October 27, 2025 • 29 mins
Ruby Vesely is the kind of leader you wish you had—and the one you can start becoming today.
In this conversation with Jess and Claude, Ruby—executive coach, HR strategist, and co-author of You, Me, We—shares how to build workplaces where people feel seen, safe, and supported.
She walks us through:
- The 10-second “What’s your number today?” check-in that transforms team culture
- The 5 practices of being an ally at work (generosity, compassion, vulnerability, candor, accountability)
- Why presence—not perfection—is the real leadership superpower
- How to model boundaries and self-care so your team believes you
- What it means to be your own work bestie
✨ Take the Free Ally Mindset Profile
Discover your natural strengths and growth areas across the 5 ally practices. Perfect for teams or personal reflection.
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Work Besties! Theme Song Written by Ralph Lentini @therallyband
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ruby Vesley (00:00):
Ask each other what's your number today.
We don't have to explain it.
It's a quick uh check-in so weknow how to show up for each
other differently.
Claude (00:08):
Hi, I'm Clun and I'm Jess.
We are corporate employees byday, entrepreneurs by night, and
work besties for life.
Jess (00:16):
Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up,
laugh through the chaos, andthrive together in every
industry.
Work besties! When weinterviewed Marag Bear back in
episode 46, we knew right awaywe had to talk to work besties.
We are so excited to have Ruby,who's an executive coach, HR
(00:39):
strategist, keynote speaker, andthe co-author of You Me We, a
book that puts words tosomething we've always believed.
Work is better when you have afriend by your side.
Claude (00:50):
But she doesn't stop there.
Ruby helps people lead withcompassion, create cultures that
feel good and show up fully,whether you're the CEO or a new
hire.
Jess (01:00):
Stay with us to the end.
Ruby shares one surprisinglysimple shift that anyone can
make to create more connection,joy, and trust at work, even if
you're not in a leadership role.
Ruby, welcome.
Ruby Vesley (01:12):
Thank you.
I'm super psyched to be herewith you.
Jess (01:16):
Let's start with something that's very close to our
hearts.
What does the phrase workbestie mean to you?
Ruby Vesley (01:21):
The word that comes just right out of my soul is
joy.
Someone who brings joy thatwould be on your joy list.
And if you were to make a listof all the things that bring you
joy, I would say work bestie isone of those things.
I definitely think about itwith Morag, with Eric, with
Jose, who's also on our team.
I wake up every morning andthere's some days I don't want
(01:42):
to go to work, but I actuallyget up not only because you know
I need to get made and for myclients, but I get up for them.
Right.
And also in service of theirfamilies and our collective
success.
So it's it's thinking beyondourselves and considering those
that are our besties, right?
And how do we make lives betterfor all of us?
Claude (02:04):
Yeah.
It is so true because when thatis really the real teamwork,
right?
You do for your team, even ifyou don't want to do it, but you
will do it because you don'twant your team or your work
bestie to let them down.
Jess (02:17):
So I I know your ethos and and the element of how having
meaningful relationships at workis so helpful.
What shaped your career or gotyou to be in service of this
focus?
Ruby Vesley (02:31):
You know, it's it's organic, right?
I I took this um cerveyed in anearly job, and the number one
thing that came out in thesurvey was the gift of helps, H
E L P S, which was really thegift of service.
And that really landed for me.
And the goal, even to this day,is how can I help make your
(02:52):
life lighter in the work that wedo, or how can I support your
teens' lives to be lighter, thatjoyful, that work besties.
But I kind of came up throughthe leadership development
channel, and I had amazingpeople in my world.
And and one of the practices,actually, of our book of being
an ally to other people is aboutconnection and compassion.
(03:12):
It was my early teens, and mydad had cancer, and within six
months of his diagnosis, hepassed away.
And it was early in my career.
And my HR team showed up for meon this human level, and I was
still held accountable for thethings I needed to get done, but
I was able to really take careof my family and be in service
(03:33):
of my dad and spend time withhim and still do the work.
And it just taught me a lotabout how we show up for each
other at work, even in thosedifficult times.
And it got in my bones a littlebit in how people feel in our
presence and how they feel.
Do they feel loved on?
Do they feel valued?
Do they feel seen?
(03:54):
It changes the nature of whatit feels like at work.
Um, that seed was planted evenbefore that, but really cemented
in my early 20s when all thosepeople just showed up for me in
such a brilliant way in thatreally difficult time.
It taught me a lot about whatkind of leader I wanted to be.
Claude (04:12):
For HR event to show up that way.
And I think it's a greatexample of what should be.
Ruby Vesley (04:19):
And even in that story, I talk about how everyone
showed up for the funeral, justshowing up in life and giving
people time to navigate thosesacred moments that are
occurring, the good stuff andthe hard stuff.
It just changes the way itfeels and it changes
relationships.
Jess (04:35):
And feeling feeling the valued and scene, as you
commented about.
You were part of theco-authorship of the You, Me,
and We with Morag, who we love.
And Eric, who we'll have to getnext on this podcast.
We gotta get the trifecta.
For those that are viewing thatum are listening.
Ruby is showing the book You,Me, Weave, that she co-authored
(04:57):
with Eric and Mrag.
So, what inspired the three ofyou to write this book together?
Ruby Vesley (05:02):
Morag's first book, uh, Cultivate the Power of
Winning Relationships at Work.
The second edition actuallyjust came out and she did the
audio, and it's her beautifulBritish voice.
It's amazing, so you shouldcheck that out.
Jess (05:14):
Um, her voice is so soothing too.
Ruby Vesley (05:16):
That book is really about what are your critical
goals, the things you're tryingto accomplish in your personal
life at work, um, and who arethe critical stakeholders and
what is the quality and depth ofthose relationships.
And then it's getting to thinkabout what actions do I want to
take or how do I want to show upto shift this relationship.
We may not become allies, buthow do I move them more towards
(05:39):
an ally relationship based on myactions?
So the second book is it's moreour collective thinking now,
too.
Morag wrote that book, thefirst book, right when I joined
her years ago, I was one of thereaders of that early book.
Um, and then I started workingfor her.
And we've been teaching thesemodels, right?
The cultivate models, therelationship ecosystem, and
starting to bring in our ownstories and our own experiences
(06:02):
of friends at work based andalso just working with our
clients.
And so this book um is more onhow do you show up?
What are the there's fivepractices in there?
How do I show up as a friend toothers at work?
What are those baby steps thatI can take and to start building
stronger relationships?
And we actually wrote it duringCOVID.
(06:23):
So we had a little bit of thatlens too, when we were more
disconnected and we were we weremostly remote initially, and
then moving into this hybridlane, which a lot of companies
are still fully remote now andhybrid.
