March 19, 2025 • 26 mins
Transform your life by letting go of the old stories you tell yourself and others. Join us as we explore how to rewrite your narrative and create the beautiful life you deserve!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Feels good to be here again. Itdoes? Yeah.
So what did you do? Just breeze in here?
Just breeze in here?Yeah. Yeah. That's right.
So I have my jacket on, you know, but,Yeah.
Yeah. It's been a busy morning here.
You out there running errands?
And how was your day today?
It was. It wasn't.
And it was an interesting day, you know,
(00:21):
Our show is about today.
We're going to talk about.
What are we talking about?
We're talking about.
You're asking me to remember thatI wake up.
Wake up.
Oh, yeah. Okay. Wake up.
I have my coffee yet, so.
Yeah, I cannot wait.
You know, just deal with waterhere, Joyce.
(00:44):
So when you woke up today.
You have a great routine in the morning.
You know I tell everyone what you dobecause I, I'm just so impressed.
When I wake up in the morning.
And I made a concerted effortover the past year
to especially I pretty much donethis most of my life choice.
But over the past yearit just everything seemed to coincide,
(01:06):
with my faithjust getting deeper and deeper each
and every, you know, yearfor that matter, up to this point.
But I get up in the morning,I do my prayers,
and then I do my gratitude exercises.
What am I grateful for
and who I'm going to get togetherwith during the course of the day?
So I'm, I'm, I pray foryou and your family.
I pray for the folks herethat are doing the recording,
(01:26):
you know, Steph and Dave in the back here
and, and just people that are goingto be coming in contact with
and and developing that metal armorbefore I go out into the world.
Because let's face it,the world is crazy right now.
It's crazy in a lot of ways,
but there's a lot of beauty out theretoo, as well,
where you look and then I'll do my yogaand my Pilates exercises.
So it's spirit,mind, body each and every day.
(01:48):
So by the time I walk out of my roomin the morning,
7:00, 750 and I have all that doneand I'll scurry down the hall,
hang out with the kitty cats,not hang out with my bride.
You know, feedthe nerds and just, you know,
kind of plan out the day.
But I don't want anythingrandom to come into my life.
I don't want to check emails.
(02:08):
Yeah. News right away. Yes.
I want to dictate and be intentionalabout my day right?
Because too many times people run out,they check.
They check the phone, they listen tothe news, and then that impacts their day.
And they're really playing from defenseat that point, right?
I rather be offensive. Right?
Yeah. So perfect.
And when you say you pray for people,you really do pray for people.
(02:31):
I see it all the time.
So many people are hurting right now.
And it, everybody you run to run intois battling something.
So I try to spend more time doing that.
And, and I love when, you know, Godputs people in front of me that I can pray
for, be good to him.
I really enjoy doing that. Right. Right.
How about you.
Well you know, it's, it's funnythat our show is called, you know, wake up
(02:54):
and we're going to talk about don'tkeep telling the same story over and over.
And Groundhog Day.
Yeah. And I think not
to keep referencing my books,but I think it was in my first book.
Where is your book as some.
That's okay. Is it is it available now?
The abundantly they
both are starving your fearsby think and starving your fears right.
(03:17):
I wrote about.
Oh, thank you for holding up my book.
Yeah, well, it's worth it.I read the whole thing.
Okay.Can you tell why I like the color blue?
And I'm wearing a blue and a blue.
You got blue, too.
But I talk about,
it, you know,whatever happens in your life
the most, you should tell it's likethree people and then be done with it.
(03:41):
So the important people would be,
you know, your spouse,your doctor, your minister.
But after that,if you keep telling the story, your brain
doesn't know the difference betweenit happening now or happening in the past.
And it keeps youin that state of of agitation.
So what most people don't know,
(04:01):
except for good friendslike you or my doctor,
doctors.
Is that three months ago,I was in a pretty bad car accident.
And so people think, oh, you know, Joyce'slife is so great.
She's so positive.
So three months ago, it was a challenge.
You know, I got hithead on by someone really shocking.
(04:24):
My grandson's in the car with me.
Ambulance ride, the whole thing.
And the first thing I noticedis that afterwards,
people who knew who were therearound there said, who was that person?
Don't you hate them?
Don't you hate him? What's his name?
And I thought,no, I didn't have any feeling like that.
(04:47):
I thought he didn't begin his daythinking, I'm
going to go out and smashmy own car up to.
So I prayed for him
and the womanthat was in the car with them.
And I never saw them.
You know?
In fact, I don't remember too much
about that except thefor some reason, the ambulance ride.
(05:11):
But I
don't like to talk about itbecause I don't want to keep
reminding my body and my mind
that this terrible thing happened.
It happened.
I'm dealing with it.
And last night
was probably a really tough nightin my life because for some reason,
(05:34):
every two hours I was jolted awake
by a new pain shooting up into my head.
And at one point I thought,are you going to die?
And then I thought, you know what?
I'm too tired to go to the emergency room.
So seriously,
if I wake up in the morning,it must mean that I'm supposed to be here.
So when I woke up this morning,I said I'm alive.
(05:57):
I guess I'm supposed to be.
Here, but I love how the fact is, it,you basically forgave this person.
Absolutely. And and that frees you up.
And if you keep going over itand we start developing animus
toward that person, or.
Yes, anger, we keep reliving that accidentover and over again.
Right. Same situation over and over again.
And I understand where people are.
