July 23, 2025 • 28 mins
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In this episode of Wicked Psychotherapists, we dive into Adam Sandler’s Grown Ups and dig into the psychology behind nostalgia, childhood friendships, and the lifelong patterns we carry into adulthood.
From the Gen X childhoods we remember to the pressures of parenting in a digital age, we explore how early bonds shape us—and how even a silly waterpark scene can unpack themes of identity, growth, vulnerability, and healing generational wounds.
Plus: reflections on middle school trauma, how we perform success in adulthood, and the art of repairing friendships (even if it’s been 30 years).
This one’s heartfelt, insightful, and full of laughs—classic Wicked style.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
You are listening to WickedPsychotherapists, a podcast
where two psychotherapists showyou that taking care of and
learning about mental healthdoesn't have to be wicked hat.
Tanya (00:31):
Hey guys, it's Tanya.
Hey,
Erin (00:32):
it's Erin and welcome to Wicked Psychotherapist.
Tanya (00:35):
So yeah, we've been off for a couple of weeks.
Erin, maybe you want to kind of,just, you know, let, let
everybody know listening.
what was going on.
Erin's decided to share a very.
private moment, to let peopleknow what's been going on.
So, Erin, do you wanna?
Erin (00:52):
Sure, yeah, I figure I figured I probably should share
because we post the videos andpeople would probably notice I
have a scar on my neck.
I had to have my thyroidremoved.
I found out that I had thyroidcancer, Because of my past
history of breast cancer,thankfully my doctors scan me
(01:13):
for everything all the time.
so thankfully it's been a goodrecovery but I wasn't sure how I
would be able to talk and stuff,so I told Tanya, let's take a
couple weeks off in case I don'thave a voice or it hurts to sit
up, I'm glad I did take the timeoff because.
I wasn't able to sit up or doanything for the first week.
It was kind of like my neck wastired after a couple, you know,
(01:36):
like a little bit.
But I am good.
Started seeing clients last weekafter I got clearance and yeah,
I'm back.
Glad to be back and glad to be.
Doing this today with you?
Tanya (01:47):
Yeah.
we're all glad to see youhealthy and well, and, happy
that, you had a good recoveryand that we can continue this.
But yeah, definitely happy thatit's, it's a, it was a good
outcome.
So, and we, know people arewishing you well on the
continued, recovery andeverything.
we needed, some time off so Erincould recuperate.
(02:08):
and glad that she did.
Um.
So, yeah.
So, and, and we thought it wouldbe nice to come back and start
with another Adam Sandler movie.
a few weeks back, we said, don'tworry, we're bread crumbing you
there.
And were back with another AdamSandler movie, grownups mm-hmm.
Which is right now on Netflix.
And is actually the first dayand the second one.
(02:29):
that's probably a hint for thefuture for us, but we're just
talking about the first grownupstoday.
so we thought this would be aninteresting one because, Adam
Sandler, but also there's a lotof other comedians and comedic
forces in there.
a lot of big names.
we got David Spade, Chris Rock,Rob Schneider, Kevin James, and
Salma Hayek, Yeah.
she's playing, Lenny's Wife,which is Adam Sandler's
(02:51):
character, and, Maya Rudolphmm-hmm.
Is, is in there.
SL Chris Walk, Rock's Wife.
I think his name is Kurt in themovie.
we just thought this would be areally cool, way to reintroduce
Adam.
So you'll probably be hearingsome more Adam stuff going on as
promised.
hopefully
Erin (03:09):
they,
Tanya (03:09):
Yeah.
Let us know if you want us tostory away, but I mean, that's
where we're headed.
we enjoy that.
it seems to let us
Erin (03:14):
bounce off of different things.
I mean like,'cause that's, andthat's kind of how our mind
works.
You'll see like, we will belike, okay, well we like this
person.
Then we'll start doing somethingelse.
And the nice thing about AdamSandler is his whole cast.
It's like, oh, let's do someDavid Spade, or let's do some
Steve Bi shimmy.
You know, like, let's try tofigure out different things.
So it's.
But then it kind of goes back,goes back to him anyway.
Tanya (03:35):
Always goes back to Adam.
he's the center in our love forthis all.
But yeah, no, definitely an airsign way.
We're both air signs.
you're Gemini.
I'm an Aquarius.
And that's definitely an airsign thing.
That's what we do.
We kind of bounce around, butthere's a method to our madness,
I guess.
Hopefully you guys get it.
Erin (03:49):
If you're listening, you'll hopefully like it,
Tanya (03:51):
it doesn't, but it does to us.
hopefully to you, In some way itmakes sense.
Okay.
so grownups, Admittedly, this isnot one of my favorite Adam
Sandler movies.
I was telling you.
it's not something that I'mlike, oh yeah, I love this.
But I do think there are someinteresting points to it with
the friendship of the five maincharacters the five comedians we
(04:14):
referred to, they all basicallyhave this, tie.
Like growing up together, itlooks like they were all on the
same basketball team and wonthis great championship when
they were 12 years old.
that's the first opening scene.
their coach is really importantin their lives.
taught them the value of, youplay until the buzzer of life,
strikes you, and was a greatmentor, stuck in their minds.
(04:34):
Was was just like one of thosemoments I think where they had
that childhood friendship, thatchildhood mentor, and it stuck
with them to the point wherethey're at modern day in the
movie when they are all grownup.
You see what they became andthey all learn about the death
of the coach.
Yeah.
coach Buzzer, was it?
Erin (04:51):
They called him buzzer
Tanya (04:51):
because he, we'll just call him coach buzzer, I guess.
Erin (04:53):
Alright, that works.
Tanya (04:54):
No, that sounds right.
at the crux of it, there's this.
Childhood moment, where you see,these friends that all care
about each other, they're allteammates.
They all have a good rapport.
They rib each other in that way.
But there's love behind that.
when they meet up again for thecoach's funeral.
we see the different charactersthey've become David Spade,
Chris Rock, Kevin James, RobSchneider, and Adam Sandler.
(05:18):
Mm-hmm.
but yeah, I think Lenny is,who's, Adam Sandler is kind of
the main person.
He, he's done like wildlysuccessful as an agent to the
stars He's really well off and.
You see that his kids are, arekind of, have really in an
opposite type of childhood than,than what he had.
he's disappointed by that.
Mm-hmm.
He's not super happy about that.
Like his kids have like abuilt-in nanny slash maid who
(05:40):
they're like, ah, you didn't getme like a diva chocolate.
And they don't go out and playlike, he and his friends
probably did.
Eighties, like the Gen Xchildhood versus now, whatever
Gen Z kind of thing, they'replaying video games.
They're inside.
They're used to getting whatthey need.
They travel a lot.
nothing is wanted for.
I'm not saying Gen Zs are likethat, I'm just saying this is
His family, his kids.
Lenny's kids.
And then you start to meet theother characters as well.
(06:04):
it seems like Lenny is a littlebit around these friends he
hasn't seen in 30 years.
he's trying to hide howprivileged he is and how his
kids are because he is a littleembarrassed, that he knows.
He's gotten far away from a lifethat they all had as kids, and
the fun they had, Kevin Jamesplays, Eric, and he's married to
(06:26):
Maria Bellow, who, I don't knowhow, why I know her name, but
she's been in some other things.
And, he is got two kids.
you know, he is kind of, he, he,he says he owns a lawn and
furniture company.
He's like playing off that.
He is all successful.
He pulls up in this, caddy,Really we learned later.
He was just trying to put up ashow.
He got laid off a few monthsbefore David Spade's, character
(06:46):
Higgins, he's like the ForeverBachelor, He's not with anyone.
Chris Rock plays Kurt, who'smarried and has, a couple kids
on the way he's kind of the stayat home husband.
Rob Schneider, just plays Rob.
He
Erin (06:58):
doesn't have another name.
We thought that was funny.
It's like, okay.
Rob.
Rob, you're Rob.
