerate or holdspace for your unique essence or
your own unique way, or evenmeet you with curiosity and
understanding right.
So if that didn't happen, thenthe trusting of self is going to
(20:07):
feel a little unstable oremotionally confusing or there's
a codependency that's there.
There's a skewed attachment,conditional loving, all mixed
together and that's going tomake trusting ourselves
complicated.
So untangling ourselves fromthat is and returning back to
(20:28):
trusting ourselves is going toall those places and places
where you didn't trust yourselfor you overrode your knowingness
or somebody else required youin order to be in a connected
relationship to override yourown inner knowingness.
To override your own innerknowingness because or you
wanted to avoid conflict in thatmoment, or you didn't feel
strong enough, or you didn'tfeel that the person was
(20:50):
receptive enough.
Now you see how complextrusting ourselves can be if it
wasn't, we weren't in securerelationships that honored and
nurtured our inner knowing, andso we have to go back to those
spaces and places and meetourselves there and be the
parent, be the sibling, be themeet that part, and say hey, I
(21:15):
get you, I know.
Yeah, and I feel like this iswhere the work that you're doing
with no-transcript, back intothe vulnerability of the heart,
(21:56):
where the wound lives of likenot being not being loved, not
being met with curiosity,patience, presence, assisted
(22:25):
psychotherapy really opens up awindow of tolerance that we can
go back to those spaces andplaces without feeling
overwhelmed or kicking intothose, those mechanisms to try
to get into our head, causethat's a very common thing when
we go back into our heart, we'regoing to go back into, like,
our head, because our headhelped us survive and figure
things out, and so thatmechanism is going to like in a
(22:46):
way, help you, but it also nowgets in the way of the deeper
layers of intimacy andvulnerability, and that's that's
what we need is be able to goback to those spaces and places
and feel that we can createsafety again in those moments in
inside of ourselves, in thosetender places and spaces in our
(23:06):
heart, and create unconditionallove and compassion and wisdom,
a perspective, and to see thoseparts of ourselves that were
unseen by others ormisunderstood, and understand.
(23:26):
And there's a beautiful healingthat happens there, that's
embodied, you know it's in you,yes, and then your capacity to
meet other people in that wayexpands as well.
Joya (23:38):
I did have a plant, a plant journey that got me in
touch with my little girl self,who she I could feel like.
I could feel it took me.
It took me right back to beingin that place and and
remembering, because, like as anadult, you forget, like we, I
blocked off how I felt as achild, right, but when I
(24:01):
encountered this little self, Icould feel all the things that
she was going through and Icould also feel how freaking
strong she was.
I was like holy cow, thislittle girl is a force.
And she told me she's.
And she just said to me youneed to grieve because I didn't
have time to.
(24:21):
Oh yeah, and it the.
And then I just sobbed in likefor like two hours.
It was ridiculous.
Andrea (24:28):
I was in my backyard under a tree, just sobbing and
just crying and without thestory right, it was just like
cleansing feelings without thestory and that that, yeah,
sometimes the story orprocessing the story thinks
we're, we think we're actuallygetting somewhere, but actually
just being there in the release,in the sacred baptism of our
(24:52):
tears, you know, that youhonored, that finally had an
opportunity to be witnessed andto be held and to feel safe
enough to release, to be present, present to and presence.
There's an incredible lightnessthat opens up, I would imagine.
(25:13):
I know for me, like the shaking,like the discharge from the
body, from the nervous system,just hours, just hours of just,
yeah, moving all that energy offear that you know, or that
holding, you know, that youdidn't even really realize was
(25:33):
there, that you gets to finallymove through.
And a lot of times it can alsobe ancestral epigenetics that
you're holding, that you mightbe, especially if you're a
sensitive empath, you couldactually be a surrogate, have
made yourself a surrogate forthe energies and the patterns of
the system of your family oforigin, which is holding a lot
(25:55):
of energy that's not even justours, right?
So there's also an opportunitywhere there's that safety that
opens up in the nervous system,with the support of the nature,
that allows us to return to ourtrue nature, independent of
story, independent of thisepigenetics, an opening of
(26:17):
release.
And okay, what's here?
What is my?
Who am I?
What am I?
