April 22, 2024 • 29 mins
All Things change, so why not create the change before it creates challenge. Allow it to be part of your mindset. If you don't want those challenges to push you into arenas you never wanted, then be in charge of the change. You need to be the one who dictates your mindset and how your life will move forward. Believe that what you want is what you were meant to experience. Believe it, and believe it now.
Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Mindset Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You!
Highlights:
Control Your Challenges
Embrace The Peace You Create
Dictate How Your Life Will Change
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Bets Danko (00:03):
It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a
new healthy habit. Kick up yourfeet and listen in. This is
Wisdom & Chocolate.
This is Bets Danko, and you'relistening to Wisdom & Chocolate.
Hey, great to have you here.
We're gonna be talking about alot of stuff today, which I'm
pretty sure it's gonna hit home,so sit back and listen in,
(00:26):
because we are going to betalking about you. Isn't that
the best, when people tell youthey're going to be talking
about you? Not always, right?
Sometimes, what people are gonnasay when they're talking about
you, uh, yeah, you don't want tohear it, right? But trust me,
when I tell you that when I'mgoing to be talking about you,
(00:48):
it is coming from a place oflove, and definitely a place of
growth. So, the very first thingwe're going to talk about is
your challenges, the things thatyou're facing on a day to day
basis, or sometimes we don'tfeel like we're facing
challenges at all, and then allthe sudden something sort of
(01:09):
comes into play, and you'relike, "What the heck is this?
I'm not used to this kind ofchallenge." Well, any challenge,
no matter when it hits you, hasvalue in your life. However, we
need to make sure that whenthose challenges hit, that we're
not allowing those challenges toknock us over; we're not
(01:32):
allowing them to take us over.
We don't want those things to beslowing us down when we're
trying to achieve something. Sodon't allow your challengers to
push you in arenas you nevereven wanted.
I know that when I'm faced withsomething I don't want to slow
down, I don't want to take moretime, I just want to get things
(01:54):
done. And I know that's part ofmy personality, because I am not
very patient, I want things whenI want them, and I want them the
way I want them when I wantthem, and that's kind of how I
am. And so, when something comesinto play that is trying to slow
me down, I get really annoyed, Idon't even want to deal with it,
(02:18):
and I go into solution mode,like, before it even hits the
fan, you know what I'm saying?
Like, I am already trying tofigure out what to do, so don't,
I, so that I don't have to workany harder than I have to and I
don't have to wait any longerthan I have to, that's kind of
part of my personality. However,sometimes when I react that way,
(02:38):
and I just want a solution now,a different kind of thing
happens, and that different kindof thing is this. I start
reacting and putting somethingelse into play before allowing
myself the opportunity to workthrough getting things done the
way I originally planned, andthen I miss out on something
(03:01):
good. So this is what I'mtalking about. I'm just kind of
trudging along, doing my ownthing, all of a sudden, a
challenge comes into play. And Ihave been on this path for a
while, and I knew the path wasgonna take me some time, but I
was sort of devoted to it, like,it, I'm all in, I'm really going
for it, all the sudden thechallenge comes into play, and
(03:24):
I'm like, oh, Plan B, and then Ijust go on to something new.
Meanwhile, if I had allowedmyself to work through the
challenge, the rewards on thefirst path would have been so
much greater.
So, it's really important whenwe are facing challenges, that
(03:46):
we give ourselves an opportunityto see with the challenges there
to teach us. And also to get aview, even if from afar, of what
we may accomplish by stickingthe course, like staying right
there, doing what needs to bedone, and working through the
challenge. I know that I don'twant to allow my challengers to
(04:10):
push me into arenas I neverwanted. I want the thing I
wanted from the beginning, likeI said, I'm not somebody who
wants to deal with problems. I'drather work through them, or
find a totally different course.
That's what I'm all about. Butthe arenas that I never wanted
sometimes take hold without merealizing I've allowed that to
(04:35):
happen.
So what's the solution? What doyou do? Here's the thing: be
patient, take your time, look atthe situation, maybe even
stopped like full stop and go,"Hey, I'm not making another
choice until I understand what'sgoing on now," and then act.
(04:59):
Like, literally pull yourselfout of the situation so that you
can gain clarity, oh I love thatword, clarity, gain clarity
before you move forward. This isreally, really important.
Clarity is important no matterwhat it is that you're doing,
whether you're faced with achallenge, or you are moving
forward as planned, you need toknow where you're headed, why
(05:23):
you're headed there, and what itis that you wish to accomplish
by getting there.
So, slow yourself down, allowpatience to set in, maybe say no
to a few things. Ooh, what aconcept, right? Maybe say no to
a few things, and then moveforward. The arenas that you
(05:46):
want to move into are the onesthat are most fulfilling, and
sometimes the more difficultpath is the one which is most
fulfilling. Why? Because youworked for it, you put in the
time, you thought thingsthrough, you learned along the
way, you became somebody thatother people can look up to
(06:07):
because of how much you put intothat. Definitely stick the
course if that is the way youbelieve you can avoid the
arena's you never, ever wanted.
