December 9, 2025 • 36 mins
If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re the only one who keeps repeating the same productivity patterns (even when you know better), this episode is going to prove you are not alone. Today I’m sharing three mistakes I’ve learned the hard way, plus a bonus tip you've GOT to hear...even if it stings a little. These are real-life shifts that changed how I work, how I use my energy, and how I think about “work-life balance.”
If this resonates, you need to be at my free virtual workshop, Work-Life Balance for SLPs With ADHD, on Tuesday, December 16th at 8pm ET. Everything in today’s episode ties directly into what I’ll be teaching there. Replay available, but only if you register.
What You’ll Learn
- Why rushing isn’t actually helping you get more done—and how slowing down might be the productivity strategy you’ve been avoiding.
- How to stop going “all-in” on systems you don’t actually need, and what to do instead before you sink hours into the setup.
- Why being “caught up” is not the emotional fix you think it is, and the surprising mindset shift that frees you from the endless chase.
- The tough truth about the “finish line” of work-life balance—and why letting go of it is liberating, not depressing.
If This Resonates…
If you felt seen (or mildly called out) at any point in this episode, I would love to support you more personally. Book a free consult and let’s talk about how to create your own version of work-life balance.
Want ongoing support and community? Come join us in the FB Group.
Resources & Links
📌 Book a free 1:1 consult → https://cutt.ly/KtwII93a
Keywords:
ADHD productivity, overwhelmed SLP, time management for SLPs, work-life balance strategies, executive functioning support, ADHD time blindness, productivity mistakes, sustainable systems for ADHD
Progress over perfection, always.
💥 Psst!! I'm hosting a free webinar and I want you there! Join me on Tuesday 12/16/2025 at 8 PM ET for Work-Life Balance for SLPs With ADHD. Get the details here.
To find out how I can help you improve your work-life balance, click here.
Come join the SLP Support Group on Facebook for more tips and tricks!
Learn more about Theresa Harp Coaching here.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
theresa-harp_1_12-05-2025_ (00:27):
Hey, podcast listeners.
Welcome back to the show.
This is episode 1 29.
I'm gonna be talking aboutmistakes that I have made.
I've got three, and I even havea bonus mistake that I'm gonna
be sharing at the end that's alittle bit, um, not vulnerable,
(00:49):
but just a little bit morepersonal, I guess we could say.
But it's definitely somethingyou need to hear, so make sure
you stick around to the end.
And before we jump in, have yousaved your seat yet?
For my free A-D-H-D-S-L-P TimeManagement Work-Life Balance
workshop.
(01:09):
The details are in the shownotes.
If you have not registered, makesure that you do, because a lot
of what I talk about during thisepisode.
Is exactly the type of contentthat I'm gonna be covering in
that workshop, which is takingplace on Tuesday, December 16th
(01:31):
at 8:00 PM Eastern.
So the details are in the shownotes.
Make sure you click the link tosign up.
Even if you can't be there live,you gotta sign up so that you
have access to the replay.
All right, so.
Let's talk about these threemistakes that I, and I'm calling
(01:53):
them mistakes in air quoteshere, by the way.
Okay.
But three things that I believedor tried to, you know, in an
effort to.
Stay on top of my work and buildmy work life balance and feel
like I was, you know, managingquote unquote, all the things.
(02:16):
All right.
I have made many mistakes.
I still do, and.
I wanna share these three orfour with you because I really
think that they are things thatyou have probably struggled with
yourself.
Okay?
Now I wanna be clear that these,I consider these to be mistakes.
(02:40):
My, for me, for my experience,these did not work for you.
They might, I guess, right?
It's possible.
I'm not suggesting that thesethings that I'm going to share
are things that you should neverdo or things that are bad or
harmful or anything like that.
(03:00):
Okay?
And if you know me, if we'veworked together, or if you've
been listening to the podcastfor a while, hopefully you know
that I.
Really encourage my coachingclients and my podcast listeners
and members of the Facebookgroup to take what works for you
and leave what doesn't.
Okay.
I truly believe that you cantake a, a thought, a strategy,
(03:23):
an idea, and you can use it foryourself and you can use it
against yourself.
Okay.
I'm acknowledging that, butwithout further ado, let's dive
in.
Okay.
So the first mistake that I havemade and continue to make just
(03:44):
now less often, I will say, isthe belief that moving quickly
will help me get more done.
Or another way of looking atthis is that slowing down will
prevent me from beingproductive.
(04:04):
Slowing down will hold me backor it's wasting time.
Right?
So for so long, and this isstill my natural, sort of my
natural instinct and rhythm,because this is a, a pattern
that has been.
Building in my life for yearsand years and years.
(04:28):
So I don't wanna suggest thatthis is something that I never
do anymore.
Okay.
It is definitely something thatI catch myself doing still, and
it is an active area that I amworking on.
Okay.
But for so long, I reallyoperated through the mindset,
whether I realized it or not.
For a while I didn't even know Iwas doing this, but I would
(04:51):
hustle, hustle, hustle, like,okay, what's next?
Let's go.
Where are we going?
What are we doing?
What's on the list today?
What do we need to get done?
Right?
And it was just so taskoriented.
And if there was pockets of timethat weren't being utilized for
something, I would see those asopportunities to get something
(05:12):
done.
And I would often use thoseopportunities to get something
done.
And then on the flip side, whenI noticed that I was slowing
down, I was, you know, maybe.
I don't know, on my phone,reading, shooting the shit,
(05:32):
right, like having conversationsin small talk, uh, whatever,
fill in the blanks, butsomething that wasn't
particularly task oriented.
I saw those as, you know, wa Idon't wanna say wasted time.
Sometimes I did see it that way,but maybe just not the most
(05:52):
productive way to spend my time.
And it would cause thesefeelings of guilt, regret, um,
maybe impatience or frustration.
So I ultimately realized that,and this is something that I'm
(06:17):
continue to continuing to learn,is that that is just a thought.
Moving quickly helps me get moredone.
That is a thought.
It's not necessarily a fact,it's not written somewhere in a
rule book.
It's just a thought.
And so how do I show up when Ihave that mindset?
(06:39):
How do I show up when I thinkthat way?
If I think and believe that Ineed to move quickly so that I
can get as much done aspossible, it leads me to.
Rush and hurry and it leads meto it limits, I should say.
(07:01):
It limits the interactions andconnections that I can make with
the people around me.
