December 31, 2023 • 18 mins
In this episode, host Terri Kellums discusses the importance of connection with community for mental health and personal growth. She reflects on her own experiences of feeling disconnected after moving to a new place and emphasizes the need for socialization and support. Terri shares various strategies for finding and building a community, including joining interest-based groups, using online platforms like Meetup.com, and connecting with others through work and hobbies. She also highlights the healing power of being in a supportive community and encourages listeners to navigate challenges with grace and elegance.
Takeaways
- Connection with community is important for mental health and personal growth.
- Finding community in a new place can be challenging, but there are strategies to overcome this.
- Interest-based groups, online communities, and social media can help in finding like-minded individuals.
- Overcoming fear and trying new activities, such as joining hiking groups, can lead to new connections.
- Meetup.com is a useful platform for finding and joining interest-based groups.
- Work and hobbies can also provide opportunities to meet new people and build community.
- Being in a supportive community can have a positive impact on overall well-being.
- Navigating challenges with grace and elegance can lead to personal growth.
- Joining a community can provide support and a sense of belonging.
Chapters
00:00
Introduction and Reflection on 2023
00:58
The Importance of Connection with Community
03:07
Challenges of Finding Community in a New Place
05:30
Finding Community through Shared Interests
07:18
Online Communities and Social Media
09:39
Overcoming Fear and Joining Hiking Groups
10:34
Using Meetup.com to Find Interest-Based Groups
12:02
Finding Community through Work and Hobbies
13:22
The Importance of Being in Community
16:06
Reflection on Grace and Elegance in Personal Growth
16:32
Conclusion and Invitation to Join the Community
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
You're listening to the what Women Want Today
podcast.
If you love the idea of beingpart of a community of women who
are looking to thrive, not justsurvive, you're in the right
place.
Join hosts Terry Cullums andAmanda Keeper each week, as they
bring you topics and guests tohelp you improve your
relationships, your health andyour emotional and spiritual
(00:23):
well-being.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello and welcome to today's episode of the what
Women Want Today podcast.
I am your host, terry Cullums.
Thank you for sticking with methrough this 12-day series.
You know so far we have talkedabout.
We began the whole series withtalking about a reflection of
2023 and what kind of clarity wemight get from reflecting on
(00:51):
the things that we said wewanted to do in 2023, but we
didn't actually do, what thingsmight make it to the list for
2024 that you didn't accomplish,or what new things might you
choose to focus on.
You know we talked aboutdeveloping a gratitude practice.
We've talked about clearing theclutter, both physical and
mental clutter.
We talked about health andyesterday we talked about
(01:14):
developing passions.
Today we're going to talk aboutconnection with community.
I cannot tell you how strongly Ibelieve this is so important
for our mental health, for ourgrowth as a person, for
fulfillment in life, and thishas been something that I have
struggled with.
(01:35):
To be really honest with yousince we moved down to Southern
Arizona is just feeling sodisconnected, not having the
abundant socialization that Iwould typically be used to.
And my husband said to me once,like you need people and he's
so right, I need people.
(01:55):
I would have said years,several years back.
I would have said I was justextrovert all the way, 100%
extrovert, because I've aged andmaybe it's due to circumstances
, you know, living in a coupledifferent places over the past
five years, I have probablygotten somewhere towards the
(02:16):
middle, where I do love thesocialization.
We are going to a New Year's Eveparty at our friend's house and
I'm going to bring some food.
I'm excited about, you know,the food I'm going to bring.
I'm excited about the gameswe're going to play.
I'm excited about theconversation.
So the friends, the husband'sparents, are going to be there
(02:44):
and I can't speak for Brian,I'll just speak for myself right
now.
I absolutely adore these people.
I wish they would adopt me astheir daughter-in-law.
I mean, I adore them and I amso looking forward I just so
looking forward to being intheir company.
You have people like that inyour life that you just you're
(03:04):
so looking forward to being intheir presence.