So I was thinking this morningabout my midsummer reset
retreat, and there was a momenta few years ago, which was just
(06:30):
so terribly unfortunate, butbecause of how I handled it, I
ended up in a far better placenow than I was in then. And the
reason I say that it was a farbetter place is not only because
I made great choices at thetime, but because now my success
(06:52):
level is much higher, and myability to touch people is much
deeper, and my ability toinspire people to change their
lives is like through the roof,and I am just so, I'm feeling so
blessed for how things turnedout. But let me dial back the
clock a little bit and give youa little bit of an understanding
(07:15):
of what was happening. Now, Ihad decided that I wanted to do
live retreats before 2020 waseven a thing. I wanted to bring
my retreats, which I had beendoing in my home, to a larger
audience and have it in a biggervenue, and I really wanted to
develop my skills for speakingand for presentation. And so I
(07:40):
connected with this gentlemanwho I had known for a tiny bit
of time, and he had a venue, andhe said, "You know what, I
really want this kind ofactivity in my space, so I'm
gonna give you this amazingdeal, and as you get bigger as
it gets better, then I'll startmaking more money. But for right
now, let's just bring positiveenergy to this location and just
(08:04):
really kill it." Awesome. What aperfect deal. And every time I
held a retreat, I paid him alittle bit more, even though I
wasn't making any money, like Iliterally was making nothing. In
fact, most of the time I waspaying money to make sure that
the event was happening. I knewthat this route was the route to
(08:28):
go because I had learning to do,and I had people to touch, and I
didn't want to leave anyonebehind. So then 2020 happened,
and a lot of things were in playat that time, but one of the
most unfortunate things was thatthe bee encounter happened.
For those of you who haven'tbeen following for very long,
(08:49):
let me give you a little bit ofinformation on that. I had an
in-ground bees nest in mygarden. I knew about it, but my
son had been helping me moverocks, he dropped a rock on the
nest, and so that got the beessort of anxious and upset, he
got stung. And so we knew thatthe bees were a little bit more
(09:12):
active, but these seemed likethey were calming down. So I was
gardening several feet from thenest, like I was pretty far from
the nest, and all of a sudden abee comes right at me, and then
other bees come right at me, andit's this, it was like a cartoon
man. It was like, I'm runningout of the garden in these
(09:32):
rubber boots, something youshould never be running in a
cross stone, and I'm running outof the garden, and there is like
this group of bees, I don't evenknow how many because I'm just
trying to run, and they're like,you can see them in the
periphery and whatever. Andfinally they they're not
following me anymore, and I'mfull of adrenaline so I don't
(09:54):
even realize that I have totallybroken my ankle, ripped up off
the tendons, like, I havecompletely destroyed my ankle.
So imagine this, and imagine noincome, right? So there are no
doctors to go to, there's likeno, nothing for me to do,
really, except to take out mymother's old wheelchair and
(10:19):
navigate my life in awheelchair. And then we happen
to have crutches as well, so Iwas navigating on crutches when
I could.
And so here I am, at thislocation, it's a midsummer reset
retreat, I have gotten up thestairs, and I'm now wheeling
myself around in a wheelchair,and I get a phone call from the
(10:40):
owner of the location who breaksit to me that he's not making
enough money, so I need toeither pay him more, or I need
to get out. And I'm like, what?
And this is one of thesituations where the challenge
could have pushed me into arenasthat I never wanted to be in.
And at that moment, one of thosearenas could have been me
(11:02):
lashing out. "What? Like, we hada deal, and 2020, and no money,"
and I like literally, I not onlyhad the retreat going, but I had
invited a bunch of people tocome who did not pay, and it was
costing me several hundreds ofdollars to hold this event. And
(11:22):
I just was like, I have to bethe light, I have to be the
person that keeps going, thatkeeps giving hope, like I have
to be here, and I was very kindon the phone, I made the choice
in the moment to be very kind.
And in the back of my head, Iwas thinking, "This is it,
(11:44):
there'll be no more retreats,I'm never going to be able to
get this done. Like, everythingis falling apart around me,"
like, this is what was happeningin my head. But I kept it
together, I didn't let on toanyone there that any of the
stuff was going on, and abeautiful thing happened. I kept
(12:05):
my cool, I, I was sort ofdevastated by the news, so I
made no new choices, no newdecisions, nothing really was
coming, I had dates chosen forthe next retreat in the winter,
but who knows if it's happening,right? And I make a phone call,
or I texted actually, a friendwho I knew was working on a new
(12:27):
venue, and I just was curious, Ihad no idea. Like, I really
wasn't at all thinking this ismy new location to have this
retreat, I just was curious howit was going with him, did he,
like, get the new venue going,like what's going on? And I went
out to visit and I saw what hewas working on, and this is now
(12:51):
the location of the midwinterand mid summer resets, and this
is so phenomenal. This retreatcenter is like I can't even tell
you how much better thislocation is than the one that I
was at. I'm still very gratefulfor the gentleman who gave me my
start in the other location, butthe blessing of having this new
(13:15):
location is just absolutelyinsane, and I'm grateful every
single day. And one of the mainreasons I am grateful is because
of what happened that first timearound. The challenge of keeping
the retreat going when so manypeople had no money, and we
were, you know, challenged withhaving to keep people separated
(13:37):
from one another, many peoplecoming in masks, it was like it
was it was such a challenge, butI had to keep going, I had to
keep going. And it ended upbeing a humongous blessing to
the point where I have grown insize with my company, I have
touched far more people, I'vebeen given the opportunity to
(13:57):
have retreats in more locationsbecause of the success of of the
retreat here, and I, my mind isabsolutely blown. I didn't allow
the challenge to take me over tothe point where I said, "Okay,
well this is it, I'm done." Youknow? I didn't allow that
challenge to get me to the pointwhere I was just, like,
(14:20):
completely crushed it, and, andnot full of any more dreams.
