February 26, 2025 • 26 mins
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What happens when the weight of adulthood, identity struggles, and Gen X disillusionment collide?
Reality Bites (1994) explores the messiness of post-college life, and in this episode, we’re breaking it all down.
Join us as we dive into the film’s portrayal of finding meaning, selling out vs. staying true, and why Troy might not be the dreamy intellectual we thought he was.
We unpack Lainey’s journey, Vicky’s underrated character arc, and how Gen Z might relate to the same struggles in new ways.
Plus, we have fun with Reality Bites trivia, unexpected cast discoveries, and some classic 90s nostalgia.
🎙️ Did Lainey make the right choice? Was Troy really the worst? And why does this movie still resonate today?Let’s talk about it!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
You are listening to WickedPsychotherapists, a podcast
where two psychotherapists showyou that taking care of and
learning about mental healthdoesn't have to be wicked hard.
both (00:31):
Hey everyone, this is Tanya.
Hi, this is Erin and welcome toWicked Psychotherapist.
tanya (00:36):
we are traveling into Gen X territory.
We are going with another Winonamovie as promised if you've been
following us.
You know that we're obsessedwith Winona Ryder at the moment.
we have varying obsessions,going to talk about the movie,
Reality Bites, and this is a,uh, a 90s classic, 1994, I
(00:57):
believe, this was kind of like,uh, really a, a great movie for
people who were, you know,graduating college in their
early 20s, around this time, itkind of showed the, Uh
Erin (01:07):
huh.
tanya (01:08):
maybe the, the angst or the, need for trying to find,
like, who, who are we in this,you know, day and age after the
baby boomers, you know, having,having them as parents and they
were, you know, went throughthis whole, I don't know, hippie
culture and then turning intolike the eighties yuppies kind
of thing and going corporate andso they're kind of inheriting
(01:31):
this You know, work ethic, butalso, wanting to be authentic to
themselves.
it's such an interesting moviebecause it's just, it's so
great.
I mean, all the actors in theretoo are just amazing.
There's Ethan Highhawk andJanine Garofalo.
both (01:44):
Yeah, we had to do some, we had to do some sleuthing for
her and Andy Dick.
We just realized
tanya (01:49):
Renee Zellweger was in it at the very beginning.
If you didn't know that, littlepiece of trivia.
We were like, I was astounded.
I was like, what?
Erin had told me.
we still can't really figure outwhere Andy Dick was.
Like, it's still, if anybodyknows, please let us know.
It's just a sleazy boss, so, ohmy gosh! Was he, was he, did he
play when she was interviewing,and, for jobs, after she got let
(02:11):
go from the
both (02:11):
production for a job?
I don't know.
Maybe.
And he was the
tanya (02:15):
one that was like, it was like a Rated X kind of movie
place.
both (02:21):
I guess so.
tanya (02:21):
Was that him?
both (02:24):
Yeah,
tanya (02:24):
cause John Mahoney was her other boss.
Maybe that's what they meant bysleazy boss.
both (02:29):
Well, now he's two.
That two for, you know Yeah.
Three times we've talked aboutJohn Mahoney.
Yeah.
The podcast.
And he was, he
Erin (02:37):
played
both (02:38):
out two times.
He hasn't been the
Erin (02:39):
nicest, so we don't like that.
Come on.
he is the best as Marty andFrazier.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But we, but
tanya (02:46):
he, he ends up being victorious and Frazier, so
that's
Erin (02:49):
his most loved role.
both (02:51):
Mm-hmm
tanya (02:51):
Yes, so this is just like jam packed with
Erin (02:55):
so
tanya (02:55):
many different, I don't know, classic people, at least
for our generation, I feel like,I don't know, they all were.
Maybe some people don't know whosome of these people are,
Anyway, so this movie we thoughtwas interesting because it, it
talks about finding your path,your identity post college.
There's, you know, a group offour friends.
They're all trying to, you know,find, they just graduated
college.
Lainey, who's Winona Ryder isthe valedictorian.
(03:17):
She's giving a speech and kindof ends up saying, like, she's
the answer to all theseproblems.
She's inherited from hergeneration.
I don't know.
I don't know.
You know, and it's because shekind of lost her place, but
really.
In essence, like, she probablyreally doesn't know and
Erin (03:29):
nobody really knows.
Yeah, I don't I don't know ifthere is an answer.
Yeah, but, yeah, so
tanya (03:34):
I think that this is, a movie that a lot of people can
relate to if you're of thatgeneration and And as we were
talking about of the, thegeneration now, the Gen, Gen
Zers I think they would findsome similar points.
It would be very different interms of how they would maybe
try to find themselves or findjobs.
I don't think there would be anavailability of all these kind
(03:56):
of creative social media contentcreator type jobs, or even just
virtual jobs, you know, to beable to find yourself.
But I, I think Lainey is reallystruggling with finding meaning.
She really wants to, makesomething of videos that she's
making of her friends.
both (04:10):
you know.
Erin (04:11):
Yeah, it's, it's really kind of interesting to
tanya (04:13):
see all the different characters.
There's Ethan Hawke plays Troy,who's kind of this like
disaffected genius type whodoesn't really care about You
know, how, like, if he has,like, a high power job or makes
a lot of money that has a lot ofprestige, he just, he doesn't
even care to finish college.
He's just like, nah, I don'tneed it.
And just works at a gas station,smokes some, some weed here and
(04:33):
there or a lot, actually, Ithink in the movie and yeah, and
there's kind of some tensionbetween him and Winona Laney,
forgetting her name.
But Vicky, Janine Garofalo, is,Lainey's best friend, and
there's just a lot ofinteractions, a lot of things
where it's showing them, youknow, Ethan's, Ethan Hawke's
character is very much kind oflike, he can't really get
(04:55):
involved, he can't commit, hekind of has a string of, I think
as, as Lainey termed it, like,Empty bimbos or something, empty
headed bimbos, something likethat, you know, he kind of
doesn't really have likeanything where anybody would
really get to know him and thenshe starts dating, Ben Stiller,
who's another person thatappears in this, who's kind of
more of like the typical kind ofwhat they would term as a
yuppies, very corporate.
(05:17):
You know, very high end job.
yeah, it's just that you don'texpect her to start
both (05:23):
dating him, though, and here's somebody who's buying her
lunch or dinner and payingattention to her and when she's
not having to, you know, put allthe effort she seems to
Erin (05:32):
have to do for other people she's dated or liked.
Yeah.
And even kind of, like,
tanya (05:37):
just, yeah, being different from her friends, I
think she's kind of curious andkind of like, oh, you know, this
is kind of what I always thoughtI didn't want, but I think she's
kind of investigating that partof her life, sort of.
And Vicky, who we both agree isan awesome character.
she's fun.
She's kind of like super into70s stuff.
Xanadu or Grease?
Doesn't she have like a posterof Yeah, Grease.
(05:58):
John
Erin (05:58):
Travolta in what's the, oh my god, I can't even think of
the movie.
Pulp Fiction?