Like you just get your cupfilled up by being around them
If you don't have enough ofthose people like this is what
today's episode is all about isfinding a community to connect
with, finding a tribe of women.
It's not as easy as it used tobe right, because we used to
(03:25):
have kids in school or kidsinvolved in things.
Or maybe you were like me andgrew up your whole life in a
small town where you knew justabout everybody.
Like it was impossible for meto walk into the grocery store
without running into somebodythat I knew.
I remember my daughter, myyoungest daughter, who is she's
very introverted, she's a fiveon the Enneagram, if you know
(03:45):
the Enneagram at all.
So she, you know she needs alot of downtime.
She does like to be with herfriends and she likes to do
social activities, but she needsa lot of downtime.
And so I was an insurance agentat this point in the story and I
had been approached by amarketing advertising company to
(04:08):
put my picture on the shoppingcarts.
So if you were in ValleyProduce in Loves Park, illinois,
and you went grocery shopping,you were going to see my
business card in a bigger format.
You know I was going to gogrocery shopping with you.
In fact I would get phone calls.
Terri, I'm grocery shoppingwith you right now, like what?
But anyway.
(04:29):
So you know, living in a smallcommunity, you know, growing up
there my whole life, I knewplenty of people I had plenty of
opportunity for socialization,would be in the grocery store
and inevitably, you know,conversations would happen and
sometimes they were clients,sometimes they were friends.
But my daughter would say, mom,do you ever go anywhere and
(04:50):
talk to anybody?
So I would have said back thenthat I was 100% extrovert, need
people.
I still think I need people.
I don't think that's changed.
I think it's just the amount ofsocialization perhaps has
changed, or the quantity, maybe,of it.
Like, do I need it every day?
No, but do I need it at leastonce a week?
(05:11):
Yes, so you have to get reallycreative if you move to a new
place.
Do you guys remember who did Ihave on the podcast?
I can picture her.
She was the woman who talkedabout relocation and how you
find your perfect place.
Her name escapes Margaret,margaret Vandergrist, maybe.
(05:34):
Anyways, you know it's toughwhen you move to a new place and
you don't have the connections.
My husband, you know, obviouslyworks with a lot of men and
they have wives and there's someopportunity there to meet new
people.
I thought joining the gym wouldbe a great opportunity because
they say, you know, go and getinvolved in places where you
(05:55):
meet the people who have similarinterests to you, and I do
believe that's true.
But it just didn't happen andthat's okay because you know
sometimes when you're there andyou're just really focused on
working out.
And but we just got a newMichael's craft store in our
little town and I told myhusband I don't know if they
(06:18):
still do those crafting classes,but I'm going to go.
If they do, I'm going to go assoon as it opens, find out if
they're still holding thecrafting classes, and I am bound
to meet somebody there thatenjoys crafting and art and
stuff as much as I do thecreative pursuits that I always
talk about.
So there's, there's one avenue.
And then my new friend that Imentioned yesterday, the one
(06:40):
that we were trying to get ourwalk scheduled, and you know she
and I both are kind of in thesame boat.
They just moved here a fewmonths back from Big Bear Lake
in California and you know we'rejust, we're just very
vulnerable with each other.
We're like this is hard.
This is hard to meet new peoplehere.
Neither one of us work outsidethe home, so that makes it a
(07:03):
little bit more challenging.
But one of the things that herand I talked about the other day
on our walk was they have abook club at the library, she
told me, and so we're going tocheck out the book club at the
library.
Now my version of book club isa lot different maybe than the
library's version of book club,but maybe if I meet some women
(07:24):
there that I connect with, maybethat will turn into a book club
that, you know, my friend and Ican can share the the
opportunity to host in our home.
And you know, when I say bookclub and Amanda and I met at
book club, we didn't talk aboutthe book a whole lot, it was
more about female bonding, andthat's what I'm really looking
(07:45):
for.
But I do love books, so I cantalk about books too.
The other place that I would saythat's recently happened for me
is there's a Facebook groupthat I happened upon on in my
scrolling one day and gosh thename of it.
