July 17, 2024 • 22 mins
Stuckness and fear can hold you back in various aspects of life. It’s important to understand why you are stuck and shift your mindset to overcome fear and move forward. Try stirring some things up! It’s time to step out of your comfort zones and embrace new experiences to improve your well-being and get grounded. And if you’re feeling stuck because fear is holding you back, let’s reframe failure as an opportunity for growth!
Wisdom and Chocolate is a common sense approach to Mindset Development, Self Empowerment, and Happiness. The real transformation in life begins with Celebration….so grab your coffee and chocolate…It’s time to Celebrate You!
Highlights:
What Are You Stuck In?
Try Something New.
Acknowledge The Grounding, Baby!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Bets Danko (00:03):
It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a
new healthy habit. Kick up yourfeet and listen in. This is
Wisdom & Chocolate. This is BetsDanko. And you are listening to
Wisdom & Chocolate. And I'mexcited to be here today because
we're going to be talking abouta subject that I have been
(00:25):
facing a lot lately. And that'sbeing stuck. When we talk about
being stuck, it sort of paints apicture of not being able to
move forward, not being able toprogress, go for your dreams.
Not be able to do simple thingslike just getting something done
in the middle of the day. Ithink in many ways, depression
(00:49):
is a form of being stuck. It'sit's like a spiral in a place
that doesn't allow you to enjoylife. And I think in the moments
when we are experiencing beingstuck, it's really important to
recognize that we have thesuperpower to choose how we
(01:09):
react to any given situation. Sowhen we feel like we're stuck,
we need to start looking for thesolutions and get ourselves
unstuck. And that sounds, Iknow, it sounds so simplistic,
so easy. And yet, it's notalways that easy. Because the
thought patterns that we have,the things that we think to
(01:31):
ourselves or even speak outloud, can really sabotage us.
Especially if we feel like thereason we're stuck is because of
something we did or didn't do orjust weren't capable of taking
care of. Yike, right.? Whenwe're blaming ourselves. When
our language is saying thatwe're the ones who caused that,
(01:54):
well, it's pretty hard to getyourself unstuck by seeing
things more clearly, right? Youget stuck in that spiral and
you're sort of going around inthat spiral, constantly thinking
about the reasons why you're toblame. And then jumping out of
that, taking a step out, of thatjust kind of getting off the
wheel, not super easy.
(02:16):
Now, a few days ago, I wasthinking about, because you know
I'm from Los Angeles, and I Isaw a video that had nothing to
do with this, actually. But itwas a computer generated video
where somebody was walking andthey suddenly just sort of sank
into the earth. And they weregone. And I started thinking
(02:36):
about La Brea Tar Pits. Which Iguess that that does have
something to that video doeshave something to do with this.
But, those of you who aren'tfamiliar, the La Brea Tar Pits
are basically exactly what theysay. They're pits of tar. And
they are near some of themuseums and things in Los
Angeles. And it's it's one ofthose natural wonders, if you
(02:59):
will, which is surrounded bycivilization. So it's like if
you go to see the Great Pyramidin Egypt, you'll be shocked to
find out that all of thosepictures where it's just like
surrounded with sand just aren'teven real. Because there's
there's city all the way aroundit. Like it's civilization
(03:20):
building itself around thingsthat are cool, or mysterious,
right? So the Brea Tar Pits arelike this. And the La Brea Tar
Pits are literally things thatyou do not want to get involved
with. Because when you step intar, it's real hard to get out.
That's what we call stuck. Youstep in it, and you start
(03:42):
sinking, and you can't get out.
So what what would be thesolution to that? Well, when one
quick solution is watch whereyou're walking, right? Don't get
yourself in the middle of a tarpit before you realize you want
to get out. Like, just don'teven go there, right? But
sometimes we do end up there.
Sometimes we end up in aposition we weren't
(04:06):
anticipating. Even if we werelooking at the road ahead of us.
You know, because there areother people in this world.
There are other situations thatwe can stumble upon without even
realizing we're puttingourselves in those situations.
How do you get unstuck in thosemoments?
(04:27):
And obviously, that would be amoment where you recognize it
wasn't you. You didn't do that.
You didn't put yourself in thatposition. Or maybe maybe you do
think that. Like, I should havebeen watching this. I should
have had my eyes open for this,whatever. But let's say it's a
situation where you're notblaming yourself. How do you
change your mindset and getyourself clear and let go of any
(04:48):
fear that is there so that youcan move forward? How do you get
unstuck?