It results in me spending timeon things that don't always
align with my values.
And it led to this pattern ofjudging my self-worth based on
(07:24):
how much was accomplished.
Right?
And what I've learned now isthat, like I said, sometimes
slowing down is actually whathelps me speed up.
This was a, a new thought that Iwas trying on about a year or so
ago, maybe, I don't know, maybetwo years.
Like it started to becomeapparent to me that.
(07:45):
It was possible that slowingdown might actually help me
speed up, right?
Because what I was learning,what I was realizing is that the
faster I was going, the moremistakes I was making, the more
sort of room for error, right?
It's like you, it's like whenyou're hurrying out the door and
(08:08):
you're rushing and you're late,that's the day that you.
Spill your coffee all over andnow you have to stop and ha you
know, and deal with that.
Or the times when I would berushing, rushing, rushing to,
you know, finish reports orsession notes, I would wind up
(08:29):
putting the wrong name in thereor the wrong pronoun or sending
it to the wrong person.
Okay.
I mean, I don't think I ever didthat with evaluation reports.
I really hope, I never did thatwith evaluation reports, but I'm
talking, you know, sessionnotes.
I've, I know I've done it withgrading sometimes when I've been
(08:51):
grading things for students andI'm rushing, not necessarily
through the grading part, butlike, okay, I'm done.
I just wanna finish this.
Let me get this out, you know,upload this to wherever it needs
to be.
I would be more likely to.
Make a mistake and mistakes areokay.
I'm not suggesting that we can'tever make mistakes, but the
(09:13):
number of mistakes wouldincrease the faster I was going.
Plus, I discovered that as I wasalways in a hurry and rushing
and trying to move quickly toget things done.
I was expending so much energy.
It was just.
Costing me so much, so muchphysical energy, mental
(09:34):
bandwidth, all of that, that wasreally taxing.
And so I would tank out, is thatthe right phrase?
I, I would lose steam and itmaybe I would get a lot done in
those moments of sort offrenetic rushing.
But then the, the aftermathwould be that I.
(09:59):
Was unable to do anythingproductive or anything
beneficial or enjoyableafterwards because I was just so
spent.
So what I've really thoughtabout now, and I talk about this
concept with my coachingclients.
In fact, I was talking to acoaching client.
I was talking with a coachingclient this morning about this
(10:19):
concept of.
Intentionally reserving andconserving energy and deciding
where you want your energy togo.
Because we only have, just likewe know, we only have 24 hours
in a day, we only have so muchenergy.
I mean, yes, we can do things tobuild energy, right, to increase
(10:40):
our energy, and there are thingsthat we can do to sort of expand
our capacity and all of that.
But really there is only somuch.
You can do.
There's only so much juice youcan squeeze from the orange,
right?
And sometimes I would bespending it or really like
(11:00):
wasting it on rushing around onthings that really weren't all
that meaningful or important.
So, and the last thing I'll sayabout this mistake before I
share number two, which I thinkyou guys are gonna really relate
to, some of you who arelistening, by the way, the last
thing I'll say about thismistake of moving quickly, this
belief that moving quickly helpsme get more done is it was this
(11:24):
sort of perspective, I guessthat rest would slow me down.
I can't take a nap right now.
Oh my gosh.
What?
I used to like roll my eyes.
This is terrible.
I'm sorry.
This is terrible, but I'm justsharing it.
I used to sort of like inwardlyor outwardly, depending upon who
(11:44):
the person was, would roll myeyes when someone would tell me,
oh yeah, I took a nap today.
I'm like, what?
Okay.
Really mostly just rolling myeyes at my husband when I'm
like.
Oh, it must be nice, right?
Oh, it must be nice.
You get to take a nap.
I can't take a nap because Ihave to do da, da, da.
Right?
Sound familiar?
Can you relate?
I used to think, I used tobelieve or operate through the
(12:07):
mindset that rest would slow medown.
And now I have shifted thatcompletely and I take two hour
naps every single day.
No, I'm just kidding.
Just kidding.
I do not do that.
I mean, power to you if you dothat.
I'm not judging.
Like that is amazing.
I don't take two hour naps everyday, but I have shifted my, my,
(12:33):
um, opinions on naps and restingand my definitions of, of what?
Is rest and restful.
And I've recognized that rest isnot something that needs to be
earned.
It's actually something that isa right and it's a
responsibility.
And I now think of it as aproductivity strategy.
(12:54):
When I started looking at rest.
As a productivity strategy, itshifted so much for me.
It was just one simple shift inmindset and outlook that
actually opened up so much forme and took away a lot of guilt
that I would feel when I wouldslow down, when I would rest.
(13:15):
So I just wanna offer that incase that's helpful for any of
you who are listening.
All right.
What if rest could actually helpyou get more things done?
All right.
Mistake number two.
I'm curious who can relate tothis one?
I, I, I still, the, I say thatthese are past mistakes, but
(13:39):
again, really all of these arethings that I still struggle
with to certain degrees.
It's just that now it's very.
On a much smaller scale and a, Irecognize it much quick, much
more quickly.
I can work through it muchquicker, much more easily and
and shift it a lot better than Iused to be able to.
(14:01):
Okay.
But the second mistake was goingall in on a system or a strategy
before testing it out.
And I'm sharing this one becauseit is very neuros spicy.
It's so typical.
Of neurodivergent people.
I realize how sort of oxymoronicthat sounded.
But it is very common for peoplewho have a DHD or who, um,
(14:27):
struggle with executivefunctioning or, um, consider
themselves neurodivergent.
We go all in on this idea, thisstrategy, this new system before
we actually start implementingit.
(14:47):
Or even just testing it out and,I mean, I can't even tell you
how many times I would do this.
It's, it's a lot of, um,elements of hyper focus coming
into play.
Right.
Which is a big experience, ashared common experience for
people with A DHD is the hyperfocus and also the shiny object
(15:10):
syndrome of like.
Ooh, look at this.
Look at this beautiful plannerwith these beautiful colored
tabs and all of these different,you know, pens that come with
it.
Look at this new, um, EMR andthis EMR really electronic
(15:32):
medical records.
I think most of you know what Imean by that.
But this EMR right is gonnasolve all my problems.
This billing platform is goingto fix everything for me.
This, this new, um, projectmanagement system like Trello or
Todoist, or, you know.
(15:53):
You name it, right?
