August 30, 2025 • 17 mins
Disappointment cuts deep when battling depression, but these setbacks can become opportunities for growth and resilience. Through practical strategies and compassionate self-talk, we can learn to navigate life's inevitable letdowns while protecting our mental wellbeing.
• Disappointment hurts more deeply when you have depression, but defeat is optional
• A setback is an event, not an identity—your effort still matters even when outcomes disappoint
• Acknowledge your feelings openly and allow yourself to grieve what could have been
• Practice immediate self-care after disappointment: shower, eat, change your environment
• Create a proactive plan for handling setbacks before they occur
• Build resilience through small, consistent steps forward
• Remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness
• Strengthen your self-talk with phrases like "This moment is tough, but so am I"
• Resilience isn't about being tough all the time—it's about bending without breaking
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone struggling with mental health challenges. Join our Win Over Depression Community on Facebook or find us on TikTok at Tamara Trotter Consulting. Visit tamaratrotterconsulting.com for more resources. Remember, you are not your mental illness, and you can overcome your circumstances when you become proactive.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hello and welcome.
To Win Over Depression, yourbeacon of hope in the realm of
mental health.
I am your host, tamara Trotter.
I am your companion on thejourney to reclaiming joy and
resilience, and this podcastwill unravel the vital
importance of managing yourwell-being amidst life's
(00:32):
challenges.
From practical strategies touplifting stories and expert
advice, each episode is aroadmap to cultivating mental
wellness and overcoming the gripof depression.
Whether you are seeking solacefor yourself or supporting a
friend, here you will find thetools and inspiration to
(00:54):
navigate the complexities ofemotional health.
Join me as we embark on atransformative quest to
prioritize self-care, resilienceand the triumph of the human
spirit.
Let's together redefine thenarrative of depression and
embrace a life of purpose andfulfillment.
(01:17):
Today, on Went Over Depression,we'll be talking about something
that we all will experience inour lives at some point
Disappointment, whether it's theloss of a job, a broken
relationship, unmet goals orlife just not going the way
we've hoped.
Disappointment has a way ofcutting deep, especially when
(01:38):
you are already battlingdepression depression.
This podcast will allow you tofind light on the dark days,
reclaim your strength and takesmall, brave steps forward.
But here's the truth you canovercome disappointment and even
grow from it.
So grab some tea, take a breakand let's talk about how strong
(02:01):
you can become when life doesn'tgo as planned.
So let's be real.
Disappointment stings.
It hits us in the chest, it'sweight on your shoulders and
sometimes it sounds like thislittle voice in your head saying
you're not enough.
(02:21):
Why don't you just give up?
Or why do you even try?
When you live with depression,disappointment doesn't hurt, it
echoes.
It becomes another reason tospiral, to feel stuck or give up
.
But let me tell you somethingimportant Disappointment is a
part of life, but defeat is not.
(02:44):
Disappointment is a part oflife, but defeat is not.
Everyone, even the strongest,the happiest, the most
successful, feels let downsometimes.
The difference is not whetherwe experience it, but what we do
(03:04):
with it.
Here are the truths I want youto carry with you, especially on
days when everything feels likeit's falling apart.
This moment doesn't define you.
Just because things didn't goyour way, it doesn't mean that
you're a failure.
A setback is an event and notan identity.
(03:33):
The moment that you feel as iflife is just passing you by, the
time that you feel as if thesetbacks continue to come and
you feel as though you'll neverget ahead.
That just reminds you about howresilient you are, how far
you've come, and it shouldcatapult you into the
realization that, even thoughthings aren't going your way now
(03:57):
, it doesn't mean that it has tobe a defining moment, because
your effort still matters.
You showed up, you cared andyou tried, and that means
something, even if the outcomewasn't what you wanted.
You are building your ownresilience.
(04:18):
You are allowed to feel hurt,but you must still move forward.
Being strong doesn't meanpretending that you're okay.
It means honoring your feelingsand then choosing, little by
little, to keep going, because,remember, the sun will always
(04:39):
rise in the morning.
Sometimes we just have to laydown in the morning.
Sometimes we just have to laydown, close our eyes and go to
sleep, knowing that when we wakeup we have another chance, a
brand new day to start a newbeginning.
So let's take some action.
(05:11):
Not big, dramatic changes, butsimple steps can help you to
build resilience.
After disappointment, which isinevitable.
Say it out loud or write itdown I'm disappointed because my
friends let me down, or I'mdisappointed because I didn't
get the promotion.