Independent of this story,independent of this energy that
I've been holding onto, that wasmaybe not even mine, and
(26:37):
there's a freedom that happensin that, that, that liberation
of like oh, oh, there I am, yeah, oh, that's you, that's oh okay
, and sometimes, if you don't,you know, it just opens up that
space of, of perception andperspective.
Joya (26:58):
And I found for me that and this is the part two of the
question is in going throughthat experience and clearing
that out, finding that innerfreedom and that liberation of
clearing out all that space,like there was so much grief
that was stuck in, stored inthere, that once that was free,
it's like, oh, I've got all thisspace in my heart now that,
(27:18):
taken up with all this griefthat it kind of naturally formed
, I guess it's a boundary itwould be the perfect word
because it formed like aboundary in me.
That's like an energeticboundary that I don't cross and
I feel like that if I don'tcross my own boundary, I don't
need to tell other people not tocross it.
It's like it's not an issue,it's my boundary.
Andrea (27:41):
Right, right, there's a there's a sovereignty that's the
perfect word sovereignty.
There's a sovereignty that,when you go back to those spaces
and places of fragmentationultimately of ourselves, that an
exiled part, for whateverreason somebody exiled, or we
exiled, or whatever and aprotective part of us or a
(28:03):
management part of us orfirefighter part of us, comes in
.
Right, that requires a lot ofenergy.
There's a lot of energy, maybeeven unconsciously, that stays
stuck in a gear.
Even if it's past that momentin time, we're still operating
in that gear in that way fordecades, right?
And so what it allows us to dois like go back to that space,
(28:28):
unlock that access point, unlockthat protective mechanism that
allows us to be like bring thatpast into the present, move
through it energetically,physiologically.
Energetically physiologicallythrough breath, movement, sound,
(28:50):
and then we've like we've comeback for ourselves, we went back
for ourselves.
Joya (28:53):
Oh, I love that we went back for ourselves.
Andrea (28:55):
We went back for ourselves.
I'm coming back for you.
You're not stuck in that memoryanymore, with those coping
mechanisms that were great atthe time, and I honor you and
I'm grateful for you that youwere there for me in the way
that I needed.
And I'm coming back for you andI'm going to provide safety for
(29:17):
you, love you unconditionallyand I'm going to guide you and
see you with wisdom from myheart and my soul and we're
going to do this together fromthis point forward, and what
happens is there's anintegration that happens and
(29:38):
it's.
You know, I think sometimes,when we get become adults, we
think we still need our parentor whoever, whoever, to be what
we need them to be.
But who we're really waitingfor is that part of us to come
back and be there with us and tosee us and know us.
(30:00):
And there's just a beautifulliberation to that that you
don't even need someone else tobe healthier or healed because
you can return back to wholenessby returning back to yourself,
those tender places.
Joya (30:20):
That is so beautiful.
I love that.
I feel like I want to do alittle winter solstice practice
and you know, and thinking, andalso thinking about just from
time, from a quantum point ofview, it's like I can go talk to
my little self right now.
I could write her a letter andsay, hey, I'm back for you.
I'm promise I'm coming back foryou.
(30:41):
It's like oh, how precious isthat.
I just love that so much.
That really touched my heart.
Andrea (30:47):
Oh yeah, and you know it's interesting.
For the longest time, you know,I was doing things you know,
inner family systems and andaccessing and connecting with it
with my mind.
But it wasn't until I reallylike, allowed myself to into me.
I see intimacy andvulnerability from my heart to
(31:08):
that heart.
That's when things likedeepened, where the real it
wasn't just theoretical, itwasn't like I'm going through
the mechanics and doing thestrategy, exercising, exercising
the skillfulness.
It was really about fosteringan intimate relationship with
(31:29):
the authentic essence of thatmoment, with the authentic
essence of my heart, momenttogether.
And that's when it felt reallygenuine and authentic.
It wasn't just a strategy, itwas.
It was heart to heart, rereunion, ultimately like a
(31:52):
reunion, yeah.
Joya (31:54):
And you know, I know for me and probably and probably for
so many other people too, that,having gone through and it
doesn't even matter how muchtrauma you went through, right,
because, as I love Dr PeterLevine's quote about trauma when
he said it's not what happensto us, it's what we're holding
inside in the absence of anempathetic witness.
