#207 | The Unintended Consequences of Ambition: Finding Peace In 'Doing Enough'

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Ever felt like no matter how much you accomplish, it's never enough? You're not alone. Ambition—that driving force behind achievement—can sometimes lead us into what I call "the unintentional abyss of ambition," where periods of stillness or rest become sources of self-criticism rather than rejuvenation.

In this deeply personal episode, I share my own recent struggles with feeling insufficient despite evidence to the contrary. Drawing on Dr. Ben Hardy's powerful concept of "the gap and the gain," we explore why high performers often measure themselves against idealized standards (the gap) rather than acknowledging how far they've come (the gain). Through real examples—from marathon runners fixating on qualifying times rather than celebrating personal records, to my own tendency to overlook the transformative impact of my work because I haven't reached arbitrary numeric goals—we unpack this common mindset trap.

The most powerful moment comes from a community member who lost 30 pounds and completely transformed his relationship with discipline. His journey from believing change was impossible to creating sustainable healthy habits for himself and his family perfectly illustrates the power of living in "the gain." I also recommend Byron Katie's book "Loving What Is: The Work" as a resource for questioning the stories we tell ourselves and optimizing our way of being rather than just our external achievements.

Whether you're building a business, pursuing fitness goals, or working on personal growth, this episode will help you recognize when you're falling into the gap and give you practical tools to shift your perspective. Remember, you are special and amazing—don't let ambition blind you to that truth. Subscribe, share with someone who needs this message, and join my Unshakable Discipline community if you're ready to build sustainable discipline in all areas of your life.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Wednesday podcast, a weekly
resource thoughtfully crafted tohelp people build and refine
discipline, accomplish theirgoals, fortify their mindsets
and be of service to somebody inthis world.
My name is Ryan Cass and I amyour host, and it is my mission
and commitment to deliveramazing episodes to you every
week where you'll learn frommyself or renowned expert in

(00:26):
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We love helping people win inevery aspect of their lives, and
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believe will benefit from it,subscribing and leaving a rating
and review.
We believe that everybody inthis world is meant to do
something great with their livesand we're here to help play a

(00:47):
role in that.
Thank you for tuning in andlet's win today.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
I never thought that there could be consequences to
ambition.
And you might be thinking whatdo you mean?
How could there be aconsequence for being ambitious?
And what I've found over mylife and now being dedicated to
high performance and servingothers and balancing a bunch of

(01:16):
different things at once, isthat there are times where it
then can feel like you're notdoing enough, because you should
always be doing something, orat least that's I'm seeing the
narrative that can take place inthe minds of high performers,
because I often have thisdiscussion with clients, people

(01:40):
in my mastermind, a lot offriends that we will beat
ourselves up so much as highperformers and ambitious people
in periods of stillness or whenwe might not be doing something
that aligns to our goals, ourvisions, our dreams, and it's a

(02:04):
tough place to be in, it's adangerous place to be in at
times, because then it candissolve our visibility for
everything that we've done toget to that very place and that
very moment where we may beexperiencing this thoughts or
pressure of not doing enough ornot being enough, not having

(02:25):
enough.
I've been in a little bit of atough spot lately, and what I'm
grateful for with that is itgives an opportunity to practice
and refine these tools that I'moften putting out into the
world for you, whether it's onthe podcast or within my

(02:49):
mastermind group, the UnshakableDiscipline group in that
community.
It's an opportunity to practicewhat you preach.
So I say that smiling, in thatI'm grateful for the opportunity
to sharpen up the sword alittle bit and this moment, or

(03:10):
these moments recently where I'mcertainly have been feeling a
little down with life situations, and now I get to practice
showing people hey, here's whatyou do when you encounter that
and here's what you do when youmay find yourself in the

(03:34):
unintentional abyss of ambition.
Maybe there's something to besaid there, the unintentional or
the abyss of ambition.
My first reminder is to go backto the gap and the gain approach
and ask yourself are you livingin the gap?
Are you living in the gain?
The gap and the gain, if you'renot familiar, or, as a

(03:56):
refresher, is coined from Dr BenHardy, in that when we're
living in the gain, which iswhere we want to be, in that
when we're living in the gain,which is where we want to be, we
are constantly aware and inrecognition of the journey and
where we've gone and what it hastaken for us to get to this

(04:18):
very moment, right here.
And that can apply to yourpersonal life, to your
professional life, what it hastaken for you to get to that
very moment.
When you're living in the game,you are not in recognition of
the journey and what it took foryou to get there and the
goalpost is constantly movingand you're constantly feeling as

(04:40):
if you're behind, you're notenough, you haven't done enough.
There's more to be had.
Examples of that and living inthe gap.
I'll give you a couple personalones.
One living in the gap In thisvery moment, in that I'm feeling

(05:02):
a little sad down on myself.
I recognize, or rather down onmyself, in that there's more
that, not even more.
How could I have let thishappen?
Could I have let this happen?

