Ep 54: What You REALLY Need to Transform Your Body (and Life) with Kevin Palmieri

Episode Transcript
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Philip Pape (00:08):
Welcome to the Wits & Weights podcast, where we
discuss getting strong andhealthy with strength training
and sustainable nutrition. I'myour host, Philip Pape. And in
each episode, we examinestrategies to help you achieve
physical self mastery through ahealthy skepticism of the
fitness industry, and acommitment to consistent
nutrition and training forsustainable results.

(00:31):
Welcome to another episode ofWits & Weights. My guest today
Kevin Palmieri is the founderand co host of the next level
University podcast, make sure tosubscribe. Early in his life,
Kevin found, quote unquote,success. But after a brush was
suicide, he realized he wasn'tliving a life he truly wanted.
He became passionate about selfimprovement, and decided to make

(00:54):
it his purpose in life to impactas many people as possible by
becoming a role model podcasterand speaker, his podcast is now
one of the top 100 With get thisover 1100 episodes and counting,
listened to in over 125countries. And He's taken his
life to the next level andachieved both personal and
professional success. And that'swhy we have him on the show

(01:16):
today. Kevin, thank you forcoming on. I appreciate you
having me. Thank you for thewonderful introduction, my goal
is always to at least meet thatexpectation. So that'll be my
goal today. And likewise, and Iwant to meet your level of
energy. So let's just jump rightand how you how you got here
today. Tell us about yourjourney from early success to
rock bottom to what you now callyour no BS approach to holistic

(01:40):
self improvement. I always startat the very beginning, because I
think context is important. Andoftentimes the message is only
as important as theunderstanding of the messenger.
So I was raised in a singleparent household, I was raised
by my mom and my grandmother.
And I didn't know my dad, and Ididn't meet my dad until I was
27. And I think in many waysthat transformed me and molded

(02:00):
me into who I am today. But itdefinitely altered my childhood
in the way I showed up as achild. I know this, Phil, I
don't know much. But I do knowthat when I was young, I didn't
want to do what everybody elsewanted to do. So I remember even
in grade school, knowing that Ididn't want to go to college, I
didn't want to do what everybodyelse was going to do. For some

(02:20):
reason, I have always beentrying to take a different path.
So my childhood was fairlynormal. I used to ride my bike
around with my friends, I playedbaseball, we'd go watch the
little league games, under thelights it was it was fairly
normal. But after high school,that's when things started to
get a little bit differentbecause all my friends went away
to college. But I stayed back inthe town that I was raised in

(02:42):
and I was pumping gas at thelocal gas station. And I did
that for a few years, I ended upbeing a personal trainer for a
time, I drove a truck and aforklift. I worked in
construction, I joined theVolunteer Fire Academy, I did
many, many, many differentthings, never had any clue what
I wanted to do. So I eventuallygot this unique opportunity in

(03:03):
an industry calledweatherization. All that means
is we go into buildings, and wemake them more energy efficient.
So just imagine me and yourschool, your teacher, I come in,
and we're working on thewindows, the doors, the attic,
above the ceiling, stuff likethat. Beautiful part of that is
since I was working on stateowned buildings, I was getting
paid anywhere from 60 to $120 anhour, which for me, no college

(03:25):
degree, I have made it this isit, I found my thing. I'm gonna
do this forever. So if you wereto look at me when I was 25, you
would see a young man who hadjust won a bodybuilding show. So
I was quite literally in thebest shape of my life. My
girlfriend was a model, I had asports car, I had a high paying
job, new apartment, all thetrappings of success. But I was
very unfulfilled. I was veryinsecure. I was not passionate

(03:49):
about much. I didn't understandpurpose. I just wasn't excited
for life. That's that's in anutshell. One day, my girlfriend
came to me. And she was excitedfor life. And she knew her
purpose. And she knew hermission. And she told me she
wanted to move across thecountry from New Hampshire to
California and chase her dreams.

(04:11):
And in my scarcity andinsecurity. I gave her every
reason in the world why sheshouldn't do it. And you can
imagine how that conversationwent. She ended up leaving me as
she should have. And she chasedher dreams and she moved across
the country, which is trulytruly wonderful for her. But I
remember, I had to look in themirror and say what is going on
here? I just, I don't know. Ifeel like I just lost

(04:33):
everything. I feel like thecloak of perception has been
removed. And now I get to figureall this out. I started dipping
my toe into self improvement butfor some reason, and I'm sure
we'll dig into it. But for somereason I said you know what, I
gotta I gotta go make more moneythat's going to fix this is self
improvement things great, but Ineed more money, more money,
less problems. That's what Ineed. That's what I'm going to

(04:54):
do more money, more money, lessproblems. So that next year, I
said I'm going to make

Kevin Palmieri (05:00):
Thanks, I'm gonna make $100,000 This year, I
don't care what it takes, I'mgoing to do it. So I got a
promotion at my company and Ibecame a foreman, we got more
contracts that year than we everhad. And most of them were on
the road. So we worked a lot inNew Jersey, which was like six
hours from where I lived. So ifyou fast forward to the end of
that year, I had been on theroad for 10 months out of the 12
months, and every single week,working in a different state,

(05:24):
sleeping in a different hotel,working out at a different gym,
I was very consistent with myfitness back, even with the
travel, which was great. But Iwas just burning the candle at
both ends. But it didn't matterbecause I was making money. So
we get to the end of the year, Ihave my final pay stub in hand,
I opened it up, I made $100,000at 26 with no college degree,
awesome for all of five minutes.
And then I have that moment ofoh no, that didn't fix anything.

