January 20, 2025 • 32 mins
This episode emphasizes the profound impact of stories on our beliefs and emotional well-being. Through personal anecdotes of adversity and resilience, Ryan encourages listeners to let go of unproductive emotions and embrace life's unexpected moments as opportunities for growth.
• The significance of personal stories behind our beliefs
• Evaluating the relevance of emotional baggage
• The transformative power of running as an outlet
• Lessons learned from a life-changing accident
• The importance of reconciling fractured family relationships
• Embracing unexpected chapters in life's narrative
• The role of discipline in achieving personal goals
• Nurturing connections and fostering love over conflict
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to the Win Today podcast, a weekly resource
thoughtfully crafted to equippeople with tools to build and
refine discipline, accomplishyour goals, fortify your mindset
and be of service to somebodyin this world.
My name is Ryan Cass and I amyour host, and every week, you
will learn from either myself ora renowned expert in their
field, where we will educate andinspire you and give away
(00:28):
pieces of our winning playbooksfor you to incorporate into your
life.
If you love the show, pleasehit the subscribe button, share
with somebody who you believewill benefit from it, and leave
a rating and review so we cancontinue to grow and inspire
more people in this world.
We believe that everybody inthis world is meant to do
something great with their livesand we're here to play a role
(00:48):
in that.
Thank you for tuning in andlet's win today.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Everybody has a story behind a stance.
That is one of the best lessonsthat I've learned from one of
my best friends and brother andinspirational speaker, chris
Singleton.
Everybody has a story behind astance, meaning that everybody
that speaks a certain thing,preaches a certain thing.
(01:17):
You should do this or this isone thing that may change your
life has a story behind it.
We're not all born to believethat certain people should have
certain things, or we may notall be born to believe that
everybody should plant trees intheir backyard and be conscious
(01:41):
of the environment.
We're not all born to believethe same things and be conscious
of the environment.
We're not all born to believethe same things.
We come to preach the thingsthat we do because of a story or
an influence or somebody orsomething that took place in
your life that's significantenough to have shaped your
belief system to have shapedyour belief system.
(02:03):
I love how Chris brings this upwith his story.
Chris lost his mother in aracially motivated shooting 10
years ago.
A white supremacist entered achurch and shot nine people, one
of them being his mother, thatwere in a prayer session because
(02:24):
of the color of their skin.
So Chris will speak to youabout loving your neighbor, and
that we should all say I loveyou to somebody that we don't
know that looks different thanus, because by spreading love,
we may prevent these heinousacts that we see taking place in
(02:47):
the world.
Everybody has a story behind astance and why they do what they
do.
This week is very special to mebecause of something that took
place in my life nearly sixyears ago to the day.
It'll be a couple days from therelease of this episode, since
(03:11):
this is coming out on January20th, but January 23rd 2019 was
a significant day in my life.
That has me preaching to y'allabout two important things which
we'll get into, one of thembeing to stop holding on to
(03:35):
things and baggage and beef withpeople that isn't serving us,
and the second being that wedon't always get to create our
stories on our terms, our lifestories, our life design.
Now I could tell you those twothings in principle and in
(03:56):
theory, and say don't hold on tothings that don't serve you and
not everything happens on yourterms, and you'd probably agree
or think oh, I've heard thatbefore, it's not the first time,
I've heard that.
It's not rocket science,nothing new, but when there's a
story attached to it.
(04:19):
That's what gets people toremember things and that's why
stories are so important andstories are so powerful.
Many of the products that youbuy and brands that you love to
represent, to wear, to supportthe most today, it's probably
because they have some sort ofstory that catches you at the
(04:42):
heart, or some sort of missionor founder that really resonates
with you, and that's why youbuy their product.
Not that it might be anydifferent than brand Y, so you
buy from brand X because youlove brand X's story.
Brand Y has the same product,maybe even a better one, but X
(05:03):
has a better story.
So here is my story fromJanuary 23rd 2019.
Now I'm grateful that a lot ofnew folks have discovered the
podcast, and some of you mayhave heard this once or twice
before, maybe even three times,but for those that don't know,
(05:26):
running is a big part of my life.
I absolutely love it.
It's something that firsthelped me start to heal and
meditate from the things thatwere going on in my household.
Growing up, growing up in abroken household and in a
(05:47):
household with a longstandingtrend of alcoholism I was very
upset at the world and I didn'thave the best release mechanisms
, meaning that my anger oftenled to breaking things in the
house being closed off, thingsthat were not serving me very
well, because I was holding onto this thing that kept
(06:11):
happening in the house, versuslooking at what is it giving me,
versus carrying a bunch ofextra weight and therefore I
discovered the sport ofwrestling, which then introduced
me to running and started toreally love what it did for me.
(06:31):
Every time I would lace up andgo out and run, I noticed that I
could shut my mind off fromeverything else that was taking
place in my world, everythingthat was going on at home, the
chaotic scenes between myparents.
All of that went away, and sorunning has a very special place
(06:54):
in my heart, and now I get touse it, still as an outlet, as a
form of meditation, but nowalso get to use it to inspire
people to push their bodies,minds and hearts further than
they believed possible, get touse it to positively impact
(07:15):
lives of people that are goingthrough really tough things
right now.