So it has some of that nuancein it as well.
And what are the five andthere's five practices, and
they're both kind of doublebarreled.
(06:44):
The first one is abundance andgenerosity.
To show up as a friend at workto others, it's about sharing
resources, sharing time,creating space so you can
actually learn about the otherperson.
And it's it's all about thatgenerosity and abundance.
And that's one of the things Ialways tell Maura, that's like
her strongest quality.
She's always been superabundant in generosity.
(07:06):
And even in writing this book,she wanted Eric and I to bring
our voices forward as well.
That's just like what's writtenin her.
Um, and then connection andcompassion is the second one.
This is knowing the peoplearound you, knowing their story
beyond the work, operating in away that people do see, seen,
valued, her, and then justcompassion, which is pure
(07:27):
empathy, just being present withpeople, some of those things
we're already talked about.
The third one's courage andvulnerability.
This is being um trustingsomeone enough or being
courageous enough to ask forhelp.
My edge is actually receivinghelp, trusting someone to say, I
have no idea what the hell I'mdoing.
Will you please help me?
Or I've backed myself in acorner.
(07:49):
I'm screwed.
Will you please support me inthis?
So there's a little bit ofvulnerability of showing what's
inside.
So you have abundance andgenerosity, connection,
compassion, courage andvulnerability.
The fourth one is candor anddebate.
This is the having the hardconversations, being willing to
say the thing that you'rethinking, feeling safe enough to
(08:09):
do that.
You can see how they start tobuild, right?
We have to spend time withpeople, feel safe and connected
so that we can start to bevulnerable.
And then now we can really dothe work and dig in and really
create, if if you're thinkingabout in the business
environment, creating a productthat is beyond everyone's
imaginations, right?
If you had done the work onyour own.
But we've got to be able totalk about the hard things and
(08:32):
have the hard conversations.
And the last one's action andaccountability.
So that's keeping your word,that's doing what you say you're
going to do.
Um then when we think of theway we sort of define
accountability is sort oflooking up from your own life
and your own work andproactively thinking about what
others might need.
This one reminds me ofservice-based leadership a
(08:52):
little bit.
Um, so those are the fivepractices.
Claude (08:56):
I just love those because it's really good
relationship.
Any relationship.
Yeah, it's just as it's a work,it's really, you know, I I just
love it.
It goes from very big and thenit goes, and then you have this
unit of this friendship becauseyou put all together.
I think it's great.
Ruby Vesley (09:15):
Well, I love that you said that too, because you
can also look at it, and we havethe ally mindset profiles.
I'll share the link with thatfor you, and it's free for
anybody.
And it asks you a series ofquestions, and you'll get a
report that shows what are yourstrongest scoring areas?
What are those things that comemore naturally?
What are those things that takemore energy and intentionality?
Like for me, connection andcompassion.
(09:35):
I don't even have to thinkabout it.
Candor and debate.
I have to really think aboutit.
I have to build up my courageand I have to feel safe and I
have to, it's more risky for me.
So it's it's a it's a beautifulmodel, like you said, right?
Thinking about just each of thepieces and how am I showing up
in this relationship and whichone might I really lean into in
this particular frame to make itdifferent.
Jess (09:58):
Knowing the group of individuals you're working with,
where you think they're at,too, right?
Because to your point, youmight have the concern about
getting to the candor anddebate, but they might not even
be ready for the connection.
Ruby Vesley (10:12):
Right.
Yeah, such a good point.
Jess (10:14):
So I I know you guys have worked with so many different
leaders and different types ofcompanies and organization.
From your perspective, whatreally separates out those good
leaders from the great ones?
Ruby Vesley (10:28):
There are two things that I really care deeply
about that if I'm leading ateam or working with someone
that you'll hear me talk aboutit, it just comes out of my
mouth.
So, one deep presence, it's ait's a phrase I think about a
lot, is really being in thismoment with the human in front
(10:50):
of you.
Especially if you are oncamera.
I mean, we we do it in person,I think we're better about it,
but I still have been anin-person, I've led in-tech
teams recently, high levelswhere everyone is doing
something else on their retreat.
And it makes me like burninside.
Jess (11:09):
I'm like, if this was the one thing on the retreat, not
just like I'm thinking ofroutine meetings, and there's so
many people are like, Can youanswer that question?
You're like, Yeah, becauseyou're not paying attention.
I know.
Ruby Vesley (11:21):
Yes, yeah, and I feel like it's actually micro
cuts in relationships.
We are not witnessing someonewhen they're speaking, our human
nature, like we can't handleit.
I think there's something weget into fight or flight,
actually.
We're actively making thatrelationship worse if we are not
present.
Period.
(11:42):
And so that's one.
That's you can see I get reallypassionate about it.
That's my first one.
Claude (11:47):
But before you go to the other one, you actually make
them present.
Do you just call them out?
Ruby Vesley (11:54):
We do.
I actually can think of oneteam that we were working with a
few months ago.
Um, my colleague Eric, he gotin this coaching mindset where
you can practice courage, right,and speak truth.
And then they get withoutattachment, right?
And they get to decide whatthey want to do with it.
But they got it, and they shuteverything down.
And that leader reached out tous like a few weeks later, and
(12:16):
he's like, It was actuallylonger than that.
He's like, everything haschanged.
And they're keeping theircommitments and they're being
it's changed the way that theytalk to one another.
It's it's so important.
Jess (12:28):
I'm sure because it's known when you attend this
particular meeting now, you donot come in with the mindset of
you're multitasking.
Maybe use your computer to lookup something, but not uh yeah,
and be explicit about whatyou're doing.
Ruby Vesley (12:43):
And as they were very high leaders in the
organization, and one of themcommitted to, hey, I'm going to
show up in this one very publicmeeting, I'm committing to you
that I will do nothing else.
And so now they're thinkingabout, well, how does my
presence ripple out into therest of the organization?
So if I'm showing up presentwith my team, they know that
(13:07):
that's expected.
Jess (13:08):
Right.
Exactly.
Ruby Vesley (13:09):
Because there are people are always watching us as
leaders, they're alwayswatching us, every little thing
that we do.
Jess (13:16):
Totally.
And why would they do somethingyou say to do if you're not
doing?
Of course.
It sounds simple, but it'strue.
Well, it's like being a parent.
Claude (13:25):
There's a knock of some matter.
Ruby Vesley (13:27):
And the second one is as leaders, we have to
practice self-care.
We have to take care ofourselves.
And I think I care so muchabout this one just because I
think it's my edge as well.
Like the slowing down, takingcare of myself, holding
boundaries, all those things,having the tough conversations,
(13:49):
speaking up.
