November 4, 2025 • 26 mins
If you’ve ever walked out of a session wondering, “Was that good enough?” — this one’s for you.
I’m naming a sneaky burnout loop that traps a lot of high-achieving SLPs: the cycle of over-delivering and over-functioning just to feel effective. We’ll unpack why that urge to “do more” is quietly draining your energy, confidence, and joy — and how to define what enough actually means in your sessions and your life.
By the end, you’ll see that the value isn’t in the extra few minutes or the perfectly prepped materials. It’s in how you show up — and what you choose to believe about your work and your worth.
What You’ll Learn:
- How the “good enough” trap creates a burnout loop for high-achieving SLPs
- Why tying your worth to client outcomes keeps you stuck in over-functioning mode
- The sneaky ways “doing more” shows up in your day — and how to catch it sooner
- A mindset shift to stop delegating your self-worth to your caseload or clients
- What it looks like to end a session on time and feel good about it
If this hit a nerve (in the best way), I’d love to help you explore what enough looks like for you.
Book a free 1:1 consult, and we’ll talk through how to quiet that “do more” voice and build a version of balance that actually feels good.
📌 Book a free 1:1 consult
👥 Join the FB Group → SLP Support Group
Keywords: SLP burnout, high achiever SLP, people-pleasing therapist, ADHD and burnout, speech therapy boundaries, redefining enough, executive functioning coaching, productivity for SLPs
Progress over perfection, always.
💥 Psst!! I'm hosting a free webinar and I want you there! Join me on Tuesday 12/16/2025 at 8 PM ET for Work-Life Balance for SLPs With ADHD. Get the details here.
To find out how I can help you improve your work-life balance, click here.
Come join the SLP Support Group on Facebook for more tips and tricks!
Learn more about Theresa Harp Coaching here.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
theresa-harp_2_11-03-2025_ (00:27):
Hey, SLPs, welcome back to the
podcast.
This is episode 1 24.
All right, if you have everwalked out of a session
wondering, was that good enough?
Then this episode is for youbecause I'm gonna be naming a
very sneaky burnout loop that alot of high achieving SLPs fall
(00:51):
into a lot of the time.
It's this urge to overdeliverover function in order to feel
effective, effective as an SLPor a pt, ot, however you
identify a business owner.
You know, I'm talking about thisin the context of a clinician,
(01:13):
but honestly, this informationis relevant regardless of what
role we're talking about.
Heck, this can even apply tobeing a mom.
A hundred percent okay.
And this is quietly sneakilydraining your time.
It's draining your energy, it'sdraining your confidence.
(01:35):
It's draining your possibilityof work-life balance, or your
definition, your vision, yourversion of work-life balance.
So stay with me today.
You'll leave this episode.
Understanding what is happening,this pattern, what's going on,
how it is costing you, and mostimportantly, what you can do
(01:58):
about it.
Alright, so let's say who's everbeen here?
I'm raising my hand.
You can't see me as I'mrecording this, but I'm raising
my hand, right?
You stay eight minutes past asession, right?
Eight minutes past the end of asession because you wanted to
get data on one more goal, whatyou wanted to hit one more
(02:21):
target area or because theclient was.
Finally on a roll, understandingsomething or demonstrating
something, building this skill,getting their sound, you know,
um, improving their soundproductions or starting to
demonstrate this languagestructure that they've been
working on for so long, andyou're like, oh, we gotta
(02:41):
capitalize on this.
Let's keep going.
Right?
And then you miss lunch.
Or you miss out on yourdocumentation time or you're now
late for the next session andplaying catch up.
Right.
But it felt worth it, right?
It was worth it.
Or was it?
(03:01):
Okay.
So I want you to think about oneof your quote unquote best
therapy sessions and askyourself what made it feel that
way?
What was it about that sessionthat your brain.
Is using as proof that it was agood or the best, one of the
(03:25):
best sessions.
Okay, because here are some ofthe ways.
This will show up.
This can look like not juststaying late in a session.
Okay?
Some of you may be right on timewith all of your sessions.
If you are amazing, you're aunicorn, how do you do it?
Let us know.
(03:45):
We need to know.
Okay?
But this isn't just about.
Going over the time in asession.
This is staying late at work.
Just to finish one more thing,or it could be skipping your
documentation time to prep for asession or research a topic just
to learn one more idea or onemore thing, or have one bit.
(04:09):
You know of a more, a betterunderstanding of what's going on
with your client or how you canhelp them.
This might be over preppingmaterials for sessions.
You know that your client lovesPaw Patrol, and so you are down
a rabbit hole trying to find allthe PAW Patrol materials and
crafts and ideas that you canimplement in your session with
(04:30):
that client.
