June 9, 2025 • 32 mins
This week, Jess and Claude sit down with the incredible Heather Stewart, a former high-flying CPA turned life coach, who gets real about what it took to walk away from a corporate life that was slowly burning her out.
Heather shares how she hit pause on the chaos, learned to put herself first (for real this time), and now helps others do the same. This is the self-care convo your inner people-pleaser really needs to hear.
From breaking generational patterns of self-sacrifice to getting comfortable asking for help, Heather gives us permission to stop surviving and start thriving. Think of this episode as a warm hug with a gentle push to start putting yourself on the damn priority list.
In this episode, we cover:
- Why hitting rock bottom can be the start of something beautiful
- How to navigate overwhelm when life feels like too much
- The power of small steps (and why they matter more than you think)
- Generational beliefs around self-worth and sacrifice
- How changing your mindset can ripple out and change your community
- Why asking for help is a flex, not a failure
If you've ever thought, “I just need to get through this week,” this one’s for you.
Let’s keep the convo going — DM us your favorite takeaway @workbestieswhopodcast on IG or drop a review if Heather gave you a needed wake-up call
Contact Heather Stewart - https://heatherstewart.coach/
IG - https://www.instagram.com/heatherstewartcoaching/
FB - https://www.facebook.com/heatherstewartcoaches
YT - https://www.youtube.com/@HeatherStewartCoaching
You can watch the full episode on Youtube
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Please rate, comment and provide suggestions for upcoming episodes
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jess (00:00):
Do you ever feel like you're constantly giving but yet
never fulfilled?
What if the key to more, moreenergy, more joy, more purpose
was actually putting yourselffirst?
Today, Heather Stewart sharesthe one mind shift that will
change everything and, trust us,you'll want to stay to the end
to hear what our final questionis, because it might just be the
(00:22):
wake up call you need.
Claude (00:24):
Hi, I'm Claude and I'm Jess.
We are corporate employees byday, entrepreneurs by night and
work besties for life.
Jess (00:32):
Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up,
laugh through the chaos andthrive together in every
industry Work besties.
So hello and welcome to WorkBesties, heather.
We're so excited to have you.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (00:49):
Hey , this is going to be fun.
I already know we're going tohave an excellent time.
Learn a lot as well.
Jess (00:54):
Yes, yes, learn a lot.
So, heather Claude and I havedone a little bit of our own
investigations of you, becauseyou have a very impressive
podcast of your own, and wenoticed that you yourself have
this very prominent ability toreally help women who feel stuck
in life.
So I'm curious.
I imagine that this journey ofyours must come from something
(01:18):
personal, perhaps.
I'm wondering if you couldshare the story about how you
got involved in this.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (01:23):
I wonder if you could share the
story about how you got involvedin this Absolutely, and it's
funny because I think that in myyears and I used to do a lot of
coaching of coaches thateverybody will come.
The things that they come to,that they flourish at, are the
things they had to overcomethemselves, which is like a
perfect person to learn fromright, because they're like well
, they figured some stuff outand it doesn't mean that the
(01:43):
exact steps work for you, butthey might have some insights.
So I did originally what peoplewere supposed to do.
You know the.
You follow the path that is thesuccess as defined by the world
outside of us.
So I went to university, I gotmy degree, I became a CPA, I did
all the things.
(02:04):
I worked for a big company, Ibalanced billion dollar budgets
and I had the house in thesuburbs.
I could sit at a desk 12 hoursa day, about seven days a week,
and I still wouldn't have beendone all of the things that I
always needed to do.
And a few things happened.
This vice president that I wasfriends with one day said to me
have you tried yoga?
(02:25):
And I said oh, I've heardthat's really good for stress
reduction.
I'm an accountant, what do Iknow.
So he invited me to go and tryyoga at his yoga studio and then
, being the overachiever that Iwas, I was like I'm going to be
the best yogi ever.
It's like I'm going to go andde-stress five days a week and
I'm going to blah, blah, blah,blah.
I'm going to get a yoga butt.
(02:45):
And one day I was driving fromthe office to yoga and I'm in a
hurry because I've got to get toyoga, to de-stress, and I'm
driving through this very busyintersection to rush hour and
there's a lady crossing the roadin front of me and I'm like
what the blah, blah, blah, bleepit all out and are you trying
to get killed?
And I looked up and my lightwas red and I was just like my
(03:08):
God, I almost killed this woman.
I'm driving through the redlight and I'm looking in and
those people almost killed mebecause the cars are coming from
both directions.
So I was like, oh, okay, thiswas the first time I'd gotten a
big wake up call from theuniverse.
Well, the first big one.
(03:29):
I was like wow.
So a little while after that Iwas in my office and I was
trying to balance this budgetand I have the radio on behind
me and I'm trying to find.
This sounds ridiculous.
I'm trying to find anothermillion dollars.
So, moving things around,trying to find a million dollars
, and the radio was on and wewere publicly traded, but the
man who owned the majority ofthe shares the radio came on and
said how much he was worth.
(03:49):
And this voice in my head saidthis is BS.
This man does not need anothermillion dollars.
Why am I doing this?
And I kind of went.
I don't know why I'm doing this.
So I mean, it wasn't instant,overnight, that you know, I ran
a red light and then I quit myjob.
But that, I feel like, was thebeginning of me starting to pay
(04:10):
attention to my health, mystress levels, what my life was
structured like.
I just had this realization.
It was like this isn't what Iwant.
This wasn't what I wanted whenI was a little kid.
I needed more space to be ableto step into that kind of life.
So the final job that I was inwas a special project and it was
like the timing was perfect.
(04:30):
It was coming to an end and thenext step was going to be to
start running that division andI was going to probably be the
controller.
I mean, I shouldn't say theywere definitely going to make me
the controller, but I had beenthere from the beginning and I
was talking to one of mycolleagues.
I said you know, I don't wantanother promotion.
She started laughing and she'slike why?
So?
Well, yeah, it's money, it'srecognition, it's climbing the
(04:52):
corporate ladder, but thecurrency that I want is time,
and it's going to take more ofit and I don't have any more
time for them.
So I, as it was coming to an end, I went to my boss and I said
I'm quitting.
He said you seemed a bitdisengaged the last few months.
I said well, you know, yes, andwe had a nice conversation.
He was a really nice guy and Iquit my job and I got divorced
(05:16):
and I sold my house and I wentto India.
I promised my grandmother, whowas alive at the time, that I
would come back for Christmas.
So I was gone for three monthsand no agenda, no plan.
Did you know anyone there?
No, but interestingly, I took ayoga person with me who I had
(05:36):
met in yoga classes, because,talk about the universe, it was
a he.
Well, he still is a he.
He was working in a job and hewas about to take a leave of
absence because he wanted to goback to India, because he had
been there once.
One day in yoga, I said, can wejust have coffee and can you
kind of like give me the lay ofthe land if I just pick up and
go?
So he remember photo albums.
He brought a photo album withhim to show me pictures, tell me
(05:58):
about his trip.
And I told him what my plan was.
He's like shut up.
I'm like what he said.
I'm taking a leave of absencefrom work and I'm going to India
, and I'm like shut up.
So we went together, yeah, andwe're about to have our 20th
wedding anniversary this summer.
Claude (06:13):
To us.
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (06:13):
What a magical story Right, it was
not planned.
It was just kind of like theuniverse went oh, here's someone
to go with you.
Jess (06:30):
And, by the way, it's your soulmate.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (06:31):
But don't worry about that till
later.
That's very fascinating.
So you packed up, went to india.
What was your intent while youwere there?
What were you thinking?
I wanted some time away fromeverything, like everything here
.
You know canada I'm in canada,cities, family you need.
I just wanted what made mehappy and what made me excited
and what I wanted to do withoutstepping out of the everyday.
I'm a kind of go all in kind ofperson, obviously.