So when we just acknowledge thereason for our change in
feeling and thought, then we canstart to grieve, whether it's a
(05:34):
job opportunity or a breakup,even just a bad day, it's okay
to mourn what could have been,and losses deserve compassion,
because we will all sufferlosses.
You may not have control of theoutcome, but you have absolute
(05:54):
control over how you treatyourself afterward.
Start with kindness, alwayswith kindness.
You are not weak for feelinglike this.
You are not broken because lifelets you down, because life
will oftentimes feel as ifyou're always trying to catch up
(06:17):
.
You can never get ahead, butyou are still worthy, still
capable and still needed, evenin your lowest moments.
This season will pass and whenit does, you'll look back and
see just how strong you were,even when it didn't feel like it
(06:38):
, when you were going throughthe fire.
Every day, you wake up and keepgoing.
You are already winning.
Be gentle with yourself, beproud of your progress and
always know that you are notalone.
You're not alone because thereare people who love you, who
(07:00):
care about you, who think aboutyou, often People who are
absolutely in your corner.
Sometimes we just need to reachout to them and say, hey, I'm
not having a really great dayand I would love some company.
How about going to dinner andto the movies.
When we are able to express ourneeds to others, it helps us to
(07:24):
feel better, because no one canread our mind, no one knows what
we really need at any giventime and space.
So we have to help them out bymaking suggestions, and that's
simply okay.
Reaching out for help is adefinite sign of practicing
self-care.
So I want you to think a momentabout your own personal
(07:47):
self-care.
What have you done in the lastthree days to practice self-care
?
And if you haven't doneanything in the last three days,
then my charge to you is whatwill you do in the next three
days to practice self-care?
Will you simply read a book?
Will you listen to yourfavorite music?
(08:08):
Will you take a walk?
Will you walk your dogs?
But what will you do to takecare of your own mental health
condition?
Because, as I have said manytimes, practicing self-care is
the number one way to begin tofeel better.
(08:29):
We have to be proactive in ourown fight, in our own quest, in
our own desire to feel better.
So if you are laying in yourbed right now, or you haven't
gotten up for the day, or youhaven't taken a shower, one
thing that you can doimmediately.
To practice self-care is to getup.
(08:50):
Practice self-care is to get up, go to your kitchen, get
something to eat, take a shower.
That is an example ofpracticing immediate self-care
and you will definitely feelbetter once you've done that.
And by doing that one smallthing, you will begin to build
momentum and you will inevitablystart feeling better.
(09:14):
Sometimes it's just a matter ofus getting up from where we are
and moving to a different areain our home.
So disappointments will come inlife and they will come at
times when it's really very hardfor us to deal with because
we've already got so much on ourplate.
(09:35):
So when we know thatdisappointment is inevitable, it
is important for us to have aplan.
So what is my plan when thingsdon't go my way?
What will I do if the outcomeis not what I expect?
The outcome is not what Iexpect.
When you suffer from depressionor mental illness, it's so
(10:03):
important to try ahead of timeto set up an action plan to deal
with what could be inevitable.
So an example would be for youto decide that I'm going to
think about it for a little bitof time and then I'm going to
let it go.
I am not going to dwell on itbecause I know, if I do, I am at
risk of suffering an episode ofdepression.
(10:25):
So, for my own wellbeing, I'mgoing to move forward.
I'm going to move forward, giveit its due attention, but I am
not going to allow it to consumeme.
I am not going to wallow indespair because that could set
you back an entire week orsometimes as long as a month.
(10:51):
We have to be aware of what ourtriggers are, and when we are
aware of what our triggers areand we put a game plan in place,
then we not only reduce ourepisodes of depression, but we
begin to build that stamina thatI'm talking about, and then,
when disappointments come andsetbacks come, we will not be as
(11:17):
affected because we arebuilding our resilience.
The word bounce back is oftenused when we talk about
resilience our ability to notlet something hold us back but
be able to actually get throughit.
So what does that actually mean, especially when we're in the
(11:39):
thick of the feeling and themoment when getting out of bed
feels like climbing a mountain,when life keeps throwing
curveballs and when you feelanything but strong?
Resilience isn't about beingtough all of the time.
It's not about pretendingyou're okay when you're not.
Resilience is about continuingto move forward, even if it's
(12:03):
just one tiny step at a time,because one tiny step at a time
is still movement.
It constitutes progress.
Resilience is your ability tobend without breaking, to feel
the full weight of pain,disappointment or fear, and
(12:26):
still say this isn't the end ofmy story, because it's not about
saying that I'm not affected.
It's about being adaptable.
It's saying this is hard, yet Ican and will learn from it.
I'm hurting, but I'll stillshow up.
(12:46):
This setback is terrible, but Iwill not allow it to define me.