This might be creating thesejazzy visuals, these beautiful
homework sheets or handouts thatyou can give to your client or
to your clients' caregivers thatare gonna really help them
master the skill that you'retargeting in your sessions.
This might be coaching orcounseling caregivers
(04:53):
emotionally.
Just as much, if not more, asclinically and bending the rules
or bending your boundaries tosupport the caregivers because
they need you.
Right.
This might look like in asession feeling every minute of
that session to make thatsession worthwhile.
(05:14):
Alright, well, I've spent, I'vealready spent five minutes
catching up with this client andoh my gosh, the clock is
ticking.
We gotta get it in, we gotta getinto these trials, we gotta get
going, we gotta get data, wegotta going, what are we doing?
Right?
It's when we get in thesepatterns and we all do it, and
it is perfectly human.
It's perfectly human.
I want you to understand that.
(05:35):
Okay.
Nothing has necessarily gonewrong here.
There's nothing wrong with you.
Congratulations.
You care.
You're a great therapist, you'rea great private practice owner.
You're a great, uh, businessowner.
You're a great supervisor.
You're a great mom because youcare.
(05:59):
Okay.
It's about caring, but whathappens is that in our mind,
this becomes a way to prove thatwe are good at what we are
doing.
It's about us proving that we'vedone enough, right?
Because so many of us.
(06:20):
Regardless of what role we'retalking about here, whether it's
your role as an SLP or as aparent or as a, uh, you know,
grown adult, caring for elderlyparents or as a mom or whatever,
you fill in the blank.
But in that role, we tie ourself-worth.
To the perceived success of thatscenario, like in this case, I'm
(06:46):
talking about sessions,intervention sessions.
Okay.
Treatment sessions.
We tie our self-worth as SLPs tothis perceived success of the
session.
The problem though is that we'rechasing this invisible goalpost.
(07:07):
Called enough.
You are trying to hit a targetthat does not exist.
It doesn't exist for yourclients.
It doesn't exist for yoursupervisor or your boss.
It doesn't exist for you.
Right?
Because enough, and I'm usingair quotes here, but enough is
vague.
So we have this like.
(07:29):
Thought in our head, and itcomes in all different versions.
Okay?
All different flavors.
So yours may sound a little bitdifferent or feel a little bit
different than this, but hereare some ways that this thought
might show up.
It might show up as, Ooh, thatsession was not good enough.
(07:49):
Oh man.
We didn't get enough done inthat session.
Oh, I don't think we got enoughtrials.
I didn't get enough data.
Oh, my data was not good enough.
It wasn't accurate enough and Idefinitely missed some of the,
of the sections of the sessionwhere I should have been
collecting data, but I wasn't,or I was collecting it, but I'm
pretty sure that I was a littlebit hairy in terms of the
(08:10):
queuing that I was providing.
Oh my gosh, we didn't get tothis.
We were supposed to target thisin the session.
I didn't even get there.
It's not enough.
Right.
But enough is vague and not onlyis it vague, it's emotionally
driven, right?
(08:31):
Because we're getting ourselvesworked up about this and it's
constantly shifting.
We are not defining enough.
There is no clear definition ofwhat enough is, so we're telling
ourselves that it wasn't goodenough, but we don't even know
what enough is.
(08:53):
We don't know what good enoughlooks like.
We're not defining it, we, it'sjust like a feeling.
It's this very cloudy, murky,undefined, intangible vision.
And when a session feels flat ora session feels rushed, or a
(09:14):
session feels like you weren'tquite connecting or getting in a
rhythm, or the client wasn'tdoing what they were supposed to
be doing, right, they, they'renot going along with the plan
that you've come up with.
The internal narrative that wehave becomes, I didn't do
enough, or that wasn't goodenough, and here is the problem.
(09:37):
I told you that this is, thatnothing has gone wrong.
Right?
And And that's true.
Like this is just a humantendency.
This is an SLP tendency.
Okay?
But here's where it leads.
We then start over functioning,right?
Like I told you before, theexample of you stay past the end
(09:59):
of the session to try and get alittle bit more data.
Or to end on a good note, right?
We start over-functioning, andwhile we're over-functioning
internally, we're questioningand doubting our ability and the
(10:20):
results that our clients aregetting, which then leads to
this pattern of burnout becausewe're like, go, go, go, do, do,
do.
I gotta do better.
I gotta work harder, I gotta getmore in.
And now you are burning thecandle at both ends.
You're exhausted, you'restarting to then feel resentful
(10:41):
because, oh my gosh, I am givingeverything I can to this job.
