July 2, 2025 • 26 mins
Send us a Text Message we would love to hear what you thought of the show.
This week on Wicked Psychotherapists, Gen X psychotherapist Erin and her “Xennial” co-host Tanya (that sweet spot between Gen X and Millennial) dig into the hilarious emotional chaos of Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers. Think: lie detectors, lost cats, ninth-place trophies — and a whole lot of family dysfunction.
Why do people-pleasers like Greg fall apart around controlling dads? How does being raised with too much or not enoughstructure shape anxiety, identity, and our adult relationships?
Erin and Tanya bring personal stories, therapist insights, and generational wisdom to this deep-yet-fun look at parenting styles, emotional boundaries, and surviving awkward family dynamics.
🎧 Whether you’re Gen X, Xennial, Millennial, or just someone who’s ever dreaded meeting the in-laws — you’ll relate.
Connect with us!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wickedpsychotherapists/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Wickedpodcasts/
Linktre.ee : https://linktr.ee/thewickedpsychotherapists
Website : https://www.wickedpsychotherapists.com
Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/@Wickedpsychotherapists
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
You are listening to WickedPsychotherapists, a podcast
where two psychotherapists showyou that taking care of and
learning about mental healthdoesn't have to be wicked
Tanya (00:10):
Hey it's Tanya.
Erin (00:11):
Hi, it's Erin and welcome to Wicked Psychotherapists.
So this week we are,
Tanya (00:17):
we're veering off track from the Adam Sandler, ride, I
guess.
we're.
going towards a few others.
this is just a detour, but weare going to be talking about, a
sequel of movies popular in theearly two thousands.
meet the parents, meet the Fs.
Thought this would have someinteresting family dynamics and
(00:37):
themes to talk about.
Erin (00:39):
these are just pretty good movies.
Pretty funny.
I did
Tanya (00:41):
I've seen meet the Fs quite a few times too, but I did
not, I kind of just went throughsome clips.
So, I'm trying to maybe yeahhave to kind of think of
Erin (00:50):
I think that's why we decided to combine before,
because so often, when you thinkof one of the movies, you think
of the other.
And it just kind of meshestogether so this way we can talk
about both parents andeverything and it's just makes
it a little bit more, you know,congruent
Tanya (01:10):
we start out, we meet one of the main characters, Greg Ben
Stiller, whose full name isGaylord, which does not help him
in the situations he gets in.
he's a nurse or a male nurse.
As, people keep referring to himas, but he is wanting to propose
to his girlfriend gonna go meet.
Comes to realize that her dad isa special type of character, I
(01:35):
guess.
he's very controlling, verysuspicious.
Kind of trying to interrogatehim from the start.
Greg is just trying to pleasehim.
he is very anxious.
Very eager to please around,Jack Pam's father.
the family's preparing for,Pam's sister's wedding.
Greg is invited to that.
So there's a lot of kind oftensions and, you know, things
(01:58):
that are needing to be planned.
A lot of family events.
And, Jack kind of is talkingabout.
Well, you know, to be in thefamily, you have to everything
stays in the family circle.
once you're in, you can't goout.
It's very much like, like, youknow, us against the world in my
family.
Yeah.
he's a control freak for sure.
He's got some control issues.
(02:20):
but yeah.
What was your impression of thedad who's played by
Erin (02:23):
Probably as somebody coming into the family, like
anyone who's first gone intomeeting your significant other's
family member, you're veryintimidated.
So he really wanted to put thatlike, all right, I'm gonna put
it on the Upteam degree andBelittle your profession and
just really make Greg questionhimself and feel probably even
(02:47):
more anxious.
It was probably veryintimidating having your
girlfriend's father firstmeeting his, it just was not a
good experience.
Yeah, he was putting him throughthe ringer for sure.
Tanya (02:57):
He was really trying to, Make him put him down
Erin (03:00):
would
Tanya (03:00):
call him a hassle.
Because he kept callingdirectly, you know, like the
male
Erin (03:03):
nurse me and you know, just, yeah, no, it definitely
didn't respect his profession.
Didn't really want him.
You know, dating his daughter,it's just really wasn't a good
thing.
No one was good enough for hisPam.
You can tell Pam
Tanya (03:17):
was his kind of golden child and, not to mention the
bar is set and possibly high andhere's.
Greg seemingly just a very nicecaring guy, but he's an anxious
guy and he makes mistakes andthat's just not acceptable to
Jack.
And also when he's,
Erin (03:35):
have you ever had experience hearing him between
past boyfriends and everythingtoo?
It's, really difficult.
Oh yeah.
The past fiance, that's like
Tanya (03:44):
utterly perfect.
And he's very much just makinghim feel insecure and it's
working because Greg does nothave a high level of
self-confidence.
Feel like he needs to beaccepted and he just is noticing
that this guy's giving him thethird degree constantly.
so he is just trying to passevery test, which is really
funny.
(04:05):
But at the same point, you feelfor the guy.
but yeah, I was wondering, haveyou ever had an experience where
you had to meet, parents orfriends' parents who were just
really intimidating?
Well,
Erin (04:13):
I don't know.
I often wonder like if my dadwas that person, like two
people, like when they firstmeet him.
'cause he was like a lifermarine, you know, just very, you
know, always still got the shortand neat haircut.
Just recently, he, I think hegoes every three weeks instead
of every two weeks.
It's just very, you know, he isan intimidating guy.
(04:34):
especially when I was younger,he is really tall.
like six foot something, very inshape.
he was a Marine, it's all abouthim, so.
I imagine that some people, whenthey first meet my dad, it was
probably similar to that.
Like, oh my God, who is thisfellow?
Yeah.
I could definitely see that.
Yeah, for sure.
Tanya (04:52):
Yeah.
And yeah, it can be tough.
I don't know that I've had anexperience with that.
I definitely felt with myin-laws, it was just more of an
overwhelm because I was meetinga lot of his Portuguese family.
Sometimes there's a languagebarrier.
There's just a lot of them, theylike to gather a lot and there's
a lot of'em, lots of food.
Lots of.
talking and stuff.
So that can be just a lot atfirst.
(05:13):
But
Erin (05:14):
I don't think anybody was thinking too intimidating
because you mentioned friendstoo.
I remember some friends' parentsjust meeting them for the first
time and being nervous.
But I think that's normal, whenyou're a teenager, I definitely
didn't feel intimidated by myhusband's family.
I felt welcome, But yeah, I dowonder how my dad was perceived
by friends and family when theyfirst met him.
Yeah.
Military people can definitely,yeah, especially marine.
(05:35):
Maybe give off a vibe just
Tanya (05:37):
because,
Erin (05:37):
you know.
Tanya (05:38):
Yeah.
That can be intense.
we learned that Jack is, youknow, he's not coming out and
saying it because it's kind of afamily secret that he was a
former CIA operative and Gregstarts to suspect he's still
running operations.
And he is, but he's kind ofjust, you know, running
operations on like getting.
Erin (05:56):
Yeah,
Tanya (05:56):
a honeymoon set up for his other daughter, Debbie, the
one that's getting married andspeaking in Thai.
