February 24, 2025 • 43 mins
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome & Embracing Self-Love with Mss Francois | Work Besties Who Podcast
In this uplifting Work Besties Who Podcast episode, Mss Francois shares her powerful journey of overcoming imposter syndrome, embracing self-love, and finding resilience through life’s challenges. Known for her vibrant personality and candid storytelling, Mss Francois dives into practical strategies for building confidence, fostering supportive relationships, and using humor as a healing tool.
✨ What You'll Learn:
-How self-love and resilience can pull you out of work slumps
-Why laughter is a powerful remedy for mental well-being
-The importance of surrounding yourself with positive influences
-How to tackle imposter syndrome by recognizing your achievements
-Why creating a "power list" can boost motivation and confidence
-How small daily affirmations can transform your mindset
-Why embracing your unique gifts leads to greater fulfillment
-How community support fuels personal and professional growth
Mss Francois reminds us that true success starts from within—by celebrating who you are, finding joy in the journey, and building a community that uplifts and empowers.
💫 Listen now and start embracing the most authentic version of YOU!
🔑 Keywords: #selflove #resilience #impostersyndrome #supportiverelationships #community #laughter #personaldevelopment #confidence #MssFrancois #mentalhealth
🎧 Subscribe, rate, and share with your work besties! Let’s grow together!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jess (00:00):
Hello work besties, welcome back.
We have a very exciting episodetoday.
Let's talk about when you havethose work slumps.
I'm sure you've had them.
I know I've had them.
Well, maybe it's that littlevoice inside your head that
keeps telling you you're justnot good enough.
Well, we're here today to tellyou that we have an exciting
guest who's going to talk to usabout self-love, self-resilience
(00:23):
and even some of us who mightdeal with imposter syndrome
Don't know who that is in thisroom.
So we're joined by the one andonly Ms Francois.
She's a speaker, an entertainer, an author and just an
extraordinaire.
She talks about how to get yourgroove back and she's going to
really bring this to light andalso probably make us laugh a
(00:46):
lot, and if you ever struggledwith imposter syndrome or just
need a boost of self-love, thisepisode is for you.
Claude (00:53):
Hi, I'm Claude and I'm Jess.
We are corporate employees byday, entrepreneurs by night and
work besties for life.
Jess (01:02):
Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up,
laugh through the chaos andthrive together in every
industry.
Work Besties.
Hey, ms Frances, it's so greatto meet you.
Mss Francois (01:16):
Nice to meet you.
I know I get that a lot fromeveryone, but thank you.
Jess (01:21):
Why don't you tell us a little bit about?
Mss Francois (01:23):
yourself.
Okay.
So, as you guys told everyone,my name is Ms Francois.
No, I didn't spell the Ms wrong.
It's M-S-S for multi-talentedand super sexy, so let's just
get that right.
So, with that said, I'm anauthor, speaker and best-selling
Amazon author.
That recently happened, so I'msuper excited, okay.
Okay, so I am mostly known forI host a tv show called the Miss
(01:46):
Francois show, which I havecandid conversation, but the
main thing about the show is Iuse humor to help others with
their dysfunctionalrelationships.
In addition, I'm the founder ofStriving Goddesses, which is a
community of women that aresingle, helping them heal from
breakups or even consider thosethat are exploring new avenues,
(02:08):
new relationships, or makingsure, before they enter in those
new relationships, that theyare at their best and, when they
enter into the next chapter oftheir life, that they're in
confidence, the utmostconfidence.
Sign us up.
Jess (02:21):
Even though we're married, I still need the confidence.
Ms Fritzl, your energy isunmatched.
I feel like I'm getting justlike extra zelts of power just
by talking with you, so Ithought you could give us a
little bit about your journeyand how you got there.
I know, based on your accent,that you're from somewhere the
greatest island on earth.
Mss Francois (02:43):
So I am from Trinidad and Tobago, just so you
know.
It's also one of the sexiestaccents in the world and, yes,
you can Google that people, soyou're welcome.
Claude (02:52):
I thought you were French.
Mss Francois (02:55):
I have a French last name, so I can have a sexy
last name.
I'm sorry.
Jess (03:00):
You're going to battle for who's the sexiest.
It's definitely not me.
Mss Francois (03:05):
So I came from Trinidad in my late teens and
what the person you see todaydefinitely was not the child
that came here.
Because when you come from aforeign country and maybe,
claude, you might have some ofthis, but I had one of those.
Really I call it the immigrantstory, because most immigrant
story is not positive.
So when I came here, I stayedwith family and a lot of times
(03:27):
when you're coming from aforeign country, you're staying
with your family First.
They talk about all theseamazing things, and when you
come to America, clothes is free, everything is free, money is
everywhere Right, and a lot oftimes, according to who you stay
with, they mistreat you.
So I had one of thosesituations that, by the end of
(03:51):
it all, I only stayed there forabout a year and I came home one
day and they put all mybelongings which was not that
much because I was only therefor a year in a black garbage
bag.
So think about being 17.
You're still clueless aboutthis whole country, because
where I came from, everyone youwould call your auntie and your
uncle was a big family.
I have eight brothers andsisters.
To come to a country whereeveryone is Russian and I'm
talking from my experience.
It was not a friendly place tolive.
Everyone was Russian, no one ishelping you, everyone is for
(04:12):
themselves.
So I didn't have that familyoriented thing that I was
accustomed to.
So here I am on the streetswith a black garbage bag, have
no idea where to go, no idea whoto talk to, what's my next step
.
So I say all that to say I'mglad I'm one of those people.
Because of my upbringing I wasalways polite and respectful to
strangers, because a strangerwho I used to tell good morning
(04:35):
every day and good evening everyevening was a person who ended
up finding me a place to stayfor that night and was
responsible for making mebecause I lived in New Jersey
for a year responsible forhelping me move to New York.
So I always say be nice toeverybody.
You know it's all about formingrelationships because you never
know your situation.
You don't, you really don't.
Jess (04:59):
That's a very moving story and I'm glad it worked, you
telling me it worked outpositive.
I was like where?
Mss Francois (05:03):
are you going telling me it worked out
positive.
I was like, where are you going?
No, but those are the thingsthat actually help.
I could either slow you down orbuild you up, and I'm glad that
I was able to be built upbecause of some of those stories
is the reason I do some of thethings that I do today.
Jess (05:16):
I was gonna yeah, I was gonna ask you.
I was gonna ask you about thatbecause it seems like you had
somebody to help you in the verybeginning.
So is that what spun you tothen turn around and reach out
to other people and help them?
Mss Francois (05:30):
No, definitely Cause.
Um, steve jobs, I would sayconnected.
That's going backwards.
And I do that all the timebecause if it wasn't for all
those dots, when I look back,even the show that I basically
do is really everything isrelationships.
But I always tell people I'mnot a relationship coach, I'm
just the person that's going tohelp you be your best self
before you enter into that nextrelationship or before you go
(05:51):
into whatever new journey youmight have.
But because of all my badrelationships attracting all the
people and I takeresponsibility I think that's
something a lot of us don't do.
We like to blame the otherperson.
Yes, they are at some fault atsome shape or form, but at the
(06:11):
same time, what responsibilityam I taking for myself in those
relationships?
What kind of person was I being?
What kind of energy was Igiving off?
How did I feel about myself?
And that's the reason Iattracted certain people.
Claude (06:19):
But because of these things again, I'm able to have a
TV show, hopefully, and I knowfor a fact helping other people
(06:49):
see the different dynamics ofrelationships, having coaches
and other people come on yourguests or your audience to break
that very vicious circle.
Mss Francois (06:53):
So it's.
It's so many different things.
It's just the simple, smallthings.
It's definitely just simplething as looking in the mirror.
A lot of times when you look ina mirror you hate yourself.
Or sometimes you get up in themorning every.
If you think about it when youget up in the morning, if you
think about it when you get upin the morning while you're
brushing, you're teeth bathingyour mind, all these thoughts
come in.
And most of the time, why is italways negative thoughts?
It's always I'm way too much,my hair look this way, I need to
(07:17):
exercise.
It's just a bunch of negativethings.
So one of the things I do tellpeople start small.
I don't know if you know DamienAmen.
He's a psychologist, a braindoctor.
He scanned like thousands andthousands of brains, right, and
he said simple things of askingyourself a question.
When a negative thoughts cometo mind, you ask yourself five
questions.
The first thing you askyourself is that true?
(07:40):
So if it says, am I never goingto get married?
You ask yourself is that true?
And he said a lot of the timeit breaks the cycle of your
negative thought.
But even if it didn't, he saidthe second question would be
that absolute, because sometimespeople might be like, yeah,
according to what's going on inmy life, maybe I would never get
married.
But the second question is isit absolutely a hundred percent
(08:02):
true?
And a lot of times it's goingto crack that whole thought and
be like, well, not really.
And then you start to think of,maybe if I did this more, if I
do that more, and he said how doyou?
The third thing is how do youfeel when you have these that
particular negative thoughts?
And he would go into well, Idon't feel good because I don't
feel like I'm pretty enough or Idon't feel men are attracted to
me.
So we go into the fourthquestion is how would you feel
(08:25):
if you could not have thatthought right?
And the fourth and I'm going togo straight into the fifth
question is basically turn thethought around, cause if I'm
saying I would never get married, first you're going to break it
down.
Why I say that?
What are all the things I cando to put myself out there?
Maybe I w I did go on dates,maybe it's just so many things
you can turn around.
(08:46):
So it's really asking yourselfthe right questions to break
that thought and starting totalk to yourself in a positive
way.
And even if you all think fivequestions is a lot, believe me,
by the first or second questionyou're like please.
You know this nonsense.
You're talking.
Claude (09:01):
I'm trying to be nice.
Mss Francois (09:02):
The politically correct I'm not good at, so I
just get straight to the point.
Claude (09:05):
Yeah, my first question would be why do you want to get
married?
That's a whole other podcast.
Jess (09:11):
You have to talk to your husband.
I think, though, let's bring itback to the element of imposter
syndrome, because, in essence,that's what you're doing right
You're doubting yourself.
So similar type of thingshappen in work, where, like, you
get potentially asked to applyfor a position and you're like
nope, I'm not going to do itbecause I don't know how to do
(09:31):
everything.
I think those five questionsare similar, that you could push
on yourself, too, to kind ofovercome some of those things.
Mss Francois (09:39):
Oh, because I do.
I do a lot of personaldevelopment.
I attend a lot of classes.