I'm giving, I'm putting all ofmy energy and I'm doing
everything I possibly can toshow up as a, as the best SLPI
can be, and my kids are gettingthe leftovers, the scraps, my
husband.
My partner, whoever is gettinglike the worst parts of me, my
(11:02):
house is falling apart, myrelationships are struggling.
I haven't had time for, youknow, uh, I don't know, a, a
night off or a visit with myfriends or lunch or just time to
sit and read a book in ages.
Oh my gosh, I feel so resentful.
Right.
Now you might not have thosethoughts.
(11:23):
Exactly.
You might not even, this mightbe happening and showing up for
you, and you might not evenrealize that that's what's
happening.
But over-functioning leads tothe burnout, leads to
resentment, leads to then guilt.
Oh God, I'm a terrible SLP.
Here I am, like talking abouthow awful I feel and, and hating
(11:46):
my role as an SLP.
Because of what it's costing mein my other areas.
Oh my gosh, that's terrible.
No, this is my job.
This is what I have to do.
Come on.
Right.
And then repeat.
So we're back in this cycle, buthere's what I want you to ask
yourself.
And in fact, this is what I'veasked myself in coaching
(12:11):
sessions.
Okay.
Or.
Between coaching sessions as acoach, this is what I have
wrestled with and worked on iswhat if it's not your job to
make the session valuable?
What if it's not your job tomake this session feel valuable?
(12:32):
What if your job is just tocreate the environment?
Create the space where the valuecan emerge and trust that the
client or the caregiver willmeet you.
There you are not valuablebecause you go above and beyond.
(12:53):
I'm sorry if that's hard tohear.
I, I, it might be hard to hear,but going above and beyond is
not what makes you valuable.
You are valuable because you areyou.
You are naturally creative,resourceful, and whole.
You are inherently valuable.
You have to believe that inorder for this to work, and
(13:18):
that's what I do in coachingsessions sometimes.
That's where we focus.
That's where the work.
Happens is on recognizing yourinner self-worth your own
inherent value, right?
Because if we don't have that,if you don't have that, you will
be constantly trying tooverperform over, deliver,
(13:38):
outperform, do whatever you canto create that feeling of value
for yourself, but you're justdelegating value, your value,
your self-worth to external.
Circumstances to people andthings outside of you, you're
delegating your self-worth tosomebody else, and that will
(14:00):
never work.
That will never work.
Okay, so I want you to know thatit's not the progress that a
client makes or the number oftrials that you get in a session
that create a valuable session.
You're valuable because youshowed up.
(14:21):
As you as yourself, right?
And you showed up and you werethere and you were present and
you brought your expertise tothe table.
It doesn't need to be wrapped upin pretty, you know, ribbons and
bows and bells and whistles.
It can just be you.
(14:44):
So here's what I want you to.
Shift.
This is something that we workon in coaching, is reframing
your definition of enough,because like I said earlier, we
really don't have a definitionof what enough is.
I told you it's subjective.
I told you it's murky.
I told you it's emotional and itoften shifts, right?
(15:07):
Like one day your definition ofenough might look like this, and
then the next session, yourdefinitive definition of enough.
Might look like something else.
And so when we don't have a veryclear definition of what enough
is, we're constantly trying tohit a target that we have no
(15:27):
idea where that target is.
So you get to decide what enoughis, and.
As a coach, I will help myclients determine this.
Sometimes we want, again, todefine enough as something
that's external, right?
We wanna define enough as numberof trials in a session, or we
(15:51):
wanna define enough as, uh, youknow, amount of progress a
client makes over time.
And we use those results to.
Determine whether or not we'vedone enough as clinicians.
But again, when you do that,you're delegating your value to
people and things outside ofyour control.
(16:14):
So I challenge you to reframewhat your definition of enough
is.
Here's an example for you.
You could say that enough, isthat I showed up enough, is that
I showed up.
Enough might be that I showed upand I used my clinical judgment.
(16:36):
I showed up as the, you know, asthe clinician who was present
and who was effective and showedup in that time constraint.
Staying past the end of thesession doesn't make.
(16:58):
The session better.
Staying past the session doesn'tadd more value to the session.
You honor your time boundaries.
You do your job and you are veryclear on what is your
responsibility as a clinicianand what is your client's
(17:21):
responsibility as your client.
Okay, so here are some sort of.
Mantras, if you will, oraffirmations, whatever you wanna
call them.
I like to call them intentionalthoughts, so.
In coaching, we do a lot ofthought work.
We look at the inner thoughtsthat are happening.
Sometimes you're very aware ofthem, sometimes they're very,
(17:42):
um, sort of subconscious orsneaky that you don't even
realize that they're, thatthey're there and getting in the
way.