(06:18):
They're well-meaning
people who want you upset about,but it doesn't really do any good, right?
It doesn't really do any good.
So we're just better offjust to forgive, move on.
We're not forgiving the offense.
We're forgiving for our sake,just to move on.
I thought it was a, a great test, in lifealso because
just because, we have a strong faith,things happen.
(06:43):
And it'salways about how we react to things,
you know,not even the circumstance that happened.
And that's a good point, because when youI learned this from a mentor years ago,
when you respond, practice to respond.
You're in control.
But if you react thenthe situation of the person is in control.
(07:03):
So respond.
And then you have that control react.
You put that situation. Yeah. Person.Yeah.
It's not easy.
It's not easy to dobecause you know we our initial reaction
being feelings is anger.
Yeah.
And some people watch you right nowwere saying how can you forgive.
What are you saying. Easy. What are you.What are you crazy?
And I get that I understand that, butat the same time, I've learned with wisdom
(07:27):
over the years, you know, as we maturedor gotten older, you know, just to,
just just to roll with it, the things,like you said, things are going to happen.
Rain falls on the just.
Rain falls on the unjust, like it says.
No, absolutely.There was a time in my life
for like years,I am embarrassed to say how many years.
(07:48):
I was really angry with a person.
I mean, I
it was pretty much hatred at times.
And if I wrote it on paperand handed it to someone, why,
you would all agree with me like, whoa.
And not too long ago,
I sat on my bed
(08:09):
and I'll never forget that moment.
And I just shut my I shut my door.
I sat on my bed and I said, God,
I am so tired of being angryat this person.
I don't knowwhat their whole life is like.
I don't know whythey are the way they are,
(08:29):
but I'm releasing this to you.
You handle this person, I can't,
and from this moment on and this fight,I said this from this moment on,
I will never speak ill of this personagain.
I will send love.
(08:50):
I let it go.
And within 48 hours
I got a email from this person.
Years I haven't received an email
and the opening line was, Dear Joyce,
I have no idea what happened between us,
(09:11):
but I am sure it was my fault.
Is there any way you knowwe could get together?
I wrote back, absolutely.
And when that person walked in my house,we embraced
and it's just done.
What a healing.
I could do a healing.
Let me tell you, John,this went on for 20 years.
(09:33):
That's a. Long time.
It was 20 years.
I was telling that story to anyonewho would listen to anyone in my circle.
Right.
You know, to the point where they wouldsay, oh, how is that going?
And I and I and they,they heard all these stories
and everything, but I just got sick of it.
But look at the miracle.
(09:54):
Within 48. Hours, it was in 48.
Wow. Yeah.
I don't know what happened between us,
but I'm sure it was my faultand really was.
Can you forgive me?
And now, if you were to tell me
any part of that story, I am like Teflon.
(10:15):
It doesn't even make sense to me.
I just have complete love for that person.
And other peoplewill speak ill of this person at times.
And, I'm quiet.
I don't say anything.
And I just said, you know, the mostI'll say is I don't feel that way.
Yeah. You know, anymore.
(10:35):
Yeah.
And that's one thingI try not to get myself lured into.
You know, to your point, there is,when I hear people speaking ill of people,
I don't want to be drawn into the drama
and the gossip,
because if they're gossiping about thatperson is speaking
ill of them, chances are they're speakingill or gossiping about me.
Yeah.
How many times have you had people go upto you and say, just between you and me?
(10:57):
And we know they saidthat to several other people, right?
Right. Just between you and me.
Although when I say it to you,I do mean it.
I know what I love. What you say to me.
You say you, me and Patty, right?
And it's like, of course.
Yeah. Because.Because my wife and I are one. Yes.
And that's a good point.
Because when people do say that to me,I say, listen,
you know, my the only person I'll tellis my wife, right.
(11:18):
You know, and oh well that's okay.They expect. That.
Yes, yes. Yeah.
But typically a lot of people, you know,the people that are prone to gossiping,
maybe I should phrase my I know answerthat way, I know, I know and it just.
But you're right.
And you and you knowbecause you've heard through the grapevine
some things they've saidjust between you and me.
(11:39):
And somebody elsehas repeated the same thing to you.
I always tell people,
if you say that to me, I guarantee youit will never get back to you.
Yes, ever. You are so trust. Never.
Know.
You'reyou're like my priest in the confessional.
You're really. Oh, father John.
Bless me, father, for I have sinned.
And they call me the Jim Hallmark.
Johnny.
(12:01):
Hallmark.
Johnny, I love that.
Oh, thanks.
No, you are a hallmark movie.
Yes. In the back and the control room.
You can edit that part out there.
All right. Okay. Yeah.
Right now, because a lot of people think,you know, what we talked about before.
Is John really that way all the time?
You know, you're very upbeat.
I am I'm almost like anybody else.
(12:22):
But you listen to people too,you know, that's a gift.
That's a gift. And and you hear them.
And I see the empathy in your eyes.
And when you say you're going to prayfor someone, like I said,
you really pray for themand you hold them in your heart.
And that really is a gift.
And we can all do that when we were.
(12:44):
We may not be born that way.
I wasn't I think it was something
that I had to learn and work on.
And until it becomes a habit.
So practice it daily, like wake up,
you have the power,you have way more power than you realize.
(13:05):
You have the power to turn off the news.
You have the powerto think better thoughts.
Don't be drawn into the negative.
There's there's little in lifeprobably, that we have control over.