One of the number one thing hashelped me directly with
imposter syndrome is I made upthis thing called the powerless
right.
What you do in the powerless.
You write down, you look in yourpast and all the things you
have accomplished.
So maybe you bought a house,you have a kid, you got married,
whatever is amazing to you,Business, professional life, you
(10:04):
had a degree, whatever it mightbe right.
You write down all these thingsand anytime you start to feel a
certain way, you remindyourself of all the things you
have accomplished, Because atsome point in time, when you was
in school doing your bachelor'sdegree, you was like, oh my God
, I'm never going to think I'mnot making the right marks, I'm
going to fail.
And now you have a degree.
So you look back.
We all have these things thatcome up for us.
(10:26):
But if you look back up all thethings you have accomplished,
big or small, it gives you thatenergy and push to be like, if I
did this, at this time I can dowhatever the new thing that
comes in your life that needs topush you forward.
So that's one of the things youdo and one of the things I added
to the power list, in additionis in that moment, what did you
(10:47):
need to overcome?
So, if it's in the past, it wasyour bachelor's degree and you
were struggling.
Who did you need to be in thattime?
So, maybe you needed to beresilient, Maybe you needed to
be powerful, you needed to beconsistent.
So what did you have to be inthat moment that you were able
to accomplish your bachelor'sdegree?
And maybe you could use some ofthat in the present moment for
(11:09):
whatever goal or vision you havefor yourself in this moment
Sounds like what you'resuggesting is to envision it.
Jess (11:15):
So come up with whatever those characteristics or
elements you want to lean yourstrengths in on and envision
that and that will help you getthrough, right.
Mss Francois (11:23):
But I would say write it down, because when you,
when you go into certain things, you hold that list Like okay,
I did this this and this this.
And sometimes the feeling thatyou had when you cause we forget
about all the things we haveaccomplished, you get yeah, yeah
, yeah, and then two years pass,you forget about it Cause I
have used it so much.
When I look back Becausesometimes, when you're going
through something right now,it's frustrating, it's hard you
(11:46):
think of oh, I'll never do it,but you accomplish so much and
that excitement of I did a TEDxtalk, I did my degree, I have my
kid, I sent my kid off tocollege, I bought a house.
You remember those times and,believe me, whatever you're
working on now, it's going togive you that extra boost to go
over that challenge.
Claude (12:07):
I think that if you have imposter syndrome, you had it
all throughout your life.
And I love the fact that yousay go back and say, ok, I had
an imposter syndrome during my,let's say, my bachelor degree,
but I did it syndrome during my,let's say, my bachelor degree,
(12:28):
but I did it.
So and I love this thought ofgoing back and I did have that
feeling at the time but I wasable to overcome.
Mss Francois (12:33):
And it's celebrating yourself,
celebrating your small wins,your big wins.
So in this moment, you couldbelieve that I am going to win
on whatever I'm doing right nowand again, like you said,
imposter syndrome is all throughyour life.
Some of you have overcomesomething and like after I did
this, I could do anything.
And then something else comesup.
Jess (12:51):
Yeah, you got to consistently.
It's funny, though I don't feellike I've had imposter syndrome
my whole life, but there arecertain things that I know
that's so selfish of me.
Mss Francois (13:00):
Why I love it.
Jess (13:05):
There are.
There are certain things thatdo trigger it, though right, and
it's certain specific ways I ammanaged.
Claude (13:08):
I will say but you don't have one because you always
tell me I usually don't.
But you always say fake ituntil you make it.
Yes, I, I love it.
Meanwhile you don't have it.
Jess (13:17):
Meanwhile I have the major one but I do in certain
instances, and I think it'sagain, it's because, like, and
maybe that's what is ingrained.
Mss Francois (13:25):
So in Jess's case, maybe she does have it, but
since she has tools andstrategies to overcome it like
this, therefore, she doesn'tstay in it, but some people stay
in it, and that's thedifference.
So sometimes you might be scaredto do something and initially
they're scared like, oh my God.
And two seconds later, like oneof the things I speak to,
crowds right and people think,oh, you're confident, you,
(13:46):
you've been doing this.
I'm like, no, sometimes I wantto pee, Like, like that little
thing, you just want to peeyourself, Like you're so scared.
Right, Keeping it real.
Les Brown always says somethingand I took from him years ago.
He said what's the worst canhappen Are you going to die?
So anytime I go to talk onstage, I'm like am I going to
die?
Most likely not.
(14:06):
So then I just go out and I doit.
So that is one of the tragediesthat I use to overcome certain
times, because people would notbelieve there's actors and movie
stars and singers that panicjust before they go on stage and
they're superstars.
So if that's happening toRihanna and all these superstars
, who are you?
Jess (14:27):
Way to level set there.
Yeah, I think that's probablyone of the biggest myths.
To your point is thatconfidence is just exuding all
the time from everybody.
But I think, to your point,everyone has some element that
they have to re-remindthemselves of, maybe some more
than others, but that issomething that you almost have
to consistently unleremindthemselves of, maybe some more
than others, but that that issomething that you almost have
to consistently unlearn.
(14:47):
Yeah, I love that.
So let's talk a little bitabout resilience, because I know
that's an area of focus thatyou have.
Claude (14:56):
Because, I ain't gonna lie right now.
Mss Francois (14:58):
sometimes I've been struggling with that to
keep going and bouncing back.
It's hard Right.
Claude (15:04):
How did you do it, though?
Mss Francois (15:05):
yeah, because you know, you, you let me tell you
something, since that that'swhat I feel I'm in right now,
because I ain't gonna pretend.
I mean I am cute and that'seasy part, but the other part is
harder.
But, like even at the beginning.
So last year, 2024 I had anamazing year.
I've been on stages, I I havelike a one moment show.
I'm everywhere, flyingeverywhere.
(15:26):
It's amazing, right.
But then sometimes beingmulti-talented is sometimes not
always the best, because I amgreat at most things.
So, coming into 2025, I wouldsay it's a mix, not really
imposter syndrome, but lackingof confidence in certain things
and deciding okay, I got thisfar, I've been doing this for so
(15:46):
many years, I need to get tothat next level.
I started having that feelingof wanting to give up.
How do I continue on and keepgoing with all these certain
feelings?
All right, and one of mybiggest thing for me is the
people that you surroundyourself with and people you
also start to outgrow, because Ithink the resilience and the
(16:08):
outgrowing, the people it's likea mixture of those things.
So in January, until now I'vebeen battling with should I
continue?
Where should I go?
What should be my next thing?
Am I doing all the things I'msupposed to be doing.
Am I too much all over theplace like I was in 2024?
So one thing I did was getquiet, pause on everything that
(16:31):
I was doing.
Like, when I say get quiet,like get quiet, because
sometimes we're doing too much,pause.
Get a book, not your tablet,not your computer, not all the
technology.
I mean it's even written thatif you like pen and paper, you
mean you remember more.
You're going to review it.
It's like so much better thantyping anything, right, but like
(16:52):
really jot down, like go oversome of the goals and things
that you had decide.
Like I even redid.
I call it a future board.
It's like a vision board.
I redid that, I looked on it, Irealized what I did do already
and redid that.
So I'm in my thoughts, I'mwriting the thing looking at my
vision board, because vision isalways in pictures.
Don't write it in words, people, those that didn't tell you
(17:14):
that because you don't, youdon't dream in words, you dream
in pictures.
So all those things I got quieton and just started redoing the
things and I started going back.
Also, I got to do all this Seeall the things that you have
prior, what it is that you couldreuse the people that you have
in your life.
But you have to decide exactlywhat your next step is right.
(17:36):
So for me, instead of doingshows the TV show, the next TV
show, the workshops I decidedlet me focus on one thing, and
in this moment it's speaking.
So decide exactly what you wantto do in that quiet space.
So that's one way you canrefocus on some things and
that's why I said I redid myfuture boards, view some things
(17:57):
and got quiet.
But one of the biggest thingsalso, which is second to me
right now, is the people yousurround yourself with, like I
mentioned, not who are yourfriends, because your friends, I
don't trust those people.
They sleep with your man Okay,they talk about you.
So I focus on confidence, andit's two different things.
(18:17):
You could have a hundredfriends.
That's wonderful.
Put them in certain categoriesthe friends I drink and get
drunk with.
The friend I hang out and partywith and have sex with random
people that's if you're intothat, people.
I'm not into that yet, but it'swhatever you choose to.
But your confidence is thepeople that you sit there with.
You cry you boohoo.
(18:38):
They don't tell you.
I told you that guy wasn't goodfor you.
I told you you shouldn't takethat job.
They don't do that.
They sit there and they listen.
They sit there and give you ashoulder to cry on.
They shut up and they justthere for you.
Cause sometimes, when you'regoing through these things of
wanting to give up and decidingif you should keep going forward
, you just need to hear yourselfcry, hear yourself talk for you
(19:03):
to find your own solution Right, and you need that confidence
that's going to encourage youand empower you, inspire you,
not tell you.
I told you so.
Jess (19:11):
So who are your people?
So it doesn't sound like it'sthey're still friends or
potentially could be friends.
Mss Francois (19:17):
It's just no you have lots of friends.
You could have all your friends, but you don't tell them who
you slept with, because theymight hold out against you.
Yeah, you.
Jess (19:24):
these are the people like it's kind of like us, like it's
like your work bestie, it'ssomebody who's going to hold you
accountable, but also let youvent, come to those conclusions
maybe on your own.
They know enough to give youthat pause, to your point, to
regurgitate what you're thinking.
And they can see, like you havea good enough rapport that you
(19:45):
can see that the wheels arespinning.
Mss Francois (19:47):
They have to love you and respect you.
Because a lot of times I thinkwe get in that whole girlfriend
circle and then we talk into 10people and again, no matter what
circle you're in, these two aregoing to say, yeah, miss
Francoise is like this, that'swhy we limit our time with those
friends and they're saying, fora confidant, if you're're lucky
(20:10):
, you have one or two or threein your lifetime, so is that
person you could really pour outyour heart to.
And when you become famous,they're not gonna go on tv and
talk about you because yourregular friends would do that.
Claude (20:21):
So I don't know if jess and claude is, confidants or
just friends?
Mss Francois (20:26):
definitely, oh, we are confident.
Oh god you're.
I love that, you see howquickly?
Claude (20:28):
no, we're confident, we're or just friends?
Mss Francois (20:29):
Definitely confidence.
Oh, we are confident.
Oh God, I love that you see howquickly.
