The Constitution of Will You Survive

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Step into the inner workings of "Will You Survive the Podcast" as we take a break from our usual movie survival analysis to establish our official podcast constitution. Like Washington, Madison, and the other founding fathers before us, we're creating a framework of bylaws that will govern our survival discussions and competitions moving forward.

Our newly ratified constitution introduces the Grand Survival Ranking System, creating season-long consequences for our weekly competitions. The winner of each episode earns three season points and the honor of hosting the next episode, while second place gets one consolation point. But beware—hosts wield significant power, including the ability to deduct points for "especially terrible survival decisions" (The Darwin Award Deduction) or "exceptionally unruly behavior."

We've built in protection against tyranny with the Survival Dictator Clause, which allows co-hosts to veto a host's power if they make a survival claim so absurd it can't be tolerated. And for those falling hopelessly behind, there's the dramatic Scorched Earth Protocol—allowing desperate contestants to declare "If I can't survive, no one can!" and attempt a last-ditch effort to overturn rulings or challenge others to survival duels.

The stakes are real: the season winner gets to choose the movie for our first episode of the next season, while the ultimate loser must bear the title "First to Die" throughout the following season. It's democracy and entertainment wrapped in one ridiculous package—just how we like it.

Ready to hear what happens when three survival enthusiasts create their own system of government? Subscribe now and check out our socials at @WillYouSurviveThePodcast to join the constitutional convention!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Hello survivors and welcome to another episode of
Will you Survive.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
The Podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Normally this is a podcast where we would watch a
movie and then afterwardsdiscuss the survivability of the
movie, whether we think wewould survive the movie and then
whether we think the movie'seven, you know, logical, if it
even makes sense, and then we'llalso discuss different survival
tactics or techniques.

(00:52):
But all of that is out thewindow today.
Today's a very special episode.
I am actually giving up.
I'm like our founding father,I'm like George Washington.
I am being the first, I amgiving up potential points today
to enact a WYS constitution,and this is going to be a list
of bylaws that we will run by,and this is totally not at all

(01:14):
inspired by Distractable and thevery, very recent council
episode that they did.
I promise you, this was alreadyin the works beforehand.
What even is Distractable?
I don't even know.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
I don't really know, I don't know, I don't really
listen to it.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
So welcome to unwatchable.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Well, that works because we are a podcast.
So to start off one, doesanybody have any objection to us
having a constitution or bylaws?

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Hi, I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Michael.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
C Jordan.
As a matter of fact, not onlyis oh yeah, yeah, wait, no,
sorry, hang on.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah, no, my co-host.
Hey, I'm Eric.
By the way, I'm the host today.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
No, no, you're George Washington, I'm James Madison.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
I'm Michael C.
Jordan B was taken.
You, you know so.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
So I think, if we're going all the way back, Jordan's
great, great, great grandfatherI think we're going all the way
back in time like that.
We need to mute his mic, ohain't nobody going to let him
talk.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
We played three of every five words.
That would be so funny oh myGod, that was funny.
Oh, that'd be so fucked.
Um, well, god, that was funny.
Oh, that would be so fucked.
Well, yes, I'm Eric.
I'm joined, aka GeorgeWashington.
I'm joined by my two co-hosts,alex I'm Alex and TJ, 40 acres
and a mule.
I almost called him Eric.
Well, I unfortunately don'thave anything about segregation,

(02:42):
slavery, anything of thatnature I got you covered there.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
Okay, it's already legal in the podcast
constitution I got.
I got some bylaws.
I gotta read right off the bathere he's actually 100 right.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
He's not even joking.
I think you missed the joke.
What he said, it's totallylegal there in california.
Remember how california on therecent ballot was like let's ban
slavery, and cal California waslike no, no.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
It's like there was more context.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
But yeah, it was more like indentured servitude for
bad behavior.
But like not today, I like theidea that California voted no on
getting rid of slavery.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
That's very funny Well host, if it please, I'll
get through the serious stuffreal quick.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Sure the things I think we absolutely need.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
These are legal.
Okay, all right, so number onename of the podcast Will you
survive?
The podcast, aka the boys atWIS.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
Will you survive?
Dot dot dot the podcast.
I must make an amendment.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Are you being that serious?
Well, is that not what's on thepaperwork we're going to?
We're going to add that to knowwhat's what's on, everything is
just.
Will you survive the podcast?

Speaker 2 (03:46):
Oh, then we should do that on Spotify.
It's dot, dot, dot and.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
I think that's what matters actually.
Yes, tj, I agree with you.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
Do I get a point?

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Okay, yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
Yeah, you can get.
I thought for a second you weremaking sound effects, oh no
Worse, I'm genuinely doingsomething.
Oh, number two purpose of thepodcast.
The purpose of Will you Survivethe Podcast is to engage in
discussions around survivalstrategies in pop culture,
history and real-worldsituations, providing listeners
with both entertainment andinformative insight.
Yeah, I agree.

(04:20):
Number three ownership andintellectual property.
The intellectual propertyrights for Will you Survive the
Podcast, including name, logoand all episodes produced, are
owned by Will you Survive thePodcast.
Okay, do we make a cart to runon every episode.
You know, we probably should,just so that we wouldn't have to
read all of the freakingsocials, or I wouldn't have to
read all of the socials.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
No, but you do it so well, shut up, you do it so well
.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
I want to put that in the Constitution, that you
always do it Shut up, no, no,unless I get points for it.
We'll discuss veto powers,Roles and responsibilities of
hosts.
The hosts are responsible forcreating content, scheduling
episodes, conducting interviews,which we haven't done yet but
we do want to do right.
Sure, I'm down Ensuring thepodcast is produced and released

(05:02):
regularly.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Now, what do we mean by regularly?
Every Friday at 7 am, so youshould go check it out on
Spotify and Apple Podcasts orwherever you listen to your
podcasts, that's right, I justwanted to throw that in there.
Okay, go on.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
Brand new episode today.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Each host will contribute equally, unless
otherwise discussed.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Guys, I want to put in 1%, but I want to get 33.
Let's discuss.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
Oh Well, 33, let's discuss.
Oh well, let's.
Let's discuss after I getthrough all the okay, okay, the
legal jargon.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
What does that?

Speaker 3 (05:33):
say, alex is bald.
You're not allowed to say that.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
The bylaws say so and we haven't agreed any.
Nothing's been signed into lawyet.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
I have 34 bylaws is that at least one host has to be
bald at one time.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
There can't be, more than one or less than one, but
if Alex ever grows out his hair,that's going to fall on you, TJ
.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
Oh yeah, Then you're next.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Nuh-uh, I got locks of hair.
I got more hair than Eric.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
There is no way you're going to, there's
literally 0% chance.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
That I have more hair than you do.
Do you know what shrinkage is?

Speaker 3 (06:05):
whitey, we know what to do.
You do not have time to cutthat.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
It's time to I have more hair than you, it goes time
to cut that mop it keeps going,it keeps going I see nothing it
keeps going I see nothing.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
It's out, I got, I got nothing thick ass, mexican
hair I have thick ass,african-american hair sir one of
my strands of hair isequivalent to like three of
yours.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Okay, but size is not the thing here.
These bitches are logs.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
These are logs coming out of my head.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
It's the luxuriousness, okay, all right,
all right, we'll get back ontohair, since I have none
Editorial control.
Final editorial control restswith the primary host or
producer.
All episode topics, guests andmajor changes to the format must
be approved by the primary hostslash producer Okay yeah,
scheduling frequency andepisodes.
Every episode will be scheduledto be released Friday at 7 am.