Tanya (07:04):
you can't be anything but Rob.
but he has this, apparently it'slike his fourth marriage or his
fourth, I don't know if they'remarried or not, but this woman
who's like, 30 years his senior.
he's very emotional very intouch with his feelings and very
sensitive and mm-hmm.
Just kind of doesn't seem to fitin with the whole, like, ribbing
of what they all have.
once they come together, theyall just start immediately
(07:24):
ragging on each other And yeah,there's like that whole dynamic
that they have comfort.
The
Erin (07:28):
comfort even though they, because it sounds like, you
know,'cause this game happened,like the big basketball game
happened, when they were inseventh grade, I assume they
were friends all through middleand high school, but it just
sounds like they are stuck inthis, Hey, haven't seen you in
40 years.
I don't know if they all movedaway right after that, or if
it's, you know, who knows?
Tanya (07:47):
I do have to say I feel like I have felt this way before
somewhat, because I do rememberin elementary school.
I think we were all just, Idon't know what it was.
It was a smaller school and Ifeel like we all kind of just
had this experience together ofbeing in that school.
(08:07):
We all knew each other at thattime.
Mm-hmm.
And I kind of feel like that'ssomething that does stay with
you.
But it's not maybe something Ifeel like I could meet up and be
like, oh my God.
And start up again now.
I don't know that I could.
I
Erin (08:19):
know With Facebook and stuff, I've had a lot of people
that I'm friends with frommiddle school, some went to
different high schools and I'mstill connected with, one or two
people.
But then you do like some of thepeople like you're in middle
school then you went to highschool with, it's a weird thing
because middle school it's sounique.
It's like three years oftorture.
But you do have this weird bondwith people that, okay, we
(08:40):
survived middle school together,we have this unique experience
Tanya (08:43):
I think you're really being tested as to who you are.
your identity is kind of beingformed.
I know it gets like really, youknow, kind of even more so in
high school.
But I think that's kind of the,the, the seed is planted, in
middle school.
it sticks with you, it soundslike in this movie, and
obviously we realize it's just amovie.
Right.
But I mean, maybe some people dohave friendships like this, but
it sounds like they would'vebeen more in touch and maybe
(09:05):
they were and we just didn'tknow it.
But that's not the impression.
Erin (09:07):
it almost sounds like We had fun in our basketball
seasons and then in the summer.
And then it just kind of like,you know, did they all just move
away or, you know, whathappened?
because even how you know, I'mskipping ahead, but when the
Colin Quinn character, in therestaurant sees Lenny and he is
like, oh, you gained someweight.
And he is like, yeah, since Iwas 12, I hope I have.
(09:27):
that's when I was thinking maybethey haven't seen each other
since they were 12.
Were they?
I don't know.
Tanya (09:31):
maybe these are just things for funny moments.
and they just kind of were like,eh, we're not gonna think about
that.
But yeah.
Don't we hope
Erin (09:36):
two people aren't gonna analyze this movie to death and.
Talk about it.
Yes.
Tanya (09:40):
And of course here we are.
I mean, you know, it stillstands up, for whatever reason
they kind of just had thismoment in time, this bond at
that point, this coach.
And so they're all comingtogether.
Lenny who's the, you know, AdamSandor's character rents out
this lake house that I guessthey used to, oh, well you know
what?
It does say that they used to goup there and get wasted.
So I.
That's what, David Spade'scharacter Higgins says at one
(10:01):
point.
So I guess maybe they did hangout in high school.
maybe they were kind of okay.
it just didn't really show thatmany moments.
Okay.
But maybe that's just kind of a.
A thing that they didn't really,it, it, maybe that would've been
better if they had showed that acouple, a couple of scenes from
that or something.
I don't know why we're analytics
Erin (10:16):
movie like this, but we need the timeline.
It bothers us.
Tanya (10:19):
So just like, we like the psychosocials and people like,
you know, gathering things andthe details.
It's like, no, we need to knowthat this happened or whatever.
Yeah, so it's kind of like, youknow, Lenny rents out this
really nice lake house for theweekend for everyone.
and his wife's, Sama Hayek is,you know, a big high-end fashion
designer.
And she's like, oh, we have toleave for my fashion show in
(10:41):
Milan tomorrow.
And he's like, oh yeah.
okay.
Yeah.
I'll have to tell the boys, butyou can tell he is like, oh, I
kind of wanted to stay here.
and they just start to kind ofcome together and they start to,
their antics are, are kind oflike bringing them back to the
side they miss instead of justbeing adults, like in the
beginning, Lenny is talking tosomeone and is like, I'll make
sure Brad Pitt isn't in yourmovie and he's just gotta deal
(11:02):
with all this like, stressors.
His kids are kind of.
Removed from having that,idyllic childhood.
Instead, they're ordering theirmate around and saying they want
Vos water and Fiji Walker
Erin (11:13):
stuff.
You know, can
Tanya (11:14):
I have
Erin (11:14):
tap?
Tanya (11:15):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's like, what?
From the host?
he's never heard of that.
Erin (11:20):
who do you think I am?
Tanya (11:21):
it's just kind of, I think it's about a return to
that nostalgia that Lenny isreally excited by.
he's like, oh, why don't youguys go outside and play he's
excited when, when he sees him,like one of his son with like a
rock and he is like, come on,just skip it, throw it, chuck it
at your brother.
See you
Erin (11:36):
picking it up or just anything playful.
Do something.
Tanya (11:38):
Yeah.
And then in the meantime, theguys are kind of, playing some,
they kind of rib each other.
there's these, hijinks they ragon Rob Schneider with his
grandma girlfriend.
And how he just seems to be anoddball.
And very sensitive, but theystill love him.
They still include him for that.
he ends up having two Quoteunquote hot daughters.
And then one that's like, notlike, kind of looks more like
(12:00):
'em.
They're like, oh yeah, that onemakes sense.
and I guess just kind of seeing,you know, it's kind of
disheartening to Lenny to seethe kids even Kurt's kids and
Eric's kids'cause they also havekids.
just kind of like they're allinside.
They're not really engaging inimaginative play or
outdoorsiness.
He's just really into, you know,it goes back to that time that
he really feels like, wow, whenwe were all together, that was
(12:22):
the best stuff ever.
even though he's like, got allthis money and he's, you know,
probably successful and knowsall these fa you know, famous
people and has houses and carshe wants that.
Yeah.
That's the thing that really isimportant he's seeing, which is,
Which is really telling, Ithink, you know, kind of saying
like, well, it's not, maybe it'snot, the best thing.
You know, maybe this is notsomething that, you know, as a
(12:45):
kid you kind of think, oh, Iwanna be rich.
I want to, you know, do this.
Mm-hmm.
But really the stuff you'redoing with your friends, the
bonds that you're creating, thememories you're creating,
that's, that's really the stuffthat, you know, kind of makes up
life.
I think that's the kind ofcentral theme in this.
as well as just comedy and, andthem making fun of each other
and stuff.
Yeah.
It's,
Erin (13:04):
like the friendships that the main guys have.
And then throughout the movieyou're watching the kids start
to have friendships too, atfirst it's just a bunch of kids
who are a little awkward orstrange you see them start
having friendships.
I was thinking of the KevinJames character's daughter,
she's so angry at first because,she's probably getting ignored
but you see throughout theprogression, she starts becoming
(13:25):
really good friends with Lenny'sson.
You see them holding hands atone point.
And they all are developinglittle friendships.
Tanya (13:32):
It's just nice because it seems like that's what's really
missing, from Lenny's point ofview they're just playing video
games.
they get whatever they want,Which is.
Kind of their fault as wellbecause they didn't have to
raise them like that.
they could have said,
Erin (13:45):
there needs to be a limit.
you can have video games, but itdoesn't mean you sit on the
couch or own the TV all day.
Tanya (13:52):
Or get a maid or a Nanny.
Yeah.
Erin (13:54):
She's there to take care of you or to help you.
That doesn't mean she's gonnamake your.
