July 30, 2025 • 12 mins
Have you ever had a moment of startling clarity about how the people closest to you actually experience you? That's exactly what happened when my six-year-old daughter observed my husband and me dancing in our kitchen and declared we were "in rare form." Those three words stopped me in my tracks.
As someone who considers herself playful and lighthearted, I was struck by the realization that my children rarely witness that side of my relationship with my husband. Our playful moments typically happen late at night after they're asleep, while our days are consumed by the practical responsibilities of family life. This insight led me to question not just how my children perceive our relationship, but how my husband experiences me as well.
This revelation could have been crushing. Instead, it became a powerful opportunity to bridge the gap between my authentic self and how I show up day-to-day. The mirrors provided by those we love offer invaluable feedback about who we are versus who we want to be. When we can receive this feedback openly, without spiraling into feelings of failure or inadequacy, we gain a roadmap for growth.
Conscious partnership isn't a destination but a lifelong journey of learning and evolving. Each mirror, each moment of clarity, gives us another opportunity to align our actions with our values. I invite you to reflect on how the important people in your life experience you. Is there alignment between your perception of yourself and how others see you? The answer might surprise you—and it might just transform your relationships.
How would your loved ones describe the way you typically show up? What would it look like to intentionally create more moments that reflect your authentic self? Share your thoughts or reach out to me on social media!
- If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!
For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello and welcome to the when Depression is in your
Bed podcast.
Starting today, I'll be sharingsome moments from my real
current life about what itactually looks like to be a
conscious partner in a consciouspartnership.
In this episode, I'll besharing a glimpse of how
feedback from the most importantpeople in my life has helped me
to see who I really want to bewith much greater clarity, and
also how it's helped me shapehow I want to show up in my
(00:23):
day-to-day life.
I'm Trish Sanders Sanders and Iam delighted that you are here.
Let's get started.
In the last episode I sharedthat as sort of a summer break,
I was going to be doing what Icalled mini episodes for the
next six weeks, and I'm notquite sure if they will end up
being quote-unquote mini,although I imagine they probably
will end up being a little bitshorter than my typical episodes
(00:46):
so far.
But my vision for theseepisodes is a little bit
different than how I approachthe first six months of content.
In the first six months, I wasthinking about the lessons I
have learned and the informationthat I have come across and the
experiences I've had that Ithink could be helpful for other
people to know, and so Istarted out with what I wish I
had known many years ago or hadbeen able to access a long time
(01:10):
ago, because I think it wouldhave shaped how I showed up in
my relationship and, of course,how my relationship felt if I
had had that information earlier.
So I shared the information orthe lesson or the learning
really with you and I tried touse examples from my life to
support and illustrate theinformation that I was sharing
with you.
And I tried to use examplesfrom my life to support and
illustrate the information thatI was sharing with you.
But for the next six weeks, I'mgoing to flip that and do it a
little bit differently and I'mgoing to talk about current
(01:33):
happenings that actually aregoing on in my life and in my
relationship right now,something that has happened from
during my week, and use that toillustrate a learning or an
example or how I think about myinteractions with my husband and
also even with my kids now,based on what I've learned.
So I hope that hearing about mycurrent day-to-day life is
something that maybe you canrelate to and I hope perhaps you
(01:56):
can even learn something fromit.
So let's see how this kind ofepisode goes.
I would really love for you tolet me know on social media on
Instagram, on LinkedIn how theseepisodes land for you, to let
me know on social media onInstagram, on LinkedIn how these
episodes land for you, becauseI'm really curious what feels
like useful, interesting,engaging content for you,
because that's certainly what Iwant to provide.
So, right after I decided to dothese mini episodes based on my
real life experiences that arehappening now, as opposed to my
(02:19):
historical real life experiences, things that may have happened
5, 10 or 15 plus years ago I hadthis experience and I
immediately thought, ooh, thisis the first episode that I'm
going to share in this littlemini summer series.
I called it mini episodes, butI'm kind of thinking about it as
moments in real life ofconscious, connected couples.
So that's how I think about itand that's what I'm sharing
(02:40):
today.
So just a little background forthis story.