Where he's
both (06:03):
the, you know, the, Oh, oh, oh my gosh not Creep, but
the, like he's,
tanya (06:09):
where
both (06:09):
he's in the, I don't know.
I
tanya (06:11):
don't know.
It's like in the, it's a 70smovie where he's like, I can't
figure out if you're screamingat
both (06:16):
us right now.
Yeah, I feel like it's, I'mthinking, I'm thinking, but you
all know that, that I, you'llsee, you'll, you'll see him,
you'll see him doing the handthings that.
Tanya was doing that.
You can't see it because we'reon a break.
Erin (06:29):
Well, it's in the movie.
It pans over on the poster andshe's got, like, Yeah.
My rendition.
Yeah.
tanya (06:36):
Exactly.
But, like, she's obsessed with,like, 70s culture and she's also
kind of goes through, like, youknow, a series of one night
stands that she keeps track ofin her diary and then we learn
that she's kind of afraid she'sgetting tested at a clinic
because she might have, like,AIDS.
That was kind of You know, at ahigh point at that time, like
that fear
both (06:55):
called Laney, there's probably the chance of
Connection
Erin (06:58):
chance of vulnerability yeah Which is so ironic because
I think in
tanya (07:03):
the front group, they all kind of are striving for this
feeling of like, authenticity,what's my like, meaning in life,
but they really struggle withmaking connections with people
and I think that's kind of a, abig part of some of the, the,
the struggle in this movie andkind of finding your identity
and realizing that it's okay to,you know, like someone who is in
(07:25):
a corporate job or even want tobe paid
both (07:27):
it's okay that, you know, you're, you're not a sell out.
It's a, you know, it's.
You know, It's a weird balance,but now, Now that I'm older, you
know, like I feel like, I feellike I, it's like almost full
circle.
So now I'm, you know, like doingtherapy, doing it at home.
I'm able to do stuff I like,plus have fun in between.
So I'm like, Hey, when I'm notseeing clients, I can go outside
(07:49):
or go in the garden or do stuff,you know, like do whatever I
want.
You know, like it's like, I'llhave, I'll have a boss right
over my shoulder or telling mewhat to do.
So it's kind of like full circle
Erin (07:59):
for me.
Yeah.
I think that a lot of
tanya (08:01):
people in, and, and not, of course, not just Gen X, but
like, I think this is justcapturing that, that struggle of
we don't want to embrace the,you know, our parents baby
boomer generation who went frombeing hippies, flower children
to like corporate yuppies kindof thing.
And we don't want to bematerialistic, like, you know,
all the eighties kind of, youknow, that they experienced
(08:23):
growing up and they were, youknow, probably trying to go
against that.
But at the same point.
You can't go so far idealisticwhere you're not caring about,
you know, actual survival andthings like that.
And it was, it was kind ofinteresting where, you know,
Lainey was saying, I just wantedto, you know, it meant something
to me, this document thisdocument, this documentary
documentary.
(08:43):
I can't speak today.
Sorry, there's a, there's athere's a, there's a podcaster
who says documentary and I, Istarted saying that because I've
heard her say it so many times,but documentary
Erin (08:54):
yeah,
tanya (08:55):
like her, her, you know, which ends up starting to date
the, the corporate guy, Michael.
And he decides to hand it overto his corporate company, they,
they really make a mess of it,they cut it up and they make it
all like real world and allthat, that stuff, like the MTV
kind of like.
And they're, they're misquoting,they're cutting out things,
like, cutting the things andsaying, the meaning of life is
(09:16):
pizza, pizza, and it's just likemaking a mockery of all the
things that she wanted to show.
Erin (09:22):
Yeah,
tanya (09:23):
it was kind of nostalgic because, you know, you kind of
saw the way even in that clipwhere Lainey's watching TV and
it's, like, MTV fashion, andit's like, yeah, it's like the,
the bandana for Crips andBloods, Donna Karan, only 75,
which was, Like an insane amountof money at that point for like,
just a little, a scarf andthey're having like, you know,
they're kind of glorifying, youknow, hip hop, gangster culture
(09:45):
it's ridiculous because itreally was like that, it truly
was, it was, there really wasthat era of like, it just went
insane, you know, and not likewe don't do it now with other
things, but that was that wasfor that period of time.
But, yeah, I, I think that thisis really about kind of fighting
against some of these.
You know, perceived mistakes,barriers, whatever it is that of
(10:05):
of the generation before them.
And finding, you know, theiridentity, Laney, trying to
figure out which partner isbetter suited for her, which,
Erin (10:13):
yeah,
both (10:13):
I don't know why she had to choose either I'm like
wishing, like, why can't, whycan't there be a third option
for Laney?
Yeah, like, what if Laneydecided not to date anybody?
And just decided to figure outhow can I get my movie to PBS or
how can I do what she originallywanted to do?
Instead of having a guy Part ofit that would have been even
better like then that would havebeen like a hey reality can be
(10:34):
You get to not be stuck witheither of these
Erin (10:36):
guys Yeah.
Or like your, your path is notbased on,
tanya (10:40):
you know, what, what person you're dating.
And I feel like in that era,that was kind of always how
women were portrayed was like,Oh, okay.
They're, they're, you know,independent and they're, they're
free and they kind of have tofight some, some things in the,
you know, patriarchy.
Like, she's kind of like tellingher dad in the beginning, like,
don't treat mom like a child andI don't want your, your BMW or
(11:01):
she doesn't want your BMW kindof thing.
But at the same point, yeah.
That era and before,
both (11:05):
which,
tanya (11:06):
like, for sure, it's nice
both (11:07):
that in movies today, we're not seeing that as much.
I mean, because I, I loveDelaney.
I, I love who she was and Iliked her style and I just
thought she was just reallycool.
And, yeah.
Even like giving Michael a shotand like that one, one part
where she has that white dresson and she's so excited she got
this.
It's not usually her style, butshe's stepping out and she's
(11:28):
trying something new and she's,and she thinks it's pretty and
then Troy is just like, ugh, youlook like you're wearing a
doily.
Which is like, you know, It's somean and it's just like, instead
of just being like, oh,
Erin (11:39):
that's nice or have fun.
Yeah, he's a doily.
That's so mean.
He's going
both (11:44):
to say something, but you wonder like what is going on
with Lainey's like self esteem,self worth, you know, like what,
you know, at that moment thatshe, you know, cuz even like
with, yeah, Troy's like sayingthat she's like, Oh, well, I'm
gonna go change.
And then Michael's like, no, youlook beautiful, you know, and
he's like thinking like, I'm theone dating you.
(12:04):
Why do you care what he'ssaying?
Why do you care why is Troygetting in your head?
You know, like, let's go, youlook really nice.
And it
Erin (12:11):
took her a moment.
Yeah Troy's like, no, don't gothinking for yourself.
tanya (12:15):
You know, like, he's, he's really a jerk.
He really is.
I hated that.
I was so like, oh, well, like,when she stepped out, I was
like, she looks cute, you know,and like, she's got like the red
lipstick and she's like thislittle, you know, the little
waif gal, you know, and she'sgot a pretty face and you know,
she just looked nice.