Hot cocoa with your Avachocolate,
Tanya (14:01):
And you know, I think there was, there was some
development and some of the,some of the characters too, even
with Kurt and, Chris Rock and,Maya Rudolph.
it kind of seems like Mayathinks at one point that, Chris
or Kurt, you know, well, ChrisRock is kind of hanging out with
the nanny because he learned howto speak Chinese, from the
cooking channel.
(14:22):
And she was a little, jealousHe's like, you know, tells her
Hey, you're the person I wannabe with and, I just wanna be
with my hot wife or whatever.
they reconnect and there's beensome distance between them, in
that regard.
plus, with him being a stay athome dad, it seems like he gets
knocked down a peg a few times.
there's kind of a little bit ofreconciliation in that, I guess.
(14:42):
Um, they appreciate each othermaybe.
it's not fully developed, butlike it's there.
Yeah.
Sort of.
Well, yeah, there's
Erin (14:48):
probably always the ha it seems like there's always like a
hazing between, you know, likethe mom and, Kurt's wife, Deanna
they're always hazing him forbeing a stay-at-home dad and
cooking badly or planning, okay,we know this meal is gonna
stink, so I already bought thepizza.
You know, not really realizinglike, Hey, maybe he was spending
all day trying to figure out howto make pumpkin, risotto or
(15:10):
whatever.
so hearing that all the time, itprobably does make it difficult.
'cause even how he said he islike, well, I'm talking to her
because I can actually have aconversation.
I'm not just being put down allthe time.
Tanya (15:19):
Right.
she'll actually kind of respectme and listen to me, and you
definitely kind of see some ofthat.
even with Rob Schneider's,girlfriends I'm thinking of the
car scene where she takes overand starts fixing the car they
turn around.
even with her, she's like, Ithink there's a lot of love
here.
she kind of points out all thatshe sees as a third party not
(15:40):
having grown up with them andbeing on the outside of this.
she is able to point out somethings about Rob that she finds
annoying and he had pointed outsome things about her.
they were able to put somethings out there, about each
other.
Erin (15:53):
he made it seem like, oh yeah, we talked and we forgave
each other And she's like, yeah,but that doesn't mean.
I don't think you're this orthat, Then once she said it,
everyone was shocked'cause sheseemed so sweet and older but
they're like, oh, she gets it.
She actually understands.
Tanya (16:09):
she's not missing that.
she's definitely picking thatup.
And so she maybe is more presentin this and maybe they are a
good fit for each other.
And even David Spade's characterwhen Rob thinks, he slept with
his daughter, the older one,he's like, you're my friend,
man.
I wouldn't do that.
And kind of saying I even havestandards, I think that was
probably a moment to be like,okay, he can be respected for
that, even though he's thisinveterate bachelor womanizer he
(16:32):
wouldn't do that.
So maybe we redeemed him a bitand then with Kevin James, him
saying like, I actually, gotlaid off and then Lenny offers
him this business deal.
it's this come to honesty aboutthemselves.
Erin (16:43):
Yeah.
It's like, well, and then alsoit gives, Lenny, Eric and Kurt,
the opportunity to work togetherand to, Hey, we're all gonna do
this together.
You know, figure out how to dothis, whatever it was, like car
rental business or whatever theywere doing.
Tanya (16:54):
And it kind of, brings them together.
I think it was kind of justshowing like, Hey, you know, I
think there's probably a naturalmaybe feeling of after you get
together with friends after, Idon't know, 30 or 40 years or
whatever it was with them, thatmaybe there could be a little
bit of.
Competitiveness a little bit oflike, oh, maybe I can't show
them this.
I have to show them just thebest of this.
(17:15):
Almost like if you go to areunion, maybe you kind of have
that feeling of, probably a lotof people do.
to be like, I wanna, feel reallysuccessful And feel like, I made
something of myself or reallyshow off these points that are
really important.
and social media too.
Let's face it.
it's kind of like they all saweach other's.
vulnerabilities.
even though they rub each other,it's done in love and they care
about each other.
(17:35):
And so I think it really doesshow from what the.
Grandmother, girlfriend, I can'tremember her name.
what she said, I really see thelove there.
I think that's what she waspointing to.
Like, you all actually reallycare about each other, even
though There's naturally gonnabe some competition or some
feelings of like, I have to putup a front or, you know, be more
successful than I actually am.
I think that was a nice.
Kind of feeling of like, okay,they actually really do have a
(17:58):
pretty good bond.
again, I think that maybe somepeople can maintain that and
maybe that could be the case.
I don't particularly relate tothat.
I do have some friends that arelong time friends.
It's not a group of people.
I think that might be rare, atleast from my point of view.
I don't know, maybe I'm wrongabout that.
Erin (18:16):
it probably is rare, especially if you've all moved
away thinking back to a group offriends, in middle school and
high school, we had a group, butthen kind of, it's hard to keep
that whole group'cause everyonemoves away and it's not like
everybody's going back.
To your town at the same timeeither.
So you're not really gonna havethat opportunity to all see each
other I know myself over thepast 30 or you know, whatever
(18:37):
years it's been since highschool, it's hard to have this
connection with everybody.
You know, I might have like oneor two I see.
Or talk to, so it's, probablydifficult and maybe it is
realistic for some, but it'shard.
Tanya (18:49):
I think it would be, and I don't know, maybe that
basketball game and just, whothey are as people really bonded
them and kept them close theyjust really had a love for each
other, the friendship,everything like that, that just
kind of kept them together Maybethe dynamics that all kind of
just work together.
But, yeah, it seems like theyreally were friends that wanted
(19:10):
to stay friends.
they, know each other'sfamilies.
know each other's kids and likeyou said, their kids were
starting to become friends theywere all able to confront things
that were not so easy in theirlives to.
talk about So that's, I find tobe really difficult with anyone.
Nevermind friends from 30 yearsago.
Erin (19:29):
Yeah.
Because they were all hidingthemselves too.
even like Lenny was trying topretend like he didn't have that
much money Eric is trying topretend like he had more money
than he had.
we don't really wanna show ourtrue selves.
But then all the layers startcoming off as you're stuck
together and you're living underthe same roof for a few days.
you do start showing who wereally are.
once they did, it's like, okay,how can we do this together?
(19:50):
How can we work together and,help each other out?
Tanya (19:52):
I think that's like a case of friendship that can
carry over and have.
Pause for decades and come backtogether.
And some people are just sodifferent at that point, or
maybe just have moved on orchanged so much that it wouldn't
work.
And then sometimes it just does.
I don't know.
It looks like it just did inthis instance.
And then it was interestingbecause they.
(20:13):
still engage in some of those,childhood hijinks where they're
at the waterpark and they'relike, oh, you gotta go.
We gotta be, you know, so andso, I can't think of his name.
the one that challenged him.
Erin (20:25):
Colin?
Colin Quinn.
Dickie was his name.
Tanya (20:28):
Dickie?
Yeah.
Like he's, he's so bitter.
he was on the team that lost inseventh grade and he still hangs
onto it it's really defined alot in his mind because he
probably stayed in the sametown.
he wants to challenge him inevery single way, even when
they're going on this zip linewater slide kind of thing in the
waterpark.
And he is like, oh, well myson's gonna go do this.
(20:50):
And then.
Son is like, all right, now Igotta, you know, I'm gonna do
this backwards.
And they're kind of competingagainst each other.
Erin (20:56):
He's like, I'm gonna do it.
we're gonna do it, with ourfeet.
Steve pushed out, he just
Tanya (21:00):
sticks to it.
he's like, I don't really wannado this.
or he's like, how come you kidsare?
He's like, I got kids.
So he goes, and then he justcrashes into the, the hot thing
or whatever, and then is like ina full body cast and like, yeah.
And so it's this competitionthat culminates in the end where
they're all at, the picnic.
Around the lake apparently a lotof townspeople or something.
And Dickie and, and his crew,which is Wiley, which is Steve
(21:24):
Buscemi in this full, full bodycast at that point.
And his, like other, I don'tknow, friends or whatever, that
they're like challenging him toa basketball game.