Last few years, we've usedrunning to support families that
have a loved one that'scurrently battling cancer and
donate thousands of dollars tomultiple families in the
Carolinas, and running is also away for me to compete and prove
(07:41):
myself right, which is aconcept I've shared before and
got that from Nick Baer, founderof Baer Performance Nutrition.
Running is a lot of things.
Running is more than running,simply put, and one thing that
pretty much every competitiverunner has on their bucket list
(08:02):
is to compete and qualify forthe Boston Marathon.
The Boston Marathon is specialbecause, of all the world major
marathons between Boston, london, new York, chicago, berlin,
tokyo and, soon to be, sydneyBoston is the only one that
(08:22):
doesn't have a lottery system,meaning that you must qualify or
you can fundraise, but there isno third option, so pretty much
it's qualify or you're notgoing to be competing.
So that in itself makes it veryspecial, and it's the oldest
marathon.
I put this on my goals list in2017 to qualify for the Boston
(08:47):
Marathon, thinking that I wasgoing to be there in 2018 and
nothing was going to stop me.
Little did I know at the timethat running is more than just
going out as hard as you can, asfast as you can, every single
day.
That led to injuries and didnot qualify in 2017.
Did not qualify in 2018.
(09:08):
Got a little bit better attraining, but still wasn't very
good at it and got injured againand not the year.
So 2019 was absolutely going tobe the year Was going to be
running in the 2020 BostonMarathon, without a shadow of a
doubt, training hard.
I've gotten a lot smarter andthis is it.
(09:30):
I've been visualizing thisevery day for years and on
January 23rd I remember cominghome, I was talking to my dad on
the way back from work.
This is I normally would callsomebody and let him know I was
about to go for a run.
It was actually a pretty decentday in Charleston, not too
(09:53):
chilly, and I was going to goget a few miles before the sun
came down pretty much myeveryday six-mile route anywhere
from four to eight.
I believe I was going for sixthat day and got off the phone,
with him, parked my car, tookcare of the dog, got dressed and
(10:14):
started going.
I'm not even 10 minutes intothis run.
I had just taken a left out ofthe apartment complex that I was
living in at the time and aboutto cross the same crosswalk
that I crossed thousands oftimes, and little do we know
(10:34):
that at that crosswalk I got hitby a car and woke up in the
trauma unit at MedicalUniversity of South Carolina,
musc.
So in this intersection I doremember coming to a little bit
(10:55):
and a medic telling me thatyou're going to the hospital.
You must go to the hospital.
I got hit in the crosswalk,went flying from what I heard
from the police officer, wentflying about 15, 20 feet,
something like that, and wasseverely concussed, had a gash
(11:19):
in my head, at the top of myhead, and I was bleeding pretty,
pretty profusely out of my leftside.
I got hit on my right side,landed on my left side, had a
massive hematoma, probablyalmost like a size of a mini
basketball you could have.
You could have gripped it andand had some fun with it.
(11:40):
And, of course, my stubbornself was probably begging and
pleading with the EMTs that Icould just walk home and I'll be
fine.
Heck, I might've even told themI could run.
I don't know, but I know Ididn't want to go and and fast
forward.
I had called my dad again, notto my memory, but now I'm
(12:04):
sharing facts from the witnessesand people that got to
experience this.
I got into the ambulance andcalled my dad, who I'd just
spoken to not long before, and Itold him.
I said, dad, I got hit by a car, I'm going to the hospital.
Said, dad, I got hit by a car,I'm going to the hospital.
(12:31):
Discipline is a key component ofthis podcast and a key thing
that we preach.
We view discipline as the fuelto help you create the life that
you ultimately desire, anddiscipline being the fuel that
gets your habits and systems incheck so that you can actually
accomplish your goals.
If you're looking to level upin 2025, I am happy to be a part
(12:54):
of that and encourage you tojoin the Unshakable Discipline
Mastermind Group.
This has been my baby for acouple years and we're finally
launching it here in 2025.
The group consists of aself-paced course that teaches
you how to form core habits andmindset that will allow you to
(13:14):
accomplish your goals.
A daily accountability channelto keep you on track, motivated
and in alignment with ourmembers, and weekly mastermind
sessions where you're going tolearn from either myself or a
suite of renowned guests manywho have been on the podcast
that are going to share piecesof their winning playbooks
(13:34):
directly with you.
I've learned that being a partof groups over the years has
helped propel me to so many newlevels in life.
If you want to go fast, go alone.
If you want to go far, then gotogether, and it's my wish that
the Unshakable Crew is a choicethat makes sense for you in 2025
(14:00):
.
We are growing up to 100members this year and have
limited time founding memberpricing for 12 more folks before
we permanently increase pricingto $97 a month.
You can get in now for $67 amonth, locked in for life, and
be a part of the adventure thatwe're creating with our members.
(14:24):
If you're somebody that cravesdiscipline, seeks it or wants it
this year, and you're reallycommitted to making lasting
changes in your life and beingaround others that are committed
to winning and serving theworld and sharing what they
learn with others so that wemake this world a better place,
(14:52):
then join the Unshakeable crew.
Go to unshakabledisciplinecomand you can sign up.
It is also in the show notesUnshakeable shake as in
milkshakeunshakabledisciplinecom, and
we're excited to have you in2025.