There's a million asana.
There's so many that are outthere, right?
They are pretty and flashy andvisually appealing, and when
they're being marketed andpromoted, of course they're
always being marketed andpromoted in positive ways.
(16:14):
I gotta take a sip of water.
I've got like a tickle in mythroat.
Sorry if you've been around heretoo for a while.
You know, I don't really editthese episodes, so for better or
for worse anyway, um, I, and Ican't tell you how many programs
I've tried, things I've boughtcalendars, planners, notebooks,
(16:40):
journals, you name it, right.
All with the best of intentionsand these big, grandiose ideas
of how helpful they were gonnabe.
And for many of those things,many of those systems or many of
those strategies, I would likecommit.
(17:04):
I would decide like, okay, we'regonna set this whole thing up.
I'm going to get everythingbuilt in here.
I'm gonna get, I'm gonna, youknow, organize it all and lay it
all out and get it all ready togo, and then I'll start using it
and it's gonna fix everything.
(17:24):
Well, I think you all know wherethis is going, right?
And I wanna offer, like I wanna.
Validate sort of the, theobvious piece here, but also
offer, uh, like another, adeeper perspective on this.
So the, just the validation oflike, Hey, this is something
(17:47):
that's common in A DHD.
We go all in on something, weget really excited about it.
Then the shininess wears off andwe.
Stop using it and it's justcollecting dust somewhere in a
pile and when we see it, we feelguilty, ashamed, regretful, you
know, judgy, all that.
(18:08):
Right?
So just know that that is partof the A DHD experience.
Okay.
This is something that I haveworked on in my own life, and
this is something that I work onwith coaching clients, is how to
solve for this, how to approachthis, um, how to shift this.
(18:29):
But I also want to.
Offer sort, like I said, like alittle bit of a, a, a little bit
of a, a deeper perspective onthis or, or sort of like this,
this, I'm struggling with wordstoday, y'all, I'm so sorry.
But thinking about how, um,setting up a system, right,
(18:54):
setting up a system.
Without looking at the, the whyor the how it's going to work
for you is where I would oftenget stuck.
I would choose systems or ideasbecause they looked pretty, I
saw people online using them,and they were of course using
(19:16):
them really well and I would.
You know, I would be soldsometimes quite literally, and I
would go all in on those things.
And what I didn't realize wasthat there are ways that I could
actually.
Use pieces of different systems,or I could do a like surface
(19:42):
level system.
These are some things that I'lldo with coaching clients where
we sort of test it out.
We take it for a test drivefirst without investing all of
that time and energy into.
The creation of the systemitself because the, for me, the
dopamine and the reward, thereinforcement comes from the
(20:06):
building of the system.
It does not come from theexecution of the system.
And I didn't realize how muchtime I was wasting.
And how much energy and effort Iwas wasting on things that
really were not all thatproductive.
And when I say productive, Ireally mean that they didn't
accomplish the goal that theywere designed to accomplish.
(20:30):
So I have lots of thoughts onthis one, and I'm not going to,
I'm not going to, um.
Expand too much more on thishere in this episode, but if
this is something that resonateswith you, you're definitely
gonna wanna be there.
Either live or catch therecording of the workshop on
December 16th, because I'm gonnabe talking a little bit more
(20:52):
about this in a way that I knowyou'll be able to apply to your
own life right away.
Okay?
Need another sip of water?
Hold please.
I 100% have some sort of atickle in my throat that's not
going away.
(21:12):
Side note, I switched to adifferent podcast recording
platform recently and I don'tknow how to hit pause on this
platform.
I know how to hit stop, but Idon't know how to keep going in
the same.
Sort of thread or file, so tospeak.
(21:33):
And it just creates, if I hitpause and, and it just creates
more work because then I havelike more clips that I have to
go and find and splice themtogether.
I don't know how to do it.
It's probably super easy, but Ijust don't know how to do it and
I don't wanna invest the energyto try to figure it out right
now.
So you're getting all the, thethroat clearing and the coughing
and the, the water sipping.
(21:55):
That's what's happening.
Alright, so before you go all inon a system, before you go all
in on a strategy is the be all,end all.
Let's test it out first, let'slook at ways that you know it
might work for you.
Look at ways that it might notwork for you.
Uh, decide ahead of time howmuch time and energy you are
(22:15):
willing and able to invest in itupfront.
Testing it out before youactually use it.
Recognize that you might beproductively procrastinating by
setting up all these systems andplans, but really what you're
doing is just burning energy andthen you have no energy and time
left to complete the tasks thatthe systems are designed to help
(22:38):
you.
So if you're feeling called out,know that it is coming from a
place of love and support andgrowth, not from a place of
judgment.
'cause I, I have been there.
I am often there.
I still am there sometimes.
And if you want help with this,let me know.
Alright.
Third mistake.
And this is the one that, well,these, I've got this and then
(23:01):
I've got a bonus.
And I think both of these arereally important for you to
hear.
Okay.
The third mistake is the beliefthat being air quotes here
caught up on my work.
Being caught up on my to-do listwill make me feel a certain way
(23:22):
that getting all these thingsdone will help me feel better
once I've got this project done.
I'm gonna feel so much betteronce I'm caught up on all these
tasks on my list.
I am finally gonna feelproductive and successful.
I will, I will feel soaccomplished right now.
(23:46):
This is a tricky one.
Sometimes that is true.
Sometimes you can finish aproject and feel very proud,
accomplished, successful, youknow.
Peaceful, fill in the blank.
Okay, so I'm not suggesting thatthis, that this is never true.
However, when that belief is thedriving force behind all of your
(24:19):
actions and productivity, youare forever going to be chasing
something that you cannot.
Achieve something that youcannot reach because there will
always be more things on yourto-do list.
We know this, the to-do list isnever done.
(24:39):
That is a painful truth, but itis true because there's always
things that could be added.
There's always things that.
Could have gone on the to-dolist to begin with, but they
just weren't on there.
There's always new things thatget added.
A lot of the tasks on to-dolists.
Once you do them, they createmore tasks.
(25:01):
They result in new additionaltasks that you have to do.
That's a concept that I talkabout with coaching clients a
lot.
We were talking about thatrecently, so looking at why are
you.
Wanting to get these things doneon your to-do list.
What are you making these thingsmean?
(25:23):
How and where might you bedelegating your self-worth, your
self value, your self-concept toexternal circumstances?