It's a longer name but it'ssomething like female
(08:07):
friendships over 40 or somethinglike that and from that
particular group in theconversations people are like oh
, you know, it'd be great if wecould like meet and have coffee.
And so there are now there arethese side chats going on and
they're broken down by state.
And I went into the Arizona onethe other day and I just said,
(08:29):
does anybody live in this yearof this area?
And the lady said I do.
And so I clicked on her profileand I, you know, it's kind of
like the dating thing, right,like, if you've ever done the
dating sites or apps I guess nowI met Brian, I'm matchcom, but
back then it was a website,right.
So you know, you go on thereand you're looking like, what is
(08:51):
this guy interested in?
Like what does I mean?
There's got to be some physicalattraction.
You're like, okay, what is this?
And you're scrolling and you'relooking at their pictures or
whatever Same thing with thiswoman, right?
So I'm, I'm stalking her at thispoint, like, you know, what
does she post about?
Does she have children?
Is she married?
Like I'm looking for the thingsthat are going to connect us
together, because you can'treally force a friendship.
(09:14):
So I want to know if there'sinitially some level that her
and I are going to be able toconnect on some very basic level
other than being women.
And she kind of met, shechecked some of my boxes and I
thought, well, it's not going tohurt me to friend request her.
So I sent her a message backand I said, hey, I just friend
requested you and so you know,if she gets back to me I'm going
(09:36):
to pursue it.
I'm going to ask her if shewants to meet for coffee.
I'm going to invite my newfriend along, and it's just
those types of things.
We have several hiking groupshere in Arizona, in this
community that I live in.
I mean, I've showed you guyspictures on social media of,
like, the mountain ranges.
There's some beautiful placesto go hiking around here.
I love to hike.
(09:57):
At first I was intimidated andI used an excuse the fear thing
that I talked about yesterday.
Right, reject because of fearand the unknown, and I didn't
want to go on these.
I think probably in some onsome level, if I'm being really
honest, because my head's almostkind of pushing me towards it
and I I don't like peopletelling me what to do.
(10:17):
I'm being funny, anyway.
So now that I've got myarthritis and my knee kind of
under control and I know what mylimits are, I'm going to pursue
some of these hiking groups fornext year.
It's getting really cold here insouthern Arizona right now.
We are, I think we're in the5000-ish elevation range, so the
(10:41):
temperatures are a lotdifferent than the Phoenix area
and it's cold.
So where else?
So hiking groups?
Oh, here's another really goodone.
I don't know if you guys arefamiliar with this website or
not, but think of anything thatyou're interested in.
Like when I was in Phoenix Ibelonged to the West Valley, I
(11:02):
think it was the West ValleyEntrepreneur Group.
There was a writing group, whatelse?
There was a hiking group thereas well.
There were several, several,and if you are not sure if
they're in your area, just go totheir website meetupcom,
m-e-e-t-u-pcom.
Search for something thatinterests you, something you
(11:25):
like to do A knitting group, asewing group, a cooking group,
writing what Photography?
I think there was a photographyone, if I remember right.
Go on there and see what you'reinterested in, and then they
always meet in a public place.
It's not like I guess it couldbe weird, but it's not weird.
See what they're doing.
I noticed when I was looking atit a while back it's been a
(11:47):
while, but I noticed there'seven some that like we'll take a
trip from the Phoenix area tolike Sedona for the day to.
You know, there's like littleshops and stuff up there?
And what is the other reallyneat place up there in that area
?
Flagstaff, sedona, I think it'scalled Jerome Jerome.
It's a neat little town to goand just kind of walk around for
the day.
There's supposed to be like.
(12:08):
I think there's like a hauntedmansion there and some really
good restaurants.
Anyway, go in, go on there onmatchmatchcom, meetupcom, which
are interested in their see whatkind of groups are meeting in
your area.