Let's go dot com and we'reexcited to have you in 2025.
Let's go.
And to my discredit now, ormisfortune, whatever you may
(15:14):
want to describe it as.
At first he didn't believe mebecause I also happen to be the
class clown in the family,jokester prankster, and he
thought that, all right, this isjust Ryan being a jokester,
there's no way.
And of course I don't remembercalling him there.
(15:35):
And I began to call himrepeatedly and then I FaceTimed
him from the ambulance and hesees me in a stretcher with the
neck guard and everything and hesays, holy shit, like you're
not kidding, and he rushes downto charleston, actually got
pulled over by the same policeofficer that responded to to my
(15:59):
scene, because he went to myapartment first, I believe, to
go grab some things, and thenwas driving about 100 miles an
hour down Highway 17 inCharleston and got pulled over
and told the officer why he wasgoing so fast and it was the
same one that responded to myscene and she told him to please
(16:21):
slow down.
But she didn't give him aticket or anything and mentioned
that I was going to be okay.
And I woke up I'm not sure howmany hours later in the trauma
unit and very concussed, butboth of my parents were there in
the room and at that point tothem nothing else mattered but
(16:45):
ensuring that I was okay Because, having spoken with the police
officer after the fact, theyestimated that this SUV that hit
me was going about 30 miles anhour.
So if you do the math, 30 milesan hour SUV times a 155, maybe
(17:08):
160-ish pound person running,the math doesn't add up that
that object hitting the otherlarge object hitting not so
large object the not so largeobject usually diminishes, goes
away, isn't supposed to be here.
And I made it out of there withno broken bones, a messed up
(17:34):
knee, strained like MCL orsomething like that.
Banged up shoulder, someinternal kidney bleeding.
They were monitoring me.
They were getting close totaking me in for surgery to calm
that down, emergency surgery,but fortunately none of that.
Apparently, that was about tobe a reality and again, just
(17:58):
very, very bad concussions.
Went through multiple CAT scanswhile I was there, none of which
I recall.
So the fact that I'm here, Ibelieve, means the big man
definitely has some plans, somethings that I'm meant to do,
some boxes that haven't beenchecked yet.
(18:19):
I'm very grateful, and here'sthe thing that.
Here's one of the things that Igained from that day, but also
a lesson.
So the first lesson from this,based off this story I just told
you, is if you would have putmy parents in the same room on
(18:42):
that same day without me beingin the picture, meaning that I
never got hit by a car and thatjust the two of them entered the
same room together.
There would have been fireworkslike the 4th of July, because
at that point in time and thiswas a few years after their
(19:05):
divorce they were not on thebest of terms.
There were a lot of things thathad come back up from the past,
a lot of things that were beingheld onto that were not serving
them very well and it was notfun to be around either of them.
(19:28):
If they were together, theywould find a way to get away
from each other.
This person's wrong, no, thisperson's wrong, and here's why,
and as the keeper of the peacein the family, it was tough to
see that Fast forward.
(19:48):
Now, what's in the picture isthat their son is in bad
condition.
I don't want to say criticalcondition, because it's not like
I was about to die or up in theICU, but definitely, again,
very scary moment, but critical,we'll call it not so great
(20:08):
condition.
Everything that they wereholding onto at that point,
leading into them being in thatroom together, didn't matter and
it went away.
It went away and after that day, I believe, was one of the
(20:33):
turning points in their nowfriendship, and of course, there
have been some rocky moments,but we'll call it rocky bumps.
Just like any relationship mayhave, or friendship or whatever
the case may be, there's alwaysgoing to be some bumps, but they
became friends again after thatand I believe it was both of
(20:56):
them that recognized in thatmoment all this stuff that we
brought into this room how theyfelt about each other was
insignificant.
So here's the thing Stopcarrying things that aren't
serving you and evaluate if thebeef that you may have with
(21:20):
somebody is that reallysubstantial.
I was talking to my mom earlierthis week about family
relationships and how this dayis coming up, the 23rd, and
here's a question that may beuseful for someone If someone
(21:42):
that you love or really caresabout right now was on their
deathbed, is the thing thatyou're holding on to about them,
would it still be relevant?
I think about that with my dadand his mom and I love them both
to death, dad and his mom, andI love them both to death and I
(22:09):
often have conversations with mydad about what he's holding on
to with her and ask him would itmatter if this was going to be
her last day on earth?
Or would it matter when you'regoing to to see her towards the
end of life?
Or what would really matter,would it be to make the best of
(22:30):
the time you have with them,maybe to clear off any of the
bad graces that you may have.
I'm not suggesting that if youhave something going on with
someone right now to just eraseit, feel your feelings, go
through whatever process youneed to go to, but also ask is
(22:53):
it worth holding on to or is itworth fixing, or does it need to
be held on to anymore?
Is there a lesson that can beextracted from this?
What are you holding onto inlife that's not serving you?
That's the biggest thing, oneof the biggest things that I
(23:14):
think about after this.
And I think about what if I wasmy mom or dad in that moment,
looking at my son and maybe Ididn't, I wasn't a big fan of, I
guess what would have been myex-wife pretending if I'm my dad
(23:35):
, maybe I wasn't a big fan of mymom at the time Would that
really matter in that momentwhen our son is facing what he's
facing?