No, we're confident, we're notjust friends, we're friends.
Claude (20:34):
There's no, no hesitation right there.
No, we are confident because.
But then there is also for meyou have, yeah, you have, the
friends and you have, you'reconfident or you're very good
friends, right, they all have adifferent role in it.
Mss Francois (20:50):
Yes, and I think a lot of times the problem is
people don't realize a lot ofyour friends have different
roles, yeah, and sometimespeople you see those reality
show.
Oh, we all are click and we allare group.
Yes, if we're going to hang outand eat, fine, but you don't
tell all your business, all yourhopes, your dreams, your vision
(21:10):
.
You don't tell that toeverybody.
And a lot of friends go aroundlike this is my friend.
I've had people say aren't wefriends?
Now, if you know my personality, I don't sugarcoat stuff.
No, we're not friends.
Just because I saw you two orthree times at the same place,
why you think we would befriends and I hurt people's
feelings.
But I'm not your friend.
But I think I have thatpersonality that people think
(21:33):
I'm their friend Because I'mjolly, I'm happy, I'm energetic.
So everyone is like oh, I know,ms Francois, that's my friend.
No, I ain't your friend.
Claude (21:42):
But that's also where, like for example for me, I make
a distinction between someone Iam friendly with and then I'm
friend, right, and my friendsare my friends, Like I trust
them, and then you have againyou know another thing, where
it's like your, your bestfriends, your work besties and
everything.
Mss Francois (22:02):
Right and all that's fine.
Yes, and we need all of them,because I have lots of people at
my job that I'm friends with,but they don't know all my
business.
Claude (22:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Like you need them all for different
elements and also I don'tremember who said but it's also,
you have a friend for sometimesyou have friends for a lifetime
, but you have a friend for aseason.
Mss Francois (22:22):
Yes, a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Like TD Jakes broke it down tome the best he said, you have
your confidants, yourconstituents and your comrades.
So the confidants is the onelike you, jess and Claude, then
your constituents they lookeverything like a confidant,
everything.
So you get it confusedsometimes, but a lot of times
(22:50):
they're with you to how far youcan take them.
So we could go, we could do somany things together, but as
soon as you cannot help them toa certain level they walk away.
But again, they're great tohave because they get you very
far in life and then you haveyour comrades Right, and then
you have your comrades, now youhave a common goal, one goal
Jess and Claude don't like MsFrancois.
We're going to get rid of herand as soon as that job is done,
you move on.
That's, comrades.
(23:10):
That's when you fight in war.
You go to war against somethingelse or you have a project to
do.
We align, get rid of a project.
Now we go on with our lives.
So we have lots of constituents, but one or two or three
confidants.
Jess (23:24):
So that's where I'd like pausing on, because I feel like
I have more confidence andyou're making it sound like you
think only two or three in yourwhole lifetime.
Mss Francois (23:33):
They say you can look it up.
They say one, two or three inyour lifetime.
Because I've had confidencethat I was like yes, that's my
confidence.
Ten plus years and for noreason the person stopped
talking to me.
Jess (23:47):
OK, so maybe that's the defining difference.
It's like to your point.
These are literally going to bethe people until you die For
the season, but they're morethan a season, it's just.
Mss Francois (23:54):
Right, because that's 10 years of friendship,
sleeping in the same room,staying up all night, everybody
knowing everything.
Claude (24:02):
Well, what I mean is a season.
No, I understand what you mean.
It's not a season like fall.
Jess (24:06):
I know I understand.
I'm just saying, if you get tothe 10-year mark, by that point
you probably do think they'reWell, yeah, they say seven years
and you're like.
Mss Francois (24:15):
And sometimes people use the years, as I've
been in a relationship with myfriend for 20 years, but are you
really in?
Jess (24:22):
a relationship with your friend for 20 years, you with
your friends for 20 years.
You're right.
That actually blows it up too,because there are definitely
some friendships that I havethat I mean I love them.
We've known each other for so,so many years.
Mss Francois (24:30):
Yeah, because people like using the number and
I've known someone for sixmonths.
Have she done more for me or wedone more?
I create win-win situationsthan someone I've known for 10,
15 years.
Jess (24:49):
Because person for 20 years.
That's my friend since gradeschool.
Yeah, but are we friends?
Friends, well, what do youthink about then, those friends
that you can like pick up?
So I have one that I literallyhave known since I was born and
we pick up the phone about onceor twice a year and it's like no
time has lost right, all right,but you see, we're still there
but that's in a certain category.
Mss Francois (25:03):
Then you have friends.
You could you look like jessa.
You look like you talk toClaude every day or every other
day.
Girl, look outside.
Girl, I bought flowers.
Right, I have my friend.
We call each other once a year.
Again, lots of friends.
No one is saying nothing'swrong with that, because Jess
(25:25):
has insisted she's like.
I don't have imposter syndrome.
I have a hundred confidants.
You, let me tell you something,jess.
Let me let you get super richand famous.
Right now, half of thoseconstituents and friends will
gladly write a book and throwyou under the bus for money.
And again, we only see thesethings when you reach to a
certain level in life.
You'll be surprised.
(25:45):
Right now, claude is likeparagraph two of the book.
Jess (25:52):
Then Jessica did this oh, I'm confident.
Okay, so you founded ThrivingGoddesses and that kind of has a
similar element to it whereyou're kind of bringing people
together.
How can our work besties createthat same kind of supportive
community that you're creatingin our workplace?
(26:13):
And also, what is it?
Mss Francois (26:15):
Okay, so mine focuses on women healing from
broken relationships and thoseexploring new relationships,
right, because a lot of times Ithink with women in that context
, we feel alone and we're likewe're the only one going through
it.
So the whole reason behind itwas everybody has their story,
(26:36):
but we can help each other inthe group, right?
Simple thing, like the stuffthat I post.
I have a webinar, like once amonth.
Again, it's continue toencourage people and encourage
people to comment on each other,the posts that I post, because,
again, you don't know whatsomeone is going through and
something you say, someone mightlook at it and be like, oh my
God, that's what I needed tohear today.
(26:56):
I get that a lot with comments.
I get that a lot with, like,some of the emails that I sent
out.
Like someone screenshotsomething and sent it to me like
you have no idea the differenceit's made in my day to day.
You don't know.
You know, and I think a lot oftimes everybody wants to go
things alone.
I dislike when someone say I didit all by myself.
It's impossible.
If you rob a bank, you had somekind of help.
(27:17):
I'm sorry, good or bad.
If you rob a bank.
You had some kind of help.
I'm sorry, good or bad, you hadsome kind of help.
So I think I'm just providing aspace for people to help each
other and I'm also assistingwhen I provide, you know, and it
is free, just Facebook Because,again, I remember there were
times when I wish I had someoneto just give me a hug or say
it's going to be okay.
And I think I'm just providingthat in a different way, cause
(27:39):
you never know who life you'retouching.
You have a podcast, you don't.
Jess (27:43):
Sometimes you think you know who you're impacting just
because they don't like orcomment, that don't mean you
didn't change someone's life,that's so true, yeah, and I
think the thing that drew me tothat and why I brought it up to
the work bestie influence is thefact that we get that a lot
with some of the quotes that youdo, where people will comment
and be like this just broughtright into my day, my work
bestie just left, I'm all alone.
(28:04):
It's good to have you as like abackup.
So I do.
I feel like the element thatyou're providing to that is
definitely something that thework bestie community can also
contribute to as well.
Maybe different spin right alittle bit more on how do you
have that support and love inyour work environment?
But there's definitelysomething to that for sure,
cause it builds.
(28:25):
It builds the instant supportcommunity.
Mss Francois (28:28):
Yeah, and we all need support, and I think that's
what people keep forgetting.
We can't do everything byourselves.
We can start some things, butyou need a team, you need a
support system along the way.
Claude (28:40):
Social Yep, you need that support.
Jess (28:43):
Yeah.
So you had a one-woman showcalled Frustrated right.
Wasn't it a hit.
You even won a Toastmasters.
I hear how does laughter inyour life?
Mss Francois (28:58):
really change the way you show up.
Girl, if it was not forlaughter I think that's no
number one thing I would not behere right now.
And that's one of the thingsfor me to be able to even make
other people laugh.
I only realized that was mygift a few years ago because of
Toastmasters.
Like Toastmasters allowed methe space to you know, have
(29:18):
those speeches and hopefully, ifyou all don't know what
Toastmasters is, toastmasterorgit will change your life because
the people you meet there andyou get to develop.
It's just an amazingenvironment to be around.
But even me looking up if youjust look up laughter it's a
resilience, build connection.
It is a painkiller.
(29:38):
It does so many things.
I tell people a lot of timesyou wouldn't even need
healthcare if you would justlaugh each day.
Also, it plays a huge elementEven with my TV show, the
speeches that I do a lot oftimes if you turn on a program
and you just see everyone goingHi, my name is Ms Francois and
today, remember, we have so manydifferent channels to choose
from.
(29:58):
People just click through thechannel.
But if you provide someone,there's the energy alone.
Like the energy I'm providinghere, it will let someone stay
on a little few seconds longerand give you you know, let's see
what Miss Francois is talkingabout.
But laughter is, yeah, laughteris definitely healing and even
with my show, the one woman thatfrustrated.
(30:19):
It sounds like an interestingtitle, but it's basically the
journey of my relationships andeven though I go through the
journey, even though some of itis sad and heartbreaking, I add
the humor and in the end of itthere is a lesson.
Jess (30:33):
So you use the lesson or the laughter to kind of help
keep people on.
Mss Francois (30:38):
Yeah, because you're going to remember, you
remember so much more of itbecause you attach the laughter
Remember when she said thisthat's crazy, but you're going
to get the lesson out of it,Because the whole point of even
though I went through all theserelationships and I got hurt and
cheated on and all, and somepeople, some men, made me feel
less than all these things.
At the end, what I failed torealize is that I needed to love
(31:00):
myself more.
Jess (31:03):
I love that.
Claude (31:03):
I feel like everyone can kind of benefit from that and I
think laughing is so importantand as we get older we kind of
lose a little bit.
Sometimes, you know it's whenyou're younger you have those
crazy laugh where your stomachis hurting.
Mss Francois (31:19):
Yeah, you know, and I feel as you get older it's
kind of yeah, because thinkabout it when you're young, when
, when you're a kid, when you'rea teenager, I mean, the
problems you have taught you howto is not real problems, but
you're more fun, you're morefree.
When you get older, you havemarriage and you have kids.