Like for me, that is not how I,that's not what I want to define
my, my self-worth.
(25:44):
I don't want.
Pro, you know, productproductivity and, and getting
things done to be the decidingfactor or the defining factor in
how, you know, happy I am.
Like that's just something toreally look at.
Okay.
Because how many times have youexperienced too, those of you
(26:06):
who are listening.
You might then, oh, there's twothings I wanna say about this.
You might have discovered thatyou get to, you know, the end of
that list for the day, or youget that project done and you
don't feel any different.
How often does that happen?
Um, and there are cer, like Isaid, there's certainly times
(26:28):
where you'll get those thingsdone and you're like, yes, I did
that.
That's awesome.
Done right.
And you feel good.
But there's a lot of other timeswhere it doesn't feel the way
you think it's gonna feel onceyou've done it.
And.
That is something to look at.
Like if that is happening,that's information, that's
something to notice and that'ssomething to explore.
(26:51):
And the other piece that I'llsay about this before I share
the bonus mistake, the otherpiece I'll say about this is the
longer that you, uh, you know,the longer that you operate from
this belief that being caught upon things.
Will make me feel happy, willmake me feel better.
We'll, we'll, you know, solvethis problem for me.
(27:17):
The longer you operate from thatbelief, the longer you feel
shitty just saying, right?
It's like deciding that you'renot gonna feel better.
Until everything is done well,how about we figure out ways to
(27:37):
feel better now?
How about we create the abilityand the skillset for you to be
in charge of how you feel rightnow?
Why wait?
Why would we do that?
Let's work on this now.
Let's feel better along the way.
(27:58):
I mean, that's, to me, that'sreally the goal is the, is the
feeling happy, the feelingpeaceful.
It's a certain way that we wannafeel.
How can we feel that way?
Even when.
The to-do list is incrediblylong, even when we have a
million reports that we have towrite because if you keep
(28:19):
waiting until you're all caughtup to feel better, you will not
feel better.
It's wasting time.
And I don't mean in the sense ofaccomplishing things, I mean in
the sense of wasting time inlife where you could feel
better, you're wasting timefeeling crappy.
(28:39):
So.
I'm gonna get off my soapboxnow, but that is the third
mistake that I wanted to offer.
If it works for you, if it helpsyou, fantastic.
And like I said, if not, that'sfine too.
Okay, the last piece, the lastbonus mistake that I'm sharing,
guys, this could have been like20 mistakes, by the way, this
podcast episode.
(29:00):
But here's, here's one thatmight irk you a little bit, and
I don't know, maybe some, maybesome of these other ones have
irked you.
I don't know.
But this bonus one.
This is something that was alittle disappointing, I'll be
honest.
A little disappointing when Irealized, but I have come to
(29:21):
peace with this belief or thisawareness, and I have actually
come to really, I have foundthis to be really helpful for
me.
The mistake that I was makingwas believing that there was a
finish line.
That there was a place where Iwould arrive to like this
destination of work lifebalance, or this destination of
(29:46):
being in charge of my time orthis destination of loving my
career and my home and personallife at the same time.
Like I used to think that Icould figure these things out
and then I would be there.
Then I would get there.
Then I would feel better.
(30:07):
And it was great.
And, and that was it.
Right?
But what I have learned is it isthat is a false belief.
There is no destination.
There isn't.
And I'm sorry if that's, I mean,you might disagree and that's
fine too.
Like I said, you could use thesethings for yourself or against
(30:28):
yourself.
Um, but.
I could argue my, I could argueall sides of this, but I am
choosing to believe that thereis no destination.
There is no point where you getthat result and then that's it.
It is a continuous journey.
It is an ongoing.
(30:50):
Cycle.
It is a process that justcontinues and doesn't end, and
it ebbs and flows.
And there will be times when Ido quote unquote good with my
time.
I do, I do, you know, betterthings with my time and, and I
feel more in control of my time.
And then there are gonna betimes, you know, scenario
(31:12):
seasons where that is the, theopposite is true and I feel like
I'm squandering time.
There are gonna be moments ofevery day that are wins and
moments of every day that are,you know, setbacks or obstacles.
So it's not like you get thereand then hooray.
(31:32):
We're at the top of themountain.
Fantastic.
I'm done.
Now.
I don't have to, I don't have touse these strategies anymore
'cause I figured it out.
That's.
False.
If you stop using thestrategies, you will fall back
down the mountain.
Okay?
Now the good news is it doesn'talways take the same amount of
(31:53):
time, effort, and energy to getup that mountain.
'cause once you get up there,you'll.
Throughout the climb, you willhave learned so much.
You'll have strengthened yourskillset, your knowledge, your
experience, so that it's a loteasier to stay at the top of the
mountain than it is to climb themountain.
(32:16):
Right?
It's sort of like weight losswhere you'll hear.
You know, people will say, well,if you go on a diet, you go on
this fad diet, or you do thislike, you know, specific
program, this specific eatingplan, whatever, and then you
stop.
Like once you get there, youlose.
You hit your goal weight andthen you stop following that
(32:37):
plan, the weight's gonna comeback on, right?
There's a whole.
Whole market for the maintenancepiece out in the weight loss
world, right?
How to maintain that weight,that lifestyle.
So when you start thinking ofthis work-life balance as a
(32:58):
lifestyle rather than a finishline, there's so much that can
change for you truly, so muchthat can change.
It is a much.
I think a much easier, moreempowered place to be.
'cause otherwise you are justwhite knuckling it, gripping the
wheel, like struggling tomaintain control and praying
(33:23):
that this like house of cardsdoesn't collapse.
Right.
Well we don't have to, we don'thave to do that.
'cause we're building thisskills so that we can dial, dial
it up, dial it down, do what weneed to do in order to, you
know, feel like.
Overall net positive.
Overall, I'm making progress.
Overall I am living in alignmentin, you know, the way that I
(33:46):
envisioned.
So I don't know if that'shelpful for you.
If it is, I, I mean, I hope thatit is.
Um, but again, don't use thatagainst yourself.
If, and if you disagree, that'sfine too.
But, alright, so those were mythree.
Four bonus if we're includingthe bonus mistakes that I have
(34:06):
made that I continue to make.
Number one, just to recap,moving quickly helps me get more
done.
False.
Number two, going all in on asystem or strategy will help me
solve a problem.
False mistake.