It just was like, different fromkind of the, the grunge kind of
wear that she normally like, youknow, had on, but, I thought I
(12:37):
was like, oh, wow, she looksnice.
And then, yeah, it just kind ofsunk that moment.
And I don't know.
I think we were talking aboutthis earlier, but I think Troy,
the character would haveappealed to me when I was
younger, but.
I think Michael, like, if therewere a choice between the two, I
think Michael would now appealto me more because he's not
sleeping on someone's couch.
both (12:57):
By all means, he seems to be a pretty
tanya (12:59):
decent guy.
in like a corporate job, he's
Erin (13:01):
not.
He's not rude
tanya (13:02):
I mean, he seems to care though, too.
Like, he lets her go, like, youknow, for the insurance thing.
He's like, you just, you seemnice and like, yeah, he probably
likes her, but still, I mean,he's.
He's not like, trying to goafter money anywhere.
He can see it.
He's not like litigious and a,you know, jerk like that.
both (13:17):
especially if you're comparing the 2 of them.
It's, you know, like, he, yeah,he does seem like he's.
He can be sweet, but yeah,there's also something about him
that doesn't appeal to Lainey.
Like, you know, like, maybe he'snot as edgy as she has always
dated, or maybe that's somethingthat she's afraid to look
inward, because maybe that'swhat she really wants.
(13:39):
Maybe she wants somebody who hasmoney, who's financially secure,
or
Erin (13:43):
already
both (13:43):
in
Erin (13:44):
their career.
Yeah, and I,
tanya (13:46):
I think there's just not the same, like, physical
attraction and just, like, kindof, like, connection that she
has with Troy, you know, like,she just is kind of, they're,
they're kind of similar andthey're thinking they just kind
of have that thing, you know,that, I don't know, you just
kind of feel in someone else I'mtrying to picture now, like,
say, okay, and this is soridiculous, but I did try to
(14:06):
project into the future withthis movie.
And these fictional characters,and I was like, say they ended
up together, right?
Troy and Laney, what does he endup doing?
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like, she, she seems like shewould continue to pursue her
documentaries, like, kind ofmedia pursuits, you know, maybe
have moved into, like, socialmedia type stuff, digital media,
whatever.
I feel like that would be asafe, safe bet with her.
(14:27):
She seemed pretty driven.
She was connected to that.
But with Troy, I mean, like,does he still want to go after
being in the In a band and likekind of half assing it, like
just kind of, or is he on
both (14:38):
the Lazy Boy drinking a beer?
I don't know, pick up and kindof
tanya (14:41):
do something and then get into like a very rigid and work
ethic and then kind of throwhimself into the world, sort of,
that's what I kind of picturewith him, 20
both (14:48):
years later,
Erin (14:49):
I know, that's what I picture.
Yeah, that's kind
tanya (14:51):
of more what I lean towards, but I, I do know, I
mean, some people can pick it upand be like, okay, and
both (14:58):
they just kind of hang out after he finishes his morning or
whatever.
It doesn't seem like they have agreat relationship, but does
that make him realize like,okay, well, maybe I need to
figure out who I want to be and,you know, get a
Erin (15:10):
or get a trade or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It could have been like
tanya (15:14):
the, the catalyst to kind of give him like the kick in the
pants, you know, to be like, allright, get going.
And I think that's kind of the,the, one of the themes of this
movie is like, what is it thatkind of makes you come to
realize that, you know, yeah, nomatter what you have to be.
In reality, no matter how youkind of deal with it, is that
you get a job where you're justlike, oh, I'm just not going to
try so that I don't have to
both (15:36):
live in that kind of
tanya (15:37):
world,
both (15:38):
you know, where everything is about competing, or is it
kind of like, do I go corporateand go see my full potential?
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, you know, the counties orwhatever, who like after high
school or after, you know, like,or whatever, just kind of get
stuck.
They're just.
You know, time doesn't, youknow, like just kind of stopped
(15:58):
with whatever age they were, youknow, like 18, 19, they're still
probably wearing the same typeof clothes, listening to the
same music, living in theirparents basement, or whatever
they're doing, and it's probablystill smoking pot all day, and
it's just, it's just like what,you know, you wonder what
happened, or why did they decideto just stay, what, what made
(16:21):
them Not progressed toadulthood, you know, and that's
probably probably like with TroyIt's like he he didn't move out,
but he's just kind of likefloating He's like living on
people's couches and doing thisand just not really making that
full commitment past high schoolbecause you and I talked before
I was gonna say session beforeour podcast that That, you know,
(16:44):
like at their age, high schoolwas just a few years before, I
know they just graduated fromcollege, but just like four or
five years before that, theywere just high schoolers.
So, and it sounds like Troy isstill like stuck in between and
a lot of people get stuck inbetween.
And sometimes people don't havethat push to real either realize
that they are stuck because theyhave other people in their life
(17:07):
that keep supporting them,family members or other people,
friends or other people.
That they really have noincentive to
Erin (17:14):
Fully become adults.
Yeah, that's a really goodpoint.
Yeah, and I I think
tanya (17:19):
with Troy he he's like I mean He's known to be very
intellectual but to not to bekind of Against the system,
like, kind of, kind ofantisocial in that, in that
regard, you know, like, kind of,I'm not going to follow the
prescribed path of, you know,that society gives to me.
But I think what you're saying,yeah, at the end, you do see
them kind of change a littlebit.
(17:40):
And who knows, you know, if thiswas just a temporary thing, or
if this actually did, you know,can definitely give someone a,
you know, fresh set of eyes tobe like.
Wait a minute, what the heck amI doing here?
We don't have that long and.
You know, I didn't even get, hedidn't even know his dad too
well, right, because we learnedthat in the movie and yeah, it
may kind of be like, you know,I, I may as well give what it is
(18:03):
I have.
It doesn't matter if this lookslike.
You know, it's inauthentic orit's not helping the world and
this and that.
It does, it doesn't matter.
both (18:11):
then, then he came back and he realized like, oh, well,
I really do to be with Lainey.
I don't want to just datearound.
And, then you see Laney's with,you know, definitely with the
figuring out.
Okay.
Well, I want to work.
I definitely do want to have mydog.
Oh, my God.
Now I can't say the worddocumentary.
Erin (18:29):
Oh, my God.
I hate you.
both (18:31):
Yeah, but the documentary that she had, that now she
realizes, like, this is what Iwant, I want to have the screen,
I want I really want to seethis.
It's a weird way to say that.
Sammy is when he comes out withhis parents, comes out to his
family.
So it's really hard and trying.
And, you know, so that, that isreally his, you know, probably
(18:54):
his big reality thing.
And with Vicki, I think it's, Ithink it's twofold for her.
I think it's when she gets her,uh, management for GAP, because
that's huge.
Because, and then she realizes,this is my career, I want to, I,
I, Really love this.
I'm so proud of myself and Ireally want, this is what I want
to do.
I want to be a manager of GAPand I want to do and work in
(19:16):
retail.
And also I think getting thenegative test from when she got
the AIDS test.