(06:53):
So I said well, if I'm going todo this, I'm going to go all in
and I'm going to go to acountry where nobody can find me
.
And when I came back, justreally briefly, I started
teaching yoga.
I opened my own yoga studio.
But I also went back to schoolfor two years, because where I
am, it takes two years of schoolto become a massage therapist.
So I became a massage therapist.
Jess (07:14):
How did you get from being a massage therapist then into
life coaching?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (07:20):
So it's kind of funny because I was
teaching yoga, I also became apersonal trainer and I'm doing
massage therapy.
When I first started, I wasworking in a clinic and they
knew my old life, so they wouldcome to me with letters.
Heather, the government sent mea letter.
You have to help me.
So I started business coaching,started business coaching for
health and wellness because yogateachers, massage therapists,
(07:41):
personal trainers all thesepeople they're lovely souls,
they're amazing people, but youhave to send an invoice if you
want to get paid and they feelbad about invoicing people.
I'm like, oh, my goodness,let's talk about it, like let's
build this business so that youcan actually pay your rent.
So I started doing businesscoaching.
When I'm massaging people, theyspent more time with me than
(08:03):
their doctors, unless they had atherapist.
I felt like I was a bartender.
You know, they're asking mequestions.
I'm like I'm not qualified toanswer these questions, but I'll
give you my opinions.
They would just ask me allthese questions and I felt like
I was coaching people while Iwas massaging people and then,
in 2021, I had a stroke.
Yes, I did.
(08:24):
I saw your eyeballs go.
Wait a minute, now what?
So it was COVID.
This is a rollercoaster.
This is my life.
It was Friday night, it wasHalloween weekend.
I was watching TV and one of myeyeballs went kind of sideways
and I couldn't see properly.
And I stood up and I'm like,I'm really tired, my eyeball's
hurting, I can't see straight.
I said.
I actually said I don't thinkI'm having a stroke, I'm not
(08:50):
slurring, I'm still cognitivelyaware, I still have all my
strength, I'm just going to goto bed.
And I went to bed.
So the next morning I got up andit was still there and we have
a thing called telehealth here.
So I phoned and I said this iswhat's happening.
Came and she said okay, you'vehad a stroke.
And I'm like whatever.
I didn't believe her and shesaid we're admitting you.
(09:20):
So I was in the ER for threedays.
I couldn't see properly becausewhen my eyes did eventually
straighten out, but if I put onmy glasses I got super nauseous.
So I couldn't do the escapeinto the scroll that people do
when they're trying to avoidstuff.
So the universe ensured that Ihad nothing to do but lay there
and watch what was going onoutside, I think yeah.
I think, and I kind of at onepoint went okay, I'm in the
hospital, that's great, that'sperfect, this is a good place to
(09:49):
be.
I'd actually had two strokes.
I said, okay, so they'relooking after me, good.
So what's this all about?
And I meditated a lot becausewhat else are you going to do?
I said okay, and the messagewas business coaching is too
small, you know, massage is toosmall, personal training is too
small, yoga is too small.
These are all just pieces.
You need to be looking at thewhole person.
The life coach thing came in.
It's like the whole person.
You need to help them, becauseeverybody who has a little
struggle, it's impactingeverything else and the little
(10:11):
struggle might be actually asymptom of something else.
So we need the whole picture tocome in.
I'm like, okay, I got it.
And while I was laying there,that's where my podcast came
from as well.
I mean, it's called Back to Meon Purpose, the Back to Me
podcast, because it was like,okay, so I need to help people
figure out how to get back tothemselves so they take care of
(10:33):
themselves.
Claude (10:34):
Take care.
It's like with all this lifethat you had, like you had
500,000,.
There's always this positivityand that is so, so nice to hear.
You know that you say theuniverse talked to me.
It was, I was there for areason, because you could have
gone the other way around, andjust to hear that positivity is
(10:58):
just incredible thank you, andit's funny because I feel like
that's a choice.
Heather Stewart, Life Coa (11:05):
Right , that is a huge choice and it
just popped into my head.
So I just in December of 2024,I was contributed a chapter to a
book and it's called.
The book is called Finding yourValue, but my chapter is called
Life is Suffering Unless youChoose, and it's about making
conscious decisions about how doyou want to be.
(11:27):
I mean, you get you actuallyget to choose.
Someone can't make you unhappy.
They can do things and youchoose to be unhappy about it,
or you react in anger or youchoose.
Yeah, that's, you can be likethat, but you're not going to
interrupt my awesome, myawesomeness today.
Jess (11:43):
Sorry, so it sounds like, across each of these different
parts of your life, what you didis you almost took the effects
and slowed down to figure outwhat was really going on or what
was really meant for you.
I feel like that's a key lessonfor a lot of people.
Right Is the slowing down,because a lot of times something
(12:05):
bad happens, or or good, andyou're like just gone to the
next, maybe not even like takingthe time to reflect on what
happened.
Heather Stewart, Life Coa (12:12):
Right .
Jess (12:14):
And then a lot of people don't do it because of the whole
feeling guilty about takingcare of themselves first.
So what are some of the thingsthat you do, or or even maybe to
your, your clients, that youlife coach to really help kind
of overcome that guilt?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (12:29):
And it's funny because people
understand intellectually thatit's important for you to be
your best self.
Every time you get on anairplane, put on your mask first
, like I know it's very cliche,but it just makes on your mask
first, because if you pass out,you can't help anybody.
But when it comes to life,that's not how we operate.
(12:50):
We're like, yes, yes, I get it,totally get it, and then you
don't follow through and do it,and for me, that speaks a lot
about your value.
You value the people and thethings outside of you more than
you value yourself.
Yeah, and people get upsetsometimes when I tell them that
you say that, yeah, becausethey're like I love myself, I
(13:12):
love myself.
I'm like no, you do, but youdon't put yourself first.
So everything outside of you isoutside of you.
Well, we could go into thewhole world of energetics where
everything's connected, butlet's stay in our 3D bodies
right now.
You are the only person who willalways be here and you are the
(13:35):
only person who will alwaysadvocate for you and always take
care of you.
And that's not to say thatthere's people out there who
don't love you and won't takecare of you, but they can only
take care of you to the extentthat they have capacity, and
that's not to say that you are abad person for wanting to be
taken care of.
Like come on seriously.
But we are taught, and we aretaught by our mothers, who
(13:58):
always put the children abovethemselves.
You know, the martyr thing isso glamorous and it's like this.
This ingrained understanding ofyou have put other people above
you Especially your kids, yeah.
People will even put their petsabove themselves, and I mean,
I've had pets, I get it, andthis is a hard pill for people
to swallow is you are the onlyperson who you should put first.
(14:22):
Everyone else can be second,but you should always put
yourself first.
Jess (14:26):
And are there like practices or things that you do?
To help people, because youcan't just say that to someone
and have it.
Claude (14:31):
I know turn a switch right it's like the day I walked
, break this visual circle,right it is.
Heather Stewart, Life (14:37):
Sometimes I just say which exit will you
choose?
Like you're driving on thehighway of everybody else.
Which exit will you choose?
But I just sneak in littlethings because one of the
easiest ways to easiest,simplest ways is to get to know
who you are, because a lot ofpeople like you were saying they
want to move past something,they want to move past an
(14:57):
experience, good or bad, becausestaying in the experience means
you have to experience it.
Like I'm saying, we don't livein pleasant, no bad things will
happen and it's okay that theydo.
Like I'm saying, we don't livein pleasant, no bad things will
happen and it's okay that theyhappen.
It doesn't make you a badperson.
And I have one client who's likeI just like to tick things off
my to-do list.
I said okay, but do you stopand go and enjoy the feeling of
(15:18):
having something ticked off ordo you just go to the next thing
Because she just wants to tick?
It's a little dopamine.