Like that's we have to do it.
And when we take care ofourselves and model it for other
people, we show up differentlyin the world.
Like, think about when you'rerested and you've really taken
care of yourself, or you'veexercised all week and you're
going out for the evening andyou feel alive, like that
(14:09):
aliveness it impacts the peoplearound you.
That light goes beyond you.
Claude (14:17):
Yeah, totally.
I remember actually there wasone person on my team, and it
was during a stress full time.
And one day she, and I guess Iwas stressed.
And one day she turned aroundand she's like, Are you okay?
You're not the same.
And that actually, and Iappreciated that because at
least it snapped me out of it.
(14:39):
I'm like, Oh, okay, I need tobe careful.
I'm not showing up like Ishould be.
My team sees it, and I I thinkthat is so important, like you
say, like self-care andrealizing when to stop.
Ruby Vesley (14:53):
Yeah, yeah.
It's authenticity too, right?
Taking care of yourself andshowing who you are and all of
those things.
Jess (15:00):
Yeah.
And I I've been encouraging myteam, and actually they now say
it, they're like, Oh, I blockedthat out for this.
I actually tell them, block itout on your calendar.
Like, even if it's during theday, I'd rather you disappear
for an hour to go do an exerciseclass or to, you know, whatever
errands you need to do thatwill help you calm down.
Have you need to go see atherapist, whatever it is, just
(15:22):
to encourage that they do takethat time for themselves.
And I I'm honest with them too.
Like, here are the two nightsthat I'm definitely have to
leave by so-and-so time so I canbe with my daughter.
And I think it helps peoplefeel more comfortable too, and
you as a leader say you're doingit.
Ruby Vesley (15:39):
So and you practice it.
Jess (15:41):
Yeah.
Ruby Vesley (15:41):
Right.
I mean, I have leaders who arelike, don't work at night and
turn off your computer, andthey're sending emails at
midnight or 8:30, and then andthen the other people don't have
boundaries, right?
And it's it's going off ontheir phone or on their watch.
And so then they're responding.
So it's thinking about how wemodel it.
And um, there's something wealways say, you've probably
(16:03):
heard this before, but and aleader brings the weather.
How we walk into a room and howwe feel, and people can feel it
when we're faking it, they justcan't.
Jess (16:13):
Most companies kind of use the belonging as a buzzword.
How do you help companies movepast that?
What are some ways if todaythat company isn't showcasing
belonging, that you can helpthem infuse that in there?
Ruby Vesley (16:29):
If you think about the model, even being an ally to
others, it's abundance andgenerosity.
I would always call that astarting place, which is making
space for something other thanwork.
Right.
So there's a littlespaciousness in there, or to
your point, Jess, the um, hey,if you need to go take care of
yourself, like letting peopleknow it's okay to do that, but
(16:52):
creating space for people to betogether, either virtually and
deeply present together.
I think is the do people feellike you see them?
Do people know that you careabout them?
Do you do little things thataren't expected to um let people
know you're thinking aboutthem?
And and it really is, I wouldsay, even just being present
(17:14):
with someone and having aconversation and being curious
about their life withoutjudgment is amazing.
You can see people light upwhen you start to ask them about
whatever they care about,right?
Like their DD group, right?
Or their wedding they went tolast Saturday, or pictures of
the kids on their desks, or justsharing little pieces of who we
(17:37):
are.
We don't have to knoweverything, but creating space
and time to know the human isthe number one thing.
Jess (17:43):
Before we start recording, you'd made a comment about how
you can be a best friend foryourself.
What is what does that mean toyou?
Ruby Vesley (17:50):
I love that you asked that question.
Thank you.
Very passionate about that.
Um, when we wrote this book andwe started thinking about,
well, how do I show up in theworld for others?
We very quickly realized thatthere's actually a whole nother
conversation that's equallyweighted of how do I actually
show up for myself so that Ihave the energy and the capacity
and the aliveness and thewillingness to actually invest
(18:14):
in other relationships.
As I think about this model,it's the same model, but it's
focused on self-care.
So the first one abundance andgenerosity.
Do you create space and timefor yourself?
Do you practice lavishself-care?
Some people, my buddy Eric'snever gonna practice lavish
self-care.
I'm like, that's fine, but canyou move it a centimeter over?
(18:35):
So it starts with space andtime for ourselves, which is the
one thing that a lot of us cutwhen we have all these things
going off and on in our personaland our professional lives,
it's the easiest thing to cutbecause we can control it.
The second one's connection andcompassion.
It's really checking in.
What am I feeling right now?
How has this week been?
(18:56):
What's working?
What's not?
If we just keep living ourlives above the fray and we
don't check in, we are probablyliving a life that's
unintentional.
We've got to create space andtime to connect with what are my
values right now?
What do I care about?
What's most important?
What needs to go?
Because if we don't, we'rekeeping commitments that maybe
(19:18):
aren't aligned with our valuesand what we care about.
Maybe we're in a marriagethat's not great, that we
haven't dealt with for 10 years,right?
If we don't slow down, if wedon't take the time and connect
and be compassionate withourselves, it's it's hard to
live the life we're longing for.
The next one's courage andvulnerability.
This is it's being willing toshow a little bit of what's
(19:39):
inside, letting the light show,let the cracks show a little
bit.
And the vulnerability for me isin taking risks that are based
on what you care about, yourvalues and your legacy and the
life you're longing for.
It's it's not ever easy to takebig risks, but it is a little
bit lighter if you know why thehell you're doing it and the
stake in the ground, right?
(20:01):
And why it's important to youversus doing something that's
really scary and you don't evenwant to do it in the first
place.
And then the fourth one iscandor and debate, which is kind
of funny with yourself, right?
It's like, why are we doingthis?
I don't know.
You're telling me.
Oh yeah, I don't know.
It's sort of like, why am Idoing this thing?
Do I have to do this thing?
Why am I making these stupidmuffins for this thing that I
(20:23):
don't really give a crap aboutanymore?
You know, those sort of things,really assessing the situation
and what stories am I tellingmyself?
Either imposter syndrome orwhat stories am I making up
about other people in my lives?
Is that true?
It's this questioning andwilling to do things differently
in some way.
And then the last one's actionand accountability, and that's
(20:45):
keeping your word to yourself.
But you can see how they allkind of start with abundance and
generosity, which is space andtime.
Claude (20:52):
And the result will give you the being the time to take
care of yourself, right?
The muffins or whatever.
If I don't do that, then I havetime to do whatever I love
doing.
Ruby Vesley (21:08):
And they're all connected.
And when we know what we careabout, when we know who we are,
when we're listening to aninside voice, in psychology,
they call it the capital S self.