Like, I didn't allow it to tearme down. I was stuck in the
shock of it going, how do I keepit going? What do I do? And I
kept everything open, so thatwhen the new opportunity came, I
was ready for it. And eventhough there were still things
(14:43):
that needed to be done with thenew opportunity, I knew that
this was the place to be and, Iam so, so, so grateful for that.
Don't allow your challengers topush you to arenas that you
never wanted to be in, andinstead, allow those challenge
to open your mind, allow them tokeep you refreshed, allow them
(15:07):
to have you looking for newpossibilities, and allow them to
help you to understand yourblessings. When the challenges
are there, and it seems likethere's no way out or no way
forward, there is a blessingwaiting for you somewhere and it
(15:27):
may not look at all like thefirst place you thought you
needed to be at, it may besomething completely new and
different, but it is there, andit is waiting for you, and it is
filled with opportunities if youallow yourself to remain open to
accepting those possibilities.
So today for the chocolatemoment, I am talking about the
(15:51):
Vermont Nut-Free Chocolate, 100%Peanut and Nut-Free Dark
Chocolate Skippers. So if you'rea person who loves your m&ms,
but you just can't go thereanymore, like, you know, I don't
know what it is about m&mchocolate, but just affects me
completely different, and Idon't think it's just the milk
(16:11):
in there, you know, saying. Soif you are like me, and you're
looking for an alternative, andyou're looking for something
that has a few less ingredients,'cause there are a lot of
ingredients in these, this mightbe a thing for you. So faced
with a challenge with regularconventional chocolate? Maybe
switch to something that givesyou more options. Now, this
(16:36):
particular one, I have to admit,they're not m&ms, they're,
they're not. But they are reallygood, and if you're looking for
an alternative, this isdefinitely a way to go. And this
is a situation where you mightbe faced with challenges, but if
you open your mind, you may findthat this is a great alternative
for you.
(16:57):
So I want to talk to you alittle bit about peace. And
believe me, there is a way tolink peace back to dark
chocolate skippers, you justwait and see. Because we don't
just talk about chocolate, andwe don't just encourage healthy
chocolate eating, but we alsoencourage recognizing some of
(17:20):
the things in your life are verymuch linked to one another. Some
of the things that you do,there's a reason why it hits
with you. Like, I was thinkingthe other day about, like going
to a store and, and clothesshopping, and I look at certain
things and go "Why would anyoneever want to wear that?" And I
(17:41):
know for sure that people arelooking at me sometimes going
"What is she wearing?" I knowthat for a fact, but I like to
dress in a way that reflects mypersonality, so you will see me
with animal prints and brightcolors and the whole shebang.
Authenticity is important, soyou got to own who you are on
(18:02):
the inside and allow it toproject to the outside. So I'm
sitting there looking atclothing at a store a few days
ago, and I'm looking at all thedifferent options of tops, and I
kept thinking "who would wearthat, who would wear that, who
would wear that?" Which is veryfunny, like, if you know me
personally, and you've seen someof the things that I wear, it's
(18:24):
it's actually even funnier thatI would be concerned that people
would be choosing this or that.
But we all have our differentstyle, we all have a different
way of expressing ourselves andseeing ourselves in the world.
And there are times, I have toadmit, where we need to dress to
fit the occasion. So, forinstance, I have a speaking
(18:46):
engagement and about a month andI know that it's more corporate
events, so I will be dressed,there will be purple, but I will
be dressed for a more corporatesetting. I might have some fancy
shoes on, we don't know, but Itry to tone down the way that I
dress and still express myselfat the same time, and this gives
(19:07):
me peace. Expressing myself inan authentic way gives me peace,
and recognizing that I am beingauthentic in the way that I'm
representing myself in a groupsetting, that gives me peace.
Because you see, people can tellwho I am, and maybe when I'm
(19:28):
about, without even talking tome.
Now, I think it's kind of afunny thing, I do have a lot of
corporate background andadvertising and all of that kind
of thing, so when you see me youmay not recognize that, like, if
I'm wearing a big purple animalprint something something, and,
(19:49):
and you like see that you mightnot think "oh, she worked at a
brokerage firm." You may notthink that, but authentically,
on the inside, I love color, andI love pattern, and I love
expression, and I love toinspire smiles in people. And so
(20:11):
if I am coming at my look, andthe way that I present myself in
a very authentic way, I have theability to touch more people.
When we're masquerading aroundin a way that doesn't really
suit who we are on the inside,people don't know if they can
trust us, if they can talk tous, like, they don't know what
(20:36):
we're about, then. And sometimesthe mystery is cool, don't get
me wrong, but there are timeswhen being authentically who we
are on the inside can be veryhelpful in group situations. So
if you're in a store, and you'repicking out, I don't know, a
stripe when I'm going for ananimal print, I may not
(20:56):
understand your choice, becauseI'm looking at you going, "what,
you see way more fun than thatstripe," but if you pair it with
something that is incrediblycool, like, I don't know, some
bright color or whatever, itmight make more sense to me and
I will feel more comfortable andsafe talking to you, because I
know that you know who you are.
Do you follow what I'm saying?