But if you don't take eventhose little moments good, bad
feeling, the experience younever have the opportunity to
know your inner, inside self.
And we don't teach kids maybewe do now understanding who you
(15:43):
are Because we always tell themwhat to do.
You're going to go to thisgrade, this is your teacher.
You're going to this party,this is what you're going to
learn.
So when they get to teenagerwhich is how I probably became
an accountant you get toteenager and you're like I don't
know what I like, when Istarted realizing what actually
made me happy.
You know people the follow yourpassion, like I.
(16:03):
I'm not a fan of cliches andoverused things, but people like
them, so follow your passion.
I would always go.
What?
What does that mean?
But I just follow where mycuriosity takes me, what seems
interesting, what makes meexcited to go and do.
And what happens to me is whenI learn something, I want to
teach someone else how to do it,and that is my driving force.
Claude (16:26):
So how do you learn, like, how do you teach someone
to one?
First take a step back, find apassion, because sometimes it's
not easy, you don't have thetime to look what is my passion,
so how do you put in someone'smindset that it's okay, stop and
look around and it's and Jesshad mentioned too like how fast
(16:47):
people are going.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (16:48):
So don't look outside of you for
how to slow down, becausenothing outside of you is
slowing down.
Everything is going faster andfaster and faster.
So I usually call myself a reallife coach, because what I want
people to be able to do iswhatever they find is going to
help them.
It has to fit into their lifeas it is right now.
So I'm not going to say, well,you have to stop doing that
(17:09):
because that's not practical.
So we find small little chinksto start to create some space.
So one of the things I askpeople to do which sounds funny,
is daydream, because yourproblem-solving brain is very
logical and linear.
You have to find the solution.
This is the accountant brain,right.
But your creative brain thatcan make connections that don't
(17:33):
seem to make sense or can comeup with solutions that are just
kind of off the wall or speak toyou about what you dream about,
it gets shut down when you'realways in that spreadsheet mode.
I mean, I meditate every day andI have for a long time, when I
first started, five minutes.
People say I can't meditate.
(17:54):
I'm like it's because you don'tknow what it is.
That's why you say you can'tmeditate.
Anybody can meditate, and now Ido longer.
But I'm also practiced andmeditation practices like yoga
are good.
Tai Chi is good Anything thatinvolves some kind of
(18:15):
mindfulness.
And some people need movement,which is why Tai Chi and yoga
are good.
Some people are good justsitting, but before I tell them
to go into, like when peopleused to come to take yoga from
me, they wanted a yoga but Ididn't tell them that that's not
what they were going to get,that what they were going to get
was a chance to be quiet andlisten to the inside of their
head, because that would scarepeople away.
So instead I say stare out thewindow and daydream for five
(18:39):
minutes, set a timer if you feelyou really need to.
If you daydream longer, it'sokay.
Giving yourself that time forthe thoughts to be unstructured
and flow and just watch them.
That's how you're going tostart to get to know yourself.
And when you've noticed startingto notice how you speak to
yourself, so you'll notice howother people speak to themselves
(19:02):
.
Like I was talking to a ladythe other day who kept calling
herself an idiot, I've said Idon't think that's the best way
to talk to yourself, you know.
But we do it and don't evenrealize it, because it's so
common, so it takes some time.
Nothing's instantaneous, youknow.
You can't go to the gym onceand expect to have a six pack.
Jess (19:22):
Wish.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (19:23):
I know me too.
Jess (19:23):
I think you're bringing up some really valid points.
It's like it does take time.
There's a lot of mini steps toget you there, let's say right,
but most people get sooverwhelmed by it and they kind
of get to the point of like Idon't even know where to start.
What's the best way out of this?
So what do you do when somebodyis almost like in that frazzled
state they're not right quiteyet to like?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (19:45):
be, silent be in the moment, yeah,
and the frazzled state is I hadthis great visualist explain to
me one day because I wasfrazzled myself that day and it
was my chiropractor of allpeople.
He said, heather, it's likeyou're juggling all of the balls
.
He said you've got them.
You've got them.
You're freaking out.
If I throw you another ballit's going to crash.
(20:06):
So it's like this oh my God, ohmy God, oh my God, oh my God.
So he said why don't you putsome down, like, take a really
close look at your life.
Is there stuff that you'redoing that you don't need to be
doing?
You know, I know, if you havekids, if you have jobs, but
there are probably.
I mean, mark Manson wrote abook the Subtle Art of subtle
art of not giving a f but.
But don't be a, don't be a jerkabout it, but it's like we, we
(20:28):
pile things into our lifebecause I feel like personally,
because there's too many beercommercials out there telling us
how fabulous life needs to beat every moment.
So it's like you need to behaving fun with your friends,
you need to have the epic job,you need to have the cafe
lifestyle, you need to have theclothes, you need to be epic and
that takes too much energy.
So when people are feelingoverwhelmed like I've actually
(20:51):
had a couple lately who werejust like losing their minds I
say get a giant piece of paperand write down everything that's
in your head, because your headis a factory, it's not a
warehouse.
You can't store all of thethings that are going on and
swirling around in your brain,in your brain.
You have to get it down onpaper or some way out of your
head.
If you like typing it intosomething, you can do that.
(21:12):
I'm old school, I use paper andI have a big old white board
that I use and it's like I needto do this.
I have to make sure I rememberthis.
You know I'm supposed to bedoing this.
I'd like to be doing this.
I'd like to lose 20 pounds, butfirst I need to do this, but I
need to make dinner for the kids.
Next week it's somebody'sbirthday.
Like, write it all down.
Sometimes I'll use post-itnotes because then I can move
them around.
So I'm like okay, these thingskind of go together and you can
(21:34):
start to get some organizationof what's actually priority,
what is actually important.
Sometimes, when you say stuffout loud, you realize that
sounds stupid when I say it outloud.
It's actually not thatimportant and you can throw it
in the garbage, right.
Jess (21:46):
Yeah, because I think that that helps cut the clutter.
Heather Stewart, Life Coa (21:49):
Right .
Jess (21:49):
A lot of times when you are overwhelmed, it's because
you're thinking about more ofthe like here and now versus the
longer term things, and thatwould help you compartmentalize,
like what's really the thingsyou have to focus on when you
get everything out of your head,because we do sit in these
thoughts, we let them kind oflike this tornado over our head
and we're trying to make senseof it.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (22:10):
And you can't make sense of it when
it's blowing around in yourhead.
It's like you need to give it aform out on paper and when you
see it you're like, okay, I gotthis, I can manage this.
Jess (22:29):
And the other thing that people often don't do is they
don't ask for help.
Right, I was going to, I wasgoing to ask you one of the
things cause I've seen that alot of what you do is you
navigate?
People through, like major lifetransformations.
Right, and what is I was.
This is probably what it isLike.
What's that one bit advice thatyou would give someone that's
trying to make those big changes?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (22:38):
Big changes Does it have to do with
?
Jess (22:40):
like asking for help.
Heather Stewart, Life Co (22:41):
Asking for help.
But it's also being reallyclear on what you want and what
do you want your life to looklike after the change is done.
Because if you're stuck in themiddle of the chaos of the
change and you don't have aclear image of what it's going
to look like when it's done themama who comes from the kitchen
what's that song from theseventies I can make the bacon
and bring it home and cook it upin the pan and blah blah.
(23:04):
It's like really no, you canask for help.
You can get the dude to makedinner.
Like seriously.
Jess (23:09):
Yeah, and I think you bring up a good point.
I think generations were raiseda little differently.
The good news is, a lot of usare now educating our kids that
it's okay to ask for help.
You should be asking for help.
You should put yourself foryourself first.
So hopefully, some of thesehurdles that I don't want to
call us the older generation,but some of us that have
(23:30):
experienced generations.