Lenny keeps trying to be like,seriously, let's just enjoy your
time.
he's kind of over it, you know?
He is just like, this isridiculous.
Erin (21:39):
Like, I'm hanging out with my family.
Yeah.
Don't really wanna have torelive seventh grade.
Yeah.
Tanya (21:44):
Yeah.
And like we're, you know, 30years older, so it's real
different and stuff, but, yeah,and I guess they kind of learned
like, oh, we're both exhausted.
We really can't do this.
And so they send in the nextgeneration Lenny ends up losing
intentionally because herealizes how much it means to
Dickie to have that win and thathe is kind of been maybe
carrying this loser chip on hisshoulder.
(22:06):
Mm-hmm.
You know, his whole life.
Because
Erin (22:07):
while the game is playing, he starts watching how the wife
is treating him and how, youknow, like how everybody kind of
treats him because he's.
You know, probably'cause he's soangry and also has this loser
mentality And I think Lenny isprobably like, okay, what would
happen if I, don't win?
And with this change dicky'sperception of life and how
(22:29):
people treat him.
It's like you see him startsmiling, you see his wife
cuddling to him.
You see like everyone's kind ofa little happier too.
Tanya (22:36):
He can finally let that go, that feeling, that narrative
that he lost and he's a loser.
And also he said maybe it's goodthat we lost because it's a
little bit of humility.
We don't always have to win.
and with all the things that, heand his kids have that's okay.
Erin (22:51):
his kids have this entitlement and it probably is
nice Show them most of theirchildhood.
Hey, it is okay you don't haveto win everything.
You're not gonna get everything.
try to teach them not to be sospoiled or self-centered.
Tanya (23:03):
And the son at the end is like, oh, it's okay.
I just need to work harder.
he picks up the lesson you can'twin everything just because you
want to, you gotta work hard,you gotta practice.
And he just
Erin (23:12):
learned how to play basketball like two days before,
Imagine the chip on hisshoulder, like if he did win, it
would've been like, oh, I'm thebest.
Tanya (23:18):
he wouldn't think twice about needing to practice and
would just, Think he could win,and if he didn't win, that would
be super devastating to his ego.
he'd just be carrying it aroundhis whole life.
Stay in the same small town.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
And kind of just focusing onthings that really don't, you
know, make you bitter, butreally don't need to.
I think Lenny was like, thatcycle needs to be broken for a
lot of reasons But yeah, I thinkthat's, that's the, maybe that's
(23:41):
the, the hint in the moviegrownups is that, you know, kind
of being able to get past someof those things, but also being
able to connect with, what it isthat you need.
that was really important inkids and being able to pass that
on.
so that's kind of a healthy,passing on of coping skills.
It's like the opposite of.
Intergenerational trauma.
He's trying to heal it.
(24:02):
he's working within it.
it's a good example of that.
he's trying to,
Erin (24:04):
and actually he's working on not only his unit, but he is
trying to, you know, he'shelping Dickie's family.
the trauma for that too.
Mm-hmm.
and maybe even Dickie's friends,Wiley and all those other people
too might be healed as well.
Tanya (24:17):
Yeah, yeah.
And so it's very impressive.
we don't often get movies wherewe're usually pointing out where
there is some sort of trauma,but it seems like that's kind of
a healing mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Or just kind of, patterns of,self-sabotage and understanding
that and being able to grow fromit, I guess.
yeah.
So it's, Like we said, grownupstwo is out.
(24:37):
it's been, it's been out for awhile.
I think the first one's, beenout since 2013.
The first one was 2010.
so these are older movies.
That's why we're just talkingabout'em freely.
Again, there's the spoilers.
You know, our deal,
Erin (24:48):
if it's a new show, we will say, spoiler, spoiler
spoilers.
But that's one we're hoping thatyou realize it's been out Over
10 years.
Tanya (24:55):
Yeah, for sure.
Erin (24:56):
the reason why we often talk about Adam Sandler is
because New England isrepresented.
I'm sure it was supposed to bein Massachusetts somewhere, but
he did give a shout out to RhodeIsland.
that stupid scene with the RhodeIsland state troopers was,
ridiculous.
because they don't have anythingelse to do.
Tanya (25:11):
Yeah.
I noticed.
I really liked that he waswearing a UMass shirt.
Mm-hmm.
And I, I have a few familymembers have gone to Umas rri.
Erin (25:17):
I was thinking it was for Rhode Island.
Tanya (25:19):
Yeah.
that's, pretty cool.
So you had a lot of New Englandhe brings in there.
Mm-hmm.
Which is great.
Lot of representation.
Yeah.
so here is the challengequestion or the, question that
we have at the end.
is there a moment in time thatyou would want to go back to, to
kind of, you know, maybe reliveor maybe Do differently in your
childhood that, involvedfriendships like this?
(25:42):
and I'm not saying you have toget too specific, just, you
know, is there something thatmaybe like a fight with a friend
or maybe a friendship repair?
Like do you have, a moment thatkind of sticks out in your mind?
Erin (25:51):
I would've probably figured out how to keep those
friendships from middle schoolto high school a little better,
because that's a hard mm-hmm.
You, because I did stay withfriends, but then, you know, we,
a lot of time, like I had one orone, one or two friends went to
different high schools, but thenthe ones that did, some of us
found new friend groups, or we'dstay in that same friend group
(26:12):
for a little bit, but thenshift, and find our way back to
each other.
It wouldn't be as deep all thetime because we would have like
different friend groups.
So maybe the people that I waslike really close in middle
school, even if we went intodifferent groups, if it would've
been a way to keep thatfriendship, not just surface
level.
Tanya (26:31):
Hmm.
That's a good, yeah.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
'cause that can be really toughto do, Looking back it's so
tough at that time.
I would have to say somethingsimilar.
I think maybe just the way Ihandled not being friends with
people or them breaking awayfrom me, you know, those types
of dynamics.
And again, I know this is likemiddle school kind of, you know,
high school type of stuff.
(26:51):
But maybe just in, being able tostick up for myself better, but
also being able to handle.
How I handled it, which I thinkwas piss poor, you know, at
points for sure.
I really, you know, lookingback, obviously wish I could
have done that differently.
Erin (27:05):
I wish I had self-esteem.
that's like a lot of myself-esteem was driven by how I
treated and was treated bypeople and super anxiety and no
self-esteem.
I wish I had self-esteem.
Throughout all of middle schooland high school.
I wish that would've showed up alittle bit.
Differently.
Tanya (27:21):
I wish I had some self-esteem.
Wish I knew what that even was.
'cause I remember hearing
Erin (27:25):
about it and just being like, Ugh.
my dad used to say you need tolove yourself before you can
love anyone else.
And I always be like, that'swhat a jerk.
Like, that's so, so that's soselfish.
But now as an adult, I'm like,oh.
I know what he meant, it's hardto understand when you can't
even.
Look at yourself in the mirrorwhen you're a little kid.
when you're younger you justhate everything about yourself.
Tanya (27:45):
a lot of people say those things, but they don't really
teach you how to do that if youdon't have healthy role
modeling.
How are you supposed to know howto do it?
I remember thinking like, how, Idon't know.
And then you're just like livingin the trenches.
Erin (27:55):
I can't even survive.
I understand that was probablyhis way of being like.
Let me help you, but I'm notgonna give you any tools,
Tanya (28:02):
Parents don't understand.
I think communication is reallykey.
understanding is probably, as oflate, you know, for parenting is
stressed more.
It just wasn't really for maybeour generation and our parents.
But yeah.
All right.
So, now we hope you enjoyed thisreturn to Adam.
We are so happy to have Erinback.
and to that she is healthy andlooking good.
(28:22):
we're gonna return next week.
with some more Adam and,probably stay on this route for
a while, don't forget to followus on all the socials.
We're even on YouTube.
If you wanna see our Yeah.
We have a few followers,
Erin (28:35):
so let's, get more.
Tanya (28:37):
Come on over.