My husband Ben I'm sharingtoday.
So just a little background forthis story.
My husband Ben frequently usesthe term in rare form and he
uses it oftentimes to refer tome when I'm acting silly or
goofy or lighthearted and intruth, I actually don't think
that's rare form for me, butI'll touch on that more in a
little bit, but it's importantto know that because it's a term
(03:00):
that is used with somefrequency or, you know, some
regularity around my household.
So the other day, ben and I werein the kitchen dancing and we
were also singing our weddingsong, which is you Found Me by
Kelly Clarkson, and our kidswere sitting at the table and
they were looking at us likemaybe we were from another
planet, and I imagine that my13-year-old may have found it to
(03:20):
be cringeworthy, even thoughthere was nobody else around to
watch this happening.
And our six-year-old daughterlooked at us and she said wow,
you guys are in rare form.
And in the moment it really wasjust so funny to hear her say
that, knowing that Ben says thatabout things, and she really
used it in the proper contextand it just seemed funny coming
(03:40):
out of my six-year-olddaughter's mouth, right.
So we kind of all laughed.
But then I started to reallythink, like, were we in rare
form?
Was this something?
Was this fun, engaging,connected, playful way of acting
together, dancing in thekitchen, something that my kids
didn't really see?
And I started to think and Isaid well, ben and I do
sometimes dance in the kitchenand we do have those moments.
(04:03):
But when I thought about it,they usually happen really later
at night, when the kids areasleep, you know, when we're
putting the dishes in thedishwasher and kind of finishing
up for the night.
And it doesn't happen superfrequently, I wouldn't say
either, but it definitelyhappens.
It's something that we do.
But I realized maybe it wasn'tsomething that always happened
in front of my children, and sothen I kind of started thinking
about what they do witness dayto day, and maybe there's a lot
(04:26):
of busyness or a lot ofpractical stuff about making
sure we have what we need forlunch or making sure that
homework is done, or, during thesummer, making sure that
they've practiced theirinstruments or cleaned up their
room or something like that.
And so I realized that eventhough I do think, and I would
consider us a fun family, Ithink we do a lot of fun, cool
things together In our actualday-to-day life we're not always
(04:47):
having that playful, engaging,fun experience.
I think as a family all four ofus, but also I don't think they
see that between Ben and I Ithink that we can get swept up
in the busyness of theday-to-day and we're not always
slowing down to enjoy themoments so fully.
And so when I realized that, Iimmediately felt pretty heavy,
pretty sad, like oh gosh, youknow we're not making good use
(05:11):
of these precious moments, thatour kids are young and they
don't see us as playfullyengaged parents and, especially
given the long history oftension and challenge that Ben
and I have grown through, theyhaven't seen as much not none,
but as much of that fun,engaging relationship that I
would like to really model forthem.
So again it felt pretty heavyfor a moment.
(05:32):
But then I realized thatawareness was really beneficial
and it also made me think aboutwhat I mentioned before, that
Ben says that I'm in rare formwhen he sees me acting silly or
goofy or dancing around theliving room by myself singing
some song on the top of my lungs.
And I realized like, oh, youknow what I feel like I act
silly and goofy and funny andI'm lighthearted a pretty good
(05:53):
amount of the time.
Again, not constantly, but withsome regularity.
But maybe Ben doesn't alwayssee me like that, maybe he does
see me as busy and caught up indoing my work and getting our
life stuff done that needs toget done.
And I realized, again kind ofheavy.
This is not how I want to showup in my life.
I want to be perceived in a waythat feels more aligned with
who I authentically am, and Idon't think that my true,
(06:15):
authentic self is wake up in themorning, be busy, do all this
stuff one thing after another,and then go to sleep and wake up
and do it all again.
I don't think that that's who Itruly am and that's certainly
not how I want to be perceived,not just in the world but really
by the most important people inmy life my husband and my kids.
And so I decided to take thatinformation and really think
about how I can use that toshape how I act day to day.
(06:39):
And so I turned that heavinessand that sadness and, though I
didn't go too far into it, sortof it touched on that feeling
like I failed.
It definitely went close tothat area, like I'm not good
enough.