Some of us experiencers willhopefully change some of that,
but I do think it's value addedto your point to reinforce those
things.
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (23:41):
Well , and the thing, sometimes, the
resistance to self-care, takingcare of yourself, is you feel
like it's taking away fromsomeone else, right?
So if I do this for me, I'mstealing something from someone,
or if I do this to me, I'mbeing selfish, and we look upon
selfishness as as bad yeah, itgoes back to one of the earlier
(24:02):
questions guilt right right as aselfishness or top thinking
about yourself is like a badthing and there there are people
who do it that like, to thatextent
Claude (24:13):
do you think that it's more women than men?
Oh yeah, because men, I don'tthink they have that guilt.
They don't.
It's like different right, theyare fine doing it.
Yeah, I'm not doing it.
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (24:25):
Good friend, who's a coach, a
gentleman, and we had thisconversation one day, the
difference between men and women.
He said men just go in and fixit and do it and don't worry
about it, and women worry aboutthis and that and it's everyone
being taken care of and and it'sjust conditioning really.
And I brought up theselfishness part because it's
not a blanket if you take careof yourself, you're not being
(24:46):
selfish.
It selfishness part becauseit's not a blanket.
If you take care of yourself,you're not being selfish.
It's the energy behind, it'salways the energy behind.
So if I'm doing it and I'mbeing selfish about it, then
it's going to be selfish.
If I'm doing it because I knowif I get eight hours of sleep
tonight, that's my favoriteself-care thing, by the way, if
I get eight hours of sleeptonight, I'll be a great person
(25:07):
tomorrow.
Claude (25:08):
Right.
I think it's also society thatmakes you feel guilty.
Yes, right.
So it's almost like how can weeven change the society?
I guess it's like reallylistening to ourself more people
to be able to do it.
Heather Stewart, Life Co (25:22):
That's why I talk on so many podcasts,
that's why I coach people,that's why I have my own podcast
and I'm in some groups that,like I'm in this group called
the High Vibe Soul Tribe, whichI love, and it's about, you know
, paying attention, payingattention to your inner voice,
and sometimes your inner voiceis telling you to go and do
something for someone becausethey need that.
(25:43):
Sometimes it's understandingthe dialogue that you have with
yourself and the dialogue of whoyou are, and it's not the voice
that criticizes you Like that'ssomebody else's voice that
you've installed software on soyou can take that software out.
Software that you have issupportive and wants you to be
your best.
Jess (26:03):
So it's starting to be able to recognize those
different voices that speak toyou inside your head and not
saying that you're crazy, youknow so either we kind of touch
on it too, though, like I dothink there's an element of
generational, so the experience,the experience ones that have
gone through it, so I agree withyou, it's we need to be the
ones that are sitting there andtalking to what's going on in
our heads and re-remindingourselves of unconditioning
(26:25):
those conditions.
But at the same time we shouldbe thinking about how what we
say and do not just what we say,but what we do is what the
future generations will enactupon.
If we don't do it, if we justsay it, then then you're kind of
still that's.
Heather Stewart, Life Co (26:42):
That's like saying, saying, oh, I
understand how to do self-care,and then sitting at your back
desk for 12 hours.
You're not demonstrating,you're not walking the talk,
you're saying, you're justgiving it lip service, right, so
that's not.
So it's doing, saying and doingI always.
You know, people ask me what mygoals are in life.
(27:02):
I'm like I've got to change theworld.
And if you can shift one personlike I don't even care how many
people listen to the podcast Iwas like if one person hears
something that changes them,they're going to change how they
are in their community andthey're going to change how they
interact with their community,and then it's going to be like
that shampoo commercial.
Jess (27:25):
And they told two people.
And they told two people.
Heather Stewart, Life Co (27:26):
That's I mean in fairness that's what
we, why we build podcasts is forcommunities, right right.
Jess (27:29):
The intent is obviously, can we make a shift in general?
But how do you talk to evenjust those few people?
Who then will talk to morepeople?
Who will talk to more people sothat the movement occurs?
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (27:39):
it's not something you have to talk
about, it's living, but beingthe living example.
Jess (27:44):
Right, yeah, yeah so our podcast is about work besties.
We've yet to ask you anyquestions oh, my god work bestie
um, from whether a lifecoaching aspect or even just
maybe from your prior workingtime frame.
Did you have a work bestie thathelped you at some point, or
vice versa?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (28:04):
So I've had lots through my careers
Like I'm thinking about, youknow, when I my the last, the
last job I had as a CPA.
I actually still have dinnerwith some of those people on a
regular basis.
And one of the gentlemen who Italked to every single day while
I was at the office, he was inWinnipeg and I was in Toronto.
(28:25):
We called him my Winnipeghusband because I had to talk to
him.
He managed some of the aspectsof what I was looking after.
So we talked every single dayand we still have dinner.
Whenever he's in town, we havedinner.
But my current work bestie eventhough I work for myself, my
current work bestie her name'sJenny and she is the Akashic
Nomad.
(28:45):
She's an Akashic records readerand I met her in a networking
meeting and we became instantbesties.
I actually flew down to Floridato visit her because I'm like
we have to meet in person andthere's a message on my phone
right now from her.
We message kind of every day ortwo.
What's going on?
I saw this, you're doing this.
Okay, let's talk about thisLike it's.
(29:07):
It's being an entrepreneur andbeing at work.
Even at work, you can feel andlonely especially my, especially
as women.
When you're in a corporateworld, you can be feel really
lonely because not only is ithighly still highly male
dominated, but sometimes thewomen in there are trying so
hard to climb that you don'tconnect in a way that feels
(29:30):
authentic.
So finding a bestie you canhang with oh my gosh, it makes
work worthwhile.
I would have stayed in that oldjob if I hadn't found a new
direction.
I would have stayed in thatcompany simply because of the
people that I got to work with,not because of the work.
Claude (29:52):
That is really difficult too, right.
I know the younger generationthat I manage, or whatever.
Sometimes you know when theyquit or and they leave and they
feel bad and I'm like you don'tstay for people.
You know your people willalways be your people.
And look, jess and I are workbesties.
(30:12):
Right, we have each other otherwork besties from all our
career before that become yourfriends.
Yeah, that's where you have tobe careful, though.
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (30:22):
Yeah , and it's interesting now with
remote and hybrid work, I findit's kind of harder.
People are feeling moreseparated.
Jess (30:29):
So, heather, if someone's listening right now who feels
completely drained oroverwhelmed or stuck, what's
that?
One thing that they need tohear today that could change
everything for them.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (30:44):
So the one thing they need to hear
is that it's not forever rightand if you can look past the
current situation and trust thatit will, maybe there's
something in it for you to payattention to.
Just pull yourself out of it.
Just pull yourself out even forfive minutes, minutes, and just
sit back for five minutes.
(31:05):
You've got five minutes andjust see if you can observe it
without getting caught up intoit, because then you're going to
see you will.
You will feel better, even ifyou don't have a solution, it
doesn't matter.
You will feel better just bystepping out of it for five
minutes.
And people get caught in thatstuff.
Claude (31:22):
Like before you say, the ripple effect, that five
minutes.
Once you see the benefits of it, you know that five will become
10, minutes will become 15, youknow.
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (31:32):
Yeah , over time I'm up to 30 now and
sometimes I'm like, oh, thatwas too short.
Jess (31:36):
So if you've been waiting for permission to put yourself
first, this is it Work Bestiecommunity, you.
So if you've been waiting forpermission to put yourself first
, this is it Work Bestiecommunity.
You've heard it from Heather.
If you need more, definitely goand follow her on her podcast.
So do you want to share with us, heather, how everyone can find
you?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (31:50):
So the easiest place to find
everything, including thepodcast, is on my website, and
it's heatherstewartco.
Claude (31:59):
Great, thank you.
I thank you so much, heather.
It was really so enlightening.