You have bills to pay.
Yeah, you ain't thinking.
Let me stop and laugh.
(31:40):
You're like, let me calculate,like it's so much more on your
plate which is understandable.
But this is why you have togive yourself and make yourself
time.
People like to say it's only 24hours in a day.
Yes, but it's what you do withthose 24 hours Time management.
How much is for you, how muchis for other people?
But think about it.
People complain about the timewe have, but then you realize
(32:04):
how much time we've been wasting.
We're watching TV, we'reNetflixing and chilling for
hours when you could be usingthat time more constructively.
Jess (32:08):
Yeah, I laugh because there's so many people that will
sit there and say I don't havetime to watch a movie but then
binge watch like 10 episodes.
Mss Francois (32:14):
Exactly, exactly so.
It's amazing to me we makeexcuses for what we want to make
excuses for.
We make time for what we wantto make time for.
Jess (32:24):
Right.
So what's your advice forpeople that feel like they are
surrounded by others that dimtheir light, whether in a
professional or personal?
Mss Francois (32:33):
environment.
You're letting that person dimyour light.
You're choosing to be aroundthat person.
Let me tell you something whenyou decide to do the personal
development work on yourself,find yourself in conferences,
joining groups like ToastmasterI belong to a few different
groups Elevate and Empower, likedifferent groups, I join.
(32:53):
Right, believe me, those peoplethat were supposedly dimming
their light, or those negativeNancy's, whatever you want to
call them you naturally outgrowthem, but you're the one
choosing to stay around them,regardless of their friend or
your coworkers.
After a while, when people getyour certain energy and they see
when you continue to grow, yougrow.
They naturally fall off.
(33:14):
Sometimes you're the one thatwants to continue being around
those people.
That's your fault, that's nottheir fault.
They, they, they, they who theywant to be, yeah, yeah,
continue, right, they continuebeing negative.
They love coming to work andbeing negative 24 hours a day.
I have some people at my jobthat they have different people.
They're negative.
Guess what that person get agood morning, morning, how
(33:36):
you're doing, good evening, goodnight, whatever the case might
be, and I move on.
I don't have this longconversation with that person
and after a while, theynaturally will not gravitate
towards you because you're notfeeding into their negativity.
People feed into people.
Girl, you see that that dressdon't look nice on that person
and then you go.
Well, I guess not.
It doesn't look nice becausethat color made.
(33:57):
Why.
Why are you choosing that?
No, that's so true I am superintelligent.
I don't know why I don't havelike two, three husbands already
but that's why you'reintelligent.
Claude (34:10):
What's what's in that cup?
I know.
No, it's boring, watered down.
Jess (34:16):
I wish it was, but it's not.
So if someone's feeling stuck,I'm going to ask Ja, but you can
relate it to relationships too.
What's that one thing that theycould start today to help
reclaim their confidence?
Mss Francois (34:30):
First of all, I would say focus on what your
gifts are, because I don't knowwhat job the person is in, right
, so say, for instance, my gift.
I would say one is laughter andI am good at organizing.
Focus on your gift and whateverjob you in Maybe.
For instance, I work in a bank,right, we have community stuff.
That goes on.
And again, I found these thingslater on about myself because I
(34:52):
continue to grow and learnabout myself and I realize, ok,
I'm good at planning stuff,right, I work in a bank, people
wanting people here bank.
They hear money, right, andthey hear, right, they hear
customers and people.
But I'm good at planning.
I'm good at making people laugh, so I focus on my gift.
So when I have customers, Imake them laugh.
(35:12):
That brings me joy.
I'm using my gift.
I like to organize.
I look with my surroundings ofmy job.
I like to organize.
I look with my surroundings ofmy job.
What do they need?
Help planning?
We have financial literacy.
I can offer my assistancebecause I'm using my gift.
When you use your gift you tendto be happier.
I am good at speaking.
I find, oh, they have certainlittle events that my job might
(35:33):
have.
I ask to offer my assistance inthose things.
So I'm still at my job, but I'mdoing things that I love
because I'm using my gift.
So, while you're in your joband if that's what you can do,
it's still a choice to be there,people.
But if that's what you chooseto do in this moment, find out
what your gift is, offer yourgift in different aspects of
your job and you will be happier.
(35:53):
It could be for now, but youwill tend to be happier because
I know at some point I did notlike my job If you're watching
that, you all know but at thesame time now I honestly could
say I love my job.
Some people hate when I say thatbecause most people hate their
job.
But I'm like, if you hate yourjob, that's fine, then you
(36:14):
should be looking for somethingelse.
But most people stay in theirjob and complain every day or
look for nothing else.
It's still a choice.
I else, it's still a choice.
I choose to still be in my jobbecause I love my customers, I
love using my gifts andelevating myself, and where I
work in this present moment, inmy job.
So I get to say I love my job.
So still a choice, people yeah.
Claude (36:30):
So a question that goes with the, the what is it symptom
, the imposter, imposter symptom.
Right, how do you know, howdoes someone realize what they
are good at?
Because sometimes they will notknow.
So how do you come so it's easy.
Mss Francois (36:49):
Your gift is something you do without having
to think about it, withouthaving to use any effort and
even if you fight to figure thatout right, because people will
tell you.
They tell you every day oh myGod, jess, you're amazing at
organization, jess.
You're great at decoration, butyou take it for granted.
Oh, everyone does that.
(37:10):
You're great at planning.
Oh my God, you're so hilarious.
You're great at cooking.
I love when you make thosedesserts, but you're like oh, I
do that all the time.
Yeah, you don't look likeyou're cooking.
Jess (37:21):
You're doing a lot until cooking.
Mss Francois (37:25):
But it's so many different ways.
But number one is really lookat what are things you do easily
.
Claude (37:30):
And listen to the people that will tell you what you're
at.
Go back to your confidants.
Jess (37:35):
If they're truly your confidants, they can tell you
Confidants.
If they're truly yourconfidants, they can tell you.
You can say it out loud to themand then, like you'd be like
giggling, like oh wait, no, I'mnot good at it.
Mss Francois (37:43):
Yeah.
So it's different things.
People just don't realize it.
And if confidence and strangerswill tell you what your gift is
, but you, but you don't thinkit's that that important, cause
you.
It's so easy and it comes toyou all the time.
A lot of times when I planevents at my job, I'm like
anybody could do that Simplething as taking a photo.
Have you ever asked someone totake a photo like you had an
(38:03):
event and when you get the photoback, they took all the ceiling
and the floor.
Then you could give someoneelse and they say pose and they
go left.
They get it perfectly Right.
That's that person gift withoutthem even knowing it, and
someone might take that forgranted.
You pay photographers hundredsof dollars to take photography.
(38:27):
That's a gift.
Yeah, that's true, I know.
I told you I'm super smart.
Oh my God, you know what it isto be this cute and this
intelligent.
I would not know it's a gift.
Claude (38:39):
I know See again.
San Francisco ImposterSyndrome's a gift, I know see
again so that's one of the goodthings.
Mss Francois (38:48):
That's why Jess is your friend, because Jess gets
to tell you you're great, you'reamazing, and she gets to remind
you sometimes when you forgetwe do.
Jess (38:55):
We literally had a text exchange a couple days ago where
I was like wait, you don't know, you're good at this.
How have you never figured thatout?
Mss Francois (39:03):
Yeah, and sometimes you have to shake up.
Sometimes you need a littleshake because sometimes people,
they just don't see it.
Jess (39:09):
I already forgot what it was.
You're that good at it.
Claude (39:12):
It was an organization Good organizer Messy, but I'm a
good organizer actually, BecauseI'm messy.
Mss Francois (39:20):
It's so funny.
Claude is like looking up atthe sky, like yeah, I think I
remember when Somehow it'll cometo me.
Jess (39:25):
Oh, how about me?
Ms Francois, this is your wordsof wisdom are like so
encouraging.
I feel like I could laugh withyou all day long.
And for those that aren'twatching on YouTube, please do
watch on YouTube, but you've gotto see the background of Ms
Francois, like it's showing hershow, which I think I only saw a
little bit Now.
I'm like sucked in.
(39:46):
I want to go watch it.
This is gonna be my new show towatch.
But thank you so much, I didwant to ask you one last
question.
What's that?
One simple thing our couldchange right this second, to
start owning their confidence.
Mss Francois (39:59):
I think the one thing they can do to change that
is it could just be getting upin the morning.
Zig Ziglar said this.
I read a lot, okay, he saidjump out of your bed and it's
going to sound so dumb when youdo it and just go.
I love my life and I loveeverything about me Like
(40:20):
something dumb.
And he says it's going to feelso dumb the first time, the
second time you do it, butyou're going to start laughing
at yourself just for doing it.
And in doing that, he says,you'll be amazing on all these
endorphins and things just comesup in you and you'll start
laughing and start doingwhatever you're supposed to be
doing Something simple.
(40:40):
I think that's people's problem.
They always want this big,grand fix, grand course or
something as just little thingsthat we do each day.
So I would encourage everyonejust do something small to start
you on and you'll be amazed atwhat these tiny habits could
start doing.
Jess (40:57):
I can't wait to enact that .
To jump on the screen.
You can just see it.
Claude (41:03):
You're just seeing it, it's like, okay, she's gone,
let's start the day.
She's gone, for sure.
Now I love that.
Jess (41:14):
I'm really going to love it.
I'm going to start doing that.
This is fantastic.
I feel like to all our workbesties out there, let's try
that.
I know I definitely will.
Please take a picture of you ora video of you, I don't think
we want people taking videos ofthemselves.
Mss Francois (41:36):
You never know, because even when you do it, you
might laugh at your own self.
Jess (41:39):
When you laugh, you're beautiful.
I won't be doing that, but ifeveryone else in the WorkFesty
world wants to hear that,regardless, let's put it into
action.
Whether it's showing upconfidently or hyping up your
WorkFesty, or jumping out of bedand having someone video it,
let's just do something today.
Claude (41:52):
Yeah, and thank you again so much for your energy
and really helping everybodywith self-confidence.
No problem, please.
Where can the our viewer learnabout you, your handles?
Mss Francois (42:09):
well, I make it easy for everyone.
Once you all see my name it'smiss francois you can go on my
website on every social mediaand I do mean everyone, because
I'm there for everyone.
You can definitely follow me,like me, subscribe and support
me in any which way.
Claude (42:25):
Perfect.
Thank you and Work Bestie.
If you loved this episode,share it with someone who needs
this message and don't forget tolike, rate and subscribe and
we'll see you next time.