Number three, being caught up onmy work will make me feel
better.
(34:27):
False.
And then number four, the bonusmistake.
Thinking that there is a finishline, a place will where I
arrive at work life balance,also false.
There is no finish line.
So I hope that these werehelpful if.
Any of these spoke to you,resonated with you, or maybe hit
a nerve.
(34:48):
Right?
Make sure you join me for theworkshop.
The workshop again, December16th.
It's a Tuesday night, 8:00 PMEastern Live.
I would love for you to be therelive.
It is going to, I'm going totalk about some of the biggest
myths and mistakes that I seepeople making, that I see the
productivity world.
(35:10):
Teaching and selling to SLPslike us, especially people with
A DHD, why it doesn't work forus and most importantly, what
can work for us?
What does work for us?
So make sure you are there.
Click the link in the show notesto sign up.
(35:30):
It is free, it is gonna be lowkey, casual, fun, engaging.
I hope to see you there.
Alright, that's it.
I'll talk to y'all next week.
Bye.
Hey, podcast listeners.
Welcome back to the show.
This is episode 1 29.
I'm gonna be talking aboutmistakes that I have made.
I've got three, and I even havea bonus mistake that I'm gonna
be sharing at the end that's alittle bit, um, not vulnerable,
(00:49):
but just a little bit morepersonal, I guess we could say.
But it's definitely somethingyou need to hear, so make sure
you stick around to the end.
And before we jump in, have yousaved your seat yet?
For my free A-D-H-D-S-L-P TimeManagement Work-Life Balance
workshop.
(01:09):
The details are in the shownotes.
If you have not registered, makesure that you do, because a lot
of what I talk about during thisepisode.
Is exactly the type of contentthat I'm gonna be covering in
that workshop, which is takingplace on Tuesday, December 16th
(01:31):
at 8:00 PM Eastern.
So the details are in the shownotes.
Make sure you click the link tosign up.
Even if you can't be there live,you gotta sign up so that you
have access to the replay.
All right, so.
Let's talk about these threemistakes that I, and I'm calling
(01:53):
them mistakes in air quoteshere, by the way.
Okay.
But three things that I believedor tried to, you know, in an
effort to.
Stay on top of my work and buildmy work life balance and feel
like I was, you know, managingquote unquote, all the things.
(02:16):
All right.
I have made many mistakes.
I still do, and.
I wanna share these three orfour with you because I really
think that they are things thatyou have probably struggled with
yourself.
Okay?
Now I wanna be clear that these,I consider these to be mistakes.
(02:40):
My, for me, for my experience,these did not work for you.
They might, I guess, right?
It's possible.
I'm not suggesting that thesethings that I'm going to share
are things that you should neverdo or things that are bad or
harmful or anything like that.
(03:00):
Okay?
And if you know me, if we'veworked together, or if you've
been listening to the podcastfor a while, hopefully you know
that I.
Really encourage my coachingclients and my podcast listeners
and members of the Facebookgroup to take what works for you
and leave what doesn't.
Okay.
I truly believe that you cantake a, a thought, a strategy,
(03:23):
an idea, and you can use it foryourself and you can use it
against yourself.
Okay.
I'm acknowledging that, butwithout further ado, let's dive
in.
Okay.
So the first mistake that I havemade and continue to make just
(03:44):
now less often, I will say, isthe belief that moving quickly
will help me get more done.
Or another way of looking atthis is that slowing down will
prevent me from beingproductive.
(04:04):
Slowing down will hold me backor it's wasting time.
Right?
So for so long, and this isstill my natural, sort of my
natural instinct and rhythm,because this is a, a pattern
that has been.
Building in my life for yearsand years and years.
(04:28):
So I don't wanna suggest thatthis is something that I never
do anymore.
Okay.
It is definitely something thatI catch myself doing still, and
it is an active area that I amworking on.
Okay.
But for so long, I reallyoperated through the mindset,
whether I realized it or not.
For a while I didn't even know Iwas doing this, but I would
(04:51):
hustle, hustle, hustle, like,okay, what's next?
Let's go.
Where are we going?
What are we doing?
What's on the list today?
What do we need to get done?
Right?
And it was just so taskoriented.
And if there was pockets of timethat weren't being utilized for
something, I would see those asopportunities to get something
(05:12):
done.
And I would often use thoseopportunities to get something
done.
And then on the flip side, whenI noticed that I was slowing
down, I was, you know, maybe.
I don't know, on my phone,reading, shooting the shit,
(05:32):
right, like having conversationsin small talk, uh, whatever,
fill in the blanks, butsomething that wasn't
particularly task oriented.
I saw those as, you know, wa Idon't wanna say wasted time.
Sometimes I did see it that way,but maybe just not the most
(05:52):
productive way to spend my time.
And it would cause thesefeelings of guilt, regret, um,
maybe impatience or frustration.
So I ultimately realized that,and this is something that I'm
(06:17):
continue to continuing to learn,is that that is just a thought.
Moving quickly helps me get moredone.
That is a thought.
It's not necessarily a fact,it's not written somewhere in a
rule book.
It's just a thought.
And so how do I show up when Ihave that mindset?
(06:39):
How do I show up when I thinkthat way?
If I think and believe that Ineed to move quickly so that I
can get as much done aspossible, it leads me to.
Rush and hurry and it leads meto it limits, I should say.
(07:01):
It limits the interactions andconnections that I can make with
the people around me.
It results in me spending timeon things that don't always
align with my values.
And it led to this pattern ofjudging my self-worth based on
(07:24):
how much was accomplished.
Right?
And what I've learned now isthat, like I said, sometimes
slowing down is actually whathelps me speed up.
This was a, a new thought that Iwas trying on about a year or so
ago, maybe, I don't know, maybetwo years.
Like it started to becomeapparent to me that.
(07:45):
It was possible that slowingdown might actually help me
speed up, right?
Because what I was learning,what I was realizing is that the
faster I was going, the moremistakes I was making, the more
sort of room for error, right?
It's like you, it's like whenyou're hurrying out the door and
(08:08):
you're rushing and you're late,that's the day that you.
Spill your coffee all over andnow you have to stop and ha you
know, and deal with that.
Or the times when I would berushing, rushing, rushing to,
you know, finish reports orsession notes, I would wind up
(08:29):
putting the wrong name in thereor the wrong pronoun or sending
it to the wrong person.