I'm not doing a good enough jobas a mom, I'm not doing a good
enough job as a partner.
But I didn't go too deep inthere and I came back really
quickly to be able to say, hey,this is great information,
because I had this mirror frommy daughter and I've had this
(07:02):
mirror several times from Benabout how they see me showing up
in this world, and that is atrue gift because then I can
compare that mirror to how Iwant to show up, how I want them
to experience me, and that feltreally exciting.
Like, oh, this is somethingthat I can do something about.
I have control over this, I canchoose my behavior and I can
(07:23):
choose to slow down and makemore moments to be silly and
goofy and engaging and havedance parties in the living room
or whatever, just make momentsthat don't have to be long or
certainly even planned, andallow for that playful,
lighthearted, carefree fun,engaging, really meaningful,
connecting relationship stuff tohappen.
(07:43):
So when this happened and I kindof processed through all that,
I quickly realized like, ooh,this is the thing that I wanna
share on my first little miniepisode, because it's the
experience of certainly howbeing mirrored by these
important people can be areflection to us, if we can pay
attention to that and receivethat feedback, and how we can
really use that, because wedon't arrive as a conscious
partner or in a consciouspartnership like, oh, we're done
(08:05):
, we got here, we're conscious.
It's a whole lifelong processof learning and growing, and I
think that's what really makesit amazing and fun and
delightful it's never boring,there's always opportunity
available, and this littleconflict was an opportunity for
me.
And so the question that I'llleave you with for today is how
do you want to be experienced byyour partner or by other
(08:25):
important people in your lifeperhaps your children or friends
or other family members, thepeople who really matter the
most to you?
And I invite you to comparethat to how you may actually
show up in your day-to-day lifeand to think about how you think
you show up versus, if you'relucky enough to have a mirror,
how people actually see you andif you're able to invite a
mirror or notice, when you'regetting mirrored, how other
(08:47):
people perceive you.
And it's kind of an interestingthing to see how people
perceive you and how youperceive yourself, and I won't
dive into that very deeply, butit is interesting to think about
.
In Imago Relationship Therapy,which is a big part of what I do
with the couples that I workwith, mirroring is a key skill
and it really helps us see whowe are and also, again, informs
who we want to be.
So, even though we certainlycan get caught up in the
(09:09):
busyness of life or in theroutines and all the stuff that
needs to be done.
If we can slow down enough toreally think about who our
authentic self is and what arethe spaces we want to grow into,
we can take something that mayelicit that not good enough and
maybe a little bit of that I'mfailing here.
I certainly can go into thatplace and wonder how can I
stretch and grow?
(09:29):
And we can remind ourselvesthat we aren't destined to be
disconnected or going throughthe motions for our whole life.
We actually have choice hereand we can grow into a bit more
consciousness and we can usethat mirror how we're seen and
how we're perceived by thepeople we love most in our life.
To use it as a little bit of atemperature check how are we
showing up and how do we want toshow up, and how do we make a
(09:52):
little bridge between those sowe can be more and more of our
full, authentic selves?
Because in truth, when we showup in our relationships, we live
a life that is more full,joyfully alive, connected and
much more satisfying.
So please let me know what youthought about today's episode
and I will continue to sharemoments of my current life for
(10:13):
the next few weeks of thepodcast.
As our time comes to a close, Iask you to keep listening for
just a few more moments, becauseI wanna thank you for showing
up today and I want to leave youwith an invitation as you hit,
stop and move back out into theworld on your own unique
wellness journey In order tomove from where you are today to
(10:34):
the place where you want to be.
The path may seem long orunclear or unknown, and I want
you to know that if that seemsscary or daunting or downright
terrifying or anything else,that is totally okay.
Know that you do not have tocreate the whole way all at once
.
We don't travel a whole journeyin one stride, and that is why
(10:56):
my invitation to you today is totake a step, just one, any type
, any size, in any direction.
It can be an external step, itcan be observed or measured, or
it could be a step you visualizein any direction.
It can be an external step, itcan be observed or measured, or
it could be a step you visualize, taking in your mind.