And so I feel like one person'strauma could be just as
(32:18):
traumatic as another person'strauma, depending on how they've
interpreted that experiencewithin themselves and they're
holding it inside right.
So I feel like, having donethat work, there was a place I
got stuck for a long time andthat was in the
intellectualizing of things, andI saw something recently that
said, if you're stuck in yourbrain, it's because your
(32:41):
emotions are shut off, and I'mcurious about if you think
that's true.
Andrea (32:46):
Well, I think that part of why we jumped into our head
in the first place is becauseour heart got injured, and so it
became a very safe strategy todisengage here and go over here
and again it's.
It gets stuck in a gear andgoing back into trusting
(33:09):
ourselves, going back to trustand is going back to those
spaces that didn't feel verysafe to be in.
And the first time.
Because if we come in as asopen-hearted people and then
we're sensitive beings in aninsensitive environment, it
makes sense that we wouldcontract.
(33:32):
That's actually smart, right,exactly.
I mean, that's what jellyfishdo, you know.
They do this and then they dothis and to be able to do this
and do this.
But what happens is is we dothis and then we go here and
then we're kind of in thisprotective shell, but then we
(33:57):
also don't let joy come in,right, we keep this here, but we
also keep this, know, keep thisfrom injuring us again.
So we're going into scan mode,but then we also are not
experiencing the full capacityof joy either, Right?
Joya (34:18):
So yeah, so we get to be the other part's shut down too.
Andrea (34:25):
Yeah, it can.
Yeah, because it didn't feelsafe to feel like, because the
feelings either happened toomuch, too fast, too soon or, you
know, we were disconnected fromourself, the present moment, uh
, support system and our and ourbody right.
So that's actually a veryinnate intelligence that we have
inside of us that kicks in thegear for self-preservation.
(34:46):
The challenge is is that whenthat gear stays stuck in
(35:09):
self-preservation, we form otherpersonality traits and ways of
operating to either numb orcontrol or dominate or react as
kind of these secondarymechanisms, and that gets us
further and further away fromour authentic self, not closer,
because we've we've been soimpacted by that and it just we
perpetuate our trauma in thatway.
So how we can unhook ourselvesfrom that and create a pattern
interruption, ultimately, is tohave the courage which comes
from corazón core, which is ourheart, you know.
(35:30):
To have the courage to go backinto the space that did not feel
safe and to create safety there.
Go back into a space wherethere was a withholding of love
because of somebody else'strauma, story, narrative
perception, that wasn't seeingthe truth of love and light
(35:52):
right in front of their face.
Yeah, and I get to go back andacknowledge that you were
innocent, pure love, light, joy.
You were bringing anopportunity to this system that
was not able to hold that orfind that within themselves
because they forgot who they areand where they come from which
(36:17):
is love, yeah, and they just,you know, and families
perpetuate their family patternsbecause they haven't been
taught.
Joya (36:24):
And up until like our generation or maybe the
generation before, like peoplegoing to therapy, people talking
about these things, most peopledidn't.
It was kind of like what staysin the family stays in the
family and closed doors.
And I know for me and I'mcurious too if you find this in
your clients when I freed myself, well, what really helped me to
(36:46):
free was starting to do theembodiment work, because then I
was like, okay, there's, this isbeyond my logical mind.
I teach mindfulness, I do allthese things, but I'm still
doing this automatic behaviorwith that that seems like it
feels like a robot or some partof me that takes over that I
have no control over.
And when I started asking whatthat was, I started like going
(37:09):
into my body and feeling whereit was and I realized that its
root was anxiety sitting in mysolar plexus and that the
anxiety was equal in the amountof the feeling of anxiety, as if
something terrible werehappening to me when something
really great was happening to me, but my nervous system would
(37:30):
not allow it.
Andrea (37:32):
Right, right, it runs up and down the same nervous
system.
Excitement and fear go up anddown the same highway in our
nervous system, and so that thediscernment, the nervous system,
can't discern whether you'rejust excited about something or
scared of something, and so thatgets kind of coupled together
(37:54):
in this kind of confusing way.
Yeah, and I think it also goes.
