"From Chains To Change": Scott Morgan's Path to Freedom & Recovery

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Omar (00:15):
From the city of Chicago, a city most recently known for
its crime and violence.
On this podcast, we will besharing stories of redemption
from individuals raised in thetough streets of Chicago and
from around the country.
Some of them were gang members,drug dealers, incarcerated
victims, and perpetrators ofviolence.

(00:36):
Listen to my guests as theyshare their experiences,
struggles, trauma, but also thestrength, Hope, faith and
perseverance.
These have developed in them tokeep pushing and moving forward
in life.
Tune in to hear how their liveshave gone from darkness to light
and from wrong to strong.

(01:04):
Hello everyone, and welcome toanother episode of Wrong to
Strong Chicago.
I'm your host.
My name's Omar Calvio, and uh, Ijust wanna start off real quick.
I just wanna thank our listenersfor the con continual support.
Uh, we thank you for, uh,listening and, uh, I ask you
guys, man, uh, please sharethese podcasts, uh, um, share
these, uh, interviews, thesestories.

(01:25):
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blessing you, man, share it withsomebody that you, you think
might, might benefit fromhearing some of these stories.
Uh, also, if you've beenwatching us on YouTube, man,
please like, and subscribe, youknow, uh, and think about
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I.
Also to those that, uh, belistening to the audio, whether
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(01:47):
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prayerfully consider becoming asupporter.
You could do that also, like,uh, mention, like on YouTube or,

(02:08):
uh, via the, the bus proud link,which will be in the description
section of this video.
Uh, so with that, I just wantedto share that, throw that out
there.
my guest with me.
His name is Scott.
Morgan.
Uh, welcome to the podcast,brother.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Amen, brother.
So, I, I, I, I met this brotherat, uh, a radical timeout, uh,
meeting.
Uh, so basically, uh, radicaltimeout is a koinonia house

(02:30):
national, uh, ministry.
Uh, they do prison ministry.
I mean, simply, right?
So it's, it is kind of like a,like a church service, you know,
it starts off with radical.
Yeah, it's radical.
So, man, uh, a shout out toPastor Manny Mill and the whole
team out there, all the men andthe women that gather there.
The thing that I love about,about them is, uh, multi church.

(02:52):
Yes.
You know, there you got peoplefrom different churches,
different denominations, uh,that all, that all have a heart
for the, the prisoner for theirfamilies.
And man, they're out theredoing, doing a great thing.
So you guys are interested inchecking that out.
Uh, they meet at, uh, compassChurch in Whedon.
Uh, that's every Thursday night,or from 6:00 PM till 7:30 PM So
definitely, you know, I'll put alink in the description as well,

(03:15):
maybe with the address andeverything if you guys are
interested, if you guys wannasee what God is doing through
prison ministry out here in, inthe Chicago land area.
Definitely.
Uh, I'll, I'll tell you guys toconsider visiting.
Well, w real quick, what hasbeen your experience with, uh,
RTO and, uh,

Scott (03:31):
so what brought me there?
Uh, I was seeking the truth andI found it, I found the truth
about Jesus Christ.
Amen.
And, um, the first time I heard,oh yeah, hallelujah.
Yeah, it took me nine months toget back there.
I had to pray on it.
I had to, I had to grow, I hadto surrender, and I did.

(03:54):
Amen.

Omar (03:54):
And, uh, I I, I know you mentioned earlier, we were
talking off camera and you said,man, this change has been recent
in the last two months.
Right.

Scott (04:01):
It, it has been.
Yeah.
So it was a hard fought one.
Man, man.

Omar (04:04):
Amen.
You know what, we, we, we, wewanna get to the victory,
obviously, you know, that's,that, that's

Scott (04:09):
the

Omar (04:09):
testimony there.
But, uh,

Scott (04:10):
man, let, let let you know, it's, it's the people at
RTO.
It's, it's the love.
Um,'cause I, even first time Iasked Manny or met Manny, I
said, man, are Christians ableto be happy?
He said, come on, man.
But my experience outside ofthat, um, it was a lot of, there
weren't a lot of happyChristians in my life.

(04:31):
I felt like, so, wow.
So that was one of the firstquestions I got, the answer I
was looking for.
He said, absolutely.
So you,

Omar (04:37):
you know, I'm gonna move this a little higher.
There we go.
Yeah, yeah, that sounds a littleclear.
So, so you said you neverencountered a happy Christians.
You know what?
Not really.
No.
And so, so, so what, what hadbeen your experience prior, I
guess Oh yeah.
You, that you would think orfeel that way, you know,

Scott (04:51):
well, you know, it could have been my own, my own doing
as well and, and the people Iwas seeking out and looking for
differences versus thesimilarities.
Um.
In the word and, and people weretelling me, I gotta do this.
And I mean, I look back at nowand, and they were probably
speaking the truth.
Uh, maybe just I wasn't readyto, to listen.
Yeah.
Even though I said I was so, somaybe

Omar (05:12):
could, it could have been the truth.
Maybe a little harsh too.
The delivery.
Yeah.
A little harsh too.

Scott (05:16):
Um, because I always had a little compassion and empathy
and it just, it wasn't jiving atthe time.
Yeah.
So again, um, I sat with Mannyright away and, and you know,
he's, I consider him my mentor,you know?
Amen.
You know?
Amen.
It's powerful in my story.
Yes, yes, yes, sir.
In our lives and, and how we getto share that today.

(05:36):
Yeah.
Amen.
Uh, but, but outside of justManny and Barbara, you know,
just the whole team and.
The worship and, and my friendJohn that goes and sings with
Jim sometimes I, I know himoutside of RTO.
Oh yeah.
It's just great how the Lord hasput us all in the same, same
room, man.
Yes.
It, it's all divine.
Like you can't, you can't makeit up.
You can't plan that stuff.

(05:57):
It just, uh, we'll explain, butOh, yeah, yeah, definitely.

Omar (06:00):
Man, man, I wanna, I wanna touch on that'cause it's, well,
when I launched this podcast,it's, it's through this platform
that I was able to connect withthem.
And, and that's been, youmentioned the word divine,
divine Daphne's been divine man.
Just all the connections and theripple effect is still going.
I love that.
And the, the network is growing.
Mm-hmm.
And to be there, there's nothinglike being around like-minded

(06:23):
individuals.
Individuals, man, that are onmission, man.

Scott (06:26):
Yeah.
The prayer, the love there is,yeah.
Is, is phenomenal.
Yeah.
Um, you know, it.
Coming to Christ and, and, and,and doing that surrender, you
know, like out loud prayer is,is tough for me sometimes.
Even, even today.
Yeah.
Uh, but hey, no, no, no,

Omar (06:42):
no, no pressure.
But you we're gonna ask you topray at the end, you know?
Amen.
Let's do it.
Yeah, yeah,

Scott (06:47):
yeah.
You know, uh, I remain teachableand, and willing to go to any
lengths for that man.
And, and, and filled with thespirit.
Amen.
The Holy Spirit.
Amen.
You know, and, um, so they,they, they're teaching me, uh,
discipling, um.
Yeah.
They're loving on me, man.
Yes.
Amen, man.
I'm glad, man.
I

Omar (07:05):
know you mentioned the word joy.
I see the, the joy in you.
Yeah.
The joy.
Yeah.
And, and, and that's the Lord,man.
But you know what, let's goprior to the joy, man.
Okay.
You know, let's, let's let,let's go to the beginning.
So, so usually I ask my guestsif, if they could go back, like,
okay, you know, could you tellus your, your, your childhood
growing up?
Uh oh, absolutely.
Was, was, um, was mom and dad inthe picture, and can you tell
us, uh, where, where, where,where did you grow up and how

(07:26):
life was for you in those earlyyears?

Scott (07:29):
Okay.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, uh, I was born in, um,Hinsdale, Hinsdale, uh, DuPage
County.
Uh, lived in Westmont, uh, forthe first couple years of our
lives.
Uh, so my dad was military and,and, and worked for American
Airlines, uh, early on.
So in the early eighties.
Um, stuck around Illinois for awhile.

(07:49):
Uh, I may jump around a littlebit.
Yeah, yeah, go ahead man.
Uh, but maybe we can come backto certain things.
Yes, yes.
Because there's for sure eachmove I felt like was, um, was,
has its own unique.
Story and, and how it trans, youknow, how it led to certain
things in life.
You know, I lived in 18 homesbefore I was 18 years old.

Omar (08:08):
No way.
Uh,

Scott (08:09):
five, uh, let's see, 1, 2, 3, 4 different states.
Well, actually five, if youcount, coming back to one, you
know.
Yeah.
Uh, so it was Illinois,Wisconsin, uh, North Carolina,
Tennessee, back to Illinois.
Um, so, um, yeah, up until aboutthe second grade, I, we were in
Illinois and then we moved toMilwaukee.
And, uh, you know, I had mom anddad in the home, um, pretty

(08:34):
normal home except for as we getolder, all the moves and, and
maybe that addiction in, in myfolks' lives.
And, uh, I, I must say, um, Iwant the light of the spirit to
speak here, right?
Yeah.
Am I, and it's nothing but thetruth.
So I, you know, I love my momand dad, uh, even though my mom

(08:54):
has passed, um.
And we'll get to that.
Yeah.
Uh, my father's still aroundand, and by no means is this,
um, blaming anybody and part ofmy story, it's just how I dealt
with things.
Yeah.
You know, and, and what kind oftranspired in life.
But, uh, yeah, we moved a lot.
So, uh, we moved from Illinoisto Wisconsin, and, um, I have a

(09:15):
twin brother.
I have two, two brothers.
I, I'm the youngest of three.
Uh, my older brother, Robert,uh, my twin brother, uh, Steve,
identical twin.
Um, and that was my ride or dieman.
You know, it was, uh, throughthe moves, uh, that was, it was
our best friend.
Um, and even to this day, uh,even though our walks are a

(09:36):
little different today, I lovemy brother and, uh, I pray for
him.
Amen.
You know?
Um, so yeah, Milwaukee was just,uh, you know, we moved from
suburb to the country, to thecity, you know, so it was kind
of like.

Omar (09:50):
Now were, were those moves based on your dad being in the
military?
Was that military based?
Yeah, you know, he would, he

Scott (09:54):
would come home sometimes.
Um, so he was outta the militaryby the time we started to grow
up.
But then American Airlines camea big part of his life.
So basically, I, the way I takeit is my dad could put in for
transfers pretty much whateverhe wanted.
And, um, I don't know the wholereason behind the moves and the
transfers.
Um, maybe one day I'll find,but, uh, you know, it, it was

(10:18):
serious.
I mean, some days, um, we wouldcome home on a Friday from
school and he would come homewith a truck and be like, we're
outta here on Monday.
You know?
So as a kid.
It might, you know, as we'retalking today, might not seem
that serious.
But when you have friends and,and, and again, you know, it's
not just one move, it's, it'sseveral moves at this point.

(10:39):
And even in the third and fourthgrades, um, you're making
friends.
Yeah.
You gotta leave friends.
You, you don't get to saygoodbye.
You, you know, you're, you gotbonds with people and, uh, but
then let's talk about when yougo back to a school that you're
new in, um, it's always tough,man.
Yeah.
As a kid man trying to fit in.
Right.
And, and again, if you're, ifyou're from the city and you're
moving to the country, or viceversa, a lot of it's up here.

(11:02):
I think it's, especially as akid, but you feel like you don't
fit in.
Yeah.
And, and, and then you startdoing things, man, that, um,
maybe aren't you, you know,you're not your authentic true
self man.
You, you just kind of do wildthings.
And, and again, I had a twinbrother.
Um.
Uh, that kind of amped that up.
You know, the twin, you know,they find these twins.

(11:24):
The twins are here, you know,and it was like a threat almost
as we got older, you know?
Um, Milwaukee wasn't that bad.
I mean, we had great, I mean, weplayed ball.
My dad was my, our coaches andstuff.
And uh, and then we moved toNorth Carolina.
Um, and that's where, what,

Omar (11:40):
what, what, what age was that?

Scott (11:41):
How old were you?
Uh, when we moved to NorthCarolina, it was about 10 years
old, you know?
Um, yeah, nine, 10 years oldagain, playing Little League.
Uh, I was in four H.
Uh, let me talk about churchtoo.
So my mom was Catholic and shetook her boys to church on the
holidays, you know, but we werenever, I think we were

(12:02):
christened maybe as a kid, butwe weren't really followers and
we weren't, uh, my mom did tryto keep us going to church, but
we were there not.
For the Lord if that was, youknow, like youth groups were
kind of like a hangout andespecially as, as young kids,
um, bouncing around.
I mean, there were kids therethat obviously were walking the
walk, you know, then, but weweren't there for that.

(12:24):
We were just, it was somethingto do.
Uh, so we weren't, it was neverconnected with God, you know?
Um, but yeah, we moved to NorthCarolina.
Got, uh, you know, I was littleleague, um, pretty good in
school, you know, average.
Like I don't come from a, aneglected home.
I, you know, my dad never beatus.
I mean, we got in trouble and,and when we deserved it, you

(12:46):
know, you got ride.
We were raised in the seventiesand eighties, man, like.
Yeah.
It was so, it was, it was, itwas deserved.
It was just outta nowhere.
It wasn't, yeah.
You mom break wooden spoons andthat and go grab another one.
Like that was a part of it.
And, and you only did that acouple times before you're like,
okay, this is, you know, this isnot gonna work.
So, right.
I got you, man.
Uh, you know, my boss would putus to the wall.
Um, I think his favorite thingis when, for discipline, he

(13:09):
would make us put hammers in ourhands and, and hold them out
like a cross.
And every time we dropped them,you had to restart, you know?
Wow.
And so I just remember crying alot as a, as a kid when that
happened.
Uh,'cause that was tough, man.
Yeah.
You know?
Um, but, uh, life is, life isall right at that time, you
know, 10, 11, um, until itwasn't.

(13:30):
Okay.
What, what, what, what, uh,around that time, um, so we're
in North Carolina and we'vealready made probably four
different moves inside RaleighDurham area.
Uh.
And then, uh, my mom and dadwould go out town a lot and
she'd leave us, they would leaveus with a babysitter.
And that babysitter, uh, crossedthat line, man, with the twins,

(13:52):
you know, and, and was sexuallyabused at 11, 12 years old, you
know?
And, and that changed the game.
Mm-hmm.
You know, that changed, um, theway school was going, the sports
and, and, and kind of, that wasthe start of, of, uh, that, that
thinking, you know, because nowevery relationship had changed,
you know, I mean, we werepopular in school and again,

(14:16):
not, not troublemakers, but westarted acting out, man.
Mm-hmm.
Um, as, as,

Omar (14:21):
as a result of that, as a, it is just

Scott (14:23):
a result of that, you know?
And, and she was an older lady.
Um, I don't really want to No,yeah.
Go into too much detail on thatexcept for, you know, I, I look
back now and I can't imaginethat happening to my kids, you
know?
Um.
At such a early age and, and notbeing able to share it, not
being able to, I mean, it washaving to my brother, so we
would kick that around, but thenit was even silence between us.