Well, the first thing to do isrecognize what it is you're
stuck in. Some things areobvious. Like, oh, there's a big
pool of tar. Like that's obviousright in front of you, right?
But sometimes you feel stuck andyou don't know why. And
(05:14):
something did just happen. Let'ssay you lost your job. But all
along, you didn't like your job.
So why is that making you feelstuck? What exactly is happening
that is leading you to feel likeyou can't move forward, when all
along you've been hoping thatyou could move forward? What is
that? Well, my guess is thatit's fear. My guess is that the
(05:35):
fear stems from something thathas little or nothing to do with
the situation that you're in atthis moment. Because we have
learned patterns. We haveembraced understandings from our
childhood, from our teenageyears, from our 20s, 30s, 40s,
50s, 60s, whatever the age it isthat you're at right now. Every
(05:57):
every decade of your life, everymoment of your life, gives you
opportunity to learn, but alsoopens up opportunity to stifle
yourself through fear. Well, thelast time I went through this
didn't go well. So now I'mriddled with fear because I
don't want to go through thatagain, right? So you start
(06:18):
telling yourself narratives. Andyou're blaming the other things.
And you're rightfully looking atthe situation going, I'm stuck
possibly, because I just lost myjob, but go deeper. Because you
have a superpower. You have theability to choose how you're
going to react. You have anability to choose how you're
(06:40):
going to move forward. And ifyou don't understand why you're
not taking advantage of thoseabilities, then you need to look
deeper at yourself. What's goingon there? Where's the fear
coming from? Why are youallowing that fear to step in.
Now, if you lost your job, andyou weren't feeling secure in
(07:03):
your job to begin with, thenthis has been an opportunity for
you. This is a door that hasopened. this is a place that you
can step through. And you cansay to me, well, no, because I
have lost my job so many timesin the last 5-10 years, that I
just feel like, you know, I'mafraid to step out there and
(07:25):
feel like a failure all overagain. Well, here's the thing.
Every time you get a new job,you learn a new skill. Every
time you get a new job, you havea new opportunity to better
yourself. So even if the job isno longer there, you take those
elements, those opportunities,with you to find the thing that
(07:45):
you're meant to be in. I can'ttell you how many jobs I had
over the years before I ended upwith an industry I actually
loved. You know, I worked in theplumbing industry. I worked with
training CPAs to take the CPAexam. I was even one of these
people who, you know, I workedin temp agencies for a long time
working at different banks andwhatever. And one of the jobs
(08:07):
that I had was as an airfreshener, what do you call it?
Like somebody who demonstratesair fresheners. And it was, you
know, people would come downthis aisle and pitch spraying
this stuff for like five hours,the whole store smells like it
but I'd still have people walkdown the island. And I would
offer to spray this airfreshener for them. And many
(08:27):
people were super sweet andwould say yes, even though like
I said, you could smell itprobably for a mile away from
the store. But, you know, youyou do whatever it takes to make
a living, right? And on thatday, my living was being made by
spraying air freshener for abouteight hours. I learned I had
some qualities I didn't knowthat I had. And some abilities
(08:48):
for sales that I didn't knowthat I had. Now did I want to do
it again? No, I was done. I didit one day. I was all done. It's
all good. I don't need to goback. But I learned from the
experience and I took with me anunderstanding of how that
particular type of job works. Sounderstand that every situation
(09:10):
that you're in, gives youopportunity to learn and take
that understanding with you.
And now, of course, I work withso many people and I keynote and
I get opportunities to teachpeople on how to identify with
the best that is inside of them.
And I take situations like thatair freshening day as as
understanding that helps me totrain other people. It's a
(09:34):
blessing. It's a blessing tomove from one situation to the
next.
So right now we're going to movefrom one such situation to the
next we're going to talk aboutchocolate because it's in the
title of the show, for goodnesssakes. Right right Wisdom &
Chocolate. So I'm going to talkabout Dr. Bronner's Magic All
(09:57):
One chocolate. And thisparticular Chocolate totally
shocked me. Oh, it shocked mebecause I anticipated it was
going to be dry. Maybe not socreamy. Like I didn't really
think that this was going to bemy thing. And for those of you
who have not joined me on theshow before I look for healthier
versions of chocolate, so thatwe can all take part but have a
(10:22):
little less guilt. And so everytime I do one of these podcasts
and one of these presentations,I talk about a different
chocolate. So today the Dr.