I think the last tip that I havefor you today is so my other
(12:30):
friend that lives here ourhusbands work together, the ones
we're going to their party sheis super interested in gardening
and they have like a mastergardening class at the local
community college, but I thinkshe also went to one through a
Facebook group.
So she's, she's tried severaldifferent things and she, you
know she works outside the home.
(12:51):
She works at we have an armybase here and they have writing
stables and so she doeshorseback riding lessons and so
she's she's meeting new peoplethrough her job, which I think
is.
It's very common like for a lotof friendships to develop from
our workplace, from our spouses,from our hobbies, from our
church, things like that.
But really I cannot stress howimportant that I believe this is
(13:14):
and I think I've mentioned thison the podcast before and this
is just it's kind of morbid, butthis is like just a real life
conversation that I have with myhusband.
If I, if he is fairly young, ifI'm fairly young and he passes,
if I'm a young widow, I willnot stay down here in Southern
(13:35):
Arizona.
I will like my plan and I gotthis plan from Marie Scott if
you remember her on the podcast,see this podcast.
Like I have gotten so many goodconnections and things from
this podcast.
I am so appreciative andthankful for this podcast and
all of the opportunities that'sgiven me.
But if you remember Marie Scott,she does like the retreats and
(13:59):
things for and she does somekind of course for widows.
She is the one who was with herhusband.
He was a firefighter and theywere together, married happily
for years and he passed and shetalked about how you know she
went down to Florida, she metall these people and then she
did something that she neverthought was going to happen,
(14:21):
which is she met a new man andgot remarried.
And it's not that I want to goto Florida to get remarried, but
I want to be in community, withother people, being a part of a
supportive community, I thinkat almost any age.
I can't even picture an agewhere I don't think it would be
important, like when you'reyounger.
(14:42):
And you know, like I rememberwhen I we lived in Virginia, my,
the father of my and my husbandof my three older children was
in the Navy and we werestationed in Virginia and I was
pregnant with twins and so Ibelong to a mother of twins
group.
I mean, what better place to,you know, get support on
(15:02):
something that is superdifficult, right, like having
twins, and my oldest daughterwas 3 and a half when they were
born, so I was 20 years old with3 kids under 5.
So you know, there's so muchsupport and I believe healing
happens in community.
So, like like with Marie Scott,you know, like being I can't
(15:25):
even imagine I this year.
I mean, we're at that age nowwhere we're losing people, right
, we're losing people we love,and One of the more
heartbreaking ones in my ownpersonal life was our old
neighbors.
They were high schoolsweethearts and just I just have
(15:46):
so much love for that familyand when I found that the
husband had passed, like it justreally hurt my heart.
And so you know people likeMarie Scott who are offering
Community where no oneunderstands what it's like to be
a widow or other than otherwidow or widowers, right.
(16:06):
So that's the kind of that'sthe kind of community I'm
talking about, like where youcan go and thrive, be encouraged
, share laughter, share commoninterests, be supported.
Yeah, that's that's what I feelso strongly about today's topic
the connection with community.
So I'm going to leave you todaywith the definition of 7 swans
(16:33):
is swimming.
Do you catch yourself likeEvery day when I think about
this?
I go 7 swans is swimming.
So, excuse the language, tosing it, to remember which 1,
and I only know it backwards, Ican't do it forwards, okay, so 7
swans of swimming are oftenassociated with grace and beauty
.
So let's use this day toexplore themes of grace and
(16:55):
elegance in personal growth, andI'm going to encourage you to
navigate your challenges withpoise.
And so that's your reflectionfor today.
And head over to our communityon Facebook the links are in the
show notes and get involved andbecome a part of that community
.
Let's make it a great place tobe very supportive where other
(17:18):
women who are going throughthings they don't feel like they
have to go through them alone.
And that is today's episode.
So thank you so much for beinghere with me today.
I look forward to joining youtomorrow.
Take care and happy new year.
Amanda, I don't know if thisever happens to you, but I
sometimes will learn somethingreally cool on a podcast, on
(17:40):
YouTube, video, audio book,whatever.