(14:46):
It was just something we did.
And, and, um, and then we movedout there at 13.
And at 13, um, we moved toNashville and that's when things
really changed for us, you know?
Well, because you're becoming ateenager.

Omar (15:00):
Yeah.

Scott (15:00):
Um, but in that time too, uh, a family member had also
started, uh, abusing the twins.
So now it's, it's on both sides,you know, it's like, um, yeah,
it was tough, man.
Um, so now we're in the eighthgrade and in eighth grade, you
know, you should be having funand, you know, just doing what

(15:21):
eighth graders do.
Yeah.
You know, I think we're 13 and,um, that had changed every
relationship with every girl,you know?
Um.
Unfortunately, um, we wereseeking things'cause we thought
that was the norm at that time.
Yeah.
We didn't know any different.
So, you know, it was, it was,um, it was tough man because,

(15:41):
uh, it just didn't end well, youknow.
Okay.
I, uh, started experimentingwith, uh, well, my brother and
I, a lot of pills and smokingcigarettes, like before school
and just, uh, hanging out withthe, the wrong crowd, I guess
you would say.
And, and, and, but we were a bigpart of that crowd, right?
Like, so it's, I don't wannablame it all in the wrong crowd.

(16:02):
Yeah.
It's like, man, it's where wefit in, man.
You know?
We felt like we were outcast and

Omar (16:05):
you, you know.
Could I ask you something?
Do you feel that that led you tothat?
Like, I know you mentioned the,the abuse Yeah.
You told that that was triggeredYeah, absolutely.
To fighting an escape.
Absolutely.
Yeah.

Scott (16:14):
Yeah.
Uh,'cause by that time we hadstarted acting out and, and, um.
Never really hurting anybody,but we were some crazy kids,
man.
We lived in the country.
Uh,

Omar (16:25):
can I ask you this too?
Um, yeah.
Did it ever cross your mind backthen to let somebody know your
parents like you or your twin?
Did it you guys ever have thatconversation or it was just
something you knew?
We just because

Scott (16:36):
we were shameful man, like, didn't understand that it
wasn't our journey at that time.
You know, we didn't understandthat, uh, well if we didn't
think anyone would believe usfor one, I'm sure.
And then it was more of, uh, Iguess an ego thing at, at some
point too, as you're gettingolder, like you don't want to
tell people that you weremolested and that you were
pretty much raped.

(16:56):
Right.
Like by older people.
Yeah.
Sick people, you know?
Yeah.
Gotcha.
And, and we're not talking justlike once or twice like it, it
went on for a while, you know,and, and, uh, I won't talk about
my brother's journey oranything, anything like that,
but uh, I know he was put inother situations where that
probably continued where itstopped for me.

(17:17):
Uh, so I thank God today.
Um,'cause I don't know whatwould've happened.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I, I, no.
Right, right.
You know, I don't know.
But, uh, you know, by that timenow, um, 13, 14, and man, we're
running the streets, we'rerunning away from home.
We're, we're no longer reallyhanging out.
I mean, we were hanging out withpeople, but they're older people

(17:38):
now.
And, and my, I find my brotherand I were, were drinking and we
were smoking pot and, you know,for a long time, you know, like
at a young age, we're stealingeverything.
Like, we're just reckless, youknow?
Yeah.
We just, uh, we just don't care,you know?
And still going home, trying toplay one role, but then as soon
as we leave out, man, it's awhole different ball game.

(18:00):
And, and, um, my mom did try tohook us up into the youth group
there, but even, even, I re Ican recall we went, uh, there
was a church off of McGavickPike almost by downtown
Nashville.
And, and we ended up doing somehorrible vandalism.
You know, like at, at the, atthe church, you know, everyone's
at church and my brother and Iare out in the parking lot.

(18:20):
We're ripping off all theCadillac emblems and jaguars and
you know, and, and I remember,only reason I bring that up is I
remember going home and we'd puteverything in this cheese balls
can, and my mom never asked foranything.
We come home that night with allthese emblems and figure out how
we're going get rid of thesethings for no reason.
She asked her to eat cheeseballs.

(18:41):
Well, ain't no cheese balls inthere, bro.
You know how the, how, the, how,how, how, how did that night

Omar (18:47):
go?

Scott (18:48):
Uh, it, it didn't go well.
She ended up calling the pastorand we, they didn't press any
charges and there was, it wasdozens of cars that were.
Vandalized.
And, and that's, that's God'sgrace back then, man.
You know?
Uh, that's,

Omar (19:01):
that's a lot of money.
A lot.
It was a lot

Scott (19:02):
of money, man.
You know?
'cause we weren't just going forthe silver.
We went for all the goldcaddies, you know, it's back in
the nineties, early nineties,man.
Oh man.
But, uh, yeah, it didn't endwell.
And, um, I just remember, uh,how disappointed my mom was, you
know, at the end of it.
Uh, but didn't think about ittoo long.

(19:23):
'cause now we're back, you know,ripping a run.
We ran away from home and, and,uh, you know, as we get older,
I'm, uh, now, now I waswrestling in high school and,
and trying to play sports, butnow I'm getting suspended for
smoking and, you know, just kindof at this point, the twins are
separated.
My mom put us in different highschools in Hendersonville.

(19:46):
There was like a nice highschool.
And then I was in the country,you know, like I.
It was Oh, did, did they figurethat that might help.
That might help.
Okay.
Like separate because we werejust outta control.
Yeah.
You know?
Um, and yeah, it was, it waspretty rough for my mom and my
dad.
Uh, but my dad was kind of inand out of the picture.
Uh, he was traveling a lot.
He would always,

Omar (20:05):
you said he was a pilot or No, he, he worked for the
airlines.
Yeah,

Scott (20:08):
he worked for the airlines.
Okay.
He was part of ground crew.
Yeah.
You know, but I just rememberhim being gone a lot with a lot
of working and traveling andstuff like that.
So, um, yeah, it was tough on mymom.
And, and then we started workingand, you know, I got a job and
I, when we were 15 and worked ata car wash, it's where we pretty
much learned to drive.
And, and, and I just rememberthat guy that ran that he was,

(20:29):
he wouldn't show up sometimesand it's'cause he was locked up.
'cause he was a, he wasslinging, you know, and he loved
the twins, man.
We just, just had that vibe, youknow what I mean?
Like we always fit in with the,uh.
I, I can't even call'em nogoods, but just the, the, the
hooligans.
Yeah, the hooligans, bro.
You know, like it's just what itwas, man.
And, uh, you know, um, you know,that abuse led to, I, I got an

(20:55):
older, uh, a woman pregnant at15 years old man, you know, and,
and so by this time, pretty muchhad quit school and they put us
in this alternative school, mybrother and I, I know there's a
lot in between there that we'remissing, but it's not really
important.
Oh, yeah.
It's just, it's just a lot ofnonsense really.
Um, but I, I remember calling mymom from night school, and it

(21:20):
was from four to 10 30 at night.
I called her on a break.
I said, mom, we need to talk.
And she's like, well, you needto tell me now.
And I'm like, well, you know,Pam's pregnant, you know, and,
and, uh, I know that crushed mymom, man.
You know, I look back today and,and I did back then too, is
like, my mom didn't talk to mefor like a week, man.
She was really, she was hurt,she was upset.

(21:42):
You know, again, you know, thatabuse led to not being able to
have any re re uh, relationship.
That was a normal relationshipin life, man.
And that continued into, we'llget into more into that, but,
you know, um, so my dad camelike a week later.
He was already in Chicago.
'cause we were getting ready foranother move.

(22:02):
Um, so by this time, you know,we just moving was still
constant.
Uh, and my dad said he loved meand I thought my dad was gonna
whoop me.
Man.
I, I seriously thought my dadwas gonna whoop me.
And, and actually my mom treatedme worse than my, my dad and
that.
And, uh.
He said, we, you are gonna movethough, you know, again, they
were under to press charges andall this.

(22:22):
And I'm like, no.
You know, like,

Omar (22:24):
oh, against the woman.

Scott (22:25):
Against a woman.
'cause she was older, you know,I was a kid, man.
You know?
Um, and not that she was likeolder.
I think she was almost 20 yearsold, 19 at the time.
Oh, okay.
But, so it wasn't like, it washuge, but yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It was enough in my parents'eyes to be like, come on man.
You know?
And, and uh, what made it worseis she was my, uh, my boss's
daughter that I had worked with.

(22:47):
Um, so a long story.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, and by this time I'mdrinking and smoking and hanging
out every day and, and, um, youknow, they move us and, uh, it,
uh, it was some trauma man.
Like I could, I could always beable to be there for, for my
kid.
And, and, uh, and when I was, Ididn't get along with.

(23:10):
The stepfather, and then nextthing you know, police
insecurity are involved.
Like, it was just never good,man.
I was a very toxic, angry youngman.
Yeah.
Like it was, uh, I wasn't a badguy.
I didn't ever, but I was angry.
You know, I just didn't, Ididn't, I didn't know how to
control my emotions.
Yeah, man.
It led me down some rabbitholes, man.
Yeah.

(23:30):
You, it's just that, that, thatanger as a kid.
But again, I was just a kid.
And, um, yeah.
So I, I remember, um, justdrinking.
Just drinking, you know?
And next, next thing you know,I'm like 17 years old and that
relationship is gone and, youknow, I can't see my daughter.
And now I'm trying to finishhigh school.

(23:51):
Uh, back up here in Illinois.
Uh, my parents tried to send meto Joliet Central and I had
moved from this country, likealternative school, uh, which
was crazy in itself, but JolietCentral to me, was crazy.
They had.
Metal detectors.
They had, you know, all the golfcart, uh, security and stuff.
And I'm like, nah.
So I convinced'em to let me golive in Westmont with my, my

(24:13):
Godmother, um, and out in thesuburbs.
Yeah.
And, and so they did.
And, um, it just got worse.
It got worse at 17.
Um, I just remember, uh, youknow, again, every relationship
with women, um, girls at thattime Yeah.
You know, young girls.
It didn't end well.
You know, I mean, I, I probablyjacked up a, a few girls, uh,

(24:36):
lives just'cause drinking anddrugs and, you know, and they
missed out on some really goodthings that high schoolers
supposed to do.
Yeah.
You know, so, um, you know, I,uh, the day I turned 18, uh, my
brother called one of ourfriends and, and we went back to
Tennessee after being up herefor, you know, a little over a
year and a half or so.

(24:56):
But it was wild up here.
You know, he was hanging out.
Everyone loved the twins, buttwins, I don't think loved
themselves, man.
Mm.
You know.
Didn't love ourselves, man.
So we were doing some wild stuffjust'cause it's what we did, you
know?
Um, and we had severeconsequences to all of that, you
know?
Um, so yeah, 18, uh, I rode the,I rode back to Nashville in the

(25:19):
back of a pickup truck, man.
That's how crazy, man.
That's how crazy It wasliterally in the back of, of a
pickup truck.
How, how, how many hours isthat?
Eight hours?
Yeah, eight hours in a pickuptruck, bro.
That's, you know, that's thatthinking, man.
You know?
Um, wow.
I haven't rehashed this in awhile, man.
Wow.
So thanks for, for, for this.
Um, yeah.

(25:40):
You know, um, long story shortis, is we caught three felonies,
well, actually nine feloniesonly got, we got convicted on
three, uh, a week after, um, aweek to a week to about a month.
We caught all these charges.
Uh, after being 18.
Now, mind you, I had never beenin the court system.
Truancy, I think my brother hadto go with, and the principal

(26:01):
showed up for that, but I wasn'tever in juvenile detention.
I just, God man, just had hishand on us, you know, like we
just barely got by on any ofthat stuff.
But, um, none like jacking itup, man, once you're an adult,
you know?
So now you're, you're a hurttrauma kid, man, that's been
abused and you don't know.
You don't know what direction togo in.

(26:22):
And, and, and now we're, we'refacing serious time, man.
You know, uh, my brother and Iboth caught the same charges a
guy had that we had committedsome crimes with, uh, turn
states on us, you know, and, um,pretty much ratted the out
right?
Like, uh, and uh, so my dad cameand bonded us out after being

(26:43):
down in, in jail, down inNashville.
And it was horrible.
But it wasn't enough.
Like even, even as bad as itwas, like it didn't stop stuff,
you know, like he bonded us out.
I, I remember they didn't havethe money for our bonds, but
family members came up withmoney and, and there was a lot
of stipulations.
And I mean, within a week we're,you know, it's, we're messing

(27:04):
that up, you know, so long storyshort is on that, is that, um,
we were, we were given threeyears and, um, they, and they
were gracious with us.
They gave us weekends and that,and, and, you know, my brother
and I were smuggling drugs and,and cigarettes and pills and on
weekends, man, we're going inon,

Omar (27:23):
what do you mean they'll let you out on weekends?

Scott (27:25):
Yeah.
So we would go serve our time onthe weekends.
We'd have to turn ourself in atFriday at six, and we'd get out
at Sunday on six.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So for 48 hours?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gotcha.
Like we couldn't even staysober, man, going to jail for 48
hours.
You know, we would, uh, we'dcarve out our tennis shoes and
put'em all back together.
And trust me, when we walk intothese cell blocks and they love

(27:45):
these twins, you know, likethey're, I got, got smacked.
I got smacked one time by thiscri man, I, I wonder why.
Yeah.
You know, uh, I, I got smackedone time, man.
And again, I'm 18 years old.
I'm, I'm, I'm a kid.
And this dude came up and he wasupset, man, because we twins
came in laughing and holleringand, you know, he's like, man,

(28:07):
this is jail, man.
You know, like, this is seriousstuff.
And like, wow.
You know, I never really thoughtof it like that.
You know?
I knew I was down in the hole.
It's, it was, it was bad news,man.
But, um, yeah, man.
So, uh, I messed that up too.
Couldn't, uh, they didn't let meout one weekend, man.
So,'cause I couldn't pass drugtests and all that stuff, and,

(28:28):
you know, we laughed today, butyeah, man, when you're, you're.
18 years old, man.
It's really, I mean, we hadconcerts lined up all sorts of
cool stuff, right?
Like now it's real time, like,man, because now, now they're
not gonna let me go home.
Yeah.
And, uh, my brother's still onthe street and, and since we
were kind of rappy, anything hedid kind of got blamed on me
and, and vice versa.