(06:55):
Tj is responsible for ensuringthat episodes are recorded and
released according to thisschedule.
It falls all on TJ.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
Good luck getting me on a recording session now, tj,
huh, I'm not showing up.

Speaker 3 (07:08):
Now, guys, this is the part that you're not going
to like.
If you think that's the case,uh-oh, financial management and
revenue Shit.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Eric's bank account is Routing number 1-0-0-0.
Wait a minute, that one soundsfamiliar.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
Revenue generated through sponsorships,
advertisements, merchandisesales, etc.
Will be split.
However, all proceeds will goback to the podcast until we
begin turning a profit.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
I was going to say until further discussed or until
otherwise discussed, we'll saythat then, until.
If the sign is, are you goingto fax it to me or what?
Well, I mean I figure we werewas going to say until further
discussed or until otherwisediscussed.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
We'll say that then.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
Are you?

Speaker 2 (07:46):
going to fax it to me ?

Speaker 1 (07:48):
I mean, I figured, we were just going to Are we going
to fax it to you.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
No, I'm going to lick a stamp and mail it to you.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
What is this?
The 20th century.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
I was just going to hold up the computer screen and
let you see it you didn't evenpage me before we started
recording.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
I was going to send you.
I was going to print it out andsend it to you, but it was
going to be missing.
Every fourth and fifth line.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
You got to carry your pigeon on your head.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Now we have conflict resolution.
In the event of a disputebetween the hosts, a mediator
will be selected.
Now, I think this is legit.
Okay, we could select amediator from outside of the
three of us, but that onlyoccurs if we don't get a
majority vote.
If there's some manner in whichall three of us have our own
opinion that do not align witheach other, which I think will

(08:33):
be rare.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Okay, yeah, so, but if two of us agree on, one.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
Two of us agree, that's two thirds.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
I would like to say so.
This is not something I have inthe constitution at the moment,
but I think it should be addedthat when it comes to disputes
or or in the constitution at themoment, but I think it should
be added that when it comes todisputes or or in the name of
fairness, the host should trytheir best to put aside all
prejudices from the currentepisode.
Like, let's say, you've beenfavoring one person, but
somebody is enacting a part ofthe constitution.

(08:58):
It should be the host'sresponsibility to put aside all
biases and prejudices from thatepisode and be as fair as
possible in honor of theconstitution so that means you
and tj have to stop thishandshake bullshit you got going
on.
There is no fucking shot.
You're going to accuse me ofthat both of you.
No, I know what's happeningaround here I am the most
innocent of the hands, I thinkwe need to agree that, yes,

(09:20):
there should be no biases orlike pre like conceptions.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
before you head into the podcast, however, all points
given must be not only fair,but also uncalculated and
bullshit.
They have to be.
They have to be.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
Okay, okay, here, here's here I need.
I need to make a compromisehere.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
And there's, there's no.
You can get points out foranything.
Well, I don't.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
I don't mind any of that.
Now, here's what I will say nohandshake deals unless the
podcast is already beingrecorded okay, so no preemptive
handshake deals.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, okay, so what?

Speaker 3 (09:54):
that means is we get in here, we start recording,
somebody leaves the room yeah,so all handshake deals must be
activated upon the disappearanceof another.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
Well, not necessarily .
I suppose a handshake could bedone blatantly in front of
another.
Yeah, but it would be.
But why would you do that?
Yeah, no, I think you wouldn'tdo it.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
I think it has to be by unanimous vote of all parties
in the recording in the booth.
Unanimous vote by all partiesin the booth For a handshake
deal?

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, aren't handshake deals notoriously
against one of the competitors?

Speaker 3 (10:31):
Yes, so that means we're in here, we're recording,
you get up and you leave.
Tj and I are the only people inthe booth.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
Oh, you're right, we can make a unanimous consent.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
All handshakes must be made during the recording of
the episode Handshakes must bemade Like check this out During
this motherfucker left therecording I did not leave it Of
the episode.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
It is conducted.

Speaker 3 (10:50):
This motherfucker green screened himself.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
All handshakes must be made during the recording of
the episode it is conducted inand it must be by unanimous vote
, by unanimous vote of those inda boof, da boof.
Okay, the handshake clause.
All handshakes must be madeduring the recording of the
episode it is conducted in, byunanimous vote of those in da
boof.
That's it.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
Okay, now I do need to pause for one second.

Speaker 1 (11:14):
It's a nice run-on sentence, just like the
Constitution.
It's 12 o'clock.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Happy birthday Josh.
Happy birthday Josh.
Happy birthday Jeezy.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
Thank you for birthday josh.
Happy birthday, cheesy.
Uh, the birthday law all hostsmust tell josh happy birthday on
his birthday and the donuts onthose.
I like that okay, do you?

Speaker 3 (11:32):
uh, you have more legal jargon.
Let me see, let me make sure.
Uh, yeah, okay, so, oh, the theconflict resolution was if we
all three can't come up with a,an amicable decision, we have to
get some, a third party fromoutside of the podcast.
Now I suggest we can use eitherum tj's wife or her in, or a
member from the audience, or amember from the audience okay, I

(11:52):
mean they can't be from in thebooth I'm okay with that well
they can't be.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
I mean what if you guys both agree that I am
unbiased about the decision?
Like what if you both say likeokay, yeah, you can mediate this
, you, you seem well, that wouldbe.

Speaker 3 (12:04):
That would be.
If we all three can unanimouslyagree on something, then it's
not a conflict but it wouldn'tbe well, let's well.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
No, what if you two disagree?
But you guys are like well,well, I guess then that's just a
normal.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah, that's nothing if we all unanimously agree that
you could be unbiased, or thattj could be unbiased or me, then
we can all agree to that andsay, okay, now oversee this and
we agree, whatever your decisionis, it's going to be it.
But then if we can't, agree onanything.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
The three of us all disagree.
How do we get to a decision?

Speaker 3 (12:31):
that's where we say, okay, we're gonna call in a
third party okay so maddiemaddie is my maddie and corinne
are my proposals, the and thenif they're not available, then
we can call in josh theconsultant.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Josh will be the consultant if no other parties
are available.

Speaker 1 (12:45):
The consultant provision In the event that all
hosts disagree.

Speaker 3 (12:50):
Well, you know what?

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Let's do this.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
By statistical probability, let's put Josh
first, because he's here moreoften than either Corinne or
Maddie.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
True the consultant provision.
In the event that all hostsdisagree, an unbiased third
party may be brought in tomediate a resolution.
Yes, cool Okay.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Anything else.
I've got a couple more here.
Let me make sure I get through.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Now hang on.
These are unconfirmed.
We haven't eyed these, but Ifigured we could just do this
all in one big swoop if we allagree on these.

Speaker 3 (13:24):
No, I think these are going to be easily agreed upon.
But that was conflictresolution.
Changes to the format or bylaws.
Any changes to the format ofthe podcast or these bylaws must
be agreed upon by all hosts.
Amendments will be discussed ina formal meeting and put into
writing.
Termination and exit strategy.
If a host wishes to leave thepodcast, they must give what do
you guys think Two weeks notice.
Two weeks notice.
They must give their life.