Bronner's Magic All Onechocolate milk, Golden Milk Chai
oat milk chocolate. You got thatright. I said I was worried it
would be like a little dry,maybe a little too crunchy.
(10:43):
Like, I was worried about thisone because of the oat milk
factor. Now I'm sensitive to oatmilk. So I knew I could only
take just like one bite. But Ididn't just take one bite. I
took like three bites, but overtime so that I wouldn't react,
right? And here's the thing. Itwas so good. It was so good. It
was creamy. It was flavorful. Itwas amazing. This was made with
(11:08):
regenerative organic certifiedcocoa and coconut sugar. It's
vegan, gluten free, non GMO,USDA Organic. Oh, my goodness.
So many checkboxes there. Right?
A dopamine boost every singletime I'm checking off those
things. So many good things inthis chocolate. And to boot, it
(11:32):
is creamy. Creamy people. Oatmilk and creamy. So this is
definitely one that you need totry. And I wasn't afraid to try
it. I was excited to try it.
Because new things areimportant. It's important to get
past the worry and concern andactually put yourself in a
position of being able toexperience things that are
(11:53):
different.
And when you get to experiencethings that are different, a few
wonderful things happen. But oneof the most important things is
you get to identify the thingsyou don't like. I have been
around so many people who arelike, you know, I don't like
that food. Well, have you evertried that food? No, I just know
(12:15):
I won't like it. I just thinkthat's so incredibly crazy. I
mean, unless it's you know, haveyou tried squid? Well, I'm not
going to try squid. But that'snot I don't like that. That's
acknowledging that's a littleweird for me so I'm not going to
do it. Totally different thing.
It's important to try thingsthat are new so that you know
(12:36):
what you like and what you don'tlike. So that you understand the
value of the things that areimportant to you. So that you
understand the value of thethings that you've experienced
and you've enjoyed. It'simportant that you acknowledge
that there is opportunity tolearn and expand by trying new
things.
(12:59):
Now there are a lot of peoplewho can say, well, that's
Now, my husband and I actuallyput together this office area.
And it was sort of a newexperience. We hadn't done
something like this before. Andthere was a huge timeline
crunch. There was like you'vegot two months to get this whole
thing done and so there were alot of things, you know, you
(13:19):
can't cut corners, you got to doeverything by the book. And
there were a lot of things thathad to be done that we had to
learn about on the fly. And oneof the things had to do with
plumbing. Now last winter, wehad a pipe that burst, and I
came out here and the wholebuilding was flooded. It was
(13:39):
really, it was a bummer. It wasa big bummer. A nd we didn't
know if the floor can besalvaged. We didn't know if
anything would be able to dry.
It was just such a stressfultime. And everything ended up
being fine. But over the lastfew months, I have been not
well. And I kind of chalked itup to my allergies getting worse
and not really knowing what wasgoing on. And then one day,
(14:03):
mold! Mold people. There wasmold. And we lifted up
floorboards. And lo and behold,there was a leak inside the wall
from the same pipe that hadburst. So apparently, there was
an issue with that pipe thatwent beyond what we thought. And
so we had to rip up thebathroom, rip up the back wall,
take out drywall, take out theflooring. Like it's been crazy.
(14:28):
But the more we've gotten rid ofthings, the more I can breathe,
and the better I feel so it'sreally wonderful to get all of
the mold stuff out of here. Andjust to be clear, there are like
decent sort of molds and not sogood molds and this was one of
those that just affected me.
(14:49):
It's it's, you know, I'msensitive to that kind of thing.
So no worries. The people whoare out there going, Oh, you
gotta go get everything tested.
Everything's been looked at andwe understand what was going on.
But we had to repair what wasthere. And one of the things
that happened was my husbandsaid, you know, I feel
(15:10):
responsible for this. I feelreally bad about this. I wish
that I had known more. Buthere's the thing. You sometimes
need to experience something inorder to learn how to do it.
Sometimes you go for a situationand you try to get things done
and you think that they'refabulous, and they don't go as
planned and something doesn'twork the way you wanted it to.