Okay.
I mean, I don't think I ever didthat with evaluation reports.
I really hope, I never did thatwith evaluation reports, but I'm
talking, you know, sessionnotes.
I've, I know I've done it withgrading sometimes when I've been
(08:51):
grading things for students andI'm rushing, not necessarily
through the grading part, butlike, okay, I'm done.
I just wanna finish this.
Let me get this out, you know,upload this to wherever it needs
to be.
I would be more likely to.
Make a mistake and mistakes areokay.
I'm not suggesting that we can'tever make mistakes, but the
(09:13):
number of mistakes wouldincrease the faster I was going.
Plus, I discovered that as I wasalways in a hurry and rushing
and trying to move quickly toget things done.
I was expending so much energy.
It was just.
Costing me so much, so muchphysical energy, mental
(09:34):
bandwidth, all of that, that wasreally taxing.
And so I would tank out, is thatthe right phrase?
I, I would lose steam and itmaybe I would get a lot done in
those moments of sort offrenetic rushing.
But then the, the aftermathwould be that I.
(09:59):
Was unable to do anythingproductive or anything
beneficial or enjoyableafterwards because I was just so
spent.
So what I've really thoughtabout now, and I talk about this
concept with my coachingclients.
In fact, I was talking to acoaching client.
I was talking with a coachingclient this morning about this
(10:19):
concept of.
Intentionally reserving andconserving energy and deciding
where you want your energy togo.
Because we only have, just likewe know, we only have 24 hours
in a day, we only have so muchenergy.
I mean, yes, we can do things tobuild energy, right, to increase
(10:40):
our energy, and there are thingsthat we can do to sort of expand
our capacity and all of that.
But really there is only somuch.
You can do.
There's only so much juice youcan squeeze from the orange,
right?
And sometimes I would bespending it or really like
(11:00):
wasting it on rushing around onthings that really weren't all
that meaningful or important.
So, and the last thing I'll sayabout this mistake before I
share number two, which I thinkyou guys are gonna really relate
to, some of you who arelistening, by the way, the last
thing I'll say about thismistake of moving quickly, this
belief that moving quickly helpsme get more done is it was this
(11:24):
sort of perspective, I guessthat rest would slow me down.
I can't take a nap right now.
Oh my gosh.
What?
I used to like roll my eyes.
This is terrible.
I'm sorry.
This is terrible, but I'm justsharing it.
I used to sort of like inwardlyor outwardly, depending upon who
(11:44):
the person was, would roll myeyes when someone would tell me,
oh yeah, I took a nap today.
I'm like, what?
Okay.
Really mostly just rolling myeyes at my husband when I'm
like.
Oh, it must be nice, right?
Oh, it must be nice.
You get to take a nap.
I can't take a nap because Ihave to do da, da, da.
Right?
Sound familiar?
Can you relate?
I used to think, I used tobelieve or operate through the
(12:07):
mindset that rest would slow medown.
And now I have shifted thatcompletely and I take two hour
naps every single day.
No, I'm just kidding.
Just kidding.
I do not do that.
I mean, power to you if you dothat.
I'm not judging.
Like that is amazing.
I don't take two hour naps everyday, but I have shifted my, my,
(12:33):
um, opinions on naps and restingand my definitions of, of what?
Is rest and restful.
And I've recognized that rest isnot something that needs to be
earned.
It's actually something that isa right and it's a
responsibility.
And I now think of it as aproductivity strategy.
(12:54):
When I started looking at rest.
As a productivity strategy, itshifted so much for me.
It was just one simple shift inmindset and outlook that
actually opened up so much forme and took away a lot of guilt
that I would feel when I wouldslow down, when I would rest.
(13:15):
So I just wanna offer that incase that's helpful for any of
you who are listening.
All right.
What if rest could actually helpyou get more things done?
All right.
Mistake number two.
I'm curious who can relate tothis one?
I, I, I still, the, I say thatthese are past mistakes, but
(13:39):
again, really all of these arethings that I still struggle
with to certain degrees.
It's just that now it's very.
On a much smaller scale and a, Irecognize it much quick, much
more quickly.
I can work through it muchquicker, much more easily and
and shift it a lot better than Iused to be able to.
(14:01):
Okay.
But the second mistake was goingall in on a system or a strategy
before testing it out.
And I'm sharing this one becauseit is very neuros spicy.
It's so typical.
Of neurodivergent people.
I realize how sort of oxymoronicthat sounded.
But it is very common for peoplewho have a DHD or who, um,
(14:27):
struggle with executivefunctioning or, um, consider
themselves neurodivergent.
We go all in on this idea, thisstrategy, this new system before
we actually start implementingit.
(14:47):
Or even just testing it out and,I mean, I can't even tell you
how many times I would do this.
It's, it's a lot of, um,elements of hyper focus coming
into play.
Right.
Which is a big experience, ashared common experience for
people with A DHD is the hyperfocus and also the shiny object
(15:10):
syndrome of like.
Ooh, look at this.
Look at this beautiful plannerwith these beautiful colored
tabs and all of these different,you know, pens that come with
it.
Look at this new, um, EMR andthis EMR really electronic
(15:32):
medical records.
I think most of you know what Imean by that.
But this EMR right is gonnasolve all my problems.
This billing platform is goingto fix everything for me.
This, this new, um, projectmanagement system like Trello or
Todoist, or, you know.
(15:53):
You name it, right?
There's a million asana.
There's so many that are outthere, right?
They are pretty and flashy andvisually appealing, and when
they're being marketed andpromoted, of course they're
always being marketed andpromoted in positive ways.
(16:14):
I gotta take a sip of water.
I've got like a tickle in mythroat.
Sorry if you've been around heretoo for a while.
You know, I don't really editthese episodes, so for better or
for worse anyway, um, I, and Ican't tell you how many programs
I've tried, things I've boughtcalendars, planners, notebooks,
(16:40):
journals, you name it, right.
All with the best of intentionsand these big, grandiose ideas
of how helpful they were gonnabe.
And for many of those things,many of those systems or many of
those strategies, I would likecommit.
(17:04):
I would decide like, okay, we'regonna set this whole thing up.
I'm going to get everythingbuilt in here.
I'm gonna get, I'm gonna, youknow, organize it all and lay it
all out and get it all ready togo, and then I'll start using it
and it's gonna fix everything.
(17:24):
Well, I think you all know wherethis is going, right?