(13:44):
Hey, tj, you gotta give yourlife Alright if the podcast
needs to be, terminated.

Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yeah, you're out of here.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
This is in writing.
I'm sorry I didn't make this up.
This hasn't been voted on.
Tj, Don't worry.
If the podcast needs to beterminated, all hosts will meet
to discuss the logistics andproper closure of the show.
I think that makes sense.
Disclaimers and legalconsiderations.
Now this is for everybody.
This probably should be a cartthat would go on the end of
every episode.

(14:11):
Will you Survive?
The podcast is intended forentertainment purposes only.
The hosts are not experts inthe field of survival and all
advice shared on the podcastshould be taken with caution.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
The podcast is not responsible for any actions
taken by listeners based on thecontent line, so your discretion

(14:41):
is advised.

Speaker 3 (14:42):
Basically, did I mean um, did you catch it?
If you want me to read it again, do you want to clap?

Speaker 2 (14:47):
and then I mean, I'll read it again you spoke it into
the mic so I can just grab itlater all right cool um, I think
that it should be in the bylawsthat if you are to send the
host, tj motherfucking jackson,one thousand dollars, he will
get your name, his name,tattooed on him.
That's all I'm saying.
It needs to be in the bylaws.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
We want to put that in the bylaw, but I don't think
that's a bylaw because, neitherEric or I are going to be giving
you $1,000.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
We're also not disputing that.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
You could.
Yeah, but we're also notdisputing this at all.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
No, we're encouraging this.

Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah, we want this.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
We want somebody to pay you a thousand dollars and
you get their name tattooed onyour body somewhere.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
That is best case that is so such good marketing
funds on the side.
Okay, congress, all right twomore now there's this really
cool jellyfish and I would loveto study its mating practices.
Can you give me 13 milliondollars?

Speaker 2 (15:46):
13 million 10 cents per episode goes into the tattoo
fund holy moly, we would goforever.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
We would never.
We would never make that allright.
Confidentiality andnon-disclosure agreements, if
necessary.
Hosts and contributors arerequired to maintain
confidentiality regarding anyunpublished content and business
related discussions unlessprior consent is given.
That's basic, and then approvaland adoption of bylaws.
Now we'll, we'll do, maybe I'llwait until you're done and then
we'll go through, but basicallyall we got to say is these

(16:15):
bylaws are adopted on we'll sayit on on the podcast, um, and
are subject to revisions andupdates as deemed necessary by
the hosts.
Sure um that.
I would say that's all theserious stuff, now let's get
into the ultra serious stuff.

Speaker 2 (16:28):
If a fan gets our logo tattooed on them, I think
that automatically gets them aspot in the episode for an
interview.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
I don't know if we want to encourage that.
If I'm being honest.
I don't think we want to beresponsible for encouraging
someone to get a permanent thingon their body, the.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
I will get the logo tattooed on me, just showing a
true fan.
You know, I feel like you knowthat dedication needs to be hey,
I mean, if they, if they want.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
If I think I agree with you.
If they want to do it, if ourlogo is that cool and they want
to do it, uh, we will definitelylet them come on the podcast
now but that is not a guaranteefor anybody else that you will
get on the podcast that is true,tattooing our logo on your body
, and we we do need proof oftattoo that it's not henna yeah,
oh yeah, yeah, yeah, nottemporary, this needs to be

(17:13):
permanent I was gonna say hentaiI caught you.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
If you get a, will you survive?

Speaker 1 (17:19):
hentai tattoo you become a host, but it needs to
accurately depict all three ofus.

Speaker 3 (17:29):
So it'll never happen .
Oh my god, josh, you don't knowwhat else.
This is good.
Gets the tattoo the next day.
The logo gets changed.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Yeah, I'm in charge of the logos.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Alright next logo, next person to get this one
tattooed, speaking of which?

Speaker 3 (17:46):
this particular logo that I have up on the screen
right now.
Is that full rights?
Will you survive?
The podcast has that.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
I mean we don't.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
we haven't trademarked anything, but but
I'm not going to have any anycopyright disputes when I use
that Right.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
That's all free shit I used.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
OK, so because I want to use.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Uh, I want to use.
I want to get stickers.
It falls under free use, I'mpretty sure, pretty cool.

Speaker 1 (18:09):
So I think I agree with everything you said,
although I do want to later putit in writing.
On the official document I gotit, um, but do we?
Just want to do a verbal vote,the three of us, sure, tj, okay,
ready.
Vote on three One, two, three,aye, aye.
All right, that's how we say itfrom now on.

(18:30):
I love it.
Aye, all right, I have a fewarticles.
I only want to get through four.
I have five.
I think the fifth one's dumb,if I'm being honest.
Okay, but article one, the lawof the land or, sorry, the law
of the wild, is what I had.
Oh, okay, title one this is thewe would totally survive clause
.
I love it, no matter how absurdthe survival scenario in the

(18:56):
movie.
At least one host must claimthey could survive it.
This is similar to Israel'srule that if nine chair people,
whatever they are, agree on onething, the 10th has to disagree.

Speaker 3 (19:06):
I like this I'm in.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
And then a part of this Title 2, I have the
handshake clause that allhandshakes must be made during
the recording of the episode.
It is conducted in by unanimousvote of Doze in Da Boof.
I love it.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
I put Da Book Da Boof and I like that you said by
Doze in Da Boof.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
I didn't mean to.
I wrote those on theConstitution.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
You said does.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
I said, does Number three or title three, the
consultant provision in theevent that all hosts disagree
and unbiased third party may bebrought into immediate
resolution?
Ok, ok, I'll vote on three, one, two, three, I Cool.
Article two this, this one'svery important to me, guys.
Okay.
So I'm not trying to split yourvote or anything, but say yes.

(19:48):
Article two the grand survivalranking system.
Nay, shut the fuck up.
Title one, the will you surviveleaderboard.
This will be a running seasonlong ranking which must be kept
to track each's survival prowessor lack thereof.
Essentially, this will be aseason-long scoring that will be

(20:09):
separate from the individualepisode scoring, so points
within the episode are given bythe host.
However, the host has authority, given by the constitution in
later titles and amendments, todeduct or add season points to
the contestants.
Does that make sense?
I think so.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
So if I'm hosting, I can add or take away points from
you from the season yes, aswell as the game yes.
So if I take away points andyou get to zero, I can start
deducting more points.
That would come off of theseason totals If the
Constitution allows.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Oh, I'm voting for that this is the only way we get
to keep TJ in line, thismotherfucker's unruly.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Hang on, hang on.
Yes, I agree with you.
You add provisions.

Speaker 2 (20:56):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
Hang on, hold on to that idea.
That's brilliant.
Title 2.
The ranking system.
I don't know if it's actuallyTitle 2.
What's under articles?

Speaker 3 (21:06):
It would be at this point.
We would probably be.
Your whole thing would bearticle two, mine was article
one, yours would be article two.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
And then this would be title two.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
Title two Okay, okay, okay, okay.
The ranking system At the endof each episode, points are
awarded as follows the winnergains plus three season points
and the honor of hosting thenext episode.
The second place or the losergets one point, so you always
get one point.
However, the host has zeropoints, so the host cannot gain
season points on their episode.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
So this goes to mind that the host can never win the
episode for himself.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
Essentially Number three bonus and penalty points.
Throughout the season,contestants may earn or lose
extra points based on thefollowing you could gain a plus
one survivalist bonus, given ifa host displays exceptional
survival reasoning, trivia orstrategy, and this could be
awarded by the host through theconstitution.
A minus one Darwin awarddeduction given if a host makes

(22:07):
an especially terrible survivaldecision or claim Okay, uh, a
plus two comeback kid award Ifsomeone wins an episode after
starting or after being at adead loss.
Um, that will be up to hostdiscretion, but you can consult
the constitution if you.
If you're challenged on that.
Tj, I love the idea of the whatwas the anti-yoink?