It can be a step towards actionor towards rest or connection
or self-care, or whatever stepmakes sense to you.
(11:19):
I invite you to take a steptoday, because getting to a
place that feels better, morejoyful, more connected than the
place where you are today, ispossible for everyone, including
you, and even when depressionis in your bed.
If today's episode resonatedwith you, please subscribe so
you can be notified when eachweekly episode gets released.
(11:41):
I encourage you to leave areview and reach out to me on
social media at trishsanderslcsw.
Your feedback will help guidefuture episodes and I love
hearing from you.
Also, please share this podcastwith anyone who you think may
be interested or who may getsomething from what I have
shared.
Until the next time we connect,take care of yourself and take
(12:03):
a step.
Hello and welcome to the when Depression is in your
Bed podcast.
Starting today, I'll be sharingsome moments from my real
current life about what itactually looks like to be a
conscious partner in a consciouspartnership.
In this episode, I'll besharing a glimpse of how
feedback from the most importantpeople in my life has helped me
to see who I really want to bewith much greater clarity, and
also how it's helped me shapehow I want to show up in my
(00:23):
day-to-day life.
I'm Trish Sanders Sanders and Iam delighted that you are here.
Let's get started.
In the last episode I sharedthat as sort of a summer break,
I was going to be doing what Icalled mini episodes for the
next six weeks, and I'm notquite sure if they will end up
being quote-unquote mini,although I imagine they probably
will end up being a little bitshorter than my typical episodes
(00:46):
so far.
But my vision for theseepisodes is a little bit
different than how I approachthe first six months of content.
In the first six months, I wasthinking about the lessons I
have learned and the informationthat I have come across and the
experiences I've had that Ithink could be helpful for other
people to know, and so Istarted out with what I wish I
had known many years ago or hadbeen able to access a long time
(01:10):
ago, because I think it wouldhave shaped how I showed up in
my relationship and, of course,how my relationship felt if I
had had that information earlier.
So I shared the information orthe lesson or the learning
really with you and I tried touse examples from my life to
support and illustrate theinformation that I was sharing
with you.
And I tried to use examplesfrom my life to support and
illustrate the information thatI was sharing with you.
But for the next six weeks, I'mgoing to flip that and do it a
little bit differently and I'mgoing to talk about current
(01:33):
happenings that actually aregoing on in my life and in my
relationship right now,something that has happened from
during my week, and use that toillustrate a learning or an
example or how I think about myinteractions with my husband and
also even with my kids now,based on what I've learned.
So I hope that hearing about mycurrent day-to-day life is
something that maybe you canrelate to and I hope perhaps you
(01:56):
can even learn something fromit.
So let's see how this kind ofepisode goes.
I would really love for you tolet me know on social media on
Instagram, on LinkedIn how theseepisodes land for you, to let
me know on social media onInstagram, on LinkedIn how these
episodes land for you, becauseI'm really curious what feels
like useful, interesting,engaging content for you,
because that's certainly what Iwant to provide.
So, right after I decided to dothese mini episodes based on my
real life experiences that arehappening now, as opposed to my
(02:19):
historical real life experiences, things that may have happened
5, 10 or 15 plus years ago I hadthis experience and I
immediately thought, ooh, thisis the first episode that I'm
going to share in this littlemini summer series.
I called it mini episodes, butI'm kind of thinking about it as
moments in real life ofconscious, connected couples.
So that's how I think about itand that's what I'm sharing
(02:40):
today.
So just a little background forthis story.
My husband Ben I'm sharingtoday.
So just a little background forthis story.
My husband Ben frequently usesthe term in rare form and he
uses it oftentimes to refer tome when I'm acting silly or
goofy or lighthearted and intruth, I actually don't think
that's rare form for me, butI'll touch on that more in a
little bit, but it's importantto know that because it's a term
(03:00):
that is used with somefrequency or, you know, some
regularity around my household.
So the other day, ben and I werein the kitchen dancing and we
were also singing our weddingsong, which is you Found Me by
Kelly Clarkson, and our kidswere sitting at the table and
they were looking at us likemaybe we were from another
planet, and I imagine that my13-year-old may have found it to
(03:20):
be cringeworthy, even thoughthere was nobody else around to
watch this happening.