And I wanna offer, like I wanna.
Validate sort of the, theobvious piece here, but also
offer, uh, like another, adeeper perspective on this.
So the, just the validation oflike, Hey, this is something
(17:47):
that's common in A DHD.
We go all in on something, weget really excited about it.
Then the shininess wears off andwe.
Stop using it and it's justcollecting dust somewhere in a
pile and when we see it, we feelguilty, ashamed, regretful, you
know, judgy, all that.
(18:08):
Right?
So just know that that is partof the A DHD experience.
Okay.
This is something that I haveworked on in my own life, and
this is something that I work onwith coaching clients, is how to
solve for this, how to approachthis, um, how to shift this.
(18:29):
But I also want to.
Offer sort, like I said, like alittle bit of a, a, a little bit
of a, a deeper perspective onthis or, or sort of like this,
this, I'm struggling with wordstoday, y'all, I'm so sorry.
But thinking about how, um,setting up a system, right,
(18:54):
setting up a system.
Without looking at the, the whyor the how it's going to work
for you is where I would oftenget stuck.
I would choose systems or ideasbecause they looked pretty, I
saw people online using them,and they were of course using
(19:16):
them really well and I would.
You know, I would be soldsometimes quite literally, and I
would go all in on those things.
And what I didn't realize wasthat there are ways that I could
actually.
Use pieces of different systems,or I could do a like surface
(19:42):
level system.
These are some things that I'lldo with coaching clients where
we sort of test it out.
We take it for a test drivefirst without investing all of
that time and energy into.
The creation of the systemitself because the, for me, the
dopamine and the reward, thereinforcement comes from the
(20:06):
building of the system.
It does not come from theexecution of the system.
And I didn't realize how muchtime I was wasting.
And how much energy and effort Iwas wasting on things that
really were not all thatproductive.
And when I say productive, Ireally mean that they didn't
accomplish the goal that theywere designed to accomplish.
(20:30):
So I have lots of thoughts onthis one, and I'm not going to,
I'm not going to, um.
Expand too much more on thishere in this episode, but if
this is something that resonateswith you, you're definitely
gonna wanna be there.
Either live or catch therecording of the workshop on
December 16th, because I'm gonnabe talking a little bit more
(20:52):
about this in a way that I knowyou'll be able to apply to your
own life right away.
Okay?
Need another sip of water?
Hold please.
I 100% have some sort of atickle in my throat that's not
going away.
(21:12):
Side note, I switched to adifferent podcast recording
platform recently and I don'tknow how to hit pause on this
platform.
I know how to hit stop, but Idon't know how to keep going in
the same.
Sort of thread or file, so tospeak.
(21:33):
And it just creates, if I hitpause and, and it just creates
more work because then I havelike more clips that I have to
go and find and splice themtogether.
I don't know how to do it.
It's probably super easy, but Ijust don't know how to do it and
I don't wanna invest the energyto try to figure it out right
now.
So you're getting all the, thethroat clearing and the coughing
and the, the water sipping.
(21:55):
That's what's happening.
Alright, so before you go all inon a system, before you go all
in on a strategy is the be all,end all.
Let's test it out first, let'slook at ways that you know it
might work for you.
Look at ways that it might notwork for you.
Uh, decide ahead of time howmuch time and energy you are
(22:15):
willing and able to invest in itupfront.
Testing it out before youactually use it.
Recognize that you might beproductively procrastinating by
setting up all these systems andplans, but really what you're
doing is just burning energy andthen you have no energy and time
left to complete the tasks thatthe systems are designed to help
(22:38):
you.
So if you're feeling called out,know that it is coming from a
place of love and support andgrowth, not from a place of
judgment.
'cause I, I have been there.
I am often there.
I still am there sometimes.
And if you want help with this,let me know.
Alright.
Third mistake.
And this is the one that, well,these, I've got this and then
(23:01):
I've got a bonus.
And I think both of these arereally important for you to
hear.
Okay.
The third mistake is the beliefthat being air quotes here
caught up on my work.
Being caught up on my to-do listwill make me feel a certain way
(23:22):
that getting all these thingsdone will help me feel better
once I've got this project done.
I'm gonna feel so much betteronce I'm caught up on all these
tasks on my list.
I am finally gonna feelproductive and successful.
I will, I will feel soaccomplished right now.
(23:46):
This is a tricky one.
Sometimes that is true.
Sometimes you can finish aproject and feel very proud,
accomplished, successful, youknow.
Peaceful, fill in the blank.
Okay, so I'm not suggesting thatthis, that this is never true.
However, when that belief is thedriving force behind all of your
(24:19):
actions and productivity, youare forever going to be chasing
something that you cannot.
Achieve something that youcannot reach because there will
always be more things on yourto-do list.
We know this, the to-do list isnever done.
(24:39):
That is a painful truth, but itis true because there's always
things that could be added.
There's always things that.
Could have gone on the to-dolist to begin with, but they
just weren't on there.
There's always new things thatget added.
A lot of the tasks on to-dolists.
Once you do them, they createmore tasks.
(25:01):
They result in new additionaltasks that you have to do.
That's a concept that I talkabout with coaching clients a
lot.
We were talking about thatrecently, so looking at why are
you.
Wanting to get these things doneon your to-do list.
What are you making these thingsmean?
(25:23):
How and where might you bedelegating your self-worth, your
self value, your self-concept toexternal circumstances?
Like for me, that is not how I,that's not what I want to define
my, my self-worth.
(25:44):
I don't want.
Pro, you know, productproductivity and, and getting
things done to be the decidingfactor or the defining factor in
how, you know, happy I am.
Like that's just something toreally look at.
Okay.
Because how many times have youexperienced too, those of you
(26:06):
who are listening.
You might then, oh, there's twothings I wanna say about this.
You might have discovered thatyou get to, you know, the end of
that list for the day, or youget that project done and you
don't feel any different.
How often does that happen?
Um, and there are cer, like Isaid, there's certainly times
(26:28):
where you'll get those thingsdone and you're like, yes, I did
that.
That's awesome.
Done right.
And you feel good.
But there's a lot of other timeswhere it doesn't feel the way
you think it's gonna feel onceyou've done it.
And.
That is something to look at.
Like if that is happening,that's information, that's
something to notice and that'ssomething to explore.