In coaching, we call it theleader within or the wise one
inside.
When we're connected to thatand showing up in the world as
leaders, it's a way differentexperience, not only inside, but
(21:29):
for the people who are watchingus and dealing with us.
Jess (21:32):
It's like the putting your own oxygen mask on first.
You need to take care ofyourself before you really can,
in a social wellness way, takecare of others.
Looking at yourself in themirror as you're doing all of
these things.
Ruby Vesley (21:46):
Totally.
What am I experiencing and whatdo I need and what's different
today?
And even just taking stock forfive minutes before you jump on
a Zoom call, right?
Just taking that moment to geteverything out of your brain,
putting everything aside, takingsome deep breaths.
Like you've you've even justtuned in inside, which is going
(22:07):
to be very different thanhanging up the phone and
frantically going to the nextone or running to the bathroom,
or like it's um it just changeswhat it feels like.
And and you know what?
There's we can only do ourbest.
We do this other activity, wedo it in some of our workshops
and our keynotes, and we'll say,okay, tell me your number one
(22:27):
to 10.
So maybe you could tell me ifyou're you're willing to do it.
One is, and you can do it withyour hands if you want.
One is I have nothing today.
I didn't even want to get outof bed, and I am and 10 is like,
I'm cubing it.
I feel so good and I'm aliveand amazing.
So, what's your number today,do you think?
(22:47):
Just like a gut check-in.
Jess (22:50):
Listen, and Claude's face pretty much tells it all.
Um, I'm gonna go first becauseI actually took the day off.
And I actually got to get in along run, so it was a 10 for me
today.
I woke up super jazzed, andthere's a TV show that my
daughter loves.
We did the dance routine thismorning, and even she was like,
Well, this is the happiest I'veseen you in forever.
Claude (23:05):
So I would say I'm a five or six.
Ruby Vesley (23:08):
Yeah.
Claude (23:09):
Yeah, it was a semi-friday and I worked.
Ruby Vesley (23:11):
I'll do it too.
Vulnerability.
I would say I am probably uhseven or eight.
Jess (23:19):
Okay, that's good.
That's yeah.
Ruby Vesley (23:21):
I went to yoga and uh and I meditated this morning,
but I did these things inanticip in anticipation of
spending time with you.
So I was preparing my brain,and I knew that if I worked
until the moment I got on thiscall, that I wouldn't be able to
really be present and I mightshow up a little faky, and I
didn't want to do that.
(23:42):
Oh it's so it's payingattention, like getting ready
for what's coming.
Jess (23:48):
Yeah.
Ruby Vesley (23:49):
And and also where am I at right now?
And whatever your number is,that's your best.
If you're a two this morningand you go to bed at night and
you can reflect and say, okay,at a two, did I do my best?
You're good.
And you and you move on.
So it's like giving yourself alittle bit of grace as well.
Um, this is actually anactivity connecting it back to
(24:11):
building connection on yourteam.
This is something we do withwith our team.
We'll ask each other, what'syour number today?
We don't have to explain it.
It's a quick uh check-in so weknow how to show up for each
other differently.
If I know it's a three for you,I'm gonna ask the thing that I
need today.
Claude (24:28):
I love that that part because, for example, I say to
my team, what number are you?
And they'll be a three.
Do I then answer back, is thereanything that can help you to
elevate that number?
Ruby Vesley (24:39):
You have to use your eyes and your ears and your
intuition and in that situationand sort of feel it out,
depending on what you're tryingto accomplish as well.
My gut is that everyone gets tobe, and we get to be okay with
not having a good day.
And then if there's awork-related, like, hey, I know
today may not be feeling thegreatest.
Is there anything that youneed?
(25:00):
So it's I would say there's noreally hard and fast rule.
Definitely making it okay to bewhatever number you are.
So I'll give you an example ofhow we use this really quickly.
We had an off-site strategymeeting, and we're not usually
all in the same place at thesame time, it's very rare.
And we got together, and Ericwill tell you that he really
struggles with depression andanxiety.
(25:20):
And so he will wake upsometimes and not even know
what's gonna be there.
And we had this time set aside,and he came to our meeting and
he was kind of had his head inhis hands, and we're doing like
high-level strategy planning,intents where you need your
whole faculty to really even beinto it.
Uh, and he, and so Morag,brilliant, she was like, Eric,
(25:44):
what's your number?
And I think he said he was aone, and he kind of put his head
in his hands, and I'm like,There's no way we can do this.
We can't force him to do this.
We were actually at his house,and Morag's like, go take a nap.
And Morag and I were able toadjust.
We moved everything around andwe did our work.
He woke up like 45 minuteslater.
He was a two or three, but wehonored his experience.
(26:07):
We allowed him to choose if hewanted to come back.
It's a very different thingthan doing things we have to do.
We tell ourselves we have to dothings this way all the time,
and we don't.
So giving people a little bitof grace in that way.
Claude (26:20):
It's an incredible way for a leader to actually say to
someone, it's okay.
And it shows this empathy thatis so incredible that at the end
will make everybody work foryou, do even more because they
trust you, they allowed you tobe a one.
Jess (26:38):
Helping yourself as a work capacity for yourself.
If I come in as a one, no one'sgonna change me as a one.
Even if you don't have empathyfor me or not, I have to be able
to stand my ground and say Icannot do it today.
And I think that's also apowerful message, too.
This has been so lovely.
I feel like we've learned somuch.
(26:59):
We have one final reflection toshare with us one surprisingly
simple shift that anyone canmake to create more connection,
joy, and trust at work, even ifyou're not in a leadership role.
Ruby Vesley (27:12):
Um, one of the things that is really powerful
is when we reach out to someonejust to check on them when we
don't need something.
It doesn't have to be for 10minutes, it can be a quick slack
or a text or to let them knowthat you're thinking about them
outside of the work frame.
It's a way to build trust.
You have to be careful though,because the first time you do
(27:34):
it, everyone's gonna be like,Why are they calling me on a
phone?
And then self-care.
When do you gotta turn off yourphone?
You've gotta turn off yourlaptop, and you've gotta really
be present.
Really, all that others needfrom you is being being present.
I like it.
Claude (27:52):
Thank you, Ruby.
This conversation was likeexactly what we needed.
It's a reminder that connectionis a strategy, but not a set
effect, and it's also somethingthat has to come naturally.
If this resonated, share itwith your team or your work
(28:13):
bestie.
Yes.
Ruby, tell us how everyone canreach you.
Ruby Vesley (28:16):
You can have me on LinkedIn and more aggregate as
well.
Um, our website is skyteam.comand it's spelled SK Team, like
the Isle of Sky.
Thank you, Scooby.
Thank you for having me.