Speaker 2 (22:30):
Anti-yoink clause.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
The anti-yoink clause .
Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
You got to make it so there's like a limit to how
much season points a host canyoink from said party.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
That's a good point.
Where do we think?

Speaker 2 (22:48):
that limit lies um.
So what's the max season points?
Is it just like it goes uphowever much?

Speaker 3 (22:54):
I wouldn't go that high.
What I what I think we shouldprobably say is the max season
points you can take away in oneepisode is three points I agree,
because that's the max that youcan gain from winning the
episode Right, so I think threeis seems reasonable.
If TJ's acting really out ofcontrol, he loses three points
and even if he wins he comes outwith zero on the season, three

(23:16):
on the day.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
I would also like to add in the bonus points and
penalty points.
I would like to add a minus onefor uh exceptionally unruly
behavior and that uh, that wouldalso is that minus one for the
day, for the episode, or minusone for the season?
These are all season points.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
Okay, so these all apply to season points.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
So essentially it's so that uh, the host, if being
consistently interrupted ordistracted or disturbed or
fought against, can deduct aseason point for unruly behavior
citing the Constitution.

Speaker 3 (23:53):
I really, really like this because this is going to
play directly into my next, thenext time I win.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
Now TJ.
I know that seems directed atyou, but I feel like I am just
as guilty.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
I think there needs to be an antism clause A.
What An antism, no racism.
No autism.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
No, I can't guarantee that one.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
No sexism towards other parties of the cast Nope.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Nope, I'm not okay with that, unless you add ageism
.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
I veto it.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
I'm not okay with that, unless you add ageism.
I veto it.
I think there needs to be ananti little bitch.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
All right, moving on.

Speaker 3 (24:33):
You just undid everything, you just worked for.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
A host may not deduct more than three season points
from any well, uh, a house.
What a host.
A host may not deduct more thanthree season points from any
contestant in any one givenepisode.

(24:58):
I like to just word it in theworst way possible.
It feels more legit longestrun-on sentences ever.
It feels more legit that way.
The longest run on sentencesever.
It feels more legit that way,if I'm being honest.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
Like a legal document .

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yeah, you ever try to read a fucking legal document.
That shit sucks.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, I read them all the time.
Remember, I'm the guy who readsthe Barbary Legal Handbook for
fun.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
While we're sitting here, I have two zip ties just
chilling on my desk, so now I'mgonna try to break out of them.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
Okay, practice so under bonus and penalty points.
That's legit.

Speaker 3 (25:29):
I'll watch this.
Okay, wait, but are you byyourself Ready?
Yep, oh he did it.
I'm impressed and mildly turnedon.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
I feel like that should get a point.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
That's pretty good, oh yeah, you got a point.
All right, I'll give you apoint break I'll give you a
point.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
That's pretty cool.
I honestly I I I figured youwere gonna break it you earned a
tip but part of me was wasthinking just how funny it would
be if you couldn't break itthat's what I was thinking.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yo let yo let them try to catch me now that I ain't
going back to picking nothingthis is this guy.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
Josh is making fun of me because of my age regarding
run on sentences, but you're theone who's writing it, this guy.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
I actually.
There's an author, you know whowrites the.
What is it?
The right and wrong?
Compulsion of the state.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
Whoever wrote that one.
That guy sucks that.
That little booklet is full ofthe longest run on sentences
I've ever read in my life, and Iby the end of each sentence.
I have no fucking idea what hewas talking about in the
beginning of the sentence Ithink he's a french dude it
sucks it.
Quite literally, thesesentences are so long that I
forget what he's talking aboutby the end of the sentence what

(26:39):
was it the right and wrong?
the right and wrong compulsionof the state or something like
that the host tj has all controland veto veto for the edit.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
Oh, what oh oh okay, alex is gonna edit crazy oh, we
didn't say that.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
We just said that we, you don't have all control, I
have all powerful control overthe edit I mean ultimately kind
of yeah, write, write that down.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
You have first cut.
You have first cut.
I have final cut.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Which we often don't.

Speaker 3 (27:11):
Yeah, because he won't give it to me.
He did that one week.
I was okay with that.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
My wife was in the hospital fucking Wednesday.
I couldn't.

Speaker 1 (27:18):
She was dying.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
She wasn't dying, no, she had influenza B and she's a
little fucking.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
She was dying.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
Little baby.

Speaker 3 (27:28):
So it was Mr Herbert Spencer.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Herbert Spencer can go take a fucking grammar class.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Herbert Spencer is a whack ass name.
If you're named Herbert Spencer.

Speaker 3 (27:37):
I've always wanted a penguin.
To name it Herbert.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
I've heard of that.
Yeah, You've said that before.

Speaker 3 (27:41):
I wanted to name it Herbert, just so I could go out
to the bar and ask a girl if Icould bring her home and have
her pet my penguin.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
I just thought it was a cool line.
She appears Points to TJ, wifeasks politely.
That appears Points to TJ, wifeasks politely.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
That's what she said.
Uh, no, no, tj gets no points.
You should have heard what hewas saying just a minute ago.

Speaker 1 (27:58):
Okay to go over.
Get us back on track To go overthe Grand Survival Ranking
System.
The Will you Surviveleaderboard will be a running,
season-long ranking which mustbe kept to track each host's
survival prowess or lack thereof.
The ranking system at the endof each episode.
The points are awarded asfollows winner gets three points
, second place gets one pointand the host gets none.
Bonus and penalty points.

(28:19):
Throughout the season,contestants may earn or lose
extra points based on differentfactors uh, decided by the host.
There is a plus one survivalbonus given if the host displays
uh, or if a host displaysexceptional survival reasoning,
trivia or strategy.
Minus one darren awarddeduction given if a host
displays exceptional survivalreasoning, trivia or strategy.
Minus one Darwin Awarddeduction given if a host makes
an especially terrible survivaldecision or claim.
Minus one unruly behavior givenif a host is especially unruly,

(28:44):
distracting or disturbing tothe main host.
And plus two Comeback Kid Awardif someone wins an episode
after being at a dead loss.
And number four, the anti-yoinkclause a host may not deduct
more than three season pointsfrom any contestant in any given
episode.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Okay, okay, all.
Are there any appeals um?
Can we vote on appeals later?
We can yeah so we're open wecould say open to appeals uh,
sure, if we don't want tocompletely vote on it yet.
Well, because I don't know ofany situations and, as long as
we can leave the matter open,because what I'm thinking is

(29:20):
like something of a Darwin point, like I don't want you guys to
give me a Darwin point.
If I know for a fact, I can dowhat I'm telling you, and if I
have the opportunity to prove it, oh, there's further.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
I have further laws on that.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
I, and if I have the opportunity to prove it, oh,
there's further.
I have further laws on that.
I have one, okay, the bluntrotation clause.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Okay, Puff, puff pass .