It's interesting, the solarplex, because solar plex is our
power, you know, know.
So where is it that theenvironment had power over us or
we?
We gave away our power toappease or please, or comply, or
(38:19):
that we didn't, weren't strongenough to be in our authentic
power and people to hold spacefor that kind of power, that
Royal power within and nurturethat.
And you're curious about that,right?
So that's where I would go withthat exploration and this power
, this power center.
You know it's the, the center,the seat of life, it's the heart
(38:45):
.
But it's also here, like, wherethese places the heart and the
power, they're neighbors, theygo together.
They go together.
That's a very common thing, atleast, as I've found in my own
processes how to bring theenergy from the earth to root me
(39:05):
in this.
You know, clear out thefear-based and bring in this
earth-based anchoring and thenalso this light energy pushing,
you know, pouring through andit's interesting as things kind
of clear up and down.
This is kind of a reallyinteresting juncture point where
(39:28):
the ethereal body is wanting topush down and the primal body
is wanting to be updated, youknow, and here is like the
center tension point ofintegration where you know we
get to play with and be curiousabout like Ooh, what is?
Because we actually have tostart remembering and trusting
(39:52):
what is that power within me?
When I was so little that I getto like that seed inside of me
and I get to give it optimal, anoptimal environment with soil
and water and sunshine and, andmaybe I don't even know what
that even power looks like andfeels like and I'm uncertain and
(40:15):
I'm unsure, and I get to staycurious, like tell me, tell me
who you are, tell me what I am,and yeah, and there's an
uncertainty and we, you know themind wants to like, have
certainty, and then it can shutdown this, this birthing, right,
(40:35):
it's like a seed moment, it'slike we are a seed, you know,
the seed of life, just like inall things that grow, things
that grow, we're, we're notseparate from that we're it, our
heart is the, is the seed, theseed of life.
And so if we can look at us asour own sacred geometry portal,
(40:56):
conduit of bringing heaven onearth, you know, and that this
anchor here is like thisfrequency and knowing how to
bring it through unconsciousembodiment practices, how do we
use the power of our breath andmovement and sound to help bring
this frequency into this vessel, sacred vessel, the sacrum, you
(41:23):
know this, our sacrum is asacred vessel.
You know and like, how do weplay with that energy?
How do we bring that energydown?
How do we bring that energy up?
How do we move it around?
How do we expand it out?
You know, like that's a lot ofenergy to generate.
And if you're little and nobodyguided you how to play with
(41:44):
that, and it felt like, andnobody guided you how to play
with that, and it felt like, oh,this is.
And we get to like, thaw outthe ice cube and start looking
again.
Joya (41:53):
Oh, I love that thought that I once heard a friend of
mine told me every tear isthawing out the ice cube you put
around your heart, and I lovedthat.
I was like, oh, it's true, it'slike a picture just drip melt,
drip, melt.
Yeah, I wanted to just say whenI was reading your bio I love
the way that you're teachingteachers by going through the
(42:14):
process themselves and makingsure that they're doing the work
, because there are so manyteachers out there now that are
popping up everywhere that aresaying all the things but they
don not, they don't necessarilyhave an embodied wisdom and
embodied knowing of what it isthat they're talking about.
(42:34):
So I just wanted to say that Ireally appreciate and love that
you're doing that and that it'ssuch a long process that it's a
10 month program to go through,where some people might be like
10 months, that's a long time,but it's.
Andrea (42:46):
It takes that long to really do the work, you're
unlearning and then you'rerelearning and you know, a lot
of times that's why I like thecontainer, because it's a
community, right, you're, you'reeveryone's committed to healing
themselves, other people,they're investing the time and
what's interesting, that happensin group dynamics is your
(43:08):
family system stuff right.
So you're not just like in asilo, you get to really use
yourself as part of the materialprocess.
You know like whoa, what'scoming up?
I just got triggered.
What is that about?
Hmm, let me process that inreal time in this safe, loving,
(43:30):
curious, wise container where weactually can be embodied.
Right, instead of it'sinteresting, a lot of you know
religious traditions or eveneducational traditions is like,
oh well, I'm here and I'm herenow and then that's it.
And it's like, well, you know,really it's a process.