We're, we're, or subscribers orwhatever they say, you
Erin (28:39):
know, I'm so old, you know.
Tanya (28:41):
I know what you meant.
But yeah, this was another goodone.
we will see you next week.
in the meantime, don't forget,stay wicked and keep your mind
well.
All right, everyone.
Have a great week.
Bye.
Bye guys.
You are listening to WickedPsychotherapists, a podcast
where two psychotherapists showyou that taking care of and
learning about mental healthdoesn't have to be wicked hat.
Tanya (00:31):
Hey guys, it's Tanya.
Hey,
Erin (00:32):
it's Erin and welcome to Wicked Psychotherapist.
Tanya (00:35):
So yeah, we've been off for a couple of weeks.
Erin, maybe you want to kind of,just, you know, let, let
everybody know listening.
what was going on.
Erin's decided to share a very.
private moment, to let peopleknow what's been going on.
So, Erin, do you wanna?
Erin (00:52):
Sure, yeah, I figure I figured I probably should share
because we post the videos andpeople would probably notice I
have a scar on my neck.
I had to have my thyroidremoved.
I found out that I had thyroidcancer, Because of my past
history of breast cancer,thankfully my doctors scan me
(01:13):
for everything all the time.
so thankfully it's been a goodrecovery but I wasn't sure how I
would be able to talk and stuff,so I told Tanya, let's take a
couple weeks off in case I don'thave a voice or it hurts to sit
up, I'm glad I did take the timeoff because.
I wasn't able to sit up or doanything for the first week.
It was kind of like my neck wastired after a couple, you know,
(01:36):
like a little bit.
But I am good.
Started seeing clients last weekafter I got clearance and yeah,
I'm back.
Glad to be back and glad to be.
Doing this today with you?
Tanya (01:47):
Yeah.
we're all glad to see youhealthy and well, and, happy
that, you had a good recoveryand that we can continue this.
But yeah, definitely happy thatit's, it's a, it was a good
outcome.
So, and we, know people arewishing you well on the
continued, recovery andeverything.
we needed, some time off so Erincould recuperate.
(02:08):
and glad that she did.
Um.
So, yeah.
So, and, and we thought it wouldbe nice to come back and start
with another Adam Sandler movie.
a few weeks back, we said, don'tworry, we're bread crumbing you
there.
And were back with another AdamSandler movie, grownups mm-hmm.
Which is right now on Netflix.
And is actually the first dayand the second one.
(02:29):
that's probably a hint for thefuture for us, but we're just
talking about the first grownupstoday.
so we thought this would be aninteresting one because, Adam
Sandler, but also there's a lotof other comedians and comedic
forces in there.
a lot of big names.
we got David Spade, Chris Rock,Rob Schneider, Kevin James, and
Salma Hayek, Yeah.
she's playing, Lenny's Wife,which is Adam Sandler's
(02:51):
character, and, Maya Rudolphmm-hmm.
Is, is in there.
SL Chris Walk, Rock's Wife.
I think his name is Kurt in themovie.
we just thought this would be areally cool, way to reintroduce
Adam.
So you'll probably be hearingsome more Adam stuff going on as
promised.
hopefully
Erin (03:09):
they,
Tanya (03:09):
Yeah.
Let us know if you want us tostory away, but I mean, that's
where we're headed.
we enjoy that.
it seems to let us
Erin (03:14):
bounce off of different things.
I mean like,'cause that's, andthat's kind of how our mind
works.
You'll see like, we will belike, okay, well we like this
person.
Then we'll start doing somethingelse.
And the nice thing about AdamSandler is his whole cast.
It's like, oh, let's do someDavid Spade, or let's do some
Steve Bi shimmy.
You know, like, let's try tofigure out different things.
So it's.
But then it kind of goes back,goes back to him anyway.
Tanya (03:35):
Always goes back to Adam.
he's the center in our love forthis all.
But yeah, no, definitely an airsign way.
We're both air signs.
you're Gemini.
I'm an Aquarius.
And that's definitely an airsign thing.
That's what we do.
We kind of bounce around, butthere's a method to our madness,
I guess.
Hopefully you guys get it.
Erin (03:49):
If you're listening, you'll hopefully like it,
Tanya (03:51):
it doesn't, but it does to us.
hopefully to you, In some way itmakes sense.
Okay.
so grownups, Admittedly, this isnot one of my favorite Adam
Sandler movies.
I was telling you.
it's not something that I'mlike, oh yeah, I love this.
But I do think there are someinteresting points to it with
the friendship of the five maincharacters the five comedians we
(04:14):
referred to, they all basicallyhave this, tie.
Like growing up together, itlooks like they were all on the
same basketball team and wonthis great championship when
they were 12 years old.
that's the first opening scene.
their coach is really importantin their lives.
taught them the value of, youplay until the buzzer of life,
strikes you, and was a greatmentor, stuck in their minds.
(04:34):
Was was just like one of thosemoments I think where they had
that childhood friendship, thatchildhood mentor, and it stuck
with them to the point wherethey're at modern day in the
movie when they are all grownup.
You see what they became andthey all learn about the death
of the coach.
Yeah.
coach Buzzer, was it?
Erin (04:51):
They called him buzzer
Tanya (04:51):
because he, we'll just call him coach buzzer, I guess.
Erin (04:53):
Alright, that works.
Tanya (04:54):
No, that sounds right.
at the crux of it, there's this.
Childhood moment, where you see,these friends that all care
about each other, they're allteammates.
They all have a good rapport.
They rib each other in that way.
But there's love behind that.
when they meet up again for thecoach's funeral.
we see the different charactersthey've become David Spade,
Chris Rock, Kevin James, RobSchneider, and Adam Sandler.
(05:18):
Mm-hmm.
but yeah, I think Lenny is,who's, Adam Sandler is kind of
the main person.
He, he's done like wildlysuccessful as an agent to the
stars He's really well off and.
You see that his kids are, arekind of, have really in an
opposite type of childhood than,than what he had.
he's disappointed by that.
Mm-hmm.
He's not super happy about that.
Like his kids have like abuilt-in nanny slash maid who
(05:40):
they're like, ah, you didn't getme like a diva chocolate.
And they don't go out and playlike, he and his friends
probably did.
Eighties, like the Gen Xchildhood versus now, whatever
Gen Z kind of thing, they'replaying video games.
They're inside.
They're used to getting whatthey need.
They travel a lot.
nothing is wanted for.
I'm not saying Gen Zs are likethat, I'm just saying this is
His family, his kids.
Lenny's kids.
And then you start to meet theother characters as well.
(06:04):
it seems like Lenny is a littlebit around these friends he
hasn't seen in 30 years.
he's trying to hide howprivileged he is and how his
kids are because he is a littleembarrassed, that he knows.
He's gotten far away from a lifethat they all had as kids, and
the fun they had, Kevin Jamesplays, Eric, and he's married to
(06:26):
Maria Bellow, who, I don't knowhow, why I know her name, but
she's been in some other things.
And, he is got two kids.
you know, he is kind of, he, he,he says he owns a lawn and
furniture company.
He's like playing off that.
He is all successful.
He pulls up in this, caddy,Really we learned later.
He was just trying to put up ashow.
He got laid off a few monthsbefore David Spade's, character
(06:46):
Higgins, he's like the ForeverBachelor, He's not with anyone.
Chris Rock plays Kurt, who'smarried and has, a couple kids
on the way he's kind of the stayat home husband.
Rob Schneider, just plays Rob.
He
Erin (06:58):
doesn't have another name.
We thought that was funny.
It's like, okay.
Rob.
Rob, you're Rob.
Tanya (07:04):
you can't be anything but Rob.
but he has this, apparently it'slike his fourth marriage or his
fourth, I don't know if they'remarried or not, but this woman
who's like, 30 years his senior.
he's very emotional very intouch with his feelings and very
sensitive and mm-hmm.
Just kind of doesn't seem to fitin with the whole, like, ribbing
of what they all have.
once they come together, theyall just start immediately
(07:24):
ragging on each other And yeah,there's like that whole dynamic
that they have comfort.