Speaker 2 (29:43):
The puff puff pass clause If somebody hasn't won
within a certain amount of time,you know, because usually we'll
kind of rotate through.
But if somebody hasn't won fora while and then they win.
I think we could do somethingwith that, you know.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
I vote veto.
I vote veto.
That's just against you bro.
I vote veto.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
I know what I'm doing .

Speaker 3 (30:13):
I was trying to help you out, okay, all right.
All right, I see, I know whatI'm doing here?

Speaker 1 (30:16):
I was trying to help you out, okay, all right.
All right, I see I know whatI'm doing here.
Okay, when I want to win, I canwin.
You don't get nothing.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
I think that.
But the two other, like youknow, owners, hosts of the
podcast get to make fun of saidbrand new winner host after loss
of rotation.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
You know.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
So at the beginning of the episode.
I feel like we get to make funof you twice.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
You know he makes fun of you.
I make fun of you.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
I don't like that.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
I don't think I'm going to add that one in.

Speaker 2 (30:42):
Oh look, he won the podcast.

Speaker 3 (30:45):
There you go.
Exactly how cute.
Okay, what do you think aboutthis?

Speaker 1 (30:49):
Here's the thing there's nothing stopping you
from doing that already.
It's true so.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
I don't think there's a point in adding that in.
We need to be immune to loss ofpoints.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
Yeah, it would force us to make you win.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah well, that's what I don't want.
I don't want to force you guys.
I don't want to force anybodyto make someone win, unless it
becomes a problem.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
Assuming that this season.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
It's going to be the same as the other season.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
You can't lose every single season, I know you don't
like to work.

Speaker 1 (31:12):
I have further laws, okay, you know, pick a movie or
whatever okay, we could putthese on hold well, but I think
these will be after you hear therest of them.
I think this will be a prettyeasy eye, okay, or yi uh.
Title three host bribery andfavoritism.
I present encouraged I presentthe shameless suck up clause
okay which is any contestant whoblatantly flatters the host.

(31:36):
For example, your survivalknowledge is unmatched.
A wise one may receive aone-time bonus point at the host
discretion.
That just makes it so that if,let's say, I get mad at you,
Alex, for giving TJ points whenhe's sucking up to you, you're
protected by the Constitution togive points as you see fit.
You know what.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
Your survival knowledge is absolutely
impeccable.
I have to tell you, your legalacumen rivals my own and those
of the highest scholars I'veever met.
That's a good point there, Alex.
Take a point.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
I got a point.
Take a point.
I like what you're trying.
I've already given you twopoints.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
I'm going to hold off for now.
I know what you're trying.
I've already given you twopoints.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
I'm gonna hold off for now.
You know what I like it, thoughI like it, though.
They're here.
Who the zombies?
I thought the gate would stopthem.
They knocked it down instantly.

Speaker 3 (32:24):
How much time do we have?
They're already here.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
We should have bought that beautiful Los Angeles
dream house in that safeneighborhood that Corinne showed
us.
I know it was so much moredefensible and Corinne would
have had us moved in before theapocalypse.

Speaker 3 (32:34):
Do you think it's too late to call her now?
I'll try.
No, no, we should have calledCorinne sooner.
Don't wait until it's too late.
Call Corinne Salas today at714-510-6443.
And buy your Los Angeles dreamhouse now.
That's 714-510-6443.

(32:57):
You can also find her onInstagram at nexthomebycorinne,
or visit her website atcorinnesalasnexthomegrandviewcom
.
That's C-O-R-I-N-N-E-S-A-L-A-Sdot nexthomegrandviewcom.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
I present the under the table deal provision Okay,
Any contestant caught attemptingto bribe the host with the
promise of future wins,alliances or sabotage of the
third co-host must lose threeseason points to their season
ranking.
Ooh, do not get caught.
If you're caught.

Speaker 3 (33:32):
Do not?
I like that, so if I walk in,On our handshake deal or if tj
walks in.
But we can, you know, just muteour mics yeah, true, true.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
He'll be like why are they so silent?
Why are they?
Why are they quiet?
We were just talking.
Okay, how do we feel aboutthose two?

Speaker 3 (33:48):
I like them.
Yeah, yai, yai.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yert Yai Yert Yert.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
Yoinks.

Speaker 1 (33:58):
Well, have you ever seen?
It's Travis Scott right.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
Travis Scott falls with autotune, so he's going and
he just goes yert.

Speaker 3 (34:11):
It's so funny.
I gotta watch that.
That would be funny.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
Title four host tyranny and checks on power.
Number one the survivaldictator clause.
The host rules with absoluteauthority until they make a
survival claim so absurd thatthe other two unanimously veto
that power.
Okay, and in which case thehost loses power for that

(34:35):
episode.
Number two the emergency couprule.
If a host abuses their power,for example awarding themselves
extra points or season points,the other two may stage a
survival coup, challenging thehost to a survival trivia duel
for control of the episode.
Oh, so it's not a guaranteedthing.

(34:56):
Oh, this is interesting.
And then I present number threethe let them eat cake law.
Any host found guilty ofexcessive tyranny must provide a
peace offering, for example,snacks, a movie choice, a free
veto on a movie choice orsomething that we all agree

(35:16):
Points, points, something we allagree is acceptable and
sufficient $25.
It will be a unanimous decisionbetween the three of us.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
Okay, all right, um, I I need to go over the first
one of this title again, thehost rule or the survival
dictator clause.
Yes.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Sure, the host rules with absolute authority until
they make a survival claim soabsurd that the other two
unanimously veto that power.

Speaker 3 (35:44):
That's the one that I got to see.
How do we prevent us from beingretarded and making handshake
deals, or do we not care?

Speaker 1 (35:55):
Well, that's what the under the table deal provision
is for.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
Okay, so then I just got to catch If you guys make a,
this sucks, though, okay, no,but no handshake deals that are
not done in the booth.
Yeah, it has to be done in thebooth unanimously by all members
in the booth Got it Got it.
I like it, then I got it.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
And it has to be unanimous by all the members
currently in DeBoof at themoment that the vote is taken.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Okay, let's do it.
And all handshake deals must bedone in DeBoof.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
So this title All who agree on title four say yai.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
Yai, hey, eric, handshake deal.

Speaker 3 (36:27):
No Busted.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
I'm not trying to get caught on that Busted Tyranny,
Tyranny Deal.
To get caught under the dealprovision, Well, it does say
bribe the host with promises offuture wins, alliances or
sabotage of the third host.
But I guess he could arguesabotage if I were to give you
points for this.

Speaker 3 (36:49):
So like I couldn't say something like hey, I got
your back against TJ.
The next time I'm the host.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
Exactly Okay, that's colluding.

Speaker 3 (37:00):
So I won't say that.

Speaker 1 (37:01):
Yeah, don't say that, definitely don't say that.
No, it looks good on atranscript.
I said no.

Speaker 3 (37:14):
That was Bill Burr.
She didn't say it like that.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
How much more?
Of the bylaws we got.

Speaker 1 (37:22):
Okay, so that's all that I have.
If we want to go back to TitleII, which is the Grand Survival
Ranking System, I would like toadd one final thing at the end
of it, just like right at thebottom small lettering really
quick.
Do we want to vote on the grandsurvival ranking system?
Do we all agree on that?