And also just watching Greg, sogiving him the, what was it?
The, lie detector.
Yeah.
Lie detector test or whatever.
Very intense.
Erin (06:09):
Yeah.
Tanya (06:10):
Oh yeah, that's in the trailer the camper.
It was like a built-in, likeunderneath something like it
kind of raised up and went off.
that made me so claustrophobicwhen I saw that.
So like, goes into the floor,
Erin (06:20):
this is where I live forever.
Yeah.
I think Jack did a good job of
Tanya (06:24):
making Greg feel small, you know?
And Greg was just kind of, Ithink he started to gather
confidence that even though hewas messing up because he was a
very anxious.
Person.
So I think when you're, youknow, you're anxious, you're
gonna, you tend to kind of slipoff.
Yeah.
You sometimes overshare whenyou're in a state of anxiety,
Erin (06:41):
or you might just not remember exactly what the truth
is because Greg really wanted toimpress Jack, and so he's
probably like, oh gosh, I wannaanswer the right thing.
some of the questions he wasasking were so personal and so
insane.
Yeah.
Tanya (06:55):
Yeah, and it's intense.
It's like in front of otherpeople.
He is kind of embarrassing him.
I don't like that I either getreally mad or trip up.
it definitely can make me dosome silly things.
But Greg is pretty strong forstaying on, I think, and trying
to meet his own, doesn't he losethe cat or he lets the cat out?
Jinxx.
Who's like.
The superior cat that the dadhas trained.
(07:18):
And then he tries to, becausehe's like, oh man, he is gonna
be mad.
So he tries to get this straycat.
He doesn't know all the tricks,looks like him.
or like a shelter cat.
And then the neighbor ends upcoming back with Jinx and he is
like, it just seems like he's aliar.
But really it's like he scared Ican't, you're gonna.
Erin (07:37):
Yeah.
Tanya (07:38):
And then, you know, Greg just has his moments.
they're playing watervolleyball.
He accidentally hits the balland it hits Pam's sister's face
right before her wedding.
Jack's just like, what's wrongwith you?
he does a good job of oustinghim basically.
he just does not think he's goodenough and he kind of makes it
look like, oh, he did it tohimself.
So he's very manipulative.
it's almost, it's like, youknow, in the ca a he torture,
(08:00):
probably learned somepsychological tricks, I'm
guessing.
Erin (08:03):
Really overtake, you know, whatever situation he is in and
making Greg feel like really,you know, less than probably
increase his anxiety.
That's probably part of Jack'splan too.
Like how can I make him afumbling mess or, you know, make
my daughter not wanna date him.
Yeah.
and I think ultimately
Tanya (08:21):
this is what bothers me about these movies, and maybe
it's just like, not so muchanymore, but definitely from
like the early two thousands andbefore where it's like, you
know, the resolve is JackOverhears finally Greg leaves
because he is just like, okay,they clearly don't want me, I'm
messing up.
He's just like, yeah, they'retrying to get the ex-boyfriend,
whatever, and Pam talks to him.
(08:42):
and Pam talks to Greg on thephone Jack overhears how much,
she really loves him and caresabout him, so he wants to
rectify.
He is like, oh, I don't wannahurt my daughter.
And like, he didn't see that allalong, but saw that in the phone
call.
Erin (08:53):
the whole relationship.
I don't see that in person.
I just see what I wanna see.
Tanya (08:57):
yeah, so I think it kind of shows how much control Jack
has, but also how much is maybekept from him as well
Erin (09:05):
Yeah,
Tanya (09:06):
he's a formidable character, right?
He's tough to be around.
Yeah.
his family is probablyintimidating too.
Erin (09:10):
They probably learn to walk on eggshells around him so
they can be perceived as theperfect daughter like whatever
role he's assigned them, theyprobably want him to still them
as that, you know, because he isprobably a little scary or.
A little intense even at home intheir unit that he wants to
protect so much.
(09:31):
Yeah.
And the fact that he was
Tanya (09:32):
in the CAA, they probably had to deal with things that
were like, okay, I don't know.
But I have to just be okay withthat.
they kind of got used to thatpattern and bringing someone in
is very serious to Jack and theyunderstand that.
They probably feel, I think themom and, Pam especially really
feel for Greg and see that he'sa nice person, but the mom kind
(09:53):
of has just dealt with his anticfor a long time, so she's a
little, she comes off a littlepassive, but kind of like she
will be able to get through tohim sometimes.
that's probably how she had tomanage.
Erin (10:02):
a state of paranoia too, like if you didn't know what his
intentions are or what hisbackground is.
Tanya (10:07):
I don't know how anybody could be in a family with, or be
a person who is like an FBI orCIA.
I would just be very paranoidAnd plus you would have a whole
separate life you could notshare and things you couldn't
share with your partner orfamily.
it's just tough.
It comes out in some way, youknow, and a lot of people
Erin (10:24):
probably don't even know what he does for a living.
So he probably just has to sharehalf of himself with them.
Yeah.
Like I think he says he's like a
Tanya (10:31):
He's a florist but Greg finds that weird.
from the start.
he brings a rare flower andyeah.
Jack doesn't know what it is andhe is like, oh, that's weird.
So he's, kind of suspicious.
trying to sniff people out, buthe himself is carrying this big
secret.
Erin (10:45):
kind.
Tanya (10:46):
And then for the next, in the series Meet the Fs, we meet
Greg's parents and see, how heis the way he is.
his parents are the completeopposite of hams.
They're very like freewheelingand free love, and.
You know dad is former lawyers.
Well, it's even interesting dad,
Erin (11:03):
They're all taking a road trip to the parents' house.
Greg is again trying to reallybond with the dad when they pull
up to the house, Greg's dad islike shirtless gardening or
whatever he is doing out front.
He is like, are those yourparents?
You know, because they're likedressed very loudly and they
just.
Aren't, you know, probably whatJack is accustomed to or what
Jack expects from adults.
Tanya (11:25):
Very serious and, you know, kind of always, you know,
in those interactions that itvery much reflects how he is
with people.
He is kind of standoffish, kindof aloof.
for various reasons, his momfollows suit, But she, meets the
FS and she likes the mom.
She's like, Hey, this is kind ofnice.
And she sees how much Greg'sparents are actually expressed
(11:45):
love to each other.
They're not like, afraid ofthat.
And, you know, the dad was alawyer turned stayat home dad.
So he's very emotionally awareand.
She's a sex therapist, so she isvery open With things.
And I think that's appealing tothe mom because she's lived with
this stifled, contained marriageand way of looking at family
with Jack for a while.
she seems drawn to them and Jackjust immediately is rejecting
(12:11):
them.
He's just like, no, I don't wantthis, I don't like this.
you could see Greg being alittle embarrassed about his
parents and their presentationhe knows how Jack will receive
them.
and how it might be a reflectionon him.
we were talking earlier, Aaronand I, we were talking about,
how.
Greg, you can see from hisparents why he is a people
(12:32):
pleaser and maybe why he isanxious he didn't have much
structure growing up and whenthere is somebody authoritative,
he might respond by saying,right, I have to, do whatever
they tell me.
