125. The Real Cost of Staying Stuck

We all have something in our lives that isn’t working...something that feels heavier than we'd like it to. And when you’ve been stuck there long enough, it starts to feel normal. In this off-the-cuff episode, I’m unpacking what it really costs to stay in that stuck place and how to start bridging the gap between awareness and action. (Spoiler: the first step is smaller than you think.)

What You’ll Learn

• How to tell the difference between simple annoyances and true friction
• Why we often know what’s not working but still don’t take action
• The real energetic cost of staying stuck
• What it looks like to “micro-gap” change and move forward one small step at a time
• A coaching question that helps you decide what’s worth changing right now

If This Resonates…

If you’re tired of spinning your wheels and want support finding your next step, I’d love to help. Book a free consult and let’s figure it out together.

📌 Book a free 1:1 consult
🎧 Related Episodes → #118. Comparing Yourself to Others? Try This Instead
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Keywords: ADHD coaching, work-life balance, productivity for SLPs, overwhelm, burnout, executive functioning, time management

Progress over perfection, always.

💥 Psst!! I'm hosting a free webinar and I want you there! Join me on Tuesday 12/16/2025 at 8 PM ET for Work-Life Balance for SLPs With ADHD. Get the details here.

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Learn more about Theresa Harp Coaching here.

Episode Transcript

theresa-harp_1_11-10-2025_ (00:27):
Hey, podcast listeners.
Welcome to episode 1 25.
I don't know why that feels likea fun number for me.
Feels sort of like a milestone.
We can make it one, right?
I could if I wanted to.
It feels like a nice roundnumber, so yay.
1 25.

(00:49):
I am popping on.
This is a unscripted just offthe cuff podcast episode that
it's been on my mind and it'sjust felt like something that I
felt called to talk about.
So I have been thinking about.

(01:15):
How we tend to get stuck in somearea of our life and what we do
about that and what we don't doabout that, and how that costs,
what that costs us, how thatcosts us.
So if you, if you're listeningto this and you've ever

(01:36):
experienced, I would imagine, Idon't know how you couldn't
have, right?
But where you've everexperienced something.
Like in your life that is justnot working for you or that you
wish were different?
Right.
If you found yourself like withthis, this, this area of your
life that you're not enjoying orthat that isn't working well for

(01:57):
you, it could be.
It doesn't have to be somethingearth shattering.
It could be something minor aswell, but we've all been there.
Everyone, everyone has somethingthat they wish they could
change.
Not all discomforts are createdequal.
So I wanna talk a little bitabout that, which by the way, I
also just wanted to throw outthis, um, podcast episode.

(02:20):
There's another podcast episodethat I did.
I'll have to, I, I, I'll have tolink in the show notes to it
about.
Comparison and it, it wasn'tthat long ago.
So it kind of touches on thatpoint about like everyone having
something that they wish thatthey could change.
If this is something that youstruggle with, definitely go

(02:41):
check out that episode.
Hopefully I find it and rememberto put it in the show notes.
Okay, so everyone has somethingthat they wish they can change.
I think most of us have multiplethings that we wish that were
different or things that we wishwe could change.
Okay.
There is a difference, in myopinion, between something that

(03:03):
you wish were different, justsomething in your life that you
wish was different, and thenthings in your life that are
actually weighing you down andcosting you.
Are causing friction and pain,right?
So I want you to think about thething or the things about your

(03:23):
day that cause the realfriction, like the emotional
friction, the mental friction,the physical friction.
That should be a tongue twister,by the way.
That was very hard to get outclearly.
But something, what is it?
When you think about your day,reflect on your day.
What is it about your day thatcauses real friction for you?

(03:46):
Look at that, examine that.
So some examples, I mean, I dothis a lot, like I think about
this a lot in the coaching worldis lateness being late.
That is a, a, a piece offriction in our household, um,

(04:07):
in our family dynamic.
There is some tension there oflike needing to be on time and
it's not smooth.
It's not.
It requires a lot of effort.
It causes disruptions in thefamily flow.
It causes like actual tensionwhere people are kids.
You know, we're snapping at eachother.
Okay.
I'm not gonna name, name here,names here.

(04:28):
I'm just saying, so that issomething that I could in
theory, decide like, okay, I,this is not working for me.
I don't like this dynamic.
I don't like this scenario.
And.
It's not like, oh, I just wishit were different.
It's like, it actually is quiteannoying and problematic and I
don't like how I feel before,during, and after, and I wanna

(04:50):
change it.
That is the, that you have to,you have to decide that
difference.
Okay, so I am talking about thethings that you want to change.
They're not working for you andyou want to change them.
Right?
It could be like feeling stuckin a job.
It's not working for you anylonger.
It once was something that youloved.
Now, not so much.