I think those were two bigthings because then that might
have made her realize like, oh,maybe I should be more conscious
of who I'm sleeping with orwhat, what I'm doing or who,
what safety I'm putting inplace.
So I do think each character,each of those four main
(19:38):
characters probably do have,like, it's not like they're not
saying like reality bites likeeach time, but I think they are
having different points ofadulthood
Erin (19:47):
and reality come in.
Yeah, that's an interestingperspective.
I didn't
tanya (19:51):
I didn't think of it that way, but that is a really good
perspective.
I think you're right.
I think that really is kind ofwhere, like, they have those
like transition into, like, Idon't want to say transition
into adulthood, but kind of likewhere they kind of realized,
hey, this is what I need to takeon.
I don't have to be unhappy aboutit and yeah, I have to accept
some like prescribed rules andlike norms and you know, stuff
(20:14):
like that of society, but itdoesn't mean that I'm fully
compromised.
I can still be who I want to be,you know, Vicki can can still
be, you know, kind of her quirkyself and I think she's, I think
she's hilarious and Lainey canstill, you know, be getting
great Transcribed footage of, ofher, her friends and kind of
the, this, you know, thestruggle that she's capturing of
(20:36):
that generation and findingtheir identity and who they are
after college.
And you know, with Troy, Troykind of, Troy finds it at the
very end, so we don't reallyknow, but I'm sure, I mean,
hopefully, I guess we're, Hopingmaybe that that kind of was a,
a, you know, change for him andSammy, of course, you're hoping
will come.
(20:56):
I like, I like Sammy sensesbecause he is, he's, he's a
good,
both (20:59):
like, he's like the
tanya (21:01):
just ridiculous because like the friend that you don't
really, they don't
both (21:04):
really highlight a lot in that.
But he's like, always there.
And he's like the cheerleader
Erin (21:09):
friend.
Yeah, yeah, he really is.
Like, he was so
tanya (21:12):
happy when Vicki got her, her negative test result.
He was just like, Oh, my gosh.
And he was like, always there.
And so I, yeah, he, yeah, thatyou
both (21:19):
would know
tanya (21:20):
that you would notice if they weren't part of the one of
those, yeah, like a cornerstonefriends that, like, maybe is
kind of, kind of in thebackground, but is actually like
a really, yeah.
Great friend that you wouldreally, really miss.
Yeah.
both (21:32):
And that's sad.
And it's sad that that happensor happened a lot back then and
probably still happens today.
It's so sad when he's sittingout in front of
tanya (21:38):
his parents house and he's like, I just want to go
home.
Erin (21:40):
Like, I
tanya (21:40):
just
Erin (21:40):
want
tanya (21:40):
to be able to be let
Erin (21:41):
back inside the house.
You know, like, yeah, that, thathonestly, like, it,
tanya (21:46):
used to feel.
Yeah, they're your children.
I mean, I still do, of course,but like, you know, it, it, it
was a huge, Yeah.
point of like empathy for me.
I just, I, I used to feel solike, I just don't, I just don't
get it.
And like, oh my gosh, thesepeople, they feel, yes, what,
why would you do that to yourkid?
And I still don't get it.
But I feel like, yeah, that was,those were big things.
I think back in that movie notthat again, not that it's not,
(22:08):
but I think it was in adifferent stage you know, kind
of accepting if somebody was,yeah, that was in
both (22:14):
hate
tanya (22:14):
of
both (22:14):
it
tanya (22:14):
too, you know, was, was not.
Heterosexual, uh, but, you know,and then also the, the
Erin (22:20):
AIDS, epidemic was still in pretty full swing.
yeah, I actually just saw
tanya (22:25):
something, it's, this is so weird, but this is before we
even were going to watch this,what we're planning to watch
this movie, but I saw somethingthat I think I posted on
Instagram that was like, therewas this camp for kids that was
established like, I don't know,30 years ago or something, or
maybe in the 80s.
Maybe 40 years ago in the 80s.
But, that was for, for kids whohad HIV and or AIDS and Yeah, I
(22:47):
saw you post that.
I thought that was great.
I had such a, you know, that'slike
both (22:51):
what you, they probably wanted, like when they opened
the camp, they said, theyprobably, you know, like how a
lot of, enough people, like,okay, we're here until we're not
needed anymore.
But they, they never realizedthat it's gonna really actually
come to fruition.
So that's really awesome.
That's
Erin (23:06):
great yeah, that's like one of those things you want to
hear that they, they're
tanya (23:09):
out of business.
Yeah, yeah, that's, that'sreally great.
Yeah.
And, and so, I mean, you know,it just kind of shows the, the
difference in the, in the timeperiod, right?
The things that were really, youknow, at the height, I don't
really know what it may be likeCOVID thinking about that, but
that's not quite the same.
I don't know, but, verydifferent, I think, you know,
where we're at in the timelineswith those things.
(23:30):
But still, obviously,difficulties with those things.
But, yeah, I, I do think it, itwas, you know, and oh, my God,
Ethan Hawke and his green eyes.
He, he was, he was very cute.
Erin (23:42):
He was very cute.
tanya (23:43):
I don't know, I had a huge crush on him.
I know he kind of disappeared,sort of, like, he had, he had a
few more things and he kind ofdisappeared,
Erin (23:49):
but I liked him, man.
He was a cutie, Yeah, he was acutie.
But I just, I,
tanya (23:53):
I think this movie is, I, I hadn't watched it in a while.
I probably watched it probablyin maybe the early 2000s was the
last time, maybe late 90s, Idon't know.
But re watching it again wasinteresting.
I, I forgot.
about a lot of
Erin (24:08):
it and it was just a different perspective.
They're all young.
It's so, it's
tanya (24:13):
so nuts to see them, you know, this was like 30 years
ago, and they were in their 20s,so, yeah, it's, it's just really
different.
And then the fact that Andy Dickis in there, we didn't know
that, and Renee Zellweger, justvery small, small appearances,
but like, they were.
David Spade, yeah, yeah.
Oh my gosh.
David, David Pirner from SoulAsylum.
Erin (24:32):
Yeah, so I think it was just nice to, this is a
tanya (24:35):
movie that if you're into like Gen X ers, if you just like
the point of it, if you're justkind of curious, if you like the
actors or the actresses, justgo, go check it out.
You know, we, we like it being,uh, you know, basically Gen X
ers.
I'm, I'm kind of on the cusp,but.
Basically, and and, you know, Ithink it really is just, it, it
really tells you a lot about howmuch things have evolved and how
(24:58):
much they have not.
It's kind of the same.
Same thing I was thinking, youknow, while watching it, I was
like, wow, I've definitely heardpeople who are.
In this latest generation, orjust younger people saying, you
know, some of these things thatthat they're talking about in
the movie that are worries andstruggles and
Erin (25:13):
everything just maybe with different language.
tanya (25:15):
let's uh, let's close it out and, you know, we hope you
enjoyed this, let us know whatyou think, let us know if you
want to watch it, or if you havewatched it, or if you watch it
again, and if that kind ofchanged your perspective the way
it did with both of us,
But don't forget, stay wickedand keep your mind well.