Erin (12:41):
who were very.
Supportive to a fault.
we were both laughing, likewhere they have all the ribbons
and trophies, and Jack is like,what?
I didn't even know they made aninth place trophy.
What is this?
And then the dad's like, oh no,we have more.
There's 10th place and 11thplace.
He is like, what?
Why would you even display this?
Tanya (13:01):
It is really funny to me though.
Do what you gotta do.
But like, It's so proud.
He's the biggest
Erin (13:06):
He's just like, I'm so proud of my boy and Jack.
a good example of the twodifferent worlds and mindsets.
Now Greg is trying to livebetween both worlds, like where
he wants Jack's approvals.
Like, you know, Jack is probablylike, we only display first
place trophies having that muchacceptance from your parents,
You would think it'd be veryfreeing, but it probably does
(13:26):
create a lot of anxiety becauseGreg probably never really knew
exactly who he was or who hewanted to be.
Yeah, he kind of,
Tanya (13:33):
feedback he got was kind of always positive.
And so if you don't get anyfeedback that's constructive,
maybe lovingly guiding it, itmight give a kid a false sense
of who they are and, or maybejust kind of feel like I don't
really know who I am, or maybe Ican't handle things that are
kind of tough and.
you know, when people docriticize me or are rude I don't
(13:53):
think that's necessarily the wayGreg is.
I think he's sensitive and can.
Somewhat handle his own, but hedefinitely had some people
pleaser tendencies.
'cause he didn't really havethat structure and he had that
kind of one-way feedback whereit was just you're great no
matter what you do.
and we're not, I'm not trying toput that down.
If anybody else does thatparenting style, more power to
you.
We don't want everyone, we'reall saying yelled, you know?
(14:15):
this was very exaggerated.
Erin (14:16):
Like, not to the extreme of Jack.
And not to the extreme of, theFs, some people thrive in that.
Some people thrive in like the,oh, I had the hippie dippy
parent, and I was like, really?
You know, like, look at me now.
it creates a state of anxiety oflike, well, I have so much
uncertainty because I don'treally have a clear set path
(14:37):
because I wasn't reallyencouraged.
It was just kinda like, oh,whatever you really wanna do is
fine.
It's like, well, I don't knowwhat I wanna do.
That's the problem.
Tanya (14:46):
kids actually do crave and need guidance.
They may not act like it.
But they need that.
Otherwise, you're kind of,leaving them alone in it.
With Greg's parents, he was verymuch, loved and cared for.
put, more free choice andsupporting your feelings
Erin (15:01):
I don't know if she is a psychiatrist or a sex therapist,
I'm sure she was veryencouraging, like, how are you
feeling?
Dustin Hoffman's character seemslike he was very in touch with
his emotions and feelings too.
Yeah,
Tanya (15:13):
for sure.
Erin (15:13):
was.
Tanya (15:14):
I mean, with those little Hawaiian shirts and Tai Chi he
definitely was not afraid tojust be himself, which I think
that's pretty cool.
They both are very not afraid.
Greg's parents are not afraid tobe themselves.
They're not ashamed.
however, they didn't seem tohave a lot of boundaries.
In one particular case, theywere like, oh yeah, Greg lost
(15:36):
his virginity to thehousekeeper, who was apparently
a lot older.
And they were just like, cool.
But we all knew about it andwe're just gonna talk about it
right in front of you guys.
your future in-laws and Pam andGreg are getting married in this
one spoiler, in case you haven'tseen this.
So they are planning the weddingand everything.
but yeah, that's kinda like alack of boundaries, lack of
privacy.
(15:56):
It's gotta be kind of tough.
Erin (15:58):
knowing ev things be so open, especially if you're kind
of more and anxious child.
And also they probably didn'tlet Greg be a kid or even a teen
There was a lot of purificationor however you say that, you
know, like where, they reallylet him be part of the adult
roles.
They're having those adultconversations with him too.
it is a little more freeing anda little more open.
(16:21):
that's not always the best wayto parent because there aren't
as many boundaries.
Tanya (16:26):
I think it really depends on the kid, but it seems like
Greg grew up knowing he wasloved, but he,
Erin (16:32):
he maybe has
Tanya (16:32):
some anxiety and like we talked about you know, people
pleasing tendencies and maybejust some shame about certain
things.
Well, and that's also, you don't
Erin (16:39):
really want that shared, you know, with your possible
future fa father-in-law, youknow, like yeah's awkward.
Tanya (16:45):
Especially if he's a former retired CIA agent and
sees the housekeeper's child whohas an uncanny eyebrow
resemblance to Ben Stiller.
And then the whole, plot with.
Jack trying to get the DNA inthe tooth serum to be like, is
that your kid?
but yeah, it really is acollision of two worlds of over
control versus we're gonna givejust love and free structure.
(17:08):
Yeah.
And let the child kind ofchoose, you know, so it's very
opposite spectrums and parentingand even where they live.
I thought that was interesting.
Like Pam's parents are in NewYork and.
greg's parents are in Miami.
they're just even in oppositecoasts.
And like the perception of,people that live there, like
down south is kind of morerelaxed and up north is more
uptight But yeah, it is, reallyinteresting see that and to get
(17:29):
a glimpse into Greg's world andwhere he comes from and that
he's on his home territory.
he maybe doesn't have to be asintimidated.
He's kind of.
Presumably since meet theparents, been able to hang out
with the family more.
Maybe Jack has been a littlemore comfortable with him, but
he clearly is still always gonnabe suspicious because he Thinks
the kid is the housekeeper's kidis his, you know, gives him a
(17:51):
truth serum and Yeah.
Tries to get a, and gets a DNAtest.
ultimately, it's not his kid,it's some baseball player And
then even the cat Jinx that theybring is a dominating control
freak, which is like Right.
You know, Jack's personalitymirrored in the cat and he tries
he, well, he does succeed influshing the Fers dog.
Erin (18:11):
no one
Tanya (18:11):
Yeah, I just go swirling down.
He is all blue from that yuckyblue toilet chemical stuff but
yeah, I thought this was reallyinteresting because I remember
when this came out, like meetthe parents was like 2000 and to
meet the FS was 2004.
So I was, you know, high schooland college around that time.
I remember thinking it waspretty funny, but I was like, oh
(18:32):
my gosh, I would hate to be inGreg's position.
I remember just feeling reallybad for him.
as an anxious person who's verypeople pleasing I can relate
more to the parenting stylethat, Greg has, but not in the
same way.
It wasn't different, but lessstructured.
Erin (18:47):
So, my mom was more of a bonger, and my dad was more
like, Jack, I guess that createsa lot of insight.
I could kind of see that.
Yeah.
for a child, it's like, how am Isupposed to act?
am I supposed to be relaxed withthis parent, or show no emotion.
That's hard.
Yeah.
I think my dad was kind of
Tanya (19:01):
Jack kind of, but I didn't live with him very often
and he would go back and forthwith things because of the,
issues that he had.
he did have moments of that.