Here's the good news Resilienceisn't something you're born
with or without.
It isn't a skill and, like anyskill, it can be developed,
especially through practice andpatience, because your mind
(13:09):
listens to what you tell it.
So if your body believes youcan't handle this, but your
spirit believes it, your spiritis what will guide you, and when
you do that, you activatecourage and you build grit.
So the next time you're goingthrough a struggle, whisper to
(13:34):
yourself this moment is tough,but so am.
I Say it until you believe it.
This is called strengtheningyour self-talk.
You can't control how othersbehave, what already happened or
what the future holds.
But you can control yourresponse, your breath, your next
(14:00):
step and your mindset.
Resilience doesn't grow inisolation.
You don't have to go througheverything alone.
Talk to a friend, join asupport group, talk to a
therapist it's okay to ask forhelp.
(14:22):
Let's be honest Buildingresilience is not a quick fix.
It's slow.
It can be frustrating,sometimes it feels like you're
going backwards, but every timeyou choose to stay instead of
run, to try instead of giving up, to have hope instead of
(14:43):
shutting down, you are buildingthe muscle of resilience, one
breath at a time and one day ata time, and you will eventually
look back and say I did that.
I am so much stronger than Iever thought.
And that will be your mantra toknow that when disappointment
(15:08):
and things happen, that you havethe stamina to get through it.
Don't ever underestimate yourquiet strength.
The road won't be easy, butyou're not walking alone and
every small choice that you maketo take care of your mind, body
(15:29):
and heart is proof.
It's proof that you are growing, you are healing and you are
becoming unshakable.
And remember, even when youfeel weak, even when everything
feels like too much, you arestronger than you know.
(15:49):
You are stronger than youpossibly know.
So I say to you, my friend stayin the game of life, because
giving up is never enough.
I never want to end my podcastwithout first thanking you so
very much for listening.
You continue to be the bestpart of when over depression.
(16:10):
Do me a favor, won't you sharethis podcast episode with
someone that you know sufferswith a mental health condition
or is trying to betterunderstand a loved one?
Remember, you can find us onTikTok at Tamara Trotter
Consulting.
You can also go to our website,tamaratrotterconsultingcom.
Remember we also have aFacebook group called Went Over
(16:30):
Depression Community and you canalso find us on Pinterest at TT
Mental Health Expert.
Remember, you are not yourmental illness and you can
overcome your circumstances whenyou become proactive.
If you are contemplatingsuicide, please do not take your
life.
Your loved ones won'tunderstand and they will always
(16:53):
wonder what they have could havedone differently.
All you're doing is passingthat pain onto your family.
Go back and listen to some ofmy episodes.
Consult with youraccountability partner, but
please don't take your life.
I will see you next time.
On Went Over Depression, wedrop an episode every Friday.
Take care and be blessed.
Hello and welcome.
To Win Over Depression, yourbeacon of hope in the realm of
mental health.
I am your host, tamara Trotter.
I am your companion on thejourney to reclaiming joy and
resilience, and this podcastwill unravel the vital
importance of managing yourwell-being amidst life's
(00:32):
challenges.
From practical strategies touplifting stories and expert
advice, each episode is aroadmap to cultivating mental
wellness and overcoming the gripof depression.
Whether you are seeking solacefor yourself or supporting a
friend, here you will find thetools and inspiration to
(00:54):
navigate the complexities ofemotional health.
Join me as we embark on atransformative quest to
prioritize self-care, resilienceand the triumph of the human
spirit.
Let's together redefine thenarrative of depression and
embrace a life of purpose andfulfillment.
(01:17):
Today, on Went Over Depression,we'll be talking about something
that we all will experience inour lives at some point
Disappointment, whether it's theloss of a job, a broken
relationship, unmet goals orlife just not going the way
we've hoped.
Disappointment has a way ofcutting deep, especially when
(01:38):
you are already battlingdepression depression.
This podcast will allow you tofind light on the dark days,
reclaim your strength and takesmall, brave steps forward.
But here's the truth you canovercome disappointment and even
grow from it.
So grab some tea, take a breakand let's talk about how strong
(02:01):
you can become when life doesn'tgo as planned.
So let's be real.
Disappointment stings.
It hits us in the chest, it'sweight on your shoulders and
sometimes it sounds like thislittle voice in your head saying
you're not enough.
(02:21):
Why don't you just give up?
Or why do you even try?
When you live with depression,disappointment doesn't hurt, it
echoes.
It becomes another reason tospiral, to feel stuck or give up
.
But let me tell you somethingimportant Disappointment is a
part of life, but defeat is not.