So here are some intentionalthoughts that you could choose.
I'm just throwing a couple ideasout there.
You have to figure out whatworks for you.
That's what I do with mycoaching clients is figure out
intentional thoughts that feel.
That feel like, okay, we trythem on and it fits.
(18:04):
It fits good enough for now.
Like I could, I could choosethis thought and I could work on
it, and it feels like it's not ahuge stretch from where I am
right now.
So, couple of intentionalthoughts.
The value is not all on me.
The value is not all on me.
Here I'm laughing because here'san intentional thought.
Sometimes I get myself introuble when I'm, I'm a little
(18:26):
bit, um, frank.
When I talk, when I say things,and I don't mean this to be
offensive, but this thought wasvery helpful for me as an SLP,
it is speech therapy, notchemotherapy like.
Honestly, that is what I had totell myself for a very long
time.
We are doing speech therapy, notchemotherapy.
It's okay to miss a sessionbecause I, I would put so much
(18:47):
pressure on myself.
Right.
Another intentional thought.
I create the container, but Idon't have to pack it to the
brim.
Okay.
Other questions that you can doto sort of help you figure out
when this is happening and whatyou can do?
(19:11):
Like what you can do about it,um, just to sort of check in
with yourself in the momentmight be questions like, would I
still be doing this if I alreadybelieved?
That I was good at my job, orwould I still be doing this in
the session if I alreadybelieved that the session was
(19:32):
effective enough?
Good enough, right?
What does enough look likebefore the session starts?
If you're really fixated on, no,Theresa, like that's not true.
There really is a cleardefinition of what makes a good
SLP and what makes a goodsession, and you feel really
strongly about that.
(19:52):
I would challenge you on that incoaching, but if you did feel
like that, that were true foryou, right?
So then ask yourself before thesession starts, what does enough
look like?
What does enough look like inthis session?
What would it feel like to endon time and trust that it's
(20:13):
okay?
What would it look like tostart.
End.
End on time and know that it wasokay.
All right, so when we do this,when we start making these
(20:36):
shifts, here is what ispossible.
You start to leave work on timeand actually feel good about it.
You can leave work on time andfeel guilt free.
Like, okay, I'm out.
Here we go.
(20:57):
Okay.
You can start your day when youget to work.
Feeling grounded, feeling safe,feeling emotionally regulated,
not feeling like you have toprove yourself for the next
eight hours when you stopchasing enough.
You trust your clinical judgmentand you focus on your clinical
(21:20):
judgment instead of secondguessing or playing Monday
morning quarterback, right?
You have enough energy for yourlife, for your personal life,
for the things that fill you up,for the things that you love and
enjoy that add value.
To your life.
(21:41):
You have energy left for yourkids.
You have energy left for you,for your, your goals, your
personal goals, your health,your physical health, your
mental health, your emotionalhealth, your spiritual health.
The relationships around youstart to improve.
Your more present.
(22:02):
You are more focused.
You stop spiraling over every.
Me session, like me, I was allright, or, oh, it's a total SHIT
show, right?
You stop spiraling over that andyou start noticing the wins and
tracking that progress andfocusing on the growth.
(22:24):
The growth for your clients, thegrowth for you.
For the people in your life andaround you, right?
You start to feel proud.
You start to feel valuable.
You start to feel competentinstead of panicked,
insufficient, inadequate.
You can leave the, at the end ofthe week knowing that it was a
(22:48):
job well done.
Now I'm going and I'm focusingon these other areas of my life
because my role as an SLP is notall of me.
Whew.
Okay.
I wanna also offer that if thishit home for you, if this is
(23:10):
hitting a nerve, if you're like,yes, I understand what you're
saying, Theresa, but I don'tknow how to actually create
that.
Like I don't know how toactually.
Build that skill.
I don't know how to determineand feel that enough is enough
and that it looks like this andthat.
(23:31):
I make it a reality.
Then send me a message.
There's always a link in theshow notes to schedule a free
consult.
Right?
We could talk through what doesenough look like for you.
And what shifts for you when youdefine that, right?
What's possible when you knowwhat's enough and you start
(23:53):
operating from that place?
I can tell you this, there's alot less sleepless nights.
There's a lot less of the 3:00AM wake up that happen where
you're panicked about, oh mygosh, that client is just not.
Progressing.
What am I doing wrong?
What am I not seeing?
Oh my gosh, I'm a terrible SLP,right?
(24:16):
That's the kind of stuff we getto do in coaching.
That's the stuff that's possibleto shift when you do this work.
It is not easy.
It is not something that I canjust give you, right?