I guess I'm just speaking morein terms of my mom mostly, my
mom did raise us and so she was,I think she was always working.
she just didn't really have anytime to regulate, she was very
busy.
that can create a lot ofanxiety, I'm not blaming my mom
(19:22):
did the best that she could do,and that was a lot.
it was, a lot of kids, fivekids, so that's a lot.
she just worked, she had to worka lot and couldn't really set up
things for us I remember I was achild who craved, structure and
discipline, but.
I didn't have the words and wejust didn't have the resources.
Erin (19:37):
I think I've talked about it in the past, I feel like
being the youngest, I often gotthe short shaft of that.
my sibling, especially my olderones, were.
Always in structured sports andactivities I had to sign myself
up for chorus in elementaryschool and middle school, you
know,'cause I wanted to dosomething.
But I never was in any sports ornever in anything.
(19:57):
And I do have knew everyresentment for that, but I do
wish that they would've beenlike, okay, my,'cause my mom got
very loosey goosey.
And she always was, but she gotmore so with, you know, when it
was me, I think she was justdone parenting.
By the time she got to the end,One of my brothers always jokes
and says, yeah, by the time youcame, mom was just kind of done
(20:19):
having kids.
I'm like, oh, great.
That's really awesome to hear.
Tanya (20:21):
Yeah.
I think that's the flight of theyoungest when you have a large
family.
It really is.
at least maybe in that time.
I don't know about now if it'schanged, for sure.
it doesn't fit that poppsychology model where we got
everything and we got baby.
That's not at all what it is.
And not having somebody check inon you is not a great thing.
It's not a fun thing.
for me it was a very, scarynerve wracking anxiety.
Erin (20:43):
Hey, I did not like it.
Even making sure I'm doing myhomework or is anyone checking
to see that I walked home?
Okay.
From, elementary school, likejust little things.
'cause it's just like, ah,whatever.
You know, she's working orthey're working But yeah, it is
kind of like having the adultconversations with you as a
teenager or a young kid, not ayoung adult, you feel like
(21:03):
you're a young adult becauseyou're having these
conversations with your mom.
You know, like that's why I feltlike there wasn't really the.
Boundaries, which it seems likewith Greg's family, they just
were like, oh, we'll just talkabout anything freely with Greg
his whole life.
that's how I felt with my momafter a certain age, This is
weird.
Tanya (21:19):
I didn't have that with my mom.
I kind of had that with just'cause I had older siblings.
And they just probably weredoing their thing and I heard
it.
Not total.
Erin (21:25):
It's not like For stuff, but just like stuff that you
don't wanna hear, you know,which as a kid you shouldn't
really know about, justdifferent things.
Yeah.
Tanya (21:32):
I for my mom it was inadvertently, yeah.
just because of stuff.
Can't overhear stuff of ourhouse.
A lot of things, but, yeah.
Yes.
The youngest is not have easyand a large.
Family, and I'm not saying thatthis is not true for other
people, I think no kid has iteasy in a large group maybe just
in general, being kid is tough.
My mom was the youngest of fiveand she described herself as
like, she felt like she was kindof spoiled and everything, but I
(21:54):
dunno if I even see that.
I had a little bit of aseparation, like between my two
oldest sisters and then I havetwin sisters right above me that
are only a year and a half olderthan me.
So there's kind of a little bitof a division in that.
And I think my older two sisterssaw differences in that because
my dad was probably living withthem more.
when they were growing up.
Whereas my dad was outta thehouse when I was like six.
(22:14):
And I only kind of knew him in acertain way.
that he maybe wasn't back then.
And I think sometimes it wassaid that, you know, because of
not having a structure, which Iso wanted, and a lot of kids,
need it, that, my sisters and Iwere spoiled.
that's just so wrong.
Because we were not.
We kind of were just freefalling a lot, and we kind of
(22:35):
just had each other.
I'm not blaming anyone.
I'm just trying to say that wasmy experience of it.
And, I think they can maybemisperceive that
Erin (22:42):
it's a different childhood because my oldest is 10 years
apart from me, and the next isseven or so.
it's a different childhood from,you know, like, from even
looking at the pictures of them,I'm like totally different
because they had the parent, myparents were in a different
state of mind
Tanya (22:59):
pros and cons I've tried to talk about this.
I don't know if anybody reallytakes my point of view into
account, but I do think Both hadpros and cons.
I wasn't there for the firstpart, But that probably had its
rough points, But not havingrules and nothing looked after
in that department at certainpoints is not right.
that's a really odd, I neverunderstood that.
I was always like, I don't know,I just always felt like when
(23:20):
that would be said, I was justlike, I feel so.
Bad.
I couldn't put it into words,but I was like, it was like a
re, Wounding.
I was like, why am I beingblamed for this?
I don't get it.
family dynamics are weird.
We're talking about differenttypes of families and so it's
Erin (23:33):
all related.
Tanya (23:33):
But families are weird.
That's our assessment, meet theFoxs and meet the parents.
Erin (23:37):
they definitely showcase different styles and how spouses
interact with each other and thekids are based on that too.
it's different.
they are weird.
that's our assessment people's,that's the wees psychotherapist.
So rundown is, yeah.
Yeah.
That's our analysis.
but yeah, so I wanted to, okay.
You know, I like these, our funquestion, which is.
(24:01):
I was gonna ask about
Tanya (24:02):
like which parenting style you'd like more to have
had, but I think I'd rather askwhere would you have liked to
have grown up in New York orMiami?
Well, you know how I feel about
Erin (24:12):
New York, but I guess when would I be growing up in Miami?
If it's Miami in the eighties orseventies maybe.
I don't know.
Of those choices.
I might choose New York, butmaybe more upstate New York, not
the city, not Manhattan.
maybe where it's a little morewoodsy, maybe almost Canada, New
York.
(24:33):
So I choose New York, but reallyupstate, upstate
Tanya (24:35):
Yeah, I agree.
I would choose New York as wellI'm not a fan of the heat.
I feel like maybe I would'vefelt more attuned to the city if
I had been there.
Like, I wouldn't have loved nowwho I am, but maybe I don't
know.
I think maybe got accustom to itor my mom grew up in the Bronx
Erin (24:50):
Yonkers and she loved it and she thrived on it.
she always would pick a citylocation no matter, you know,
'cause she just felt moreconnected in the city So, I
mean, I did appreciate when I'dgo there and I liked it and you
know, I like Manhattan, but Ijust, I don't know, I guess from
different family and differentthings.
It just has really made me notlike New York.
It's not, the whole state.
Tanya (25:11):
I love the things that you have access to in the city,
but crowded places where there'slots of people I don't love.
I do like a lot of upstate NewYork.
I do think it's very nice.
Yeah.
And there's a lot of thingsthere or by the beach, like,
Erin (25:25):
Long Island looks really pretty that's so far from
everything.
It'd be hard to live there.
unless you're really rich.
yeah, for sure.
Tanya (25:32):
it's pretty, in both cities
Erin (25:33):
expensive.
Miami's very expensive too.
Tanya (25:35):
But yeah.
let us know what you think.