And our six-year-old daughterlooked at us and she said wow,
you guys are in rare form.
And in the moment it really wasjust so funny to hear her say
that, knowing that Ben says thatabout things, and she really
used it in the proper contextand it just seemed funny coming
(03:40):
out of my six-year-olddaughter's mouth, right.
So we kind of all laughed.
But then I started to reallythink, like, were we in rare
form?
Was this something?
Was this fun, engaging,connected, playful way of acting
together, dancing in thekitchen, something that my kids
didn't really see?
And I started to think and Isaid well, ben and I do
sometimes dance in the kitchenand we do have those moments.
(04:03):
But when I thought about it,they usually happen really later
at night, when the kids areasleep, you know, when we're
putting the dishes in thedishwasher and kind of finishing
up for the night.
And it doesn't happen superfrequently, I wouldn't say
either, but it definitelyhappens.
It's something that we do.
But I realized maybe it wasn'tsomething that always happened
in front of my children, and sothen I kind of started thinking
about what they do witness dayto day, and maybe there's a lot
(04:26):
of busyness or a lot ofpractical stuff about making
sure we have what we need forlunch or making sure that
homework is done, or, during thesummer, making sure that
they've practiced theirinstruments or cleaned up their
room or something like that.
And so I realized that eventhough I do think, and I would
consider us a fun family, Ithink we do a lot of fun, cool
things together In our actualday-to-day life we're not always
(04:47):
having that playful, engaging,fun experience.
I think as a family all four ofus, but also I don't think they
see that between Ben and I Ithink that we can get swept up
in the busyness of theday-to-day and we're not always
slowing down to enjoy themoments so fully.
And so when I realized that, Iimmediately felt pretty heavy,
pretty sad, like oh gosh, youknow we're not making good use
(05:11):
of these precious moments, thatour kids are young and they
don't see us as playfullyengaged parents and, especially
given the long history oftension and challenge that Ben
and I have grown through, theyhaven't seen as much not none,
but as much of that fun,engaging relationship that I
would like to really model forthem.
So again it felt pretty heavyfor a moment.
(05:32):
But then I realized thatawareness was really beneficial
and it also made me think aboutwhat I mentioned before, that
Ben says that I'm in rare formwhen he sees me acting silly or
goofy or dancing around theliving room by myself singing
some song on the top of my lungs.
And I realized like, oh, youknow what I feel like I act
silly and goofy and funny andI'm lighthearted a pretty good
(05:53):
amount of the time.
Again, not constantly, but withsome regularity.
But maybe Ben doesn't alwayssee me like that, maybe he does
see me as busy and caught up indoing my work and getting our
life stuff done that needs toget done.
And I realized, again kind ofheavy.
This is not how I want to showup in my life.
I want to be perceived in a waythat feels more aligned with
who I authentically am, and Idon't think that my true,
(06:15):
authentic self is wake up in themorning, be busy, do all this
stuff one thing after another,and then go to sleep and wake up
and do it all again.
I don't think that that's who Itruly am and that's certainly
not how I want to be perceived,not just in the world but really
by the most important people inmy life my husband and my kids.
And so I decided to take thatinformation and really think
about how I can use that toshape how I act day to day.
(06:39):
And so I turned that heavinessand that sadness and, though I
didn't go too far into it, sortof it touched on that feeling
like I failed.
It definitely went close tothat area, like I'm not good
enough.
I'm not doing a good enough jobas a mom, I'm not doing a good
enough job as a partner.
But I didn't go too deep inthere and I came back really
quickly to be able to say, hey,this is great information,
because I had this mirror frommy daughter and I've had this
(07:02):
mirror several times from Benabout how they see me showing up
in this world, and that is atrue gift because then I can
compare that mirror to how Iwant to show up, how I want them
to experience me, and that feltreally exciting.
Like, oh, this is somethingthat I can do something about.
I have control over this, I canchoose my behavior and I can
(07:23):
choose to slow down and makemore moments to be silly and
goofy and engaging and havedance parties in the living room
or whatever, just make momentsthat don't have to be long or
certainly even planned, andallow for that playful,
lighthearted, carefree fun,engaging, really meaningful,
connecting relationship stuff tohappen.