I told you this is work that Ihave done with myself as a
coach, making sure that I'm nottaking responsibility for my
client's results.
(24:37):
I say this with the utmost love,support and respect for my
clients.
And what I have learned is thatwhen I show up as the coach, not
as the one who bears theresponsibility for the client's
success, I can deliver at a muchhigher level.
(24:59):
It keeps my clients in a placeof, you know, uh, value.
Competence, possibility.
It keeps them as the one who isresponsible or them as the ones
who are responsible for theirresults, right?
(25:19):
I told you, you are naturallycreative, resourceful, and
whole.
You are inherently valuable.
Same goes for my coachingclients.
Same goes for your speechclients.
Okay.
Reach out if you need anysupport.
I'm happy to help you.
I'd love to hear your thoughtsabout this episode.
Pop into the uh, SLP supportgroup on Facebook where we can
continue the conversation, and Iwill see you all next week.
(25:42):
I.
Hey, SLPs, welcome back to the
podcast.
This is episode 1 24.
All right, if you have everwalked out of a session
wondering, was that good enough?
Then this episode is for youbecause I'm gonna be naming a
very sneaky burnout loop that alot of high achieving SLPs fall
(00:51):
into a lot of the time.
It's this urge to overdeliverover function in order to feel
effective, effective as an SLPor a pt, ot, however you
identify a business owner.
You know, I'm talking about thisin the context of a clinician,
(01:13):
but honestly, this informationis relevant regardless of what
role we're talking about.
Heck, this can even apply tobeing a mom.
A hundred percent okay.
And this is quietly sneakilydraining your time.
It's draining your energy, it'sdraining your confidence.
(01:35):
It's draining your possibilityof work-life balance, or your
definition, your vision, yourversion of work-life balance.
So stay with me today.
You'll leave this episode.
Understanding what is happening,this pattern, what's going on,
how it is costing you, and mostimportantly, what you can do
(01:58):
about it.
Alright, so let's say who's everbeen here?
I'm raising my hand.
You can't see me as I'mrecording this, but I'm raising
my hand, right?
You stay eight minutes past asession, right?
Eight minutes past the end of asession because you wanted to
get data on one more goal, whatyou wanted to hit one more
(02:21):
target area or because theclient was.
Finally on a roll, understandingsomething or demonstrating
something, building this skill,getting their sound, you know,
um, improving their soundproductions or starting to
demonstrate this languagestructure that they've been
working on for so long, andyou're like, oh, we gotta
(02:41):
capitalize on this.
Let's keep going.
Right?
And then you miss lunch.
Or you miss out on yourdocumentation time or you're now
late for the next session andplaying catch up.
Right.
But it felt worth it, right?
It was worth it.
Or was it?
(03:01):
Okay.
So I want you to think about oneof your quote unquote best
therapy sessions and askyourself what made it feel that
way?
What was it about that sessionthat your brain.
Is using as proof that it was agood or the best, one of the
(03:25):
best sessions.
Okay, because here are some ofthe ways.
This will show up.
This can look like not juststaying late in a session.
Okay?
Some of you may be right on timewith all of your sessions.
If you are amazing, you're aunicorn, how do you do it?
Let us know.
(03:45):
We need to know.
Okay?
But this isn't just about.
Going over the time in asession.
This is staying late at work.
Just to finish one more thing,or it could be skipping your
documentation time to prep for asession or research a topic just
to learn one more idea or onemore thing, or have one bit.
(04:09):
You know of a more, a betterunderstanding of what's going on
with your client or how you canhelp them.
This might be over preppingmaterials for sessions.
You know that your client lovesPaw Patrol, and so you are down
a rabbit hole trying to find allthe PAW Patrol materials and
crafts and ideas that you canimplement in your session with
(04:30):
that client.
This might be creating thesejazzy visuals, these beautiful
homework sheets or handouts thatyou can give to your client or
to your clients' caregivers thatare gonna really help them
master the skill that you'retargeting in your sessions.
This might be coaching orcounseling caregivers
(04:53):
emotionally.
Just as much, if not more, asclinically and bending the rules
or bending your boundaries tosupport the caregivers because
they need you.
Right.
This might look like in asession feeling every minute of
that session to make thatsession worthwhile.
(05:14):
Alright, well, I've spent, I'vealready spent five minutes
catching up with this client andoh my gosh, the clock is
ticking.
We gotta get it in, we gotta getinto these trials, we gotta get
going, we gotta get data, wegotta going, what are we doing?
Right?
It's when we get in thesepatterns and we all do it, and
it is perfectly human.
It's perfectly human.
I want you to understand that.
(05:35):
Okay.