The
Erin (07:28):
comfort even though they, because it sounds like, you
know,'cause this game happened,like the big basketball game
happened, when they were inseventh grade, I assume they
were friends all through middleand high school, but it just
sounds like they are stuck inthis, Hey, haven't seen you in
40 years.
I don't know if they all movedaway right after that, or if
it's, you know, who knows?
Tanya (07:47):
I do have to say I feel like I have felt this way before
somewhat, because I do rememberin elementary school.
I think we were all just, Idon't know what it was.
It was a smaller school and Ifeel like we all kind of just
had this experience together ofbeing in that school.
(08:07):
We all knew each other at thattime.
Mm-hmm.
And I kind of feel like that'ssomething that does stay with
you.
But it's not maybe something Ifeel like I could meet up and be
like, oh my God.
And start up again now.
I don't know that I could.
I
Erin (08:19):
know With Facebook and stuff, I've had a lot of people
that I'm friends with frommiddle school, some went to
different high schools and I'mstill connected with, one or two
people.
But then you do like some of thepeople like you're in middle
school then you went to highschool with, it's a weird thing
because middle school it's sounique.
It's like three years oftorture.
But you do have this weird bondwith people that, okay, we
(08:40):
survived middle school together,we have this unique experience
Tanya (08:43):
I think you're really being tested as to who you are.
your identity is kind of beingformed.
I know it gets like really, youknow, kind of even more so in
high school.
But I think that's kind of the,the, the seed is planted, in
middle school.
it sticks with you, it soundslike in this movie, and
obviously we realize it's just amovie.
Right.
But I mean, maybe some people dohave friendships like this, but
it sounds like they would'vebeen more in touch and maybe
(09:05):
they were and we just didn'tknow it.
But that's not the impression.
Erin (09:07):
it almost sounds like We had fun in our basketball
seasons and then in the summer.
And then it just kind of like,you know, did they all just move
away or, you know, whathappened?
because even how you know, I'mskipping ahead, but when the
Colin Quinn character, in therestaurant sees Lenny and he is
like, oh, you gained someweight.
And he is like, yeah, since Iwas 12, I hope I have.
(09:27):
that's when I was thinking maybethey haven't seen each other
since they were 12.
Were they?
I don't know.
Tanya (09:31):
maybe these are just things for funny moments.
and they just kind of were like,eh, we're not gonna think about
that.
But yeah.
Don't we hope
Erin (09:36):
two people aren't gonna analyze this movie to death and.
Talk about it.
Yes.
Tanya (09:40):
And of course here we are.
I mean, you know, it stillstands up, for whatever reason
they kind of just had thismoment in time, this bond at
that point, this coach.
And so they're all comingtogether.
Lenny who's the, you know, AdamSandor's character rents out
this lake house that I guessthey used to, oh, well you know
what?
It does say that they used to goup there and get wasted.
So I.
That's what, David Spade'scharacter Higgins says at one
(10:01):
point.
So I guess maybe they did hangout in high school.
maybe they were kind of okay.
it just didn't really show thatmany moments.
Okay.
But maybe that's just kind of a.
A thing that they didn't really,it, it, maybe that would've been
better if they had showed that acouple, a couple of scenes from
that or something.
I don't know why we're analytics
Erin (10:16):
movie like this, but we need the timeline.
It bothers us.
Tanya (10:19):
So just like, we like the psychosocials and people like,
you know, gathering things andthe details.
It's like, no, we need to knowthat this happened or whatever.
Yeah, so it's kind of like, youknow, Lenny rents out this
really nice lake house for theweekend for everyone.
and his wife's, Sama Hayek is,you know, a big high-end fashion
designer.
And she's like, oh, we have toleave for my fashion show in
(10:41):
Milan tomorrow.
And he's like, oh yeah.
okay.
Yeah.
I'll have to tell the boys, butyou can tell he is like, oh, I
kind of wanted to stay here.
and they just start to kind ofcome together and they start to,
their antics are, are kind oflike bringing them back to the
side they miss instead of justbeing adults, like in the
beginning, Lenny is talking tosomeone and is like, I'll make
sure Brad Pitt isn't in yourmovie and he's just gotta deal
(11:02):
with all this like, stressors.
His kids are kind of.
Removed from having that,idyllic childhood.
Instead, they're ordering theirmate around and saying they want
Vos water and Fiji Walker
Erin (11:13):
stuff.
You know, can
Tanya (11:14):
I have
Erin (11:14):
tap?
Tanya (11:15):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's like, what?
From the host?
he's never heard of that.
Erin (11:20):
who do you think I am?
Tanya (11:21):
it's just kind of, I think it's about a return to
that nostalgia that Lenny isreally excited by.
he's like, oh, why don't youguys go outside and play he's
excited when, when he sees him,like one of his son with like a
rock and he is like, come on,just skip it, throw it, chuck it
at your brother.
See you
Erin (11:36):
picking it up or just anything playful.
Do something.
Tanya (11:38):
Yeah.
And then in the meantime, theguys are kind of, playing some,
they kind of rib each other.
there's these, hijinks they ragon Rob Schneider with his
grandma girlfriend.
And how he just seems to be anoddball.
And very sensitive, but theystill love him.
They still include him for that.
he ends up having two Quoteunquote hot daughters.
And then one that's like, notlike, kind of looks more like
(12:00):
'em.
They're like, oh yeah, that onemakes sense.
and I guess just kind of seeing,you know, it's kind of
disheartening to Lenny to seethe kids even Kurt's kids and
Eric's kids'cause they also havekids.
just kind of like they're allinside.
They're not really engaging inimaginative play or
outdoorsiness.
He's just really into, you know,it goes back to that time that
he really feels like, wow, whenwe were all together, that was
(12:22):
the best stuff ever.
even though he's like, got allthis money and he's, you know,
probably successful and knowsall these fa you know, famous
people and has houses and carshe wants that.
Yeah.
That's the thing that really isimportant he's seeing, which is,
Which is really telling, Ithink, you know, kind of saying
like, well, it's not, maybe it'snot, the best thing.
You know, maybe this is notsomething that, you know, as a
(12:45):
kid you kind of think, oh, Iwanna be rich.
I want to, you know, do this.
Mm-hmm.
But really the stuff you'redoing with your friends, the
bonds that you're creating, thememories you're creating,
that's, that's really the stuffthat, you know, kind of makes up
life.
I think that's the kind ofcentral theme in this.
as well as just comedy and, andthem making fun of each other
and stuff.
Yeah.
It's,
Erin (13:04):
like the friendships that the main guys have.
And then throughout the movieyou're watching the kids start
to have friendships too, atfirst it's just a bunch of kids
who are a little awkward orstrange you see them start
having friendships.
I was thinking of the KevinJames character's daughter,
she's so angry at first because,she's probably getting ignored
but you see throughout theprogression, she starts becoming
(13:25):
really good friends with Lenny'sson.
You see them holding hands atone point.
And they all are developinglittle friendships.
Tanya (13:32):
It's just nice because it seems like that's what's really
missing, from Lenny's point ofview they're just playing video
games.
they get whatever they want,Which is.
Kind of their fault as wellbecause they didn't have to
raise them like that.
they could have said,
Erin (13:45):
there needs to be a limit.
you can have video games, but itdoesn't mean you sit on the
couch or own the TV all day.
Tanya (13:52):
Or get a maid or a Nanny.
Yeah.
Erin (13:54):
She's there to take care of you or to help you.
That doesn't mean she's gonnamake your.
Hot cocoa with your Avachocolate,
Tanya (14:01):
And you know, I think there was, there was some
development and some of the,some of the characters too, even
with Kurt and, Chris Rock and,Maya Rudolph.
it kind of seems like Mayathinks at one point that, Chris
or Kurt, you know, well, ChrisRock is kind of hanging out with
the nanny because he learned howto speak Chinese, from the
cooking channel.