(07:43):
So when this happened and I kindof processed through all that,
I quickly realized like, ooh,this is the thing that I wanna
share on my first little miniepisode, because it's the
experience of certainly howbeing mirrored by these
important people can be areflection to us, if we can pay
attention to that and receivethat feedback, and how we can
really use that, because wedon't arrive as a conscious
partner or in a consciouspartnership like, oh, we're done
(08:05):
, we got here, we're conscious.
It's a whole lifelong processof learning and growing, and I
think that's what really makesit amazing and fun and
delightful it's never boring,there's always opportunity
available, and this littleconflict was an opportunity for
me.
And so the question that I'llleave you with for today is how
do you want to be experienced byyour partner or by other
(08:25):
important people in your lifeperhaps your children or friends
or other family members, thepeople who really matter the
most to you?
And I invite you to comparethat to how you may actually
show up in your day-to-day lifeand to think about how you think
you show up versus, if you'relucky enough to have a mirror,
how people actually see you andif you're able to invite a
mirror or notice, when you'regetting mirrored, how other
(08:47):
people perceive you.
And it's kind of an interestingthing to see how people
perceive you and how youperceive yourself, and I won't
dive into that very deeply, butit is interesting to think about
.
In Imago Relationship Therapy,which is a big part of what I do
with the couples that I workwith, mirroring is a key skill
and it really helps us see whowe are and also, again, informs
who we want to be.
So, even though we certainlycan get caught up in the
(09:09):
busyness of life or in theroutines and all the stuff that
needs to be done.
If we can slow down enough toreally think about who our
authentic self is and what arethe spaces we want to grow into,
we can take something that mayelicit that not good enough and
maybe a little bit of that I'mfailing here.
I certainly can go into thatplace and wonder how can I
stretch and grow?
(09:29):
And we can remind ourselvesthat we aren't destined to be
disconnected or going throughthe motions for our whole life.
We actually have choice hereand we can grow into a bit more
consciousness and we can usethat mirror how we're seen and
how we're perceived by thepeople we love most in our life.
To use it as a little bit of atemperature check how are we
showing up and how do we want toshow up, and how do we make a
(09:52):
little bridge between those sowe can be more and more of our
full, authentic selves?
Because in truth, when we showup in our relationships, we live
a life that is more full,joyfully alive, connected and
much more satisfying.
So please let me know what youthought about today's episode
and I will continue to sharemoments of my current life for
(10:13):
the next few weeks of thepodcast.
As our time comes to a close, Iask you to keep listening for
just a few more moments, becauseI wanna thank you for showing
up today and I want to leave youwith an invitation as you hit,
stop and move back out into theworld on your own unique
wellness journey In order tomove from where you are today to
(10:34):
the place where you want to be.
The path may seem long orunclear or unknown, and I want
you to know that if that seemsscary or daunting or downright
terrifying or anything else,that is totally okay.
Know that you do not have tocreate the whole way all at once
.
We don't travel a whole journeyin one stride, and that is why
(10:56):
my invitation to you today is totake a step, just one, any type
, any size, in any direction.
It can be an external step, itcan be observed or measured, or
it could be a step you visualizein any direction.
It can be an external step, itcan be observed or measured, or
it could be a step you visualize, taking in your mind.
It can be a step towards actionor towards rest or connection
or self-care, or whatever stepmakes sense to you.
(11:19):
I invite you to take a steptoday, because getting to a
place that feels better, morejoyful, more connected than the
place where you are today, ispossible for everyone, including
you, and even when depressionis in your bed.
If today's episode resonatedwith you, please subscribe so
you can be notified when eachweekly episode gets released.
(11:41):
I encourage you to leave areview and reach out to me on
social media at trishsanderslcsw.
Your feedback will help guidefuture episodes and I love
hearing from you.
Also, please share this podcastwith anyone who you think may
be interested or who may getsomething from what I have
shared.
Until the next time we connect,take care of yourself and take
(12:03):
a step.
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