(15:37):
failure. You totally failed todo that pipe thing correctly. I
don't like to look at it thatway. See, we tried something and
when you try something, iteither goes the way you wanted
it to, or you get opportunity tolearn. So we got opportunity to
learn. And it was a tough lessonto learn because of how much
work has gone into fixing theproblem and removing all of the
(16:00):
boards and all of that kind ofthing. But lessons learned. We
learned from it. And to sit backand go, oh, we failed, only gets
Failure isn't real. Failure is ajudgment that you put on
us stuck. We don't want to bestuck. We want to be unstuck. So
we live our lives going for theun-stuckness. And we do that by
(16:22):
not going toward a label likefailure.
yourself at the moment. Youjudge yourself. And judgment is
something that happens when youseparate yourself from the light
you have inside of you. So whowants to go there. If you do
want to go there, you might wantto check that. I don't want to
(16:44):
live in make believe. I want tolive in what's real.And what's
real is, opportunity to learn.
So another thing that you learnin situations like this is, you
learn what you like and what youdon't like. One thing that I
don't like, is water damage. SoI learn that you double check
(17:06):
and triple check everything thatyou're doing when you're working
with pipes to ma e sure that youdon't end up with a flood.
So now we're going to move on tothe celebration section of this
show. And the celebrationsection is where we look at all
the positives in in everythingthat we've been talking about.
And I slant everything toward apositive. But really, when we
(17:29):
get to the celebration section,this is where we bring it home.
So let me talk to you aboutgrounding and anchoring. See a
lot of people get stuck becausethey feel like they're alone.
And a lot of people say negativethings about themselves in to
themselves because they feellike they've let themselves down
and they experience thosemoments of judgment where they
(17:51):
tell themselves that they arefailures. And grounding is what
reverses all of that. Now youcan be grounded in your family,
your children, your husband,your wife, your business. You
can be grounded in your yourreligious affiliations. You can
(18:11):
be grounded in many things. Butthe most important way to be
grounded is within yourself.
Understanding you and learninghow to trust you. If everything
you say to yourself is lacedwith things that imply failure,
if you feel stuck, and you'renot pulling yourself out of the
LaBrea Tarpits, then you are notanchored. It's important that
(18:33):
you put yourself in a place of,of grounding and anchoring by
simply looking at yourself. Butit's also important that you
surround yourself with a tribe,that your grounding is something
that you can experience in agroup in a crowd. And I can tell
you that as you get older, itbecomes a little harder to have
(18:57):
a tribe. And the reason is thata lot of the stuff when you're
younger is around yourschooling, around your new
relationship with your husband,around dating, around children.
It's around all of the thingsthat you have going on in your
life. But as you get older, andyou're retired or your children
have gotten older, so they movedout of a house, or whatever the
(19:20):
thing is, and you find yourselfwithout all of those activities,
you need to actively pursue newactivities. So that means
getting involved in communityprojects. Maybe joining a group.
Maybe going to more religiousaffiliated events. Maybe it's
going to community events thatyou may not have gone to in the
(19:46):
past. Maybe it's opening yourown little sales booth at an
event that's that's in thepublic so that you can meet a
lot of people. You need toactively pursue These situations
networking events areeverywhere. If you're anywhere
near city, networking is athing. And there are normally
many different groups that havenetworking events. Go out, meet
(20:09):
people actively pursue yourgrounding area. Your anchoring
area. Bring that beauty that isyou. Anchor in you first, and
then find your tribe. And indoing this, you'll find yourself
more uplifted. You'll find thatthe situations where you feel
(20:34):
stuck, become fewer. You'll findthat you're not limited in the
same way when you want to trysomething new. Your resources
start to grow and you findopportunity in so many lovely
and wonderful places. Andremember, try these things,
especially because they aresomething new. If you think
(20:57):
about it, the Dr. Bronner'speople, they probably didn't get
that one chocolate right thefirst timed. They probably
tried different levels of themilk, different levels of the
cocoa, like they probably triedall these different blends
before they found the perfectblend. So don't feel frightened
by trying. Don't feel frightenedby failure. Don't feel
(21:22):
frightened at looking like afool. You're human. Humans are
supposed to make some mistakeshere and there and learn from
their mistakes. That's part ofbeing human. Don't deny that
humaneness. Get out there, getyourself unstuck. Allow yourself
to do something new, and groundyourself in the knowledge that
(21:43):
you are fabulous.
Everyone has something beautifulto bring to the world. And with
that in mind, I designed EnergiéDaily. In Energié Daily, I help
you slow down and pay attentionto what's going on in your life.