(05:47):
The bank account looks good,that's awesome. There's
definitely some financialcertainty there, which I value,
that's awesome. But all of theinternal voids I had none of
them went away. And honestly,some of them actually got worse,
because I assumed that would fixall my problems. I realized in
that moment that for most of mylife, I lived unconsciously, the
opposite of unconscious is hyperconscious. So I started a

(06:09):
podcast called The Hyperconscious podcast. And I quite
literally fell in love withpodcasting. As I was falling out
of love with my job, I reachedthe pinnacle, right, I made it
to the top of the mountain, I'mnot willing to climb another
mountain here, I don't want todo this anymore. So I start
calling out of my my place ofwork, I start showing up late,
leaving the job site early. AndI just want to do this

(06:31):
podcasting thing, I've got thebug. And eventually it got to
the point where I would have tobe in New Jersey, which was six
hours from where I lived 7am,Monday morning to start a job, I
would sleep in my bed inMassachusetts from 9pm. Until
midnight, I would get up drivesix hours to the job site, I'd
work an eight hour day on threehours of sleep. And then I would
go to the gym after and it wasjust like, I don't care, I need

(06:53):
to do this. I'm so home saying Ican't be away any more than I
have to be. And eventually itjust got to the point where I
just felt just past go stuck,trapped. I woke up in a hotel
room in New Jersey at 550. Inthe morning, my alarm clock went
off, I sat up, I slid to theedge of the bed, lacing up my
work boots. And that morning, itwas like there was 10

(07:15):
televisions on in my head at thesame time. And every single one
was on a different station. Oneis saying you're stuck here
forever. I know you want toleave, but you will never get an
opportunity as good as this one.
If you do leave, what are yourfriends gonna think you make
more money than any of yourfriends. If you do leave, what's
your family going to think yourfamily looks up to you and

(07:36):
they're proud of you. You makemore money than anybody in your
family? And if you do leave, doyou really think this podcast
thing is going to be the train,we ride off into the sunset? And
no, I did not think that wasgoing to happen. And in that
moment, I felt that if I was totake my life, I would take my
problems with me. And that waswhat I was sitting with. I was
sitting in this hotel roomhaving that thought of, I don't

(07:58):
think I want to do this anymore.
And not just the job. I don't doany of this. Luckily, I have a
very high quality circle. Andgreat people around me I'm very,
very blessed to have the peoplethat I do. And I reached out to
one of them who was just myfriend at the time. He was now
my business partner and the CEOof our company. And I explained
what was going on. And I saidhey, I'm having these feelings.
I'm having these thoughts. I'mhaving these emotions. I don't

(08:21):
know what to do, man, what do Ido? And he said, Kev over the
last couple of years, yourawareness has changed a ton.
Your habits have changed a ton.
So much has changed about youbut your environments have
remained the same. I think it'stime for you to change your
environment. So I left that jobthree or four months later. And
then I began the journey ofbeing a very broke entrepreneur
trying to figure out businessand podcasting and speaking and

(08:43):
coaching and all that. And Ithink that was probably, I think
five years ago now. And here weare. Well. Okay.

So yeah, so that was that was five years ago.
Wow. So you know that this,this, this is a health and
fitness podcast. But a lot ofwhat you touched on are
principles applicable toanything, right? You touched on
self improvement. But the lastthing you ended with with your
personal story was changing yourenvironment. You said, you know,
everything else has been going.
I don't wanna say well, right,because you obviously ended up

(09:13):
in a very heavy, dark place. ButI guess you knew you could make
that kind of change and it tooksomeone else, someone in your
support structure. In fact, theperson you weren't necessarily
being to the girl who left youright at the time. You think of
it that way to kind of snap youout of it and make you realize
you have control the situationjust took that level of I guess,

(09:33):
support and accountability. Imean, maybe expand on that
piece. I have a bunch ofquestions prepared, but I always
go off on tangents. Expand onthat piece about the support
structure, both both sides of itboth the importance of
surrounding ourselves with thatand the importance of us being
that for other people. Yeah,it's I always say that. Imagine
if I reached out to somebody whosaid Kev, nobody likes their

(09:55):
job. Of course you're gonna notlike your job.

I mean, that's par for the course, nobody
really likes it. Give it theweekend, I'm sure Monday things
will feel better. Like imagineif that's the advice I got, I
don't know what would havehappened, right. So I think with
anything, and I know whetherit's fitness, whether it's a
dream, whether it'srelationship, whether it's a
business, whether it's postingon social media, whether you
know it or not, the peoplearound you are either

(10:21):
accelerating your growth orslowing your growth down, they
are either creating newopportunities for you, or they
are holding you back fromopportunities. And like I did
with my girlfriend, I, my exgirlfriend, I gave her every
reason in the world not tosucceed. And she said, You know
what, I will choose success overyou. And she ended up going and
she's doing her thing. I've beenthe anchor, and I've been the

(10:42):
engine. So I very muchunderstand and empathize with
both ends. I think this is theimportant understanding. People
do not give you advice based onyour level of capabilities, they
give you advice based on theirlevel of capabilities, their
limiting beliefs, their fears,their you know, whatever they're
afraid to be judged by. And alot of us take those and run and
they assume it's our story, whenin reality, it just isn't. So if