(21:19):
So while I was sitting therethinking about clothes shopping,
and the way people head intostores, and whatever, I was
thinking how cool it would be,if all of us started reflecting
on the outside who we are on theinside. And you know, for some
of us, maybe some limitationwould be good. Like, I don't
know that I'd really want towear, I don't know, animal print
(21:41):
from head to toe. That's notquite who I'm all about. Like,
that's maybe too authentic. Ilike to tone things down a
little bit. But if we could allproject who we are truly in our
hearts, the value of who we are,then wow, we can have a much
(22:03):
easier time communicating withone another, and we could value
one another so much more. Andthat's one of the reasons why I
chose the dark chocolateskippers today. Like, maybe, you
know, you, you are like me, andgoing for a conventional
chocolate is just not in thecards. Maybe you need to, again,
(22:25):
like me, go for chocolates thatare dark, and have very few
ingredients so that you canreally maximize the
antioxidants, and you can reallymake sure that what it is that
you're eating is somethingyou're not going to react to.
Maybe you are in that category,so you when you go for that kind
of chocolate, you get peace fromthat. But one of the lovely
(22:48):
things about m&ms, or in thiscase, the skippers, they're all
different colors. They're allsort of wild in the way that
they look when you hold them inyour hand. It's like skittles as
well, or, um, giggles, which issort of the healthier version of
a Skittle. Like, they're funbecause they're so colorful, so
(23:08):
this would be a way of of beingauthentic, authentic and
expressing yourself, and givingyourself peace because you know
that you reflecting what you areon the inside, on the outside,
which is fun, and and crazy, andawesome, and easy to talk to,
and a lot more courageous than,perhaps, you're expressing right
(23:32):
now.
So let chocolate remind you ofpeace. Let color and vibrancy,
remind you of peace. Allow whatyou feel on the inside, the
authentic you, the person whoisn't jaded by other people's
opinions, allow that to remindyou of peace, and then live
(23:53):
that. You will achieve what yourmind believes, so if you are
believing in limitation, you'renever going to make it. Ouch,
that was really harsh, right?
But it's true, it's true. Ifyou're constantly thinking of
the limitations, you will neverfind your path. So in that
moment when that gentleman toldme, "Hey, give me more money or
(24:14):
you're out," I could have veryeasily said "Oh man, that's it,
I'm done, I'm screwed, this isnever going to happen, I guess
I'm closing up shop." No, Iwondered if it was the end, I
wondered how I was going to keepgoing, but I hadn't thrown in
the towel, I still had dateschosen for future events, and I
(24:35):
just sat back and I waited,because I knew, I knew even
though the path I had envisionedwas no longer there, that some
new situation was going to come.
You will achieve what your mindbelieves, so leave the door open
and challenging moments. Don'tallow your challengers to push
(24:58):
you into arenas you never wantedgo. Allow the challenges to open
up doors you can look into andsay "is that the direction I
want to go?" But don't allowyourself to be pushed somewhere
you don't want to go. What?
Like, who wants that? Nobody.
Nobody wants to be pushed to dothings they don't want to do.
(25:18):
Believe that what you're meantto experience is what is in your
life, like believe it right now.
And this is a hard one, I know,for some people, you've, it's a
hard concept. Because if you'regoing, "I want to be a
millionaire," and I'm tellingyou, "you need to believe what
you want is in your life rightnow," and you're like, "yeah,
(25:39):
but there's like $2 in myaccount right now, that doesn't
even make sense, I don't havethe million dollars," what I'm
saying is, your mindset needs tobe that of a person who has the
million dollars. Your mindsetneeds to be that of the person
who is full of the success thatyou wish to see, your mindset
(25:59):
needs to be that of a handful ofcolored chocolate, the
excitement, the vibrance, theyumminess, that is what your
mindset needs to be.
All Things change, so why notcreate the change before it even
(26:21):
becomes materialized in yourlife. Allow it to be part of
your mindset. If you don't wantthose challenges to push you
into arenas you never wanted,then tell yourself that you're
not going to be doing anything,unless you decide it's where you
want to be. Allow yourself tosay to yourself, "I am only
(26:43):
going to make choices that bringpeace to my life," and then do
that. All things change, youneed to be in charge of the
change. You need to be the onewho dictates what your mindset
is going to be and how your lifeis going to be moving forward.
(27:04):
What is meant to be in your lifewill come to you, and will come
back to you no matter how far ithas to travel. But it will only
do that if you believe that thatis how it is meant to be.
Believe that what you want iswhat you were meant to
experience. Believe it, andbelieve it now, and then you
(27:27):
will achieve what your mindbelieves, it is so incredibly
amazing. Now, if, again, Ialways use this example, but
trust me, if you're believingthat you're the queen of
England, there's a lot at playthere. So you need to make sure
that what you believe isactually something you can
attain, because if you're not inthe bloodline to become a king
(27:51):
or queen of England, it's notgoing to happen my love, so you
need to stay realistic about it,but you also need to step beyond
the comfort zone of where you'reat right now. You're the one in
charge, you are the one who canstep into an arena you want to
be in, you are the one whodictates what your path is going
(28:13):
to be. Why? Because you've gotthe superpower of choice. So
make a choice now. Reach for thechocolate skippers, reach for
the color and the pattern andthe vibrancy. Choose a life now
that you know that you weremeant to have, and then allow
(28:35):
the doors to open in front ofyou and then choose which door
you will go into.
I am determined to increaseself-awareness and help people
to really value what it is thatis special about who they are
and what they can bring to theworld. And with that in mind, I
designed to this fabulousprogram called Celebrate You to
(28:58):
help you slow down and payattention to what's going on in
your life, so that you can findvalue at every turn, and to
design a life that is morefulfilling. So do a little
extra. Start Celebrating You bychecking out Celebrate You on
BetsDanko.Com and signing uptoday.