This was definitely differentfrom Adam.
Don't worry.
We're not leaving them.
let us know your thoughts andfeelings.
Anything you wanna add, anythingyou want us to know, anything
outside of this we love hearingfrom you.
we are on all socials.
Tell a friend, write us areview.
Share five stars please.
(25:55):
That'd be great.
Erin (25:57):
Have a great week.
Bye.
Thanks for listening to theWicked Psychotherapist Podcast.
Be sure to like and follow us onApple, Spotify, Amazon, or
wherever you listen to yourpodcasts.
You are listening to WickedPsychotherapists, a podcast
where two psychotherapists showyou that taking care of and
learning about mental healthdoesn't have to be wicked
Tanya (00:10):
Hey it's Tanya.
Erin (00:11):
Hi, it's Erin and welcome to Wicked Psychotherapists.
So this week we are,
Tanya (00:17):
we're veering off track from the Adam Sandler, ride, I
guess.
we're.
going towards a few others.
this is just a detour, but weare going to be talking about, a
sequel of movies popular in theearly two thousands.
meet the parents, meet the Fs.
Thought this would have someinteresting family dynamics and
(00:37):
themes to talk about.
Erin (00:39):
these are just pretty good movies.
Pretty funny.
I did
Tanya (00:41):
I've seen meet the Fs quite a few times too, but I did
not, I kind of just went throughsome clips.
So, I'm trying to maybe yeahhave to kind of think of
Erin (00:50):
I think that's why we decided to combine before,
because so often, when you thinkof one of the movies, you think
of the other.
And it just kind of meshestogether so this way we can talk
about both parents andeverything and it's just makes
it a little bit more, you know,congruent
Tanya (01:10):
we start out, we meet one of the main characters, Greg Ben
Stiller, whose full name isGaylord, which does not help him
in the situations he gets in.
he's a nurse or a male nurse.
As, people keep referring to himas, but he is wanting to propose
to his girlfriend gonna go meet.
Comes to realize that her dad isa special type of character, I
(01:35):
guess.
he's very controlling, verysuspicious.
Kind of trying to interrogatehim from the start.
Greg is just trying to pleasehim.
he is very anxious.
Very eager to please around,Jack Pam's father.
the family's preparing for,Pam's sister's wedding.
Greg is invited to that.
So there's a lot of kind oftensions and, you know, things
(01:58):
that are needing to be planned.
A lot of family events.
And, Jack kind of is talkingabout.
Well, you know, to be in thefamily, you have to everything
stays in the family circle.
once you're in, you can't goout.
It's very much like, like, youknow, us against the world in my
family.
Yeah.
he's a control freak for sure.
He's got some control issues.
(02:20):
but yeah.
What was your impression of thedad who's played by
Erin (02:23):
Probably as somebody coming into the family, like
anyone who's first gone intomeeting your significant other's
family member, you're veryintimidated.
So he really wanted to put thatlike, all right, I'm gonna put
it on the Upteam degree andBelittle your profession and
just really make Greg questionhimself and feel probably even
(02:47):
more anxious.
It was probably veryintimidating having your
girlfriend's father firstmeeting his, it just was not a
good experience.
Yeah, he was putting him throughthe ringer for sure.
Tanya (02:57):
He was really trying to, Make him put him down
Erin (03:00):
would
Tanya (03:00):
call him a hassle.
Because he kept callingdirectly, you know, like the
male
Erin (03:03):
nurse me and you know, just, yeah, no, it definitely
didn't respect his profession.
Didn't really want him.
You know, dating his daughter,it's just really wasn't a good
thing.
No one was good enough for hisPam.
You can tell Pam
Tanya (03:17):
was his kind of golden child and, not to mention the
bar is set and possibly high andhere's.
Greg seemingly just a very nicecaring guy, but he's an anxious
guy and he makes mistakes andthat's just not acceptable to
Jack.
And also when he's,
Erin (03:35):
have you ever had experience hearing him between
past boyfriends and everythingtoo?
It's, really difficult.
Oh yeah.
The past fiance, that's like
Tanya (03:44):
utterly perfect.
And he's very much just makinghim feel insecure and it's
working because Greg does nothave a high level of
self-confidence.
Feel like he needs to beaccepted and he just is noticing
that this guy's giving him thethird degree constantly.
so he is just trying to passevery test, which is really
funny.
(04:05):
But at the same point, you feelfor the guy.
but yeah, I was wondering, haveyou ever had an experience where
you had to meet, parents orfriends' parents who were just
really intimidating?
Well,
Erin (04:13):
I don't know.
I often wonder like if my dadwas that person, like two
people, like when they firstmeet him.
'cause he was like a lifermarine, you know, just very, you
know, always still got the shortand neat haircut.
Just recently, he, I think hegoes every three weeks instead
of every two weeks.
It's just very, you know, he isan intimidating guy.
(04:34):
especially when I was younger,he is really tall.
like six foot something, very inshape.
he was a Marine, it's all abouthim, so.
I imagine that some people, whenthey first meet my dad, it was
probably similar to that.
Like, oh my God, who is thisfellow?
Yeah.
I could definitely see that.
Yeah, for sure.
Tanya (04:52):
Yeah.
And yeah, it can be tough.
I don't know that I've had anexperience with that.
I definitely felt with myin-laws, it was just more of an
overwhelm because I was meetinga lot of his Portuguese family.
Sometimes there's a languagebarrier.
There's just a lot of them, theylike to gather a lot and there's
a lot of'em, lots of food.
Lots of.
talking and stuff.
So that can be just a lot atfirst.
(05:13):
But
Erin (05:14):
I don't think anybody was thinking too intimidating
because you mentioned friendstoo.
I remember some friends' parentsjust meeting them for the first
time and being nervous.
But I think that's normal, whenyou're a teenager, I definitely
didn't feel intimidated by myhusband's family.
I felt welcome, But yeah, I dowonder how my dad was perceived
by friends and family when theyfirst met him.
Yeah.
Military people can definitely,yeah, especially marine.
(05:35):
Maybe give off a vibe just
Tanya (05:37):
because,
Erin (05:37):
you know.
Tanya (05:38):
Yeah.
That can be intense.
we learned that Jack is, youknow, he's not coming out and
saying it because it's kind of afamily secret that he was a
former CIA operative and Gregstarts to suspect he's still
running operations.
And he is, but he's kind ofjust, you know, running
operations on like getting.
Erin (05:56):
Yeah,
Tanya (05:56):
a honeymoon set up for his other daughter, Debbie, the
one that's getting married andspeaking in Thai.
And also just watching Greg, sogiving him the, what was it?
The, lie detector.
Yeah.
Lie detector test or whatever.
Very intense.
Erin (06:09):
Yeah.
Tanya (06:10):
Oh yeah, that's in the trailer the camper.
It was like a built-in, likeunderneath something like it
kind of raised up and went off.
that made me so claustrophobicwhen I saw that.
So like, goes into the floor,
Erin (06:20):
this is where I live forever.
Yeah.
I think Jack did a good job of
Tanya (06:24):
making Greg feel small, you know?