Thank you so much again, MissFrancois.
You're very welcome andsubscribe.
Awesome, and, as always, we'llsee you next time.
Thank you so much again, MsFrancois.
Mss Francois (42:43):
You're very welcome, my dear.
Jess (42:44):
Remember whether you're swapping snacks in the break
room, rescuing each other fromendless meetings or just sending
that perfectly timed meme.
Having a work bestie is likehaving your own personal hype
squad.
Claude (42:57):
So keep lifting each other, laughing through the
chaos and, of course, thriving.
Until next time, stay positive,stay productive and don't
forget to keep supporting eachother.
Work besties.
Hello work besties, welcome back.
We have a very exciting episodetoday.
Let's talk about when you havethose work slumps.
I'm sure you've had them.
I know I've had them.
Well, maybe it's that littlevoice inside your head that
keeps telling you you're justnot good enough.
Well, we're here today to tellyou that we have an exciting
guest who's going to talk to usabout self-love, self-resilience
(00:23):
and even some of us who mightdeal with imposter syndrome
Don't know who that is in thisroom.
So we're joined by the one andonly Ms Francois.
She's a speaker, an entertainer, an author and just an
extraordinaire.
She talks about how to get yourgroove back and she's going to
really bring this to light andalso probably make us laugh a
(00:46):
lot, and if you ever struggledwith imposter syndrome or just
need a boost of self-love, thisepisode is for you.
Claude (00:53):
Hi, I'm Claude and I'm Jess.
We are corporate employees byday, entrepreneurs by night and
work besties for life.
Jess (01:02):
Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up,
laugh through the chaos andthrive together in every
industry.
Work Besties.
Hey, ms Frances, it's so greatto meet you.
Mss Francois (01:16):
Nice to meet you.
I know I get that a lot fromeveryone, but thank you.
Jess (01:21):
Why don't you tell us a little bit about?
Mss Francois (01:23):
yourself.
Okay.
So, as you guys told everyone,my name is Ms Francois.
No, I didn't spell the Ms wrong.
It's M-S-S for multi-talentedand super sexy, so let's just
get that right.
So, with that said, I'm anauthor, speaker and best-selling
Amazon author.
That recently happened, so I'msuper excited, okay.
Okay, so I am mostly known forI host a tv show called the Miss
(01:46):
Francois show, which I havecandid conversation, but the
main thing about the show is Iuse humor to help others with
their dysfunctionalrelationships.
In addition, I'm the founder ofStriving Goddesses, which is a
community of women that aresingle, helping them heal from
breakups or even consider thosethat are exploring new avenues,
(02:08):
new relationships, or makingsure, before they enter in those
new relationships, that theyare at their best and, when they
enter into the next chapter oftheir life, that they're in
confidence, the utmostconfidence.
Sign us up.
Jess (02:21):
Even though we're married, I still need the confidence.
Ms Fritzl, your energy isunmatched.
I feel like I'm getting justlike extra zelts of power just
by talking with you, so Ithought you could give us a
little bit about your journeyand how you got there.
I know, based on your accent,that you're from somewhere the
greatest island on earth.
Mss Francois (02:43):
So I am from Trinidad and Tobago, just so you
know.
It's also one of the sexiestaccents in the world and, yes,
you can Google that people, soyou're welcome.
Claude (02:52):
I thought you were French.
Mss Francois (02:55):
I have a French last name, so I can have a sexy
last name.
I'm sorry.
Jess (03:00):
You're going to battle for who's the sexiest.
It's definitely not me.
Mss Francois (03:05):
So I came from Trinidad in my late teens and
what the person you see todaydefinitely was not the child
that came here.
Because when you come from aforeign country and maybe,
claude, you might have some ofthis, but I had one of those.
Really I call it the immigrantstory, because most immigrant
story is not positive.
So when I came here, I stayedwith family and a lot of times
(03:27):
when you're coming from aforeign country, you're staying
with your family First.
They talk about all theseamazing things, and when you
come to America, clothes is free, everything is free, money is
everywhere Right, and a lot oftimes, according to who you stay
with, they mistreat you.
So I had one of thosesituations that, by the end of
(03:51):
it all, I only stayed there forabout a year and I came home one
day and they put all mybelongings which was not that
much because I was only therefor a year in a black garbage
bag.
So think about being 17.
You're still clueless aboutthis whole country, because
where I came from, everyone youwould call your auntie and your
uncle was a big family.
I have eight brothers andsisters.
To come to a country whereeveryone is Russian and I'm
talking from my experience.
It was not a friendly place tolive.
Everyone was Russian, no one ishelping you, everyone is for
(04:12):
themselves.
So I didn't have that familyoriented thing that I was
accustomed to.
So here I am on the streetswith a black garbage bag, have
no idea where to go, no idea whoto talk to, what's my next step
.
So I say all that to say I'mglad I'm one of those people.
Because of my upbringing I wasalways polite and respectful to
strangers, because a strangerwho I used to tell good morning
(04:35):
every day and good evening everyevening was a person who ended
up finding me a place to stayfor that night and was
responsible for making mebecause I lived in New Jersey
for a year responsible forhelping me move to New York.
So I always say be nice toeverybody.
You know it's all about formingrelationships because you never
know your situation.
You don't, you really don't.
Jess (04:59):
That's a very moving story and I'm glad it worked, you
telling me it worked outpositive.
I was like where?
Mss Francois (05:03):
are you going telling me it worked out
positive.
I was like, where are you going?
No, but those are the thingsthat actually help.
I could either slow you down orbuild you up, and I'm glad that
I was able to be built upbecause of some of those stories
is the reason I do some of thethings that I do today.
Jess (05:16):
I was gonna yeah, I was gonna ask you.
I was gonna ask you about thatbecause it seems like you had
somebody to help you in the verybeginning.
So is that what spun you tothen turn around and reach out
to other people and help them?
Mss Francois (05:30):
No, definitely Cause.
Um, steve jobs, I would sayconnected.
That's going backwards.
And I do that all the timebecause if it wasn't for all
those dots, when I look back,even the show that I basically
do is really everything isrelationships.
But I always tell people I'mnot a relationship coach, I'm
just the person that's going tohelp you be your best self
before you enter into that nextrelationship or before you go
(05:51):
into whatever new journey youmight have.
But because of all my badrelationships attracting all the
people and I takeresponsibility I think that's
something a lot of us don't do.
We like to blame the otherperson.
Yes, they are at some fault atsome shape or form, but at the
(06:11):
same time, what responsibilityam I taking for myself in those
relationships?
What kind of person was I being?
What kind of energy was Igiving off?
How did I feel about myself?
And that's the reason Iattracted certain people.
Claude (06:19):
But because of these things again, I'm able to have a
TV show, hopefully, and I knowfor a fact helping other people
(06:49):
see the different dynamics ofrelationships, having coaches
and other people come on yourguests or your audience to break
that very vicious circle.
Mss Francois (06:53):
So it's.
It's so many different things.
It's just the simple, smallthings.
It's definitely just simplething as looking in the mirror.
A lot of times when you look ina mirror you hate yourself.
Or sometimes you get up in themorning every.
If you think about it when youget up in the morning, if you
think about it when you get upin the morning while you're
brushing, you're teeth bathingyour mind, all these thoughts
come in.
And most of the time, why is italways negative thoughts?
It's always I'm way too much,my hair look this way, I need to
(07:17):
exercise.
It's just a bunch of negativethings.
So one of the things I do tellpeople start small.
I don't know if you know DamienAmen.
He's a psychologist, a braindoctor.
He scanned like thousands andthousands of brains, right, and
he said simple things of askingyourself a question.
When a negative thoughts cometo mind, you ask yourself five
questions.
The first thing you askyourself is that true?
(07:40):
So if it says, am I never goingto get married?
You ask yourself is that true?
And he said a lot of the timeit breaks the cycle of your
negative thought.
But even if it didn't, he saidthe second question would be
that absolute, because sometimespeople might be like, yeah,
according to what's going on inmy life, maybe I would never get
married.
But the second question is isit absolutely a hundred percent
(08:02):
true?
And a lot of times it's goingto crack that whole thought and
be like, well, not really.
And then you start to think of,maybe if I did this more, if I
do that more, and he said how doyou?
The third thing is how do youfeel when you have these that
particular negative thoughts?
And he would go into well, Idon't feel good because I don't
feel like I'm pretty enough or Idon't feel men are attracted to
me.
So we go into the fourthquestion is how would you feel
(08:25):
if you could not have thatthought right?
And the fourth and I'm going togo straight into the fifth
question is basically turn thethought around, cause if I'm
saying I would never get married, first you're going to break it
down.
Why I say that?
What are all the things I cando to put myself out there?
Maybe I w I did go on dates,maybe it's just so many things
you can turn around.
(08:46):
So it's really asking yourselfthe right questions to break
that thought and starting totalk to yourself in a positive
way.
And even if you all think fivequestions is a lot, believe me,
by the first or second questionyou're like please.
You know this nonsense.
You're talking.
Claude (09:01):
I'm trying to be nice.
Mss Francois (09:02):
The politically correct I'm not good at, so I
just get straight to the point.
Claude (09:05):
Yeah, my first question would be why do you want to get
married?
That's a whole other podcast.
Jess (09:11):
You have to talk to your husband.
I think, though, let's bring itback to the element of imposter
syndrome, because, in essence,that's what you're doing right
You're doubting yourself.
So similar type of thingshappen in work, where, like, you
get potentially asked to applyfor a position and you're like
nope, I'm not going to do itbecause I don't know how to do
(09:31):
everything.
I think those five questionsare similar, that you could push
on yourself, too, to kind ofovercome some of those things.
Mss Francois (09:39):
Oh, because I do.
I do a lot of personaldevelopment.
I attend a lot of classes.
One of the number one thing hashelped me directly with
imposter syndrome is I made upthis thing called the powerless
right.
What you do in the powerless.
You write down, you look in yourpast and all the things you
have accomplished.
So maybe you bought a house,you have a kid, you got married,
whatever is amazing to you,Business, professional life, you
(10:04):
had a degree, whatever it mightbe right.
You write down all these thingsand anytime you start to feel a
certain way, you remindyourself of all the things you
have accomplished, Because atsome point in time, when you was
in school doing your bachelor'sdegree, you was like, oh my God
, I'm never going to think I'mnot making the right marks, I'm
going to fail.
And now you have a degree.
So you look back.
We all have these things thatcome up for us.