Experience the Wisdom that helpsto Motivate and Empower you in
(29:22):
relationships, business, family,and most importantly,
self-celebration. Getting thepicture? It's Wisdom and it's
all about you. Want to hear theChocolate? Tune in to Wisdom &
Chocolate weekly.
It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a
new healthy habit. Kick up yourfeet and listen in. This is
Wisdom & Chocolate.
This is Bets Danko, and you'relistening to Wisdom & Chocolate.
Hey, great to have you here.
We're gonna be talking about alot of stuff today, which I'm
pretty sure it's gonna hit home,so sit back and listen in,
(00:26):
because we are going to betalking about you. Isn't that
the best, when people tell youthey're going to be talking
about you? Not always, right?
Sometimes, what people are gonnasay when they're talking about
you, uh, yeah, you don't want tohear it, right? But trust me,
when I tell you that when I'mgoing to be talking about you,
(00:48):
it is coming from a place oflove, and definitely a place of
growth. So, the very first thingwe're going to talk about is
your challenges, the things thatyou're facing on a day to day
basis, or sometimes we don'tfeel like we're facing
challenges at all, and then allthe sudden something sort of
(01:09):
comes into play, and you'relike, "What the heck is this?
I'm not used to this kind ofchallenge." Well, any challenge,
no matter when it hits you, hasvalue in your life. However, we
need to make sure that whenthose challenges hit, that we're
not allowing those challenges toknock us over; we're not
(01:32):
allowing them to take us over.
We don't want those things to beslowing us down when we're
trying to achieve something. Sodon't allow your challengers to
push you in arenas you nevereven wanted.
I know that when I'm faced withsomething I don't want to slow
down, I don't want to take moretime, I just want to get things
(01:54):
done. And I know that's part ofmy personality, because I am not
very patient, I want things whenI want them, and I want them the
way I want them when I wantthem, and that's kind of how I
am. And so, when something comesinto play that is trying to slow
me down, I get really annoyed, Idon't even want to deal with it,
(02:18):
and I go into solution mode,like, before it even hits the
fan, you know what I'm saying?
Like, I am already trying tofigure out what to do, so don't,
I, so that I don't have to workany harder than I have to and I
don't have to wait any longerthan I have to, that's kind of
part of my personality. However,sometimes when I react that way,
(02:38):
and I just want a solution now,a different kind of thing
happens, and that different kindof thing is this. I start
reacting and putting somethingelse into play before allowing
myself the opportunity to workthrough getting things done the
way I originally planned, andthen I miss out on something
(03:01):
good. So this is what I'mtalking about. I'm just kind of
trudging along, doing my ownthing, all of a sudden, a
challenge comes into play. And Ihave been on this path for a
while, and I knew the path wasgonna take me some time, but I
was sort of devoted to it, like,it, I'm all in, I'm really going
for it, all the sudden thechallenge comes into play, and
(03:24):
I'm like, oh, Plan B, and then Ijust go on to something new.
Meanwhile, if I had allowedmyself to work through the
challenge, the rewards on thefirst path would have been so
much greater.
So, it's really important whenwe are facing challenges, that
(03:46):
we give ourselves an opportunityto see with the challenges there
to teach us. And also to get aview, even if from afar, of what
we may accomplish by stickingthe course, like staying right
there, doing what needs to bedone, and working through the
challenge. I know that I don'twant to allow my challengers to
(04:10):
push me into arenas I neverwanted. I want the thing I
wanted from the beginning, likeI said, I'm not somebody who
wants to deal with problems. I'drather work through them, or
find a totally different course.
That's what I'm all about. Butthe arenas that I never wanted
sometimes take hold without merealizing I've allowed that to
(04:35):
happen.
So what's the solution? What doyou do? Here's the thing: be
patient, take your time, look atthe situation, maybe even
stopped like full stop and go,"Hey, I'm not making another
choice until I understand what'sgoing on now," and then act.
(04:59):
Like, literally pull yourselfout of the situation so that you
can gain clarity, oh I love thatword, clarity, gain clarity
before you move forward. This isreally, really important.
Clarity is important no matterwhat it is that you're doing,
whether you're faced with achallenge, or you are moving
forward as planned, you need toknow where you're headed, why
(05:23):
you're headed there, and what itis that you wish to accomplish
by getting there.
So, slow yourself down, allowpatience to set in, maybe say no
to a few things. Ooh, what aconcept, right? Maybe say no to
a few things, and then moveforward. The arenas that you
(05:46):
want to move into are the onesthat are most fulfilling, and
sometimes the more difficultpath is the one which is most
fulfilling. Why? Because youworked for it, you put in the
time, you thought thingsthrough, you learned along the
way, you became somebody thatother people can look up to
(06:07):
because of how much you put intothat. Definitely stick the
course if that is the way youbelieve you can avoid the
arena's you never, ever wanted.