All right.
Have a great week and we'll talkto you soon.
(25:37):
Bye bye.
Bye guys.
Thanks so much for listeningtoday to the Wicked
Psychotherapist podcast.
Be sure to like and follow us onApple, Spotify, and Amazon, or
wherever else you listen to yourpodcasts.
You are listening to WickedPsychotherapists, a podcast
where two psychotherapists showyou that taking care of and
learning about mental healthdoesn't have to be wicked hard.
both (00:31):
Hey everyone, this is Tanya.
Hi, this is Erin and welcome toWicked Psychotherapist.
tanya (00:36):
we are traveling into Gen X territory.
We are going with another Winonamovie as promised if you've been
following us.
You know that we're obsessedwith Winona Ryder at the moment.
we have varying obsessions,going to talk about the movie,
Reality Bites, and this is a,uh, a 90s classic, 1994, I
(00:57):
believe, this was kind of like,uh, really a, a great movie for
people who were, you know,graduating college in their
early 20s, around this time, itkind of showed the, Uh
Erin (01:07):
huh.
tanya (01:08):
maybe the, the angst or the, need for trying to find,
like, who, who are we in this,you know, day and age after the
baby boomers, you know, having,having them as parents and they
were, you know, went throughthis whole, I don't know, hippie
culture and then turning intolike the eighties yuppies kind
of thing and going corporate andso they're kind of inheriting
(01:31):
this You know, work ethic, butalso, wanting to be authentic to
themselves.
it's such an interesting moviebecause it's just, it's so
great.
I mean, all the actors in theretoo are just amazing.
There's Ethan Highhawk andJanine Garofalo.
both (01:44):
Yeah, we had to do some, we had to do some sleuthing for
her and Andy Dick.
We just realized
tanya (01:49):
Renee Zellweger was in it at the very beginning.
If you didn't know that, littlepiece of trivia.
We were like, I was astounded.
I was like, what?
Erin had told me.
we still can't really figure outwhere Andy Dick was.
Like, it's still, if anybodyknows, please let us know.
It's just a sleazy boss, so, ohmy gosh! Was he, was he, did he
play when she was interviewing,and, for jobs, after she got let
(02:11):
go from the
both (02:11):
production for a job?
I don't know.
Maybe.
And he was the
tanya (02:15):
one that was like, it was like a Rated X kind of movie
place.
both (02:21):
I guess so.
tanya (02:21):
Was that him?
both (02:24):
Yeah,
tanya (02:24):
cause John Mahoney was her other boss.
Maybe that's what they meant bysleazy boss.
both (02:29):
Well, now he's two.
That two for, you know Yeah.
Three times we've talked aboutJohn Mahoney.
Yeah.
The podcast.
And he was, he
Erin (02:37):
played
both (02:38):
out two times.
He hasn't been the
Erin (02:39):
nicest, so we don't like that.
Come on.
he is the best as Marty andFrazier.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But we, but
tanya (02:46):
he, he ends up being victorious and Frazier, so
that's
Erin (02:49):
his most loved role.
both (02:51):
Mm-hmm
tanya (02:51):
Yes, so this is just like jam packed with
Erin (02:55):
so
tanya (02:55):
many different, I don't know, classic people, at least
for our generation, I feel like,I don't know, they all were.
Maybe some people don't know whosome of these people are,
Anyway, so this movie we thoughtwas interesting because it, it
talks about finding your path,your identity post college.
There's, you know, a group offour friends.
They're all trying to, you know,find, they just graduated
college.
Lainey, who's Winona Ryder isthe valedictorian.
(03:17):
She's giving a speech and kindof ends up saying, like, she's
the answer to all theseproblems.
She's inherited from hergeneration.
I don't know.
I don't know.
You know, and it's because shekind of lost her place, but
really.
In essence, like, she probablyreally doesn't know and
Erin (03:29):
nobody really knows.
Yeah, I don't I don't know ifthere is an answer.
Yeah, but, yeah, so
tanya (03:34):
I think that this is, a movie that a lot of people can
relate to if you're of thatgeneration and And as we were
talking about of the, thegeneration now, the Gen, Gen
Zers I think they would findsome similar points.
It would be very different interms of how they would maybe
try to find themselves or findjobs.
I don't think there would be anavailability of all these kind
(03:56):
of creative social media contentcreator type jobs, or even just
virtual jobs, you know, to beable to find yourself.
But I, I think Lainey is reallystruggling with finding meaning.
She really wants to, makesomething of videos that she's
making of her friends.
both (04:10):
you know.
Erin (04:11):
Yeah, it's, it's really kind of interesting to
tanya (04:13):
see all the different characters.
There's Ethan Hawke plays Troy,who's kind of this like
disaffected genius type whodoesn't really care about You
know, how, like, if he has,like, a high power job or makes
a lot of money that has a lot ofprestige, he just, he doesn't
even care to finish college.
He's just like, nah, I don'tneed it.
And just works at a gas station,smokes some, some weed here and
(04:33):
there or a lot, actually, Ithink in the movie and yeah, and
there's kind of some tensionbetween him and Winona Laney,
forgetting her name.
But Vicky, Janine Garofalo, is,Lainey's best friend, and
there's just a lot ofinteractions, a lot of things
where it's showing them, youknow, Ethan's, Ethan Hawke's
character is very much kind oflike, he can't really get
(04:55):
involved, he can't commit, hekind of has a string of, I think
as, as Lainey termed it, like,Empty bimbos or something, empty
headed bimbos, something likethat, you know, he kind of
doesn't really have likeanything where anybody would
really get to know him and thenshe starts dating, Ben Stiller,
who's another person thatappears in this, who's kind of
more of like the typical kind ofwhat they would term as a
yuppies, very corporate.
(05:17):
You know, very high end job.
yeah, it's just that you don'texpect her to start
both (05:23):
dating him, though, and here's somebody who's buying her
lunch or dinner and payingattention to her and when she's
not having to, you know, put allthe effort she seems to
Erin (05:32):
have to do for other people she's dated or liked.
Yeah.
And even kind of, like,
tanya (05:37):
just, yeah, being different from her friends, I
think she's kind of curious andkind of like, oh, you know, this
is kind of what I always thoughtI didn't want, but I think she's
kind of investigating that partof her life, sort of.
And Vicky, who we both agree isan awesome character.
she's fun.
She's kind of like super into70s stuff.
Xanadu or Grease?
Doesn't she have like a posterof Yeah, Grease.
(05:58):
John
Erin (05:58):
Travolta in what's the, oh my god, I can't even think of
the movie.
Pulp Fiction?
Where he's
both (06:03):
the, you know, the, Oh, oh, oh my gosh not Creep, but
the, like he's,
tanya (06:09):
where
both (06:09):
he's in the, I don't know.
I
tanya (06:11):
don't know.
It's like in the, it's a 70smovie where he's like, I can't
figure out if you're screamingat
both (06:16):
us right now.