So that you can find value atevery turn and design a life
(22:05):
that's more fulfilling. So do alittle extra. Check out Energié
Daily on BetsDanko.Com and signup today. Experience the wisdom
that helps to motivate andempower you in relationships,
business, family and mostimportantly, self celebration.
Getting the picture? It's wisdomand it's all about you. Want to
(22:27):
hear the chocolate? Tune intoWisdom & Chocolate weekly.
It's time to combine a guilty little pleasure with a
new healthy habit. Kick up yourfeet and listen in. This is
Wisdom & Chocolate. This is BetsDanko. And you are listening to
Wisdom & Chocolate. And I'mexcited to be here today because
we're going to be talking abouta subject that I have been
(00:25):
facing a lot lately. And that'sbeing stuck. When we talk about
being stuck, it sort of paints apicture of not being able to
move forward, not being able toprogress, go for your dreams.
Not be able to do simple thingslike just getting something done
in the middle of the day. Ithink in many ways, depression
(00:49):
is a form of being stuck. It'sit's like a spiral in a place
that doesn't allow you to enjoylife. And I think in the moments
when we are experiencing beingstuck, it's really important to
recognize that we have thesuperpower to choose how we
(01:09):
react to any given situation. Sowhen we feel like we're stuck,
we need to start looking for thesolutions and get ourselves
unstuck. And that sounds, Iknow, it sounds so simplistic,
so easy. And yet, it's notalways that easy. Because the
thought patterns that we have,the things that we think to
(01:31):
ourselves or even speak outloud, can really sabotage us.
Especially if we feel like thereason we're stuck is because of
something we did or didn't do orjust weren't capable of taking
care of. Yike, right.? Whenwe're blaming ourselves. When
our language is saying thatwe're the ones who caused that,
(01:54):
well, it's pretty hard to getyourself unstuck by seeing
things more clearly, right? Youget stuck in that spiral and
you're sort of going around inthat spiral, constantly thinking
about the reasons why you're toblame. And then jumping out of
that, taking a step out, of thatjust kind of getting off the
wheel, not super easy.
(02:16):
Now, a few days ago, I wasthinking about, because you know
I'm from Los Angeles, and I Isaw a video that had nothing to
do with this, actually. But itwas a computer generated video
where somebody was walking andthey suddenly just sort of sank
into the earth. And they weregone. And I started thinking
(02:36):
about La Brea Tar Pits. Which Iguess that that does have
something to that video doeshave something to do with this.
But, those of you who aren'tfamiliar, the La Brea Tar Pits
are basically exactly what theysay. They're pits of tar. And
they are near some of themuseums and things in Los
Angeles. And it's it's one ofthose natural wonders, if you
(02:59):
will, which is surrounded bycivilization. So it's like if
you go to see the Great Pyramidin Egypt, you'll be shocked to
find out that all of thosepictures where it's just like
surrounded with sand just aren'teven real. Because there's
there's city all the way aroundit. Like it's civilization
(03:20):
building itself around thingsthat are cool, or mysterious,
right? So the Brea Tar Pits arelike this. And the La Brea Tar
Pits are literally things thatyou do not want to get involved
with. Because when you step intar, it's real hard to get out.
That's what we call stuck. Youstep in it, and you start
(03:42):
sinking, and you can't get out.
So what what would be thesolution to that? Well, when one
quick solution is watch whereyou're walking, right? Don't get
yourself in the middle of a tarpit before you realize you want
to get out. Like, just don'teven go there, right? But
sometimes we do end up there.
Sometimes we end up in aposition we weren't
(04:06):
anticipating. Even if we werelooking at the road ahead of us.
You know, because there areother people in this world.
There are other situations thatwe can stumble upon without even
realizing we're puttingourselves in those situations.
How do you get unstuck in thosemoments?
(04:27):
And obviously, that would be amoment where you recognize it
wasn't you. You didn't do that.
You didn't put yourself in thatposition. Or maybe maybe you do
think that. Like, I should havebeen watching this. I should
have had my eyes open for this,whatever. But let's say it's a
situation where you're notblaming yourself. How do you
change your mindset and getyourself clear and let go of any
(04:48):
fear that is there so that youcan move forward? How do you get
unstuck?
Well, the first thing to do isrecognize what it is you're
stuck in. Some things areobvious. Like, oh, there's a big
pool of tar. Like that's obviousright in front of you, right?
But sometimes you feel stuck andyou don't know why. And
(05:14):
something did just happen. Let'ssay you lost your job. But all
along, you didn't like your job.