Speaker 2 (37:42):
now that we've yeah so my thing was, you know, small
print at the bottom yeah, yourthing is small, I'm not the host
.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
Small print at the bottom yeah, your thing is small
, I'm not the host.
So this isn't tyranny, youwalked into it.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
I'm sorry, I can't do anything about that.

Speaker 3 (38:03):
It's out of my hands.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
Because it's so small .

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Hey, future CJ as the thumbnail for this episode,
make it a highly edited pictureof Alex drinking a can of oil.
Because he's acting like a bot,anyways.

Speaker 3 (38:28):
So spiteful.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
Small print at the bottom.

Speaker 3 (38:31):
Triggered.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
I got a big print, anyways.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
Big print.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
Anyways, big print, as all members of this podcast
are, as Alex likes to say,retards, if this is right at the
bottom.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
I've never said that.

Speaker 2 (38:48):
If nobody points out the rule, rule doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
I actually do agree with that one.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
If we forget the rules, the rules don't apply.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
He got that from Distractible, but I do agree.
If nobody catches the rule,then there is no penalty.
Okay, so we're all gettingcopies of this.

Speaker 3 (39:08):
You're going to fax it to me, right?

Speaker 1 (39:11):
You have to catch it during the episode In the booth.
Now, if you say something, and20 minutes later.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
You have to catch it during the episode In the booth.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
All rules are to be caught in the booth.
Now, if you say something and20 minutes later, I realize wait
a minute you broke a bylaw,that still counts.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
It's within the episode.
It's in the booth.
Got it In the episode in thebooth.

Speaker 1 (39:29):
Okay, I will add that to the law of the wild.
I'll add that as the fourthpoint.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
Also it's got to be caught by Du Bois in Duboof.
This is the if you know, youknow rule If you know, you know.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
Small print at the bottom.
Also, josh gets to give out twopoints.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
Not three.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
Three points.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
Are these season points or just points?

Speaker 2 (39:57):
through every episode .
It can be, you know, anytimehe's in here, he can give out
either three game points orthree season points.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
Well, what about three game points or one season
point?
There you go, three game points, one season point, one or the
other, one or the other, and hecan split the points up however
he wishes.

Speaker 3 (40:23):
But, shall we say, he has to be able to justify it.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
He does.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
Sure, the Josh clause With proper.
Well, hang on.
Josh may give out three episodepoints, or one season point per
episode, uh, to any host of hischoosing.

(40:48):
Divided, however, he sees fitin whole numbers.

Speaker 3 (40:55):
In whole numbers, with appropriate rationalization
.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
What's the right way to say it?
Where it's like, it's not like.
Let's see, let's see, let's see.
Josh may give out three episodepoints or one season point per
episode to any host of hischoosing.
Divided, however, he sees fitin whole numbers Within reason.
Provided, provided, provided.
He gives proper rationalization.

(41:24):
Justification.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
Justification is good too.

Speaker 1 (41:27):
Justification.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
In smaller print.
Previous law is trumped, ifonly he like.
If he's not top viewer, then itgoes to whoever's top viewer.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
Wait, should we just call it the, the?
The our number one fan clause.

Speaker 3 (41:45):
Our number one fan clause.
Yeah, so if somebody elsetrumps him?
The number one fan clause, youknow this is pretty good because
we can get people engaging ifthey're the number one fan.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
I'm not going to lie, though.
Josh has a special place in myheart.

Speaker 3 (42:07):
Josh is always going to be one of these guys.

Speaker 1 (42:09):
He's been with us from the beginning.
We'll have to write him insomewhere else.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
Josh is written in.
We don't actually have to findanother.
We'll have to write them insomewhere else.
Josh is written in we don'thave to say that we don't
actually have to add that lastpart, but we should say that.
Top viewer.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
Well, how about we have the number one fan clause
and we have the Josh?

Speaker 3 (42:26):
clause I like that the Josh clause and then the
number one fan clause.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
The Josh clause.

Speaker 3 (42:30):
We've got to show Josh love.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Yeah, that one's permanent Santa Claus' brother,
his lesser known brother, josh.

Speaker 3 (42:40):
Claus, he's like bad Santa.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
He gives out packs of Newports by the gas station.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
When I smoked, dude, I would have taken a pack.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
They're already open.
He likes the plastic.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
I fucking love that it's already opened.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
All right, let's vote on the Josh clause and the
number one fan clause.
All who vote yes say a yi Yi.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
And then let me add at the bottom this is a.
I'm going to write it in smallprint.
I'm going to write it so Alexcan't see it.
In the event that I got myreading glasses on dick.
No hosts notice the breaking ofany of the above bylaws, no
penalty shall be enforced.

(43:38):
Uh well, I think that's goodenough.
In the event that no hostsnotice the breaking of any of
the above bylaws, no penaltyshall be enforced, just to add,
during the episode in the booth.
In the event that no hostnoticed the breaking of any of
the above bylaws in the duringthe episode during the episode

(43:59):
comma in the booth in the booth,no penalty shall be enforced.
Yes, okay, uh, cool.
I think that's pretty solidguys.
I like it we're gonna have tostudy this shit.
I will say this is homework.
I had one more article.
I want to run it by reallyquick before we end the episode,
just see if we potentially wantto include it.
I call it the scorched earthprotocol.

(44:21):
It's title five, uh, number one.
It's the declaration of totaldesperation.
A contestant who is too farbehind to win may officially
invoke the scorched earthprotocol by dramatically
announcing if I can't survive.
No one can and then number twotactical sabotage options.
Once invoked, the doomedcontestant may choose one of the

(44:43):
following sabotage tactics, thefirst being the point purge.
Force the host to reevaluateone of their past rulings and if
the ruling is overturned,points may be redistributed as
the host deems fair.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
I I'm thinking of edits for this.
It's like the Call of Duty nukesound Like if no one will
survive.
It's like ooch, ooch, ooch.
And then there's like a thingin the background rolling back
points.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
I like this the second sabotage option is the
sudden death showdown.
Challenge another contestant toa one-question survival duel.
If the challenger wins, theysteal a number of points that
the host deems fair if they lose.
They lose the season point.
Oh damn, I think the seasonpoint should be lost if this, on
any of these, if you lose thedispute, okay yeah.

(45:31):
And number three the umactually gambit.
Uh, call out a survival factstated earlier in the episode
and demand an emergency factcheck.
If the fact is wrong, theperson who stated it loses a
number of points that the hostdeems fair.
Oh, I love it, and now I dohave.
There is a third part of thisthat I didn't.
I didn't write down, butessentially, essentially, we

(45:54):
could add it in.
It essentially says that if theScorched Earth protocol is used
too many times in a singleseason, a host may deem the next
episode a Preserved Earthepisode where a Scorched Earth
protocol cannot be called Okay.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
I like those.
I think what we might have todo is add a protocol that the
host must the main host must bekeeping track of points during
the episode, and the person whofeels like they are falling
behind can call a point count.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
So where I think that gets tricky is that each
episode is kind of graded andpointed on its own scale.
For instance, some episodes youwin with four points and TJ has
three, others you have twelveand he has eleven.

Speaker 3 (46:48):
Right, but the reason why I say that is how would you
know you're so far behind?