I think I'm going to rememberit, and then I forget.
Does that ever happen to you?
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Yeah, I call it brain after 40 all the time.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
That's what we'll officially call it, but we've
come up with something.
Do you want to introduce it?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Sure, it's from an app called quick, jim quick, and
it's an acronym called fast.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yeah, and it stands for Facebook.
So we're inviting youofficially right now to come
over and join us on Facebook.
Get involved with the community, share your favorite episodes
with your friends on Facebook.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Yeah, the A is go ahead and take an action, so you
can't remember anything if youdon't act.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
And S is for subscribe.
Make sure you're subscribed toour YouTube channel.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
And then teach what you've learned to somebody else.
Share the love.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Alright, we hope that works for you.
Thank you for joining us.
We'll see you next week.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Bye, bye.
You're listening to the what Women Want Today
podcast.
If you love the idea of beingpart of a community of women who
are looking to thrive, not justsurvive, you're in the right
place.
Join hosts Terry Cullums andAmanda Keeper each week, as they
bring you topics and guests tohelp you improve your
relationships, your health andyour emotional and spiritual
(00:23):
well-being.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello and welcome to today's episode of the what
Women Want Today podcast.
I am your host, terry Cullums.
Thank you for sticking with methrough this 12-day series.
You know so far we have talkedabout.
We began the whole series withtalking about a reflection of
2023 and what kind of clarity wemight get from reflecting on
(00:51):
the things that we said wewanted to do in 2023, but we
didn't actually do, what thingsmight make it to the list for
2024 that you didn't accomplish,or what new things might you
choose to focus on.
You know we talked aboutdeveloping a gratitude practice.
We've talked about clearing theclutter, both physical and
mental clutter.
We talked about health andyesterday we talked about
(01:14):
developing passions.
Today we're going to talk aboutconnection with community.
I cannot tell you how strongly Ibelieve this is so important
for our mental health, for ourgrowth as a person, for
fulfillment in life, and thishas been something that I have
struggled with.
(01:35):
To be really honest with yousince we moved down to Southern
Arizona is just feeling sodisconnected, not having the
abundant socialization that Iwould typically be used to.
And my husband said to me once,like you need people and he's
so right, I need people.
(01:55):
I would have said years,several years back.
I would have said I was justextrovert all the way, 100%
extrovert, because I've aged andmaybe it's due to circumstances
, you know, living in a coupledifferent places over the past
five years, I have probablygotten somewhere towards the
(02:16):
middle, where I do love thesocialization.
We are going to a New Year's Eveparty at our friend's house and
I'm going to bring some food.
I'm excited about, you know,the food I'm going to bring.
I'm excited about the gameswe're going to play.
I'm excited about theconversation.
So the friends, the husband'sparents, are going to be there
(02:44):
and I can't speak for Brian,I'll just speak for myself right
now.
I absolutely adore these people.
I wish they would adopt me astheir daughter-in-law.
I mean, I adore them and I amso looking forward I just so
looking forward to being intheir company.
You have people like that inyour life that you just you're
(03:04):
so looking forward to being intheir presence.
Like you just get your cupfilled up by being around them
If you don't have enough ofthose people like this is what
today's episode is all about isfinding a community to connect
with, finding a tribe of women.
It's not as easy as it used tobe right, because we used to
(03:25):
have kids in school or kidsinvolved in things.
Or maybe you were like me andgrew up your whole life in a
small town where you knew justabout everybody.
Like it was impossible for meto walk into the grocery store
without running into somebodythat I knew.
I remember my daughter, myyoungest daughter, who is she's
very introverted, she's a fiveon the Enneagram, if you know
(03:45):
the Enneagram at all.
So she, you know she needs alot of downtime.
She does like to be with herfriends and she likes to do
social activities, but she needsa lot of downtime.
And so I was an insurance agentat this point in the story and I
had been approached by amarketing advertising company to
(04:08):
put my picture on the shoppingcarts.