Jess (28:30):
Remember, whether you're swapping snacks in the break
room, rescuing each other fromendless meetings, or just
sending that perfectly timedmeme.
Having a work bestie is likehaving your own personal hype
squad.
Claude (28:43):
So keep lifting each other up, laughing through the
chaos, and of course, thriving.
Until next time, stay positive,stay productive, and don't
forget to keep supporting eachother.
Jess (28:56):
Work besties!
Ask each other what's your number today.
We don't have to explain it.
It's a quick uh check-in so weknow how to show up for each
other differently.
Claude (00:08):
Hi, I'm Clun and I'm Jess.
We are corporate employees byday, entrepreneurs by night, and
work besties for life.
Jess (00:16):
Join us as we explore how work besties lift each other up,
laugh through the chaos, andthrive together in every
industry.
Work besties! When weinterviewed Marag Bear back in
episode 46, we knew right awaywe had to talk to work besties.
We are so excited to have Ruby,who's an executive coach, HR
(00:39):
strategist, keynote speaker, andthe co-author of You Me We, a
book that puts words tosomething we've always believed.
Work is better when you have afriend by your side.
Claude (00:50):
But she doesn't stop there.
Ruby helps people lead withcompassion, create cultures that
feel good and show up fully,whether you're the CEO or a new
hire.
Jess (01:00):
Stay with us to the end.
Ruby shares one surprisinglysimple shift that anyone can
make to create more connection,joy, and trust at work, even if
you're not in a leadership role.
Ruby, welcome.
Ruby Vesley (01:12):
Thank you.
I'm super psyched to be herewith you.
Jess (01:16):
Let's start with something that's very close to our
hearts.
What does the phrase workbestie mean to you?
Ruby Vesley (01:21):
The word that comes just right out of my soul is
joy.
Someone who brings joy thatwould be on your joy list.
And if you were to make a listof all the things that bring you
joy, I would say work bestie isone of those things.
I definitely think about itwith Morag, with Eric, with
Jose, who's also on our team.
I wake up every morning andthere's some days I don't want
(01:42):
to go to work, but I actuallyget up not only because you know
I need to get made and for myclients, but I get up for them.
Right.
And also in service of theirfamilies and our collective
success.
So it's it's thinking beyondourselves and considering those
that are our besties, right?
And how do we make lives betterfor all of us?
Claude (02:04):
Yeah.
It is so true because when thatis really the real teamwork,
right?
You do for your team, even ifyou don't want to do it, but you
will do it because you don'twant your team or your work
bestie to let them down.
Jess (02:17):
So I I know your ethos and and the element of how having
meaningful relationships at workis so helpful.
What shaped your career or gotyou to be in service of this
focus?
Ruby Vesley (02:31):
You know, it's it's organic, right?
I I took this um cerveyed in anearly job, and the number one
thing that came out in thesurvey was the gift of helps, H
E L P S, which was really thegift of service.
And that really landed for me.
And the goal, even to this day,is how can I help make your
(02:52):
life lighter in the work that wedo, or how can I support your
teens' lives to be lighter, thatjoyful, that work besties.
But I kind of came up throughthe leadership development
channel, and I had amazingpeople in my world.
And and one of the practices,actually, of our book of being
an ally to other people is aboutconnection and compassion.
(03:12):
It was my early teens, and mydad had cancer, and within six
months of his diagnosis, hepassed away.
And it was early in my career.
And my HR team showed up for meon this human level, and I was
still held accountable for thethings I needed to get done, but
I was able to really take careof my family and be in service
(03:33):
of my dad and spend time withhim and still do the work.
And it just taught me a lotabout how we show up for each
other at work, even in thosedifficult times.
And it got in my bones a littlebit in how people feel in our
presence and how they feel.
Do they feel loved on?
Do they feel valued?
Do they feel seen?
(03:54):
It changes the nature of whatit feels like at work.
Um, that seed was planted evenbefore that, but really cemented
in my early 20s when all thosepeople just showed up for me in
such a brilliant way in thatreally difficult time.
It taught me a lot about whatkind of leader I wanted to be.
Claude (04:12):
For HR event to show up that way.
And I think it's a greatexample of what should be.
Ruby Vesley (04:19):
And even in that story, I talk about how everyone
showed up for the funeral, justshowing up in life and giving
people time to navigate thosesacred moments that are
occurring, the good stuff andthe hard stuff.
It just changes the way itfeels and it changes
relationships.
Jess (04:35):
And feeling feeling the valued and scene, as you
commented about.
You were part of theco-authorship of the You, Me,
and We with Morag, who we love.
And Eric, who we'll have to getnext on this podcast.
We gotta get the trifecta.
For those that are viewing thatum are listening.
Ruby is showing the book You,Me, Weave, that she co-authored
(04:57):
with Eric and Mrag.
So, what inspired the three ofyou to write this book together?
Ruby Vesley (05:02):
Morag's first book, uh, Cultivate the Power of
Winning Relationships at Work.
The second edition actuallyjust came out and she did the
audio, and it's her beautifulBritish voice.
It's amazing, so you shouldcheck that out.
Jess (05:14):
Um, her voice is so soothing too.
Ruby Vesley (05:16):
That book is really about what are your critical
goals, the things you're tryingto accomplish in your personal
life at work, um, and who arethe critical stakeholders and
what is the quality and depth ofthose relationships.
And then it's getting to thinkabout what actions do I want to
take or how do I want to show upto shift this relationship.
We may not become allies, buthow do I move them more towards
(05:39):
an ally relationship based on myactions?
So the second book is it's moreour collective thinking now,
too.
Morag wrote that book, thefirst book, right when I joined
her years ago, I was one of thereaders of that early book.
Um, and then I started workingfor her.
And we've been teaching thesemodels, right?
The cultivate models, therelationship ecosystem, and
starting to bring in our ownstories and our own experiences
(06:02):
of friends at work based andalso just working with our
clients.
And so this book um is more onhow do you show up?
What are the there's fivepractices in there?
How do I show up as a friend toothers at work?
What are those baby steps thatI can take and to start building
stronger relationships?
And we actually wrote it duringCOVID.
(06:23):
So we had a little bit of thatlens too, when we were more
disconnected and we were we weremostly remote initially, and
then moving into this hybridlane, which a lot of companies
are still fully remote now andhybrid.
So it has some of that nuancein it as well.
And what are the five andthere's five practices, and
they're both kind of doublebarreled.
(06:44):
The first one is abundance andgenerosity.
To show up as a friend at workto others, it's about sharing
resources, sharing time,creating space so you can
actually learn about the otherperson.
And it's it's all about thatgenerosity and abundance.
And that's one of the things Ialways tell Maura, that's like
her strongest quality.