(05:31):
How could I have let thesethings happen and been so overly
empathetic to where I was blindto the things I was sacrificing
, and be upset with myself, andI've caught myself in the spot a
few times now.
That's living in the gap,living in the game, gap, living
in the game.
We've got the same situation,but everything that I've done up
to that point to help make itbetter, to help improve myself,

(05:55):
to recognize my anxiousresponses and how those have
improved and in some casesdiminished, and to recognize or
see that I'm making up lessstories in my mind as it relates

(06:16):
to the relationship side of thehouse and I've invested in
resources and therapy to helpcalm the nerves and understand
and recognize triggers better.
That is living in the game andthat getting to this very moment
, right here there have been somany improvements made.

(06:38):
Living in the gap from aphysical perspective because I
hear this one a lot.
Living in the gap from aphysical perspective because I
hear this one a lot someone justran a 259 marathon and maybe
they're upset because it wasn'ta 255.
Now the new Boston qualifyingstandard, and they completely

(07:00):
forget about everything that ittook for them to run that 259,
even if that 259 was a PR, itcould have been a massive PR.
Living in the gap means that,oh well, the new target now is
255.
The hell with the PR, or I'mmad because it's not 250.
And the goalpost is constantlychanging and then when you run

(07:20):
that 255, then you're upset thatit wasn't a 245.
Is constantly changing and thenwhen you run that 255, then
you're upset that it wasn't a245.
That is living in the gap.
My friends, the consequence ofambition can put us in the gap,
often because we're not takingtime to ask the questions and do

(07:42):
the homework and take note ofeverything that could be
influencing our way of being.
One thing that I was beatingmyself up about is that, with
the unshakable community, from anumbers perspective, it's not
where I want it to be, meaning,you know, enrolling 100 members

(08:05):
and I was beating myself upabout that for a little bit, and
that certainly there's.
There's things to be done andthings in work right now to help
get that back on the horse, butthe people that are in are
making amazing, amazingtransformations and progress.
So while I was catching myselfin the gap the other day, here's

(08:29):
something that came throughfrom one of the members in the
group, an incredible testimonial.
Working with Ryan Cass over thelast 180 days has completely
transformed me inside and out.
With his guidance, I'vedeveloped unshakable discipline
in my mind and my body.
I've lost 30 pounds, but, moreimportantly, I've gained clarity

(08:52):
, consistency and confidencethat I never had before.
This isn't just a physicalchange.
It's a lifestyle shift.
Ryan didn't just give me a plan.
He helped me build a mindset ofaccountability, focus and inner
strength.
I'm not the same person.
I was months ago and I'm nevergoing back.
That's from a gentleman thatthe first time I had a phone

(09:14):
call with him one of the firstphone calls we had he talked
about how, when presented withtwo food choices, whether it's
the cheeseburger or the salad,he can't possibly choose the
salad and there's no way that hecan stop with his diet and
eating the things that he wantsand the temptations.
There's no way His words To now.

(09:38):
For months, every Tuesday andwe have our call he's taking his
whole family to the gym.
Living in the gap would becompletely disregarding that,
because there's not 100 peoplein the group and everything it
took to even form this group toput it out there in the world,

(09:58):
to push past the thoughts ofwhat are other people going to
say and think.
Here's the secret most peoplearen't thinking about you as
much as you imagine.
Meaning we'll put these storiesin our minds, that man, they're
going to make so much fun of meand they're going to think this
and that and this and that andthis, and that they're probably

(10:21):
thinking the same thing aboutsomebody else.
Meaning it's these storieswe're putting in our minds.
So my wish for you all thisweek is that, as you may be
going through somethingdifficult or encounter something
difficult in the future, tolive in the game and catch

(10:42):
yourself whenever you're in thegap.
It's normal for anybody to fallinto the gap.
Don't lose sight of what ittook for you to get to where you
are right now.
I encourage you to consistentlytake inventory so that you can
optimize your way of being.
There's an amazing book calledthe Work that I've been reading

(11:10):
through and it's all about howto again optimize your way of
being, to not create so manystories in your minds Loving
what Is the work by Byron Katie.

(11:30):
Loving what Is by Byron Katie.
Highly recommend checking thatout so that you can optimize
your way of being, not fallvictim to ambition and the
unintended consequences that itmay bring.
You are special.

(11:53):
You're amazing.
I encourage you, encourage youto live in the game and win
today.
Thank you.