Speaker 1 (46:53):
Well, I think, if you're invoking Scorched Earth,
it should be like everyone knowsyou have lost this episode.
Okay, is how would you knowyou're so far behind?
Well, I think if, if you'reinvoking scorched earth, it
should be like uh, everyoneknows you have lost this episode
okay all right, very goodthat's fine that's.
What I imagine is that youwould only use this where it's
like you guaranteed lost thisepisode.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
This will likely be invoked at the end of an episode
before point counting you mean,like it should have been that
last jeopardy episode when Iannihilated you?

Speaker 1 (47:14):
absolutely not?

Speaker 3 (47:15):
should have fucking called Scorched Earth, like I'm
halfway through that episode,yeah but I still won.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
Actually, I didn't need to call it.
I already knew, because shitwas rigged.
No, I didn't know, I didn'tknow.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
I knew you were rigging it.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
So I guess the third point, we'll call it the Green
Earth Initiative.
The we'll call it the greenearth initiative.
If scorched earth has beencalled more than how many times?
More than twice in a season?

Speaker 3 (47:41):
a host may deem the not twice in a season, twice in
a row, two episodes in a rowokay, uh, if, oh, hang on, we'll
call it the the green.

Speaker 1 (47:53):
Oh shit, I can't type , I can't type.
I can't type, I can't type.
The green Earth initiative.
If the Scorched Earth Protocolhas been invoked two episodes in
a row, whether successfully orfailed, I would think a host may

(48:18):
proclaim the next episode to bea green earth episode, allowing
for no scorched earth protocolsto be invoked.
Okay, so the Green EarthInitiative.
If the scorched earth protocolhas been invoked two episodes in

(48:41):
a row, whether successfully orfailed, a host may proclaim the
next episode to be a Green Earthepisode, allowing for no
scorched earth protocols to beinvoked.
I like it Cool.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
The um protocol.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
Every time you say um , you lose a point.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
If it is called out by another host that the said
host has said um more than 30times in the episode.
You got down your drink, butyou got to really be paying
attention.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
I was going to gonna say what are you gonna count our
ums?
But it'd be like next episodeyou know we didn't add a bylaw
about always having a drink.
Always have to have a drink.
Okay, I'll add that to.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
Uh, lay of the, the law of the wild now, before we
close out this episode, you'reruining this family Before we
close out this episode.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
You're ruining this family, hang on, hang on.
You're ruining, not runningruining this family law.
That's beautiful.
All hosts must have an adultdrink for the episode, which all

(49:59):
who vote for it say aye yeahokay, scorched earth protocol.
Um, the only change that I madeis that, for the tactical
sabotage uh, if the challenger,uh, if the rulings are not
overturned and the challenger'sscorched earth is denied, they
lose a season.
Point.
The challenger Ooh.

Speaker 3 (50:21):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (50:21):
So it means that you don't want to invoke it unless
you're pretty sure it's going togo your way, not willy-nilly.
So all who agree say aye.

Speaker 3 (50:29):
Aye.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
Cool.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
And we did cover what you benefit from.
The total season points right.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
What do you mean?
Like how you get them.

Speaker 3 (50:37):
No, what we're counting them for?
What is the victory?

Speaker 1 (50:41):
Oh well, that's kind of up in the air at the moment.
Eventually, you win the season.
What is that?
Initially?
Well, I was thinking that ifyou win the season, you become
the host for the first episode,for the first episode of the
next season, even if you weren'tthe winner of the previous
episode.
Do we want to add that in, ordo we just that's fine, let's

(51:05):
start with that and we can amendas we go.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
I think we can go on having TJ be the host of the
first episode of YouTube Nope, Ithink this has happened too
many times.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
Me too, two.

Speaker 2 (51:18):
Add in a.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
Gepardy clause no more Gepardy.
You know, you said final, I'mnot going to lie.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
I was going to add some Gepardy laws Just in case
we had another Gepardy, but Ikind of thought you might bring
some of those.

Speaker 2 (51:30):
What Gepardy laws?

Speaker 3 (51:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
There's not going to be another Gepardy.

Speaker 3 (51:34):
So here's a before we end the episode, I have a plea
to make, host uh, you're not thehost shut up, so I have an idea
for an episode that is unique.
We haven't done it before nowthe fact that you guys are gonna
have to watch a movie thatwe've already watched.
We're gonna cover a movie we'vealready covered, but you're

(51:57):
going to have to watch it with,with intent.
You're going to have to payattention during the movie
because I want to do a veryunique episode of will you
survive the podcast.
So, if you guys are down, tellme if I'm the winner of the next
episode and I'll tell you whatit is.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
Yeah, think uh shut up tj I think that's boring, I
think, uh, mr shut up, sir Ihave a really good pick for uh
you got nothing episode uh Ithink it's called it's called
cockneys versus zombies you'vegot nothing a group of bank
robbers, pensioners and a warveteran from east london's end

(52:35):
fight their way throughEngland's zombie infested
capital as their ill conceivedattempt to save a retirement
home goes around you didn't helpyour case old British people
versus zombies.
That's hilarious.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
I didn't like Shaun of the Dead.
No, but it's not.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
Shaun of the Dead.
Shaun of the Dead is that's.
The guy who made Shaun of theDead has a very particular style
of filmmaking.
It's not going to be anythinglike that.

Speaker 3 (53:10):
I think I should win.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
I don't like either of my options.

Speaker 2 (53:13):
Okay well, you know what?

Speaker 1 (53:15):
You don't like something different.
Well, I am actually verycurious what that would be.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
Yeah, well, hear me out, I got another proposition.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
You get to choose next episode's movie I will host
.
You get to choose, just becauseyou didn't get to do one this
time.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
Going on that idea.
Actually, that was actuallykind of a little bit of an idea
that I had with whoever wins theseason gets to decide the movie
for the first episode and theycan decide whether or not they
want to host it.
So to fuck with someone, if Iwin a season but Alex won the

(53:59):
last episode of the season, Ican pick Zombies the Beginning
and make Alex host that.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
That sucks.
That'd be funny, that's justmean.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
That was an idea that I had, if we want to add that
in.

Speaker 3 (54:16):
You didn't say it right.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
I would say yeah, can't say it right, I would say,
yeah, can't do anything right.

Speaker 2 (54:23):
You're gay and have arm hair like a bear.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Yeah, those are definitely mutually exclusive.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
That was weird.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
I don't know Gays, go for you, man, the list.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
What was the last one ?
We said, oh the host.

Speaker 3 (54:37):
The host picks the movie for the winner of the
season.

Speaker 1 (54:42):
And decides whether or not.

Speaker 3 (54:43):
Yeah, the winner of the episode.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
I'll add that to the grand raking system.

Speaker 2 (54:49):
But we haven't done anything for losers.
So I was thinking you knowsmall little thing, loser.

Speaker 3 (54:56):
You would think about the small little things.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
Loser gets an edited picture posted on the Instagram,
created by yours truly.
But what if it's you?
Then I'll do it.

Speaker 3 (55:05):
I'll let you do it.
I don't know how to do it.

Speaker 2 (55:07):
Or we could you know.

Speaker 3 (55:09):
Are you going to cartoon us?

Speaker 2 (55:11):
Loser of season must do forfeit of some sort Decided
by unanimous decision of lastepisode.
Forfeit of some sort decided byEunice's decision of last
episode well, what if?

Speaker 1 (55:24):
what if the loser of the season is?
Josh, I thought you were on myside what if, whoever loses the
season for the rest of the nextseason, they're referred to as
the first to die?