But, you know, the old saying isyou control your thoughts and control.
You can choose your words.
Oh, you can you can manifest your realityin so many ways
(13:28):
just by the words you speak over yourself.
Yeah, you speak
and the way you wake up in the morninglike we had talked about just moments ago.
Just be intentional about your day. Right?
You know,because there's just so much chaos.
There's so many peoplethat want to sabotage your day or,
you know, vie for your time.And that's all good.
But you've got to really protect yourselftoo and protect your time, protect you.
(13:49):
You would you could pray
for everybody and love everybody,but you also have to protect your time.
Yeah. You do.
And, you know, I would suggest to everyoneto, you know, I wanted to say
try for a day not to be judgmental,but how about you try for five minutes?
Sometimes that could even seem.
(14:10):
Like increments.
Little increments.
Be mindful of that every day.
Because every time you judge or you hate,you send anger.
You lose energy.
And I will.
I am very protective.
I will not let that happen to myself.
Smart too.
Because the thing is, a lot of diseases,I believe,
(14:30):
based on what I read, comes from the term.
Well, disease really means lack of these.
So when you have that lack of use,
I really believe itmanifests to in the body.
Right.
And if we hate and we use all that,there's only so much energy
we have in our body,only so much energy in our cup.
So let's fill it up with positivitythe most we can.
(14:50):
Yes, let's face it.
You know, we're not,none of us are perfect.
We all judge by nature.
Yeah, unfortunately, we do that.
We see someoneand we judge that within five 1015 20s.
But we just need to kind of correctour thought a little bit
before we judge,you know, and look at ourselves.
We're far from perfect right.
(15:11):
We have a lot of flaws. Yeah.
And I don't, I have a lot.
As long as we're alivewe're gonna have a lot of a lot of flaws.
But if you find yourself getting,getting tense and, you know,
because I work with people with phobiasand anxiety and everything, just
as simpleas reminding yourself to breathe.
(15:33):
So even right now,whether you're driving and listening,
don't close your eyes for it.
But, relax your shouldersbecause so many times
we have our shoulders up to our earsand we don't realize it.
But relax your shouldersand take in a belly breath
because here's what happenswhen you breathe what they call thoracic
(15:53):
lee up here, you're sending a messageto your brain that you're in trouble,
so your brain doesn't knowthe difference between,
you know, that old fight or flightcaveman days.
There was a time where we human race
was running from danger.
I'm a real danger,and we needed that extra
(16:16):
adrenaline flowing throughso we could running get away.
Have is in my house every now and then.
When I took off, my wife.
She's got the curling. Iron.
I run like you know what?
And that's when you need the adrenaline.
Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yes.
But the momentyou get your breath down into your belly
(16:37):
and think about, a dog
or a catwhen they're sleeping or a toddler,
their bellies are going up and downand the only time
they're breathing from uphere is when a baby's crying.
A dog is barking,a cat's meowing because they're upset.
So we're suppose to be breathingnormally through,
(17:01):
you know, our, our abdominal area,
there are diaphragm.
And when you do that, you send a message
to your brain that you're okay
and you couldn't have stressful thoughts
or an anxiety panic attack
because your brain shuts off the valves
(17:23):
to the adrenaline and to the cortisol,you know, all of that.
And then you just begin to feel relaxed.
Now you hone in on the dopamine.
There you go.
Good feeling chemicals.
Yes, yes.
Because because actuallywe're not getting up and running.
So let's say you're sitting at your desk
and you're very stressed about work,and your brain starts
(17:44):
sending out like this adrenalineand you start to feel okay.
You stop the clock, but.
No, your heart starts racing.
Your palms get sweaty because your brainis saying, do something.
You're not doing anything.
You're not runningbecause we're not running for danger.
Hopefully we're not running from dangerall the time.
So the only way to counteractthat is to say,
(18:06):
I'm going to take a deep breathand I'll show you a really trick, quick
trick with. And trigger quick trick.
That's right. Quick quick quick quick.
Whatever.
This is organic, folks.
This is organic. Nothing.
You know slick about this, right? Nothing.
And while you're talking about that,
I heard a ding on my phone,so I'm not sure if I,
(18:28):
But while you're doing that,I'm just going to show you.
There we go.
If you close off one nostril.
I do this in the car and I'll just, like,lean like this.
So, you know, it doesn't look like you'repicking your nose or anything but,
but if you just close off one nostril
and you take a breath in through
that nostril, out that nostril,
(18:51):
it automatically makes you diaphragmaticbreathe.
It just automatically does that.
So and you can alternate three times
on each sideand you're just going to feel better.
I guaranteeyou you're going to feel better.
So just a little trick that.
I do that in the morningto the breathing exercises
after reading your book with that too,I don't necessarily always, you know.
(19:14):
You don't have to do that,but I. Just love taking it to.
Yes. And just breathe it.
Right.
And anytime I feel stressedor a little bit I do that and I'll do it
5 to 10 times.
And all of a sudden like you saidI feel so much better.
You know I read a book years ago,that's where I got this from,
like the Art of breathing.
(19:34):
And I was fascinated by this,that we are meant
to be breathing in through our nostrilsand out through nostrils.
And that's why we have nose hairs,
because it captures the pollenand the dust and all of that.
There's a purpose for that.
In fact,the only time we should be breathing like
this is when we're speaking.
(19:54):
And even when we're eating,we should be silent.
And I know in many other countriesit's very sacred when they're eating.