So if you were in ValleyProduce in Loves Park, illinois,
and you went grocery shopping,you were going to see my
business card in a bigger format.
You know I was going to gogrocery shopping with you.
In fact I would get phone calls.
Terri, I'm grocery shoppingwith you right now, like what?
But anyway.
(04:29):
So you know, living in a smallcommunity, you know, growing up
there my whole life, I knewplenty of people I had plenty of
opportunity for socialization,would be in the grocery store
and inevitably, you know,conversations would happen and
sometimes they were clients,sometimes they were friends.
But my daughter would say, mom,do you ever go anywhere and
(04:50):
talk to anybody?
So I would have said back thenthat I was 100% extrovert, need
people.
I still think I need people.
I don't think that's changed.
I think it's just the amount ofsocialization perhaps has
changed, or the quantity, maybe,of it.
Like, do I need it every day?
No, but do I need it at leastonce a week?
(05:11):
Yes, so you have to get reallycreative if you move to a new
place.
Do you guys remember who did Ihave on the podcast?
I can picture her.
She was the woman who talkedabout relocation and how you
find your perfect place.
Her name escapes Margaret,margaret Vandergrist, maybe.
(05:34):
Anyways, you know it's toughwhen you move to a new place and
you don't have the connections.
My husband, you know, obviouslyworks with a lot of men and
they have wives and there's someopportunity there to meet new
people.
I thought joining the gym wouldbe a great opportunity because
they say, you know, go and getinvolved in places where you
(05:55):
meet the people who have similarinterests to you, and I do
believe that's true.
But it just didn't happen andthat's okay because you know
sometimes when you're there andyou're just really focused on
working out.
And but we just got a newMichael's craft store in our
little town and I told myhusband I don't know if they
(06:18):
still do those crafting classes,but I'm going to go.
If they do, I'm going to go assoon as it opens, find out if
they're still holding thecrafting classes, and I am bound
to meet somebody there thatenjoys crafting and art and
stuff as much as I do thecreative pursuits that I always
talk about.
So there's, there's one avenue.
And then my new friend that Imentioned yesterday, the one
(06:40):
that we were trying to get ourwalk scheduled, and you know she
and I both are kind of in thesame boat.
They just moved here a fewmonths back from Big Bear Lake
in California and you know we'rejust, we're just very
vulnerable with each other.
We're like this is hard.
This is hard to meet new peoplehere.
Neither one of us work outsidethe home, so that makes it a
(07:03):
little bit more challenging.
But one of the things that herand I talked about the other day
on our walk was they have abook club at the library, she
told me, and so we're going tocheck out the book club at the
library.
Now my version of book club isa lot different maybe than the
library's version of book club,but maybe if I meet some women
(07:24):
there that I connect with, maybethat will turn into a book club
that, you know, my friend and Ican can share the the
opportunity to host in our home.
And you know, when I say bookclub and Amanda and I met at
book club, we didn't talk aboutthe book a whole lot, it was
more about female bonding, andthat's what I'm really looking
(07:45):
for.
But I do love books, so I cantalk about books too.
The other place that I would saythat's recently happened for me
is there's a Facebook groupthat I happened upon on in my
scrolling one day and gosh thename of it.
It's a longer name but it'ssomething like female
(08:07):
friendships over 40 or somethinglike that and from that
particular group in theconversations people are like oh
, you know, it'd be great if wecould like meet and have coffee.
And so there are now there arethese side chats going on and
they're broken down by state.
And I went into the Arizona onethe other day and I just said,
(08:29):
does anybody live in this yearof this area?
And the lady said I do.
And so I clicked on her profileand I, you know, it's kind of
like the dating thing, right,like, if you've ever done the
dating sites or apps I guess nowI met Brian, I'm matchcom, but
back then it was a website,right.
So you know, you go on thereand you're looking like, what is
(08:51):
this guy interested in?
Like what does I mean?
There's got to be some physicalattraction.
You're like, okay, what is this?