She's always been superabundant in generosity.
(07:06):
And even in writing this book,she wanted Eric and I to bring
our voices forward as well.
That's just like what's writtenin her.
Um, and then connection andcompassion is the second one.
This is knowing the peoplearound you, knowing their story
beyond the work, operating in away that people do see, seen,
valued, her, and then justcompassion, which is pure
(07:27):
empathy, just being present withpeople, some of those things
we're already talked about.
The third one's courage andvulnerability.
This is being um trustingsomeone enough or being
courageous enough to ask forhelp.
My edge is actually receivinghelp, trusting someone to say, I
have no idea what the hell I'mdoing.
Will you please help me?
Or I've backed myself in acorner.
(07:49):
I'm screwed.
Will you please support me inthis?
So there's a little bit ofvulnerability of showing what's
inside.
So you have abundance andgenerosity, connection,
compassion, courage andvulnerability.
The fourth one is candor anddebate.
This is the having the hardconversations, being willing to
say the thing that you'rethinking, feeling safe enough to
(08:09):
do that.
You can see how they start tobuild, right?
We have to spend time withpeople, feel safe and connected
so that we can start to bevulnerable.
And then now we can really dothe work and dig in and really
create, if if you're thinkingabout in the business
environment, creating a productthat is beyond everyone's
imaginations, right?
If you had done the work onyour own.
But we've got to be able totalk about the hard things and
(08:32):
have the hard conversations.
And the last one's action andaccountability.
So that's keeping your word,that's doing what you say you're
going to do.
Um then when we think of theway we sort of define
accountability is sort oflooking up from your own life
and your own work andproactively thinking about what
others might need.
This one reminds me ofservice-based leadership a
(08:52):
little bit.
Um, so those are the fivepractices.
Claude (08:56):
I just love those because it's really good
relationship.
Any relationship.
Yeah, it's just as it's a work,it's really, you know, I I just
love it.
It goes from very big and thenit goes, and then you have this
unit of this friendship becauseyou put all together.
I think it's great.
Ruby Vesley (09:15):
Well, I love that you said that too, because you
can also look at it, and we havethe ally mindset profiles.
I'll share the link with thatfor you, and it's free for
anybody.
And it asks you a series ofquestions, and you'll get a
report that shows what are yourstrongest scoring areas?
What are those things that comemore naturally?
What are those things that takemore energy and intentionality?
Like for me, connection andcompassion.
(09:35):
I don't even have to thinkabout it.
Candor and debate.
I have to really think aboutit.
I have to build up my courageand I have to feel safe and I
have to, it's more risky for me.
So it's it's a it's a beautifulmodel, like you said, right?
Thinking about just each of thepieces and how am I showing up
in this relationship and whichone might I really lean into in
this particular frame to make itdifferent.
Jess (09:58):
Knowing the group of individuals you're working with,
where you think they're at,too, right?
Because to your point, youmight have the concern about
getting to the candor anddebate, but they might not even
be ready for the connection.
Ruby Vesley (10:12):
Right.
Yeah, such a good point.
Jess (10:14):
So I I know you guys have worked with so many different
leaders and different types ofcompanies and organization.
From your perspective, whatreally separates out those good
leaders from the great ones?
Ruby Vesley (10:28):
There are two things that I really care deeply
about that if I'm leading ateam or working with someone
that you'll hear me talk aboutit, it just comes out of my
mouth.
So, one deep presence, it's ait's a phrase I think about a
lot, is really being in thismoment with the human in front
(10:50):
of you.
Especially if you are oncamera.
I mean, we we do it in person,I think we're better about it,
but I still have been anin-person, I've led in-tech
teams recently, high levelswhere everyone is doing
something else on their retreat.
And it makes me like burninside.
Jess (11:09):
I'm like, if this was the one thing on the retreat, not
just like I'm thinking ofroutine meetings, and there's so
many people are like, Can youanswer that question?
You're like, Yeah, becauseyou're not paying attention.
I know.
Ruby Vesley (11:21):
Yes, yeah, and I feel like it's actually micro
cuts in relationships.
We are not witnessing someonewhen they're speaking, our human
nature, like we can't handleit.
I think there's something weget into fight or flight,
actually.
We're actively making thatrelationship worse if we are not
present.
Period.
(11:42):
And so that's one.
That's you can see I get reallypassionate about it.
That's my first one.
Claude (11:47):
But before you go to the other one, you actually make
them present.
Do you just call them out?
Ruby Vesley (11:54):
We do.
I actually can think of oneteam that we were working with a
few months ago.
Um, my colleague Eric, he gotin this coaching mindset where
you can practice courage, right,and speak truth.
And then they get withoutattachment, right?
And they get to decide whatthey want to do with it.
But they got it, and they shuteverything down.
And that leader reached out tous like a few weeks later, and
(12:16):
he's like, It was actuallylonger than that.
He's like, everything haschanged.
And they're keeping theircommitments and they're being
it's changed the way that theytalk to one another.
It's it's so important.
Jess (12:28):
I'm sure because it's known when you attend this
particular meeting now, you donot come in with the mindset of
you're multitasking.
Maybe use your computer to lookup something, but not uh yeah,
and be explicit about whatyou're doing.
Ruby Vesley (12:43):
And as they were very high leaders in the
organization, and one of themcommitted to, hey, I'm going to
show up in this one very publicmeeting, I'm committing to you
that I will do nothing else.
And so now they're thinkingabout, well, how does my
presence ripple out into therest of the organization?
So if I'm showing up presentwith my team, they know that
(13:07):
that's expected.
Jess (13:08):
Right.
Exactly.
Ruby Vesley (13:09):
Because there are people are always watching us as
leaders, they're alwayswatching us, every little thing
that we do.
Jess (13:16):
Totally.
And why would they do somethingyou say to do if you're not
doing?
Of course.
It sounds simple, but it'strue.
Well, it's like being a parent.
Claude (13:25):
There's a knock of some matter.
Ruby Vesley (13:27):
And the second one is as leaders, we have to
practice self-care.
We have to take care ofourselves.
And I think I care so muchabout this one just because I
think it's my edge as well.
Like the slowing down, takingcare of myself, holding
boundaries, all those things,having the tough conversations,
(13:49):
speaking up.
Like that's we have to do it.
And when we take care ofourselves and model it for other
people, we show up differentlyin the world.
Like, think about when you'rerested and you've really taken
care of yourself, or you'veexercised all week and you're
going out for the evening andyou feel alive, like that
(14:09):
aliveness it impacts the peoplearound you.
That light goes beyond you.
Claude (14:17):
Yeah, totally.
I remember actually there wasone person on my team, and it
was during a stress full time.