And a lot of timeswhat happens in restaurants, people choke.
Why are they choking?
They have a mouthful of foodand they're laughing and talking
and it gets sucked in.
So I'm also very mindful of that.
(20:15):
I like to be really quietwhen I'm eating and,
and be mindfuleven before you put that first fork
in your mouth to say thank you.
Thank you for the food on my table.
Thank you to all the peopleit took to bring you this food.
And it just slows things
(20:36):
down and makes you feel good.
So wake up to that fact within yourselfand you're going to feel a lot
better in life.
It's hard to be negativewhen you're grateful when you see.
And that's a real good pointabout the food when you're sitting down.
Patti and I will do our prayers,you know, before we eat at night,
thanking,you know, thanking God for the food.
But we also thank, you know,the Amazon driver comes up.
(20:56):
The driver. Yes, we thank him.
We yes, we pray for the gentleman,as you know, emptying our garbage cans.
Yes. Thank you for all the mailman.
Rice. Everywhere you go.
Thank you so much for the cashier.Thank you so much for that.
Waiter waitress, thank youso much for the chef in the back.
You know, cooking our food restaurantwhen you when you're in a
a state of gratitude, it reallykind of brings you back into the center.
(21:20):
It does.
It automaticallyputs you in a good mood again.
Again, it's not easy.
But we have to be intentional.
You have to be intentional. Intentional.
Right? Right.
And it's like, I always think of gratitude
like a bucket of ice water,you know, throwing on a fire.
It just puts it out.
(21:41):
Whatever you're upset aboutwhen you stop, right, to be grateful,
it just comes everything.
In the bucket of ice on the fire.
Then throwing it on you. Yes.
I wouldn't be so grateful if that wasthrown off. No, I wouldn't want that up.
But I wouldn't want to sit in the fireright there.
Even though people do say.
Cold plunges are really good foryou mean for the immune system? Yes.
(22:03):
Yes, but that's a whole other episode.
Yes. We have to have my friend Kazeemon our show
because he does that every week and chopsthe ice and goes, yes, yes.
And he's he's quite the healthy mentaland body wise. Yes.
And he wrote a book.We should get him on here.
Am I shouldwe should. He wrote a children's book.
(22:25):
But this children's bookreally is for adults as well, right?
Yeah.
So when.
So are we going to wake up to,
to gratitudeevery day and don't tell the same story?
I think that's the basis of the show, iswhat story
are you telling thatmaybe you're identified with?
(22:46):
Oh, it did just remind me of CarolineMace, Carolyn
Mace, and a lot of peoplepronounce it mis, but she pronounces her.
Her last name is mace.
Oh, yeah, but it's m y s s.
And 30 years ago I read.
30 years ago I read a book of hers
and she said, and she's a greatshe's a great intuitive.
(23:09):
I don't know exactly what her title is,but she's certainly an author as speaker.
And she's, she's pretty tough with people.
And she said she was in a restaurant, and,
she saw some people she knew at the table,and they introduced her around.
And the woman said to her, hi, my name is,you know, whatever my my name is,
you know, Sarah, and, I'm recoveringfrom cancer and blah, blah, blah.
(23:35):
And Carolyn said to her,why did you feel it was necessary
to introduce yourselfas a cancer patient or in recovery?
And she said, because I am, she says,no, you are more than that.
You know, like,why don't you drop that story?
That's not your identity.
You're you're battling cancer right now,but that's not who you are.
(23:57):
Right?
So I think that would be our suggestionto people.
I think what follows the wordsI am is really important.
Stream, Lee. Important.
You know.
Yeah.
That, I am a big talker, not a victim.
Right.
Say that to yourselfeach time when you wake up in the morning.
I'm a victor, not a victim.
And so many timeswe focus on negative when we say things.
(24:19):
Oh, I can't do that.
I can't do this. I can't do that.
Well, how can you, take the,
the t out of can't and the apologyand make it a can.
What we say over ourselves really means somuch, right?
We have enough of the world out therebeing against us.
We need to be for ourselves.
Yes, and have fun with that. Yeah.
(24:41):
You know, if someone comes over to youand says, hi, you know, size to me
who, like, who are you?
Just say,I am grateful to meet you, right?
Yeah, that's who I am. Sure.
And I always say all the time,you know, when people reach out to me
on Facebook or Instagramand and friend me up,
I'll say, you know,thank you so much for the reach out.
I'm very grateful.
(25:01):
And like my wife and I always sayyou can always gain a new friend.
And people love that.
It's just a warmness about it.
But that's true.
And we could all gain a new friend. Right.
And we want to gain you as our friends.
So will you. Please be our friend.
Yeah.
Like, you know if you like listeningto us, like us, subscribe
and tell people about usbecause we want to spread,
(25:24):
the joy, of course,but we want to spread peace
within you,because then that spreads to other people.
And we need this now more than ever.
The world is always going to need it,right?
I look up biographies way backthat took place in the 30s or 40s.
There's always strife going on.
Every every time's be tumultuous.No way it has.
(25:45):
But during the most tumultuous times,I think the good rises up also.
So be part of that campaign.
I say. The cream always rises to the topthat.
Well, you know,yes it does. It really does.
But you could find us on YouTubeand iHeart and I believe.
Whatever.
Spotify, Apple, just Googlejust what they tell a friend about us.
(26:05):
Please.
Yes, I really appreciate that.Thank you for listening.
Thank you so much for checking outwhat's good with John and Joyce.