(28:49):
So like, if he couldn't pass hisdrug test, it didn't look good
for me.
Right.
Trying to go to court.
Long story short is hey.
Yeah.
We ended up in prison, man.
And, uh, at 18, well just turned19.
Yeah.
MTRC, uh, middle Tennesseereceiving Center back in 1996.
And, uh, yeah, I remember, uh,this is where RTO comes into

(29:13):
play.
'cause I, I received the Biblewhen I was there, man, that this
bible I have after beinghomeless, incarcerated and all
that nonsense from this pointon, I lost everything in life.
But never this Bible man, Istill have this Bible, but this
guy named Charles.
Um, gave it to me.
'cause we went to, it wasChristmas, and so this prison
ministry came in and did like aChristmas, um, service

Omar (29:37):
Yeah.

Scott (29:37):
For the inmates.
He looked at me, it was onelook.
And, and Charles said, man, Idon't know when you're gonna
need this twin, but you're gonnaneed this one day.
And that was it.
Like he wrote his name in thereand, and I think it was his
bible,'cause all his family'sbirth dates and everything was
in there.
And it was the old King Jamesversion.
Oh.
Way Bible.

(29:58):
And, and I still have it today.
Um, and I'll talk about thatshortly.
This is

Omar (30:01):
back in 1996.
Yeah.

Scott (30:03):
Wow.
1996.
That's a lot.

Omar (30:04):
How many years is that?

Scott (30:05):
30?
Yeah, it's, yeah, it's, it'salmost 29 years.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yo, yeah.
You know, it's sitting on mydresser today.
Wow.
Um, with full of prayer cards ofpe people, of friends and
family.
That, and I never realized I wasdoing it, but I'd put all of the
dead people in my life in thisbook.
In the Bible.
Right.
There you go.
Like, and I, I'll get to thattoo.

(30:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's kind of special.
Um.
And that's God's way of, ofhaving, um, a sense of humor
and, and tragedy and stuff islike, wow.
Like, but uh, yeah.
So Charles, so thank you.
But, uh, that's why RTO was sospecial because at that time,
at, at 19 years old, I was like,I can't believe people would

(30:46):
take time outta their Christmasto come spend it with guys like
us.
Yes.
Or kids, you know, but, butreally we were the youngest on
the compound I felt like.
Um, which, which was a blessingtoo, because at a young age, uh,
so back then, and I don't knowif it's that way, but two family
members are never supposed to beon the same compound together.

(31:08):
Uh, which was, which was cool'cause they put us there and
then a lieutenant heard thatthere was these young twins and,
and he feared that some horriblestuff might happen to him.
So he got us into the sameguilt.
He eventually got us into thesame cell.
So now I'm Sally's with my twinbrother, man.
At 19 years old and you know,God bless my mom, man, she sent

(31:31):
us everything back then you geteverything sent in.
So we had everything and, and,um, but I was just still a drug
addict.
Yeah.
I mean, even coming from thecounty jail and, and into the
Department of Corrections, man,they would, they were loading us
up on pills.
I had, I guess I should back up.
And prior to getting, uh, theweekend jails, I'd almost killed

(31:53):
my brother.
I was life flighted, uh,drinking and driving.
Six weeks later, I is when Ialmost killed him and a friend,
uh, ran into a tree at 80 milesan hour head on.
So I had two DUIs at a youngage.
Um, that didn't help any of thiscase that led into this, but
Okay.
So that was prior to Prior Okay.
Got prior to going in.
So, but yeah, I totally forgotabout that.

(32:15):
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I was life flighted toVanderbilt and, and from the
high school that I dropped outof essentially, you know, um.
Helicopter landed and, and theyweren't sure if I was gonna make
it and Wow.
But I did survive and, um,almost lost this arm.
And, uh, so they started givingme a bunch of pills, man.
And that was right up my alley,man, because now I can numb out

(32:38):
legally.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
And, uh, when we went to jailthe first time, the, the, uh,
doctor owned the pharmacy thatsupplied the county jail with
the pills.
And so it was nothing but a, apill warehouse, you know?
And so I go to the penitentiaryand, and I just remembered it
was New Year's of 96, and Imean, I think we were taking

(33:01):
Somas and something else, and itjust was falling out, man,
inside the joint, man.
Like I'm, I'm more of a drugaddict in inside the walls than,
than outside.
Wow.
You know, um, uh, they shippedmy brother and uh, and they
wanted to send me to bootcamp.
And, and I wasn't having any ofthat.
I, I didn't want anyone tellingme what to do at that age.

(33:23):
And, and again, I, I, this wholearm was all stitched up, so I
remember sitting in my cell andI would just beat my arm against
the, the wall so I wouldn't beable to do a pushup.
And that was my way out.
See, that's that, that crazythinging man.
Yeah.
You know, and, but it worked.
And um, they, they called myparents and now I'm an adult,
but they called my parents andsaid, um, he can't stay in

(33:45):
Tennessee.
Uh, would, would you guys lethim parole?
So it was called state probationand you didn't get paroled at
that time in Tennessee.
It was state probation.
They let you out on.
And, and, and so that workedout, uh, because when they let
me out of there, I was able tocome back up to Illinois, live
with my folks.

(34:05):
And, um, if you get paroled outof there, the only way DuPage
County would take me is just onregular probation.
So they, they accepted it.
They were like, okay, but youjust gotta stay outta Tennessee
for the next three years, blah,blah, blah, all this stuff.
And, and, and so I did, uh, Icame up to DuPage County.
Uh, my brother was still in the,in, in the joint.
And, um, I hit the streets, man.

(34:30):
And, uh, I found heroin.
And boy did I love heroin.

Omar (34:34):
Hmm.

Scott (34:35):
I mean, it was instant for me.
It was no, uh, there was nomessing around man.
I, I found something that reallymade me feel good.
I could numb everything, youknow?
And it was, it was soconvenient.
You know, I lived in thissuburbs out in, in Lombard with
my folks, and I could hop righton Roosevelt and hit straight to
the west side man.
And, and I never had been aroundanything like that, you know, so

(34:59):
to say.
Uh, you know, my mom found meoverdosed a couple of times,
and, you know, she found myneedles, needles in my arm burn,
almost burned the house down andjust craziness.
And so I stopped going toprobation.
So now I have warrants out forme and, and not only warrants
here, but now I'm wanted inTennessee.
And um, you know, when I wasdoing all of this, the computer

(35:21):
systems weren't all linked yet.
Yeah.
So I was able to still,'causewhen you're living a, a heroin
lifestyle, now you're doingshady stuff, you know, and, and,
um, yeah, that was me.
And so I was getting arrested,but I would get bonded out
within a short amount of time sothey'd never catch up.
And then I would just blow offcases, you know?

(35:42):
And so now I'm really running,man.
I'm running and, uh, ah, there'sso much in between, you know,
um, I'm trying to havegirlfriends and now she's coming
addicted and yeah.
And now Chicago reader was a bigthing.
And, and, and we foundprostitution in, in the readers.

(36:02):
And now we're working for likethree different escort services
outta the city.
And, and that whole.
Oh, uh, I don't even know whatyou'd call it, man.
It was, it was chaotic, man.
It was reckless.
It was, it was horrible.
Um, I seen a side of life that Ihad never really witnessed

(36:22):
before with the type of peoplethat were calling these people,
you know, and, and living that.
But it, you know, as, as a uabused kid, like, it, it, it
made sense, man.
You know?
It made sense, man.
And, uh, you know, she ended upgetting locked up.
And I went to, I, I ended up in26 of Cal a couple of different
times, you know, never for along, I think two months was the

(36:45):
longest time I'd ever spent in,uh, like division five or
something back in the day.
But it was enough, you know, Icouldn't wait to get out.
My dad would come pick me up.
I, I, they would.
I always wore baby blue.
I was never a gang banger.
But you know, we street life,you know?
Yeah, yeah.
I remember getting pegged withlike bbs outside of the chicken
place out there, 26 in Cal.

(37:05):
'cause they let you out aboutthree o'clock, you know?
Yeah.
And dude, it was brutal, man.
Yeah.
For a white kid, you know?
I'm young man.
I'm not even 21 years old yet,you know?
Uh, so yeah, we lived thatlifestyle and, and uh, you know,
and, and when you're not workingyou start stealing things and,
and, you know, it led to, uh,more charges, man.
But this time, um, before Icaught charges, um, my brother's

(37:29):
back home and he is alreadycaught.
DUIs just coming home and, youknow, we're just still still in
it.
And, uh, I, uh, I was dating agirl and, and, uh, she told me
she was pregnant.
And, and I got locked up shortlyafter that, you know, for, for a
burglary.
Um, and uh, I knew, I knew atthat time I had been running for

(37:52):
so long and.
I was in a lot of pain.
My parents, my family, I didn'thave any friends.
They were all upset, you know,just people didn't wanna bury
me, but they didn't want mearound, you know, they wanted me
to just get help, you know, and,and, uh, I was beat, man.
I was beat this time and I wasfacing a lot of time this time,
you know?
Um, so I got sucked into DuPageCounty, um, and they offered me

(38:18):
30 years, man.
And, um, I cried, I cried.
I'm like, what?
You know, but I'm also afugitive from justice outta
Tennessee now, so they put amillion dollar bond on me.
And so I know I'm not, I I'm notgoing anywhere this time.
Yeah, I'm done.
I, I'm done.
There ain't no bonding out andI'm not bonding out.
And, and, um, yeah, I foughtthat case for a while and I

(38:39):
ended up getting seven years.
So, um, it was a blessingbecause DuPage was relentless.
'cause, uh, since I was on therun and I had kind of caught the
same, similar case they were.
Uh, I forget exactly what theycalled it, but they were
extending term, extended term onsentencing.
So I was a, a class one.
Yeah, four to 15.

(39:00):
So they wanted the max, so theyhad double it.
Yeah, it was crazy.
I was like, what?
You know, and, and, uh, thecrazy thing is I see guys cop
out to that stuff.
Like, like, whoa, dude.
Like I fought it as much as Icould, you know?
Um, so yeah, we ended up in thejoint.
Um, and that was at the end of2001?
Yeah, 2001.

(39:21):
I ended up in, uh, Shawnee andum, I think I got there in May.
And, uh, our, our baby girlMercedes, it was born in June
and this is where it really getscool, you know, is that, um, the
Lord put me up back at, so backthen Statesville was opened up

(39:41):
and still, and, and I had a blueid.
Um, I.
So they put me over at the, uh,the roundhouse, I think they
called it the birds cage orwhatever.
Yeah.
Back then in the day.
And so I was up on the fourthtier for about four months and
uh, which was crazy in itself,man.
You know, it was, it was,anyways, it was the first time I

(40:01):
got to see my baby girl.
Uh, they brought me back on acase that wasn't mine.
They brought me up on a unlawfuluse of a, we a weapon,
possession of a firearm and allof this stuff.
And I'm like, man, I've done alot of stuff, man, but this
ain't me.
And of course, you know, youhave blue id'cause you're a
fugitive from justice and, and,and you just caught discharge.

(40:22):
And, and nobody believed me, butI put up for this court, written
whatever.
So I, I was able to go to CookCounty and fight it and, and,
and they found out, you know,for once I was telling the
truth, at that point the courtclerk had mixed our paperwork up
when I caught a, a drug case, aheroin case.
The guy that got charged withthe gun and unlawful use, he got

(40:43):
the possession charge and I gothis charge.
I'm like, but you couldn't makethat up.
And, and, and so it was ablessing for him.
It was, yeah.
Until they reversed it.
Right.
Okay.
But it was the first time I wasable to hold my baby girl in
Stateville Penitentiary, youknow, uh, my mom, my godmother,
my baby's mother, and, and mybaby girl were there.
And, uh, I remember you're notallowed to hold your kids or

(41:06):
anything, and at Statevilleyou're like, you're like, put up
on a pedestal almost.
And so everyone is down low andit just remember, it's like, and
knows that

Omar (41:14):
to keep an eye on you so you don't Yeah.
So

Scott (41:15):
the, yeah.
Security could kind of keep aneye, you know, so the inmate is,
even though, you know, aninmate, but I get it, you know?
Um, but I remember holding herman.
It was just a, it felt peace,you know, because it was chaotic
inside there.
Um, I remember walking up to thefourth tier, uh, where I was
housed at, and.
Just smelling my arm.

(41:36):
You know how a baby smellscaught?
Yep, yep.
You know, I don't share thatwith a whole lot of people, but
it, it really brought peace inthe midst of, like, I, I didn't
know what my future held, man.
Yeah.
I didn't know where the jointswere kind of changing, I feel
like Okay.
A a little bit there.
You know, the police, they,they, they took our, our, our

(41:56):
locks, our, our, we used to havekeys to our cell.
Yeah.
They started taking them and wehad to start pairing up and it,
things were just changing.
Changing, yeah.
Okay.
Uh, but the, the future wasuncertain.
Yeah.
You know, uh, so I felt peace,you know, and, uh, long story
short, as I ended up down inShawnee for a few years, and,
uh, I got my GED, which was, uh,awesome.

(42:19):
And then I started teaching orhelping out with a, BE classes
to other guys, you know, uh,adult basic education is what
they called it.
And I enrolled in, uh, computerclass and I hated it.
So I dropped out that and, and Igot A-H-V-A-C certificate and.
An EPA certified and stuff.
So I, you know, I found, um, Ineeded to stay busy, you know?

(42:40):
Yeah.
So the prison in Illinois, I, Ithink they took a lot of that
out.
Uh, now maybe they're bringingit back, but it was a blessing
for me.
It kept me, um, again, I wasyoung.
I was like 24 years old.
Yeah.
You know, it kept me on theright path, you know.
Um, and then I, I got releasedand it was a blessing too'cause
we were on lockdown for like,the last two weeks of my, uh,

(43:03):
leaving there.
So, you know, I, I was able tojust scoot on out, like, and not
a worry.
And then, um, I to go to acounty jail'cause they were
extraditing me to Tennessee.

