We'd Retire Tomorrow If We Had $5 Million

Welcome back to WATG, where the sarcasm is thick, the dreams are expensive, and the conversations sound like you’re eavesdropping on three guys at a Long Island diner at 2 a.m. after a funeral and a fifth of bourbon.

In this episode, Vince, Kurt, and JK dive headfirst into the fantasy of quitting it all if someone handed them a crisp $5 million check. Spoiler alert: they wouldn't exactly be sipping cocktails in the Maldives—they’d probably still be arguing about whether Staten Island tap water causes memory loss or just bad attitudes.

From sleep-deprived rants about money anxiety to philosophical debates on whether they'd help people or just buy a really nice grill, this one’s packed with painfully relatable insights and inappropriate jokes. Plus: stories about drunk coworkers, Disney trip trauma, shady water filtration schemes, and the kind of travel math that only makes sense when you're running on coffee and four hours of sleep.

If you've ever wanted to know how $5 million could save your soul—or destroy your sanity—this episode's for you.

[00:00] Intro – JK's back and the glue is still drying

[05:23] $5 Million: Freedom or Fantasy?

[12:47] Sleepless nights, money stress, and adulting on hard mode

[24:15] Travel rage, Disney dads, and caffeine-fueled road trips

[30:55] Outro – Existential dread, but make it funny