And, a lot of lovefor you and your family.
Bye for now. Bye.
Feels good to be here again. Itdoes? Yeah.
So what did you do? Just breeze in here?
Just breeze in here?Yeah. Yeah. That's right.
So I have my jacket on, you know, but,Yeah.
Yeah. It's been a busy morning here.
You out there running errands?
And how was your day today?
It was. It wasn't.
And it was an interesting day, you know,
(00:21):
Our show is about today.
We're going to talk about.
What are we talking about?
We're talking about.
You're asking me to remember thatI wake up.
Wake up.
Oh, yeah. Okay. Wake up.
I have my coffee yet, so.
Yeah, I cannot wait.
You know, just deal with waterhere, Joyce.
(00:44):
So when you woke up today.
You have a great routine in the morning.
You know I tell everyone what you dobecause I, I'm just so impressed.
When I wake up in the morning.
And I made a concerted effortover the past year
to especially I pretty much donethis most of my life choice.
But over the past yearit just everything seemed to coincide,
(01:06):
with my faithjust getting deeper and deeper each
and every, you know, yearfor that matter, up to this point.
But I get up in the morning,I do my prayers,
and then I do my gratitude exercises.
What am I grateful for
and who I'm going to get togetherwith during the course of the day?
So I'm, I'm, I pray foryou and your family.
I pray for the folks herethat are doing the recording,
(01:26):
you know, Steph and Dave in the back here
and, and just people that are goingto be coming in contact with
and and developing that metal armorbefore I go out into the world.
Because let's face it,the world is crazy right now.
It's crazy in a lot of ways,
but there's a lot of beauty out theretoo, as well,
where you look and then I'll do my yogaand my Pilates exercises.
So it's spirit,mind, body each and every day.
(01:48):
So by the time I walk out of my roomin the morning,
7:00, 750 and I have all that doneand I'll scurry down the hall,
hang out with the kitty cats,not hang out with my bride.
You know, feedthe nerds and just, you know,
kind of plan out the day.
But I don't want anythingrandom to come into my life.
I don't want to check emails.
(02:08):
Yeah. News right away. Yes.
I want to dictate and be intentionalabout my day right?
Because too many times people run out,they check.
They check the phone, they listen tothe news, and then that impacts their day.
And they're really playing from defenseat that point, right?
I rather be offensive. Right?
Yeah. So perfect.
And when you say you pray for people,you really do pray for people.
(02:31):
I see it all the time.
So many people are hurting right now.
And it, everybody you run to run intois battling something.
So I try to spend more time doing that.
And, and I love when, you know, Godputs people in front of me that I can pray
for, be good to him.
I really enjoy doing that. Right. Right.
How about you.
Well you know, it's, it's funnythat our show is called, you know, wake up
(02:54):
and we're going to talk about don'tkeep telling the same story over and over.
And Groundhog Day.
Yeah. And I think not
to keep referencing my books,but I think it was in my first book.
Where is your book as some.
That's okay. Is it is it available now?
The abundantly they
both are starving your fearsby think and starving your fears right.
(03:17):
I wrote about.
Oh, thank you for holding up my book.
Yeah, well, it's worth it.I read the whole thing.
Okay.Can you tell why I like the color blue?
And I'm wearing a blue and a blue.
You got blue, too.
But I talk about,
it, you know,whatever happens in your life
the most, you should tell it's likethree people and then be done with it.
(03:41):
So the important people would be,
you know, your spouse,your doctor, your minister.
But after that,if you keep telling the story, your brain
doesn't know the difference betweenit happening now or happening in the past.
And it keeps youin that state of of agitation.
So what most people don't know,
(04:01):
except for good friendslike you or my doctor,
doctors.
Is that three months ago,I was in a pretty bad car accident.
And so people think, oh, you know, Joyce'slife is so great.
She's so positive.
So three months ago, it was a challenge.
You know, I got hithead on by someone really shocking.
(04:24):
My grandson's in the car with me.
Ambulance ride, the whole thing.
And the first thing I noticedis that afterwards,
people who knew who were therearound there said, who was that person?
Don't you hate them?
Don't you hate him? What's his name?
And I thought,no, I didn't have any feeling like that.
(04:47):
I thought he didn't begin his daythinking, I'm
going to go out and smashmy own car up to.
So I prayed for him
and the womanthat was in the car with them.
And I never saw them.
You know?
In fact, I don't remember too much
about that except thefor some reason, the ambulance ride.
(05:11):
But I
don't like to talk about itbecause I don't want to keep
reminding my body and my mind
that this terrible thing happened.
It happened.
I'm dealing with it.
And last night
was probably a really tough nightin my life because for some reason,
(05:34):
every two hours I was jolted awake
by a new pain shooting up into my head.
And at one point I thought,are you going to die?
And then I thought, you know what?
I'm too tired to go to the emergency room.
So seriously,
if I wake up in the morning,it must mean that I'm supposed to be here.
So when I woke up this morning,I said I'm alive.
(05:57):
I guess I'm supposed to be.
Here, but I love how the fact is, it,you basically forgave this person.
Absolutely. And and that frees you up.
And if you keep going over itand we start developing animus
toward that person, or.
Yes, anger, we keep reliving that accidentover and over again.
Right. Same situation over and over again.
And I understand where people are.
(06:18):
They're well-meaning
people who want you upset about,but it doesn't really do any good, right?
It doesn't really do any good.