(10:26):
But if you look back up all thethings you have accomplished,
big or small, it gives you thatenergy and push to be like, if I
did this, at this time I can dowhatever the new thing that
comes in your life that needs topush you forward.
So that's one of the things youdo and one of the things I added
to the power list, in additionis in that moment, what did you
(10:47):
need to overcome?
So, if it's in the past, it wasyour bachelor's degree and you
were struggling.
Who did you need to be in thattime?
So, maybe you needed to beresilient, Maybe you needed to
be powerful, you needed to beconsistent.
So what did you have to be inthat moment that you were able
to accomplish your bachelor'sdegree?
And maybe you could use some ofthat in the present moment for
(11:09):
whatever goal or vision you havefor yourself in this moment
Sounds like what you'resuggesting is to envision it.
Jess (11:15):
So come up with whatever those characteristics or
elements you want to lean yourstrengths in on and envision
that and that will help you getthrough, right.
Mss Francois (11:23):
But I would say write it down, because when you,
when you go into certain things, you hold that list Like okay,
I did this this and this this.
And sometimes the feeling thatyou had when you cause we forget
about all the things we haveaccomplished, you get yeah, yeah
, yeah, and then two years pass,you forget about it Cause I
have used it so much.
When I look back Becausesometimes, when you're going
through something right now,it's frustrating, it's hard you
(11:46):
think of oh, I'll never do it,but you accomplish so much and
that excitement of I did a TEDxtalk, I did my degree, I have my
kid, I sent my kid off tocollege, I bought a house.
You remember those times and,believe me, whatever you're
working on now, it's going togive you that extra boost to go
over that challenge.
Claude (12:07):
I think that if you have imposter syndrome, you had it
all throughout your life.
And I love the fact that yousay go back and say, ok, I had
an imposter syndrome during my,let's say, my bachelor degree,
but I did it syndrome during my,let's say, my bachelor degree,
(12:28):
but I did it.
So and I love this thought ofgoing back and I did have that
feeling at the time but I wasable to overcome.
Mss Francois (12:33):
And it's celebrating yourself,
celebrating your small wins,your big wins.
So in this moment, you couldbelieve that I am going to win
on whatever I'm doing right nowand again, like you said,
imposter syndrome is all throughyour life.
Some of you have overcomesomething and like after I did
this, I could do anything.
And then something else comesup.
Jess (12:51):
Yeah, you got to consistently.
It's funny, though I don't feellike I've had imposter syndrome
my whole life, but there arecertain things that I know
that's so selfish of me.
Mss Francois (13:00):
Why I love it.
Jess (13:05):
There are.
There are certain things thatdo trigger it, though right, and
it's certain specific ways I ammanaged.
Claude (13:08):
I will say but you don't have one because you always
tell me I usually don't.
But you always say fake ituntil you make it.
Yes, I, I love it.
Meanwhile you don't have it.
Jess (13:17):
Meanwhile I have the major one but I do in certain
instances, and I think it'sagain, it's because, like, and
maybe that's what is ingrained.
Mss Francois (13:25):
So in Jess's case, maybe she does have it, but
since she has tools andstrategies to overcome it like
this, therefore, she doesn'tstay in it, but some people stay
in it, and that's thedifference.
So sometimes you might be scaredto do something and initially
they're scared like, oh my God.
And two seconds later, like oneof the things I speak to,
crowds right and people think,oh, you're confident, you,
(13:46):
you've been doing this.
I'm like, no, sometimes I wantto pee, Like, like that little
thing, you just want to peeyourself, Like you're so scared.
Right, Keeping it real.
Les Brown always says somethingand I took from him years ago.
He said what's the worst canhappen Are you going to die?
So anytime I go to talk onstage, I'm like am I going to
die?
Most likely not.
(14:06):
So then I just go out and I doit.
So that is one of the tragediesthat I use to overcome certain
times, because people would notbelieve there's actors and movie
stars and singers that panicjust before they go on stage and
they're superstars.
So if that's happening toRihanna and all these superstars
, who are you?
Jess (14:27):
Way to level set there.
Yeah, I think that's probablyone of the biggest myths.
To your point is thatconfidence is just exuding all
the time from everybody.
But I think, to your point,everyone has some element that
they have to re-remindthemselves of, maybe some more
than others, but that issomething that you almost have
to consistently unleremindthemselves of, maybe some more
than others, but that that issomething that you almost have
to consistently unlearn.
(14:47):
Yeah, I love that.
So let's talk a little bitabout resilience, because I know
that's an area of focus thatyou have.
Claude (14:56):
Because, I ain't gonna lie right now.
Mss Francois (14:58):
sometimes I've been struggling with that to
keep going and bouncing back.
It's hard Right.
Claude (15:04):
How did you do it, though?
Mss Francois (15:05):
yeah, because you know, you, you let me tell you
something, since that that'swhat I feel I'm in right now,
because I ain't gonna pretend.
I mean I am cute and that'seasy part, but the other part is
harder.
But, like even at the beginning.
So last year, 2024 I had anamazing year.
I've been on stages, I I havelike a one moment show.
I'm everywhere, flyingeverywhere.
(15:26):
It's amazing, right.
But then sometimes beingmulti-talented is sometimes not
always the best, because I amgreat at most things.
So, coming into 2025, I wouldsay it's a mix, not really
imposter syndrome, but lackingof confidence in certain things
and deciding okay, I got thisfar, I've been doing this for so
(15:46):
many years, I need to get tothat next level.
I started having that feelingof wanting to give up.
How do I continue on and keepgoing with all these certain
feelings?
All right, and one of mybiggest thing for me is the
people that you surroundyourself with and people you
also start to outgrow, because Ithink the resilience and the
(16:08):
outgrowing, the people it's likea mixture of those things.
So in January, until now I'vebeen battling with should I
continue?
Where should I go?
What should be my next thing?
Am I doing all the things I'msupposed to be doing.
Am I too much all over theplace like I was in 2024?
So one thing I did was getquiet, pause on everything that
(16:31):
I was doing.
Like, when I say get quiet,like get quiet, because
sometimes we're doing too much,pause.
Get a book, not your tablet,not your computer, not all the
technology.
I mean it's even written thatif you like pen and paper, you
mean you remember more.
You're going to review it.
It's like so much better thantyping anything, right, but like
(16:52):
really jot down, like go oversome of the goals and things
that you had decide.
Like I even redid.
I call it a future board.
It's like a vision board.
I redid that, I looked on it, Irealized what I did do already
and redid that.
So I'm in my thoughts, I'mwriting the thing looking at my
vision board, because vision isalways in pictures.
Don't write it in words, people, those that didn't tell you
(17:14):
that because you don't, youdon't dream in words, you dream
in pictures.
So all those things I got quieton and just started redoing the
things and I started going back.
Also, I got to do all this Seeall the things that you have
prior, what it is that you couldreuse the people that you have
in your life.
But you have to decide exactlywhat your next step is right.
(17:36):
So for me, instead of doingshows the TV show, the next TV
show, the workshops I decidedlet me focus on one thing, and
in this moment it's speaking.
So decide exactly what you wantto do in that quiet space.
So that's one way you canrefocus on some things and
that's why I said I redid myfuture boards, view some things
(17:57):
and got quiet.
But one of the biggest thingsalso, which is second to me
right now, is the people yousurround yourself with, like I
mentioned, not who are yourfriends, because your friends, I
don't trust those people.
They sleep with your man Okay,they talk about you.
So I focus on confidence, andit's two different things.
(18:17):
You could have a hundredfriends.
That's wonderful.
Put them in certain categoriesthe friends I drink and get
drunk with.
The friend I hang out and partywith and have sex with random
people that's if you're intothat, people.
I'm not into that yet, but it'swhatever you choose to.
But your confidence is thepeople that you sit there with.
You cry you boohoo.
(18:38):
They don't tell you.
I told you that guy wasn't goodfor you.
I told you you shouldn't takethat job.
They don't do that.
They sit there and they listen.
They sit there and give you ashoulder to cry on.
They shut up and they justthere for you.
Cause sometimes, when you'regoing through these things of
wanting to give up and decidingif you should keep going forward
, you just need to hear yourselfcry, hear yourself talk for you
(19:03):
to find your own solution Right, and you need that confidence
that's going to encourage youand empower you, inspire you,
not tell you.
I told you so.
Jess (19:11):
So who are your people?
So it doesn't sound like it'sthey're still friends or
potentially could be friends.
Mss Francois (19:17):
It's just no you have lots of friends.
You could have all your friends, but you don't tell them who
you slept with, because theymight hold out against you.
Yeah, you.
Jess (19:24):
these are the people like it's kind of like us, like it's
like your work bestie, it'ssomebody who's going to hold you
accountable, but also let youvent, come to those conclusions
maybe on your own.
They know enough to give youthat pause, to your point, to
regurgitate what you're thinking.
And they can see, like you havea good enough rapport that you
(19:45):
can see that the wheels arespinning.
Mss Francois (19:47):
They have to love you and respect you.
Because a lot of times I thinkwe get in that whole girlfriend
circle and then we talk into 10people and again, no matter what
circle you're in, these two aregoing to say, yeah, miss
Francoise is like this, that'swhy we limit our time with those
friends and they're saying, fora confidant, if you're're lucky
(20:10):
, you have one or two or threein your lifetime, so is that
person you could really pour outyour heart to.
And when you become famous,they're not gonna go on tv and
talk about you because yourregular friends would do that.
Claude (20:21):
So I don't know if jess and claude is, confidants or
just friends?
Mss Francois (20:26):
definitely, oh, we are confident.
Oh god you're.
I love that, you see howquickly?
Claude (20:28):
no, we're confident, we're or just friends?
Mss Francois (20:29):
Definitely confidence.
Oh, we are confident.
Oh God, I love that you see howquickly.
No, we're confident, we're notjust friends, we're friends.
Claude (20:34):
There's no, no hesitation right there.
No, we are confident because.
But then there is also for meyou have, yeah, you have, the
friends and you have, you'reconfident or you're very good
friends, right, they all have adifferent role in it.
Mss Francois (20:50):
Yes, and I think a lot of times the problem is
people don't realize a lot ofyour friends have different
roles, yeah, and sometimespeople you see those reality
show.
Oh, we all are click and we allare group.
Yes, if we're going to hang outand eat, fine, but you don't
tell all your business, all yourhopes, your dreams, your vision
(21:10):
.
You don't tell that toeverybody.