And Greg was just kind of, Ithink he started to gather
confidence that even though hewas messing up because he was a
very anxious.
Person.
So I think when you're, youknow, you're anxious, you're
gonna, you tend to kind of slipoff.
Yeah.
You sometimes overshare whenyou're in a state of anxiety,
Erin (06:41):
or you might just not remember exactly what the truth
is because Greg really wanted toimpress Jack, and so he's
probably like, oh gosh, I wannaanswer the right thing.
some of the questions he wasasking were so personal and so
insane.
Yeah.
Tanya (06:55):
Yeah, and it's intense.
It's like in front of otherpeople.
He is kind of embarrassing him.
I don't like that I either getreally mad or trip up.
it definitely can make me dosome silly things.
But Greg is pretty strong forstaying on, I think, and trying
to meet his own, doesn't he losethe cat or he lets the cat out?
Jinxx.
Who's like.
The superior cat that the dadhas trained.
(07:18):
And then he tries to, becausehe's like, oh man, he is gonna
be mad.
So he tries to get this straycat.
He doesn't know all the tricks,looks like him.
or like a shelter cat.
And then the neighbor ends upcoming back with Jinx and he is
like, it just seems like he's aliar.
But really it's like he scared Ican't, you're gonna.
Erin (07:37):
Yeah.
Tanya (07:38):
And then, you know, Greg just has his moments.
they're playing watervolleyball.
He accidentally hits the balland it hits Pam's sister's face
right before her wedding.
Jack's just like, what's wrongwith you?
he does a good job of oustinghim basically.
he just does not think he's goodenough and he kind of makes it
look like, oh, he did it tohimself.
So he's very manipulative.
it's almost, it's like, youknow, in the ca a he torture,
(08:00):
probably learned somepsychological tricks, I'm
guessing.
Erin (08:03):
Really overtake, you know, whatever situation he is in and
making Greg feel like really,you know, less than probably
increase his anxiety.
That's probably part of Jack'splan too.
Like how can I make him afumbling mess or, you know, make
my daughter not wanna date him.
Yeah.
and I think ultimately
Tanya (08:21):
this is what bothers me about these movies, and maybe
it's just like, not so muchanymore, but definitely from
like the early two thousands andbefore where it's like, you
know, the resolve is JackOverhears finally Greg leaves
because he is just like, okay,they clearly don't want me, I'm
messing up.
He's just like, yeah, they'retrying to get the ex-boyfriend,
whatever, and Pam talks to him.
(08:42):
and Pam talks to Greg on thephone Jack overhears how much,
she really loves him and caresabout him, so he wants to
rectify.
He is like, oh, I don't wannahurt my daughter.
And like, he didn't see that allalong, but saw that in the phone
call.
Erin (08:53):
the whole relationship.
I don't see that in person.
I just see what I wanna see.
Tanya (08:57):
yeah, so I think it kind of shows how much control Jack
has, but also how much is maybekept from him as well
Erin (09:05):
Yeah,
Tanya (09:06):
he's a formidable character, right?
He's tough to be around.
Yeah.
his family is probablyintimidating too.
Erin (09:10):
They probably learn to walk on eggshells around him so
they can be perceived as theperfect daughter like whatever
role he's assigned them, theyprobably want him to still them
as that, you know, because he isprobably a little scary or.
A little intense even at home intheir unit that he wants to
protect so much.
(09:31):
Yeah.
And the fact that he was
Tanya (09:32):
in the CAA, they probably had to deal with things that
were like, okay, I don't know.
But I have to just be okay withthat.
they kind of got used to thatpattern and bringing someone in
is very serious to Jack and theyunderstand that.
They probably feel, I think themom and, Pam especially really
feel for Greg and see that he'sa nice person, but the mom kind
(09:53):
of has just dealt with his anticfor a long time, so she's a
little, she comes off a littlepassive, but kind of like she
will be able to get through tohim sometimes.
that's probably how she had tomanage.
Erin (10:02):
a state of paranoia too, like if you didn't know what his
intentions are or what hisbackground is.
Tanya (10:07):
I don't know how anybody could be in a family with, or be
a person who is like an FBI orCIA.
I would just be very paranoidAnd plus you would have a whole
separate life you could notshare and things you couldn't
share with your partner orfamily.
it's just tough.
It comes out in some way, youknow, and a lot of people
Erin (10:24):
probably don't even know what he does for a living.
So he probably just has to sharehalf of himself with them.
Yeah.
Like I think he says he's like a
Tanya (10:31):
He's a florist but Greg finds that weird.
from the start.
he brings a rare flower andyeah.
Jack doesn't know what it is andhe is like, oh, that's weird.
So he's, kind of suspicious.
trying to sniff people out, buthe himself is carrying this big
secret.
Erin (10:45):
kind.
Tanya (10:46):
And then for the next, in the series Meet the Fs, we meet
Greg's parents and see, how heis the way he is.
his parents are the completeopposite of hams.
They're very like freewheelingand free love, and.
You know dad is former lawyers.
Well, it's even interesting dad,
Erin (11:03):
They're all taking a road trip to the parents' house.
Greg is again trying to reallybond with the dad when they pull
up to the house, Greg's dad islike shirtless gardening or
whatever he is doing out front.
He is like, are those yourparents?
You know, because they're likedressed very loudly and they
just.
Aren't, you know, probably whatJack is accustomed to or what
Jack expects from adults.
Tanya (11:25):
Very serious and, you know, kind of always, you know,
in those interactions that itvery much reflects how he is
with people.
He is kind of standoffish, kindof aloof.
for various reasons, his momfollows suit, But she, meets the
FS and she likes the mom.
She's like, Hey, this is kind ofnice.
And she sees how much Greg'sparents are actually expressed
(11:45):
love to each other.
They're not like, afraid ofthat.
And, you know, the dad was alawyer turned stayat home dad.
So he's very emotionally awareand.
She's a sex therapist, so she isvery open With things.
And I think that's appealing tothe mom because she's lived with
this stifled, contained marriageand way of looking at family
with Jack for a while.
she seems drawn to them and Jackjust immediately is rejecting
(12:11):
them.
He's just like, no, I don't wantthis, I don't like this.
you could see Greg being alittle embarrassed about his
parents and their presentationhe knows how Jack will receive
them.
and how it might be a reflectionon him.
we were talking earlier, Aaronand I, we were talking about,
how.
Greg, you can see from hisparents why he is a people
(12:32):
pleaser and maybe why he isanxious he didn't have much
structure growing up and whenthere is somebody authoritative,
he might respond by saying,right, I have to, do whatever
they tell me.
Erin (12:41):
who were very.
Supportive to a fault.
we were both laughing, likewhere they have all the ribbons
and trophies, and Jack is like,what?
I didn't even know they made aninth place trophy.
What is this?
And then the dad's like, oh no,we have more.
There's 10th place and 11thplace.
He is like, what?
Why would you even display this?
Tanya (13:01):
It is really funny to me though.
Do what you gotta do.
But like, It's so proud.