Speaker 3 (55:34):
oh, so you lose the season and all next season.
You're the first to die.
Oh so you lose the season andall next season.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
You're the first to die any situation you're, you're
the first to die I kind of likethat.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
I kind of like that, even if they're not the winner
is the ultimate survivor.
They get all the braggingrights everything yep, but the
losers, you it's in the shut upfirst to die it's in the cards
call that the rosy claw.
I kind of like that I got therosy claws.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
Now she'll be the second the season winner no, I
like that the season winner ruleuh, this one is season loser
rule.
The winner of the season maydecide, uh, which movie or topic
will be featured in the firstepisode of the next season, and

(56:23):
can decide whether or not hewill host.
And then the losers, the seasonloser the season loser rule.
And what was this one again?

Speaker 3 (56:36):
we're gonna call it the first to die rule or the
first to die rule like that.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
You agree with this?
Tj.
Yeah, first to die rule theloser of the season is the
ultimate loser and will bereferred to for the duration of
the next season as the first todie in every situation possible.

Speaker 3 (57:07):
It's harsh.
I love it.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
Cool.
All those in favor of those twosay yi.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
Yi.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
All right, I feel like we're pretty solid on the
Constitution now.

Speaker 3 (57:16):
I like it.
There's one thing that now,going back to the serious stuff,
one thing that I wanted to adda little more clarification to
was the financials.
I did say profit, which waspretty clear, but I do want to
be a little more specificregarding what that means.
We have you and I have expensesin this.

(57:37):
Expenses get covered first.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:41):
Right, I think we're on the same page Actually let me
say it better Advertisement andadvertisement, promotion and
marketing come first.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
I think we're on the same page with that.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
Then we reimburse expenses, then we go towards
splitting profits.
Yeah, but now, before we evenget to profits, guys, what I
would like to get us to is apoint where we submit time cards
and get paid for our time Ithink this is more like a a real
paperwork thing versus ourpodcast constitution okay, well,

(58:12):
we could do that.
So, uh, you're excellent juristyes.
You are the judge of judges Oof.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
I am the founding, I'm also the author.
I'm better than GeorgeWashington.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
Actually James Madison.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
Nah, you didn't own as many slaves.

Speaker 3 (58:30):
The father of the Constitution.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
I don't think that's the metric we want to rate the
presidents on.

Speaker 2 (58:36):
You're sounding pretty broke to me.

Speaker 1 (58:39):
You were no Thomas Jefferson, so.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
All yours were, you know, like $2, $3.

Speaker 3 (58:45):
You got the skinny weak ones, so you didn't own as
many as Jackson did.
Oh, what Wait.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
Sorry, I'm Jackson Wait TJ.

Speaker 3 (59:00):
Now you're excellent, excellent jurist.
I'm wondering if I can get thevictory out of you.
So, that I can tell you what myidea is, that I think would be
a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
Okay, well, dj said he doesn't want to win.
Congratulations, alex.
You are the first.
Well, I'm the first winner ofthis season, but you're the
first winner of the season withrules.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
That's right and laws .
Yeah, you're the first winnerof the season.

Speaker 3 (59:26):
First winner of the season with rules and laws.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
This constitution does not apply to previous
episodes.
That's why I'm saying Iforfeited my free three points
for the last episode.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
I feel like I could have rightfully fought for those
and I decided not to.
I give you one season.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
I will hold you to that when you are a host, nice,
because if I give it to myselfthere's going to be problems.

Speaker 3 (59:46):
So here's what I think we should do.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
Okay, nobody cares what you think.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
Shut up loser.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
Until next time.

Speaker 3 (59:55):
What a loser.
So Dawn of the dead I wanted toredo dawn of the dead with tj.
Okay, here's what we're gonnado.
It's going to be like a live uhreporter situation.
You and tj are going to be thereporters on the ground and
we're going to talk from theperspective of giving a news

(01:00:17):
report oh, that's hilarious, Iwant you guys to be in character
, wait.
So we're going to talk from theperspective of giving a news
report.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Oh, that's hilarious.
I want you guys to be incharacter.
Wait, so we're going to watchthe movie.
Should we make our newscharacters?
And then are you just going togive us a scene from the movie?
Yes, and we have to report onthat scene.
Yes, I'm going to be a wildnews reporter.

Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
That's exactly what I want to do.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
Okay, I really like that idea to do okay.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
I really like that idea.
That's very original.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
Yeah, kind of boring, shut up, you really like it.
I could tell he's alreadycoming up with his character.
He is, I can hear him.
I can hear him thinking ofmarkiplier's impressions.
I mean, like which one can?

Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
I which?
Which?
Which impersonation can I do?

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
markiplier has really funny.
Uh, news journalist voices wellhe has a really good tj.

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
has a really good white guy voice that I think he
would use yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
What's your white guy voice?
Tj, which one?

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
Well, you have multiple Well if you were doing
a white guy at a, a white guyreporter.
It's like the Dave Chappellewhite guy.
Uh, yes, alex.
Oh, we're out in the field.
Yes, alex, yes Alex.

Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
We're out in the field.
People are dying everywhere.
This zombie is biting my legoff.

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
currently I can feel the burning, searing pain, of my
tendons being ripped out of mythighs.
You might want to move.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
You might want to move there, TJ.
In good news, the New YorkGiants have found their new
point guard.

Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
You don't have to report on that news right now.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
You got to be like the reporters, where you say
something and you just yes.

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
That's a good point, Alex.
I think the natural delay isgoing to cover us on that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
I was also thinking we could put something in there
about what we do during theseasons, because I feel like at
least one TV series per season.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
I think we've naturally been doing that.
I will say for your sake, TJ.
I want to wrap this up.
I think we set a goodfoundation, but if we go on any
longer.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
I think we can go on for another 20 minutes so I have
a meeting tomorrow morningsubsection C and I think we're
done.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
I am not off, I am still a host, sir, to the
podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:02:37):
You can check us out on all of our socials, which are
going to be given to you byAlex.

Speaker 3 (01:02:45):
Yes, that's right, dj .
You can check us out on all ofour socials.
That's TikTok FacebookInstagram at Will you Survive
the podcast.
Go look us up on YouTube, checkout the Boys at WIS or just
search Will you Survive thePodcast.
Please send us your emails,tell us any movies you want us
to cover, any topics you'd liketo hear us discuss, or your

(01:03:06):
criticisms.
Send those to the Boys atWillYouSurviveThePodcastcom.
That's T-H-E-B-O-Y-S atWillYouSurviveThePodcastcom.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
And if you're interested in some gaming
content, you should go check out.
Will you survive gaming, whereTJ and I play different survival
games or sometimes just fungames and we post clips of that
and you should go check that out.
We also go live on there.
I've recently been doing aSkyrim cause she bare hands only
play through and it's beenmiserable.

(01:03:37):
So come check that out.
That's pretty funny.

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
I love it.
That's pretty much it.
Host, would you like to?

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Alright, guys.
Well, I am proud of us.
We have founded a greatdocument that I'm sure we will
totally pay attention to andwill totally not fall into
oblivion within the half of thisseason, and I hope everybody
enjoyed this episode.
It's very different from whatwe do and you got something to

(01:04:05):
say no, I'm good.

Speaker 2 (01:04:08):
Okay, you sure, if I don't survive, no one does.
No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 (01:04:16):
No, stay alive, Thank you.