Nothing has necessarily gonewrong here.
There's nothing wrong with you.
Congratulations.
You care.
You're a great therapist, you'rea great private practice owner.
You're a great, uh, businessowner.
You're a great supervisor.
You're a great mom because youcare.
(05:59):
Okay.
It's about caring, but whathappens is that in our mind,
this becomes a way to prove thatwe are good at what we are
doing.
It's about us proving that we'vedone enough, right?
Because so many of us.
(06:20):
Regardless of what role we'retalking about here, whether it's
your role as an SLP or as aparent or as a, uh, you know,
grown adult, caring for elderlyparents or as a mom or whatever,
you fill in the blank.
But in that role, we tie ourself-worth.
To the perceived success of thatscenario, like in this case, I'm
(06:46):
talking about sessions,intervention sessions.
Okay.
Treatment sessions.
We tie our self-worth as SLPs tothis perceived success of the
session.
The problem though is that we'rechasing this invisible goalpost.
(07:07):
Called enough.
You are trying to hit a targetthat does not exist.
It doesn't exist for yourclients.
It doesn't exist for yoursupervisor or your boss.
It doesn't exist for you.
Right?
Because enough, and I'm usingair quotes here, but enough is
vague.
So we have this like.
(07:29):
Thought in our head, and itcomes in all different versions.
Okay?
All different flavors.
So yours may sound a little bitdifferent or feel a little bit
different than this, but hereare some ways that this thought
might show up.
It might show up as, Ooh, thatsession was not good enough.
(07:49):
Oh man.
We didn't get enough done inthat session.
Oh, I don't think we got enoughtrials.
I didn't get enough data.
Oh, my data was not good enough.
It wasn't accurate enough and Idefinitely missed some of the,
of the sections of the sessionwhere I should have been
collecting data, but I wasn't,or I was collecting it, but I'm
pretty sure that I was a littlebit hairy in terms of the
(08:10):
queuing that I was providing.
Oh my gosh, we didn't get tothis.
We were supposed to target thisin the session.
I didn't even get there.
It's not enough.
Right.
But enough is vague and not onlyis it vague, it's emotionally
driven, right?
(08:31):
Because we're getting ourselvesworked up about this and it's
constantly shifting.
We are not defining enough.
There is no clear definition ofwhat enough is, so we're telling
ourselves that it wasn't goodenough, but we don't even know
what enough is.
(08:53):
We don't know what good enoughlooks like.
We're not defining it, we, it'sjust like a feeling.
It's this very cloudy, murky,undefined, intangible vision.
And when a session feels flat ora session feels rushed, or a
(09:14):
session feels like you weren'tquite connecting or getting in a
rhythm, or the client wasn'tdoing what they were supposed to
be doing, right, they, they'renot going along with the plan
that you've come up with.
The internal narrative that wehave becomes, I didn't do
enough, or that wasn't goodenough, and here is the problem.
(09:37):
I told you that this is, thatnothing has gone wrong.
Right?
And And that's true.
Like this is just a humantendency.
This is an SLP tendency.
Okay?
But here's where it leads.
We then start over functioning,right?
Like I told you before, theexample of you stay past the end
(09:59):
of the session to try and get alittle bit more data.
Or to end on a good note, right?
We start over-functioning, andwhile we're over-functioning
internally, we're questioningand doubting our ability and the
(10:20):
results that our clients aregetting, which then leads to
this pattern of burnout becausewe're like, go, go, go, do, do,
do.
I gotta do better.
I gotta work harder, I gotta getmore in.
And now you are burning thecandle at both ends.
You're exhausted, you'restarting to then feel resentful
(10:41):
because, oh my gosh, I am givingeverything I can to this job.
I'm giving, I'm putting all ofmy energy and I'm doing
everything I possibly can toshow up as a, as the best SLPI
can be, and my kids are gettingthe leftovers, the scraps, my
husband.
My partner, whoever is gettinglike the worst parts of me, my
(11:02):
house is falling apart, myrelationships are struggling.
I haven't had time for, youknow, uh, I don't know, a, a
night off or a visit with myfriends or lunch or just time to
sit and read a book in ages.
Oh my gosh, I feel so resentful.
Right.
Now you might not have thosethoughts.
(11:23):
Exactly.
You might not even, this mightbe happening and showing up for
you, and you might not evenrealize that that's what's
happening.
But over-functioning leads tothe burnout, leads to
resentment, leads to then guilt.
Oh God, I'm a terrible SLP.
Here I am, like talking abouthow awful I feel and, and hating
(11:46):
my role as an SLP.
Because of what it's costing mein my other areas.
Oh my gosh, that's terrible.
