In this episode of WTF is on My Mind?!, I sit down with Dr. Peter Salerno — a retired psychotherapist and author who has spent decades studying personality disorders, psychopathy, and complex trauma.
Our conversation dives straight into one of the most heated debates in psychology: are narcissists shaped by trauma and upbringing, or are some people simply born with traits that evolve into full-blown disorders? Dr. Salerno challenges the conventional belief that all narcissism stems from childhood wounds, pointing to research in genetics and neuroscience that shows a far more complicated picture.
We also unpack his concept of “traumatic cognitive dissonance” — the paralyzing confusion survivors experience when an abuser deliberately installs contradictory realities in their minds. It’s not just internal conflict; it’s an engineered state of disorientation that keeps people stuck in toxic relationships and systems of control.
From there, the discussion widens: we explore how support groups can restore a shattered sense of reality, why some people lose touch with their identity after abuse, and what it really takes to rebuild a self when you were never given the space to form one in the first place. We also look at narcissistic emptiness, the myth of the “hidden shame,” and why grandiosity — not insecurity — may actually be the engine driving narcissistic behavior.
The conversation doesn’t stay confined to therapy rooms. We talk about the ways these dynamics show up in society at large — from political polarization to media manipulation — and how it all echoes the same psychological warfare found in abusive relationships.
This was a fascinating and unsettling deep dive into human psychology, which left me with a whole new lens on abuse, personality, and power.
Dr. Peter Salerno’s website: https://drpetersalerno.com
Books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Dr.-Peter-Salerno/author/B09NCBTPML
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@UCYlLHe7DyXJiOWO7kceUAHA
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drpetersalerno/
The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
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