(14:22):
And she was a little, jealousHe's like, you know, tells her
Hey, you're the person I wannabe with and, I just wanna be
with my hot wife or whatever.
they reconnect and there's beensome distance between them, in
that regard.
plus, with him being a stay athome dad, it seems like he gets
knocked down a peg a few times.
there's kind of a little bit ofreconciliation in that, I guess.
(14:42):
Um, they appreciate each othermaybe.
it's not fully developed, butlike it's there.
Yeah.
Sort of.
Well, yeah, there's
Erin (14:48):
probably always the ha it seems like there's always like a
hazing between, you know, likethe mom and, Kurt's wife, Deanna
they're always hazing him forbeing a stay-at-home dad and
cooking badly or planning, okay,we know this meal is gonna
stink, so I already bought thepizza.
You know, not really realizinglike, Hey, maybe he was spending
all day trying to figure out howto make pumpkin, risotto or
(15:10):
whatever.
so hearing that all the time, itprobably does make it difficult.
'cause even how he said he islike, well, I'm talking to her
because I can actually have aconversation.
I'm not just being put down allthe time.
Tanya (15:19):
Right.
she'll actually kind of respectme and listen to me, and you
definitely kind of see some ofthat.
even with Rob Schneider's,girlfriends I'm thinking of the
car scene where she takes overand starts fixing the car they
turn around.
even with her, she's like, Ithink there's a lot of love
here.
she kind of points out all thatshe sees as a third party not
(15:40):
having grown up with them andbeing on the outside of this.
she is able to point out somethings about Rob that she finds
annoying and he had pointed outsome things about her.
they were able to put somethings out there, about each
other.
Erin (15:53):
he made it seem like, oh yeah, we talked and we forgave
each other And she's like, yeah,but that doesn't mean.
I don't think you're this orthat, Then once she said it,
everyone was shocked'cause sheseemed so sweet and older but
they're like, oh, she gets it.
She actually understands.
Tanya (16:09):
she's not missing that.
she's definitely picking thatup.
And so she maybe is more presentin this and maybe they are a
good fit for each other.
And even David Spade's characterwhen Rob thinks, he slept with
his daughter, the older one,he's like, you're my friend,
man.
I wouldn't do that.
And kind of saying I even havestandards, I think that was
probably a moment to be like,okay, he can be respected for
that, even though he's thisinveterate bachelor womanizer he
(16:32):
wouldn't do that.
So maybe we redeemed him a bitand then with Kevin James, him
saying like, I actually, gotlaid off and then Lenny offers
him this business deal.
it's this come to honesty aboutthemselves.
Erin (16:43):
Yeah.
It's like, well, and then alsoit gives, Lenny, Eric and Kurt,
the opportunity to work togetherand to, Hey, we're all gonna do
this together.
You know, figure out how to dothis, whatever it was, like car
rental business or whatever theywere doing.
Tanya (16:54):
And it kind of, brings them together.
I think it was kind of justshowing like, Hey, you know, I
think there's probably a naturalmaybe feeling of after you get
together with friends after, Idon't know, 30 or 40 years or
whatever it was with them, thatmaybe there could be a little
bit of.
Competitiveness a little bit oflike, oh, maybe I can't show
them this.
I have to show them just thebest of this.
(17:15):
Almost like if you go to areunion, maybe you kind of have
that feeling of, probably a lotof people do.
to be like, I wanna, feel reallysuccessful And feel like, I made
something of myself or reallyshow off these points that are
really important.
and social media too.
Let's face it.
it's kind of like they all saweach other's.
vulnerabilities.
even though they rub each other,it's done in love and they care
about each other.
(17:35):
And so I think it really doesshow from what the.
Grandmother, girlfriend, I can'tremember her name.
what she said, I really see thelove there.
I think that's what she waspointing to.
Like, you all actually reallycare about each other, even
though There's naturally gonnabe some competition or some
feelings of like, I have to putup a front or, you know, be more
successful than I actually am.
I think that was a nice.
Kind of feeling of like, okay,they actually really do have a
(17:58):
pretty good bond.
again, I think that maybe somepeople can maintain that and
maybe that could be the case.
I don't particularly relate tothat.
I do have some friends that arelong time friends.
It's not a group of people.
I think that might be rare, atleast from my point of view.
I don't know, maybe I'm wrongabout that.
Erin (18:16):
it probably is rare, especially if you've all moved
away thinking back to a group offriends, in middle school and
high school, we had a group, butthen kind of, it's hard to keep
that whole group'cause everyonemoves away and it's not like
everybody's going back.
To your town at the same timeeither.
So you're not really gonna havethat opportunity to all see each
other I know myself over thepast 30 or you know, whatever
(18:37):
years it's been since highschool, it's hard to have this
connection with everybody.
You know, I might have like oneor two I see.
Or talk to, so it's, probablydifficult and maybe it is
realistic for some, but it'shard.
Tanya (18:49):
I think it would be, and I don't know, maybe that
basketball game and just, whothey are as people really bonded
them and kept them close theyjust really had a love for each
other, the friendship,everything like that, that just
kind of kept them together Maybethe dynamics that all kind of
just work together.
But, yeah, it seems like theyreally were friends that wanted
(19:10):
to stay friends.
they, know each other'sfamilies.
know each other's kids and likeyou said, their kids were
starting to become friends theywere all able to confront things
that were not so easy in theirlives to.
talk about So that's, I find tobe really difficult with anyone.
Nevermind friends from 30 yearsago.
Erin (19:29):
Yeah.
Because they were all hidingthemselves too.
even like Lenny was trying topretend like he didn't have that
much money Eric is trying topretend like he had more money
than he had.
we don't really wanna show ourtrue selves.
But then all the layers startcoming off as you're stuck
together and you're living underthe same roof for a few days.
you do start showing who wereally are.
once they did, it's like, okay,how can we do this together?
(19:50):
How can we work together and,help each other out?
Tanya (19:52):
I think that's like a case of friendship that can
carry over and have.
Pause for decades and come backtogether.
And some people are just sodifferent at that point, or
maybe just have moved on orchanged so much that it wouldn't
work.
And then sometimes it just does.
I don't know.
It looks like it just did inthis instance.
And then it was interestingbecause they.
(20:13):
still engage in some of those,childhood hijinks where they're
at the waterpark and they'relike, oh, you gotta go.
We gotta be, you know, so andso, I can't think of his name.
the one that challenged him.
Erin (20:25):
Colin?
Colin Quinn.
Dickie was his name.
Tanya (20:28):
Dickie?
Yeah.
Like he's, he's so bitter.
he was on the team that lost inseventh grade and he still hangs
onto it it's really defined alot in his mind because he
probably stayed in the sametown.
he wants to challenge him inevery single way, even when
they're going on this zip linewater slide kind of thing in the
waterpark.
And he is like, oh, well myson's gonna go do this.
(20:50):
And then.
Son is like, all right, now Igotta, you know, I'm gonna do
this backwards.
And they're kind of competingagainst each other.
Erin (20:56):
He's like, I'm gonna do it.
we're gonna do it, with ourfeet.
Steve pushed out, he just
Tanya (21:00):
sticks to it.
he's like, I don't really wannado this.
or he's like, how come you kidsare?
He's like, I got kids.
So he goes, and then he justcrashes into the, the hot thing
or whatever, and then is like ina full body cast and like, yeah.
And so it's this competitionthat culminates in the end where
they're all at, the picnic.
Around the lake apparently a lotof townspeople or something.
And Dickie and, and his crew,which is Wiley, which is Steve
(21:24):
Buscemi in this full, full bodycast at that point.
And his, like other, I don'tknow, friends or whatever, that
they're like challenging him toa basketball game.
Lenny keeps trying to be like,seriously, let's just enjoy your
time.
he's kind of over it, you know?
He is just like, this isridiculous.
Erin (21:39):
Like, I'm hanging out with my family.
Yeah.
Don't really wanna have torelive seventh grade.
Yeah.
Tanya (21:44):
Yeah.