And you're scrolling and you'relooking at their pictures or
whatever Same thing with thiswoman, right?
So I'm, I'm stalking her at thispoint, like, you know, what
does she post about?
Does she have children?
Is she married?
Like I'm looking for the thingsthat are going to connect us
together, because you can'treally force a friendship.
(09:14):
So I want to know if there'sinitially some level that her
and I are going to be able toconnect on some very basic level
other than being women.
And she kind of met, shechecked some of my boxes and I
thought, well, it's not going tohurt me to friend request her.
So I sent her a message backand I said, hey, I just friend
requested you and so you know,if she gets back to me I'm going
(09:36):
to pursue it.
I'm going to ask her if shewants to meet for coffee.
I'm going to invite my newfriend along, and it's just
those types of things.
We have several hiking groupshere in Arizona, in this
community that I live in.
I mean, I've showed you guyspictures on social media of,
like, the mountain ranges.
There's some beautiful placesto go hiking around here.
I love to hike.
(09:57):
At first I was intimidated andI used an excuse the fear thing
that I talked about yesterday.
Right, reject because of fearand the unknown, and I didn't
want to go on these.
I think probably in some onsome level, if I'm being really
honest, because my head's almostkind of pushing me towards it
and I I don't like peopletelling me what to do.
(10:17):
I'm being funny, anyway.
So now that I've got myarthritis and my knee kind of
under control and I know what mylimits are, I'm going to pursue
some of these hiking groups fornext year.
It's getting really cold here insouthern Arizona right now.
We are, I think we're in the5000-ish elevation range, so the
(10:41):
temperatures are a lotdifferent than the Phoenix area
and it's cold.
So where else?
So hiking groups?
Oh, here's another really goodone.
I don't know if you guys arefamiliar with this website or
not, but think of anything thatyou're interested in.
Like when I was in Phoenix Ibelonged to the West Valley, I
(11:02):
think it was the West ValleyEntrepreneur Group.
There was a writing group, whatelse?
There was a hiking group thereas well.
There were several, several,and if you are not sure if
they're in your area, just go totheir website meetupcom,
m-e-e-t-u-pcom.
Search for something thatinterests you, something you
(11:25):
like to do A knitting group, asewing group, a cooking group,
writing what Photography?
I think there was a photographyone, if I remember right.
Go on there and see what you'reinterested in, and then they
always meet in a public place.
It's not like I guess it couldbe weird, but it's not weird.
See what they're doing.
I noticed when I was looking atit a while back it's been a
(11:47):
while, but I noticed there'seven some that like we'll take a
trip from the Phoenix area tolike Sedona for the day to.
You know, there's like littleshops and stuff up there?
And what is the other reallyneat place up there in that area
?
Flagstaff, sedona, I think it'scalled Jerome Jerome.
It's a neat little town to goand just kind of walk around for
the day.
There's supposed to be like.
(12:08):
I think there's like a hauntedmansion there and some really
good restaurants.
Anyway, go in, go on there onmatchmatchcom, meetupcom, which
are interested in their see whatkind of groups are meeting in
your area.
I think the last tip that I havefor you today is so my other
(12:30):
friend that lives here ourhusbands work together, the ones
we're going to their party sheis super interested in gardening
and they have like a mastergardening class at the local
community college, but I thinkshe also went to one through a
Facebook group.
So she's, she's tried severaldifferent things and she, you
know she works outside the home.
(12:51):
She works at we have an armybase here and they have writing
stables and so she doeshorseback riding lessons and so
she's she's meeting new peoplethrough her job, which I think
is.
It's very common like for a lotof friendships to develop from
our workplace, from our spouses,from our hobbies, from our
church, things like that.
But really I cannot stress howimportant that I believe this is
(13:14):
and I think I've mentioned thison the podcast before and this
is just it's kind of morbid, butthis is like just a real life
conversation that I have with myhusband.
If I, if he is fairly young, ifI'm fairly young and he passes,
if I'm a young widow, I willnot stay down here in Southern
(13:35):
Arizona.