No, because this is our son,this is our family.
I often have conversations withpeople, especially people that
(23:57):
are in the mastermind group, andoften dig into again their
belief systems.
What are the stories behind thestances?
Are they serving you well?
And find that a lot of peoplecan't get to where they want to
go in life or where theyenvision where they dream of
(24:19):
being in life, because they'reweighed down by all the things
that aren't serving them.
Imagine if you were carrying a100-pound rucksack every day,
everywhere you went, everyinteraction you had, every
gathering, you went toeverything.
You might be able to getthrough some things, but
(24:42):
eventually that rucksack of allthe things that aren't serving
you, it's going to freaking,weigh you down.
You're not going to show uplike you want to, you're not
going to serve people like youwish to, and you're going to
wonder what is it?
What is it that's stopping me?
Sometimes people don't evenrealize what they're holding on
to and how much it's weighingthem down, even realize what
(25:07):
they're holding on to and howmuch it's weighing them down.
So I wish that this serves as anaction for you to evaluate
what's being held on to thatmight not be serving you and
really think about it.
Can it be fixed?
Does it really matter if itcame down to this person being
at the end of their life, wouldI feel the same way and again
(25:28):
feel your feelings?
Feel your feelings, validatethem, but really think through
that, the second thing that thisgave me.
And second lesson, second thingto share with y'all with this
story, not everything happens onyour terms.
(25:51):
So the first lesson was stopcarrying things that don't serve
you and evaluate if what isserving you is really if, or
evaluate if the beef you havewith someone is really
substantial or if it can besolved.
Second one is not everythinghappens on your terms.
So I mentioned that I figuredqualifying for Boston no doubt
(26:15):
was going to take a year.
Little did I know that I wouldbe on that journey for six years
.
Six years beautiful journey, bythe way, because there's some
more fun stuff that happenedalong the way A few more
hospital visits, but not assubstantial as getting hit by a
car.
Not everything happens on yourterms, and one mental reframe
(26:42):
that I have now is there will bebonus chapters.
There will be bonus chapters inlife.
So we are the authors of, anddirectors of, our book.
We're the authors of our bookor we're the director of our
movie, however you may look atlife, whether it's you're
writing a book or you'redirecting a movie.
(27:03):
And, of course, if we got towrite every single chapter or if
we got to direct every singlescene, it would be the greatest
movie and the greatest book ofall time.
It would be amazing.
There would be no divorces, nopeople cheating on each other,
(27:25):
no people murdering people, nosudden losses, nothing.
But not everything happens onour terms and every time
something doesn't go our way youget a bonus chapter in the book
.
For those that are old enough toremember when we actually
listened to CDs and DVDs, howexciting it was when there was
(27:51):
the bonus scenes or the bonussongs on the album, or there was
that second CD or the secondDVD.
That here's all thebehind-the-scenes takes and
here's all the behind the scenestakes and here's all the extra
songs With movies.
Sometimes those behind thescenes takes are the bloopers.
The director didn't write thebloopers, think about it.
(28:14):
The director didn't write thebloopers.
And now they turned it into thisbonus chapter, this bonus
scenes, based off of all thethings that didn't go well
during the recording of themovie, and we sit there and
absolutely embrace it and loveit and appreciate it.
(28:35):
But we don't always do thatwith our own life, as if
everything's always going to goour way.
So I like to think about it ashey, bonus chapters, just like
you would with the CDs, thealbums, the movies, bonus scenes
(28:57):
, awesome.
So this was a bonus chapterthat got written because that
halted all of the 2019qualifying process.
That completely halted it.
We got back on the horse lateron, eventually started running
(29:18):
again in 2019 after healing upand went back out there, wasn't
afraid, Eventually qualified in2022.
So quite a few bonus chapterswritten, but recognize that when
the things don't go your way,folks, not everything's going to
happen on your terms.
(29:38):
Now you get to have some bonuschapters and think about how
sweet those can be and all ofthe lessons that it can give you
.
I'm so grateful to still behere to get to share the story
year in and year out.
This is one of the ones that Ibring up often in my keynote
(30:03):
speeches and share the samelessons that stop carrying
things that aren't serving youwell.
I couldn't imagine that.
Let's just say, january 23rd2019 was my last day.
I couldn't imagine it.
I couldn't imagine it ending,knowing that at the time, I
(30:29):
still had some, some extrabaggage I was holding onto
myself, things that prevented mefrom entering relationships and
getting close to people.
You know all of that has beendropped now and thankfully this
was a result of that.
And recognize that, as much aswe always want things to be on
(30:54):
our plan, and even if we havethe best written plan, most
methodical plan in the entireworld, it still might not go our
way and that is to be embraced.
So, my friends, think about thelessons here.
Think about the stories thatinfluence your stances on things
(31:15):
.
How can you share that withsomebody today or this week to
positively impact them?
Everybody's got a reason behindwhy they do what they do.
Everybody's got a reason behindwhy they say what they say.
I'm telling you, I'm wishingthat you are mindful of what
(31:39):
you're holding on to andrecognize and appreciate that
not everything's going to happenon your terms, because of an
event that took place in my lifethat showed me those two things
and that helped reunite myparents in a tough time and
(32:01):
embrace our bonus chapters andembrace our bonus chapters.