A lot of quick steps that wecan start with.
So to our listeners, workbesties.
If this episode resonated withyou, don't keep it to yourself
and, of course, don't forget tohit like and subscribe button
(32:20):
and stay connected and see younext week.
Thank you, bye.
Jess (32:25):
Remember whether you're swapping snacks in the break
room, rescuing each other fromendless meetings or just sending
that perfectly timed meme.
Having a work bestie is likehaving your own personal hype
squad, so keep lifting eachother.
Claude (32:40):
Personal hype squad, so keep lifting each other,
laughing through the chaos and,of course, thriving Until next
time stay positive, stayproductive and don't forget to
keep supporting each other.
Jess (32:54):
Work besties.
Do you ever feel like you're constantly giving but yet
never fulfilled?
What if the key to more, moreenergy, more joy, more purpose
was actually putting yourselffirst?
Today, Heather Stewart sharesthe one mind shift that will
change everything and, trust us,you'll want to stay to the end
to hear what our final questionis, because it might just be the
(00:22):
wake up call you need.
Claude (00:24):
Hi, I'm Claude and I'm Jess.
We are corporate employees byday, entrepreneurs by night and
work besties for life.
Jess (00:32):
Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up,
laugh through the chaos andthrive together in every
industry Work besties.
So hello and welcome to WorkBesties, heather.
We're so excited to have you.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (00:49):
Hey , this is going to be fun.
I already know we're going tohave an excellent time.
Learn a lot as well.
Jess (00:54):
Yes, yes, learn a lot.
So, heather Claude and I havedone a little bit of our own
investigations of you, becauseyou have a very impressive
podcast of your own, and wenoticed that you yourself have
this very prominent ability toreally help women who feel stuck
in life.
So I'm curious.
I imagine that this journey ofyours must come from something
(01:18):
personal, perhaps.
I'm wondering if you couldshare the story about how you
got involved in this.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (01:23):
I wonder if you could share the
story about how you got involvedin this Absolutely, and it's
funny because I think that in myyears and I used to do a lot of
coaching of coaches thateverybody will come.
The things that they come to,that they flourish at, are the
things they had to overcomethemselves, which is like a
perfect person to learn fromright, because they're like well
, they figured some stuff outand it doesn't mean that the
(01:43):
exact steps work for you, butthey might have some insights.
So I did originally what peoplewere supposed to do.
You know the.
You follow the path that is thesuccess as defined by the world
outside of us.
So I went to university, I gotmy degree, I became a CPA, I did
all the things.
(02:04):
I worked for a big company, Ibalanced billion dollar budgets
and I had the house in thesuburbs.
I could sit at a desk 12 hoursa day, about seven days a week,
and I still wouldn't have beendone all of the things that I
always needed to do.
And a few things happened.
This vice president that I wasfriends with one day said to me
have you tried yoga?
(02:25):
And I said oh, I've heardthat's really good for stress
reduction.
I'm an accountant, what do Iknow.
So he invited me to go and tryyoga at his yoga studio and then
, being the overachiever that Iwas, I was like I'm going to be
the best yogi ever.
It's like I'm going to go andde-stress five days a week and
I'm going to blah, blah, blah,blah.
I'm going to get a yoga butt.
(02:45):
And one day I was driving fromthe office to yoga and I'm in a
hurry because I've got to get toyoga, to de-stress, and I'm
driving through this very busyintersection to rush hour and
there's a lady crossing the roadin front of me and I'm like
what the blah, blah, blah, bleepit all out and are you trying
to get killed?
And I looked up and my lightwas red and I was just like my
(03:08):
God, I almost killed this woman.
I'm driving through the redlight and I'm looking in and
those people almost killed mebecause the cars are coming from
both directions.
So I was like, oh, okay, thiswas the first time I'd gotten a
big wake up call from theuniverse.
Well, the first big one.
(03:29):
I was like wow.
So a little while after that Iwas in my office and I was
trying to balance this budgetand I have the radio on behind
me and I'm trying to find.
This sounds ridiculous.
I'm trying to find anothermillion dollars.
So, moving things around,trying to find a million dollars
, and the radio was on and wewere publicly traded, but the
man who owned the majority ofthe shares the radio came on and
said how much he was worth.
(03:49):
And this voice in my head saidthis is BS.
This man does not need anothermillion dollars.
Why am I doing this?
And I kind of went.
I don't know why I'm doing this.
So I mean, it wasn't instant,overnight, that you know, I ran
a red light and then I quit myjob.
But that, I feel like, was thebeginning of me starting to pay
(04:10):
attention to my health, mystress levels, what my life was
structured like.
I just had this realization.
It was like this isn't what Iwant.
This wasn't what I wanted whenI was a little kid.
I needed more space to be ableto step into that kind of life.
So the final job that I was inwas a special project and it was
like the timing was perfect.
(04:30):
It was coming to an end and thenext step was going to be to
start running that division andI was going to probably be the
controller.
I mean, I shouldn't say theywere definitely going to make me
the controller, but I had beenthere from the beginning and I
was talking to one of mycolleagues.
I said you know, I don't wantanother promotion.
She started laughing and she'slike why?
So?
Well, yeah, it's money, it'srecognition, it's climbing the
(04:52):
corporate ladder, but thecurrency that I want is time,
and it's going to take more ofit and I don't have any more
time for them.
So I, as it was coming to an end, I went to my boss and I said
I'm quitting.
He said you seemed a bitdisengaged the last few months.
I said well, you know, yes, andwe had a nice conversation.
He was a really nice guy and Iquit my job and I got divorced
(05:16):
and I sold my house and I wentto India.
I promised my grandmother, whowas alive at the time, that I
would come back for Christmas.
So I was gone for three monthsand no agenda, no plan.
Did you know anyone there?
No, but interestingly, I took ayoga person with me who I had
(05:36):
met in yoga classes, because,talk about the universe, it was
a he.
Well, he still is a he.
He was working in a job and hewas about to take a leave of
absence because he wanted to goback to India, because he had
been there once.
One day in yoga, I said, can wejust have coffee and can you
kind of like give me the lay ofthe land if I just pick up and
go?
So he remember photo albums.
He brought a photo album withhim to show me pictures, tell me
(05:58):
about his trip.
And I told him what my plan was.
He's like shut up.
I'm like what he said.
I'm taking a leave of absencefrom work and I'm going to India
, and I'm like shut up.
So we went together, yeah, andwe're about to have our 20th
wedding anniversary this summer.
Claude (06:13):
To us.
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (06:13):
What a magical story Right, it was
not planned.
It was just kind of like theuniverse went oh, here's someone
to go with you.
Jess (06:30):
And, by the way, it's your soulmate.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (06:31):
But don't worry about that till
later.
That's very fascinating.
So you packed up, went to india.
What was your intent while youwere there?
What were you thinking?
I wanted some time away fromeverything, like everything here
.
You know canada I'm in canada,cities, family you need.
I just wanted what made mehappy and what made me excited
and what I wanted to do withoutstepping out of the everyday.
I'm a kind of go all in kind ofperson, obviously.
(06:53):
So I said well, if I'm going todo this, I'm going to go all in
and I'm going to go to acountry where nobody can find me
.
And when I came back, justreally briefly, I started
teaching yoga.
I opened my own yoga studio.
But I also went back to schoolfor two years, because where I
am, it takes two years of schoolto become a massage therapist.
So I became a massage therapist.
Jess (07:14):
How did you get from being a massage therapist then into
life coaching?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (07:20):
So it's kind of funny because I was
teaching yoga, I also became apersonal trainer and I'm doing
massage therapy.
When I first started, I wasworking in a clinic and they
knew my old life, so they wouldcome to me with letters.
Heather, the government sent mea letter.
You have to help me.