(11:06):
you're the person, somebodyreaches out to you, you got to
pour into them. You got to, youhave to want what's the best for
somebody, regardless ofyourself. But you also have to
understand that when you'refielding advice from others, you
might not be getting that youmight be getting the scarce
Don't leave me behind advice.
Again, I've given that. So Iunderstand very much. It's very
important that you sit with theadvice you're you're getting,

(11:27):
because not not everybody iscapable of pouring into your cup
at the rate and at the levelthat you wish they were. And not
everybody is capable, or ascapable as you are. And that
comes through time. And thatcomes through practice. Yeah.
And that also brings to mind theI think you mentioned scarcity
there. The abundance mentality,right? Through a growth mindset,

(11:48):
the idea that it's not as theworld's not a zero sum game, is
it there's enough to go around.
And in fact, if you surroundyourself with people that are
more skilled, more experienced,have been around more been
through the struggles and kindof let them pour into that
vessel you just mentioned, asopposed to saying, you know, I
have mine, and I'm gonna keep itand I can't, you know, I can't

(12:09):
surround myself with peoplebetter than me I need to be. It
sounds like you're kind of tyinginto that same concept. Yeah, I
think it's, it's so important tounderstand that just because
somebody wins doesn't mean youcan't, right. If I lift Philip
and Philip wins, it doesn't meanI can't win. Right? And also, if
you do win, I'll be morefulfilled if I helped you. But

(12:29):
that's another thing, too, islike, how do you define success?
And that's, that's, that's adeeper conversation. But yeah,
yeah. So let's get into that alittle bit, maybe in the context
of physical self mastery, right,and self improvement, which are
in your real wheelhouse. So youhave this success early in life,
maybe it wasn't the right kindof success. So and you alluded
to self improvement, whatexactly is that? Like? We maybe

(12:51):
get philosophical here, but whatis self improvement? And how
does it then apply to health andfitness? Yeah, self improvement
at the end of the day is youpouring into becoming a more
evolved more, or with morepotential human being, I think
that's it. At the end of theday, it's investing in self. If
you're, there's a show with TimAllen and Jonathan Taylor

(13:14):
Thomas, I think called HomeImprovement, Home Improvement,
what is Home Improvement, it'swhen you improve the value of
your home. Self improvement isthe same thing when you improve
the value and quality andcapability of self. Here's the
interesting thing. When you pourinto yourself, and you become
more competent, and you raiseyour personal development
setpoint, you also raise otherthings like your ability to

(13:36):
practice self discipline, likeyour ability to become a more
consistent human being. Yourability to not run from judgment
is much your ability to do thehard but necessary things that
you know, you will be gratefulthat you did in the future. And
honestly, that's where thehealth fitness, whether it's the
gym, or whatever it is you'redoing. That's where that comes

(13:56):
in. It's not easy, right? It'snot it's not, it's not easy to
get in better shape. It's noteasy to be healthier,
necessarily. And just becauseit's not easy does not mean it's
not possible. But it's very hardto level up one area of your
life if you haven't leveled upyourself first. So there's a lot
of people out there that want tomake a million dollars, but they

(14:18):
don't have that million dollarmindset yet. Totally, that's
fine. There's a lot of peoplewho want to have a six pack of
the body, but they don't have asix pack of the mind. And when
you elevate yourselfimprovement, you elevate your
competency. And the morecompetent you are, the higher
likelihood you will succeed atdifferent ventures. So when it
comes to self improvement,you're just pouring into
yourself, and that transfersover to you becoming more

(14:41):
confident. And when you becomemore confident you try new
things. It helps you with yourself esteem your self worth, and
then you'll double down andtriple down on the stuff that
makes you feel good. Oftentimesthe stuff that the stuff that
makes you feel good for the daydoesn't feel good in the moment.
And I think understandEarning self improvement and
studying self improvement thatalso helps you understand that

(15:02):
there is no short term, anythingreally a value in the long run.

Yeah, this reminds me a conversation I had with
somebody recently about, youknow, how we overcomplicate
things. And sometimes we stripit down to the essence and focus
on building some foundation,whatever it might be, it might
be strength, for example, youbuild a foundation of strength,
you find that you can run fasternow, and you can go up the
stairs more easily. And you can,you know, have more energy half

(15:30):
the day, and it kind of cascadeson itself. And what you're
saying, is that concept of, youknow, building pillars, I guess,
in your life that spiraledthemselves exponentially. And
consistency, you touched onconsistency, right? So I'm
always hammering that messagehome. It's very important as a
nutrition coach myself thatclients embrace that kind of

(15:50):
philosophy with small changes inHey, behavior, and the concept
of living as if you're yourfuture self right? Self
improvement, you know, thinkingof the six pack having a six
pack mind or the the other thingyou mentioned, and falling in
love with the process, right,not just the end goal. So what
are what are some of yourthoughts about consistency,
specifically, why it'simportant, how we get it, and so

(16:12):
on?