I'm wishing that this servesyou well.
Be of encouragement, be ofservice to somebody today, this
week, this month, this year, andgo out, do amazing things.
Drop the baggage, appreciatethe bonus chapters and win today
(32:42):
.
Thanks so much.
Welcome to the Win Today podcast, a weekly resource
thoughtfully crafted to equippeople with tools to build and
refine discipline, accomplishyour goals, fortify your mindset
and be of service to somebodyin this world.
My name is Ryan Cass and I amyour host, and every week, you
will learn from either myself ora renowned expert in their
field, where we will educate andinspire you and give away
(00:28):
pieces of our winning playbooksfor you to incorporate into your
life.
If you love the show, pleasehit the subscribe button, share
with somebody who you believewill benefit from it, and leave
a rating and review so we cancontinue to grow and inspire
more people in this world.
We believe that everybody inthis world is meant to do
something great with their livesand we're here to play a role
(00:48):
in that.
Thank you for tuning in andlet's win today.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Everybody has a story behind a stance.
That is one of the best lessonsthat I've learned from one of
my best friends and brother andinspirational speaker, chris
Singleton.
Everybody has a story behind astance, meaning that everybody
that speaks a certain thing,preaches a certain thing.
(01:17):
You should do this or this isone thing that may change your
life has a story behind it.
We're not all born to believethat certain people should have
certain things, or we may notall be born to believe that
everybody should plant trees intheir backyard and be conscious
(01:41):
of the environment.
We're not all born to believethe same things and be conscious
of the environment.
We're not all born to believethe same things.
We come to preach the thingsthat we do because of a story or
an influence or somebody orsomething that took place in
your life that's significantenough to have shaped your
belief system to have shapedyour belief system.
(02:03):
I love how Chris brings this upwith his story.
Chris lost his mother in aracially motivated shooting 10
years ago.
A white supremacist entered achurch and shot nine people, one
of them being his mother, thatwere in a prayer session because
(02:24):
of the color of their skin.
So Chris will speak to youabout loving your neighbor, and
that we should all say I loveyou to somebody that we don't
know that looks different thanus, because by spreading love,
we may prevent these heinousacts that we see taking place in
(02:47):
the world.
Everybody has a story behind astance and why they do what they
do.
This week is very special to mebecause of something that took
place in my life nearly sixyears ago to the day.
It'll be a couple days from therelease of this episode, since
(03:11):
this is coming out on January20th, but January 23rd 2019 was
a significant day in my life.
That has me preaching to y'allabout two important things which
we'll get into, one of thembeing to stop holding on to
(03:35):
things and baggage and beef withpeople that isn't serving us,
and the second being that wedon't always get to create our
stories on our terms, our lifestories, our life design.
Now I could tell you those twothings in principle and in
(03:56):
theory, and say don't hold on tothings that don't serve you and
not everything happens on yourterms, and you'd probably agree
or think oh, I've heard thatbefore, it's not the first time,
I've heard that.
It's not rocket science,nothing new, but when there's a
story attached to it.
(04:19):
That's what gets people toremember things and that's why
stories are so important andstories are so powerful.
Many of the products that youbuy and brands that you love to
represent, to wear, to supportthe most today, it's probably
because they have some sort ofstory that catches you at the
(04:42):
heart, or some sort of missionor founder that really resonates
with you, and that's why youbuy their product.
Not that it might be anydifferent than brand Y, so you
buy from brand X because youlove brand X's story.
Brand Y has the same product,maybe even a better one, but X
(05:03):
has a better story.
So here is my story fromJanuary 23rd 2019.
Now I'm grateful that a lot ofnew folks have discovered the
podcast, and some of you mayhave heard this once or twice
before, maybe even three times,but for those that don't know,
(05:26):
running is a big part of my life.
I absolutely love it.
It's something that firsthelped me start to heal and
meditate from the things thatwere going on in my household.
Growing up, growing up in abroken household and in a
(05:47):
household with a longstandingtrend of alcoholism I was very
upset at the world and I didn'thave the best release mechanisms
, meaning that my anger oftenled to breaking things in the
house being closed off, thingsthat were not serving me very
well, because I was holding onto this thing that kept
(06:11):
happening in the house, versuslooking at what is it giving me,
versus carrying a bunch ofextra weight and therefore I
discovered the sport ofwrestling, which then introduced
me to running and started toreally love what it did for me.
(06:31):
Every time I would lace up andgo out and run, I noticed that I
could shut my mind off fromeverything else that was taking
place in my world, everythingthat was going on at home, the
chaotic scenes between myparents.
All of that went away, and sorunning has a very special place
(06:54):
in my heart, and now I get touse it, still as an outlet, as a
form of meditation, but nowalso get to use it to inspire
people to push their bodies,minds and hearts further than
they believed possible, get touse it to positively impact
(07:15):
lives of people that are goingthrough really tough things
right now.
Last few years, we've usedrunning to support families that
have a loved one that'scurrently battling cancer and
donate thousands of dollars tomultiple families in the
Carolinas, and running is also away for me to compete and prove
(07:41):
myself right, which is aconcept I've shared before and
got that from Nick Baer, founderof Baer Performance Nutrition.