So I started business coaching,started business coaching for
health and wellness because yogateachers, massage therapists,
(07:41):
personal trainers all thesepeople they're lovely souls,
they're amazing people, but youhave to send an invoice if you
want to get paid and they feelbad about invoicing people.
I'm like, oh, my goodness,let's talk about it, like let's
build this business so that youcan actually pay your rent.
So I started doing businesscoaching.
When I'm massaging people, theyspent more time with me than
(08:03):
their doctors, unless they had atherapist.
I felt like I was a bartender.
You know, they're asking mequestions.
I'm like I'm not qualified toanswer these questions, but I'll
give you my opinions.
They would just ask me allthese questions and I felt like
I was coaching people while Iwas massaging people and then,
in 2021, I had a stroke.
Yes, I did.
(08:24):
I saw your eyeballs go.
Wait a minute, now what?
So it was COVID.
This is a rollercoaster.
This is my life.
It was Friday night, it wasHalloween weekend.
I was watching TV and one of myeyeballs went kind of sideways
and I couldn't see properly.
And I stood up and I'm like,I'm really tired, my eyeball's
hurting, I can't see straight.
I said.
I actually said I don't thinkI'm having a stroke, I'm not
(08:50):
slurring, I'm still cognitivelyaware, I still have all my
strength, I'm just going to goto bed.
And I went to bed.
So the next morning I got up andit was still there and we have
a thing called telehealth here.
So I phoned and I said this iswhat's happening.
Came and she said okay, you'vehad a stroke.
And I'm like whatever.
I didn't believe her and shesaid we're admitting you.
(09:20):
So I was in the ER for threedays.
I couldn't see properly becausewhen my eyes did eventually
straighten out, but if I put onmy glasses I got super nauseous.
So I couldn't do the escapeinto the scroll that people do
when they're trying to avoidstuff.
So the universe ensured that Ihad nothing to do but lay there
and watch what was going onoutside, I think yeah.
I think, and I kind of at onepoint went okay, I'm in the
hospital, that's great, that'sperfect, this is a good place to
(09:49):
be.
I'd actually had two strokes.
I said, okay, so they'relooking after me, good.
So what's this all about?
And I meditated a lot becausewhat else are you going to do?
I said okay, and the messagewas business coaching is too
small, you know, massage is toosmall, personal training is too
small, yoga is too small.
These are all just pieces.
You need to be looking at thewhole person.
The life coach thing came in.
It's like the whole person.
You need to help them, becauseeverybody who has a little
struggle, it's impactingeverything else and the little
(10:11):
struggle might be actually asymptom of something else.
So we need the whole picture tocome in.
I'm like, okay, I got it.
And while I was laying there,that's where my podcast came
from as well.
I mean, it's called Back to Meon Purpose, the Back to Me
podcast, because it was like,okay, so I need to help people
figure out how to get back tothemselves so they take care of
(10:33):
themselves.
Claude (10:34):
Take care.
It's like with all this lifethat you had, like you had
500,000,.
There's always this positivityand that is so, so nice to hear.
You know that you say theuniverse talked to me.
It was, I was there for areason, because you could have
gone the other way around, andjust to hear that positivity is
(10:58):
just incredible thank you, andit's funny because I feel like
that's a choice.
Heather Stewart, Life Coa (11:05):
Right , that is a huge choice and it
just popped into my head.
So I just in December of 2024,I was contributed a chapter to a
book and it's called.
The book is called Finding yourValue, but my chapter is called
Life is Suffering Unless youChoose, and it's about making
conscious decisions about how doyou want to be.
(11:27):
I mean, you get you actuallyget to choose.
Someone can't make you unhappy.
They can do things and youchoose to be unhappy about it,
or you react in anger or youchoose.
Yeah, that's, you can be likethat, but you're not going to
interrupt my awesome, myawesomeness today.
Jess (11:43):
Sorry, so it sounds like, across each of these different
parts of your life, what you didis you almost took the effects
and slowed down to figure outwhat was really going on or what
was really meant for you.
I feel like that's a key lessonfor a lot of people.
Right Is the slowing down,because a lot of times something
(12:05):
bad happens, or or good, andyou're like just gone to the
next, maybe not even like takingthe time to reflect on what
happened.
Heather Stewart, Life Coa (12:12):
Right .
Jess (12:14):
And then a lot of people don't do it because of the whole
feeling guilty about takingcare of themselves first.
So what are some of the thingsthat you do, or or even maybe to
your, your clients, that youlife coach to really help kind
of overcome that guilt?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (12:29):
And it's funny because people
understand intellectually thatit's important for you to be
your best self.
Every time you get on anairplane, put on your mask first
, like I know it's very cliche,but it just makes on your mask
first, because if you pass out,you can't help anybody.
But when it comes to life,that's not how we operate.
(12:50):
We're like, yes, yes, I get it,totally get it, and then you
don't follow through and do it,and for me, that speaks a lot
about your value.
You value the people and thethings outside of you more than
you value yourself.
Yeah, and people get upsetsometimes when I tell them that
you say that, yeah, becausethey're like I love myself, I
(13:12):
love myself.
I'm like no, you do, but youdon't put yourself first.
So everything outside of you isoutside of you.
Well, we could go into thewhole world of energetics where
everything's connected, butlet's stay in our 3D bodies
right now.
You are the only person who willalways be here and you are the
(13:35):
only person who will alwaysadvocate for you and always take
care of you.
And that's not to say thatthere's people out there who
don't love you and won't takecare of you, but they can only
take care of you to the extentthat they have capacity, and
that's not to say that you are abad person for wanting to be
taken care of.
Like come on seriously.
But we are taught, and we aretaught by our mothers, who
(13:58):
always put the children abovethemselves.
You know, the martyr thing isso glamorous and it's like this.
This ingrained understanding ofyou have put other people above
you Especially your kids, yeah.
People will even put their petsabove themselves, and I mean,
I've had pets, I get it, andthis is a hard pill for people
to swallow is you are the onlyperson who you should put first.
(14:22):
Everyone else can be second,but you should always put
yourself first.
Jess (14:26):
And are there like practices or things that you do?
To help people, because youcan't just say that to someone
and have it.
Claude (14:31):
I know turn a switch right it's like the day I walked
, break this visual circle,right it is.
Heather Stewart, Life (14:37):
Sometimes I just say which exit will you
choose?
Like you're driving on thehighway of everybody else.
Which exit will you choose?
But I just sneak in littlethings because one of the
easiest ways to easiest,simplest ways is to get to know
who you are, because a lot ofpeople like you were saying they
want to move past something,they want to move past an
(14:57):
experience, good or bad, becausestaying in the experience means
you have to experience it.
Like I'm saying, we don't livein pleasant, no bad things will
happen and it's okay that theydo.
Like I'm saying, we don't livein pleasant, no bad things will
happen and it's okay that theyhappen.
It doesn't make you a badperson.
And I have one client who's likeI just like to tick things off
my to-do list.
I said okay, but do you stopand go and enjoy the feeling of
(15:18):
having something ticked off ordo you just go to the next thing
Because she just wants to tick?
It's a little dopamine.
But if you don't take eventhose little moments good, bad
feeling, the experience younever have the opportunity to
know your inner, inside self.
And we don't teach kids maybewe do now understanding who you
(15:43):
are Because we always tell themwhat to do.
You're going to go to thisgrade, this is your teacher.
You're going to this party,this is what you're going to
learn.
So when they get to teenagerwhich is how I probably became
an accountant you get toteenager and you're like I don't
know what I like, when Istarted realizing what actually
made me happy.
You know people the follow yourpassion, like I.
(16:03):
I'm not a fan of cliches andoverused things, but people like
them, so follow your passion.
I would always go.
What?
What does that mean?
But I just follow where mycuriosity takes me, what seems
interesting, what makes meexcited to go and do.