No, this is my job.
This is what I have to do.
Come on.
Right.
And then repeat.
So we're back in this cycle, buthere's what I want you to ask
yourself.
And in fact, this is what I'veasked myself in coaching
(12:11):
sessions.
Okay.
Or.
Between coaching sessions as acoach, this is what I have
wrestled with and worked on iswhat if it's not your job to
make the session valuable?
What if it's not your job tomake this session feel valuable?
(12:32):
What if your job is just tocreate the environment?
Create the space where the valuecan emerge and trust that the
client or the caregiver willmeet you.
There you are not valuablebecause you go above and beyond.
(12:53):
I'm sorry if that's hard tohear.
I, I, it might be hard to hear,but going above and beyond is
not what makes you valuable.
You are valuable because you areyou.
You are naturally creative,resourceful, and whole.
You are inherently valuable.
You have to believe that inorder for this to work, and
(13:18):
that's what I do in coachingsessions sometimes.
That's where we focus.
That's where the work.
Happens is on recognizing yourinner self-worth your own
inherent value, right?
Because if we don't have that,if you don't have that, you will
be constantly trying tooverperform over, deliver,
(13:38):
outperform, do whatever you canto create that feeling of value
for yourself, but you're justdelegating value, your value,
your self-worth to external.
Circumstances to people andthings outside of you, you're
delegating your self-worth tosomebody else, and that will
(14:00):
never work.
That will never work.
Okay, so I want you to know thatit's not the progress that a
client makes or the number oftrials that you get in a session
that create a valuable session.
You're valuable because youshowed up.
(14:21):
As you as yourself, right?
And you showed up and you werethere and you were present and
you brought your expertise tothe table.
It doesn't need to be wrapped upin pretty, you know, ribbons and
bows and bells and whistles.
It can just be you.
(14:44):
So here's what I want you to.
Shift.
This is something that we workon in coaching, is reframing
your definition of enough,because like I said earlier, we
really don't have a definitionof what enough is.
I told you it's subjective.
I told you it's murky.
I told you it's emotional and itoften shifts, right?
(15:07):
Like one day your definition ofenough might look like this, and
then the next session, yourdefinitive definition of enough.
Might look like something else.
And so when we don't have a veryclear definition of what enough
is, we're constantly trying tohit a target that we have no
(15:27):
idea where that target is.
So you get to decide what enoughis, and.
As a coach, I will help myclients determine this.
Sometimes we want, again, todefine enough as something
that's external, right?
We wanna define enough as numberof trials in a session, or we
(15:51):
wanna define enough as, uh, youknow, amount of progress a
client makes over time.
And we use those results to.
Determine whether or not we'vedone enough as clinicians.
But again, when you do that,you're delegating your value to
people and things outside ofyour control.
(16:14):
So I challenge you to reframewhat your definition of enough
is.
Here's an example for you.
You could say that enough, isthat I showed up enough, is that
I showed up.
Enough might be that I showed upand I used my clinical judgment.
(16:36):
I showed up as the, you know, asthe clinician who was present
and who was effective and showedup in that time constraint.
Staying past the end of thesession doesn't make.
(16:58):
The session better.
Staying past the session doesn'tadd more value to the session.
You honor your time boundaries.
You do your job and you are veryclear on what is your
responsibility as a clinicianand what is your client's
(17:21):
responsibility as your client.
Okay, so here are some sort of.
Mantras, if you will, oraffirmations, whatever you wanna
call them.
I like to call them intentionalthoughts, so.
In coaching, we do a lot ofthought work.
We look at the inner thoughtsthat are happening.
Sometimes you're very aware ofthem, sometimes they're very,
(17:42):
um, sort of subconscious orsneaky that you don't even
realize that they're, thatthey're there and getting in the
way.
So here are some intentionalthoughts that you could choose.
I'm just throwing a couple ideasout there.
You have to figure out whatworks for you.
That's what I do with mycoaching clients is figure out
intentional thoughts that feel.
That feel like, okay, we trythem on and it fits.
(18:04):
It fits good enough for now.
Like I could, I could choosethis thought and I could work on
it, and it feels like it's not ahuge stretch from where I am
right now.
So, couple of intentionalthoughts.
The value is not all on me.
The value is not all on me.
Here I'm laughing because here'san intentional thought.
Sometimes I get myself introuble when I'm, I'm a little
(18:26):
bit, um, frank.
When I talk, when I say things,and I don't mean this to be
offensive, but this thought wasvery helpful for me as an SLP,
it is speech therapy, notchemotherapy like.
Honestly, that is what I had totell myself for a very long
time.