Yeah, I feel like it's, I'mthinking, I'm thinking, but you
all know that, that I, you'llsee, you'll, you'll see him,
you'll see him doing the handthings that.
Tanya was doing that.
You can't see it because we'reon a break.
Erin (06:29):
Well, it's in the movie.
It pans over on the poster andshe's got, like, Yeah.
My rendition.
Yeah.
tanya (06:36):
Exactly.
But, like, she's obsessed with,like, 70s culture and she's also
kind of goes through, like, youknow, a series of one night
stands that she keeps track ofin her diary and then we learn
that she's kind of afraid she'sgetting tested at a clinic
because she might have, like,AIDS.
That was kind of You know, at ahigh point at that time, like
that fear
both (06:55):
called Laney, there's probably the chance of
Connection
Erin (06:58):
chance of vulnerability yeah Which is so ironic because
I think in
tanya (07:03):
the front group, they all kind of are striving for this
feeling of like, authenticity,what's my like, meaning in life,
but they really struggle withmaking connections with people
and I think that's kind of a, abig part of some of the, the,
the struggle in this movie andkind of finding your identity
and realizing that it's okay to,you know, like someone who is in
(07:25):
a corporate job or even want tobe paid
both (07:27):
it's okay that, you know, you're, you're not a sell out.
It's a, you know, it's.
You know, It's a weird balance,but now, Now that I'm older, you
know, like I feel like, I feellike I, it's like almost full
circle.
So now I'm, you know, like doingtherapy, doing it at home.
I'm able to do stuff I like,plus have fun in between.
So I'm like, Hey, when I'm notseeing clients, I can go outside
(07:49):
or go in the garden or do stuff,you know, like do whatever I
want.
You know, like it's like, I'llhave, I'll have a boss right
over my shoulder or telling mewhat to do.
So it's kind of like full circle
Erin (07:59):
for me.
Yeah.
I think that a lot of
tanya (08:01):
people in, and, and not, of course, not just Gen X, but
like, I think this is justcapturing that, that struggle of
we don't want to embrace the,you know, our parents baby
boomer generation who went frombeing hippies, flower children
to like corporate yuppies kindof thing.
And we don't want to bematerialistic, like, you know,
all the eighties kind of, youknow, that they experienced
(08:23):
growing up and they were, youknow, probably trying to go
against that.
But at the same point.
You can't go so far idealisticwhere you're not caring about,
you know, actual survival andthings like that.
And it was, it was kind ofinteresting where, you know,
Lainey was saying, I just wantedto, you know, it meant something
to me, this document thisdocument, this documentary
documentary.
(08:43):
I can't speak today.
Sorry, there's a, there's athere's a, there's a podcaster
who says documentary and I, Istarted saying that because I've
heard her say it so many times,but documentary
Erin (08:54):
yeah,
tanya (08:55):
like her, her, you know, which ends up starting to date
the, the corporate guy, Michael.
And he decides to hand it overto his corporate company, they,
they really make a mess of it,they cut it up and they make it
all like real world and allthat, that stuff, like the MTV
kind of like.
And they're, they're misquoting,they're cutting out things,
like, cutting the things andsaying, the meaning of life is
(09:16):
pizza, pizza, and it's just likemaking a mockery of all the
things that she wanted to show.
Erin (09:22):
Yeah,
tanya (09:23):
it was kind of nostalgic because, you know, you kind of
saw the way even in that clipwhere Lainey's watching TV and
it's, like, MTV fashion, andit's like, yeah, it's like the,
the bandana for Crips andBloods, Donna Karan, only 75,
which was, Like an insane amountof money at that point for like,
just a little, a scarf andthey're having like, you know,
they're kind of glorifying, youknow, hip hop, gangster culture
(09:45):
it's ridiculous because itreally was like that, it truly
was, it was, there really wasthat era of like, it just went
insane, you know, and not likewe don't do it now with other
things, but that was that wasfor that period of time.
But, yeah, I, I think that thisis really about kind of fighting
against some of these.
You know, perceived mistakes,barriers, whatever it is that of
(10:05):
of the generation before them.
And finding, you know, theiridentity, Laney, trying to
figure out which partner isbetter suited for her, which,
Erin (10:13):
yeah,
both (10:13):
I don't know why she had to choose either I'm like
wishing, like, why can't, whycan't there be a third option
for Laney?
Yeah, like, what if Laneydecided not to date anybody?
And just decided to figure outhow can I get my movie to PBS or
how can I do what she originallywanted to do?
Instead of having a guy Part ofit that would have been even
better like then that would havebeen like a hey reality can be
(10:34):
You get to not be stuck witheither of these
Erin (10:36):
guys Yeah.
Or like your, your path is notbased on,
tanya (10:40):
you know, what, what person you're dating.
And I feel like in that era,that was kind of always how
women were portrayed was like,Oh, okay.
They're, they're, you know,independent and they're, they're
free and they kind of have tofight some, some things in the,
you know, patriarchy.
Like, she's kind of like tellingher dad in the beginning, like,
don't treat mom like a child andI don't want your, your BMW or
(11:01):
she doesn't want your BMW kindof thing.
But at the same point, yeah.
That era and before,
both (11:05):
which,
tanya (11:06):
like, for sure, it's nice
both (11:07):
that in movies today, we're not seeing that as much.
I mean, because I, I loveDelaney.
I, I love who she was and Iliked her style and I just
thought she was just reallycool.
And, yeah.
Even like giving Michael a shotand like that one, one part
where she has that white dresson and she's so excited she got
this.
It's not usually her style, butshe's stepping out and she's
(11:28):
trying something new and she's,and she thinks it's pretty and
then Troy is just like, ugh, youlook like you're wearing a
doily.
Which is like, you know, It's somean and it's just like, instead
of just being like, oh,
Erin (11:39):
that's nice or have fun.
Yeah, he's a doily.
That's so mean.
He's going
both (11:44):
to say something, but you wonder like what is going on
with Lainey's like self esteem,self worth, you know, like what,
you know, at that moment thatshe, you know, cuz even like
with, yeah, Troy's like sayingthat she's like, Oh, well, I'm
gonna go change.
And then Michael's like, no, youlook beautiful, you know, and
he's like thinking like, I'm theone dating you.
(12:04):
Why do you care what he'ssaying?
Why do you care why is Troygetting in your head?
You know, like, let's go, youlook really nice.
And it
Erin (12:11):
took her a moment.
Yeah Troy's like, no, don't gothinking for yourself.
tanya (12:15):
You know, like, he's, he's really a jerk.
He really is.
I hated that.
I was so like, oh, well, like,when she stepped out, I was
like, she looks cute, you know,and like, she's got like the red
lipstick and she's like thislittle, you know, the little
waif gal, you know, and she'sgot a pretty face and you know,
she just looked nice.
It just was like, different fromkind of the, the grunge kind of
wear that she normally like, youknow, had on, but, I thought I
(12:37):
was like, oh, wow, she looksnice.
And then, yeah, it just kind ofsunk that moment.
And I don't know.
I think we were talking aboutthis earlier, but I think Troy,
the character would haveappealed to me when I was
younger, but.