Running is a lot of things.
Running is more than running,simply put, and one thing that
pretty much every competitiverunner has on their bucket list
(08:02):
is to compete and qualify forthe Boston Marathon.
The Boston Marathon is specialbecause, of all the world major
marathons between Boston, london, new York, chicago, berlin,
tokyo and, soon to be, sydneyBoston is the only one that
(08:22):
doesn't have a lottery system,meaning that you must qualify or
you can fundraise, but there isno third option, so pretty much
it's qualify or you're notgoing to be competing.
So that in itself makes it veryspecial, and it's the oldest
marathon.
I put this on my goals list in2017 to qualify for the Boston
(08:47):
Marathon, thinking that I wasgoing to be there in 2018 and
nothing was going to stop me.
Little did I know at the timethat running is more than just
going out as hard as you can, asfast as you can, every single
day.
That led to injuries and didnot qualify in 2017.
Did not qualify in 2018.
(09:08):
Got a little bit better attraining, but still wasn't very
good at it and got injured againand not the year.
So 2019 was absolutely going tobe the year Was going to be
running in the 2020 BostonMarathon, without a shadow of a
doubt, training hard.
I've gotten a lot smarter andthis is it.
(09:30):
I've been visualizing thisevery day for years and on
January 23rd I remember cominghome, I was talking to my dad on
the way back from work.
This is I normally would callsomebody and let him know I was
about to go for a run.
It was actually a pretty decentday in Charleston, not too
(09:53):
chilly, and I was going to goget a few miles before the sun
came down pretty much myeveryday six-mile route anywhere
from four to eight.
I believe I was going for sixthat day and got off the phone,
with him, parked my car, tookcare of the dog, got dressed and
(10:14):
started going.
I'm not even 10 minutes intothis run.
I had just taken a left out ofthe apartment complex that I was
living in at the time and aboutto cross the same crosswalk
that I crossed thousands oftimes, and little do we know
(10:34):
that at that crosswalk I got hitby a car and woke up in the
trauma unit at MedicalUniversity of South Carolina,
musc.
So in this intersection I doremember coming to a little bit
(10:55):
and a medic telling me thatyou're going to the hospital.
You must go to the hospital.
I got hit in the crosswalk,went flying from what I heard
from the police officer, wentflying about 15, 20 feet,
something like that, and wasseverely concussed, had a gash
(11:19):
in my head, at the top of myhead, and I was bleeding pretty,
pretty profusely out of my leftside.
I got hit on my right side,landed on my left side, had a
massive hematoma, probablyalmost like a size of a mini
basketball you could have.
You could have gripped it andand had some fun with it.
(11:40):
And, of course, my stubbornself was probably begging and
pleading with the EMTs that Icould just walk home and I'll be
fine.
Heck, I might've even told themI could run.
I don't know, but I know Ididn't want to go and and fast
forward.
I had called my dad again, notto my memory, but now I'm
(12:04):
sharing facts from the witnessesand people that got to
experience this.
I got into the ambulance andcalled my dad, who I'd just
spoken to not long before, and Itold him.
I said, dad, I got hit by a car, I'm going to the hospital.
Said, dad, I got hit by a car,I'm going to the hospital.
(12:31):
Discipline is a key component ofthis podcast and a key thing
that we preach.
We view discipline as the fuelto help you create the life that
you ultimately desire, anddiscipline being the fuel that
gets your habits and systems incheck so that you can actually
accomplish your goals.
If you're looking to level upin 2025, I am happy to be a part
(12:54):
of that and encourage you tojoin the Unshakable Discipline
Mastermind Group.
This has been my baby for acouple years and we're finally
launching it here in 2025.
The group consists of aself-paced course that teaches
you how to form core habits andmindset that will allow you to
(13:14):
accomplish your goals.
A daily accountability channelto keep you on track, motivated
and in alignment with ourmembers, and weekly mastermind
sessions where you're going tolearn from either myself or a
suite of renowned guests manywho have been on the podcast
that are going to share piecesof their winning playbooks
(13:34):
directly with you.
I've learned that being a partof groups over the years has
helped propel me to so many newlevels in life.
If you want to go fast, go alone.
If you want to go far, then gotogether, and it's my wish that
the Unshakable Crew is a choicethat makes sense for you in 2025
(14:00):
.
We are growing up to 100members this year and have
limited time founding memberpricing for 12 more folks before
we permanently increase pricingto $97 a month.
You can get in now for $67 amonth, locked in for life, and
be a part of the adventure thatwe're creating with our members.
(14:24):
If you're somebody that cravesdiscipline, seeks it or wants it
this year, and you're reallycommitted to making lasting
changes in your life and beingaround others that are committed
to winning and serving theworld and sharing what they
learn with others so that wemake this world a better place,
(14:52):
then join the Unshakeable crew.
Go to unshakabledisciplinecomand you can sign up.
It is also in the show notesUnshakeable shake as in
milkshakeunshakabledisciplinecom, and
we're excited to have you in2025.
Let's go dot com and we'reexcited to have you in 2025.
Let's go.
And to my discredit now, ormisfortune, whatever you may
(15:14):
want to describe it as.
At first he didn't believe mebecause I also happen to be the
class clown in the family,jokester prankster, and he
thought that, all right, this isjust Ryan being a jokester,
there's no way.