So I was thinking this morningabout my midsummer reset
retreat, and there was a momenta few years ago, which was just
(06:30):
so terribly unfortunate, butbecause of how I handled it, I
ended up in a far better placenow than I was in then. And the
reason I say that it was a farbetter place is not only because
I made great choices at thetime, but because now my success
(06:52):
level is much higher, and myability to touch people is much
deeper, and my ability toinspire people to change their
lives is like through the roof,and I am just so, I'm feeling so
blessed for how things turnedout. But let me dial back the
clock a little bit and give youa little bit of an understanding
(07:15):
of what was happening. Now, Ihad decided that I wanted to do
live retreats before 2020 waseven a thing. I wanted to bring
my retreats, which I had beendoing in my home, to a larger
audience and have it in a biggervenue, and I really wanted to
develop my skills for speakingand for presentation. And so I
(07:40):
connected with this gentlemanwho I had known for a tiny bit
of time, and he had a venue, andhe said, "You know what, I
really want this kind ofactivity in my space, so I'm
gonna give you this amazingdeal, and as you get bigger as
it gets better, then I'll startmaking more money. But for right
now, let's just bring positiveenergy to this location and just
(08:04):
really kill it." Awesome. What aperfect deal. And every time I
held a retreat, I paid him alittle bit more, even though I
wasn't making any money, like Iliterally was making nothing. In
fact, most of the time I waspaying money to make sure that
the event was happening. I knewthat this route was the route to
(08:28):
go because I had learning to do,and I had people to touch, and I
didn't want to leave anyonebehind. So then 2020 happened,
and a lot of things were in playat that time, but one of the
most unfortunate things was thatthe bee encounter happened.
For those of you who haven'tbeen following for very long,
(08:49):
let me give you a little bit ofinformation on that. I had an
in-ground bees nest in mygarden. I knew about it, but my
son had been helping me moverocks, he dropped a rock on the
nest, and so that got the beessort of anxious and upset, he
got stung. And so we knew thatthe bees were a little bit more
(09:12):
active, but these seemed likethey were calming down. So I was
gardening several feet from thenest, like I was pretty far from
the nest, and all of a sudden abee comes right at me, and then
other bees come right at me, andit's this, it was like a cartoon
man. It was like, I'm runningout of the garden in these
(09:32):
rubber boots, something youshould never be running in a
cross stone, and I'm running outof the garden, and there is like
this group of bees, I don't evenknow how many because I'm just
trying to run, and they're like,you can see them in the
periphery and whatever. Andfinally they they're not
following me anymore, and I'mfull of adrenaline so I don't
(09:54):
even realize that I have totallybroken my ankle, ripped up off
the tendons, like, I havecompletely destroyed my ankle.
So imagine this, and imagine noincome, right? So there are no
doctors to go to, there's likeno, nothing for me to do,
really, except to take out mymother's old wheelchair and
(10:19):
navigate my life in awheelchair. And then we happen
to have crutches as well, so Iwas navigating on crutches when
I could.
And so here I am, at thislocation, it's a midsummer reset
retreat, I have gotten up thestairs, and I'm now wheeling
myself around in a wheelchair,and I get a phone call from the
(10:40):
owner of the location who breaksit to me that he's not making
enough money, so I need toeither pay him more, or I need
to get out. And I'm like, what?
And this is one of thesituations where the challenge
could have pushed me into arenasthat I never wanted to be in.
And at that moment, one of thosearenas could have been me
(11:02):
lashing out. "What? Like, we hada deal, and 2020, and no money,"
and I like literally, I not onlyhad the retreat going, but I had
invited a bunch of people tocome who did not pay, and it was
costing me several hundreds ofdollars to hold this event. And
(11:22):
I just was like, I have to bethe light, I have to be the
person that keeps going, thatkeeps giving hope, like I have
to be here, and I was very kindon the phone, I made the choice
in the moment to be very kind.
And in the back of my head, Iwas thinking, "This is it,
(11:44):
there'll be no more retreats,I'm never going to be able to
get this done. Like, everythingis falling apart around me,"
like, this is what was happeningin my head. But I kept it
together, I didn't let on toanyone there that any of the
stuff was going on, and abeautiful thing happened. I kept
(12:05):
my cool, I, I was sort ofdevastated by the news, so I
made no new choices, no newdecisions, nothing really was
coming, I had dates chosen forthe next retreat in the winter,
but who knows if it's happening,right? And I make a phone call,
or I texted actually, a friendwho I knew was working on a new
(12:27):
venue, and I just was curious, Ihad no idea. Like, I really
wasn't at all thinking this ismy new location to have this
retreat, I just was curious howit was going with him, did he,
like, get the new venue going,like what's going on? And I went
out to visit and I saw what hewas working on, and this is now
(12:51):
the location of the midwinterand mid summer resets, and this
is so phenomenal. This retreatcenter is like I can't even tell
you how much better thislocation is than the one that I
was at. I'm still very gratefulfor the gentleman who gave me my
start in the other location, butthe blessing of having this new
(13:15):
location is just absolutelyinsane, and I'm grateful every
single day. And one of the mainreasons I am grateful is because
of what happened that first timearound. The challenge of keeping
the retreat going when so manypeople had no money, and we
were, you know, challenged withhaving to keep people separated
(13:37):
from one another, many peoplecoming in masks, it was like it
was it was such a challenge, butI had to keep going, I had to
keep going. And it ended upbeing a humongous blessing to
the point where I have grown insize with my company, I have
touched far more people, I'vebeen given the opportunity to
(13:57):
have retreats in more locationsbecause of the success of of the
retreat here, and I, my mind isabsolutely blown. I didn't allow
the challenge to take me over tothe point where I said, "Okay,
well this is it, I'm done." Youknow? I didn't allow that
challenge to get me to the pointwhere I was just, like,
(14:20):
completely crushed it, and, andnot full of any more dreams.
Like, I didn't allow it to tearme down. I was stuck in the
shock of it going, how do I keepit going? What do I do? And I
kept everything open, so thatwhen the new opportunity came, I
was ready for it. And eventhough there were still things
(14:43):
that needed to be done with thenew opportunity, I knew that
this was the place to be and, Iam so, so, so grateful for that.