So we're just better offjust to forgive, move on.
We're not forgiving the offense.
We're forgiving for our sake,just to move on.
I thought it was a, a great test, in lifealso because
just because, we have a strong faith,things happen.
(06:43):
And it'salways about how we react to things,
you know,not even the circumstance that happened.
And that's a good point, because when youI learned this from a mentor years ago,
when you respond, practice to respond.
You're in control.
But if you react thenthe situation of the person is in control.
(07:03):
So respond.
And then you have that control react.
You put that situation. Yeah. Person.Yeah.
It's not easy.
It's not easy to dobecause you know we our initial reaction
being feelings is anger.
Yeah.
And some people watch you right nowwere saying how can you forgive.
What are you saying. Easy. What are you.What are you crazy?
And I get that I understand that, butat the same time, I've learned with wisdom
(07:27):
over the years, you know, as we maturedor gotten older, you know, just to,
just just to roll with it, the things,like you said, things are going to happen.
Rain falls on the just.
Rain falls on the unjust, like it says.
No, absolutely.There was a time in my life
for like years,I am embarrassed to say how many years.
(07:48):
I was really angry with a person.
I mean, I
it was pretty much hatred at times.
And if I wrote it on paperand handed it to someone, why,
you would all agree with me like, whoa.
And not too long ago,
I sat on my bed
(08:09):
and I'll never forget that moment.
And I just shut my I shut my door.
I sat on my bed and I said, God,
I am so tired of being angryat this person.
I don't knowwhat their whole life is like.
I don't know whythey are the way they are,
(08:29):
but I'm releasing this to you.
You handle this person, I can't,
and from this moment on and this fight,I said this from this moment on,
I will never speak ill of this personagain.
I will send love.
(08:50):
I let it go.
And within 48 hours
I got a email from this person.
Years I haven't received an email
and the opening line was, Dear Joyce,
I have no idea what happened between us,
(09:11):
but I am sure it was my fault.
Is there any way you knowwe could get together?
I wrote back, absolutely.
And when that person walked in my house,we embraced
and it's just done.
What a healing.
I could do a healing.
Let me tell you, John,this went on for 20 years.
(09:33):
That's a. Long time.
It was 20 years.
I was telling that story to anyonewho would listen to anyone in my circle.
Right.
You know, to the point where they wouldsay, oh, how is that going?
And I and I and they,they heard all these stories
and everything, but I just got sick of it.
But look at the miracle.
(09:54):
Within 48. Hours, it was in 48.
Wow. Yeah.
I don't know what happened between us,
but I'm sure it was my faultand really was.
Can you forgive me?
And now, if you were to tell me
any part of that story, I am like Teflon.
(10:15):
It doesn't even make sense to me.
I just have complete love for that person.
And other peoplewill speak ill of this person at times.
And, I'm quiet.
I don't say anything.
And I just said, you know, the mostI'll say is I don't feel that way.
Yeah. You know, anymore.
(10:35):
Yeah.
And that's one thingI try not to get myself lured into.
You know, to your point, there is,when I hear people speaking ill of people,
I don't want to be drawn into the drama
and the gossip,
because if they're gossiping about thatperson is speaking
ill of them, chances are they're speakingill or gossiping about me.
Yeah.
How many times have you had people go upto you and say, just between you and me?
(10:57):
And we know they saidthat to several other people, right?
Right. Just between you and me.
Although when I say it to you,I do mean it.
I know what I love. What you say to me.
You say you, me and Patty, right?
And it's like, of course.
Yeah. Because.Because my wife and I are one. Yes.
And that's a good point.
Because when people do say that to me,I say, listen,
you know, my the only person I'll tellis my wife, right.
(11:18):
You know, and oh well that's okay.They expect. That.
Yes, yes. Yeah.
But typically a lot of people, you know,the people that are prone to gossiping,
maybe I should phrase my I know answerthat way, I know, I know and it just.
But you're right.
And you and you knowbecause you've heard through the grapevine
some things they've saidjust between you and me.
(11:39):
And somebody elsehas repeated the same thing to you.
I always tell people,
if you say that to me, I guarantee youit will never get back to you.
Yes, ever. You are so trust. Never.
Know.
You'reyou're like my priest in the confessional.
You're really. Oh, father John.
Bless me, father, for I have sinned.
And they call me the Jim Hallmark.
Johnny.
(12:01):
Hallmark.
Johnny, I love that.
Oh, thanks.
No, you are a hallmark movie.
Yes. In the back and the control room.
You can edit that part out there.
All right. Okay. Yeah.
Right now, because a lot of people think,you know, what we talked about before.
Is John really that way all the time?
You know, you're very upbeat.
I am I'm almost like anybody else.
(12:22):
But you listen to people too,you know, that's a gift.
That's a gift. And and you hear them.
And I see the empathy in your eyes.
And when you say you're going to prayfor someone, like I said,
you really pray for themand you hold them in your heart.
And that really is a gift.
And we can all do that when we were.
(12:44):
We may not be born that way.
I wasn't I think it was something
that I had to learn and work on.
And until it becomes a habit.
So practice it daily, like wake up,
you have the power,you have way more power than you realize.
(13:05):
You have the power to turn off the news.
You have the powerto think better thoughts.
Don't be drawn into the negative.
There's there's little in lifeprobably, that we have control over.
But, you know, the old saying isyou control your thoughts and control.
You can choose your words.