And one day she, and I guess Iwas stressed.
And one day she turned aroundand she's like, Are you okay?
You're not the same.
And that actually, and Iappreciated that because at
least it snapped me out of it.
(14:39):
I'm like, Oh, okay, I need tobe careful.
I'm not showing up like Ishould be.
My team sees it, and I I thinkthat is so important, like you
say, like self-care andrealizing when to stop.
Ruby Vesley (14:53):
Yeah, yeah.
It's authenticity too, right?
Taking care of yourself andshowing who you are and all of
those things.
Jess (15:00):
Yeah.
And I I've been encouraging myteam, and actually they now say
it, they're like, Oh, I blockedthat out for this.
I actually tell them, block itout on your calendar.
Like, even if it's during theday, I'd rather you disappear
for an hour to go do an exerciseclass or to, you know, whatever
errands you need to do thatwill help you calm down.
Have you need to go see atherapist, whatever it is, just
(15:22):
to encourage that they do takethat time for themselves.
And I I'm honest with them too.
Like, here are the two nightsthat I'm definitely have to
leave by so-and-so time so I canbe with my daughter.
And I think it helps peoplefeel more comfortable too, and
you as a leader say you're doingit.
Ruby Vesley (15:39):
So and you practice it.
Jess (15:41):
Yeah.
Ruby Vesley (15:41):
Right.
I mean, I have leaders who arelike, don't work at night and
turn off your computer, andthey're sending emails at
midnight or 8:30, and then andthen the other people don't have
boundaries, right?
And it's it's going off ontheir phone or on their watch.
And so then they're responding.
So it's thinking about how wemodel it.
And um, there's something wealways say, you've probably
(16:03):
heard this before, but and aleader brings the weather.
How we walk into a room and howwe feel, and people can feel it
when we're faking it, they justcan't.
Jess (16:13):
Most companies kind of use the belonging as a buzzword.
How do you help companies movepast that?
What are some ways if todaythat company isn't showcasing
belonging, that you can helpthem infuse that in there?
Ruby Vesley (16:29):
If you think about the model, even being an ally to
others, it's abundance andgenerosity.
I would always call that astarting place, which is making
space for something other thanwork.
Right.
So there's a littlespaciousness in there, or to
your point, Jess, the um, hey,if you need to go take care of
yourself, like letting peopleknow it's okay to do that, but
(16:52):
creating space for people to betogether, either virtually and
deeply present together.
I think is the do people feellike you see them?
Do people know that you careabout them?
Do you do little things thataren't expected to um let people
know you're thinking aboutthem?
And and it really is, I wouldsay, even just being present
(17:14):
with someone and having aconversation and being curious
about their life withoutjudgment is amazing.
You can see people light upwhen you start to ask them about
whatever they care about,right?
Like their DD group, right?
Or their wedding they went tolast Saturday, or pictures of
the kids on their desks, or justsharing little pieces of who we
(17:37):
are.
We don't have to knoweverything, but creating space
and time to know the human isthe number one thing.
Jess (17:43):
Before we start recording, you'd made a comment about how
you can be a best friend foryourself.
What is what does that mean toyou?
Ruby Vesley (17:50):
I love that you asked that question.
Thank you.
Very passionate about that.
Um, when we wrote this book andwe started thinking about,
well, how do I show up in theworld for others?
We very quickly realized thatthere's actually a whole nother
conversation that's equallyweighted of how do I actually
show up for myself so that Ihave the energy and the capacity
and the aliveness and thewillingness to actually invest
(18:14):
in other relationships.
As I think about this model,it's the same model, but it's
focused on self-care.
So the first one abundance andgenerosity.
Do you create space and timefor yourself?
Do you practice lavishself-care?
Some people, my buddy Eric'snever gonna practice lavish
self-care.
I'm like, that's fine, but canyou move it a centimeter over?
(18:35):
So it starts with space andtime for ourselves, which is the
one thing that a lot of us cutwhen we have all these things
going off and on in our personaland our professional lives,
it's the easiest thing to cutbecause we can control it.
The second one's connection andcompassion.
It's really checking in.
What am I feeling right now?
How has this week been?
(18:56):
What's working?
What's not?
If we just keep living ourlives above the fray and we
don't check in, we are probablyliving a life that's
unintentional.
We've got to create space andtime to connect with what are my
values right now?
What do I care about?
What's most important?
What needs to go?
Because if we don't, we'rekeeping commitments that maybe
(19:18):
aren't aligned with our valuesand what we care about.
Maybe we're in a marriagethat's not great, that we
haven't dealt with for 10 years,right?
If we don't slow down, if wedon't take the time and connect
and be compassionate withourselves, it's it's hard to
live the life we're longing for.
The next one's courage andvulnerability.
This is it's being willing toshow a little bit of what's
(19:39):
inside, letting the light show,let the cracks show a little
bit.
And the vulnerability for me isin taking risks that are based
on what you care about, yourvalues and your legacy and the
life you're longing for.
It's it's not ever easy to takebig risks, but it is a little
bit lighter if you know why thehell you're doing it and the
stake in the ground, right?
(20:01):
And why it's important to youversus doing something that's
really scary and you don't evenwant to do it in the first
place.
And then the fourth one iscandor and debate, which is kind
of funny with yourself, right?
It's like, why are we doingthis?
I don't know.
You're telling me.
Oh yeah, I don't know.
It's sort of like, why am Idoing this thing?
Do I have to do this thing?
Why am I making these stupidmuffins for this thing that I
(20:23):
don't really give a crap aboutanymore?
You know, those sort of things,really assessing the situation
and what stories am I tellingmyself?
Either imposter syndrome orwhat stories am I making up
about other people in my lives?
Is that true?
It's this questioning andwilling to do things differently
in some way.
And then the last one's actionand accountability, and that's
(20:45):
keeping your word to yourself.
But you can see how they allkind of start with abundance and
generosity, which is space andtime.
Claude (20:52):
And the result will give you the being the time to take
care of yourself, right?
The muffins or whatever.
If I don't do that, then I havetime to do whatever I love
doing.
Ruby Vesley (21:08):
And they're all connected.
And when we know what we careabout, when we know who we are,
when we're listening to aninside voice, in psychology,
they call it the capital S self.
In coaching, we call it theleader within or the wise one
inside.
When we're connected to thatand showing up in the world as
leaders, it's a way differentexperience, not only inside, but
(21:29):
for the people who are watchingus and dealing with us.
Jess (21:32):
It's like the putting your own oxygen mask on first.
You need to take care ofyourself before you really can,
in a social wellness way, takecare of others.
Looking at yourself in themirror as you're doing all of
these things.