And of course I don't remembercalling him there.
(15:35):
And I began to call himrepeatedly and then I FaceTimed
him from the ambulance and hesees me in a stretcher with the
neck guard and everything and hesays, holy shit, like you're
not kidding, and he rushes downto charleston, actually got
pulled over by the same policeofficer that responded to to my
(15:59):
scene, because he went to myapartment first, I believe, to
go grab some things, and thenwas driving about 100 miles an
hour down Highway 17 inCharleston and got pulled over
and told the officer why he wasgoing so fast and it was the
same one that responded to myscene and she told him to please
(16:21):
slow down.
But she didn't give him aticket or anything and mentioned
that I was going to be okay.
And I woke up I'm not sure howmany hours later in the trauma
unit and very concussed, butboth of my parents were there in
the room and at that point tothem nothing else mattered but
(16:45):
ensuring that I was okay Because, having spoken with the police
officer after the fact, theyestimated that this SUV that hit
me was going about 30 miles anhour.
So if you do the math, 30 milesan hour SUV times a 155, maybe
(17:08):
160-ish pound person running,the math doesn't add up that
that object hitting the otherlarge object hitting not so
large object the not so largeobject usually diminishes, goes
away, isn't supposed to be here.
And I made it out of there withno broken bones, a messed up
(17:34):
knee, strained like MCL orsomething like that.
Banged up shoulder, someinternal kidney bleeding.
They were monitoring me.
They were getting close totaking me in for surgery to calm
that down, emergency surgery,but fortunately none of that.
Apparently, that was about tobe a reality and again, just
(17:58):
very, very bad concussions.
Went through multiple CAT scanswhile I was there, none of which
I recall.
So the fact that I'm here, Ibelieve, means the big man
definitely has some plans, somethings that I'm meant to do,
some boxes that haven't beenchecked yet.
(18:19):
I'm very grateful, and here'sthe thing that.
Here's one of the things that Igained from that day, but also
a lesson.
So the first lesson from this,based off this story I just told
you, is if you would have putmy parents in the same room on
(18:42):
that same day without me beingin the picture, meaning that I
never got hit by a car and thatjust the two of them entered the
same room together.
There would have been fireworkslike the 4th of July, because
at that point in time and thiswas a few years after their
(19:05):
divorce they were not on thebest of terms.
There were a lot of things thathad come back up from the past,
a lot of things that were beingheld onto that were not serving
them very well and it was notfun to be around either of them.
(19:28):
If they were together, theywould find a way to get away
from each other.
This person's wrong, no, thisperson's wrong, and here's why,
and as the keeper of the peacein the family, it was tough to
see that Fast forward.
(19:48):
Now, what's in the picture isthat their son is in bad
condition.
I don't want to say criticalcondition, because it's not like
I was about to die or up in theICU, but definitely, again,
very scary moment, but critical,we'll call it not so great
(20:08):
condition.
Everything that they wereholding onto at that point,
leading into them being in thatroom together, didn't matter and
it went away.
It went away and after that day, I believe, was one of the
(20:33):
turning points in their nowfriendship, and of course, there
have been some rocky moments,but we'll call it rocky bumps.
Just like any relationship mayhave, or friendship or whatever
the case may be, there's alwaysgoing to be some bumps, but they
became friends again after thatand I believe it was both of
(20:56):
them that recognized in thatmoment all this stuff that we
brought into this room how theyfelt about each other was
insignificant.
So here's the thing Stopcarrying things that aren't
serving you and evaluate if thebeef that you may have with
(21:20):
somebody is that reallysubstantial.
I was talking to my mom earlierthis week about family
relationships and how this dayis coming up, the 23rd, and
here's a question that may beuseful for someone If someone
(21:42):
that you love or really caresabout right now was on their
deathbed, is the thing thatyou're holding on to about them,
would it still be relevant?
I think about that with my dadand his mom and I love them both
to death, dad and his mom, andI love them both to death and I
(22:09):
often have conversations with mydad about what he's holding on
to with her and ask him would itmatter if this was going to be
her last day on earth?
Or would it matter when you'regoing to to see her towards the
end of life?
Or what would really matter,would it be to make the best of
(22:30):
the time you have with them,maybe to clear off any of the
bad graces that you may have.
I'm not suggesting that if youhave something going on with
someone right now to just eraseit, feel your feelings, go
through whatever process youneed to go to, but also ask is
(22:53):
it worth holding on to or is itworth fixing, or does it need to
be held on to anymore?
Is there a lesson that can beextracted from this?
What are you holding onto inlife that's not serving you?
That's the biggest thing, oneof the biggest things that I
(23:14):
think about after this.
And I think about what if I wasmy mom or dad in that moment,
looking at my son and maybe Ididn't, I wasn't a big fan of, I
guess what would have been myex-wife pretending if I'm my dad
(23:35):
, maybe I wasn't a big fan of mymom at the time Would that
really matter in that momentwhen our son is facing what he's
facing?
No, because this is our son,this is our family.
I often have conversations withpeople, especially people that
(23:57):
are in the mastermind group, andoften dig into again their
belief systems.
What are the stories behind thestances?
Are they serving you well?