(43:53):
It's like, hmm, I'm stilllearning about myself, I'm still
growing, I'm still evolving,right, we're never done,
otherwise we're dead.
So you know, I think there's ashame that can happen like, well
, I know and that's, and so I'mdone, and then you go teach
other people, but then you'renot still in the evolutionary
(44:16):
process and so, and people feelthat, people feel that whether
you're really embodied or not,whether you're really devoted,
devoted devotion.
There's a devotion to growth, Iagree.
There's an investment of timeand commitment and I think that
(44:36):
that's as a healer, as a I don'teven maybe not even using the
word healer right as a, as aguide.
I look at it even like as aguide, because even healer needs
somebody to be wounded or inyou know, it's in your identity,
it's part of it.
It's you're really a guide inthat you've gone to spaces and
(44:58):
places within yourself thatyou've explored, that you have
understanding of your owndarkness and your own light and
your own wholeness, and whereyou're in shadow and when what
parts are still gettingactivated that you're like oh,
let me get curious about that.
Like I want to be free fromjust.
(45:18):
I want to respond, not react.
Or I want to like why am Igetting all like stirred up here
?
Why am I like how am Ico-creating?
And staying stuck in the muck?
Like, ooh, I want to.
That's requiring a lot ofeffort and energy.
Like Hmm, yeah.
Yeah, right, so it's ongoingprocess of growth, you know, and
(45:43):
just that devotion, yeah.
Joya (45:44):
I would say that I guess a teacher, teacher or guide or a
facilitator or a person who Iwould say I create the space for
people to be able to do thehealing work, to be able to feel
safe, to go to go deep withinand to and to release whatever's
there.
And do you feel and this iswhat I want people listening,
who are diving into this work,to doing this work Is this a
(46:07):
process that people can gothrough on their own, or is it
more skillfully facilitated in agroup or with a coach or with a
therapist?
What are your thoughts on that?
Andrea (46:20):
I think that there's many different roads to roam.
I think that there is really anindividual process.
I think that there's an innatehealing intelligence that lives
inside of all of us and whatmight work for me may be
different from what works forsomebody else.
And so I think, exploring,trying different things, think
(46:50):
exploring trying differentthings, reading different books,
doing as a self-study, see howthat resonates, see if you are
wired to be more in community,that you really thrive in
community and being witnessedand witnessing, having that
one-on-one intimate attentionwhere you're really doing this
inner work, but feeling safe,like okay, like you're my only
witness around these places andspaces, and I'm not really ready
(47:12):
for, like to expose that inthis group setting right so, but
maybe someday I will, and maybesomeday, like that'll be a next
layer of my growth, or you knowso.
I think it really is veryindividual, or you know so, I
think it really is veryindividual, it's very unique,
and I the best way is to trydifferent things and see what
(47:33):
resonates, what feels like, whatyou need right now, in that
moment, and you'll have theanswer, and discovering that.
Joya (47:42):
You get to use your discernment and self-trust.
Andrea (47:44):
I developed that right.
You know, it's interesting.
There was a moment with ajourney that I was going through
and it was like the first timethat I really allowed myself to
be authentically mad.
I was like I'm mad.
I don't think I was allowed tohave a temper tantrum as a kid.
Everyone else was, but I wasn't, and I was like this is
(48:06):
backwards.
Tantrum as a kid.
Everyone else was, but I wasn't, and I was like this is
backwards, but I let myself.
I broke some rules that Icreated for myself.
I don't ever want to be likethat, but I allowed myself to
just be in my authentic angerand I don't know my
five-year-olds, I don't likethat.
You were listening to me, rightand what I found when I
(48:27):
actually allowed myself to beauthentic and real with my anger
, is that sadness was underneathit and I got to.
Really I needed to tap into theanger and allow myself to do
that so that I could actuallyaccess what was underneath, so
that I could actually accesswhat was underneath.
And when I did that, it wasjust like oh, I found parts of
(48:52):
myself that I had right that Iwas able to go back to.
And it was interesting as I wasin that process, I, you know, I
ended up doing some work on myown in the garden and I was just
, like you know, cuddling myself, and then, all of a sudden,
like somebody walked by one ofthe facilitators and I was like,
oh, hi, hi, I need your helpwith something.