Omar (43:13):
Oh, wow.
So

Scott (43:14):
I didn't even get to go home from there.
So they took me to likeMetropolis.
Uh, it's a home of Superman.
I don't know if you're ever.
I, you know, watched it.
But Metropolis is a real town,and when you go to their town,
they actually have a 60 foot or40 foot sculpture of Superman.
And I was like, wow.
You know, I been outside.
Oh, for real?
Is this for real?
Yeah, it's for real.
You know.
So anyways, I had to ended upgoing there, and then Tennessee

(43:36):
did come and get me and, and,um, yeah, I did a little bit
more time down there and I, and,and I got released, you know?
Um, how, how, how, how old

Omar (43:45):
are you now when you get released from Tennessee?

Scott (43:47):
Uh, so I think I was 25.
Okay.
Six.
Hang on, let me see.
So 30, uh, 20 years ago.
Yeah.
About that.
I'm still in my middle.
Yeah, yeah.
Later.
Uh, twenties, you know.
Um, but let me back up reallyquick.
'cause when I come home, I, I, Imeet this girl and I, and I knew

(44:08):
this girl prior.
She was, um, the sister of agood friend of mine.
And, uh, for whatever reason, Ijust remember on my, on my cell
bunk.
I had pictures of Mercedes and Ihad one picture of who now is my
wife.
But the first time, I don't knowif it's the very first time, but

(44:31):
it was the first time she wasaround me in, at like my place.
I was shooting dope.
And she was like, don't everbring me around this dude again.
You know?
Uh, she's not, she's not likeme, she's not like me.
But we were gonna go out like tothe bar of Chicago or something.
So I was, you know, just doingmy thing.
And uh, I remember my cellasking me, who is that?

(44:52):
'cause I had a picture of, youknow, of her and I'm like, I
really don't know, but I'm gonnamarry this girl.
And that was it.
Yeah.

Omar (45:00):
Yeah.

Scott (45:01):
So I come home and I go to visit my friend and, and
she's got things going on and,um, she's got a boyfriend and,
and, and all good, but, youknow, she was busy, you know,
and, and I, I just remembercalling one day and, and Amy,
who is my wife now, answeredand.
And, uh, we talked for a littlebit, but still didn't want

(45:23):
anything.
Right.
But she worked at a bar orwhatever and, and me, I, I
sought that out.
And, and long story short isit's so divinely, um, put
together because, um, we starteddating and, um, you know, I'm on
parole now and I'm doing theright thing.
I'm, I think I was working outat Allstate.
I was changing out the floors.

(45:43):
It was hard for me to get a jobwhen I came home.
Yeah.
You know, and parole and, andeverything.
So it was like through a tempagency.
But I just remember her, shewould take me and she was going
to school and a lot of goodthings.
And I'm on the straight andnarrow.
And, uh, when I was in thejoint, really quick I'll back
up, is I met, I saw my cousin,man, believe it or not, you
know, and my cousin used to livewith us when we were kids and he

(46:06):
asked me for my mom and dad'snumber'cause he needed a place
to parole out, you know, and,and.
Mind you, penitentiaries arebig, especially transfers in
Stateville to come across thatis, it's, I think God had a
plan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, uh, because he endedup getting a hold of my PO folks
and, and he ended up rolling tomy mom and dad's house, but he
totally jacked it up.

Omar (46:25):
Oh yeah.
So when I

Scott (46:27):
came home, we had the same parole officer.
Right.
And I was doing the right thing,and she kind of let, she, she
kind of put me to the side'causeshe figured I was good and
that's all I needed to, to getback out there, man.
Mm.
You know, I didn't get saved inthe joint.
I didn't, I didn't, um, Ithought I was, God, I didn't

(46:50):
really, uh, need a God.
Right, right.
Like, it's just the way it wasfor, for somebody like me.
And, and, uh, so news say nowI'm, I'm back on pills, I'm
drinking and, and trying to holdit together, but it's falling
apart fast, you know?
And, and so that was, um, it wastough because my.

(47:11):
My wife, you know, uh, she wasmy girlfriend.
Yeah.
Big time.
But, um, like it was hurtingher, but I couldn't stop, you
know?
That's how my whole life, Icould never stop.
The only way I stopped is when,when I was forced to, or Yeah.
You know, I just had no optionin jail.
And it was out there jail.
Yeah.
Pretty much.
Or, I mean, I did walk myselfinto like, hey, market detox for
heroin once, but even that, itwas just'cause everyone was on

(47:32):
my back and, and I knew I wasdying at that point, so it was
just like a, a respite.
Yeah.
You know?
Right, right.
To get back out, you know.
Um, but, you know, I'm, I'mcatching, um, I'm trying to
think how many other charges Icaught.
I was, I was catching chargesand again, you know, you can't
really hold down a job.
No.
You know, the good jobs I get, Iget fired from, or, you know,

(47:54):
parole was not easy, man.
You know?
Yeah.
Parole itself was easy, butbeing on parole and letting
people know that you're anex-con, and I've been an ex-con
now since I was 18 years.
Right.
You know, convict, you know,like, it's just hard, man.
Uh, yeah.
Especially when you startbelieving what people say about
you.
Right.
Like, oh kid, you're, you'rekind of, you kind of screwed the

(48:17):
rest of your life, man.
You know?
It's what I heard from a youngYeah.
Young age.
It's, it's like all of this, yousee, you're not, you can't get
any of that, you know?
'cause you've, you've alreadycrossed that line.
Yeah.
And, um, so it led me to justto, to drown in my own pity man.
Yeah.
So that's what I, so it wasalmost

Omar (48:33):
like, uh, to, to give up like what's reason give, I'm
even trying, not even trying,I'm already, it, it's, it's
sealed, right?
Like my, my future.
It's Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Scott (48:42):
Gotcha.
You know, and you know, by thistime all the, uh, the street
cred was gone, you know, allthat, you know, I, I'm just a,
I'm just a drug addict andalcoholic at this point, man.
And, and, um,

Omar (48:55):
how,

Scott (48:56):
how, how long did

Omar (48:56):
that last,

Scott (48:57):
um, of being on that life, like drinking and
drugging?
Uh, till I was 43.
Mm-hmm.
43.

Omar (49:04):
So what, what, what, what, what happens?
So, but, so right before that,that change happens.
So

Scott (49:09):
really quick is, is, is we moved to Wheaton.
Okay.
Um, when I had just gotten offparole, just gotten off parole
thinking.
My wife is working in Geneva.
It's the halfway point, um, fromwhere we're at, where we lived
in Doners Grove to, to Geneva,Wheaton was dead smack in the
middle.
And I hated Wheaton.
That's where the sheriff'sdepartment was.
It was cops, it was statepolice.

(49:31):
It was like, but we ended upthere and I got a job.
Uh, I walk in my dog, I, I toldmy wife and next person I hear
nailing or something, I'm gonnaget a job.
And ended up getting a job at aroofing company.
I'm still there today.
Oh wow.
18 years later.
Oh man.
Look at that.
Yeah, man.
Um, thank God I, uh, but when Ifirst started with them, it

(49:52):
worked out really well.
'cause I picked up my paycheckin the bar, you know, that's
where we got paid.
You know, the, the owner at thattime, at, at four 30, you could
find him at the bar.
And that's, that's what we did.
And so it kind of fit right in.
You know, we worked really hard,but man, we partied really hard
and, and yeah.
Yeah.
You know, um, I'm not here toglorify any of that stuff.

(50:13):
Right.
But that's just my journey, man.
It's like every day we'd, we'dwork hard.
We'd, we'd use drugs and alcoholand we'd, we'd eat really good
food, you know, and, and I'dmake my, my girlfriend really
upset most of the time because Ijust never had a cutoff switch.
So, yeah, that lasted, itlasted, you know, I got arrested
a couple times, silly stuff anduh, went to rehab a couple of

(50:36):
times in and out of that, youknow, first, uh, five, six years
with the company.
And uh, you know, every once ina while it was good for not
coming in for three days'causeI'd hit the city up or whatever.
You know, it's just living that,that wild lifestyle man.
Yeah.
And, and um, you know, we gottaalso talk about, uh, when I did
come home courts were involvedwith my daughter.

(50:58):
'cause now I'm.
I have this, this daughter thatI've been gone for almost four
years out of her life now.
You know, so I had to go forchild support and mediators and
all of this stuff.
And, and we did that.
And so, uh, when she was aboutseven years old, is when I
finally started to have arelationship.
And, and, um, I couldn't evenhold it together for, for that,

(51:20):
right?
Like, we had a great time and,and when we finally got that
relationship, you know, ourconnection was outdoors fishing
and, and getting back to thatsort of thing.
And it was good.
It just wasn't consistent on myend, you know?
Um, but she would come stay thenight, uh, weekends, blah, blah,
blah.
Uh, like all the, uh, schoolbreaks, we would get her, you

(51:44):
know?
And, and thank God for my wife.
'cause you know, I, I didn'tknow how.
I didn't have any sisters andnever had any daughters.
So my wife was kept that dooropen and, and that was cool.
And by this time, uh, we've gotone, one child, Michael, he's 15
now.
Um, so they were, they wereawesome together.
Um, she started to witness thisbehavior and, and that, and, uh,

(52:10):
yeah, it was just tough, man.
I just could never stop, man.
I just couldn't, uh, no matterwhat the consequences were.
Yeah.
You know, I just couldn't, I, Iwould try to hide it.
I would try to this, that Iwould, somebody call me out on
something, I'd stop that, butI'd go something else, man.
You know?
Uh, there's not a drug out therethat I haven't fell in love
with, you know?
Um, and so then, uh, rightbefore my middle son's born,

(52:32):
that's 2012, you know, I getarrested like two days, you
know, and I'm, I'm, I'm done.
I don't even, they can't evenwake me up for bond court, you
know, like I'm, I'm that done.
Xanax and, and whiskey, and.
Surprised I didn't get shot outin the street by the, by the
cops, you know?
Um, and I thought that would beit.
I thought that would be it.

(52:53):
No, no.
You know, it's, it was still, Ihad to, you know, feel I had to
go through some more pain, man.
Hmm.
Because that's what I, as muchas I hated it, that's, I was,
it's what it was for me.
It was your cycle.
Right?
It was my cycle, man.
And, um, all right.
So yeah.
Enough about that, but the, itcontinued man till I was 43.

(53:15):
Yeah.
43.
You good?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
43 years old, man.
I, at 42, I, uh, my mom told methat she was, uh, not doing
well.
She had multiple myeloma.
So, um, started, uh, thatjourney, um, being there for
her.
Uh, but then I found myselfdrinking in the, in the garage

(53:39):
and blowing so much cocaine,man, that it was just, it was
insane.
It was insane.
Um.
Again, I couldn't stop.
And, uh, this is where, this iswhere the story really begins
for me, um, with God.
And, uh, I made videos to mykids.
I, I, I, I made something for mywife and I don't think she's

(54:00):
ever, it disturbs her to evenwant to know what I said.
But, um, I asked God to take mehome that night and, and I had
never tried to commit suicide.
I never tried to not want to behere.
Re regardless of all the badstuff, I kind of just explained
the last half hour, fourminutes, whatever.
Um, I never wanted to take mylife, but I, I, I couldn't do it

(54:22):
anymore.
I mean, my wife was leaving.
She didn't want the kids to bearound.
Um, now this, by this time,little Wyatt's born, so now we
have three boys, you know, wegot Wyatt Cashin and Michael
Love'em all.
And Mercedes, you know, and, um,yeah, I made them videos and I,
I said, man, please take me, youknow.

(54:43):
If, but if you don't take me,I'll do whatever I need to do to
stay sober one day at a time.
And I didn't have a programback, you know, none, nothing
like that.
And, um,

Omar (54:56):
what, what, what was your way of taking yourself out?
What, what were you gonna do?
I after you, the video?

Scott (55:01):
I just ask.
I just ask.
God did not let me wake up, man.
I don't know.
I drank my Okay, but you didn'thave nothing.
Yeah, no.
My last, I drank a half gallonof, of vodka and did my last
eight ball of cocaine.
But this was, at this point,this was a normal day for me for
two years.
Wow.
You know, um, the amount ofmoney I owed and my mortgage

(55:22):
wasn't getting paid.
The, the bills were just inarrears.
Again, my wife said she lovedme, but she couldn't do it.
Yeah.
She couldn't do it.
I don't blame her, man.
Oh, right, right.
I mean, um, yeah, it waschaotic, man.
I was angry.
The kids didn't wanna be aroundme, you know?
Um, I started hurting people,man.
Tired of bringing shame toeverybody, you know, depending

(55:44):
on who around they, they didn'teven know, right?
Like, I don't even know howthat's even possible, but I
could be around certain people.
I had no idea.
And then as soon as I leave andthat door closes, you know,
every water bottle I have, ithas vodka in it.
You know, I can't even go getoutta my truck.
I mean, leave my wife and kidsin there.
'cause I come out and I couldsee my wife shaking her head and
she's pulling bottles out fromunderneath my seats and stuff.

(56:06):
'cause I'm drinking all day.
Yeah.
I'm drinking all day, morning tonight, you know.
Um, but it wasn't workinganymore man.
It wasn't working.
'cause I was in more pain fd upand

Omar (56:19):
Wow.

Scott (56:20):
Ever.
Yeah, yeah.
Ever, man.
Uh, so I didn't really have aplan except for I, I, I knew I
was dying, man.
Like, I, I just felt my insideswere just dying.
They were, my organs weresurprised they didn't shut down,
but I could feel it, man.
So I just asked them to finishit for me and, and, you know, I
didn't.
I didn't have a plan.
Yeah.
Uh, but maybe that's the goodplan is that God woke me up,

(56:42):
man.

Omar (56:43):
Amen.

Scott (56:43):
And that was at 43 years old man.
It was 3 21 of 21.
And, um, I went to Haymarket, mywife took me, and I was supposed
to do a 28 day program.
And, um, I lasted a day and Iwalked out and the, the
counselor there said, you'regonna go home and you're gonna

(57:05):
get drunk.
And I said, no, ma'am.
I pulled out a picture of all mykids, my whole family, and I
said, now I'm gonna stay sober.
Didn't know how, didn't had no,how I found the rooms of
Alcoholics Anonymous man.
And, you know, I'm a 12 stepper.
Um, and that them 12 steps ledme to Christ man.
Mm.
And you know,'cause God, youknow, Christ was knocking the

(57:26):
whole time.
Man, I'm stubborn and we'll getto that too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is that, you know, um.
Second day sober.
I, I, I just met guys and, and,and, and they knew how I felt.
And the miracle thing about,it's even second, third day in,
I'm not having detoxes now.
I've been in every county jailaround here detoxing on the, on

(57:49):
the concrete man.
You know how that 26 is, man,like underneath the toilet, you
know?
Um, the most miraculous thing isthat I didn't get sick this
time.