Ruby Vesley (21:46):
Totally.
What am I experiencing and whatdo I need and what's different
today?
And even just taking stock forfive minutes before you jump on
a Zoom call, right?
Just taking that moment to geteverything out of your brain,
putting everything aside, takingsome deep breaths.
Like you've you've even justtuned in inside, which is going
(22:07):
to be very different thanhanging up the phone and
frantically going to the nextone or running to the bathroom,
or like it's um it just changeswhat it feels like.
And and you know what?
There's we can only do ourbest.
We do this other activity, wedo it in some of our workshops
and our keynotes, and we'll say,okay, tell me your number one
(22:27):
to 10.
So maybe you could tell me ifyou're you're willing to do it.
One is, and you can do it withyour hands if you want.
One is I have nothing today.
I didn't even want to get outof bed, and I am and 10 is like,
I'm cubing it.
I feel so good and I'm aliveand amazing.
So, what's your number today,do you think?
(22:47):
Just like a gut check-in.
Jess (22:50):
Listen, and Claude's face pretty much tells it all.
Um, I'm gonna go first becauseI actually took the day off.
And I actually got to get in along run, so it was a 10 for me
today.
I woke up super jazzed, andthere's a TV show that my
daughter loves.
We did the dance routine thismorning, and even she was like,
Well, this is the happiest I'veseen you in forever.
Claude (23:05):
So I would say I'm a five or six.
Ruby Vesley (23:08):
Yeah.
Claude (23:09):
Yeah, it was a semi-friday and I worked.
Ruby Vesley (23:11):
I'll do it too.
Vulnerability.
I would say I am probably uhseven or eight.
Jess (23:19):
Okay, that's good.
That's yeah.
Ruby Vesley (23:21):
I went to yoga and uh and I meditated this morning,
but I did these things inanticip in anticipation of
spending time with you.
So I was preparing my brain,and I knew that if I worked
until the moment I got on thiscall, that I wouldn't be able to
really be present and I mightshow up a little faky, and I
didn't want to do that.
(23:42):
Oh it's so it's payingattention, like getting ready
for what's coming.
Jess (23:48):
Yeah.
Ruby Vesley (23:49):
And and also where am I at right now?
And whatever your number is,that's your best.
If you're a two this morningand you go to bed at night and
you can reflect and say, okay,at a two, did I do my best?
You're good.
And you and you move on.
So it's like giving yourself alittle bit of grace as well.
Um, this is actually anactivity connecting it back to
(24:11):
building connection on yourteam.
This is something we do withwith our team.
We'll ask each other, what'syour number today?
We don't have to explain it.
It's a quick uh check-in so weknow how to show up for each
other differently.
If I know it's a three for you,I'm gonna ask the thing that I
need today.
Claude (24:28):
I love that that part because, for example, I say to
my team, what number are you?
And they'll be a three.
Do I then answer back, is thereanything that can help you to
elevate that number?
Ruby Vesley (24:39):
You have to use your eyes and your ears and your
intuition and in that situationand sort of feel it out,
depending on what you're tryingto accomplish as well.
My gut is that everyone gets tobe, and we get to be okay with
not having a good day.
And then if there's awork-related, like, hey, I know
today may not be feeling thegreatest.
Is there anything that youneed?
(25:00):
So it's I would say there's noreally hard and fast rule.
Definitely making it okay to bewhatever number you are.
So I'll give you an example ofhow we use this really quickly.
We had an off-site strategymeeting, and we're not usually
all in the same place at thesame time, it's very rare.
And we got together, and Ericwill tell you that he really
struggles with depression andanxiety.
(25:20):
And so he will wake upsometimes and not even know
what's gonna be there.
And we had this time set aside,and he came to our meeting and
he was kind of had his head inhis hands, and we're doing like
high-level strategy planning,intents where you need your
whole faculty to really even beinto it.
Uh, and he, and so Morag,brilliant, she was like, Eric,
(25:44):
what's your number?
And I think he said he was aone, and he kind of put his head
in his hands, and I'm like,There's no way we can do this.
We can't force him to do this.
We were actually at his house,and Morag's like, go take a nap.
And Morag and I were able toadjust.
We moved everything around andwe did our work.
He woke up like 45 minuteslater.
He was a two or three, but wehonored his experience.
(26:07):
We allowed him to choose if hewanted to come back.
It's a very different thingthan doing things we have to do.
We tell ourselves we have to dothings this way all the time,
and we don't.
So giving people a little bitof grace in that way.
Claude (26:20):
It's an incredible way for a leader to actually say to
someone, it's okay.
And it shows this empathy thatis so incredible that at the end
will make everybody work foryou, do even more because they
trust you, they allowed you tobe a one.
Jess (26:38):
Helping yourself as a work capacity for yourself.
If I come in as a one, no one'sgonna change me as a one.
Even if you don't have empathyfor me or not, I have to be able
to stand my ground and say Icannot do it today.
And I think that's also apowerful message, too.
This has been so lovely.
I feel like we've learned somuch.
(26:59):
We have one final reflection toshare with us one surprisingly
simple shift that anyone canmake to create more connection,
joy, and trust at work, even ifyou're not in a leadership role.
Ruby Vesley (27:12):
Um, one of the things that is really powerful
is when we reach out to someonejust to check on them when we
don't need something.
It doesn't have to be for 10minutes, it can be a quick slack
or a text or to let them knowthat you're thinking about them
outside of the work frame.
It's a way to build trust.
You have to be careful though,because the first time you do
(27:34):
it, everyone's gonna be like,Why are they calling me on a
phone?
And then self-care.
When do you gotta turn off yourphone?
You've gotta turn off yourlaptop, and you've gotta really
be present.
Really, all that others needfrom you is being being present.
I like it.
Claude (27:52):
Thank you, Ruby.
This conversation was likeexactly what we needed.
It's a reminder that connectionis a strategy, but not a set
effect, and it's also somethingthat has to come naturally.
If this resonated, share itwith your team or your work
(28:13):
bestie.
Yes.
Ruby, tell us how everyone canreach you.
Ruby Vesley (28:16):
You can have me on LinkedIn and more aggregate as
well.
Um, our website is skyteam.comand it's spelled SK Team, like
the Isle of Sky.
Thank you, Scooby.
Thank you for having me.
Jess (28:30):
Remember, whether you're swapping snacks in the break
room, rescuing each other fromendless meetings, or just
sending that perfectly timedmeme.
Having a work bestie is likehaving your own personal hype
squad.
Claude (28:43):
So keep lifting each other up, laughing through the
chaos, and of course, thriving.
Until next time, stay positive,stay productive, and don't
forget to keep supporting eachother.
Jess (28:56):
Work besties!
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