(02:44):
Disappointment is a part oflife, but defeat is not.
Everyone, even the strongest,the happiest, the most
successful, feels let downsometimes.
The difference is not whetherwe experience it, but what we do
(03:04):
with it.
Here are the truths I want youto carry with you, especially on
days when everything feels likeit's falling apart.
This moment doesn't define you.
Just because things didn't goyour way, it doesn't mean that
you're a failure.
A setback is an event and notan identity.
(03:33):
The moment that you feel as iflife is just passing you by, the
time that you feel as if thesetbacks continue to come and
you feel as though you'll neverget ahead.
That just reminds you about howresilient you are, how far
you've come, and it shouldcatapult you into the
realization that, even thoughthings aren't going your way now
(03:57):
, it doesn't mean that it has tobe a defining moment, because
your effort still matters.
You showed up, you cared andyou tried, and that means
something, even if the outcomewasn't what you wanted.
You are building your ownresilience.
(04:18):
You are allowed to feel hurt,but you must still move forward.
Being strong doesn't meanpretending that you're okay.
It means honoring your feelingsand then choosing, little by
little, to keep going, because,remember, the sun will always
(04:39):
rise in the morning.
Sometimes we just have to laydown in the morning.
Sometimes we just have to laydown, close our eyes and go to
sleep, knowing that when we wakeup we have another chance, a
brand new day to start a newbeginning.
So let's take some action.
(05:11):
Not big, dramatic changes, butsimple steps can help you to
build resilience.
After disappointment, which isinevitable.
Say it out loud or write itdown I'm disappointed because my
friends let me down, or I'mdisappointed because I didn't
get the promotion.
So when we just acknowledge thereason for our change in
feeling and thought, then we canstart to grieve, whether it's a
(05:34):
job opportunity or a breakup,even just a bad day, it's okay
to mourn what could have been,and losses deserve compassion,
because we will all sufferlosses.
You may not have control of theoutcome, but you have absolute
(05:54):
control over how you treatyourself afterward.
Start with kindness, alwayswith kindness.
You are not weak for feelinglike this.
You are not broken because lifelets you down, because life
will oftentimes feel as ifyou're always trying to catch up
(06:17):
.
You can never get ahead, butyou are still worthy, still
capable and still needed, evenin your lowest moments.
This season will pass and whenit does, you'll look back and
see just how strong you were,even when it didn't feel like it
(06:38):
, when you were going throughthe fire.
Every day, you wake up and keepgoing.
You are already winning.
Be gentle with yourself, beproud of your progress and
always know that you are notalone.
You're not alone because thereare people who love you, who
(07:00):
care about you, who think aboutyou, often People who are
absolutely in your corner.
Sometimes we just need to reachout to them and say, hey, I'm
not having a really great dayand I would love some company.
How about going to dinner andto the movies.
When we are able to express ourneeds to others, it helps us to
(07:24):
feel better, because no one canread our mind, no one knows what
we really need at any giventime and space.
So we have to help them out bymaking suggestions, and that's
simply okay.
Reaching out for help is adefinite sign of practicing
self-care.
So I want you to think a momentabout your own personal
(07:47):
self-care.
What have you done in the lastthree days to practice self-care
?
And if you haven't doneanything in the last three days,
then my charge to you is whatwill you do in the next three
days to practice self-care?
Will you simply read a book?
Will you listen to yourfavorite music?
(08:08):
Will you take a walk?
Will you walk your dogs?
But what will you do to takecare of your own mental health
condition?
Because, as I have said manytimes, practicing self-care is
the number one way to begin tofeel better.
(08:29):
We have to be proactive in ourown fight, in our own quest, in
our own desire to feel better.
So if you are laying in yourbed right now, or you haven't
gotten up for the day, or youhaven't taken a shower, one
thing that you can doimmediately.
To practice self-care is to getup.
(08:50):
Practice self-care is to get up, go to your kitchen, get
something to eat, take a shower.
That is an example ofpracticing immediate self-care
and you will definitely feelbetter once you've done that.
And by doing that one smallthing, you will begin to build
momentum and you will inevitablystart feeling better.
(09:14):
Sometimes it's just a matter ofus getting up from where we are
and moving to a different areain our home.
So disappointments will come inlife and they will come at
times when it's really very hardfor us to deal with because
we've already got so much on ourplate.
(09:35):
So when we know thatdisappointment is inevitable, it
is important for us to have aplan.
So what is my plan when thingsdon't go my way?
What will I do if the outcomeis not what I expect?
The outcome is not what Iexpect.