(49:14):
And she's like, and she's like,uh, yeah, what do you need?
And I was like, can I have ahug?
And she said give me, give meone moment, I'll, I'll be right
back.
And I was like, huh, she didn'tgive me, give me one moment,
I'll be right back.
And I was like, huh, she didn'tgive me the hug that I needed.
And I sat there, I was like,okay, and then I went back.
Then I was like doing this, andthen all of a sudden, oh, you
(49:41):
don't need the hug from thatperson, you need that hug from
me.
And so to be a guide is to knowwhen you intervene and when you
let the person's own innatehealing intelligence come
(50:03):
through.
And that requires a subtleattunement and awareness,
because it would have been easyfor her to give me a hug, but
there was something inside ofher, because she was so attuned
to herself that she didn't wantto enable me, yeah, that she
wanted, that there was anopportunity there that she
(50:24):
didn't rescue me from, because Ididn't need to be rescued, that
I think a part of me felt thatI did and that if she had, I
would have missed thatopportunity to just be with oh,
I'll hug you.
And I was like oh.
(50:53):
And then that part of me waslike that, finally got to feel
like a that even if she hadgiven me a hug wouldn't have
gone as deep right and she's notgoing to be there next time you
feel like that and you need ahug, but I will be yeah, I
always will be because Iexpanded my capacity to meet
myself there and to be therewith myself and to be that for
(51:16):
myself that nobody can ever giveto me or ever take away.
But I needed to be in it andtrust it, trust myself that I'm
enough, that my love and mypresence is enough, and so that
translates as a healer whenyou're able to like have that
relationship with.
(51:37):
Now I'm with my clients and asthey're struggling, I don't feel
that I need to like be theirrescuer, Like a part of me felt
that I needed a rescue, right.
So it just becomes this realunlearning that you may not
notice that you do Like why do Ido that?
(51:58):
And so it just slows everythingdown and there's like these
little moments that now becomememories Like ah, that memory of
like reunification with my, myset, my five-year-old self that
now feels a deep sense of safetyand love in my arms.
Joya (52:18):
That is so beautiful and so powerful and exactly what
this work does.
That's what liberating yourtrue self is right, that it's
like I've got my back, I trustmyself.
I trust myself not to violatemy own boundaries because I
don't harm myself.
Andrea (52:34):
Right, I don't put myself in spaces and places that
maybe at one point in time Ididn't have a choice.
And now we get to say, like I'mgoing to, you know, this isn't
working and my loyalty is tocreate, re and keep that safety
and love.
For that part, that's likeshaking, that maybe feels
(52:56):
uncomfortable.
It's like, well, you know whatI, I trust you that that
shakiness inside is telling usthat this doesn't feel like a
really supportive environment,or that they're not really in a
space right now to have anopen-hearted, vulnerable
conversation of curiosity, right.
And so we get to like say, youknow what, this isn't the right
(53:17):
time, and we'll chat about itlater, when we're in a good
space, that we that therethere's a space for that
functionality, right, and so,and and so.
It's really like connecting,being connected to and and
trusting even that fear.
Like fear is like maybe Ooh, Iremember feeling that way before
(53:39):
, that I like stuff down, andnow I don't stuff it down
anymore.
It's like it's wisdom, it'slike powerful wisdom in that
inner child, like that's lettingme know, like ick or yummy.
Joya (53:53):
Yeah, and I feel like the inner child's power is there
because of the fact that it's sopresent with whatever is all
the time.
Meeting the presence at thepresent moment with it, with
what is, and deciding how tointeract with it from a point of
view that's not wounded, I feellike, is where that freedom
comes from.
Andrea (54:13):
There's a total freedom there, yeah, and to be able to
notice like, ooh, there's awound there, like let me pause
and let me not try to heal thatwound in this moment with this
other unwounded, other woundedper.
Like that's not going to healthat wound in this moment, with
this other wounded, like that'snot gonna create anything.
It's like, ooh, okay.
Joya (54:30):
Or.
Andrea (54:30):
I'm in my healed place while somebody else is in their
wounded place and I can just bea loving presence to myself and
trust that I'll know how tonavigate that in real time.