Don't allow your challengers topush you to arenas that you
never wanted to be in, andinstead, allow those challenge
to open your mind, allow them tokeep you refreshed, allow them
(15:07):
to have you looking for newpossibilities, and allow them to
help you to understand yourblessings. When the challenges
are there, and it seems likethere's no way out or no way
forward, there is a blessingwaiting for you somewhere and it
(15:27):
may not look at all like thefirst place you thought you
needed to be at, it may besomething completely new and
different, but it is there, andit is waiting for you, and it is
filled with opportunities if youallow yourself to remain open to
accepting those possibilities.
So today for the chocolatemoment, I am talking about the
(15:51):
Vermont Nut-Free Chocolate, 100%Peanut and Nut-Free Dark
Chocolate Skippers. So if you'rea person who loves your m&ms,
but you just can't go thereanymore, like, you know, I don't
know what it is about m&mchocolate, but just affects me
completely different, and Idon't think it's just the milk
(16:11):
in there, you know, saying. Soif you are like me, and you're
looking for an alternative, andyou're looking for something
that has a few less ingredients,'cause there are a lot of
ingredients in these, this mightbe a thing for you. So faced
with a challenge with regularconventional chocolate? Maybe
switch to something that givesyou more options. Now, this
(16:36):
particular one, I have to admit,they're not m&ms, they're,
they're not. But they are reallygood, and if you're looking for
an alternative, this isdefinitely a way to go. And this
is a situation where you mightbe faced with challenges, but if
you open your mind, you may findthat this is a great alternative
for you.
(16:57):
So I want to talk to you alittle bit about peace. And
believe me, there is a way tolink peace back to dark
chocolate skippers, you justwait and see. Because we don't
just talk about chocolate, andwe don't just encourage healthy
chocolate eating, but we alsoencourage recognizing some of
(17:20):
the things in your life are verymuch linked to one another. Some
of the things that you do,there's a reason why it hits
with you. Like, I was thinkingthe other day about, like going
to a store and, and clothesshopping, and I look at certain
things and go "Why would anyoneever want to wear that?" And I
(17:41):
know for sure that people arelooking at me sometimes going
"What is she wearing?" I knowthat for a fact, but I like to
dress in a way that reflects mypersonality, so you will see me
with animal prints and brightcolors and the whole shebang.
Authenticity is important, soyou got to own who you are on
(18:02):
the inside and allow it toproject to the outside. So I'm
sitting there looking atclothing at a store a few days
ago, and I'm looking at all thedifferent options of tops, and I
kept thinking "who would wearthat, who would wear that, who
would wear that?" Which is veryfunny, like, if you know me
personally, and you've seen someof the things that I wear, it's
(18:24):
it's actually even funnier thatI would be concerned that people
would be choosing this or that.
But we all have our differentstyle, we all have a different
way of expressing ourselves andseeing ourselves in the world.
And there are times, I have toadmit, where we need to dress to
fit the occasion. So, forinstance, I have a speaking
(18:46):
engagement and about a month andI know that it's more corporate
events, so I will be dressed,there will be purple, but I will
be dressed for a more corporatesetting. I might have some fancy
shoes on, we don't know, but Itry to tone down the way that I
dress and still express myselfat the same time, and this gives
(19:07):
me peace. Expressing myself inan authentic way gives me peace,
and recognizing that I am beingauthentic in the way that I'm
representing myself in a groupsetting, that gives me peace.
Because you see, people can tellwho I am, and maybe when I'm
(19:28):
about, without even talking tome.
Now, I think it's kind of afunny thing, I do have a lot of
corporate background andadvertising and all of that kind
of thing, so when you see me youmay not recognize that, like, if
I'm wearing a big purple animalprint something something, and,
(19:49):
and you like see that you mightnot think "oh, she worked at a
brokerage firm." You may notthink that, but authentically,
on the inside, I love color, andI love pattern, and I love
expression, and I love toinspire smiles in people. And so
(20:11):
if I am coming at my look, andthe way that I present myself in
a very authentic way, I have theability to touch more people.
When we're masquerading aroundin a way that doesn't really
suit who we are on the inside,people don't know if they can
trust us, if they can talk tous, like, they don't know what
(20:36):
we're about, then. And sometimesthe mystery is cool, don't get
me wrong, but there are timeswhen being authentically who we
are on the inside can be veryhelpful in group situations. So
if you're in a store, and you'repicking out, I don't know, a
stripe when I'm going for ananimal print, I may not
(20:56):
understand your choice, becauseI'm looking at you going, "what,
you see way more fun than thatstripe," but if you pair it with
something that is incrediblycool, like, I don't know, some
bright color or whatever, itmight make more sense to me and
I will feel more comfortable andsafe talking to you, because I
know that you know who you are.
Do you follow what I'm saying?
(21:19):
So while I was sitting therethinking about clothes shopping,
and the way people head intostores, and whatever, I was
thinking how cool it would be,if all of us started reflecting
on the outside who we are on theinside. And you know, for some
of us, maybe some limitationwould be good. Like, I don't
know that I'd really want towear, I don't know, animal print
(21:41):
from head to toe. That's notquite who I'm all about. Like,
that's maybe too authentic. Ilike to tone things down a
little bit. But if we could allproject who we are truly in our
hearts, the value of who we are,then wow, we can have a much
(22:03):
easier time communicating withone another, and we could value
one another so much more. Andthat's one of the reasons why I
chose the dark chocolateskippers today. Like, maybe, you
know, you, you are like me, andgoing for a conventional
chocolate is just not in thecards. Maybe you need to, again,
(22:25):
like me, go for chocolates thatare dark, and have very few
ingredients so that you canreally maximize the
antioxidants, and you can reallymake sure that what it is that
you're eating is somethingyou're not going to react to.