We are doing speech therapy, notchemotherapy.
It's okay to miss a sessionbecause I, I would put so much
(18:47):
pressure on myself.
Right.
Another intentional thought.
I create the container, but Idon't have to pack it to the
brim.
Okay.
Other questions that you can doto sort of help you figure out
when this is happening and whatyou can do?
(19:11):
Like what you can do about it,um, just to sort of check in
with yourself in the momentmight be questions like, would I
still be doing this if I alreadybelieved?
That I was good at my job, orwould I still be doing this in
the session if I alreadybelieved that the session was
(19:32):
effective enough?
Good enough, right?
What does enough look likebefore the session starts?
If you're really fixated on, no,Theresa, like that's not true.
There really is a cleardefinition of what makes a good
SLP and what makes a goodsession, and you feel really
strongly about that.
(19:52):
I would challenge you on that incoaching, but if you did feel
like that, that were true foryou, right?
So then ask yourself before thesession starts, what does enough
look like?
What does enough look like inthis session?
What would it feel like to endon time and trust that it's
(20:13):
okay?
What would it look like tostart.
End.
End on time and know that it wasokay.
All right, so when we do this,when we start making these
(20:36):
shifts, here is what ispossible.
You start to leave work on timeand actually feel good about it.
You can leave work on time andfeel guilt free.
Like, okay, I'm out.
Here we go.
(20:57):
Okay.
You can start your day when youget to work.
Feeling grounded, feeling safe,feeling emotionally regulated,
not feeling like you have toprove yourself for the next
eight hours when you stopchasing enough.
You trust your clinical judgmentand you focus on your clinical
(21:20):
judgment instead of secondguessing or playing Monday
morning quarterback, right?
You have enough energy for yourlife, for your personal life,
for the things that fill you up,for the things that you love and
enjoy that add value.
To your life.
(21:41):
You have energy left for yourkids.
You have energy left for you,for your, your goals, your
personal goals, your health,your physical health, your
mental health, your emotionalhealth, your spiritual health.
The relationships around youstart to improve.
Your more present.
(22:02):
You are more focused.
You stop spiraling over every.
Me session, like me, I was allright, or, oh, it's a total SHIT
show, right?
You stop spiraling over that andyou start noticing the wins and
tracking that progress andfocusing on the growth.
(22:24):
The growth for your clients, thegrowth for you.
For the people in your life andaround you, right?
You start to feel proud.
You start to feel valuable.
You start to feel competentinstead of panicked,
insufficient, inadequate.
You can leave the, at the end ofthe week knowing that it was a
(22:48):
job well done.
Now I'm going and I'm focusingon these other areas of my life
because my role as an SLP is notall of me.
Whew.
Okay.
I wanna also offer that if thishit home for you, if this is
(23:10):
hitting a nerve, if you're like,yes, I understand what you're
saying, Theresa, but I don'tknow how to actually create
that.
Like I don't know how toactually.
Build that skill.
I don't know how to determineand feel that enough is enough
and that it looks like this andthat.
(23:31):
I make it a reality.
Then send me a message.
There's always a link in theshow notes to schedule a free
consult.
Right?
We could talk through what doesenough look like for you.
And what shifts for you when youdefine that, right?
What's possible when you knowwhat's enough and you start
(23:53):
operating from that place?
I can tell you this, there's alot less sleepless nights.
There's a lot less of the 3:00AM wake up that happen where
you're panicked about, oh mygosh, that client is just not.
Progressing.
What am I doing wrong?
What am I not seeing?
Oh my gosh, I'm a terrible SLP,right?
(24:16):
That's the kind of stuff we getto do in coaching.
That's the stuff that's possibleto shift when you do this work.
It is not easy.
It is not something that I canjust give you, right?
I told you this is work that Ihave done with myself as a
coach, making sure that I'm nottaking responsibility for my
client's results.
(24:37):
I say this with the utmost love,support and respect for my
clients.
And what I have learned is thatwhen I show up as the coach, not
as the one who bears theresponsibility for the client's
success, I can deliver at a muchhigher level.
(24:59):
It keeps my clients in a placeof, you know, uh, value.
Competence, possibility.
It keeps them as the one who isresponsible or them as the ones
who are responsible for theirresults, right?
(25:19):
I told you, you are naturallycreative, resourceful, and
whole.
You are inherently valuable.
Same goes for my coachingclients.
Same goes for your speechclients.
Okay.
Reach out if you need anysupport.
I'm happy to help you.
I'd love to hear your thoughtsabout this episode.
Pop into the uh, SLP supportgroup on Facebook where we can
continue the conversation, and Iwill see you all next week.
(25:42):
I.
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