Omar (57:59):
Wow.

Scott (58:00):
I asked God into my life now.
It wasn't through Christ at thattime.
Yeah.
It was like, I thought I couldhave this good, orderly
direction and, and I, I justlove God.
Right.
You know?
Um, but I'm getting to work.
I'm starting to work on allthese things in my life.
These character, uh, defects,they call'em and trying to get
that down.
But most of all is like, can Ibe, do I believe or am I able to

(58:23):
believe that there's this powerout there?

Omar (58:26):
Higher power.
Greater higher power greater

Scott (58:28):
than myself?
'cause again, I.
My, my dad was military and, andthree boys.
Like, you just did things.
You got it done.
Yes.
You, I know.
And, uh, for once in my life Iwas honest with myself.
And, and I believe, I believe,and that's when God started to
work in my life, you know, uh,where I could feel it.

(58:49):
At least, you know, I hadstarted, um, people in my life
didn't want to hear me talk,man.
They just wanted to see things.
Yeah.
But immediately all myrelationships got better
immediately, you know, I wasthat dude, I'm, I'm showing up
every day, man.
I'm going two to three meetings,you know, and, and I'm, I'm
around Christian brothers, man,you know, that were very patient

(59:10):
with me.
'cause I tested man, I, youknow, now I'm a year, uh, you
know, we'll just, we will fastforward through all the, all of
the work.

Omar (59:17):
So, so it's barely been a year that you started that, this
journey from uh, uh, 12 steps.

Scott (59:23):
Yes.
Okay.
So now that's 2021.
So now we'll go into 2022.
Okay.

Omar (59:27):
Okay.
Yeah, yeah,

Scott (59:27):
yeah.
So two, uh, yeah, 20, 22.
You know, now I'm, um, I'm doinghypnosis.
I'm doing meditations now'causeI'm an alcoholic drug addict,
you know, recovery, right?
Like, I start doing energyhealing and I wanna become a
reiki master.

Omar (59:45):
Well, what's that?

Scott (59:46):
Um, it's, it's intuitive, um, setting.
It's, it's energy healing.
Yeah.
So basically, um, depending onwho your reiki master is, is, is
bringing in their, uh, theiridols.
We'll call'em.
Right?
Like,

Omar (01:00:03):
yeah,

Scott (01:00:03):
my experience is good.
I have nothing but good thingsto say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Until I get to the Christianwalk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, I got you.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm feeling better.
Yeah.
I'm feeling.
Cleared, you know, like whatthey would call is your
shockers, right?
Like all my stuff is starting toline, like I'm feeling really

(01:00:24):
good.
I'm staying sober.
This obsession's been lifted.
Yeah, my relationships are good.
I'm going to work every day.
I'm starting to be able to paymy bills a little bit more on
time.
You know, like things are reallychanging in life, man.
'cause it was a wreck.
And, um, then my mom comes to meand, and yeah, that's 2022.
Mom says that, uh, she's gotmultiple myeloma and she's going

(01:00:48):
to do stem cell, uh, thing.
So now, now I want to back up,not back up, but also put in
there that my twin brother'ssober.
He's got sober a year before me.
Oh, okay.
'cause he got his own issue.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He ended up in court and hadsober up.
And he did.
And, and, and he did it his wayand, right, right, right.
I'm proud of that kid too.

(01:01:08):
Um, but, um, now, so now I'mgoing to meetings, I'm, I'm
helping others.
I'm even on the board ofdirectors out at the, at this
club there to go to Yeah.
And going to work and, and goingto help my mom, you know, and
just be there for my mom.
Now we're starting to have arelationship and, you know,
it's, things are good in life.
Yeah.
And, uh, but I just don't havethis peace, if that makes sense.

(01:01:33):
Like I'm still, I'm stillcertain things in life could not
trigger the use, but my anger,you know, um, still working
through things, you know, but,but I'm there for my ma and I
only mention that'cause in a fewminutes I'm gonna talk about
that piece.

Omar (01:01:50):
Okay.
Amen.

Scott (01:01:51):
You know, so at two, uh, 2022, um, going through that,
uh, new Year's ma, she startsher stem cells and it's
horrible.
It's horrible for my ma I, youknow, there's not curable
cancers, bone and blood cancer,so they're trying everything.
And my poor ma you know, so, sonow we're into 2023 and.

(01:02:13):
And now I'm a little over twoyears sober.
And, um, I, I would go out and,and do this daily surrender,
which now is prayer.
Right?
Okay.
Like I, I would go out and pray.
I'd spend time just in quiet innature.
And I got a call from my baby'smother at, uh, 5 0 2 on June
6th, 2023.

(01:02:35):
And by this time, my childsupport's over, God bless her.
She does her thing.
I'm doing mine, you know, likeit's my, uh, my daughter's 20
years old now, or our daughter's20 years old.
And, uh, at 5 0 2 in themorning, I get that call and I
already know, I already know.
I pick it up and I say hello,and, and she's like, I'm sorry.

(01:02:59):
I'm sorry for everything I saidabout you.
And I'm like, what are youtalking about?
And she said, Mercedes passedaway.
She died in a car wreck.
Your daughter.
Our daughter drinking anddriving.
So you were expecting the callfor your mom though, right?
Or it was my baby's mother thatcalled me.
So I knew, I knew, I knew righthere, right away.

(01:03:21):
Oh, I knew my child support wasover, you know what I mean?
Like that relationship kind ofended, right?
Like there it, so there was

Omar (01:03:28):
no need for communication still.

Scott (01:03:29):
Right At 5 0 2, it was right in my meditation time and,
and talking with God, you know?

Omar (01:03:34):
Man, what I was thinking is, I know you mentioned your
mom being sick.
That's, I thought that was thecall you were expecting, you
know, like, but man, you wouldthink, you would think, right.
I got you.
So, okay, so you get this callfrom your baby's mother, your
baby's mother, and said, man,what, what does that do to you?

Scott (01:03:52):
Man, I couldn't breathe, man.
I've been knocked out.
I've been my own brother stabbedme.
Been through some horrible stuffin life, man.
It was probably, I.
The worst minute of, of, ofjust, of, of the night before

(01:04:12):
she was on my mind.
And I know she, she wasstruggling financially, but
again, I'm, I'm still gettingoutta the rears mi and I didn't
call her man because, uh, Icouldn't help her with the money
that she wanted.
So I was gonna give it a coupledays till I got paid.
And, and uh, if somebody's onyour mind and it's in your heart

(01:04:34):
to call that person, don't wait.
'cause you might never get thatchance.
'cause that's what happened inmy life is that, um, I didn't
call her that night and shepassed away, man.
You know, she was in a horrificcar wreck, man.
80 miles an hour, just likethat.
Right?
Right into a tree.

Omar (01:04:50):
No way.

Scott (01:04:51):
Burned for 30 minutes, man.

Omar (01:04:53):
No way, man.

Scott (01:04:55):
Sorry to hear that.
That's so, so that was tough.
I went and woke up my wife andum, I went right to my sponsor
and my sponsors a Christian, andwe prayed, man.
And that was the beginning of myfinal surrender, you know?
Um, it wasn't, it wasn't thereyet.
Still.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was still, I was still gonnatest it, the beginning of it.
Yeah.
It was, I was still gonna testit, you know?

(01:05:17):
Um, I, I don't even know, kindof know where to go with that,
except for, uh, five weeks latermy mom passes, you know?
Um, at 67 years old.
Um, my brother and I were therewith my wife and, and there's a
lot of great things.
And, you know, there was a guy,he's, uh, he's my sponsor.
He is a big part of Mercedes AnnFoundation and, and that, but I

(01:05:41):
would look out at this brother,man, he'd be down in the parking
lot, praying, praying for mymom, praying for us.
I was like, wow, that's special.
Like, I never, I know my momprayed for her twins, well, her
whole family, but especially thetwins, you know, that she would
never have to bury'em, you know?
Mm-hmm.
And, and so we got to take careof my mom the last two weeks of

(01:06:01):
her life, you know?
And.
And, and administer morphine.
Like who would've ever thoughtthe twins would hold morphine
Right.
When and not take it, you know?
So it's a blessing, you know,uh, her, my, again, my mom was
Catholic, and so all of herpriests, I don't even know the
names of'em.
Yeah.
But they all came in, they gaveher last rights and, and she,

(01:06:22):
she, um, she struggled, um, likepain wise and stuff.
So it, it was the best thing isjust to keep her numb to all of
that.
And, um, watched her take herlast breath, man.
And, and I knew then she made itto heaven.
I knew she made it the kingdom,right?
Like it, that, that look thatshe had on her face, I, I knew

(01:06:44):
right then and there.
Um, that's something that Iwanted,'cause I'd watched her go
through all this pain and this,you know, misery and, I don't
know.
It was the most, I it is noteven bad, bro.
It was so.
Thank you Lord, man.

(01:07:06):
You know?
So a blessing man.
Yeah, a blessing.
And, uh, I'm only speaking formyself.
No, no, right.
I can't speak for everyone else.
Yeah.
Can't see, you know, that wasaround her, but my wife was, was
there and, and, uh, it wasamazing.
So that was, uh, in July.
So Sadie had passed in June,July, my mom passed, and then in
August, uh, this is all insobriety now.
It's, but I'm spending a lot oftime with God of my

(01:07:28):
understanding at that point.
Yeah.
I'm really, I'm connected, man.
I, you know, I'm no doing mybest not to judge people.
I'm not lying.
I, I, I got compassion.
I'm empathetic.
I'm helping people, like allthese good things.
I'm disciplined.
I'm aware of things.
I'm, I'm honest, bro.
For once I'm being honest in mylife.
So, um, my wife, uh, worked samejob 19 years and, uh, our lives

(01:07:54):
are built on our two incomes.
And, and you know, we.
We each to take care of thingsand Yeah.
And whatever.
And her mom has been watchingour kids ever since they were
babies.
And, uh, her mom got sick inAugust, so

Omar (01:08:08):
the same year.

Scott (01:08:09):
Oh yeah.
June, July, August.
Now.
So that devil's real, bro.
You know, when, when I, I usedto like, I never got it when
people be like, man, I'm gettingattacked.

Omar (01:08:18):
Yeah.

Scott (01:08:19):
I felt like I was getting attacked, man.
The, the devil wanted twin backman.
He wanted Scott back, you know,and, um, through

Omar (01:08:25):
pain, right?
Yeah,

Scott (01:08:28):
man.
Your whole

Omar (01:08:28):
life was pain.
Pain, man.
Pain drove you to that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pain after pain, after pain,

Scott (01:08:33):
pain.
And, uh, I, I turned my back on,on Satan, man.
On, on the devil man.
I, uh, I was walking with, withthe father at that point, even
though I, yeah, yeah.
I still hadn't, you know, calledthe father Hadn surrendered to
the Lord.
Uh, but my wife, we had to makea decision who would, um, who
would stay at work, you know,she was.

(01:08:56):
Paying my part of my taxes.
She carried our healthinsurance.
My money at that time wasstarting to be a little bit
better, but she was alsobringing home x amount of money
each month.
And I dunno how we were gonna doit, man.
We got three boys, mortgages,trucks, insurance, all this, you
know, you get it.
And, uh, we decided to, to lether leave her job after 19

(01:09:19):
years.
And, and I would, um, continuedoing what I do Yeah.
And looking for opportunity and,and everything.
Right.
That's what I mean.
Everything.
Yeah.
Uh, legal.
Legal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right, right.
Legally legit.
Like, um, just not waste time,man.
Yeah.
And um, so yeah, that was thethree months of, uh, I leaned on

(01:09:42):
the Lord, bro.
I leaned on the Lord.
Even though I would go out toplaces and I'd be like, I'd
leave my house and I'd be like,Hey, I'm going to, I'm gonna
find Jesus.
And my wife was rooting for me.
Because my wife was praying, youknow, um, I didn't know it at
that time, but she was prayingthat I would just find the Lord.

(01:10:03):
And, um,

Omar (01:10:04):
now, was she a believer?

Scott (01:10:05):
She is, yes.
Absolutely.
Okay, so prior

Omar (01:10:07):
to you

Scott (01:10:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But we didn't have, but wedidn't do church and she, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
Sorry.
She, uh, we weren't like goingto church.
We weren't practicing, but shewas praying.
Okay.
You know, again, we got marriedin the Catholic church and her,
it's, it's different now.

Omar (01:10:24):
Gotcha.
So, so she was, um, so your wifegrew up Catholic?
Yeah, absolutely.
So she knew about Jesus?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
She

Scott (01:10:31):
was definitely Jesus.
So she was praying to Jesus andYeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now, so I would go out to thesespots, man, and I'd be like,
Jesus, man, show me if you'rereal, show me and I'm talking.
I could go out on a dark,cloudy, rainy day, and when I
say that and I would hold myhands up, this little bit of
light would come right on myforehead.
I'm not kidding, bro.

(01:10:53):
I'd be like, I mean, it wouldhit me right here.
I'd be like, nah, nah.
I'd get in my truck, first car Iwould see license plate J
Christ.
Like, nah, man, dude.
Yes.
Yeah,

Omar (01:11:06):
yeah, yeah.
Builder.

Scott (01:11:07):
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
So you get it, you get it.
And, um, you know, it, Isurrendered.
Mm, I surrendered.
And it looks a lot different inthat surrender in, in the end
of, I'm trying to think.
So we're in 25 now, about 20,24.
Okay.
Is when it really, you know, um,life started to change, man.

(01:11:31):
Yeah.
You know, I, I could say JesusChrist, I could, I could say
Lord without leaving it a badtaste in my mouth.
Yeah.
I had a lot of pride and a lotof ego man, that, um, that I put
down and, um, I would starttalking with the father, you
know, and.
And just start praying, likelearning how to pray.

(01:11:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it was just, my heart hadalready been changed.
I started to get filled with theHoly Spirit and I, dude, I was,
I was moving, Lord was, was inme, and he was leading the way.
Man.
I, again, my wife lost her job.
And, and all of this, I mean,that summer, I, so, mind you,

(01:12:13):
through all my 18 years withthis company, I worked every day
pretty much.
When I got sober, I asked themto cut me down to five days a
week.

Omar (01:12:20):
Okay.

Scott (01:12:20):
Because I would work six and sometimes seven.
I, that's whole summer off, youknow, between going to Michigan
to grab Sadie's remains andmom's journey and my wife, like
the money wasn't there, but theLord always provided.