He's the biggest
Erin (13:06):
He's just like, I'm so proud of my boy and Jack.
a good example of the twodifferent worlds and mindsets.
Now Greg is trying to livebetween both worlds, like where
he wants Jack's approvals.
Like, you know, Jack is probablylike, we only display first
place trophies having that muchacceptance from your parents,
You would think it'd be veryfreeing, but it probably does
(13:26):
create a lot of anxiety becauseGreg probably never really knew
exactly who he was or who hewanted to be.
Yeah, he kind of,
Tanya (13:33):
feedback he got was kind of always positive.
And so if you don't get anyfeedback that's constructive,
maybe lovingly guiding it, itmight give a kid a false sense
of who they are and, or maybejust kind of feel like I don't
really know who I am, or maybe Ican't handle things that are
kind of tough and.
you know, when people docriticize me or are rude I don't
(13:53):
think that's necessarily the wayGreg is.
I think he's sensitive and can.
Somewhat handle his own, but hedefinitely had some people
pleaser tendencies.
'cause he didn't really havethat structure and he had that
kind of one-way feedback whereit was just you're great no
matter what you do.
and we're not, I'm not trying toput that down.
If anybody else does thatparenting style, more power to
you.
We don't want everyone, we'reall saying yelled, you know?
(14:15):
this was very exaggerated.
Erin (14:16):
Like, not to the extreme of Jack.
And not to the extreme of, theFs, some people thrive in that.
Some people thrive in like the,oh, I had the hippie dippy
parent, and I was like, really?
You know, like, look at me now.
it creates a state of anxiety oflike, well, I have so much
uncertainty because I don'treally have a clear set path
(14:37):
because I wasn't reallyencouraged.
It was just kinda like, oh,whatever you really wanna do is
fine.
It's like, well, I don't knowwhat I wanna do.
That's the problem.
Tanya (14:46):
kids actually do crave and need guidance.
They may not act like it.
But they need that.
Otherwise, you're kind of,leaving them alone in it.
With Greg's parents, he was verymuch, loved and cared for.
put, more free choice andsupporting your feelings
Erin (15:01):
I don't know if she is a psychiatrist or a sex therapist,
I'm sure she was veryencouraging, like, how are you
feeling?
Dustin Hoffman's character seemslike he was very in touch with
his emotions and feelings too.
Yeah,
Tanya (15:13):
for sure.
Erin (15:13):
was.
Tanya (15:14):
I mean, with those little Hawaiian shirts and Tai Chi he
definitely was not afraid tojust be himself, which I think
that's pretty cool.
They both are very not afraid.
Greg's parents are not afraid tobe themselves.
They're not ashamed.
however, they didn't seem tohave a lot of boundaries.
In one particular case, theywere like, oh yeah, Greg lost
(15:36):
his virginity to thehousekeeper, who was apparently
a lot older.
And they were just like, cool.
But we all knew about it andwe're just gonna talk about it
right in front of you guys.
your future in-laws and Pam andGreg are getting married in this
one spoiler, in case you haven'tseen this.
So they are planning the weddingand everything.
but yeah, that's kinda like alack of boundaries, lack of
privacy.
(15:56):
It's gotta be kind of tough.
Erin (15:58):
knowing ev things be so open, especially if you're kind
of more and anxious child.
And also they probably didn'tlet Greg be a kid or even a teen
There was a lot of purificationor however you say that, you
know, like where, they reallylet him be part of the adult
roles.
They're having those adultconversations with him too.
it is a little more freeing anda little more open.
(16:21):
that's not always the best wayto parent because there aren't
as many boundaries.
Tanya (16:26):
I think it really depends on the kid, but it seems like
Greg grew up knowing he wasloved, but he,
Erin (16:32):
he maybe has
Tanya (16:32):
some anxiety and like we talked about you know, people
pleasing tendencies and maybejust some shame about certain
things.
Well, and that's also, you don't
Erin (16:39):
really want that shared, you know, with your possible
future fa father-in-law, youknow, like yeah's awkward.
Tanya (16:45):
Especially if he's a former retired CIA agent and
sees the housekeeper's child whohas an uncanny eyebrow
resemblance to Ben Stiller.
And then the whole, plot with.
Jack trying to get the DNA inthe tooth serum to be like, is
that your kid?
but yeah, it really is acollision of two worlds of over
control versus we're gonna givejust love and free structure.
(17:08):
Yeah.
And let the child kind ofchoose, you know, so it's very
opposite spectrums and parentingand even where they live.
I thought that was interesting.
Like Pam's parents are in NewYork and.
greg's parents are in Miami.
they're just even in oppositecoasts.
And like the perception of,people that live there, like
down south is kind of morerelaxed and up north is more
uptight But yeah, it is, reallyinteresting see that and to get
(17:29):
a glimpse into Greg's world andwhere he comes from and that
he's on his home territory.
he maybe doesn't have to be asintimidated.
He's kind of.
Presumably since meet theparents, been able to hang out
with the family more.
Maybe Jack has been a littlemore comfortable with him, but
he clearly is still always gonnabe suspicious because he Thinks
the kid is the housekeeper's kidis his, you know, gives him a
(17:51):
truth serum and Yeah.
Tries to get a, and gets a DNAtest.
ultimately, it's not his kid,it's some baseball player And
then even the cat Jinx that theybring is a dominating control
freak, which is like Right.
You know, Jack's personalitymirrored in the cat and he tries
he, well, he does succeed influshing the Fers dog.
Erin (18:11):
no one
Tanya (18:11):
Yeah, I just go swirling down.
He is all blue from that yuckyblue toilet chemical stuff but
yeah, I thought this was reallyinteresting because I remember
when this came out, like meetthe parents was like 2000 and to
meet the FS was 2004.
So I was, you know, high schooland college around that time.
I remember thinking it waspretty funny, but I was like, oh
(18:32):
my gosh, I would hate to be inGreg's position.
I remember just feeling reallybad for him.
as an anxious person who's verypeople pleasing I can relate
more to the parenting stylethat, Greg has, but not in the
same way.
It wasn't different, but lessstructured.
Erin (18:47):
So, my mom was more of a bonger, and my dad was more
like, Jack, I guess that createsa lot of insight.
I could kind of see that.
Yeah.
for a child, it's like, how am Isupposed to act?
am I supposed to be relaxed withthis parent, or show no emotion.
That's hard.
Yeah.
I think my dad was kind of
Tanya (19:01):
Jack kind of, but I didn't live with him very often
and he would go back and forthwith things because of the,
issues that he had.
he did have moments of that.
I guess I'm just speaking morein terms of my mom mostly, my
mom did raise us and so she was,I think she was always working.
she just didn't really have anytime to regulate, she was very
busy.
that can create a lot ofanxiety, I'm not blaming my mom
(19:22):
did the best that she could do,and that was a lot.
it was, a lot of kids, fivekids, so that's a lot.
she just worked, she had to worka lot and couldn't really set up
things for us I remember I was achild who craved, structure and
discipline, but.
I didn't have the words and wejust didn't have the resources.