That is for the goodness of allparties involved, even if they
don't see that as such in thatmoment.
But you're actually ensuring ahealthy opportunity space for if
(54:57):
and when they're ready for thatlevel of space connection.
Joya (55:04):
Where would you recommend?
So last question I know we're.
I'm like gosh.
I knew this time would go fastand I could talk to you for
probably more podcast episodesand there's so many things so
deeply.
But for people listening whoare like, oh my gosh, she's
speaking to my heart, she'sspeaking to me.
This is where I'm at, this iswhat I want to work through.
Number one what words of wisdomwould you like to share?
(55:27):
And then number two if somebodyfeels like I really need to
know this woman, I really wantto work with her.
Where can they find you?
And do you have any juicyfreebies or giveaways?
Or where can we find your book?
All those good things?
Andrea (55:39):
Wonderful.
Well, if you like my voice andyou like what you're hearing and
you would like little,bite-sized tastes that you get
to integrate in your day-to-daylife, I have a book on Audible
called no Longer Burnt Out, I'mBusy.
It's designed for a busy personin mind, mindset, trusting
(56:02):
yourself, conscious embodiment,practices that are really
user-friendly, five minutes aday that really you can
incorporate in your life.
The other things I have on mywebsite, andreacorellacom.
I have three meditations.
One is around living free.
(56:22):
One is around trusting yourselfand liberating yourself.
So those are about 10 minuteseach.
So those are really ways todrop into your core essence and
trust yourself and reinforcethat new relationship,
remembering and reconnecting tothat essence of who you are,
(56:45):
reconnecting to that essence ofwho you are, and they help
support that.
And then, if you're interestedin attending my mentorship
program, you can head over to mywebsite and send me a message
and I can let you know when thenext cohort is starting, which
is next year.
We'll be starting again in endof January, beginning of
February 2025.
Joya (57:01):
So this is perfect timing.
Yes, yes, yes, and your finalwords of wisdom for people who
are doing this work yeah, um,find your tribe.
Andrea (57:13):
Find a tribe that can uh , see you, um, as you are seeing
yourself, connect to your heart, be authentic to who you truly
are.
Even if it's unpopular and evenif somebody doesn't understand,
(57:33):
you believe that you are a giftand that you are enough, a
precious gift, and to be the.
Have the courage to be the fullexpression of that, so that we
have more light in the worldsand more love in the worlds,
more freedom in the worlds, realfreedom yeah, yeah.
Joya (57:59):
Well, andrea, thank you so much for being here and I'm
probably going to have to haveyou back for a part two, and you
know and then also to sharewith everyone the retreat idea
that we are working on togetherand that is exciting, all these
beautiful good things that I'mjust so grateful for, so, so, so
(58:21):
grateful for, and that, youknow, this is when I, when I
have friends like you and I havefriends like I have, and I have
this life that I've reallycreated.
It just makes me so grateful fordoing the work and for those
times that I was on my knees,sobbing, just letting out the
grief, and and and and the realacceptance of I can't change the
(58:43):
past.
I can only change and and andthe real acceptance of I can't
change the past.
I can only change who I am nowand what I'm doing and how I'm
showing up, and and when I getto have experiences like this
I'm having with you, it justmakes me feel so freaking
grateful and my, my intention isalways just to share.
If I can do it, anybody can.
Andrea (59:02):
Yes, yes, yeah, I think that.
Yeah, there's a, you know, it'slike a butterfly right, like
we're a caterpillar, and then wego into, like this liquid, the
goo you like, what is that?
That mess in the middle kind oftrans, transitional, airy phase
, you, and it's beautiful towatch, watch you, follow your
(59:26):
joy and follow your heart andshare your vibration.
So thank you for doing that,because that's it's medicine,
you know, sharing your medicinein the world and knowing what
that is, you know, and sharingyour medicine in the world.
Joya (59:46):
Wise woman, wise women unite.
Andrea (59:48):
Thank you Well have a wonderful rest of your day.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Joya (59:54):
Thank you for listening to we woke up like this.
Your likes, comments, sharesand subscribes help this content
reach new listeners, and I soappreciate you.
And remember, luminous one,that your radiant and magnetic
presence changes the world.
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