Yeah, I so we did a 10 pound in 10 week
challenge recently, my businesspartner and I, because we were
like, honestly, we've been we'vebeen bulking for a bit here, we
should probably lock it in andfigure it out. So we said,
What's the best way to do this?
Accountability? We will say iton the podcast. And we'll do if
it's if it gets said on thepodcast, we'll do it. The
interesting thing and thevaluable thing and the best

(16:33):
story for consistency is thefirst two days I gained weight
and gain weight. When I starteddieting. Imagine if I said,
Nope, something's brokenmetabolisms off. This isn't for
me, it's not possible. And thenI stopped. The beautiful thing
about consistency is it tellsthe truth eventually. And it's
it takes the emotion out ofthings, right. When you do

(16:54):
something consistently, when youdo something on repeat, when you
do it repeatedly, you start tosee the different intricacies.
And you start to see oh, okay,that's what happens when I do it
this way. Let me try a littlebit different the next day. Oh,
that's what happens when I do itthis way. So the importance of
consistency is honestly, at theend of the day, if you can't do

(17:14):
something for a month, you'remost likely not going to get the
results that you want. Right,and podcasting and business and
whatever it may be. So I think alot of us know that now. And we
have that understanding, how canyou be more consistent, number
one, break things intosustainable bite sized things to
start, one of the best habitsyou can have is the one that you

(17:35):
actually do. One of the bestdiets there is for you is the
one that's sustainable for you.
Right, there's a reason we don'tsign up to a gym, that's an hour
away, it's not sustainable toget to, we'll sign up to one
that's five minutes away, that's24 hours, boom, we can do that
consistently. So create somesort of Bite Size habit to start
simple, sustainable, find somesort of accountability. So I

(17:59):
think there was a studyrecently. So this is a fine
line. But I think there was astudy recently that said, people
who said something with publicaccountability that they planned
on accomplishing, they actuallywere less successful because
they got the dopamine hit,right. So maybe that's not it
for you. For me, that worksreally well. If I say on the
podcast, I have to do it. It'sjust, that's just what it is at

(18:22):
this point. But maybe for you,it's having a peak performance
partner, maybe for you, it'shaving a coach, maybe for you,
it's having some sort ofagreement, I have $100 bill on
my desk at all times. And it'swhat I call my $100 habit. I
told my wife, I said, here's$100 bill, if I don't go to the
gym everyday, this week, I wantyou to rip this up in front of
me. I am a money driven humanbeing I operate well, when

(18:46):
there's skin in the game thathelps me so we have to figure
out what is the level ofnecessity that you're willing to
take on? It should be anuncomfortable level of
necessity. Because if it's notan uncomfortable level of
necessity, you're not going todo what's uncomfortable to get
your goals. You're not sureright? There's no point. So I
would say number one, let'sfocus on what's sustainable for
you. What's sustainable, andwhat's ideal are two different

(19:08):
things, especially in thebeginning, right, especially the
beginning. Number two, what kindof necessity Can we can we bring
in? What kind of accountabilitycan we bring in? And then just
speaking to the $100 habit, whatkind of commitment device can we
bring in for you? And again,that's just more necessity.

Okay, yep. Just taking notes. Now, this is good.
You're speaking my language.
Totally speaking. We talkingabout this stuff all the time.
And I want to unpack some of thethings you mentioned. So
specifically on your weightchallenge. That's pretty cool.
Right? So a pound a week istotally reasonable. And I like
the fact that you use thatspecific example, because I get
questions all the time aboutwhat why do I like my clients to
weigh themselves every day? It'sa kind of a controversial thing

(19:47):
for some people to say, Oh, youshouldn't weigh yourself every
day. And they list all sorts ofexcuses, right? And they say,
You know what, because weightchanges so much. It's
meaningless in the short term.
And if you have a data pointevery day now after three weeks
So that was just kind of thesweet spot, you actually have
information on what's going on.
Without it. There's a big gapthere. Right? So it's kind of
thinking that logically, I lovethe way you put that. And then

(20:08):
the accountability. I heard thatsame study a couple years back.
But I think there's a twist onit that you just suggested. And
that is, it's not just theannouncing of the goal, right?
It's continuing to put it outthere after you announce it,
which I think is probably whatgets you that ultimate
accountability, kind of like achallenge, right? We do
challenges and we say, Okay,everybody posted in your

(20:29):
Facebook group every day, peopleare watching and people are
there to help you. Yeah. Yeah.
So so that's good stuff. So youtalked about things not being
easy, right? Is that the same asstruggling? Right? There's a lot
of people that have these weakcrucibles in their life. And
there's this thought that it'sthose people that have all the
success that they had toovercome. And you even told us

(20:51):
about one yourself is, do peoplehave to struggle? Or can someone
can see cause succeed. Withoutthat,

I always my thought on this is you will
struggle in direct correlationto the size of your goals. So
for me to lose five pounds willbe less of a struggle than for
me to lose 25 pounds. And that'sjust the law of the universe.
And that's just a law of nature.
And that's, that's the way it'llwork for most of us. What I
think happens is we've falleninto the trap of what gets

(21:18):
clicked on what gets purchased.
What gets influenced is usuallythe stuff that's quote unquote,
the easiest, it's like, this isthe secret that you need to get
the result you want. Therearen't that many everything
you've heard before. It's wrong.
It's you're 45 years old, you'vebeen learning wrong for 45
years. It's like no, no,necessarily. Maybe you just
haven't done the right thingyet. So I think that for most of

(21:40):
us, we want to believe thatthere is an easier way to do it.
And we're holding out for thateasier way to come. Like, I'll
do it when this comes out. Orwhen this comes out, when in
reality, the results you wantare hidden in the work you
don't. And so from myperspective, no, I don't think
you can really succeed withoutstruggle. Because I think,

(22:03):
whatever your version ofsuccesses, and it's completely
personal, and I want to makesure I put that out there will
most likely require conflict.
And by definition, conflict ischallenging. So I do not think
you can now here's the, I guessthe detour that you'll hear a
lot of people say, well, it'sonly struggling if you choose,
it's only a struggle, if youdecide it's a struggle. Sure, I

(22:26):
understand that as somebody whohas a very strong mindset. And I
like to think I'm prettyphilosophical at this point in
my life, many of us are notgoing to get to that point where
we can choose whether or not wewant to struggle, or when you
know, if we don't want tosuffer, I think it's
disempowering to assume that youdon't have to, I just I really
do. And I think there's a coupleof different kinds of people.