Omar (01:12:36):
Wow.

Scott (01:12:36):
And I would thank him.
I never, I leaned on my faith,bro.

Omar (01:12:39):
Amen.

Scott (01:12:41):
I thank God.
I thank God for the time we hadand I, you know, I had
confessed, I had.
I had repented, I had beenhonest, man.
And, and my heart was soft atthat time, man.
Yes.
And it was no longer, again,like, it didn't leave a bad
taste in my mouth like it did mywhole life, man.
I was mad at God forever.

(01:13:02):
Yeah.
You know?
Um, I'm grateful, man.
Amen.
Because, uh, it's only by God'sgrace, man.

Omar (01:13:12):
Yes, sir.
It's

Scott (01:13:12):
all glory to God.
And, and, and I, and I thank thefather for always having his
hand on me and in Christ, man,and, and believing in that
trinity and, and theresurrection and, you know, all
of that.
That today is very powerful inmy life.
Amen.

Omar (01:13:26):
I,

Scott (01:13:26):
I'm getting more into scripture and, and, and, and my
wife and I will read the Bible,but I've started, uh, Bible
studies and with guys, andEddie, you, you talked about
Eddie.
Yes.
Shout out to Eddie, bro.
Amen.
That's my man.
You know, he's, he's one of themguys that I've watched and he
knew me four years ago.
When I wasn't a believer.
Okay,

Omar (01:13:46):
gotcha.

Scott (01:13:46):
All of that, man.
So I, I don't think he's evertold me, but I think he was
rooting for me, you know, but hewas one of'em dudes that, um, he
was solid man and still is.
So now we've, we've really, youknow, we work together.

Omar (01:13:59):
Got got willing.
We're gonna have him on thepodcast.
Absolutely.
We're supposed get here, gettogether.
Yeah.
Eddie's got a heck of a

Scott (01:14:04):
testimony, man.
Uh, it's a lot different thanmine.
Yeah.
Uh, but, and yours is differentthan, like, that's the cool
thing about it is, is God usesall of us in, in so many
different ways, man.
And I get it today.
I'm not from the streets eventhough I ended up on the
streets, right.
Like I'm, it's,

Omar (01:14:21):
you know what I think we, we, we, we, we could relate and
especially a lot of people, Ibelieve that hear your story
gonna relate to, to the trauma.
The trauma and everything, man.
That, that, that, that, that'swhy one thing, uh, that this,
um, doing this podcast hasopened my eyes to is that it's
easy to judge somebody when yousee the end result.
When you see somebody behindbars, oh man, these are

(01:14:43):
absolutely, he's a criminal,he's an animal.
But then, you know what, I, I'vebeen sitting down and talking to
guys and they share theirjourney, their childhood things
that had childhood,

Scott (01:14:51):
that, that wrong, wrong choice.

Omar (01:14:53):
Yeah.
And, and not even the wrongchoice, but what was done to
them Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Into doing.
Yeah.
That leads into all this, youknow, like, it is, like, you,
you don't know their journey.
You don't know what led'emthere.
What,

Scott (01:15:05):
yeah.
I learned to pray for guys.
I, I learned to pray for sickpeople in my life.
That it wasn't part of it, itwasn't me.
It was their journey.
You know?
Uh, again, I'm super gratefultoday, uh, that the Lord let me
experience so many differenthomes, so many different states.
I mean, I didn't even talk aboutthe fishing that you do with my
brothers, like we were outdoorskids.

(01:15:26):
And like that was part of thatjourney too.
You know, it's just, um.
I experienced a lot in life,man.
Lot all around the country, youknow?
You know, I wanted

Omar (01:15:34):
to ask you, I know you got this paper.
I don't know if it's a good timeto talk about this or, oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
You, you, you wanna share it?
'cause I, I know you mentionedyour, your, your daughter and
then this.
Yeah, absolutely.
Uh oh.
But is there something youwanted to share before that,
before this?
Uh, so,

Scott (01:15:46):
uh, just 20, 24, I just, you know, I just really want to,
uh,'cause I know my wife isgonna watch this and, and, um,
it's all glory to the fatherand, and that we, we have joy in
our home today.
We, um, I love my kids.
My kids love me, my wife lovesme.
Um, she came to me, it tookthree years.
My wife tells me she trusts metoday.

(01:16:08):
Amen.
Because, uh, I wasn't atrustworthy guy, man.
Yeah.
You know, so if you're, ifyou're newly on that walk, time
takes time, man.
That's the, that's what I cansay is time takes time and.
And, um, if, if you're like me,uh, words don't mean anything,
man.
So it is having to show up and,and staying in action and, um,

(01:16:31):
admit when I'm wrong.
It's still tough sometimes, butI find I'm not doing it so
often, bro.
Man.
So it's, it's, you

Omar (01:16:39):
know what, uh, I heard somebody say this Walk with God.
Yes.
It's not about perfection, it'sabout progress.
Yeah.
Progress, not perfection.
Yeah.
You know, where we're constantlymaking progress.
He's constantly working in usand like you said, it's less and
less Right.
That

Scott (01:16:53):
man, it's less and less again that spirit's on fire.
Amen.
You know, that's spirit's onfire and, and you'll, if you're
like me, um, you get around goodbrothers man and, and sisters
man.
Yeah.
That are in the word and, andthat their prayer life is real.
'cause I'm a prayer man.
Okay.
Even sometimes it's not out, outloud.
It's, it's, it's, it's communionwith God all day.

(01:17:15):
You know, just, uh.
Yeah.
I'm happy, Joyce.
I'm free today, man.
Amen.
And, and I thank, thank thefather.
Um, but I just wanna say nogood.
Yeah.
I just wanted to say, uh, to mywife that, um, you know, I love
her today.
Um, yeah, she's a rock man.

Omar (01:17:32):
Mm-hmm.

Scott (01:17:33):
And God knew, has that plan.
Had that plan.
Yeah.
And, and I thank, I thank God,man,

Omar (01:17:39):
I, I, I think about that, that you had that picture up
there.
You, you guys weren't eventogether and you said, man,
nothing.
One day I'm gonna marry thatwoman, man.

Scott (01:17:46):
And so, yeah, we'll be married, uh, this year, 18
years, man.
Wow.
Look at that.
But only by the grace of God,man, the grace of God that she,
she stuck around,

Omar (01:17:53):
you know what I'm saying?
I'm sure there was plenty.
I know you mentioned that onetime she was getting ready to
leave and I'm sure there had afew be a few instances
throughout your whole

Scott (01:18:00):
Oh man.
It was, it was constant man.
Yeah.
There for a few years.
It was constant.
Like I, I'd come home and she'djust be crying.
So she's on her healing journey.
She's, she's doing great things.
Uh, so she's a breath workfacilitator man, and that, so
whoa, whoa,

Omar (01:18:15):
whoa.
What's that?
Uh,

Scott (01:18:15):
uh, so she does faith-filled breath work, so if
you guys wanna do somefaith-filled breath work,
please, uh, do well, what isthat?
I'm not familiar with that.
Right?
Yeah.
So it's, uh, reset breath work,so it's praise music and she
gets, I usually, it's about 15or 20 of us together and, and we
breathe.
So it's a three part breathe.
So it's a, it's a belly chest,passive exhale.

(01:18:37):
And I've never done that.
Yeah.
Well, you're gonna come out andyou're gonna do one your wife
life.
Lemme know.
Lemme know.
Yeah.
No, for real.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And you guys do

Omar (01:18:43):
that with, with worship music you said Praise music.
Yeah, absolutely.
All

Scott (01:18:46):
praise music, man.
Yeah, it's cool.
We're, we're actually trying toget her into like DuPage, uh,
county.
I really want to get her withthe just, uh, Mike Berry.
And, uh, so I just talked to himMendrick last night.
I invited them out actually.
Uh, him and his wife and, and soI hope that you guys come out
for the end of the month one,um, right, yeah.
Yeah.
It's a tool for these guys, bro.

(01:19:07):
Amen.
It's to breathe.
It's our breath.
God gives us our breath.
Yes.
Like, it's just, we gotta learnhow to use it properly.

Omar (01:19:15):
What, what, what are the effects for somebody, like, I
know you mentioned you guysgotta check it out.
Why, why, why, why should theygo check it out?
Yeah, go ahead.
Okay.
So

Scott (01:19:22):
we're gonna, uh, uh, well, because she can explain it
a lot better than me, but I doknow that we bury so much in
life that we don't even knowwe're carrying sometimes, you
know, we think we're, we're freeand we have this relationship,
but.
Again, I've shared some thingsthat I'm free from, but there

(01:19:42):
was times when I was just soburied.
I didn't know how, like, I'vewatched people cry.
I've watched people scream.
I've watched people giggle.
I've watched people laugh me.
Like I'm just, I'm just freewhen I breathe now.

Omar (01:19:55):
Amen.

Scott (01:19:55):
When I do it, when we sit there and, and so we're doing it
one Sunday when, when we do itSunday, uh, I'm not so cluttered
anymore.
Again, you know, I, I walk thewalk today.
Mm, thank you Lord.
You know, like I'm pretty free.
Amen.
So I'm able just to enjoy it,but it, it's a trip, man.
It's, it's healing.
Um, I've had nothing but goodthings to say and a lot of my

(01:20:17):
friends and, and, and strangersand just members in the
community are really gettinginto it.
And, and again, we just want tointroduce, introduce it to the
uh, uh, guys in custody.
Gotcha.
You know, and women too.
'cause you know, obviously shecould facilitate it too to women
for women because it's just atool in that Yeah.
For them just to.
To help, man.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude, it's awesome.

(01:20:37):
We release some of that

Omar (01:20:38):
stuff.
You, you, you mentioned, I knowa, a lot of people carry a, a
baggage man, and we just,especially, uh, as men, we could
be, uh, what is the word?
The stuffers.
Stuffers, yeah.
We stuff down and man, I I'm, I,I don't wanna feel that, you
know, I'm not gonna, yeah.
I'm just gonna bury it and man,I'm gonna call it out right now.
It's like you, you, you everwatch Seinfeld?
Yeah.
Wrote up a serenity Now.

(01:20:58):
Serenity.
Serenity.
Now what they say Serenity nowand sanity later, man.
That's how it is, man.
Unfortunately, man, we, yeah, goahead.

Scott (01:21:04):
Yeah.
All, you know, I don't knowwho's watching this, but I, I
hope that this hitch is, isbecause like when we start
stuffing stuff and we becomethese people that we're not,
like, then we become this, this,this tough hurt kid.
Like, and it's just a mask.

(01:21:24):
And it's okay not to be a hard,a hard dude on the streets.
Like I.
If that makes sense to you.
Like when we're young.
No, it doesn't.
Makes sense.
We, we, we, we, we think wegotta be the hardest dude on the
block or, or and you know,wherever you come from.
And I get it, some areas aretougher and you gotta just in
generally speaking, be yourself,man.
Yeah.

(01:21:45):
Be what God created us to be.
You know?
And, and, and that's to love oneanother.
And, and you can't love oneanother when you got this hard
Yeah.
Facade up all the time and Yeah.
Just clear that junk.
Yeah.
You know

Omar (01:21:57):
what I, I think, uh, this, this podcast interview, I'll
probably release it probably inMay.
So, uh, this coming Monday, I'mgetting ready to release one,
another one that I did inKiwani.
I still got two interviews left.
Oh, nice.
That haven't released.
Dumb are really cool, man.
Yeah, yeah.
Good things.
So the, the, the brother that'scoming up, I, I know you
mentioned this about being hardand you know, having this the
bro, I was listening to it guy,so I'm getting ready to edit it

(01:22:18):
and he said this brother wassentenced to 60 years, so he had
to do 30.
He ends up catching more time'cause he's in there.
Oh yeah.
Got this status.
He wants to make a name forhimself in prison.
But he said, I love this story.
He said, I get locked in thecell.
I'm watching Discovery Channel,watching some puppy show.
And he said, he starts almosttearing up watching the puppies.

(01:22:40):
They're like, man, look it,they're so cute.
But then he said, as soon asthat door pops, it all
different.
He's like, I gotta step on the,on the gallery, on the deck and
be a killer.
And then he, he said like, man,there's something wrong.
Something's not right with me.
And man, it's, that's a toughspot to be in, man.
Man, I, I, I love how real thatis.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, this is a man who hadlike, status, you know, whatever

(01:23:03):
he was doing in there, out inthe street and in there.
And then, man, that, that thingthat explains what you're
talking about.
Yeah,

Scott (01:23:09):
absolutely.
100%, man.
Like, you know, and, and whenyou're doing that and you're
carrying that, you know, whetherit's on the, the gallery, the
tier or, or just out on thestreet, like when that person
driving and they, they make youupset, you react differently.
When your heart's not soft, man.
Yeah.
You're not carrying that loveand that compassion.

(01:23:31):
You're not walking the walk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That Christian walk that.
Yeah.
Like if you, you wake up and youpray and you say you're grateful
for opportunities and, and thenthe first opportunity you get,
you blow it.
Come on, man.
Yeah.
You do some really crazy things,man.
So, hey,

Omar (01:23:47):
you, you know what I want to ask you?
'cause I know you mentioned, youknow, calling out to Jesus Yes.
Over a year ago or something.
Mm-hmm.
But you said that two months agosomething changed.
Yeah, absolutely.
You, you, you, you, you, youwanna talk about that.
What, what, what happenedrecently, I guess.
Well,

Scott (01:23:59):
and so yeah.
That leads up into the last yearof RTO kind of Okay.
You know, walking in them doors.
So I guess to talk about RT is,yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Is how I ended up at RTO isthat, um, our connect, my
connection with Mercedes wasonce after all the courts, and
that is, we went out and fishedthe girl, loved to fish, man.
And, and we talked about, and wechopped it up.

(01:24:21):
I mean, more.
Uh, more at eight years old, wewould talk about than, uh, than
I'd talk about with my15-year-old, if that makes
sense.
Like it was freedom for us.
We got a fishing rod in ourhand, we went outdoors, you
know, we spent a lot of time, itwas life before like cell phones
and, and all that took over, youknow, so we really connected.
And, um, so she was, you know,no longer with us.