When you suffer from depressionor mental illness, it's so
(10:03):
important to try ahead of timeto set up an action plan to deal
with what could be inevitable.
So an example would be for youto decide that I'm going to
think about it for a little bitof time and then I'm going to
let it go.
I am not going to dwell on itbecause I know, if I do, I am at
risk of suffering an episode ofdepression.
(10:25):
So, for my own wellbeing, I'mgoing to move forward.
I'm going to move forward, giveit its due attention, but I am
not going to allow it to consumeme.
I am not going to wallow indespair because that could set
you back an entire week orsometimes as long as a month.
(10:51):
We have to be aware of what ourtriggers are, and when we are
aware of what our triggers areand we put a game plan in place,
then we not only reduce ourepisodes of depression, but we
begin to build that stamina thatI'm talking about, and then,
when disappointments come andsetbacks come, we will not be as
(11:17):
affected because we arebuilding our resilience.
The word bounce back is oftenused when we talk about
resilience our ability to notlet something hold us back but
be able to actually get throughit.
So what does that actually mean, especially when we're in the
(11:39):
thick of the feeling and themoment when getting out of bed
feels like climbing a mountain,when life keeps throwing
curveballs and when you feelanything but strong?
Resilience isn't about beingtough all of the time.
It's not about pretendingyou're okay when you're not.
Resilience is about continuingto move forward, even if it's
(12:03):
just one tiny step at a time,because one tiny step at a time
is still movement.
It constitutes progress.
Resilience is your ability tobend without breaking, to feel
the full weight of pain,disappointment or fear, and
(12:26):
still say this isn't the end ofmy story, because it's not about
saying that I'm not affected.
It's about being adaptable.
It's saying this is hard, yet Ican and will learn from it.
I'm hurting, but I'll stillshow up.
(12:46):
This setback is terrible, but Iwill not allow it to define me.
Here's the good news Resilienceisn't something you're born
with or without.
It isn't a skill and, like anyskill, it can be developed,
especially through practice andpatience, because your mind
(13:09):
listens to what you tell it.
So if your body believes youcan't handle this, but your
spirit believes it, your spiritis what will guide you, and when
you do that, you activatecourage and you build grit.
So the next time you're goingthrough a struggle, whisper to
(13:34):
yourself this moment is tough,but so am.
I Say it until you believe it.
This is called strengtheningyour self-talk.
You can't control how othersbehave, what already happened or
what the future holds.
But you can control yourresponse, your breath, your next
(14:00):
step and your mindset.
Resilience doesn't grow inisolation.
You don't have to go througheverything alone.
Talk to a friend, join asupport group, talk to a
therapist it's okay to ask forhelp.
(14:22):
Let's be honest Buildingresilience is not a quick fix.
It's slow.
It can be frustrating,sometimes it feels like you're
going backwards, but every timeyou choose to stay instead of
run, to try instead of giving up, to have hope instead of
(14:43):
shutting down, you are buildingthe muscle of resilience, one
breath at a time and one day ata time, and you will eventually
look back and say I did that.
I am so much stronger than Iever thought.
And that will be your mantra toknow that when disappointment
(15:08):
and things happen, that you havethe stamina to get through it.
Don't ever underestimate yourquiet strength.
The road won't be easy, butyou're not walking alone and
every small choice that you maketo take care of your mind, body
(15:29):
and heart is proof.
It's proof that you are growing, you are healing and you are
becoming unshakable.
And remember, even when youfeel weak, even when everything
feels like too much, you arestronger than you know.
(15:49):
You are stronger than youpossibly know.
So I say to you, my friend stayin the game of life, because
giving up is never enough.
I never want to end my podcastwithout first thanking you so
very much for listening.
You continue to be the bestpart of when over depression.
(16:10):
Do me a favor, won't you sharethis podcast episode with
someone that you know sufferswith a mental health condition
or is trying to betterunderstand a loved one?
Remember, you can find us onTikTok at Tamara Trotter
Consulting.
You can also go to our website,tamaratrotterconsultingcom.
Remember we also have aFacebook group called Went Over
(16:30):
Depression Community and you canalso find us on Pinterest at TT
Mental Health Expert.
Remember, you are not yourmental illness and you can
overcome your circumstances whenyou become proactive.
If you are contemplatingsuicide, please do not take your
life.
Your loved ones won'tunderstand and they will always
(16:53):
wonder what they have could havedone differently.
All you're doing is passingthat pain onto your family.
Go back and listen to some ofmy episodes.
Consult with youraccountability partner, but
please don't take your life.
I will see you next time.
On Went Over Depression, wedrop an episode every Friday.
Take care and be blessed.
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