(22:47):
There's the person who takesthey take pride and how easy it
was. And there's somebody whotakes pride and how hard it was,
you got to figure out who youare and who you want to be. And
then kind of adjust there andthen honestly figure out who to
take advice from based on thatas well.

Now taking pride in how easy something was, would
that apply to someone who isreally good at making systems
that and shortcuts and hacks andautomating things, you know,
somebody who makes the thingeasy by by spending the hard
effort first, you know what Imean? Like, where, where's
because I'm kind of that guy Iwant. I want the long term
process to be smooth and easyand frictionless. But I take the

(23:23):
time upfront to make it thatway. Yeah,

I agree. We did an episode recently. There is no
such thing as smart work untilyou do hard work first, because
without hard work, you can'tfigure out what's smart or not.
Right. So I think that's great,I think, but the fact that you
admit Well, in the beginning, itkind of sucks. And then it gets
smoother and smoother andsmoother as we go. I think
that's, I think that's great. Ido think a lot of people are
trying to avoid that first part.
And that's what we get sold,right? It's like, yeah, of

(23:47):
course, how many of the samediet supplements, ab crunch
board twists, things. You know,it's the same stuff over and
over, that takes advantage ofpeople's lack of awareness.

Yeah. Hey, this is Philip Pape. And if you feel
like you've put in effort toimprove your health and fitness,
but aren't getting results, Iinvite you to apply for one on
one coaching to make realprogress and get the body you
desire. We'll work together tofigure out what's missing so you
can look better, perform betterand feel better. Just go to wits

(24:19):
& weights.com/coaching, to learnabout my program and apply
today. Now back to the episode.
Yeah, I was thinking about Ihave a client in her 60s And you
know, she she goes to the gymand does her squats, you know,
once a week or twice a week. Andfor those 15 Hard minutes, she's
able to go to her patriotsseason tickets games every week
and no longer struggle going upthe stairs. And you're like

(24:41):
that's the kind of trade off Ithink we're looking for is that
that little bit of hardinvestment for the real results.
Okay, so a lot of my clients,you know, come in and they want
to lose weight. They want toimprove their body composition.
In reality, there's somethingdeeper usually there's something
deeper like self confidence andI know that some Can you talk
about a lot you've mentionedalready. And I know personally

(25:01):
from my personal journeys, bothfitness and also public
speaking. I mean, I would neverhave done a podcast even five
years ago, if I hadn't spenttime on the skill of speaking.
That that was important to me.
So given that you help peopleimprove, Kevin, what is
confidence, right? And how cansomeone become more confident?

Confidence is your ability to show up and
figure it out? Confidence isyour ability to believe that you
are capable of achieving somelevel of result in your life and
then and then showing up for it.
I think, honestly, it is one ofthe biggest issues on the planet
lack of belief. I really do. Andagain, I resonate with it,
because I still have it. I mightseem like a very confident human

(25:44):
being, I am confident in thismicrophone, because I've done
this so many times. But itdoesn't mean I'm confident in
life, it doesn't mean that Ihave level 10 belief in
everything I do. I still havelimiting beliefs, I still have
doubts, I still have, at times afixed mindset. So that's been a
lifelong journey. For me, Ithink the best way to build it
is to figure out, okay, on ascale of one to 10, what is

(26:08):
something that scares me at alevel five, because a level 10
Fear is something that will stopyou from even starting a level
one fear is something that's inyour comfort zone. So if you
think about it from a comfortzone, the next zone out is the
learning zone. And then you havethe anxiety zone, most of our
fears are in the anxiety zone.

(26:30):
Most of our comforts are in thecomfort zone, the sweet spot and
the potential for growth is inthe Learning Zone. So I had a
young lady reach out to me, shesaid I want to be a speaker.
Cool. Love that. Are you doingany speaking? And she said No,
not yet. Alright, cool. On ascale of and I said let's get
you speaking on a scale of oneto 10 how outside of your
comfort zone is it for you to doa Facebook Live? And she said 12

(26:51):
out of 10? That ain't it?
Alright, let's not do that. On ascale of one to 10. How outside
of your comfort zone? Is it foryou to record a video and show
nobody? She said that? It's likea zero. Okay, that's not it on a
scale of one to 10 how outsideof your comfort zone is it for
you to record a video and sendit to me only? And I won't show
anybody I promise. And she saidprobably a five or six cool do
that. Because you shouldn't bespeaking on stage in front of

(27:12):
1000s of people. That's notwhere we start. You don't start?
You know, your baseball careerby getting up in front of a 95
mile an hour fastball. Ofcourse, you're gonna be afraid.
Right? That's That's natural.
Yeah. What is the next availableopportunity for growth? It
doesn't have to be the biggestit doesn't have to be the most
audacious. The one of the thingsyou hear often, Philip, and I'm