And a lot of friends go aroundlike this is my friend.
I've had people say aren't wefriends?
Now, if you know my personality, I don't sugarcoat stuff.
No, we're not friends.
Just because I saw you two orthree times at the same place,
why you think we would befriends and I hurt people's
feelings.
But I'm not your friend.
But I think I have thatpersonality that people think
(21:33):
I'm their friend Because I'mjolly, I'm happy, I'm energetic.
So everyone is like oh, I know,ms Francois, that's my friend.
No, I ain't your friend.
Claude (21:42):
But that's also where, like for example for me, I make
a distinction between someone Iam friendly with and then I'm
friend, right, and my friendsare my friends, Like I trust
them, and then you have againyou know another thing, where
it's like your, your bestfriends, your work besties and
everything.
Mss Francois (22:02):
Right and all that's fine.
Yes, and we need all of them,because I have lots of people at
my job that I'm friends with,but they don't know all my
business.
Claude (22:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Like you need them all for different
elements and also I don'tremember who said but it's also,
you have a friend for sometimesyou have friends for a lifetime
, but you have a friend for aseason.
Mss Francois (22:22):
Yes, a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Like TD Jakes broke it down tome the best he said, you have
your confidants, yourconstituents and your comrades.
So the confidants is the onelike you, jess and Claude, then
your constituents they lookeverything like a confidant,
everything.
So you get it confusedsometimes, but a lot of times
(22:50):
they're with you to how far youcan take them.
So we could go, we could do somany things together, but as
soon as you cannot help them toa certain level they walk away.
But again, they're great tohave because they get you very
far in life and then you haveyour comrades Right, and then
you have your comrades, now youhave a common goal, one goal
Jess and Claude don't like MsFrancois.
We're going to get rid of herand as soon as that job is done,
you move on.
That's, comrades.
(23:10):
That's when you fight in war.
You go to war against somethingelse or you have a project to
do.
We align, get rid of a project.
Now we go on with our lives.
So we have lots of constituents, but one or two or three
confidants.
Jess (23:24):
So that's where I'd like pausing on, because I feel like
I have more confidence andyou're making it sound like you
think only two or three in yourwhole lifetime.
Mss Francois (23:33):
They say you can look it up.
They say one, two or three inyour lifetime.
Because I've had confidencethat I was like yes, that's my
confidence.
Ten plus years and for noreason the person stopped
talking to me.
Jess (23:47):
OK, so maybe that's the defining difference.
It's like to your point.
These are literally going to bethe people until you die For
the season, but they're morethan a season, it's just.
Mss Francois (23:54):
Right, because that's 10 years of friendship,
sleeping in the same room,staying up all night, everybody
knowing everything.
Claude (24:02):
Well, what I mean is a season.
No, I understand what you mean.
It's not a season like fall.
Jess (24:06):
I know I understand.
I'm just saying, if you get tothe 10-year mark, by that point
you probably do think they'reWell, yeah, they say seven years
and you're like.
Mss Francois (24:15):
And sometimes people use the years, as I've
been in a relationship with myfriend for 20 years, but are you
really in?
Jess (24:22):
a relationship with your friend for 20 years, you with
your friends for 20 years.
You're right.
That actually blows it up too,because there are definitely
some friendships that I havethat I mean I love them.
We've known each other for so,so many years.
Mss Francois (24:30):
Yeah, because people like using the number and
I've known someone for sixmonths.
Have she done more for me or wedone more?
I create win-win situationsthan someone I've known for 10,
15 years.
Jess (24:49):
Because person for 20 years.
That's my friend since gradeschool.
Yeah, but are we friends?
Friends, well, what do youthink about then, those friends
that you can like pick up?
So I have one that I literallyhave known since I was born and
we pick up the phone about onceor twice a year and it's like no
time has lost right, all right,but you see, we're still there
but that's in a certain category.
Mss Francois (25:03):
Then you have friends.
You could you look like jessa.
You look like you talk toClaude every day or every other
day.
Girl, look outside.
Girl, I bought flowers.
Right, I have my friend.
We call each other once a year.
Again, lots of friends.
No one is saying nothing'swrong with that, because Jess
(25:25):
has insisted she's like.
I don't have imposter syndrome.
I have a hundred confidants.
You, let me tell you something,jess.
Let me let you get super richand famous.
Right now, half of thoseconstituents and friends will
gladly write a book and throwyou under the bus for money.
And again, we only see thesethings when you reach to a
certain level in life.
You'll be surprised.
(25:45):
Right now, claude is likeparagraph two of the book.
Jess (25:52):
Then Jessica did this oh, I'm confident.
Okay, so you founded ThrivingGoddesses and that kind of has a
similar element to it whereyou're kind of bringing people
together.
How can our work besties createthat same kind of supportive
community that you're creatingin our workplace?
(26:13):
And also, what is it?
Mss Francois (26:15):
Okay, so mine focuses on women healing from
broken relationships and thoseexploring new relationships,
right, because a lot of times Ithink with women in that context
, we feel alone and we're likewe're the only one going through
it.
So the whole reason behind itwas everybody has their story,
(26:36):
but we can help each other inthe group, right?
Simple thing, like the stuffthat I post.
I have a webinar, like once amonth.
Again, it's continue toencourage people and encourage
people to comment on each other,the posts that I post, because,
again, you don't know whatsomeone is going through and
something you say, someone mightlook at it and be like, oh my
God, that's what I needed tohear today.
(26:56):
I get that a lot with comments.
I get that a lot with, like,some of the emails that I sent
out.
Like someone screenshotsomething and sent it to me like
you have no idea the differenceit's made in my day to day.
You don't know.
You know, and I think a lot oftimes everybody wants to go
things alone.
I dislike when someone say I didit all by myself.
It's impossible.
If you rob a bank, you had somekind of help.
(27:17):
I'm sorry, good or bad.
If you rob a bank.
You had some kind of help.
I'm sorry, good or bad, you hadsome kind of help.
So I think I'm just providing aspace for people to help each
other and I'm also assistingwhen I provide, you know, and it
is free, just Facebook Because,again, I remember there were
times when I wish I had someoneto just give me a hug or say
it's going to be okay.
And I think I'm just providingthat in a different way, cause
(27:39):
you never know who life you'retouching.
You have a podcast, you don't.
Jess (27:43):
Sometimes you think you know who you're impacting just
because they don't like orcomment, that don't mean you
didn't change someone's life,that's so true, yeah, and I
think the thing that drew me tothat and why I brought it up to
the work bestie influence is thefact that we get that a lot
with some of the quotes that youdo, where people will comment
and be like this just broughtright into my day, my work
bestie just left, I'm all alone.
(28:04):
It's good to have you as like abackup.
So I do.
I feel like the element thatyou're providing to that is
definitely something that thework bestie community can also
contribute to as well.
Maybe different spin right alittle bit more on how do you
have that support and love inyour work environment?
But there's definitelysomething to that for sure,
cause it builds.
(28:25):
It builds the instant supportcommunity.
Mss Francois (28:28):
Yeah, and we all need support, and I think that's
what people keep forgetting.
We can't do everything byourselves.
We can start some things, butyou need a team, you need a
support system along the way.
Claude (28:40):
Social Yep, you need that support.
Jess (28:43):
Yeah.
So you had a one-woman showcalled Frustrated right.
Wasn't it a hit.
You even won a Toastmasters.
I hear how does laughter inyour life?
Mss Francois (28:58):
really change the way you show up.
Girl, if it was not forlaughter I think that's no
number one thing I would not behere right now.
And that's one of the thingsfor me to be able to even make
other people laugh.
I only realized that was mygift a few years ago because of
Toastmasters.
Like Toastmasters allowed methe space to you know, have
(29:18):
those speeches and hopefully, ifyou all don't know what
Toastmasters is, toastmasterorgit will change your life because
the people you meet there andyou get to develop.
It's just an amazingenvironment to be around.
But even me looking up if youjust look up laughter it's a
resilience, build connection.
It is a painkiller.
(29:38):
It does so many things.
I tell people a lot of timesyou wouldn't even need
healthcare if you would justlaugh each day.
Also, it plays a huge elementEven with my TV show, the
speeches that I do a lot oftimes if you turn on a program
and you just see everyone goingHi, my name is Ms Francois and
today, remember, we have so manydifferent channels to choose
from.
(29:58):
People just click through thechannel.
But if you provide someone,there's the energy alone.
Like the energy I'm providinghere, it will let someone stay
on a little few seconds longerand give you you know, let's see
what Miss Francois is talkingabout.
But laughter is, yeah, laughteris definitely healing and even
with my show, the one woman thatfrustrated.
(30:19):
It sounds like an interestingtitle, but it's basically the
journey of my relationships andeven though I go through the
journey, even though some of itis sad and heartbreaking, I add
the humor and in the end of itthere is a lesson.
Jess (30:33):
So you use the lesson or the laughter to kind of help
keep people on.
Mss Francois (30:38):
Yeah, because you're going to remember, you
remember so much more of itbecause you attach the laughter
Remember when she said thisthat's crazy, but you're going
to get the lesson out of it,Because the whole point of even
though I went through all theserelationships and I got hurt and
cheated on and all, and somepeople, some men, made me feel
less than all these things.
At the end, what I failed torealize is that I needed to love
(31:00):
myself more.
Jess (31:03):
I love that.
Claude (31:03):
I feel like everyone can kind of benefit from that and I
think laughing is so importantand as we get older we kind of
lose a little bit.
Sometimes, you know it's whenyou're younger you have those
crazy laugh where your stomachis hurting.
Mss Francois (31:19):
Yeah, you know, and I feel as you get older it's
kind of yeah, because thinkabout it when you're young, when
, when you're a kid, when you'rea teenager, I mean, the
problems you have taught you howto is not real problems, but
you're more fun, you're morefree.
When you get older, you havemarriage and you have kids.
You have bills to pay.
Yeah, you ain't thinking.
Let me stop and laugh.
(31:40):
You're like, let me calculate,like it's so much more on your
plate which is understandable.
But this is why you have togive yourself and make yourself
time.
People like to say it's only 24hours in a day.
Yes, but it's what you do withthose 24 hours Time management.
How much is for you, how muchis for other people?
But think about it.
People complain about the timewe have, but then you realize
(32:04):
how much time we've been wasting.
We're watching TV, we'reNetflixing and chilling for
hours when you could be usingthat time more constructively.
Jess (32:08):
Yeah, I laugh because there's so many people that will
sit there and say I don't havetime to watch a movie but then
binge watch like 10 episodes.