Erin (19:37):
I think I've talked about it in the past, I feel like
being the youngest, I often gotthe short shaft of that.
my sibling, especially my olderones, were.
Always in structured sports andactivities I had to sign myself
up for chorus in elementaryschool and middle school, you
know,'cause I wanted to dosomething.
But I never was in any sports ornever in anything.
(19:57):
And I do have knew everyresentment for that, but I do
wish that they would've beenlike, okay, my,'cause my mom got
very loosey goosey.
And she always was, but she gotmore so with, you know, when it
was me, I think she was justdone parenting.
By the time she got to the end,One of my brothers always jokes
and says, yeah, by the time youcame, mom was just kind of done
(20:19):
having kids.
I'm like, oh, great.
That's really awesome to hear.
Tanya (20:21):
Yeah.
I think that's the flight of theyoungest when you have a large
family.
It really is.
at least maybe in that time.
I don't know about now if it'schanged, for sure.
it doesn't fit that poppsychology model where we got
everything and we got baby.
That's not at all what it is.
And not having somebody check inon you is not a great thing.
It's not a fun thing.
for me it was a very, scarynerve wracking anxiety.
Erin (20:43):
Hey, I did not like it.
Even making sure I'm doing myhomework or is anyone checking
to see that I walked home?
Okay.
From, elementary school, likejust little things.
'cause it's just like, ah,whatever.
You know, she's working orthey're working But yeah, it is
kind of like having the adultconversations with you as a
teenager or a young kid, not ayoung adult, you feel like
(21:03):
you're a young adult becauseyou're having these
conversations with your mom.
You know, like that's why I feltlike there wasn't really the.
Boundaries, which it seems likewith Greg's family, they just
were like, oh, we'll just talkabout anything freely with Greg
his whole life.
that's how I felt with my momafter a certain age, This is
weird.
Tanya (21:19):
I didn't have that with my mom.
I kind of had that with just'cause I had older siblings.
And they just probably weredoing their thing and I heard
it.
Not total.
Erin (21:25):
It's not like For stuff, but just like stuff that you
don't wanna hear, you know,which as a kid you shouldn't
really know about, justdifferent things.
Yeah.
Tanya (21:32):
I for my mom it was inadvertently, yeah.
just because of stuff.
Can't overhear stuff of ourhouse.
A lot of things, but, yeah.
Yes.
The youngest is not have easyand a large.
Family, and I'm not saying thatthis is not true for other
people, I think no kid has iteasy in a large group maybe just
in general, being kid is tough.
My mom was the youngest of fiveand she described herself as
like, she felt like she was kindof spoiled and everything, but I
(21:54):
dunno if I even see that.
I had a little bit of aseparation, like between my two
oldest sisters and then I havetwin sisters right above me that
are only a year and a half olderthan me.
So there's kind of a little bitof a division in that.
And I think my older two sisterssaw differences in that because
my dad was probably living withthem more.
when they were growing up.
Whereas my dad was outta thehouse when I was like six.
(22:14):
And I only kind of knew him in acertain way.
that he maybe wasn't back then.
And I think sometimes it wassaid that, you know, because of
not having a structure, which Iso wanted, and a lot of kids,
need it, that, my sisters and Iwere spoiled.
that's just so wrong.
Because we were not.
We kind of were just freefalling a lot, and we kind of
(22:35):
just had each other.
I'm not blaming anyone.
I'm just trying to say that wasmy experience of it.
And, I think they can maybemisperceive that
Erin (22:42):
it's a different childhood because my oldest is 10 years
apart from me, and the next isseven or so.
it's a different childhood from,you know, like, from even
looking at the pictures of them,I'm like totally different
because they had the parent, myparents were in a different
state of mind
Tanya (22:59):
pros and cons I've tried to talk about this.
I don't know if anybody reallytakes my point of view into
account, but I do think Both hadpros and cons.
I wasn't there for the firstpart, But that probably had its
rough points, But not havingrules and nothing looked after
in that department at certainpoints is not right.
that's a really odd, I neverunderstood that.
I was always like, I don't know,I just always felt like when
(23:20):
that would be said, I was justlike, I feel so.
Bad.
I couldn't put it into words,but I was like, it was like a
re, Wounding.
I was like, why am I beingblamed for this?
I don't get it.
family dynamics are weird.
We're talking about differenttypes of families and so it's
Erin (23:33):
all related.
Tanya (23:33):
But families are weird.
That's our assessment, meet theFoxs and meet the parents.
Erin (23:37):
they definitely showcase different styles and how spouses
interact with each other and thekids are based on that too.
it's different.
they are weird.
that's our assessment people's,that's the wees psychotherapist.
So rundown is, yeah.
Yeah.
That's our analysis.
but yeah, so I wanted to, okay.
You know, I like these, our funquestion, which is.
(24:01):
I was gonna ask about
Tanya (24:02):
like which parenting style you'd like more to have
had, but I think I'd rather askwhere would you have liked to
have grown up in New York orMiami?
Well, you know how I feel about
Erin (24:12):
New York, but I guess when would I be growing up in Miami?
If it's Miami in the eighties orseventies maybe.
I don't know.
Of those choices.
I might choose New York, butmaybe more upstate New York, not
the city, not Manhattan.
maybe where it's a little morewoodsy, maybe almost Canada, New
York.
(24:33):
So I choose New York, but reallyupstate, upstate
Tanya (24:35):
Yeah, I agree.
I would choose New York as wellI'm not a fan of the heat.
I feel like maybe I would'vefelt more attuned to the city if
I had been there.
Like, I wouldn't have loved nowwho I am, but maybe I don't
know.
I think maybe got accustom to itor my mom grew up in the Bronx
Erin (24:50):
Yonkers and she loved it and she thrived on it.
she always would pick a citylocation no matter, you know,
'cause she just felt moreconnected in the city So, I
mean, I did appreciate when I'dgo there and I liked it and you
know, I like Manhattan, but Ijust, I don't know, I guess from
different family and differentthings.
It just has really made me notlike New York.
It's not, the whole state.
Tanya (25:11):
I love the things that you have access to in the city,
but crowded places where there'slots of people I don't love.
I do like a lot of upstate NewYork.
I do think it's very nice.
Yeah.
And there's a lot of thingsthere or by the beach, like,
Erin (25:25):
Long Island looks really pretty that's so far from
everything.
It'd be hard to live there.
unless you're really rich.
yeah, for sure.
Tanya (25:32):
it's pretty, in both cities
Erin (25:33):
expensive.
Miami's very expensive too.
Tanya (25:35):
But yeah.
let us know what you think.
This was definitely differentfrom Adam.
Don't worry.
We're not leaving them.
let us know your thoughts andfeelings.
Anything you wanna add, anythingyou want us to know, anything
outside of this we love hearingfrom you.
we are on all socials.
Tell a friend, write us areview.
Share five stars please.
(25:55):
That'd be great.
Erin (25:57):
Have a great week.
Bye.
Thanks for listening to theWicked Psychotherapist Podcast.
Be sure to like and follow us onApple, Spotify, Amazon, or
wherever you listen to yourpodcasts.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.