Oh, you can you can manifest your realityin so many ways
(13:28):
just by the words you speak over yourself.
Yeah, you speak
and the way you wake up in the morninglike we had talked about just moments ago.
Just be intentional about your day. Right?
You know,because there's just so much chaos.
There's so many peoplethat want to sabotage your day or,
you know, vie for your time.And that's all good.
But you've got to really protect yourselftoo and protect your time, protect you.
(13:49):
You would you could pray
for everybody and love everybody,but you also have to protect your time.
Yeah. You do.
And, you know, I would suggest to everyoneto, you know, I wanted to say
try for a day not to be judgmental,but how about you try for five minutes?
Sometimes that could even seem.
(14:10):
Like increments.
Little increments.
Be mindful of that every day.
Because every time you judge or you hate,you send anger.
You lose energy.
And I will.
I am very protective.
I will not let that happen to myself.
Smart too.
Because the thing is, a lot of diseases,I believe,
(14:30):
based on what I read, comes from the term.
Well, disease really means lack of these.
So when you have that lack of use,
I really believe itmanifests to in the body.
Right.
And if we hate and we use all that,there's only so much energy
we have in our body,only so much energy in our cup.
So let's fill it up with positivitythe most we can.
(14:50):
Yes, let's face it.
You know, we're not,none of us are perfect.
We all judge by nature.
Yeah, unfortunately, we do that.
We see someoneand we judge that within five 1015 20s.
But we just need to kind of correctour thought a little bit
before we judge,you know, and look at ourselves.
We're far from perfect right.
(15:11):
We have a lot of flaws. Yeah.
And I don't, I have a lot.
As long as we're alivewe're gonna have a lot of a lot of flaws.
But if you find yourself getting,getting tense and, you know,
because I work with people with phobiasand anxiety and everything, just
as simpleas reminding yourself to breathe.
(15:33):
So even right now,whether you're driving and listening,
don't close your eyes for it.
But, relax your shouldersbecause so many times
we have our shoulders up to our earsand we don't realize it.
But relax your shouldersand take in a belly breath
because here's what happenswhen you breathe what they call thoracic
(15:53):
lee up here, you're sending a messageto your brain that you're in trouble,
so your brain doesn't knowthe difference between,
you know, that old fight or flightcaveman days.
There was a time where we human race
was running from danger.
I'm a real danger,and we needed that extra
(16:16):
adrenaline flowing throughso we could running get away.
Have is in my house every now and then.
When I took off, my wife.
She's got the curling. Iron.
I run like you know what?
And that's when you need the adrenaline.
Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yes.
But the momentyou get your breath down into your belly
(16:37):
and think about, a dog
or a catwhen they're sleeping or a toddler,
their bellies are going up and downand the only time
they're breathing from uphere is when a baby's crying.
A dog is barking,a cat's meowing because they're upset.
So we're suppose to be breathingnormally through,
(17:01):
you know, our, our abdominal area,
there are diaphragm.
And when you do that, you send a message
to your brain that you're okay
and you couldn't have stressful thoughts
or an anxiety panic attack
because your brain shuts off the valves
(17:23):
to the adrenaline and to the cortisol,you know, all of that.
And then you just begin to feel relaxed.
Now you hone in on the dopamine.
There you go.
Good feeling chemicals.
Yes, yes.
Because because actuallywe're not getting up and running.
So let's say you're sitting at your desk
and you're very stressed about work,and your brain starts
(17:44):
sending out like this adrenalineand you start to feel okay.
You stop the clock, but.
No, your heart starts racing.
Your palms get sweaty because your brainis saying, do something.
You're not doing anything.
You're not runningbecause we're not running for danger.
Hopefully we're not running from dangerall the time.
So the only way to counteractthat is to say,
(18:06):
I'm going to take a deep breathand I'll show you a really trick, quick
trick with. And trigger quick trick.
That's right. Quick quick quick quick.
Whatever.
This is organic, folks.
This is organic. Nothing.
You know slick about this, right? Nothing.
And while you're talking about that,
I heard a ding on my phone,so I'm not sure if I,
(18:28):
But while you're doing that,I'm just going to show you.
There we go.
If you close off one nostril.
I do this in the car and I'll just, like,lean like this.
So, you know, it doesn't look like you'repicking your nose or anything but,
but if you just close off one nostril
and you take a breath in through
that nostril, out that nostril,
(18:51):
it automatically makes you diaphragmaticbreathe.
It just automatically does that.
So and you can alternate three times
on each sideand you're just going to feel better.
I guaranteeyou you're going to feel better.
So just a little trick that.
I do that in the morningto the breathing exercises
after reading your book with that too,I don't necessarily always, you know.
(19:14):
You don't have to do that,but I. Just love taking it to.
Yes. And just breathe it.
Right.
And anytime I feel stressedor a little bit I do that and I'll do it
5 to 10 times.
And all of a sudden like you saidI feel so much better.
You know I read a book years ago,that's where I got this from,
like the Art of breathing.
(19:34):
And I was fascinated by this,that we are meant
to be breathing in through our nostrilsand out through nostrils.
And that's why we have nose hairs,
because it captures the pollenand the dust and all of that.
There's a purpose for that.
In fact,the only time we should be breathing like
this is when we're speaking.
(19:54):
And even when we're eating,we should be silent.
And I know in many other countriesit's very sacred when they're eating.
And a lot of timeswhat happens in restaurants, people choke.
Why are they choking?