So why is that making you feelstuck? What exactly is happening
that is leading you to feel likeyou can't move forward, when all
along you've been hoping thatyou could move forward? What is
that? Well, my guess is thatit's fear. My guess is that the
(05:35):
fear stems from something thathas little or nothing to do with
the situation that you're in atthis moment. Because we have
learned patterns. We haveembraced understandings from our
childhood, from our teenageyears, from our 20s, 30s, 40s,
50s, 60s, whatever the age it isthat you're at right now. Every
(05:57):
every decade of your life, everymoment of your life, gives you
opportunity to learn, but alsoopens up opportunity to stifle
yourself through fear. Well, thelast time I went through this
didn't go well. So now I'mriddled with fear because I
don't want to go through thatagain, right? So you start
(06:18):
telling yourself narratives. Andyou're blaming the other things.
And you're rightfully looking atthe situation going, I'm stuck
possibly, because I just lost myjob, but go deeper. Because you
have a superpower. You have theability to choose how you're
going to react. You have anability to choose how you're
(06:40):
going to move forward. And ifyou don't understand why you're
not taking advantage of thoseabilities, then you need to look
deeper at yourself. What's goingon there? Where's the fear
coming from? Why are youallowing that fear to step in.
Now, if you lost your job, andyou weren't feeling secure in
(07:03):
your job to begin with, thenthis has been an opportunity for
you. This is a door that hasopened. this is a place that you
can step through. And you cansay to me, well, no, because I
have lost my job so many timesin the last 5-10 years, that I
just feel like, you know, I'mafraid to step out there and
(07:25):
feel like a failure all overagain. Well, here's the thing.
Every time you get a new job,you learn a new skill. Every
time you get a new job, you havea new opportunity to better
yourself. So even if the job isno longer there, you take those
elements, those opportunities,with you to find the thing that
(07:45):
you're meant to be in. I can'ttell you how many jobs I had
over the years before I ended upwith an industry I actually
loved. You know, I worked in theplumbing industry. I worked with
training CPAs to take the CPAexam. I was even one of these
people who, you know, I workedin temp agencies for a long time
working at different banks andwhatever. And one of the jobs
(08:07):
that I had was as an airfreshener, what do you call it?
Like somebody who demonstratesair fresheners. And it was, you
know, people would come downthis aisle and pitch spraying
this stuff for like five hours,the whole store smells like it
but I'd still have people walkdown the island. And I would
offer to spray this airfreshener for them. And many
(08:27):
people were super sweet andwould say yes, even though like
I said, you could smell itprobably for a mile away from
the store. But, you know, youyou do whatever it takes to make
a living, right? And on thatday, my living was being made by
spraying air freshener for abouteight hours. I learned I had
some qualities I didn't knowthat I had. And some abilities
(08:48):
for sales that I didn't knowthat I had. Now did I want to do
it again? No, I was done. I didit one day. I was all done. It's
all good. I don't need to goback. But I learned from the
experience and I took with me anunderstanding of how that
particular type of job works. Sounderstand that every situation
(09:10):
that you're in, gives youopportunity to learn and take
that understanding with you.
And now, of course, I work withso many people and I keynote and
I get opportunities to teachpeople on how to identify with
the best that is inside of them.
And I take situations like thatair freshening day as as
understanding that helps me totrain other people. It's a
(09:34):
blessing. It's a blessing tomove from one situation to the
next.
So right now we're going to movefrom one such situation to the
next we're going to talk aboutchocolate because it's in the
title of the show, for goodnesssakes. Right right Wisdom &
Chocolate. So I'm going to talkabout Dr. Bronner's Magic All
(09:57):
One chocolate. And thisparticular Chocolate totally
shocked me. Oh, it shocked mebecause I anticipated it was
going to be dry. Maybe not socreamy. Like I didn't really
think that this was going to bemy thing. And for those of you
who have not joined me on theshow before I look for healthier
versions of chocolate, so thatwe can all take part but have a
(10:22):
little less guilt. And so everytime I do one of these podcasts
and one of these presentations,I talk about a different
chocolate. So today the Dr.
Bronner's Magic All Onechocolate milk, Golden Milk Chai
oat milk chocolate. You got thatright. I said I was worried it
would be like a little dry,maybe a little too crunchy.