Maybe you are in that category,so you when you go for that kind
of chocolate, you get peace fromthat. But one of the lovely
(22:48):
things about m&ms, or in thiscase, the skippers, they're all
different colors. They're allsort of wild in the way that
they look when you hold them inyour hand. It's like skittles as
well, or, um, giggles, which issort of the healthier version of
a Skittle. Like, they're funbecause they're so colorful, so
(23:08):
this would be a way of of beingauthentic, authentic and
expressing yourself, and givingyourself peace because you know
that you reflecting what you areon the inside, on the outside,
which is fun, and and crazy, andawesome, and easy to talk to,
and a lot more courageous than,perhaps, you're expressing right
(23:32):
now.
So let chocolate remind you ofpeace. Let color and vibrancy,
remind you of peace. Allow whatyou feel on the inside, the
authentic you, the person whoisn't jaded by other people's
opinions, allow that to remindyou of peace, and then live
(23:53):
that. You will achieve what yourmind believes, so if you are
believing in limitation, you'renever going to make it. Ouch,
that was really harsh, right?
But it's true, it's true. Ifyou're constantly thinking of
the limitations, you will neverfind your path. So in that
moment when that gentleman toldme, "Hey, give me more money or
(24:14):
you're out," I could have veryeasily said "Oh man, that's it,
I'm done, I'm screwed, this isnever going to happen, I guess
I'm closing up shop." No, Iwondered if it was the end, I
wondered how I was going to keepgoing, but I hadn't thrown in
the towel, I still had dateschosen for future events, and I
(24:35):
just sat back and I waited,because I knew, I knew even
though the path I had envisionedwas no longer there, that some
new situation was going to come.
You will achieve what your mindbelieves, so leave the door open
and challenging moments. Don'tallow your challengers to push
(24:58):
you into arenas you never wantedgo. Allow the challenges to open
up doors you can look into andsay "is that the direction I
want to go?" But don't allowyourself to be pushed somewhere
you don't want to go. What?
Like, who wants that? Nobody.
Nobody wants to be pushed to dothings they don't want to do.
(25:18):
Believe that what you're meantto experience is what is in your
life, like believe it right now.
And this is a hard one, I know,for some people, you've, it's a
hard concept. Because if you'regoing, "I want to be a
millionaire," and I'm tellingyou, "you need to believe what
you want is in your life rightnow," and you're like, "yeah,
(25:39):
but there's like $2 in myaccount right now, that doesn't
even make sense, I don't havethe million dollars," what I'm
saying is, your mindset needs tobe that of a person who has the
million dollars. Your mindsetneeds to be that of the person
who is full of the success thatyou wish to see, your mindset
(25:59):
needs to be that of a handful ofcolored chocolate, the
excitement, the vibrance, theyumminess, that is what your
mindset needs to be.
All Things change, so why notcreate the change before it even
(26:21):
becomes materialized in yourlife. Allow it to be part of
your mindset. If you don't wantthose challenges to push you
into arenas you never wanted,then tell yourself that you're
not going to be doing anything,unless you decide it's where you
want to be. Allow yourself tosay to yourself, "I am only
(26:43):
going to make choices that bringpeace to my life," and then do
that. All things change, youneed to be in charge of the
change. You need to be the onewho dictates what your mindset
is going to be and how your lifeis going to be moving forward.
(27:04):
What is meant to be in your lifewill come to you, and will come
back to you no matter how far ithas to travel. But it will only
do that if you believe that thatis how it is meant to be.
Believe that what you want iswhat you were meant to
experience. Believe it, andbelieve it now, and then you
(27:27):
will achieve what your mindbelieves, it is so incredibly
amazing. Now, if, again, Ialways use this example, but
trust me, if you're believingthat you're the queen of
England, there's a lot at playthere. So you need to make sure
that what you believe isactually something you can
attain, because if you're not inthe bloodline to become a king
(27:51):
or queen of England, it's notgoing to happen my love, so you
need to stay realistic about it,but you also need to step beyond
the comfort zone of where you'reat right now. You're the one in
charge, you are the one who canstep into an arena you want to
be in, you are the one whodictates what your path is going
(28:13):
to be. Why? Because you've gotthe superpower of choice. So
make a choice now. Reach for thechocolate skippers, reach for
the color and the pattern andthe vibrancy. Choose a life now
that you know that you weremeant to have, and then allow
(28:35):
the doors to open in front ofyou and then choose which door
you will go into.
I am determined to increaseself-awareness and help people
to really value what it is thatis special about who they are
and what they can bring to theworld. And with that in mind, I
designed to this fabulousprogram called Celebrate You to
(28:58):
help you slow down and payattention to what's going on in
your life, so that you can findvalue at every turn, and to
design a life that is morefulfilling. So do a little
extra. Start Celebrating You bychecking out Celebrate You on
BetsDanko.Com and signing uptoday.
Experience the Wisdom that helpsto Motivate and Empower you in
(29:22):
relationships, business, family,and most importantly,
self-celebration. Getting thepicture? It's Wisdom and it's
all about you. Want to hear theChocolate? Tune in to Wisdom &
Chocolate weekly.
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