(27:33):
sure you hear this is what'syour big, hairy, audacious goal,
like what is the goal that'sgoing to change the world for
you? If you're out there, andthat doesn't resonate with you,
it's because you don't believeyou're capable of that yet.
Totally fine. It's totally fine.
What is the next availableopportunity for growth, that's
where I would start somethingsimple. When you're walking down

(27:53):
the aisle at the supermarket,try to hold eye contact, very
uncomfortable, but it takesconfidence, it raises your
confidence, say I amintentionally going to have a
conversation with a person atthe checkout counter. And I'm
going to hold my own and I'mgoing to be brave. And I'm just
going to say Hey, how was Howwas your day, how's your
weekend, you have any plans forthis weekend, just getting
outside of your comfort zonelittle by little by little by

(28:16):
little is the way to become moreconfident, you do not have to do
it all at once you do not haveto reach the peak of the
mountain today. The ultimategoal is to get to the next
summit so you can see what'spossible for you at the next
level the next level. So I thinkthat's kind of a theme for us
today is sustainability,sustainability and starting
small.

Yeah, that that spectrum you just listed, I'm
gonna I'm gonna steal that withmy clients, because I haven't
exactly heard it put that way. Ilove that the comfort learning
and anxiety phases of thespectrum, because it can apply
to you know, let's say you justdon't get enough sleep, right?
You get four or five hours ofsleep. I'm not gonna say go
start getting eight hours ofsleep. I'm gonna say what can
you do? Right? That's easy. Iasked what can you do? What can

(28:58):
we but even the way you put itto get a little more specific of
finding the average, you know,kind of between the spectrum is
is a great is great advice. Italso reminds me the stress
recovery adaptation cycle offitness, right? The idea that
you push your self just enough,you push your muscles just
enough so they recover andadapt. You don't go so far that
you're just you're just trashand can't even go to the gym for

(29:20):
three days. And you don't go solow that you didn't feel like
you got any work and you liftthe same weights for three
years. Yeah, great. So relatedto this, I guess. I think it's
important for people trying todo what you do to ask them why
they're doing this. Right. Likewhat what is the deeper purpose?
What is the big why in theirlife? How does someone find that

(29:43):
so then they know what to goattack and bring in, in applying
this confidence scale?

Yeah, it's a challenge. It's anytime we're
talking about purpose. Whymission? Passion. I think a lot
of us and I, I definitely didthis. A lot of us say okay, I'm
going to figure this I'm gonnago searching for it like, what
is my why? When I think for manyof us are why is already
happened? Right? So even if wejust say like purpose from it,

(30:09):
what's the purpose of doingthis? A lot of us go out and
say, Alright, let me search. Letme try this, let me try this,
let me try this, I think that'simportant because trying things
gives you a new awareness. Butfor many of us, I think our
purpose or why our passion isburied in our past, and it
usually comes from a place ofpain. To your point, why does
that client want to get inbetter shape, it's not
necessarily so that client canlook better on the beach, it's

(30:31):
not necessarily so that clientcan run a marathon, it's so that
client can go watch yourfavorite sports team, from the
stands at maybe the seasontickets that she's had for 25
years. That's a deep, deep, deepwhy? Or maybe because this
person has a fear that they'renot going to be around for their
grandchildren in 25 years, ifthey don't turn their life
around. Maybe that's why a lotof it comes from pain.

(30:55):
Unfortunately, many of our wivesand our purposes and our
passions come from our deepestpain, because we don't want to
see that deep pain happen again,we don't want to see it happen
to somebody else. And we want tobe or at least feel like we're
in control of it. So I would saytake a look into your past. And
what are the things that scareyou the most? What are the
things that have hurt you themost in the past? What are the

(31:16):
things that you know, at a very,very deep level that you think
the world should be focused onmore? That's a great question
when it comes to purpose orpassion or why. But at the
deepest level, I think it's yousitting with your thoughts and
saying, Alright, let me be realwith myself. Is it because I
want to be more physicallycapable? Or is it because I want

(31:37):
to look better in a bikini or myboard shorts? The answer is
personal. But the more specificyou are with why the more real
you are with yourself. I lovegiving back. And I love adding
value. And I love our communityand I love podcasting. But I
also am more driven by moneythan my business partner. I just

(31:57):
am for a long time. I didn'twant to admit that. Because I
thought it made me look bad orI'd look selfish. That's just
the truth. I am a more moneydriven human being than him. Let
me use that to run this better.
When you're aware of somethingyou admit it, you're probably
more likely to get the resultsanyway because at least you're
doing it for the right reasons.
And you know, the right reasons.

Yeah, that's, that's a really great point to
end that answer on. Becausethere's there's no shame people
have to understand there's noshame in your personal reason
for doing something which canchange, it can change daily,
weekly, monthly. It can be therecan be multiple reasons and you
know, use that use that as fuelto drive you don't even have to
admit it to people, if you don'twant just use it. So I think

(32:39):
that's that's awesome. Lookingto your past. It's so true
people. Again, people that cometo me, it's there's always
something that they dealt within the past that didn't work,
right. It's not like they cometo me because everything's hunky
dory. And now they just havethis magical goal out in the
future. So that's a really goodone. Where does, where does the
vulnerability play into thisword is I don't know self love,

(33:00):
you talked about limitingbeliefs, but like, accepting
yourself or emotionvulnerability play into self
improvement.