I think Michael, like, if therewere a choice between the two, I
think Michael would now appealto me more because he's not
sleeping on someone's couch.
both (12:57):
By all means, he seems to be a pretty
tanya (12:59):
decent guy.
in like a corporate job, he's
Erin (13:01):
not.
He's not rude
tanya (13:02):
I mean, he seems to care though, too.
Like, he lets her go, like, youknow, for the insurance thing.
He's like, you just, you seemnice and like, yeah, he probably
likes her, but still, I mean,he's.
He's not like, trying to goafter money anywhere.
He can see it.
He's not like litigious and a,you know, jerk like that.
both (13:17):
especially if you're comparing the 2 of them.
It's, you know, like, he, yeah,he does seem like he's.
He can be sweet, but yeah,there's also something about him
that doesn't appeal to Lainey.
Like, you know, like, maybe he'snot as edgy as she has always
dated, or maybe that's somethingthat she's afraid to look
inward, because maybe that'swhat she really wants.
(13:39):
Maybe she wants somebody who hasmoney, who's financially secure,
or
Erin (13:43):
already
both (13:43):
in
Erin (13:44):
their career.
Yeah, and I,
tanya (13:46):
I think there's just not the same, like, physical
attraction and just, like, kindof, like, connection that she
has with Troy, you know, like,she just is kind of, they're,
they're kind of similar andthey're thinking they just kind
of have that thing, you know,that, I don't know, you just
kind of feel in someone else I'mtrying to picture now, like,
say, okay, and this is soridiculous, but I did try to
(14:06):
project into the future withthis movie.
And these fictional characters,and I was like, say they ended
up together, right?
Troy and Laney, what does he endup doing?
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like, she, she seems like shewould continue to pursue her
documentaries, like, kind ofmedia pursuits, you know, maybe
have moved into, like, socialmedia type stuff, digital media,
whatever.
I feel like that would be asafe, safe bet with her.
(14:27):
She seemed pretty driven.
She was connected to that.
But with Troy, I mean, like,does he still want to go after
being in the In a band and likekind of half assing it, like
just kind of, or is he on
both (14:38):
the Lazy Boy drinking a beer?
I don't know, pick up and kindof
tanya (14:41):
do something and then get into like a very rigid and work
ethic and then kind of throwhimself into the world, sort of,
that's what I kind of picturewith him, 20
both (14:48):
years later,
Erin (14:49):
I know, that's what I picture.
Yeah, that's kind
tanya (14:51):
of more what I lean towards, but I, I do know, I
mean, some people can pick it upand be like, okay, and
both (14:58):
they just kind of hang out after he finishes his morning or
whatever.
It doesn't seem like they have agreat relationship, but does
that make him realize like,okay, well, maybe I need to
figure out who I want to be and,you know, get a
Erin (15:10):
or get a trade or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It could have been like
tanya (15:14):
the, the catalyst to kind of give him like the kick in the
pants, you know, to be like, allright, get going.
And I think that's kind of the,the, one of the themes of this
movie is like, what is it thatkind of makes you come to
realize that, you know, yeah, nomatter what you have to be.
In reality, no matter how youkind of deal with it, is that
you get a job where you're justlike, oh, I'm just not going to
try so that I don't have to
both (15:36):
live in that kind of
tanya (15:37):
world,
both (15:38):
you know, where everything is about competing, or is it
kind of like, do I go corporateand go see my full potential?
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, you know, the counties orwhatever, who like after high
school or after, you know, like,or whatever, just kind of get
stuck.
They're just.
You know, time doesn't, youknow, like just kind of stopped
(15:58):
with whatever age they were, youknow, like 18, 19, they're still
probably wearing the same typeof clothes, listening to the
same music, living in theirparents basement, or whatever
they're doing, and it's probablystill smoking pot all day, and
it's just, it's just like what,you know, you wonder what
happened, or why did they decideto just stay, what, what made
(16:21):
them Not progressed toadulthood, you know, and that's
probably probably like with TroyIt's like he he didn't move out,
but he's just kind of likefloating He's like living on
people's couches and doing thisand just not really making that
full commitment past high schoolbecause you and I talked before
I was gonna say session beforeour podcast that That, you know,
(16:44):
like at their age, high schoolwas just a few years before, I
know they just graduated fromcollege, but just like four or
five years before that, theywere just high schoolers.
So, and it sounds like Troy isstill like stuck in between and
a lot of people get stuck inbetween.
And sometimes people don't havethat push to real either realize
that they are stuck because theyhave other people in their life
(17:07):
that keep supporting them,family members or other people,
friends or other people.
That they really have noincentive to
Erin (17:14):
Fully become adults.
Yeah, that's a really goodpoint.
Yeah, and I I think
tanya (17:19):
with Troy he he's like I mean He's known to be very
intellectual but to not to bekind of Against the system,
like, kind of, kind ofantisocial in that, in that
regard, you know, like, kind of,I'm not going to follow the
prescribed path of, you know,that society gives to me.
But I think what you're saying,yeah, at the end, you do see
them kind of change a littlebit.
(17:40):
And who knows, you know, if thiswas just a temporary thing, or
if this actually did, you know,can definitely give someone a,
you know, fresh set of eyes tobe like.
Wait a minute, what the heck amI doing here?
We don't have that long and.
You know, I didn't even get, hedidn't even know his dad too
well, right, because we learnedthat in the movie and yeah, it
may kind of be like, you know,I, I may as well give what it is
(18:03):
I have.
It doesn't matter if this lookslike.
You know, it's inauthentic orit's not helping the world and
this and that.
It does, it doesn't matter.
both (18:11):
then, then he came back and he realized like, oh, well,
I really do to be with Lainey.
I don't want to just datearound.
And, then you see Laney's with,you know, definitely with the
figuring out.
Okay.
Well, I want to work.
I definitely do want to have mydog.
Oh, my God.
Now I can't say the worddocumentary.
Erin (18:29):
Oh, my God.
I hate you.
both (18:31):
Yeah, but the documentary that she had, that now she
realizes, like, this is what Iwant, I want to have the screen,
I want I really want to seethis.
It's a weird way to say that.
Sammy is when he comes out withhis parents, comes out to his
family.
So it's really hard and trying.
And, you know, so that, that isreally his, you know, probably
(18:54):
his big reality thing.
And with Vicki, I think it's, Ithink it's twofold for her.
I think it's when she gets her,uh, management for GAP, because
that's huge.
Because, and then she realizes,this is my career, I want to, I,
I, Really love this.
I'm so proud of myself and Ireally want, this is what I want
to do.
I want to be a manager of GAPand I want to do and work in
(19:16):
retail.
And also I think getting thenegative test from when she got
the AIDS test.
I think those were two bigthings because then that might
have made her realize like, oh,maybe I should be more conscious
of who I'm sleeping with orwhat, what I'm doing or who,
what safety I'm putting inplace.
So I do think each character,each of those four main
(19:38):
characters probably do have,like, it's not like they're not
saying like reality bites likeeach time, but I think they are
having different points ofadulthood
Erin (19:47):
and reality come in.