(01:24:43):
It is like, how do we carry onthis legacy, you know?
Uh, because sh she, I know, Iknow for a fact that my absence
impacted my daughter's life forthe first few years, you know,
fatherless homes.
And, and, and this ain't abouther mom, but her mom would have
to do whatever she had to dowith all the kids and, and you

(01:25:05):
know, these, these, thesechildren that are, are in
Mercedes situations.
Like she was, it was, they'rejust silent victims in this man.
Yeah.
And you know, they.
Have to fend for themselves alot of times, or they don't get
to go on spring break, theydon't have any luxuries like
normal households have, youknow?
And, uh, and so I had to thinkabout that.

(01:25:26):
And then my mom, you know,again, she passed right after
that.
She was talking aboutvolunteering, but my mom wasn't
going home.
My mom wasn't, uh, but the Lordwas, was using my ma to plant
that seed.
And so, uh, that's how theMercedes and Foundation was, was
founded.
Uh, I started talking with thelady and she actually went and

(01:25:47):
prayed and, um, she was a memberat Compass Church in Wheaton
where RTO is.
Yes.
And she helped me set up the 5 01 C3.
We're a nonprofit.
And, uh, and, and, and what ourmission is, is, is to get kids
outdoors that have been impactedby a parent's incarceration.
We get'em outdoors to educate,to grow emotionally and

(01:26:07):
spiritually.
So we're, we're doing fishingevents, fishing clinics, start
bible studies at our foundation.
So now we have an office on thelake.
It's, it's a little over 2000square feet.
We just had, uh, 15 kids outthis last Saturday, and we had,
uh, 12 volunteers from theLutheran Church out in, in
Wheaton most amazing day.
You know, everyone else is onspring break, but not, not the

(01:26:30):
kids impacted by on, on this,you know?
And it was powerful, man.
It was beautiful, man.
That's

Omar (01:26:36):
awesome.

Scott (01:26:36):
Yeah.
So, uh, so the, you know, we'regrowing.
We look a lot different than wedid last year, and obviously now
we have this space since lastJuly, and, and it's, the Lord
has put it on my heart and, and,and the Lord.
Um, Honestly has led this, takescare of it.
Um, buttons everything up forus.
Like, I mean, it's not me man.
It's, um, I tried to put it slowit down.

(01:26:59):
People would be like, man,you're over your skis, twin, you
know, all this stuff.
And I'd be like, you know, whenyou, back in the day when you
were doing something wrong, Ialways knew right from wrong,
man.
I always did.
So when I stepped out on thatwrong, I got this, uh, this was
different man.
This time I knew what was rightand I tried to slow it down and
the Lord said, Uhuh that spirit.
No.

(01:27:20):
So I just, you know, he, he, heput me in situations, he put me
in rooms with people that Icould have never imagined I'd
talk to today, man.

Omar (01:27:28):
Amen.

Scott (01:27:29):
And, um, yeah, the, we don't get any support except
for, uh, like no outsidesupport.
So no grants or.
And we get all local support andpeople that believe in us, you
know?
And so this is,

Omar (01:27:41):
oh man, first of all, man, praise God for what you're
doing.
That's awesome.
Praise.
Yeah.

Scott (01:27:45):
Thank you.

Omar (01:27:45):
Because

Scott (01:27:46):
I love

Omar (01:27:46):
the

Scott (01:27:46):
outdoors, man.
Oh man.
So we're gonna hook up.
Oh no, definitely, man.
Uh,

Omar (01:27:50):
uh, growing up, I remember when I was little one time
growing fishing with my unclewhen I never forgot it.
Man.
Man, you know, I grew up inChicago my whole life and it
wasn't until I got born againand I got saved that I always
had a desire for the outdoors.
So once I had my kids, man, wediscovered hiking, love, hiking,

(01:28:11):
okay.
Fishing.
You know, we're, I'm not anexpert, but man, we'd be
catching some fish, man.
We just, you'd be catching Tiethe hook, throw it out there.
Alright.
It's a date, brother.
You know what I'm saying?
A now for real.
Yeah, for real.
But, but, but speaking of that,uh, I know you mentioned we
don't get a lot of support.
Do you guys have a website orsomewhere where people could
donate or contribute?
Absolutely.
Yes.
It's, uh, Mercedes,

Scott (01:28:30):
uh, it's Mercedes and foundation.org.
Um.
We can, we are outta Wheaton.

Omar (01:28:36):
How do you spell that?
Can you spell that?
So just in case they gotta typeit up?

Scott (01:28:39):
It's, yes.
M-E-R-S-A-D-E-S-A-N-Nfoundation.org.
Uh, we're out of, uh, Wheaton,Illinois, 6 0 180 7.
Uh, we're a 5 0 1 C3 and, uh,we're doing, we're doing the
Lord's work, man.
You know, it's, it's kingdomwork, you know, it's, um, it's,

(01:29:01):
it touches me, man.
Yeah, it touches me.
You know.
So, really quick to, becauseI'll forget.
No, go ahead.
But Miss Michelle.
So, miss Michelle, she has anonprofit in town and she's the
one that helped set this up.
After she heard me talking aboutstuff, she's like, oh, you got
something here.
And that's how it all started.
But she's like, I.
I really think you should meetthe somebody, and, and again,

(01:29:21):
she's at Compass Church andthat's where RTO is at.
Yeah.
And uh, she's like, you shouldmeet this guy.
I think he could really help youout on, on the children, because
Scott's idea is like, oh, kidsare gonna come out of the
woodwork and people are gonnatrust you with kids.
Like, it's not that way.
So I, you know, it's, it's beena grind on that aspect, but
it's, it's coming together.
It's just, it keeps showing upand it's, it's that love.

(01:29:42):
It's the compassion.
And I talk to everybody aboutthe foundation.
I'm in front of homeowners allday.
I'm always talking, notnecessarily about roof, but I'm
talking about foundation work,you know?
Um, but, and, uh, so she's like,Hey, can you meet me there on
Thursday night?
And this was last year.
And like, yeah, we'll meet thisguy.
And, and so now I'm, I'mtrusting in the Lord, but it's

(01:30:07):
still all fresh.
It's new, it's, it's, you know,I'm not really, I feel like I'm,
I'm going to church, but I'm notreally.
Vibing yet, you know, I'm stillkind of being like, I'm, I'm
still closed off a little bit.
I'm still not ready to let itall out.
'cause I'm, I'm in the suburbs.
It's, these people aren't likemy past and that, you know, so

(01:30:29):
I'm kind of reserved, so.

Omar (01:30:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.

Scott (01:30:31):
Uh, but I, I walked in right before I walked into
Compass Church and RTO thatfirst night, uh, miss Michelle
called me and said she couldn'tgo.
Something came up and she'ssorry, but she couldn't go.
But I was already there, so I, Iput a name tag on and, and, and
I hear that,

Omar (01:30:48):
oh yeah, yeah.

Scott (01:30:50):
You know, he said, I didn't even know what it was at
first.
Yeah.
I'm like, and now I get itright.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I'm like, whoa.
Um, like, it was intimidating tome, like, so I sat on the back
row, right.
Like, dude, I'm trying to walkthis Christian walk, bro.
Yeah.
And it was just, it was a, itwas a little much, I had never
experienced anything like that.
I'd never walked into a roomlike that.

(01:31:10):
And it was, it was packed.

Omar (01:31:12):
Yeah.

Scott (01:31:12):
And I stayed about five minutes and it's not'cause I
didn't enjoy it, I said, but ifI'm here and, and I'm who I say
I am.
I, I really, I need to go pray.
I need to, I need to work on myrelationship.
I need to, um, again, just prayon it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just gotta pray on it.
I gotta, I gotta get morespiritually connected, I felt

(01:31:34):
like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If I was, if I was gonna pray onit and, and go talk to Manny
Mills, it was gonna take morethan what I felt that night.
Yeah.
It took nine months, man.
It took me nine months to comeback.

Omar (01:31:46):
Wow.
What, what happened that madeyou go back nine months later?

Scott (01:31:51):
Uh, because, uh, just shortly before that is really
when I made the decision.
Now I didn't, that wasn't wheremy baptism or anything had was
is, is just, I accepted JesusChrist as my Lord and Savior.
But it was still kind of like onthe fence kind.
It wasn't a solid rock solid.
Um.

(01:32:11):
Foundation, I guess, you know, Ibelief, but I didn't really
believe, like I had the belief,but if I was out in public and
you asked me about Jesus, Iwould, you know?
Gotcha.
I'm good, man.
You know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, no, I'm all in brother.
You know, like today, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, so I had to work on that,man.
Yeah.
I had to, um, I, I, I, I startedto hit my knees.
I put my, that pride and thatego went aside.

(01:32:32):
'cause before that, for years,literally every day I would take
cold plunges and I wouldsurrender and make sure my feet
were on the earth.
And that's how I would talk toGod.
And I would never hit my knees.
'cause I was, I was too good forthat, right?
Like, the day I hit my knees,bro, covered by that blood man,

(01:32:52):
like, it was so peaceful.
I got this peace that I hadnever, ever once had in my life,
man, just by hitting my nieceand amen.
And making that honest surrenderin my life and, and really
believing, you know?
And, and, and I, I, I told theLord to use me.
And, um, that's what he's done.

(01:33:15):
So, so I went back into RTO thistime by myself.
I prayed on it, took a deepbreath, I put a name tag on,
and, and, and I said, Lord, if,if this is, if this is your
will,'cause I was my wife.
There was people in my life thatwe're with this.
'cause again, this happenedreally quick, bro.

(01:33:35):
Yeah.
And it, it started, it grew likeeven after our second event now
talking about an office on thelake and it was big money and,
you know, we're broke, bro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, like when it comes tothat.
Yeah.
And, uh, I said, God, if this isyour will, let it be done.
And I put that name tag on andthere's a sea of people in

(01:33:57):
there, bro.
And, and you know the RTO Jim?

Omar (01:33:59):
Yeah.

Scott (01:33:59):
Yeah.
They're, they're mix and match.
I put my name tag on, I look upand for no reason'cause it
wasn't time to start orwhatever, I.
The sea of people, just likeMoses split.
And on the other end of that wasManny Mills.
I said, thank you, Lord.
And I, I marched right towardshim, introduced myself.

(01:34:22):
He, he said, oh, yeah, yeah.
And he said, you're gonna sitright here.
So I sat on the front, he sat inthe front, man.
And that was the beginning.
That was the beginning.
And, um, what a connection, youknow?
Um, I love that man.
About a week later, um, we arepraying, man, he a big shout out

(01:34:42):
to you, brother.
Yes, yes, definitely.
Pastor Mania Miller.
He's a blessing my life as well,man.
He is, uh, we prayed.
I'm, I'm walking through, I'm,I'm at work, but I'm in
Mariano's, in Wheaton.
And, uh, um, I hear this, Scott,and, and nobody sounds like,
man, at least not in my life,man, I'm like, and I'm half deaf
anyway.
Yeah.

(01:35:02):
I'm like, I'm not sure.
You know, so I keep walking andhe's like, Scott, and uh, I'm
like, oh, Manny.
And now if you're, if you're notopen to prayer, like, man, he
prays, it can be a littleuncomfortable.

Omar (01:35:18):
Yeah.

Scott (01:35:19):
You know, I'm, I don't come from a a, a place where we
just openly pray, you know?
I do now, but he is like, afterour talk, he's, you know,'cause
we had a good few minute talkand he's like, can I say say a
short prayer with you?
This is inside the store.
Inside the store, man.
Yeah.
We're in front of the checkoutlines and everything.
I'm not gonna say no, you know?
Yeah,

Omar (01:35:39):
yeah, yeah.

Scott (01:35:39):
Uh, and it was powerful, man.
His short prayers last abouteight minutes, man.

Omar (01:35:46):
Yeah.
I love you brother.

Scott (01:35:48):
Uh, and, uh, you know, we were praying and, uh, I just
felt it, man.
I just, just peace man.
Amen.
And love and amen.
And, and the truth because I, I,I worry about the truth, man.
I don't wanna be around fakepeople today.
And, and that's just what it is.
And, um, mm-hmm.
Dude, we get done praying and alady comes up and she's like,

(01:36:12):
that's the most beautiful thingI've ever seen.
And see two men praying, like,and she was serious.
And Yeah.
And then Manny lets out his,yeah.
And he's loud.
Hallelujah.
And, and, and Barb comes up,she's like, what are you, you
know, she knew what we weredoing, but what are you doing?
We gotta go here and there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And before that, another ladycomes up and she's like, man, I
just want you to know prayer'sreal, and it's powerful to watch

(01:36:33):
the you two man.
And she's like, before I cameinto the store, I prayed with my
husband on the phone.
And, and I knew right then andthere that the Lord had put us
together.
Yes.
You know?
Um, because I, I, I need to bemens, I I I need to be discipled
because Yeah.
I, I'm, I feel it.
I walked it.

Omar (01:36:53):
Yeah.

Scott (01:36:54):
I just need to know it.

Omar (01:36:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scott (01:36:56):
And so, um, yeah, he's been patient with me.
Um, yeah.
I love him man.
Amen.
And so, um.

Omar (01:37:03):
And that's been recently, that's the, the last couple
months.
Yeah.

Scott (01:37:06):
Yeah.
So that's, uh, no, well, uh,October-ish.
Okay.
And then, yeah, so October, butthen, um, yeah, it leads me up
to our, my baptism.
Okay.
You know, publicly, um, man, I'msharing with everybody to, I
love, I have for Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Amen.
My Lord and Savior man.
And um, and that was evenpowerful in itself, man.
Um, the guy that baptized me,and I'm sorry, Manny,'cause

(01:37:30):
Manny was, he, I don't know ifhe's upset, that's probably the
wrong word, but he came to me,he's like, I, I really wanted to
baptize you, man, but I never,like my, my never, you know, so,
right.
Um, but I'm a roofer in townand, and about it was end of
last year, I ended up at thisguy's house and I had no idea
that he was part of the GlenEllen Bible Church and that he

(01:37:50):
was an elder or any of thisstuff, or, you know, I'm looking
at a roof.
Is that, where

Omar (01:37:55):
is that where you go?
Glen Ellen?

Scott (01:37:56):
Yeah.
Glen El Bible Church.
Yep.
It's sl.
Where, where's that at?
It's, um, downtown Glen Ellen.
Okay.
Uh, right off of Roosevelt and,uh, main Street.
So literally before Compass,like if you're coming down
Roosevelt going west, it'sbefore Compass.
Gotcha.
On the, on the right down there.
Beautiful church.
Great.
Uh, my kids all do theirministry youth ministries there.