And what happens to me is whenI learn something, I want to
teach someone else how to do it,and that is my driving force.
Claude (16:26):
So how do you learn, like, how do you teach someone
to one?
First take a step back, find apassion, because sometimes it's
not easy, you don't have thetime to look what is my passion,
so how do you put in someone'smindset that it's okay, stop and
look around and it's and Jesshad mentioned too like how fast
(16:47):
people are going.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (16:48):
So don't look outside of you for
how to slow down, becausenothing outside of you is
slowing down.
Everything is going faster andfaster and faster.
So I usually call myself a reallife coach, because what I want
people to be able to do iswhatever they find is going to
help them.
It has to fit into their lifeas it is right now.
So I'm not going to say, well,you have to stop doing that
(17:09):
because that's not practical.
So we find small little chinksto start to create some space.
So one of the things I askpeople to do which sounds funny,
is daydream, because yourproblem-solving brain is very
logical and linear.
You have to find the solution.
This is the accountant brain,right.
But your creative brain thatcan make connections that don't
(17:33):
seem to make sense or can comeup with solutions that are just
kind of off the wall or speak toyou about what you dream about,
it gets shut down when you'realways in that spreadsheet mode.
I mean, I meditate every day andI have for a long time, when I
first started, five minutes.
People say I can't meditate.
(17:54):
I'm like it's because you don'tknow what it is.
That's why you say you can'tmeditate.
Anybody can meditate, and now Ido longer.
But I'm also practiced andmeditation practices like yoga
are good.
Tai Chi is good Anything thatinvolves some kind of
(18:15):
mindfulness.
And some people need movement,which is why Tai Chi and yoga
are good.
Some people are good justsitting, but before I tell them
to go into, like when peopleused to come to take yoga from
me, they wanted a yoga but Ididn't tell them that that's not
what they were going to get,that what they were going to get
was a chance to be quiet andlisten to the inside of their
head, because that would scarepeople away.
So instead I say stare out thewindow and daydream for five
(18:39):
minutes, set a timer if you feelyou really need to.
If you daydream longer, it'sokay.
Giving yourself that time forthe thoughts to be unstructured
and flow and just watch them.
That's how you're going tostart to get to know yourself.
And when you've noticed startingto notice how you speak to
yourself, so you'll notice howother people speak to themselves
(19:02):
.
Like I was talking to a ladythe other day who kept calling
herself an idiot, I've said Idon't think that's the best way
to talk to yourself, you know.
But we do it and don't evenrealize it, because it's so
common, so it takes some time.
Nothing's instantaneous, youknow.
You can't go to the gym onceand expect to have a six pack.
Jess (19:22):
Wish.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (19:23):
I know me too.
Jess (19:23):
I think you're bringing up some really valid points.
It's like it does take time.
There's a lot of mini steps toget you there, let's say right,
but most people get sooverwhelmed by it and they kind
of get to the point of like Idon't even know where to start.
What's the best way out of this?
So what do you do when somebodyis almost like in that frazzled
state they're not right quiteyet to like?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (19:45):
be, silent be in the moment, yeah,
and the frazzled state is I hadthis great visualist explain to
me one day because I wasfrazzled myself that day and it
was my chiropractor of allpeople.
He said, heather, it's likeyou're juggling all of the balls
.
He said you've got them.
You've got them.
You're freaking out.
If I throw you another ballit's going to crash.
(20:06):
So it's like this oh my God, ohmy God, oh my God, oh my God.
So he said why don't you putsome down, like, take a really
close look at your life.
Is there stuff that you'redoing that you don't need to be
doing?
You know, I know, if you havekids, if you have jobs, but
there are probably.
I mean, mark Manson wrote abook the Subtle Art of subtle
art of not giving a f but.
But don't be a, don't be a jerkabout it, but it's like we, we
(20:28):
pile things into our lifebecause I feel like personally,
because there's too many beercommercials out there telling us
how fabulous life needs to beat every moment.
So it's like you need to behaving fun with your friends,
you need to have the epic job,you need to have the cafe
lifestyle, you need to have theclothes, you need to be epic and
that takes too much energy.
So when people are feelingoverwhelmed like I've actually
(20:51):
had a couple lately who werejust like losing their minds I
say get a giant piece of paperand write down everything that's
in your head, because your headis a factory, it's not a
warehouse.
You can't store all of thethings that are going on and
swirling around in your brain,in your brain.
You have to get it down onpaper or some way out of your
head.
If you like typing it intosomething, you can do that.
(21:12):
I'm old school, I use paper andI have a big old white board
that I use and it's like I needto do this.
I have to make sure I rememberthis.
You know I'm supposed to bedoing this.
I'd like to be doing this.
I'd like to lose 20 pounds, butfirst I need to do this, but I
need to make dinner for the kids.
Next week it's somebody'sbirthday.
Like, write it all down.
Sometimes I'll use post-itnotes because then I can move
them around.
So I'm like okay, these thingskind of go together and you can
(21:34):
start to get some organizationof what's actually priority,
what is actually important.
Sometimes, when you say stuffout loud, you realize that
sounds stupid when I say it outloud.
It's actually not thatimportant and you can throw it
in the garbage, right.
Jess (21:46):
Yeah, because I think that that helps cut the clutter.
Heather Stewart, Life Coa (21:49):
Right .
Jess (21:49):
A lot of times when you are overwhelmed, it's because
you're thinking about more ofthe like here and now versus the
longer term things, and thatwould help you compartmentalize,
like what's really the thingsyou have to focus on when you
get everything out of your head,because we do sit in these
thoughts, we let them kind oflike this tornado over our head
and we're trying to make senseof it.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (22:10):
And you can't make sense of it when
it's blowing around in yourhead.
It's like you need to give it aform out on paper and when you
see it you're like, okay, I gotthis, I can manage this.
Jess (22:29):
And the other thing that people often don't do is they
don't ask for help.
Right, I was going to, I wasgoing to ask you one of the
things cause I've seen that alot of what you do is you
navigate?
People through, like major lifetransformations.
Right, and what is I was.
This is probably what it isLike.
What's that one bit advice thatyou would give someone that's
trying to make those big changes?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (22:38):
Big changes Does it have to do with
?
Jess (22:40):
like asking for help.
Heather Stewart, Life Co (22:41):
Asking for help.
But it's also being reallyclear on what you want and what
do you want your life to looklike after the change is done.
Because if you're stuck in themiddle of the chaos of the
change and you don't have aclear image of what it's going
to look like when it's done themama who comes from the kitchen
what's that song from theseventies I can make the bacon
and bring it home and cook it upin the pan and blah blah.
(23:04):
It's like really no, you canask for help.
You can get the dude to makedinner.
Like seriously.
Jess (23:09):
Yeah, and I think you bring up a good point.
I think generations were raiseda little differently.
The good news is, a lot of usare now educating our kids that
it's okay to ask for help.
You should be asking for help.
You should put yourself foryourself first.
So hopefully, some of thesehurdles that I don't want to
call us the older generation,but some of us that have
(23:30):
experienced generations.
Some of us experiencers willhopefully change some of that,
but I do think it's value addedto your point to reinforce those
things.
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (23:41):
Well , and the thing, sometimes, the
resistance to self-care, takingcare of yourself, is you feel
like it's taking away fromsomeone else, right?
So if I do this for me, I'mstealing something from someone,
or if I do this to me, I'mbeing selfish, and we look upon
selfishness as as bad yeah, itgoes back to one of the earlier
(24:02):
questions guilt right right as aselfishness or top thinking
about yourself is like a badthing and there there are people
who do it that like, to thatextent
Claude (24:13):
do you think that it's more women than men?
Oh yeah, because men, I don'tthink they have that guilt.
They don't.
It's like different right, theyare fine doing it.
Yeah, I'm not doing it.