I will like my plan and I gotthis plan from Marie Scott if
you remember her on the podcast,see this podcast.
Like I have gotten so many goodconnections and things from
this podcast.
I am so appreciative andthankful for this podcast and
all of the opportunities that'sgiven me.
But if you remember Marie Scott,she does like the retreats and
(13:59):
things for and she does somekind of course for widows.
She is the one who was with herhusband.
He was a firefighter and theywere together, married happily
for years and he passed and shetalked about how you know she
went down to Florida, she metall these people and then she
did something that she neverthought was going to happen,
(14:21):
which is she met a new man andgot remarried.
And it's not that I want to goto Florida to get remarried, but
I want to be in community, withother people, being a part of a
supportive community, I thinkat almost any age.
I can't even picture an agewhere I don't think it would be
important, like when you'reyounger.
(14:42):
And you know, like I rememberwhen I we lived in Virginia, my,
the father of my and my husbandof my three older children was
in the Navy and we werestationed in Virginia and I was
pregnant with twins and so Ibelong to a mother of twins
group.
I mean, what better place to,you know, get support on
(15:02):
something that is superdifficult, right, like having
twins, and my oldest daughterwas 3 and a half when they were
born, so I was 20 years old with3 kids under 5.
So you know, there's so muchsupport and I believe healing
happens in community.
So, like like with Marie Scott,you know, like being I can't
(15:25):
even imagine I this year.
I mean, we're at that age nowwhere we're losing people, right
, we're losing people we love,and One of the more
heartbreaking ones in my ownpersonal life was our old
neighbors.
They were high schoolsweethearts and just I just have
(15:46):
so much love for that familyand when I found that the
husband had passed, like it justreally hurt my heart.
And so you know people likeMarie Scott who are offering
Community where no oneunderstands what it's like to be
a widow or other than otherwidow or widowers, right.
(16:06):
So that's the kind of that'sthe kind of community I'm
talking about, like where youcan go and thrive, be encouraged
, share laughter, share commoninterests, be supported.
Yeah, that's that's what I feelso strongly about today's topic
the connection with community.
So I'm going to leave you todaywith the definition of 7 swans
(16:33):
is swimming.
Do you catch yourself likeEvery day when I think about
this?
I go 7 swans is swimming.
So, excuse the language, tosing it, to remember which 1,
and I only know it backwards, Ican't do it forwards, okay, so 7
swans of swimming are oftenassociated with grace and beauty
.
So let's use this day toexplore themes of grace and
(16:55):
elegance in personal growth, andI'm going to encourage you to
navigate your challenges withpoise.
And so that's your reflectionfor today.
And head over to our communityon Facebook the links are in the
show notes and get involved andbecome a part of that community
.
Let's make it a great place tobe very supportive where other
(17:18):
women who are going throughthings they don't feel like they
have to go through them alone.
And that is today's episode.
So thank you so much for beinghere with me today.
I look forward to joining youtomorrow.
Take care and happy new year.
Amanda, I don't know if thisever happens to you, but I
sometimes will learn somethingreally cool on a podcast, on
(17:40):
YouTube, video, audio book,whatever.
I think I'm going to rememberit, and then I forget.
Does that ever happen to you?
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Yeah, I call it brain after 40 all the time.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
That's what we'll officially call it, but we've
come up with something.
Do you want to introduce it?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Sure, it's from an app called quick, jim quick, and
it's an acronym called fast.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yeah, and it stands for Facebook.
So we're inviting youofficially right now to come
over and join us on Facebook.
Get involved with the community, share your favorite episodes
with your friends on Facebook.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Yeah, the A is go ahead and take an action, so you
can't remember anything if youdon't act.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
And S is for subscribe.
Make sure you're subscribed toour YouTube channel.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
And then teach what you've learned to somebody else.
Share the love.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Alright, we hope that works for you.
Thank you for joining us.
We'll see you next week.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Bye, bye.
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