Yeah, that's an interestingperspective.
I didn't
tanya (19:51):
I didn't think of it that way, but that is a really good
perspective.
I think you're right.
I think that really is kind ofwhere, like, they have those
like transition into, like, Idon't want to say transition
into adulthood, but kind of likewhere they kind of realized,
hey, this is what I need to takeon.
I don't have to be unhappy aboutit and yeah, I have to accept
some like prescribed rules andlike norms and you know, stuff
(20:14):
like that of society, but itdoesn't mean that I'm fully
compromised.
I can still be who I want to be,you know, Vicki can can still
be, you know, kind of her quirkyself and I think she's, I think
she's hilarious and Lainey canstill, you know, be getting
great Transcribed footage of, ofher, her friends and kind of
the, this, you know, thestruggle that she's capturing of
(20:36):
that generation and findingtheir identity and who they are
after college.
And you know, with Troy, Troykind of, Troy finds it at the
very end, so we don't reallyknow, but I'm sure, I mean,
hopefully, I guess we're, Hopingmaybe that that kind of was a,
a, you know, change for him andSammy, of course, you're hoping
will come.
(20:56):
I like, I like Sammy sensesbecause he is, he's, he's a
good,
both (20:59):
like, he's like the
tanya (21:01):
just ridiculous because like the friend that you don't
really, they don't
both (21:04):
really highlight a lot in that.
But he's like, always there.
And he's like the cheerleader
Erin (21:09):
friend.
Yeah, yeah, he really is.
Like, he was so
tanya (21:12):
happy when Vicki got her, her negative test result.
He was just like, Oh, my gosh.
And he was like, always there.
And so I, yeah, he, yeah, thatyou
both (21:19):
would know
tanya (21:20):
that you would notice if they weren't part of the one of
those, yeah, like a cornerstonefriends that, like, maybe is
kind of, kind of in thebackground, but is actually like
a really, yeah.
Great friend that you wouldreally, really miss.
Yeah.
both (21:32):
And that's sad.
And it's sad that that happensor happened a lot back then and
probably still happens today.
It's so sad when he's sittingout in front of
tanya (21:38):
his parents house and he's like, I just want to go
home.
Erin (21:40):
Like, I
tanya (21:40):
just
Erin (21:40):
want
tanya (21:40):
to be able to be let
Erin (21:41):
back inside the house.
You know, like, yeah, that, thathonestly, like, it,
tanya (21:46):
used to feel.
Yeah, they're your children.
I mean, I still do, of course,but like, you know, it, it, it
was a huge, Yeah.
point of like empathy for me.
I just, I, I used to feel solike, I just don't, I just don't
get it.
And like, oh my gosh, thesepeople, they feel, yes, what,
why would you do that to yourkid?
And I still don't get it.
But I feel like, yeah, that was,those were big things.
I think back in that movie notthat again, not that it's not,
(22:08):
but I think it was in adifferent stage you know, kind
of accepting if somebody was,yeah, that was in
both (22:14):
hate
tanya (22:14):
of
both (22:14):
it
tanya (22:14):
too, you know, was, was not.
Heterosexual, uh, but, you know,and then also the, the
Erin (22:20):
AIDS, epidemic was still in pretty full swing.
yeah, I actually just saw
tanya (22:25):
something, it's, this is so weird, but this is before we
even were going to watch this,what we're planning to watch
this movie, but I saw somethingthat I think I posted on
Instagram that was like, therewas this camp for kids that was
established like, I don't know,30 years ago or something, or
maybe in the 80s.
Maybe 40 years ago in the 80s.
But, that was for, for kids whohad HIV and or AIDS and Yeah, I
(22:47):
saw you post that.
I thought that was great.
I had such a, you know, that'slike
both (22:51):
what you, they probably wanted, like when they opened
the camp, they said, theyprobably, you know, like how a
lot of, enough people, like,okay, we're here until we're not
needed anymore.
But they, they never realizedthat it's gonna really actually
come to fruition.
So that's really awesome.
That's
Erin (23:06):
great yeah, that's like one of those things you want to
hear that they, they're
tanya (23:09):
out of business.
Yeah, yeah, that's, that'sreally great.
Yeah.
And, and so, I mean, you know,it just kind of shows the, the
difference in the, in the timeperiod, right?
The things that were really, youknow, at the height, I don't
really know what it may be likeCOVID thinking about that, but
that's not quite the same.
I don't know, but, verydifferent, I think, you know,
where we're at in the timelineswith those things.
(23:30):
But still, obviously,difficulties with those things.
But, yeah, I, I do think it, itwas, you know, and oh, my God,
Ethan Hawke and his green eyes.
He, he was, he was very cute.
Erin (23:42):
He was very cute.
tanya (23:43):
I don't know, I had a huge crush on him.
I know he kind of disappeared,sort of, like, he had, he had a
few more things and he kind ofdisappeared,
Erin (23:49):
but I liked him, man.
He was a cutie, Yeah, he was acutie.
But I just, I,
tanya (23:53):
I think this movie is, I, I hadn't watched it in a while.
I probably watched it probablyin maybe the early 2000s was the
last time, maybe late 90s, Idon't know.
But re watching it again wasinteresting.
I, I forgot.
about a lot of
Erin (24:08):
it and it was just a different perspective.
They're all young.
It's so, it's
tanya (24:13):
so nuts to see them, you know, this was like 30 years
ago, and they were in their 20s,so, yeah, it's, it's just really
different.
And then the fact that Andy Dickis in there, we didn't know
that, and Renee Zellweger, justvery small, small appearances,
but like, they were.
David Spade, yeah, yeah.
Oh my gosh.
David, David Pirner from SoulAsylum.
Erin (24:32):
Yeah, so I think it was just nice to, this is a
tanya (24:35):
movie that if you're into like Gen X ers, if you just like
the point of it, if you're justkind of curious, if you like the
actors or the actresses, justgo, go check it out.
You know, we, we like it being,uh, you know, basically Gen X
ers.
I'm, I'm kind of on the cusp,but.
Basically, and and, you know, Ithink it really is just, it, it
really tells you a lot about howmuch things have evolved and how
(24:58):
much they have not.
It's kind of the same.
Same thing I was thinking, youknow, while watching it, I was
like, wow, I've definitely heardpeople who are.
In this latest generation, orjust younger people saying, you
know, some of these things thatthat they're talking about in
the movie that are worries andstruggles and
Erin (25:13):
everything just maybe with different language.
tanya (25:15):
let's uh, let's close it out and, you know, we hope you
enjoyed this, let us know whatyou think, let us know if you
want to watch it, or if you havewatched it, or if you watch it
again, and if that kind ofchanged your perspective the way
it did with both of us,
But don't forget, stay wickedand keep your mind well.
All right.
Have a great week and we'll talkto you soon.
(25:37):
Bye bye.
Bye guys.
Thanks so much for listeningtoday to the Wicked
Psychotherapist podcast.
Be sure to like and follow us onApple, Spotify, and Amazon, or
wherever else you listen to yourpodcasts.
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