And like we're, you know, 30years older, so it's real
different and stuff, but, yeah,and I guess they kind of learned
like, oh, we're both exhausted.
We really can't do this.
And so they send in the nextgeneration Lenny ends up losing
intentionally because herealizes how much it means to
Dickie to have that win and thathe is kind of been maybe
carrying this loser chip on hisshoulder.
(22:06):
Mm-hmm.
You know, his whole life.
Because
Erin (22:07):
while the game is playing, he starts watching how the wife
is treating him and how, youknow, like how everybody kind of
treats him because he's.
You know, probably'cause he's soangry and also has this loser
mentality And I think Lenny isprobably like, okay, what would
happen if I, don't win?
And with this change dicky'sperception of life and how
(22:29):
people treat him.
It's like you see him startsmiling, you see his wife
cuddling to him.
You see like everyone's kind ofa little happier too.
Tanya (22:36):
He can finally let that go, that feeling, that narrative
that he lost and he's a loser.
And also he said maybe it's goodthat we lost because it's a
little bit of humility.
We don't always have to win.
and with all the things that, heand his kids have that's okay.
Erin (22:51):
his kids have this entitlement and it probably is
nice Show them most of theirchildhood.
Hey, it is okay you don't haveto win everything.
You're not gonna get everything.
try to teach them not to be sospoiled or self-centered.
Tanya (23:03):
And the son at the end is like, oh, it's okay.
I just need to work harder.
he picks up the lesson you can'twin everything just because you
want to, you gotta work hard,you gotta practice.
And he just
Erin (23:12):
learned how to play basketball like two days before,
Imagine the chip on hisshoulder, like if he did win, it
would've been like, oh, I'm thebest.
Tanya (23:18):
he wouldn't think twice about needing to practice and
would just, Think he could win,and if he didn't win, that would
be super devastating to his ego.
he'd just be carrying it aroundhis whole life.
Stay in the same small town.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
And kind of just focusing onthings that really don't, you
know, make you bitter, butreally don't need to.
I think Lenny was like, thatcycle needs to be broken for a
lot of reasons But yeah, I thinkthat's, that's the, maybe that's
(23:41):
the, the hint in the moviegrownups is that, you know, kind
of being able to get past someof those things, but also being
able to connect with, what it isthat you need.
that was really important inkids and being able to pass that
on.
so that's kind of a healthy,passing on of coping skills.
It's like the opposite of.
Intergenerational trauma.
He's trying to heal it.
(24:02):
he's working within it.
it's a good example of that.
he's trying to,
Erin (24:04):
and actually he's working on not only his unit, but he is
trying to, you know, he'shelping Dickie's family.
the trauma for that too.
Mm-hmm.
and maybe even Dickie's friends,Wiley and all those other people
too might be healed as well.
Tanya (24:17):
Yeah, yeah.
And so it's very impressive.
we don't often get movies wherewe're usually pointing out where
there is some sort of trauma,but it seems like that's kind of
a healing mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Or just kind of, patterns of,self-sabotage and understanding
that and being able to grow fromit, I guess.
yeah.
So it's, Like we said, grownupstwo is out.
(24:37):
it's been, it's been out for awhile.
I think the first one's, beenout since 2013.
The first one was 2010.
so these are older movies.
That's why we're just talkingabout'em freely.
Again, there's the spoilers.
You know, our deal,
Erin (24:48):
if it's a new show, we will say, spoiler, spoiler
spoilers.
But that's one we're hoping thatyou realize it's been out Over
10 years.
Tanya (24:55):
Yeah, for sure.
Erin (24:56):
the reason why we often talk about Adam Sandler is
because New England isrepresented.
I'm sure it was supposed to bein Massachusetts somewhere, but
he did give a shout out to RhodeIsland.
that stupid scene with the RhodeIsland state troopers was,
ridiculous.
because they don't have anythingelse to do.
Tanya (25:11):
Yeah.
I noticed.
I really liked that he waswearing a UMass shirt.
Mm-hmm.
And I, I have a few familymembers have gone to Umas rri.
Erin (25:17):
I was thinking it was for Rhode Island.
Tanya (25:19):
Yeah.
that's, pretty cool.
So you had a lot of New Englandhe brings in there.
Mm-hmm.
Which is great.
Lot of representation.
Yeah.
so here is the challengequestion or the, question that
we have at the end.
is there a moment in time thatyou would want to go back to, to
kind of, you know, maybe reliveor maybe Do differently in your
childhood that, involvedfriendships like this?
(25:42):
and I'm not saying you have toget too specific, just, you
know, is there something thatmaybe like a fight with a friend
or maybe a friendship repair?
Like do you have, a moment thatkind of sticks out in your mind?
Erin (25:51):
I would've probably figured out how to keep those
friendships from middle schoolto high school a little better,
because that's a hard mm-hmm.
You, because I did stay withfriends, but then, you know, we,
a lot of time, like I had one orone, one or two friends went to
different high schools, but thenthe ones that did, some of us
found new friend groups, or we'dstay in that same friend group
(26:12):
for a little bit, but thenshift, and find our way back to
each other.
It wouldn't be as deep all thetime because we would have like
different friend groups.
So maybe the people that I waslike really close in middle
school, even if we went intodifferent groups, if it would've
been a way to keep thatfriendship, not just surface
level.
Tanya (26:31):
Hmm.
That's a good, yeah.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
'cause that can be really toughto do, Looking back it's so
tough at that time.
I would have to say somethingsimilar.
I think maybe just the way Ihandled not being friends with
people or them breaking awayfrom me, you know, those types
of dynamics.
And again, I know this is likemiddle school kind of, you know,
high school type of stuff.
(26:51):
But maybe just in, being able tostick up for myself better, but
also being able to handle.
How I handled it, which I thinkwas piss poor, you know, at
points for sure.
I really, you know, lookingback, obviously wish I could
have done that differently.
Erin (27:05):
I wish I had self-esteem.
that's like a lot of myself-esteem was driven by how I
treated and was treated bypeople and super anxiety and no
self-esteem.
I wish I had self-esteem.
Throughout all of middle schooland high school.
I wish that would've showed up alittle bit.
Differently.
Tanya (27:21):
I wish I had some self-esteem.
Wish I knew what that even was.
'cause I remember hearing
Erin (27:25):
about it and just being like, Ugh.
my dad used to say you need tolove yourself before you can
love anyone else.
And I always be like, that'swhat a jerk.
Like, that's so, so that's soselfish.
But now as an adult, I'm like,oh.
I know what he meant, it's hardto understand when you can't
even.
Look at yourself in the mirrorwhen you're a little kid.
when you're younger you justhate everything about yourself.
Tanya (27:45):
a lot of people say those things, but they don't really
teach you how to do that if youdon't have healthy role
modeling.
How are you supposed to know howto do it?
I remember thinking like, how, Idon't know.
And then you're just like livingin the trenches.
Erin (27:55):
I can't even survive.
I understand that was probablyhis way of being like.
Let me help you, but I'm notgonna give you any tools,
Tanya (28:02):
Parents don't understand.
I think communication is reallykey.
understanding is probably, as oflate, you know, for parenting is
stressed more.
It just wasn't really for maybeour generation and our parents.
But yeah.
All right.
So, now we hope you enjoyed thisreturn to Adam.
We are so happy to have Erinback.
and to that she is healthy andlooking good.
(28:22):
we're gonna return next week.
with some more Adam and,probably stay on this route for
a while, don't forget to followus on all the socials.
We're even on YouTube.
If you wanna see our Yeah.
We have a few followers,
Erin (28:35):
so let's, get more.
Tanya (28:37):
Come on over.
We're, we're, or subscribers orwhatever they say, you
Erin (28:39):
know, I'm so old, you know.
Tanya (28:41):
I know what you meant.
But yeah, this was another goodone.
we will see you next week.
in the meantime, don't forget,stay wicked and keep your mind
well.
All right, everyone.
Have a great week.
Bye.
Bye guys.
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