(10:43):
Like, I was worried about thisone because of the oat milk
factor. Now I'm sensitive to oatmilk. So I knew I could only
take just like one bite. But Ididn't just take one bite. I
took like three bites, but overtime so that I wouldn't react,
right? And here's the thing. Itwas so good. It was so good. It
was creamy. It was flavorful. Itwas amazing. This was made with
(11:08):
regenerative organic certifiedcocoa and coconut sugar. It's
vegan, gluten free, non GMO,USDA Organic. Oh, my goodness.
So many checkboxes there. Right?
A dopamine boost every singletime I'm checking off those
things. So many good things inthis chocolate. And to boot, it
(11:32):
is creamy. Creamy people. Oatmilk and creamy. So this is
definitely one that you need totry. And I wasn't afraid to try
it. I was excited to try it.
Because new things areimportant. It's important to get
past the worry and concern andactually put yourself in a
position of being able toexperience things that are
(11:53):
different.
And when you get to experiencethings that are different, a few
wonderful things happen. But oneof the most important things is
you get to identify the thingsyou don't like. I have been
around so many people who arelike, you know, I don't like
that food. Well, have you evertried that food? No, I just know
(12:15):
I won't like it. I just thinkthat's so incredibly crazy. I
mean, unless it's you know, haveyou tried squid? Well, I'm not
going to try squid. But that'snot I don't like that. That's
acknowledging that's a littleweird for me so I'm not going to
do it. Totally different thing.
It's important to try thingsthat are new so that you know
(12:36):
what you like and what you don'tlike. So that you understand the
value of the things that areimportant to you. So that you
understand the value of thethings that you've experienced
and you've enjoyed. It'simportant that you acknowledge
that there is opportunity tolearn and expand by trying new
things.
(12:59):
Now there are a lot of peoplewho can say, well, that's
Now, my husband and I actuallyput together this office area.
And it was sort of a newexperience. We hadn't done
something like this before. Andthere was a huge timeline
crunch. There was like you'vegot two months to get this whole
thing done and so there were alot of things, you know, you
(13:19):
can't cut corners, you got to doeverything by the book. And
there were a lot of things thathad to be done that we had to
learn about on the fly. And oneof the things had to do with
plumbing. Now last winter, wehad a pipe that burst, and I
came out here and the wholebuilding was flooded. It was
(13:39):
really, it was a bummer. It wasa big bummer. A nd we didn't
know if the floor can besalvaged. We didn't know if
anything would be able to dry.
It was just such a stressfultime. And everything ended up
being fine. But over the lastfew months, I have been not
well. And I kind of chalked itup to my allergies getting worse
and not really knowing what wasgoing on. And then one day,
(14:03):
mold! Mold people. There wasmold. And we lifted up
floorboards. And lo and behold,there was a leak inside the wall
from the same pipe that hadburst. So apparently, there was
an issue with that pipe thatwent beyond what we thought. And
so we had to rip up thebathroom, rip up the back wall,
take out drywall, take out theflooring. Like it's been crazy.
(14:28):
But the more we've gotten rid ofthings, the more I can breathe,
and the better I feel so it'sreally wonderful to get all of
the mold stuff out of here. Andjust to be clear, there are like
decent sort of molds and not sogood molds and this was one of
those that just affected me.
(14:49):
It's it's, you know, I'msensitive to that kind of thing.
So no worries. The people whoare out there going, Oh, you
gotta go get everything tested.
Everything's been looked at andwe understand what was going on.
But we had to repair what wasthere. And one of the things
that happened was my husbandsaid, you know, I feel
(15:10):
responsible for this. I feelreally bad about this. I wish
that I had known more. Buthere's the thing. You sometimes
need to experience something inorder to learn how to do it.
Sometimes you go for a situationand you try to get things done
and you think that they'refabulous, and they don't go as
planned and something doesn'twork the way you wanted it to.
(15:37):
failure. You totally failed todo that pipe thing correctly. I
don't like to look at it thatway. See, we tried something and
when you try something, iteither goes the way you wanted
it to, or you get opportunity tolearn. So we got opportunity to
learn. And it was a tough lessonto learn because of how much
work has gone into fixing theproblem and removing all of the
(16:00):
boards and all of that kind ofthing. But lessons learned. We
learned from it. And to sit backand go, oh, we failed, only gets
Failure isn't real. Failure is ajudgment that you put on
us stuck. We don't want to bestuck. We want to be unstuck. So
we live our lives going for theun-stuckness. And we do that by
(16:22):
not going toward a label likefailure.
yourself at the moment. Youjudge yourself. And judgment is
something that happens when youseparate yourself from the light
you have inside of you. So whowants to go there. If you do
want to go there, you might wantto check that. I don't want to
(16:44):
live in make believe. I want tolive in what's real.And what's
real is, opportunity to learn.