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (24:25):
Good friend, who's a coach, a
gentleman, and we had thisconversation one day, the
difference between men and women.
He said men just go in and fixit and do it and don't worry
about it, and women worry aboutthis and that and it's everyone
being taken care of and and it'sjust conditioning really.
And I brought up theselfishness part because it's
not a blanket if you take careof yourself, you're not being
(24:46):
selfish.
It selfishness part becauseit's not a blanket.
If you take care of yourself,you're not being selfish.
It's the energy behind, it'salways the energy behind.
So if I'm doing it and I'mbeing selfish about it, then
it's going to be selfish.
If I'm doing it because I knowif I get eight hours of sleep
tonight, that's my favoriteself-care thing, by the way, if
I get eight hours of sleeptonight, I'll be a great person
(25:07):
tomorrow.
Claude (25:08):
Right.
I think it's also society thatmakes you feel guilty.
Yes, right.
So it's almost like how can weeven change the society?
I guess it's like reallylistening to ourself more people
to be able to do it.
Heather Stewart, Life Co (25:22):
That's why I talk on so many podcasts,
that's why I coach people,that's why I have my own podcast
and I'm in some groups that,like I'm in this group called
the High Vibe Soul Tribe, whichI love, and it's about, you know
, paying attention, payingattention to your inner voice,
and sometimes your inner voiceis telling you to go and do
something for someone becausethey need that.
(25:43):
Sometimes it's understandingthe dialogue that you have with
yourself and the dialogue of whoyou are, and it's not the voice
that criticizes you Like that'ssomebody else's voice that
you've installed software on soyou can take that software out.
Software that you have issupportive and wants you to be
your best.
Jess (26:03):
So it's starting to be able to recognize those
different voices that speak toyou inside your head and not
saying that you're crazy, youknow so either we kind of touch
on it too, though, like I dothink there's an element of
generational, so the experience,the experience ones that have
gone through it, so I agree withyou, it's we need to be the
ones that are sitting there andtalking to what's going on in
our heads and re-remindingourselves of unconditioning
(26:25):
those conditions.
But at the same time we shouldbe thinking about how what we
say and do not just what we say,but what we do is what the
future generations will enactupon.
If we don't do it, if we justsay it, then then you're kind of
still that's.
Heather Stewart, Life Co (26:42):
That's like saying, saying, oh, I
understand how to do self-care,and then sitting at your back
desk for 12 hours.
You're not demonstrating,you're not walking the talk,
you're saying, you're justgiving it lip service, right, so
that's not.
So it's doing, saying and doingI always.
You know, people ask me what mygoals are in life.
(27:02):
I'm like I've got to change theworld.
And if you can shift one personlike I don't even care how many
people listen to the podcast Iwas like if one person hears
something that changes them,they're going to change how they
are in their community andthey're going to change how they
interact with their community,and then it's going to be like
that shampoo commercial.
Jess (27:25):
And they told two people.
And they told two people.
Heather Stewart, Life Co (27:26):
That's I mean in fairness that's what
we, why we build podcasts is forcommunities, right right.
Jess (27:29):
The intent is obviously, can we make a shift in general?
But how do you talk to evenjust those few people?
Who then will talk to morepeople?
Who will talk to more people sothat the movement occurs?
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (27:39):
it's not something you have to talk
about, it's living, but beingthe living example.
Jess (27:44):
Right, yeah, yeah so our podcast is about work besties.
We've yet to ask you anyquestions oh, my god work bestie
um, from whether a lifecoaching aspect or even just
maybe from your prior workingtime frame.
Did you have a work bestie thathelped you at some point, or
vice versa?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (28:04):
So I've had lots through my careers
Like I'm thinking about, youknow, when I my the last, the
last job I had as a CPA.
I actually still have dinnerwith some of those people on a
regular basis.
And one of the gentlemen who Italked to every single day while
I was at the office, he was inWinnipeg and I was in Toronto.
(28:25):
We called him my Winnipeghusband because I had to talk to
him.
He managed some of the aspectsof what I was looking after.
So we talked every single dayand we still have dinner.
Whenever he's in town, we havedinner.
But my current work bestie eventhough I work for myself, my
current work bestie her name'sJenny and she is the Akashic
Nomad.
(28:45):
She's an Akashic records readerand I met her in a networking
meeting and we became instantbesties.
I actually flew down to Floridato visit her because I'm like
we have to meet in person andthere's a message on my phone
right now from her.
We message kind of every day ortwo.
What's going on?
I saw this, you're doing this.
Okay, let's talk about thisLike it's.
(29:07):
It's being an entrepreneur andbeing at work.
Even at work, you can feel andlonely especially my, especially
as women.
When you're in a corporateworld, you can be feel really
lonely because not only is ithighly still highly male
dominated, but sometimes thewomen in there are trying so
hard to climb that you don'tconnect in a way that feels
(29:30):
authentic.
So finding a bestie you canhang with oh my gosh, it makes
work worthwhile.
I would have stayed in that oldjob if I hadn't found a new
direction.
I would have stayed in thatcompany simply because of the
people that I got to work with,not because of the work.
Claude (29:52):
That is really difficult too, right.
I know the younger generationthat I manage, or whatever.
Sometimes you know when theyquit or and they leave and they
feel bad and I'm like you don'tstay for people.
You know your people willalways be your people.
And look, jess and I are workbesties.
(30:12):
Right, we have each other otherwork besties from all our
career before that become yourfriends.
Yeah, that's where you have tobe careful, though.
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (30:22):
Yeah , and it's interesting now with
remote and hybrid work, I findit's kind of harder.
People are feeling moreseparated.
Jess (30:29):
So, heather, if someone's listening right now who feels
completely drained oroverwhelmed or stuck, what's
that?
One thing that they need tohear today that could change
everything for them.
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (30:44):
So the one thing they need to hear
is that it's not forever rightand if you can look past the
current situation and trust thatit will, maybe there's
something in it for you to payattention to.
Just pull yourself out of it.
Just pull yourself out even forfive minutes, minutes, and just
sit back for five minutes.
(31:05):
You've got five minutes andjust see if you can observe it
without getting caught up intoit, because then you're going to
see you will.
You will feel better, even ifyou don't have a solution, it
doesn't matter.
You will feel better just bystepping out of it for five
minutes.
And people get caught in thatstuff.
Claude (31:22):
Like before you say, the ripple effect, that five
minutes.
Once you see the benefits of it, you know that five will become
10, minutes will become 15, youknow.
Heather Stewart, Life Coac (31:32):
Yeah , over time I'm up to 30 now and
sometimes I'm like, oh, thatwas too short.
Jess (31:36):
So if you've been waiting for permission to put yourself
first, this is it Work Bestiecommunity, you.
So if you've been waiting forpermission to put yourself first
, this is it Work Bestiecommunity.
You've heard it from Heather.
If you need more, definitely goand follow her on her podcast.
So do you want to share with us, heather, how everyone can find
you?
Heather Stewart, Life Coach (31:50):
So the easiest place to find
everything, including thepodcast, is on my website, and
it's heatherstewartco.
Claude (31:59):
Great, thank you.
I thank you so much, heather.
It was really so enlightening.
A lot of quick steps that wecan start with.
So to our listeners, workbesties.
If this episode resonated withyou, don't keep it to yourself
and, of course, don't forget tohit like and subscribe button
(32:20):
and stay connected and see younext week.
Thank you, bye.
Jess (32:25):
Remember whether you're swapping snacks in the break
room, rescuing each other fromendless meetings or just sending
that perfectly timed meme.
Having a work bestie is likehaving your own personal hype
squad, so keep lifting eachother.
Claude (32:40):
Personal hype squad, so keep lifting each other,
laughing through the chaos and,of course, thriving Until next
time stay positive, stayproductive and don't forget to
keep supporting each other.
Jess (32:54):
Work besties.
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