And find that a lot of peoplecan't get to where they want to
go in life or where theyenvision where they dream of
(24:19):
being in life, because they'reweighed down by all the things
that aren't serving them.
Imagine if you were carrying a100-pound rucksack every day,
everywhere you went, everyinteraction you had, every
gathering, you went toeverything.
You might be able to getthrough some things, but
(24:42):
eventually that rucksack of allthe things that aren't serving
you, it's going to freaking,weigh you down.
You're not going to show uplike you want to, you're not
going to serve people like youwish to, and you're going to
wonder what is it?
What is it that's stopping me?
Sometimes people don't evenrealize what they're holding on
to and how much it's weighingthem down, even realize what
(25:07):
they're holding on to and howmuch it's weighing them down.
So I wish that this serves as anaction for you to evaluate
what's being held on to thatmight not be serving you and
really think about it.
Can it be fixed?
Does it really matter if itcame down to this person being
at the end of their life, wouldI feel the same way and again
(25:28):
feel your feelings?
Feel your feelings, validatethem, but really think through
that, the second thing that thisgave me.
And second lesson, second thingto share with y'all with this
story, not everything happens onyour terms.
(25:51):
So the first lesson was stopcarrying things that don't serve
you and evaluate if what isserving you is really if, or
evaluate if the beef you havewith someone is really
substantial or if it can besolved.
Second one is not everythinghappens on your terms.
So I mentioned that I figuredqualifying for Boston no doubt
(26:15):
was going to take a year.
Little did I know that I wouldbe on that journey for six years
.
Six years beautiful journey, bythe way, because there's some
more fun stuff that happenedalong the way A few more
hospital visits, but not assubstantial as getting hit by a
car.
Not everything happens on yourterms, and one mental reframe
(26:42):
that I have now is there will bebonus chapters.
There will be bonus chapters inlife.
So we are the authors of, anddirectors of, our book.
We're the authors of our bookor we're the director of our
movie, however you may look atlife, whether it's you're
writing a book or you'redirecting a movie.
(27:03):
And, of course, if we got towrite every single chapter or if
we got to direct every singlescene, it would be the greatest
movie and the greatest book ofall time.
It would be amazing.
There would be no divorces, nopeople cheating on each other,
(27:25):
no people murdering people, nosudden losses, nothing.
But not everything happens onour terms and every time
something doesn't go our way youget a bonus chapter in the book
.
For those that are old enough toremember when we actually
listened to CDs and DVDs, howexciting it was when there was
(27:51):
the bonus scenes or the bonussongs on the album, or there was
that second CD or the secondDVD.
That here's all thebehind-the-scenes takes and
here's all the behind the scenestakes and here's all the extra
songs With movies.
Sometimes those behind thescenes takes are the bloopers.
The director didn't write thebloopers, think about it.
(28:14):
The director didn't write thebloopers.
And now they turned it into thisbonus chapter, this bonus
scenes, based off of all thethings that didn't go well
during the recording of themovie, and we sit there and
absolutely embrace it and loveit and appreciate it.
(28:35):
But we don't always do thatwith our own life, as if
everything's always going to goour way.
So I like to think about it ashey, bonus chapters, just like
you would with the CDs, thealbums, the movies, bonus scenes
(28:57):
, awesome.
So this was a bonus chapterthat got written because that
halted all of the 2019qualifying process.
That completely halted it.
We got back on the horse lateron, eventually started running
(29:18):
again in 2019 after healing upand went back out there, wasn't
afraid, Eventually qualified in2022.
So quite a few bonus chapterswritten, but recognize that when
the things don't go your way,folks, not everything's going to
happen on your terms.
(29:38):
Now you get to have some bonuschapters and think about how
sweet those can be and all ofthe lessons that it can give you
.
I'm so grateful to still behere to get to share the story
year in and year out.
This is one of the ones that Ibring up often in my keynote
(30:03):
speeches and share the samelessons that stop carrying
things that aren't serving youwell.
I couldn't imagine that.
Let's just say, january 23rd2019 was my last day.
I couldn't imagine it.
I couldn't imagine it ending,knowing that at the time, I
(30:29):
still had some, some extrabaggage I was holding onto
myself, things that prevented mefrom entering relationships and
getting close to people.
You know all of that has beendropped now and thankfully this
was a result of that.
And recognize that, as much aswe always want things to be on
(30:54):
our plan, and even if we havethe best written plan, most
methodical plan in the entireworld, it still might not go our
way and that is to be embraced.
So, my friends, think about thelessons here.
Think about the stories thatinfluence your stances on things
(31:15):
.
How can you share that withsomebody today or this week to
positively impact them?
Everybody's got a reason behindwhy they do what they do.
Everybody's got a reason behindwhy they say what they say.
I'm telling you, I'm wishingthat you are mindful of what
(31:39):
you're holding on to andrecognize and appreciate that
not everything's going to happenon your terms, because of an
event that took place in my lifethat showed me those two things
and that helped reunite myparents in a tough time and
(32:01):
embrace our bonus chapters andembrace our bonus chapters.
I'm wishing that this servesyou well.
Be of encouragement, be ofservice to somebody today, this
week, this month, this year, andgo out, do amazing things.
Drop the baggage, appreciatethe bonus chapters and win today
(32:42):
.
Thanks so much.
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