Vulnerability is living in the truth. At the at
the end of the day, right? Whenwe think of vulnerability, it's
admitting what's real,regardless of the fear around
it. And there's a millionreasons, if you want your
relationships to improve, you'vegot to lean into vulnerability.
I mean, you have to becauseyou're living the truth, if you
want necessity to increase, youhave to be vulnerable with

(33:30):
yourself. My business partnerhas this, this habit that he
does, it's called the nakedtruth. He literally stands in
front of his full size mirrorwith no clothes on to assess
where he's at physically. And hesays, yep, not as good as I
thought, or, wow, it's betterthan I thought. It's that it's
literally him being vulnerablewith himself and saying,
Alright, let me get the truthhere. Let me get the truth, let

(33:51):
me get what's real. So I canmake changes according
accordingly. Any relationship, Ibelieve the level of the
relationship is based on thelevel of vulnerability. So
that's one point, whyvulnerability is so important.
But if you're going tofacilitate change within
yourself, you have to be firstvulnerable enough to admit where
you are. If you don't know whereyou are, you're not going to

(34:14):
understand or be able tocontextualize how to get where
you're going. And it just is thetruth. Vulnerability is the
truth.

And how do you do that without, without going into
some despair, or, you know,despair, depression or negative
thinking about it?

If that's the hard part, because there's a lot
of different ways to do it. ButI can't, I can't really say you
won't feel despair, or you won'tfeel negativity. Because what's
going to happen? One of twothings is going to happen. So
let's just say you'revulnerable. And you look back to
a Facebook post from two yearsago, almost exclusively, one of

(34:52):
two things is going to happen.
You're going to say, wow, I'vecome a long way. Wow, I haven't
made any progress at all, and Ilook I don't look as good as I
had hoped. Your trauma responseto either of those is going to
be personal and up to you. Butyou have to understand that at
least the awareness is apotential opportunity. I think
that's, that's all I can reallyspeak to on that Philip is, yes,

(35:12):
awareness is painful. Yes, youcan definitely get too much too
much awareness at once. But youalso can live your life with not
nearly enough awareness, whichwon't help you make change. So
hopefully, you can at least takethe awareness and say, Alright,
yeah, this sucks. And this isuncomfortable. Wow, that's a lot
of truth at once. All right,well, at least now I can operate
accordingly. And now I knowwhere I actually am. I'm done

(35:35):
kidding myself. I know what'sreal. Logically, I understand
where I'm actually at theemotional side of things has
gone away a little bit.

Yeah. And that sounds like one of the first
steps. You know, years ago, Ilearned about emotional
intelligence, right? Selfawareness is number one. And you
just said, you know, maybe youcan have too much, but generally
people don't have enough. Andyou can use that to your
advantage. So. So speaking ofemotions, there's this very
important quote by a fictionalcharacter who said, Fear is the

(36:05):
path to the dark side. Fearleads to anger, anger leads to
hate, hate leads to suffering.
What is your biggest fear? Iwanted to ask you that? What's
your biggest fear? Is YodaCorrect? Or can fear be a
positive tool actually, orchange?

I think fear is a, a very positive tool. As long
as it's bottled effectively, Ithink of it as it's almost like
gasoline, if you use it in theright direction, it's great. But
you can also really overuse itand it can create an inferno in
your life for sure. For me, it'snot being good enough. My
greatest fear is my fear offailure. My fear of being left

(36:41):
behind my fear of judgment, myfear of not not being good
enough, my fear of appearingarrogant. That's a big one. For
me, I've had a couple moments,we were talking about self
awareness, where I'm thinkingit's like, I don't know if
anybody's gonna like me afterthis, like I think, um, because
it's, this is an intense, it's,this is more intense than
sometimes I am. So it's weird.
But that that's a big one forme. I'm terrified of not being

(37:03):
liked, which makes it superchallenging to do what we do.
But you know, you can'tnecessarily let that run you.
When we're talking about likereal world stuff, planes and
sharks, talk to him flying overthe ocean, I'm losing my mind.

That's because I worked in the aerospace industry
for years, I can tell you theone of the safest thing on the
planet. Yeah, no, it doesn'tmatter. logic isn't good enough.
That's so funny. So youmentioned being afraid of how
people are going to perceiveyou. And I'm sure a lot of us
face that, whether you call itimpostor syndrome, or whatever.
But now you've done by the timethis episode comes out, you

(37:40):
would have done probably morethan 1200 podcast episodes.
Would you say that experiencehas changed that fear in any way
mitigated? It? Is it? Is it atherapy to deal with the fear?
What would you say? Yeah, it's,

I don't know, it's hard, because in a way,
that fear only gets tested whenit gets touched on. So I've had,
believe it or not, and again,I'm not inviting this. I don't
want this to happen. But I thinkI've only had three or four
people ever reach out and liketalk genuine trash, which is
good. Like, I'm really happyabout that. What I will say is

(38:15):
my response to that has improvedover the years, which means I
think my fear is running meless. Do I want to physically
have a hand to hand scrap? Yes,initially I do. I'll be honest,
but then it's usually okay. Whatis there to learn from this? So
I would say it has definitelygotten better. And I think one
of the reasons it's gottenbetter is the awareness around a

(38:37):
lot of times people are, they'renot judging you. They're judging
themselves based on what youreveal to them. That's been an
unlock for me, understandingthat. Look, you you may have
said something wrong, but youprobably didn't. You probably
said something that somebody hasnever heard in that way from
somebody like you, whatever thatmeans. And it's triggering them

(38:58):
in some way, shape or form.
Maybe they're not ready to facethat mirror yet. So they're
going to villainize you. I'vedone it. So I empathize with it.
So I would say it's gottenbetter, but it still scares the
poop out of me.