(01:38:17):
Great church.
Um, I feel very welcome even.
Amen.
You know, even though I'd saidearlier, it was kind of tough
for me to say it was still me.
Yeah.
I,

Omar (01:38:27):
yeah, I, I'm, I'm glad you said that.
'cause a lot of times it's us.
Yeah.
A lot.
My wife tells me that I do thata lot.
Yeah.
Like I tell her, I go somewhere.
I go somewhere and I tell man,you see how they're looking at
you?
Yeah.
They're looking.
Yeah,

Scott (01:38:38):
yeah, yeah.
Absolutely, man.
And my wife,

Omar (01:38:41):
my wife's like, ain't nobody looking at you.
At you.
Yeah.

Scott (01:38:43):
We're not that important, bro.

Omar (01:38:47):
We were, we were in La Grange just last, last Saturday.
We went to, she had some frozenyogurt and I'm sitting there and
I see some people go to thewindow and they, I'm sitting
right by the window looking out.
And I see the people looking,they look at me and I see the
guy talking to his wife, and inmy mind I'm thinking, oh,
they're not coming in.
'cause they're looking at me.
I always like, man, you, she'slike, you, you don't look scary

(01:39:08):
to nobody.
Yeah.
You right.
We should build it up though,bro.
Yeah, you right.
Yeah.
Amen.
So I'm glad I'm not the onlyone,

Scott (01:39:15):
you know?
Um, so yeah.
Where was I going with that?
Glen Allen, Bible Churchbaptism.
Yep.
Uh, so this, I ended up atJohn's house doing a, looking at
a roof repair.
And before, after we got donewith that, before I left, he's
like, we're in his driveway.
He's like, can we pray?
I'm like, sure.
He's the one that baptized me atGlen Allen Bible.

(01:39:35):
That's how God, yeah.
Yeah.
Put us together months later.
Um, and so he made this reallycool, uh, journal and stuff out
of the pictures, man.
It was powerful, man.
Amen.
You know, I, I had all, all myclose friends.
Um, I don't have much family.
My dad moved away after my mompassed and my brothers are gone.
My brothers.
Not a believer.

(01:39:56):
I pray for him.

Omar (01:39:57):
Amen.
I

Scott (01:39:57):
love him.
I talk to him a lot.
Uh, my other brother that livesin Indianapolis is, is, is a
Christian.
Uh, but it was all family andfriends and, and Manny and Barb
showed up and, and you know,John that, um, sings with Jim.
Sometimes they play.
I know.

Omar (01:40:13):
Was he at that meeting?
Was it the RTO meeting where youwere there?
Absolutely.
He, yes.
They led some awesome worshipman, so, well who was John?
Was he the one that made his ownsong?
Yes.

Scott (01:40:23):
Man,

Omar (01:40:24):
that's that my guy.
I recorded it.
That's my brother man.
Is he?

Scott (01:40:26):
I've known him for about four years.
Man.
That was outside of RTO.

Omar (01:40:29):
That was a beautiful song that.
He, he wrote, I'm gonna send itto you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll send, it'll send to you.
You know what, I'll, I'll, I'llput the link when I share this
video.
Yeah.
Oh, on YouTube, you know,YouTube and the, and the
description.
Yes.
You could put links.
So I'll definitely tag, tag up.
Definitely.
It's on my

Scott (01:40:44):
playlist.
I think as of last week, theysaid, Hey, I think we made like
two and a half cents off a your,your shares.
I literally shared a song witheverybody.
The do rolling in man.
Uh, you know, uh, you know, Ijust love people today.
Amen.
Man, I, I, I have compassion inmy life, man.
Uh, and the Lord never

Omar (01:41:07):
gave up, man.
You, you know, I wanna go backto something you said.
Yeah.
Earlier you said people wouldtell you that, man, your future
is like, I already, ah, you knowwhat I'm saying?
What, what would you say tosomebody who's been told that,
you know what I'm saying?
They, they never

Scott (01:41:21):
give up.
Never give up.
Don't, um, I, I know it can betough.
You can.
You can be walking in the, inthat deep valley man of, of
despair and, and work on yourrelationship with Jesus Christ.
You know, Jesus died for me.
Jesus died for your sins.
Like, I mean, I don't know howelse to put it except for, man,

(01:41:47):
there's a seat at this table,man.
There's a seat at this tablewaiting on if you're in that
man, and, and, and, and you askthe Lord into your life, man.
And your life changes.
Your heart changes your, yourwalk changes.
I, you know, um,

Omar (01:42:04):
you know what I,'cause if Yeah,

Scott (01:42:05):
go ahead.

Omar (01:42:06):
I, I just wanna say like, you know, as I, I sit here, I
have countless testimonies.
Like if, if you've been watchingthis show and you hear testimony
after testimony, I know youmentioned you could have a seat
at this table.
Mm.
In a sense you could have a seatin this chair.
In the chair, yeah.
Like your life could be indarkness.
You could be bound.

(01:42:26):
Alcoholic drug addict, you know,all type of trauma or abuse.
Abuse as a child.
And God could heal you.
Transform you, and not only you,but use you to be a blessing.
Blessing.
So, man, my, what I just feel islike you too could have a
testimony, and it starts byputting, by putting.

(01:42:47):
Not just putting, but makingJesus Christ, Lord and savior of
your life.
Man, God, first.
Yeah.
I know when you said that, Ijust had the image of the
listener here.
Yeah, yeah.
Like right now, maybe you don'thave a testimony.
Maybe right now your story's allthe bad.
Mm-hmm.
You haven't gotten to thatturning point, but you could.
And all it takes is a prayer.

Scott (01:43:05):
There's a song out there.
He's like, uh, I forget whosings that, but he's like, the
Lord can make your mess into amessage.
Yes.
You know?

Omar (01:43:14):
Amen.

Scott (01:43:15):
And that's the truth, man.
Amen.
Is, is I was counted out earlyin life, man.
Yeah.
So many people, man, and, and,and just as of last night, I'm.
I, I won't drop names, but I'm,you know what?
I'm, I'm able to walk into roomswith guys that I used to run
from.
You know what I mean?
I literally, I, I would runfrom, uh, the Lord has blessed

(01:43:38):
us.
You know, we have healthy kidsand family.
Our, our bills are, are paidscraping by.
Exactly.
We get by man.
The Lord provides man.
Yes.
And if, if does it did it forme, he'll do it for you.
Amen.
You know, uh, there's absolutelyno doubt and, and countless
others, you know, it's, it'sabout believing, really

(01:43:59):
believing.
And, and, and there's workinvolved in that as well.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You know?

Omar (01:44:03):
Yeah.

Scott (01:44:03):
It's not like, it's just, uh, I don't know.
It's, it's never been so good.
I've never had it's all glory toGod.
And, and, and I get great joy inthat man.
You know?
There's nothing I don't do thatI, that I don't put God first.
Man.

Omar (01:44:15):
You know what, earlier you said, I've never seen a joyful
Christian.
I, I could tell you this much.
Yeah, man.
I, I see one here, man, brother.
Amen.
Amen.
Yes.
Hey, man, brother, you knowwhat, uh, man, we're already,
you know, like, man, we're,we're for at.
But, you know, I, I wanna giveyou an opportunity.
I always, always give my guestsan opportunity.
Any final words?
Something we didn't get to orsomething you feel that the

(01:44:36):
listener needs to hear?
You know,

Scott (01:44:39):
man, you know, just, uh, uh, first and foremost, thanks
for inviting, uh, somebody likeme out here, you know?
Um.
I love what you're doing, and Ilove what he's doing here and,
and, and the good works.
And I've watched several and,and, and it's just awesome that
you have such a wide range of,of testimonies, man.
And so it's powerful.
Uh, again, is, is that, youknow, um, what you see here

(01:45:02):
tonight, um, in, in me isChrist.
And I just, I, you know, it'sreally cool that I can say that
today, you know, and, and Ithank you Lord, you know, and it
is that simple.
I'm grateful for my wife, mykids.
Um, I'm grateful for the guysthat the mentors in my life

(01:45:23):
today, um, that have been reallypatient in this walk, you know,
and, and that love me and, andshow me compassion.
And I get to share that witheverybody, you know?
Um, I'm no longer on the wrongside.
And so, um, again, it.
If, if Christ can do it with me,in me, he'll do it for anybody,

(01:45:47):
man.
Amen.
And I mean that man.
I, man, I've been an expertrunner my whole life, and today
I am not running.

Omar (01:45:52):
Amen.
You

Scott (01:45:53):
know, so, yeah.
That's all I'd like is, is thatthe Lord loves us, man.
Yes, he does.
Yeah.
Amen.
Yes, he

Omar (01:45:59):
does.
And he has a plan for us.
Yeah.
You know, with that brother,could you close us out in the
prayer?
Absolutely.

Scott (01:46:03):
Amen.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
Uh, we thank you, father God,for this opportunity to, to lift
you up and, and to give you allthe glory and this joy that we
have this evening, and mybrother Omar and, and the city
of Chicago that's listening and,and, and far beyond I'm sure.
So we're just grateful for ourbrothers and sisters.

(01:46:24):
Uh, we're grateful for yourmessage.
Um, we're grateful for that HolySpirit and, and life today.
Uh, you know, them chains areoff and, and.
And we just ask that, um, yourname be glorified in our message
tonight.
And, uh, we pray for safetravels home and, and Omar's
spending time with the familyand get back home to my family.

(01:46:45):
And I just pray for those that,uh, might be in darkness, that
are listening tonight, that,that they, that the God will,
that God will meet you anywhere,and that the Lord do so much
with just so little light.
So we just lift up the Lord and,and in Jesus name.
And we thank, you know, we thankFather God for, for this such

(01:47:09):
divine evening.
And, and in Jesus' names wepray.
Amen.

Omar (01:47:13):
Amen.
Amen.
Th th Thank you brother, man.
I want to thank you for.
Coming on here.
You know, I, I know you had along ride.
I think you said an hour and 10minutes, man.
It was a, it was a cruise man,but, oh man, you're here and
we're definitely been blessedby, by your story, brother.
Aw.
And we

Scott (01:47:27):
are gonna, and we are gonna go do some fishing, man.
I can't wait to get you in thekitchen, sir, sir.
Even it's just at the foundationoffice, bro.
You know what I

Omar (01:47:33):
was thinking?
Even if I, I could volunteer,you know what I'm saying?
Like, uh, I'll definitely, likeI said, I'm gonna, I'm gonna
share it, you know, share thatsite again, and then I'm gonna,
I'm still put it in thedescription.
Okay.
Yeah.

Scott (01:47:42):
You're gonna have this, but, uh, it's mercedes and
foundation.org.
It's M-E-R-S-A-D-E-S-A-N-Nfoundation.org, uh, Wheaton,
Illinois.

Omar (01:47:54):
How, how often are you guys gonna plan to do these
events?
Uh, so

Scott (01:47:57):
right now, in the summer, we're doing once a month, but
we're also trying to, so thewhole, the goal here is to get
fathers back in the homes,right?
So we're trying to start up, uh,weekly, biweekly, uh,
discipleship, uh, groups, uh,basically.
What you have here on thispodcast.
Let's pull up a bucket, man.
Let's go chop it up, man.
Because there's healing.
Yeah, there's healing.

(01:48:18):
When we could just, man, wedon't have to, again, we don't
have to be these hard dudestoday, man.
Like,

Omar (01:48:23):
right,

Scott (01:48:23):
we're all carrying something.
Let's go cast the line.
Catch a big fish maybe, butlet's let some stuff go, man.
And, and, and that's it, man.
That's what that spotrepresents.
But um, yeah, that's it.
So once a month.
So I'll let you know when ournext one is.
Yeah.
Uh, we just had one Saturday,so.
I'm looking at the middle ofMay.
Okay.
Gotcha.
Yeah, absolutely.

Omar (01:48:41):
Now, no, the, the second thing, uh, that just came to my
mind, the, the breathing thing.
Uh, how, how breath work.
Yeah, yeah.
How, how, how often does, doesthat happen?

Scott (01:48:48):
Oh, so the, the breath work, she, uh, the, my wife has
two this month.
Now one is this Sunday, and thenone on, I think it's the 27th if
that's the Sunday.
Um, and I can definitely, um,let you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me know how people could

Omar (01:49:01):
find out.
'cause I, I probably won'trelease this, uh, till May, may
already and may,

Scott (01:49:05):
but, so she, her, all of her stuff is on Instagram and
stuff.
Okay.
Uh, so I'll, I'll gonna, I'll,I'll share the link with you.
Okay.
Is, I don't know it off.
Is she

Omar (01:49:13):
okay with, uh, being public?
Oh, absolutely.
I'm getting it there.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Scott (01:49:16):
She, that's how my wife has, um, healed from all the
trauma that her husband caused.
Mm-hmm.
She went out to a retreat inSedona, Arizona with some
ladies, and that's what it was.
She got certified throughCalifornia and I.
And my wife has grown.
I, uh, I've watched her withother women that have been hurt

(01:49:37):
the same way by their husbandsdrugs, alcohols, lies, deceit,
all this stuff.
I, I've watched them heal Danand I, you know, it's almost
makes me wanna cry, bro.
Yeah, yeah.
No, yeah.
It's, it's, um, man, it, it'shurt in the past to, to watch
the, the, the stuff that I didto her.
You know, now that I'm, I'mclean and sober.

(01:49:59):
Yeah.
And, and living a godly life,right?
Like, it's tough to know, like,Hey man, this is the stuff that
I really did.
But to watch them heal from itand now want to help others,
it's powerful, man.
That's, that, that,

Omar (01:50:09):
that's amazing.
'cause you know, like, man,it's, I don't know what comes to
my mind.
I know people say, man, yeah, ifGod's real, he wouldn't allow
that to happen to you.
He, he, he wouldn't allow thatto happen to her.
And it's not God that does it.
You know, that's the enemy.
That's people that have freewill to either do good or bad.
But what's amazing is that God.

(01:50:30):
Could bring healing to you andthen use you and your wife as
vessels to bring healing toother, and that's where God is
glorified, man.
Yeah.
That's

Scott (01:50:38):
where Yes.
Yes.

Omar (01:50:39):
Just vessels,

Scott (01:50:40):
man.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Omar (01:50:41):
Amen, brother.
But man, hey, thank you forsharing your story, for sharing
the websites, man.
Yeah.
And, uh, with that, go, we're,we're gonna get ready to, to,
to, to wrap up.
Uh, Matthew four 16 reads,"Thepeople who sat in darkness have
seen a great light, and uponthose who sat in the region and
shadow of death light hasdawned" alongside my guest,

(01:51:02):
Scott.
My name is Omar Calvio and weare wrong to strong.

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