(05:10):
It could be this like, patternof perpetual burnout and, and
burning the candle at both ends.
It could be submitting reportslate, um, or like the stress
and, and tension and anxietythat you experience in meeting

(05:31):
deadlines.
For reports or documentation orany other area, right?
So think about what it is.
Could be a relationship that youhave with somebody that is,
you're not loving, you're notloving the way that the dynamics
are.
Okay?
You have to look at that anddecide what are the real
problems, and then what's thebackground noise like?

(05:52):
What are the pieces of this thatare actually challenging to the
point that I wanna do somethingabout them, they're, they're
causing.
Some real discomfort versus justthe background noise.
Okay?
Because if everything feels likea problem, then your brain is in
constant overdrive, so you haveto sort through which challenges
are actually creating the pain,and then which ones are the

(06:15):
annoyances or which ones do Isee?
I'm aware of it, but I'm notyet.
Interested, willing, able,whatever.
I'm, I'm not going there yet.
That's something that I will dooften.
I'll see like, oh yeah, okay,this is an area that I would
need to work on.
It's kind of like when you're ina speech session and you've got
your targets for that session,and all of a sudden the.

(06:39):
The, the child that you'reworking with says something that
you're like, oh my gosh, Ididn't realize that we're gonna,
there's another goal.
Here's a future goal here.
This is something that we needto work on.
I, I wasn't tracking this, orthis didn't pop up before, so
you write it down.
Right.
And it's like, okay, I willtarget this future target, but

(07:00):
maybe not right now.
And that's okay.
So you get to decide between thetwo.
Okay.
So once you do that, it lightensthe mental load, but you're
still then kind of stuck withthis peace aspect or this piece
of your life that is notworking.

(07:22):
And what I have found is thatthat gap between the awareness.
Like, we're in this, you can'tsee me right now because I'm the
podcast, but we're like in thisplace of like, awareness.
I'm aware of the problem and Ihave a desire to change it.
I'm not notice, I'm not sayingfix it, but I have a desire to
change it.

(07:42):
I wanna do something about it.
So we're, we're here, but the,the gap between that spot and
then being able to actually takeaction, and I realize I just
said actually take action, butthe being then in, in motion.
In action actually.
Actually implementing thosethings, taking those steps, that

(08:04):
is a big gap.
It's a really big gap, andthat's the piece that I find so
fascinating.
And this is human, right?
This is, this is, I see this inmy personal life all the time
and coach on this with clientsbecause change is hard.
Change is hard, especially ifwhere you're at right now is.

(08:26):
Uncomfortable and it's costingyou, you know, maybe you're feel
it's costing you energeticallyand maybe physically, maybe it's
costing you mentally oremotionally, so you are taxed
and then you're trying toimplement change, right?
Or in order to implement change,it's going to require something

(08:48):
different from you.
It's gonna require, in manycases, something more upfront.
Because now you, you aredisrupting your pattern.
You're trying somethingdifferent.
So there's gonna be a, a, aheavier load there, right?
And that's, that's difficultbecause you're already tired,
you're already overwhelmed,you're already stretched thin.

(09:08):
So if you're looking at thatgap, we're wasting our energy.
We need to, to micro gap it, weneed to go down to the next
step.
Right, because guess what?
Where you're at right now isalready hard.
Where you're at right now isalready painful or tense or

(09:31):
uncomfortable or misaligned.
Fill in the blank.
It's not working for you.
So you can stay in discomfortand not have any progress, or
you could move through thediscomfort towards something.
Better for you, right?

(09:54):
Towards something that is, thatyou have decided is something
you want, something, you needsomething, you wanna create
something in service of you.
I don't know about you, but I inmost cases, if that discomfort
in, in that place is strongenough.
FI know that the fastest way toget out of that discomfort is to

(10:17):
put is to.
Propel forward is to figure outhow to solve it, is to move
through it.
So even though it is, there's ahigh energetic cost in theory of
making those changes, the costof staying stuck is real.

(10:37):
It is costing you something tostay there.
And it's one of the questionsthat I'll often ask myself, or
I'll ask this with coachingclients, like, what is this
costing you right now?
Not just the amount of time.
That's okay.
We can, we can look at that, butwhat else is this costing?
What are the ways that it'scosting you?

(10:58):
And then what do you wanna doabout it?
And you don't have to have thefull plan, you just have to have
the next step.
You just have to have one nextstep.
So instead of looking at thewhole gap, instead of looking at
the top of the mountain, look atthe next step.
Right?
Look at what that next step is.

(11:18):
So, and if you want help withthis, I will place a link in the
show notes to book a freeconsult.
This is exactly what we do incoaching, so I'd be happy to
walk you through it, partnerwith you, help you figure out
what that next step is and howyou're gonna take it.
You can always book a call.

(11:39):
Alright, I hope this washelpful.
That's it for this episode.
I will talk to you all later.