So another thing that you learnin situations like this is, you
learn what you like and what youdon't like. One thing that I
don't like, is water damage. SoI learn that you double check
(17:06):
and triple check everything thatyou're doing when you're working
with pipes to ma e sure that youdon't end up with a flood.
So now we're going to move on tothe celebration section of this
show. And the celebrationsection is where we look at all
the positives in in everythingthat we've been talking about.
And I slant everything toward apositive. But really, when we
(17:29):
get to the celebration section,this is where we bring it home.
So let me talk to you aboutgrounding and anchoring. See a
lot of people get stuck becausethey feel like they're alone.
And a lot of people say negativethings about themselves in to
themselves because they feellike they've let themselves down
and they experience thosemoments of judgment where they
(17:51):
tell themselves that they arefailures. And grounding is what
reverses all of that. Now youcan be grounded in your family,
your children, your husband,your wife, your business. You
can be grounded in your yourreligious affiliations. You can
(18:11):
be grounded in many things. Butthe most important way to be
grounded is within yourself.
Understanding you and learninghow to trust you. If everything
you say to yourself is lacedwith things that imply failure,
if you feel stuck, and you'renot pulling yourself out of the
LaBrea Tarpits, then you are notanchored. It's important that
(18:33):
you put yourself in a place of,of grounding and anchoring by
simply looking at yourself. Butit's also important that you
surround yourself with a tribe,that your grounding is something
that you can experience in agroup in a crowd. And I can tell
you that as you get older, itbecomes a little harder to have
(18:57):
a tribe. And the reason is thata lot of the stuff when you're
younger is around yourschooling, around your new
relationship with your husband,around dating, around children.
It's around all of the thingsthat you have going on in your
life. But as you get older, andyou're retired or your children
have gotten older, so they movedout of a house, or whatever the
(19:20):
thing is, and you find yourselfwithout all of those activities,
you need to actively pursue newactivities. So that means
getting involved in communityprojects. Maybe joining a group.
Maybe going to more religiousaffiliated events. Maybe it's
going to community events thatyou may not have gone to in the
(19:46):
past. Maybe it's opening yourown little sales booth at an
event that's that's in thepublic so that you can meet a
lot of people. You need toactively pursue These situations
networking events areeverywhere. If you're anywhere
near city, networking is athing. And there are normally
many different groups that havenetworking events. Go out, meet
(20:09):
people actively pursue yourgrounding area. Your anchoring
area. Bring that beauty that isyou. Anchor in you first, and
then find your tribe. And indoing this, you'll find yourself
more uplifted. You'll find thatthe situations where you feel
(20:34):
stuck, become fewer. You'll findthat you're not limited in the
same way when you want to trysomething new. Your resources
start to grow and you findopportunity in so many lovely
and wonderful places. Andremember, try these things,
especially because they aresomething new. If you think
(20:57):
about it, the Dr. Bronner'speople, they probably didn't get
that one chocolate right thefirst timed. They probably
tried different levels of themilk, different levels of the
cocoa, like they probably triedall these different blends
before they found the perfectblend. So don't feel frightened
by trying. Don't feel frightenedby failure. Don't feel
(21:22):
frightened at looking like afool. You're human. Humans are
supposed to make some mistakeshere and there and learn from
their mistakes. That's part ofbeing human. Don't deny that
humaneness. Get out there, getyourself unstuck. Allow yourself
to do something new, and groundyourself in the knowledge that
(21:43):
you are fabulous.
Everyone has something beautifulto bring to the world. And with
that in mind, I designed EnergiéDaily. In Energié Daily, I help
you slow down and pay attentionto what's going on in your life.
So that you can find value atevery turn and design a life
(22:05):
that's more fulfilling. So do alittle extra. Check out Energié
Daily on BetsDanko.Com and signup today. Experience the wisdom
that helps to motivate andempower you in relationships,
business, family and mostimportantly, self celebration.
Getting the picture? It's wisdomand it's all about you. Want to
(22:27):
hear the chocolate? Tune intoWisdom & Chocolate weekly.
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