Mss Francois (32:14):
Exactly, exactly so.
It's amazing to me we makeexcuses for what we want to make
excuses for.
We make time for what we wantto make time for.
Jess (32:24):
Right.
So what's your advice forpeople that feel like they are
surrounded by others that dimtheir light, whether in a
professional or personal?
Mss Francois (32:33):
environment.
You're letting that person dimyour light.
You're choosing to be aroundthat person.
Let me tell you something whenyou decide to do the personal
development work on yourself,find yourself in conferences,
joining groups like ToastmasterI belong to a few different
groups Elevate and Empower, likedifferent groups, I join.
(32:53):
Right, believe me, those peoplethat were supposedly dimming
their light, or those negativeNancy's, whatever you want to
call them you naturally outgrowthem, but you're the one
choosing to stay around them,regardless of their friend or
your coworkers.
After a while, when people getyour certain energy and they see
when you continue to grow, yougrow.
They naturally fall off.
(33:14):
Sometimes you're the one thatwants to continue being around
those people.
That's your fault, that's nottheir fault.
They, they, they, they who theywant to be, yeah, yeah,
continue, right, they continuebeing negative.
They love coming to work andbeing negative 24 hours a day.
I have some people at my jobthat they have different people.
They're negative.
Guess what that person get agood morning, morning, how
(33:36):
you're doing, good evening, goodnight, whatever the case might
be, and I move on.
I don't have this longconversation with that person
and after a while, theynaturally will not gravitate
towards you because you're notfeeding into their negativity.
People feed into people.
Girl, you see that that dressdon't look nice on that person
and then you go.
Well, I guess not.
It doesn't look nice becausethat color made.
(33:57):
Why.
Why are you choosing that?
No, that's so true I am superintelligent.
I don't know why I don't havelike two, three husbands already
but that's why you'reintelligent.
Claude (34:10):
What's what's in that cup?
I know.
No, it's boring, watered down.
Jess (34:16):
I wish it was, but it's not.
So if someone's feeling stuck,I'm going to ask Ja, but you can
relate it to relationships too.
What's that one thing that theycould start today to help
reclaim their confidence?
Mss Francois (34:30):
First of all, I would say focus on what your
gifts are, because I don't knowwhat job the person is in, right
, so say, for instance, my gift.
I would say one is laughter andI am good at organizing.
Focus on your gift and whateverjob you in Maybe.
For instance, I work in a bank,right, we have community stuff.
That goes on.
And again, I found these thingslater on about myself because I
(34:52):
continue to grow and learnabout myself and I realize, ok,
I'm good at planning stuff,right, I work in a bank, people
wanting people here bank.
They hear money, right, andthey hear, right, they hear
customers and people.
But I'm good at planning.
I'm good at making people laugh, so I focus on my gift.
So when I have customers, Imake them laugh.
(35:12):
That brings me joy.
I'm using my gift.
I like to organize.
I look with my surroundings ofmy job.
I like to organize.
I look with my surroundings ofmy job.
What do they need?
Help planning?
We have financial literacy.
I can offer my assistancebecause I'm using my gift.
When you use your gift you tendto be happier.
I am good at speaking.
I find, oh, they have certainlittle events that my job might
(35:33):
have.
I ask to offer my assistance inthose things.
So I'm still at my job, but I'mdoing things that I love
because I'm using my gift.
So, while you're in your joband if that's what you can do,
it's still a choice to be there,people.
But if that's what you chooseto do in this moment, find out
what your gift is, offer yourgift in different aspects of
your job and you will be happier.
(35:53):
It could be for now, but youwill tend to be happier because
I know at some point I did notlike my job If you're watching
that, you all know but at thesame time now I honestly could
say I love my job.
Some people hate when I say thatbecause most people hate their
job.
But I'm like, if you hate yourjob, that's fine, then you
(36:14):
should be looking for somethingelse.
But most people stay in theirjob and complain every day or
look for nothing else.
It's still a choice.
I else, it's still a choice.
I choose to still be in my jobbecause I love my customers, I
love using my gifts andelevating myself, and where I
work in this present moment, inmy job.
So I get to say I love my job.
So still a choice, people yeah.
Claude (36:30):
So a question that goes with the, the what is it symptom
, the imposter, imposter symptom.
Right, how do you know, howdoes someone realize what they
are good at?
Because sometimes they will notknow.
So how do you come so it's easy.
Mss Francois (36:49):
Your gift is something you do without having
to think about it, withouthaving to use any effort and
even if you fight to figure thatout right, because people will
tell you.
They tell you every day oh myGod, jess, you're amazing at
organization, jess.
You're great at decoration, butyou take it for granted.
Oh, everyone does that.
(37:10):
You're great at planning.
Oh my God, you're so hilarious.
You're great at cooking.
I love when you make thosedesserts, but you're like oh, I
do that all the time.
Yeah, you don't look likeyou're cooking.
Jess (37:21):
You're doing a lot until cooking.
Mss Francois (37:25):
But it's so many different ways.
But number one is really lookat what are things you do easily
.
Claude (37:30):
And listen to the people that will tell you what you're
at.
Go back to your confidants.
Jess (37:35):
If they're truly your confidants, they can tell you
Confidants.
If they're truly yourconfidants, they can tell you.
You can say it out loud to themand then, like you'd be like
giggling, like oh wait, no, I'mnot good at it.
Mss Francois (37:43):
Yeah.
So it's different things.
People just don't realize it.
And if confidence and strangerswill tell you what your gift is
, but you, but you don't thinkit's that that important, cause
you.
It's so easy and it comes toyou all the time.
A lot of times when I planevents at my job, I'm like
anybody could do that Simplething as taking a photo.
Have you ever asked someone totake a photo like you had an
(38:03):
event and when you get the photoback, they took all the ceiling
and the floor.
Then you could give someoneelse and they say pose and they
go left.
They get it perfectly Right.
That's that person gift withoutthem even knowing it, and
someone might take that forgranted.
You pay photographers hundredsof dollars to take photography.
(38:27):
That's a gift.
Yeah, that's true, I know.
I told you I'm super smart.
Oh my God, you know what it isto be this cute and this
intelligent.
I would not know it's a gift.
Claude (38:39):
I know See again.
San Francisco ImposterSyndrome's a gift, I know see
again so that's one of the goodthings.
Mss Francois (38:48):
That's why Jess is your friend, because Jess gets
to tell you you're great, you'reamazing, and she gets to remind
you sometimes when you forgetwe do.
Jess (38:55):
We literally had a text exchange a couple days ago where
I was like wait, you don't know, you're good at this.
How have you never figured thatout?
Mss Francois (39:03):
Yeah, and sometimes you have to shake up.
Sometimes you need a littleshake because sometimes people,
they just don't see it.
Jess (39:09):
I already forgot what it was.
You're that good at it.
Claude (39:12):
It was an organization Good organizer Messy, but I'm a
good organizer actually, BecauseI'm messy.
Mss Francois (39:20):
It's so funny.
Claude is like looking up atthe sky, like yeah, I think I
remember when Somehow it'll cometo me.
Jess (39:25):
Oh, how about me?
Ms Francois, this is your wordsof wisdom are like so
encouraging.
I feel like I could laugh withyou all day long.
And for those that aren'twatching on YouTube, please do
watch on YouTube, but you've gotto see the background of Ms
Francois, like it's showing hershow, which I think I only saw a
little bit Now.
I'm like sucked in.
(39:46):
I want to go watch it.
This is gonna be my new show towatch.
But thank you so much, I didwant to ask you one last
question.
What's that?
One simple thing our couldchange right this second, to
start owning their confidence.
Mss Francois (39:59):
I think the one thing they can do to change that
is it could just be getting upin the morning.
Zig Ziglar said this.
I read a lot, okay, he saidjump out of your bed and it's
going to sound so dumb when youdo it and just go.
I love my life and I loveeverything about me Like
(40:20):
something dumb.
And he says it's going to feelso dumb the first time, the
second time you do it, butyou're going to start laughing
at yourself just for doing it.
And in doing that, he says,you'll be amazing on all these
endorphins and things just comesup in you and you'll start
laughing and start doingwhatever you're supposed to be
doing Something simple.
(40:40):
I think that's people's problem.
They always want this big,grand fix, grand course or
something as just little thingsthat we do each day.
So I would encourage everyonejust do something small to start
you on and you'll be amazed atwhat these tiny habits could
start doing.
Jess (40:57):
I can't wait to enact that .
To jump on the screen.
You can just see it.
Claude (41:03):
You're just seeing it, it's like, okay, she's gone,
let's start the day.
She's gone, for sure.
Now I love that.
Jess (41:14):
I'm really going to love it.
I'm going to start doing that.
This is fantastic.
I feel like to all our workbesties out there, let's try
that.
I know I definitely will.
Please take a picture of you ora video of you, I don't think
we want people taking videos ofthemselves.
Mss Francois (41:36):
You never know, because even when you do it, you
might laugh at your own self.
Jess (41:39):
When you laugh, you're beautiful.
I won't be doing that, but ifeveryone else in the WorkFesty
world wants to hear that,regardless, let's put it into
action.
Whether it's showing upconfidently or hyping up your
WorkFesty, or jumping out of bedand having someone video it,
let's just do something today.
Claude (41:52):
Yeah, and thank you again so much for your energy
and really helping everybodywith self-confidence.
No problem, please.
Where can the our viewer learnabout you, your handles?
Mss Francois (42:09):
well, I make it easy for everyone.
Once you all see my name it'smiss francois you can go on my
website on every social mediaand I do mean everyone, because
I'm there for everyone.
You can definitely follow me,like me, subscribe and support
me in any which way.
Claude (42:25):
Perfect.
Thank you and Work Bestie.
If you loved this episode,share it with someone who needs
this message and don't forget tolike, rate and subscribe and
we'll see you next time.
Thank you so much again, MissFrancois.
You're very welcome andsubscribe.
Awesome, and, as always, we'llsee you next time.
Thank you so much again, MsFrancois.
Mss Francois (42:43):
You're very welcome, my dear.
Jess (42:44):
Remember whether you're swapping snacks in the break
room, rescuing each other fromendless meetings or just sending
that perfectly timed meme.
Having a work bestie is likehaving your own personal hype
squad.
Claude (42:57):
So keep lifting each other, laughing through the
chaos and, of course, thriving.
Until next time, stay positive,stay productive and don't
forget to keep supporting eachother.
Work besties.
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