That's serious stuff. Yeah. Serious.
Definitely. We podcasters youknow, we try to tread that line.
So it's yeah,

it's a challenge.

It's a challenge.
It's a challenge. All right.
Well, here's the here's thepenultimate question I like to
ask all guests for the listeneris what one what one question
Did you wish I had asked andwhat is your answer?

Hmm. What is one? I wish since we're on a
fitness podcast, you asked whatit was like to be a full scale
bodybuilder.

I should have done that. Yeah, I really should
have. So tell us about yourwhole bodybuilding journey
because we could do a wholeepisode just about that.

It was it was the worst. It was the genuine
worst. I was in the gym. One daysomebody came up to me and as
all good stories start, and theysaid, Hey, you should be a
bodybuilder. And I was like,okay, cool. What does that look
like? And They're like, reachout to this coach, and they'll
help you. And I was like, Allright, I love the gym. Cool this
How hard can this be? That coachdidn't workout. I ended up

(40:07):
connecting with another coach.
And I'm grateful I had awonderful coach. He's an IFBB
pro. He is like he is awesome.
First question he asked me,enhanced or natural, natural,
cool, no stress. I was like,Alright, cool. We're good. He's
like, yep, don't worry about it.
You're good. Natural. He said,If you are willing to suffer
more than anybody else, you willwin. And it was like, Oh, no.
Oh, no. What did I get myselfinto? Completely natural or not

(40:29):
compete? Okay, no, no, no, Iwould have got smoked Yeah,
that's I was gonna say yeah, nocompeting competing in. I don't
even remember. I don't rememberwhat organization it was. OCB
OCB was the organization and Ihad a great relationship with
this coach. He was awesome. Hewas a really good person. So I
ended up doing a show I do I dothis prep for I think it was

(40:51):
eight weeks, while working a jobwhile traveling. I'm bringing my
hot plate on the road cooking inhotels literally got to the
point where I was blowing outthe breakers in my part of the
hotel because my my crock potand all that was too powerful
was a whole thing. But I endedup doing this doing this show
and I I won my division and Ithink I placed third or fourth

(41:12):
in the open or whatever it is.
And it was one of those thingswhere I was very grateful I did
it. But I I realized that took apiece of me that I'll never get
back there. Just the levels andthe links I went to to get as
lean as I did. I was really,really, really lean. And I
definitely messed up mymetabolism. I missed your

(41:33):
hormones, my sex drive, I messedup everything doing that. You
had to get to what four or 5% orso. I never I never got tested
but I I couldn't have been anyhigher than

seven. Yeah, people need to understand that who are
listening because it's like evenif you want to be lifestyle
lean. There's a big differencetoo. Yeah. And bodybuilding
show. Yeah,

I couldn't walk up the stairs. I struggled. I
literally struggled to walk upthe stairs. I used to fall
asleep on the ladders at work,because I was just so I mean,
I'm doing an hour of cardio aday and lifting. And I'm
probably eating 1600 calories.
It's just, it's brutal. But Itell tell tell some of my
clients 1600 Oh, I would love toeat 60

Some of the smaller you know, female. Yeah.

And understandable. Understandable.
Yeah, for me at you know,somebody who's working out big
guy, a lot of muscles and so on.
Yeah, doing like heavy legs andall that cardio. So I ended up
winning that show. I'm nevergonna do this. Again. This is
the worst thing I've ever done.
I sign up for another show. Forsome reason. I don't know why.
But I ended up getting a cheatmeal. And it was like steak,
mashed potatoes and broccoli orsomething and a half a pint of

(42:37):
Ben and Jerry's. And I was like,Alright, I can I can live like
this. I'm getting ready for bedthat night. I couldn't sleep.
And I literally said screw it.
I'm done. I went downstairsfinished the other rest of the
Pines texted my coach and said,Hey, I'm not doing this. And
then that was it. That was theend of my bodybuilding journey.

That's awesome. Ya know, it's a really good thing.
We don't talk a lot about stagebodybuilding, mainly because
I've not been through it. Ilisten to a lot about it. And I
think it's a fascinating. It's afascinating study into what the
human body's capable of. Butit's Yeah, yeah. Takes a lot out
of you. Yeah, exactly. I mean,we talked about just the

(43:12):
beginning phases of metabolicadaptation that people
experienced during dieting, letalone if you went to that level
to that extreme. Awesome. Sowhere Kevin, can people learn
more about you and your work?

I always just say, if you like what we talked
about today, this was a uniqueflavor of it, but very similar
to what we talked about. We'reon all the podcast platforms
were on YouTube, just searchnext level University. And if
you have any questions for me,specifically, Kevin Palmieri on
LinkedIn and Facebook and thenat never quit kid on Instagram,
I'm happy to to answer anythingyou got.

All right. I'm gonna include all those links in
the show notes so the listenercan find you and Kevin, thank
you again. This was an awesomeconversation. A lot of fun.
Thank you for coming on theshow.

Thank you, my friend. My pleasure.

Thanks for listening to the show. Before
you go, I have a quick favoriteask. If you enjoy the podcast,
let me know by leaving a fivestar review in Apple podcasts
and telling others about theshow. Thanks again for joining
me Philip Pape in this episodeof Wits & Weights. I'll see you
next time and stay strong.

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Ep 54: What You REALLY Need to Transform Your Body (and Life) with Kevin Palmieri

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