They have a mouthful of foodand they're laughing and talking
and it gets sucked in.
So I'm also very mindful of that.
(20:15):
I like to be really quietwhen I'm eating and,
and be mindfuleven before you put that first fork
in your mouth to say thank you.
Thank you for the food on my table.
Thank you to all the peopleit took to bring you this food.
And it just slows things
(20:36):
down and makes you feel good.
So wake up to that fact within yourselfand you're going to feel a lot
better in life.
It's hard to be negativewhen you're grateful when you see.
And that's a real good pointabout the food when you're sitting down.
Patti and I will do our prayers,you know, before we eat at night,
thanking,you know, thanking God for the food.
But we also thank, you know,the Amazon driver comes up.
(20:56):
The driver. Yes, we thank him.
We yes, we pray for the gentleman,as you know, emptying our garbage cans.
Yes. Thank you for all the mailman.
Rice. Everywhere you go.
Thank you so much for the cashier.Thank you so much for that.
Waiter waitress, thank youso much for the chef in the back.
You know, cooking our food restaurantwhen you when you're in a
a state of gratitude, it reallykind of brings you back into the center.
(21:20):
It does.
It automaticallyputs you in a good mood again.
Again, it's not easy.
But we have to be intentional.
You have to be intentional. Intentional.
Right? Right.
And it's like, I always think of gratitude
like a bucket of ice water,you know, throwing on a fire.
It just puts it out.
(21:41):
Whatever you're upset aboutwhen you stop, right, to be grateful,
it just comes everything.
In the bucket of ice on the fire.
Then throwing it on you. Yes.
I wouldn't be so grateful if that wasthrown off. No, I wouldn't want that up.
But I wouldn't want to sit in the fireright there.
Even though people do say.
Cold plunges are really good foryou mean for the immune system? Yes.
(22:03):
Yes, but that's a whole other episode.
Yes. We have to have my friend Kazeemon our show
because he does that every week and chopsthe ice and goes, yes, yes.
And he's he's quite the healthy mentaland body wise. Yes.
And he wrote a book.We should get him on here.
Am I shouldwe should. He wrote a children's book.
(22:25):
But this children's bookreally is for adults as well, right?
Yeah.
So when.
So are we going to wake up to,
to gratitudeevery day and don't tell the same story?
I think that's the basis of the show, iswhat story
are you telling thatmaybe you're identified with?
(22:46):
Oh, it did just remind me of CarolineMace, Carolyn
Mace, and a lot of peoplepronounce it mis, but she pronounces her.
Her last name is mace.
Oh, yeah, but it's m y s s.
And 30 years ago I read.
30 years ago I read a book of hers
and she said, and she's a greatshe's a great intuitive.
(23:09):
I don't know exactly what her title is,but she's certainly an author as speaker.
And she's, she's pretty tough with people.
And she said she was in a restaurant, and,
she saw some people she knew at the table,and they introduced her around.
And the woman said to her, hi, my name is,you know, whatever my my name is,
you know, Sarah, and, I'm recoveringfrom cancer and blah, blah, blah.
(23:35):
And Carolyn said to her,why did you feel it was necessary
to introduce yourselfas a cancer patient or in recovery?
And she said, because I am, she says,no, you are more than that.
You know, like,why don't you drop that story?
That's not your identity.
You're you're battling cancer right now,but that's not who you are.
(23:57):
Right?
So I think that would be our suggestionto people.
I think what follows the wordsI am is really important.
Stream, Lee. Important.
You know.
Yeah.
That, I am a big talker, not a victim.
Right.
Say that to yourselfeach time when you wake up in the morning.
I'm a victor, not a victim.
And so many timeswe focus on negative when we say things.
(24:19):
Oh, I can't do that.
I can't do this. I can't do that.
Well, how can you, take the,
the t out of can't and the apologyand make it a can.
What we say over ourselves really means somuch, right?
We have enough of the world out therebeing against us.
We need to be for ourselves.
Yes, and have fun with that. Yeah.
(24:41):
You know, if someone comes over to youand says, hi, you know, size to me
who, like, who are you?
Just say,I am grateful to meet you, right?
Yeah, that's who I am. Sure.
And I always say all the time,you know, when people reach out to me
on Facebook or Instagramand and friend me up,
I'll say, you know,thank you so much for the reach out.
I'm very grateful.
(25:01):
And like my wife and I always sayyou can always gain a new friend.
And people love that.
It's just a warmness about it.
But that's true.
And we could all gain a new friend. Right.
And we want to gain you as our friends.
So will you. Please be our friend.
Yeah.
Like, you know if you like listeningto us, like us, subscribe
and tell people about usbecause we want to spread,
(25:24):
the joy, of course,but we want to spread peace
within you,because then that spreads to other people.
And we need this now more than ever.
The world is always going to need it,right?
I look up biographies way backthat took place in the 30s or 40s.
There's always strife going on.
Every every time's be tumultuous.No way it has.
(25:45):
But during the most tumultuous times,I think the good rises up also.
So be part of that campaign.
I say. The cream always rises to the topthat.
Well, you know,yes it does. It really does.
But you could find us on YouTubeand iHeart and I believe.
Whatever.
Spotify, Apple, just Googlejust what they tell a friend about us.
(26:05):
Please.
Yes, I really appreciate that.Thank you for listening.
Thank you so much for checking outwhat's good with John and Joyce.
And, a lot of lovefor you and your family.
Bye for now. Bye.
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