(26:51):
And the other piece that I'llsay about this before I share
the bonus mistake, the otherpiece I'll say about this is the
longer that you, uh, you know,the longer that you operate from
this belief that being caught upon things.
Will make me feel happy, willmake me feel better.
We'll, we'll, you know, solvethis problem for me.
(27:17):
The longer you operate from thatbelief, the longer you feel
shitty just saying, right?
It's like deciding that you'renot gonna feel better.
Until everything is done well,how about we figure out ways to
(27:37):
feel better now?
How about we create the abilityand the skillset for you to be
in charge of how you feel rightnow?
Why wait?
Why would we do that?
Let's work on this now.
Let's feel better along the way.
(27:58):
I mean, that's, to me, that'sreally the goal is the, is the
feeling happy, the feelingpeaceful.
It's a certain way that we wannafeel.
How can we feel that way?
Even when.
The to-do list is incrediblylong, even when we have a
million reports that we have towrite because if you keep
(28:19):
waiting until you're all caughtup to feel better, you will not
feel better.
It's wasting time.
And I don't mean in the sense ofaccomplishing things, I mean in
the sense of wasting time inlife where you could feel
better, you're wasting timefeeling crappy.
(28:39):
So.
I'm gonna get off my soapboxnow, but that is the third
mistake that I wanted to offer.
If it works for you, if it helpsyou, fantastic.
And like I said, if not, that'sfine too.
Okay, the last piece, the lastbonus mistake that I'm sharing,
guys, this could have been like20 mistakes, by the way, this
podcast episode.
(29:00):
But here's, here's one thatmight irk you a little bit, and
I don't know, maybe some, maybesome of these other ones have
irked you.
I don't know.
But this bonus one.
This is something that was alittle disappointing, I'll be
honest.
A little disappointing when Irealized, but I have come to
(29:21):
peace with this belief or thisawareness, and I have actually
come to really, I have foundthis to be really helpful for
me.
The mistake that I was makingwas believing that there was a
finish line.
That there was a place where Iwould arrive to like this
destination of work lifebalance, or this destination of
(29:46):
being in charge of my time orthis destination of loving my
career and my home and personallife at the same time.
Like I used to think that Icould figure these things out
and then I would be there.
Then I would get there.
Then I would feel better.
(30:07):
And it was great.
And, and that was it.
Right?
But what I have learned is it isthat is a false belief.
There is no destination.
There isn't.
And I'm sorry if that's, I mean,you might disagree and that's
fine too.
Like I said, you could use thesethings for yourself or against
(30:28):
yourself.
Um, but.
I could argue my, I could argueall sides of this, but I am
choosing to believe that thereis no destination.
There is no point where you getthat result and then that's it.
It is a continuous journey.
It is an ongoing.
(30:50):
Cycle.
It is a process that justcontinues and doesn't end, and
it ebbs and flows.
And there will be times when Ido quote unquote good with my
time.
I do, I do, you know, betterthings with my time and, and I
feel more in control of my time.
And then there are gonna betimes, you know, scenario
(31:12):
seasons where that is the, theopposite is true and I feel like
I'm squandering time.
There are gonna be moments ofevery day that are wins and
moments of every day that are,you know, setbacks or obstacles.
So it's not like you get thereand then hooray.
(31:32):
We're at the top of themountain.
Fantastic.
I'm done.
Now.
I don't have to, I don't have touse these strategies anymore
'cause I figured it out.
That's.
False.
If you stop using thestrategies, you will fall back
down the mountain.
Okay?
Now the good news is it doesn'talways take the same amount of
(31:53):
time, effort, and energy to getup that mountain.
'cause once you get up there,you'll.
Throughout the climb, you willhave learned so much.
You'll have strengthened yourskillset, your knowledge, your
experience, so that it's a loteasier to stay at the top of the
mountain than it is to climb themountain.
(32:16):
Right?
It's sort of like weight losswhere you'll hear.
You know, people will say, well,if you go on a diet, you go on
this fad diet, or you do thislike, you know, specific
program, this specific eatingplan, whatever, and then you
stop.
Like once you get there, youlose.
You hit your goal weight andthen you stop following that
(32:37):
plan, the weight's gonna comeback on, right?
There's a whole.
Whole market for the maintenancepiece out in the weight loss
world, right?
How to maintain that weight,that lifestyle.
So when you start thinking ofthis work-life balance as a
(32:58):
lifestyle rather than a finishline, there's so much that can
change for you truly, so muchthat can change.
It is a much.
I think a much easier, moreempowered place to be.
'cause otherwise you are justwhite knuckling it, gripping the
wheel, like struggling tomaintain control and praying
(33:23):
that this like house of cardsdoesn't collapse.
Right.
Well we don't have to, we don'thave to do that.
'cause we're building thisskills so that we can dial, dial
it up, dial it down, do what weneed to do in order to, you
know, feel like.
Overall net positive.
Overall, I'm making progress.
Overall I am living in alignmentin, you know, the way that I
(33:46):
envisioned.
So I don't know if that'shelpful for you.
If it is, I, I mean, I hope thatit is.
Um, but again, don't use thatagainst yourself.
If, and if you disagree, that'sfine too.
But, alright, so those were mythree.
Four bonus if we're includingthe bonus mistakes that I have
(34:06):
made that I continue to make.
Number one, just to recap,moving quickly helps me get more
done.
False.
Number two, going all in on asystem or strategy will help me
solve a problem.
False mistake.
Number three, being caught up onmy work will make me feel
better.
(34:27):
False.
And then number four, the bonusmistake.
Thinking that there is a finishline, a place will where I
arrive at work life balance,also false.
There is no finish line.
So I hope that these werehelpful if.
Any of these spoke to you,resonated with you, or maybe hit
a nerve.
(34:48):
Right?
Make sure you join me for theworkshop.
The workshop again, December16th.
It's a Tuesday night, 8:00 PMEastern Live.
I would love for you to be therelive.
It is going to, I'm going totalk about some of the biggest
myths and mistakes that I seepeople making, that I see the
productivity world.
(35:10):
Teaching and selling to SLPslike us, especially people with
A DHD, why it doesn't work forus and most importantly, what
can work for us?
What does work for us?
So make sure you are there.
Click the link in the show notesto sign up.
(35:30):
It is free, it is gonna be lowkey, casual, fun, engaging.
I hope to see you there.
Alright, that's it.
I'll talk to y'all next week.
Bye.
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